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Bealby Chapter 4 - The Unobtrusive Parting Part One · The H. G. Wells Library

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  Speaker 1: Chapter four, Bilby a Holiday. This is a LibriVox recording.
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  Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
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  Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
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  Speaker 1: by Rita Boutros Bilby a Holiday by H. G. Wells,
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  Speaker 1: Chapter four, The Unobtrusive parting Part one sub chapter one.
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  Speaker 1: Monday was a happy day for Bilby. The caravan did
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  Speaker 1: seventeen miles and came to rest at last in a
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  Speaker 1: sloping field outside a cheerful little village set about a
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  Speaker 1: green on which was a long tent professing to be
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  Speaker 1: a theater. At the first stopping place that possessed a
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  Speaker 1: general shop, Missus Bulls bought Bilby a pair of boots.
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  Speaker 1: Then she had a bright idea. Got any pocket money, Dick,
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  Speaker 1: she asked. She gave him half a crown, that is
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  Speaker 1: to say, she gave him two shillings and sixpence or
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  Speaker 1: five sixpence or thirty pennies, according as you choose to
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  Speaker 1: look at it, in one large, undivided shining coin. Even
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  Speaker 1: if he had not been in love, here surely was
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  Speaker 1: incentive to a generous nature to help and do distinguished services.
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  Speaker 1: He dashed about doing things. The little accident on Sunday
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  Speaker 1: had warned him to be careful of the plates. And
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  Speaker 1: the only flaw upon a perfect day's service was the
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  Speaker 1: dropping of an egg on its way to the frying
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  Speaker 1: pan for supper. It remained where it fell, and there
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  Speaker 1: presently he gave it a quiet burial. There was nothing
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  Speaker 1: else to be done with it. All day long, at
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  Speaker 1: intervals Miss Phillips smiled at him and made him do
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  Speaker 1: little services for her. And in the evening, after the
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  Speaker 1: custom of her great profession when it keeps holiday, she
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  Speaker 1: insisted on going to the play. She said it would
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  Speaker 1: be the loveliest fun. She went with Missus Bowles, because
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  Speaker 1: Missus Geege wanted to sit quietly in the caravan and
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  Speaker 1: write down a few little things while they were still
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  Speaker 1: fresh in her mind. And it wasn't in the part
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  Speaker 1: of Madeleine Phillips not to insist that both William and
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  Speaker 1: Bilby must go too. She gave them each a shilling,
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  Speaker 1: though the prices were sixpence, threepence, twopence and a penny,
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  Speaker 1: and Bilby saw his first real play. It was called
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  Speaker 1: Brothers in Blood or The Gentleman Rancor. There was a
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  Speaker 1: poster which was only very slightly justified by the performance
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  Speaker 1: of a man in khaki with a bandaged head proposing
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  Speaker 1: to sell his life. Dearly over fallen Comrade one went
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  Speaker 1: to the play through an open and damaged field gate
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  Speaker 1: and a cross trampled turf. Outside the tent were two
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  Speaker 1: paraffin flares illuminating the poster, and a small cluster of
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  Speaker 1: the impecunious young. Within on grass that was worn and
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  Speaker 1: bleached were benches, a gathering audience, a piano played by
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  Speaker 1: an off hand lady, and a drop scene displaying the
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  Speaker 1: Grand Canal venice. The Grand Canal was infested by a
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  Speaker 1: crowded multitude of zealous and excessive reflections of the palaces above,
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  Speaker 1: and by peculiar crescentic black boats floating entirely out of
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  Speaker 1: water and having no reflections at all. The off hand
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  Speaker 1: lady gave a broad impression of the wedding march in
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  Speaker 1: Lohengrin and the back seats, assisted by a sort of
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  Speaker 1: gastric vocalization called humming, and by whistling between the teeth
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  Speaker 1: Madeleine Phillips evidently found it tremendous fun even before the
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  Speaker 1: curtain rose and then illusion the scenery was ridiculous, it
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  Speaker 1: waved about. The actors and actresses were surely the most
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  Speaker 1: pitiful of their tribe, and every invention in the play impossible.
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  Speaker 1: But the imagination of Bilby, like the loving kindness of God,
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  Speaker 1: made no difficulties. It rose and met and embraced and
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  Speaker 1: gave life to all these things. It was a confused
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  Speaker 1: story in the play. Everybody was more or less somebody
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  Speaker 1: else all the way through, and it got more confused
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  Speaker 1: in Bilby's mind. But it was clear from the outset
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  Speaker 1: that there was vile work of foot nets spread, and
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  Speaker 1: sweet simple people wronged, and never were sweet and simple
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  Speaker 1: people quite so sweet and simple. There was the wrongful
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  Speaker 1: brother who was weak and wicked, and the rightful brother,
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  Speaker 1: who was vindictively, almost viciously good. And there was an
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  Speaker 1: ingrained villain who was a baronet, a man who wore
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  Speaker 1: a frock coat and a silk hat, and carried gloves
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  Speaker 1: and a stick in every scene and upon all occasions,
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  Speaker 1: that sort of man he looked askance always. There was
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  Speaker 1: a dear simple girl with a vast, sweet smile, who
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  Speaker 1: was loved according to their natures by the wrongful and
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  Speaker 1: the rightful brother, and a large, wicked red clad, lip
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  Speaker 1: biting woman whose passions made the crazy little stage quiver.
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  Speaker 1: There was a comic butler, very different stuff from old Merkelson,
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  Speaker 1: who wore an evening coat and plaid trousers and nearly
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  Speaker 1: choked Bilby. Why weren't all butlers like that? Funny? And
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  Speaker 1: there were constant denunciations. Always there were denunciations going on,
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  Speaker 1: or denunciations impending that took Bilby particularly. Never surely in
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  Speaker 1: all the world were bad people so steadily and thoroughly
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  Speaker 1: scolded and told what everybody hissed them, Bilby hissed them.
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  Speaker 1: And when they were told what, he applauded. And yet
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  Speaker 1: they kept on with their wickedness to the very curtain.
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  Speaker 1: They retired askance to the end, foiled, but pursuing. A
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  Speaker 1: time will come, they said. There was a moment in
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  Speaker 1: the distresses of the heroine when Bilby dashed aside a tear,
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  Speaker 1: and then at last, most wonderfully, it all came right.
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  Speaker 1: The company lined up and hoped that Bilby was satisfied.
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  Speaker 1: Bilby wished he had more hands. His heart seemed to
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  Speaker 1: fill his body, Oh, prime, prime, and out he came
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  Speaker 1: into the sympathetic night. But he was no longer a
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  Speaker 1: trivial Bilby. His soul was purged. He was a strong
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  Speaker 1: and silent man, ready to explode into generous repartee or
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  Speaker 1: nerve himself for high endeavor. He slipped off in the
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  Speaker 1: opposite direction from the caravan because he wanted to be
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  Speaker 1: alone for a time and feel He did not want
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  Speaker 1: to jar upon a sphere of glorious illusion that had
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  Speaker 1: blown up in his mind like a bubble. He was
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  Speaker 1: quite sure that he had been wronged. Not to be
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  Speaker 1: wronged is to forego the first privilege of goodness. He
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  Speaker 1: had been deeply wronged by a plot. All those butlers
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  Speaker 1: were in the plot? Or why should they have chased him?
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  Speaker 1: He was much older than he really was. It had
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  Speaker 1: been kept from him, and in truth he was a
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  Speaker 1: rightful heir Earl Schantz, he whispered, and indeed, why not?
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  Speaker 1: And Madeleine too had been wronged. She had been reduced
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  Speaker 1: to wander in this uncomfortable caravan, this gipsy queen. She
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  Speaker 1: had been brought to it by villains, the same villains
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  Speaker 1: who had wronged Bielby. Out he went into the night,
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  Speaker 1: the kindly, consenting summer night, where there is nothing to
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  Speaker 1: be seen or heard that will contradict these delicious, wonderful persuasions.
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  Speaker 1: He was so full of these dreams that he strayed
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  Speaker 1: far away along the dark country lanes, and had at
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  Speaker 1: last the utmost difficulty in finding his way back to
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  Speaker 1: the caravan. And when ultimately he got back, after hours
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  Speaker 1: and hours of heroic existence, it did not even seem
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  Speaker 1: that they had missed him. It did not seem that
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  Speaker 1: he had been away half an hour. Sub Chapter two.
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  Speaker 1: Tuesday was not so happy a day for Bilby as Monday.
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  Speaker 1: Its shadows began when Missus Bowles asked him in a
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  Speaker 1: friendly tone when it was clean collar day. He was
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  Speaker 1: unready with his answer. And don't you ever use a
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  Speaker 1: hair brush? Dick, she asked, I'm sure now there's one
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  Speaker 1: in your parcel. I do use it sometimes, Mum, he admitted.
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  Speaker 1: And I've never detected you with a tooth brush yet,
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  Speaker 1: though that perhaps is extreme. And Dick, soap, I think
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  Speaker 1: you'd better be letting me give you a cake of soap.
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  Speaker 1: I'd be very much obliged, Mum. I hardly dare hint
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  Speaker 1: Dick at a clean handkerchief. Such things are known, if
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  Speaker 1: you wouldn't mind. When I've got the breakfast things done.
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  Speaker 1: The thing worried him all through breakfast. He had not
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  Speaker 1: expected personalities from Missus Bowles, more particularly personalities of this kind.
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  Speaker 1: He felt he had to think hard. He affected modesty
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  Speaker 1: after he had cleared away breakfast and carried off his
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  Speaker 1: little bundle to a point in the stream, which was
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  Speaker 1: masked from the encampment by willows. With him, he also
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  Speaker 1: brought that cake of soap. He began by washing his handkerchief,
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  Speaker 1: which was bad policy because that left him no dry towel.
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  Speaker 1: But his jacket. He ought he perceived to have secured
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  Speaker 1: a dishcloth or a newspaper. This he must remember on
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  Speaker 1: the next occasion. He did over his hands and the
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  Speaker 1: more exposed parts of his face with soap and jacket.
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  Speaker 1: Then he took off and examined his collar. It certainly
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  Speaker 1: was pretty bad, why, cried Missus Bowles when he returned.
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  Speaker 1: That's still the same collar. They all seem to have
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  Speaker 1: got crumpled, mum, said Bilby. But are they all as dirty?
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  Speaker 1: I had some blacking in my parcels, said Bilby, and
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  Speaker 1: it got loose. Mum. I'll have to get another collar
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  Speaker 1: when we come to a shop. It was a financial sacrifice,
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  Speaker 1: but it was the only way. And when they came
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  Speaker 1: to the shop, Bilby secured a very nice collar, indeed high,
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  Speaker 1: with pointed, turned down corners, so that it cut his
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  Speaker 1: neck all round, jamped him under the chin, and gave
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  Speaker 1: him a proud upcast carriage of the head that led
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  Speaker 1: to his treading upon and very completely destroying a stray
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  Speaker 1: plate while preparing lunch. But it was more of a
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  Speaker 1: man's collar, he felt, than anything he had ever worn before,
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  Speaker 1: and it cost sixpence halfpenny six d half. I should
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  Speaker 1: have mentioned that while washing up the breakfast things, he
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  Speaker 1: had already broken the handle off one of the breakfast cups.
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  Speaker 1: Both these accidents deepened the cloud upon his day. And
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  Speaker 1: then there was the trouble of William. William, having meditated
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  Speaker 1: upon the differences between them for a day, had now
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  Speaker 1: invented an activity. As Bilby sat beside him behind the
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  Speaker 1: white horse, he was suddenly and frightfully pinched gee. One
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  Speaker 1: wanted to yelp chocolate, said William through his teeth, and
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  Speaker 1: very very savagely. Now, then, after William had done that twice,
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  Speaker 1: Bilby preferred to walk beside the caravan. Thereupon William whipped
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  Speaker 1: up the white Horse and broke records, and made all
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  Speaker 1: the crockery sing together, and forced the pace until he
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  Speaker 1: was spoken to by Missus Bow. It was upon a Bilby,
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  Speaker 1: thus depressed and worried, that the rumor of impending men
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  Speaker 1: folk came. It began after the party had stopped for
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  Speaker 1: letters at a village post office. There were not only letters,
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  Speaker 1: but a telegram that Missus Bulls read with her spats
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  Speaker 1: far apart and her head on one side. You'd like
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  Speaker 1: to know about it, she said waggishly to miss Phillips,
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  Speaker 1: and you just sha'n't. She then went into her letters.
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  Speaker 1: You've got some news, said Missus Gach. I have that,
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  Speaker 1: said Missus Boles, and not a word more could they
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  Speaker 1: get from her. I'll keep my news no longer, said
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  Speaker 1: Missus Boles, lighting her cigarette after lunch, as Bilby hovered
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  Speaker 1: about clearing away the banana skins and such like vestiges
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  Speaker 1: of dessert tomorrow night, as ever is, if so be
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  Speaker 1: we get to Winthrop Sutbury, there'll be men among us.
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  Speaker 1: But Tom's not coming, said Missus Goech. He asked him
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  Speaker 1: to tell me, to tell you, and you've kept it
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  Speaker 1: these two hours Judy, for your own good and peace
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  Speaker 1: of mind. But now the mother's out come, they will
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  Speaker 1: your man and my men, pretending to a pity because
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  Speaker 1: they can't do without us. But like the self indulgent
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  Speaker 1: monsters they are, they must needs stop at some grand
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  Speaker 1: hotel red Lake. He calls it the Royal, on the
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  Speaker 1: hill above Winthorpe, Sutbury. The Royal, the very name describes it.
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  Speaker 1: Can't you see the lounge girls, with its white cane
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  Speaker 1: chairs and saddle backs. No other hotel, it seems, is
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  Speaker 1: good enough for them, And we, if you please, are
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  Speaker 1: asked to go in and have what does the man
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  Speaker 1: call it? The comforts of decency, and let the caravan
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  Speaker 1: rest for a bit. Tim promised me, I should run
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  Speaker 1: wild as long as I chose, said Missus Goach. Looking
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  Speaker 1: anything but wild, they're after thinking we've had enough of it,
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  Speaker 1: said Missus Boles. It sounds like that. Sure, I go
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  Speaker 1: on like this forever, said Judy. Tis the man and
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  Speaker 1: the house and all of it that oppresses me. Van's
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  Speaker 1: for women. Let's not go to win Thorpe, Sutbury, said Madeline.
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  Speaker 1: The first word of sense Bilby had heard. Ah, said
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  Speaker 1: Missus Boles archly who knows, but what they'll be a
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  Speaker 1: man for you, some sort of man. Anyhow, Bilby thought
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  Speaker 1: that a most improper remark. I want no man. Ah.
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  Speaker 1: Why do you say ah like that? Because I mean
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  Speaker 1: ah like that, meaning just that. Miss Phillips eyed Missus Bowles,
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  Speaker 1: and Missus Bulls eyed Miss Phillips. Judy, she said, you've
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  Speaker 1: got something up your sleeve where it's perfectly comfortable, said
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  Speaker 1: Missus Bowles, And then, quite maddeningly, she remarked, will you
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  Speaker 1: be after washing up? Presently, Dick, and looked at him
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  Speaker 1: with a roguish quiet over her cigarette. It was necessary
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  Speaker 1: to disabuse her mind at once of the idea that
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  Speaker 1: he had been listening. He took up the last few
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  Speaker 1: plates and went off to the washing place by the stream.
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  Speaker 1: All the rest of that conversation had to be lost,
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  Speaker 1: except that as he came back for the Hudson's soap,
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  Speaker 1: he heard Miss Phillips say, keep your old men. I'll
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  Speaker 1: just console myself with Dick my DearS making such a mystery,
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  Speaker 1: to which Missus Bowles replied darkly, she little knows a
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  Speaker 1: kind of consolation was to be got from that, But
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  Speaker 1: what was it? She little knew? Sub Chapter three. The
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  Speaker 1: men folk when they came, were nothing so terrific to
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  Speaker 1: the site as Bilby had expected, and thank heaven, there
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: were only two of them, and each assigned something he
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: perceived was said about someone else. He couldn't quite catch what,
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  Speaker 1: But if there was to have been some one else
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  Speaker 1: at any rate, there now wasn't. Professor Bowles was animated
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  Speaker 1: and mister Geech was gracefully cold. They kissed their wives,
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  Speaker 1: but not offensively, and there was a chattering pause while
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  Speaker 1: Bilby walked on beside the caravan. They were on the
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  Speaker 1: bare road that runs along the high Ridge above Winthorpe, Sudbury,
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  Speaker 1: and the men had walked to meet them from some
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  Speaker 1: hotel or other. Bilby wasn't clear about that. By the
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  Speaker 1: golf links, Judy was the life and soul of the encounter,
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  Speaker 1: and all for asking the men what they meant by
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: intruding upon three independent women who, sure alive, could very
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  Speaker 1: well do without them. Professor Bulls took her pretty calmly
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  Speaker 1: and seemed on the hull to admire her. Professor Bulls
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: was a compact little man, wearing spectacles with alternative glasses,
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  Speaker 1: partly curved, partly flat. He was hairy, and dressed in
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  Speaker 1: that sort of soft, tweedy stuff that ravels out. He
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: seemed to have been sitting among thorns and baggy knickerbockers
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  Speaker 1: with straps and very thick stockings and very sensible open air,
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  Speaker 1: in fact, quite mountainous boots. And yet though he was
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  Speaker 1: short and stout and active, he had a kind of
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  Speaker 1: authority about him. And it was clear that for all
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: her persuasiveness, his wife merely ran over him like a creeper,
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  Speaker 1: without making any great difference to him. I've found, he said,
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  Speaker 1: the perfect place for your encampment. She had been making suggestions,
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  Speaker 1: and he left the ladies and came hurrying after the
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: caravan to take control. He was evidently a very controlling person.
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  Speaker 1: Here you get down, he said to William that poor
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  Speaker 1: beast's got enough to pull without you, And when William mumbled,
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  Speaker 1: he said hey, in such a shout that William for
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  Speaker 1: ever after held his peace. Where do you come from?
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  Speaker 1: You boy? You? He asked suddenly, and Bilby looked to
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  Speaker 1: missus Bowles to explain. Great silly collar you've got, said
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: the professor, interrupting her reply. Boy like this ought to
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: wear a wool's shirt dirty too, take it off. Boy,
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  Speaker 1: it's choking you, don't you feel it. Then he went
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: on to make trouble about the tackle William had rigged
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  Speaker 1: to contain the white horse. This harness makes me sick,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: said Professor Bowles. It's worse than Italy. Ah, he cried,
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  Speaker 1: and suddenly darted off across the turf, going inelegantly and
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: very rapidly, with peculiar motions of the head and neck
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: as he brought first the flat and then the curved
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: surface of his glasses into play. Finally, he dived into
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  Speaker 1: the turf, remained scrabbling on all fours for a moment
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  Speaker 1: or so, became almost still for the fraction of a minute,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and then got up and returned to his wife, holding
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  Speaker 1: in an exquisite manner something that struggled between his finger
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: and his thumb. That's the third to day, he said, triumphantly.
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  Speaker 1: They swarm here. It's a migration. Then he resumed his
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: penetrating criticism of the caravan outfit. That boy, he said, suddenly,
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  Speaker 1: with his glasses oblique hasn't taken off his collar yet.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Bilby revealed the modest secrets of his neck and pocketed
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  Speaker 1: the collar. Mister Gech did not appear to observe Bielby.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: He was a man of the super aquiline type, with
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  Speaker 1: a nose like a rudder. He held his face as
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: if it was a hatchet in a procession, and walked
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  Speaker 1: with the dignity of a man of honor. You could
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: see at once he was a man of honor. Inflexibly, invincibly,
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  Speaker 1: he was a man of honor. You felt that anywhere
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  Speaker 1: in a fire, in an earthquake, in a railway accident,
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  Speaker 1: when other people would be running about and doing things,
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  Speaker 1: he would have remained a man of honor. It was
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: his pride, rather than his vanity, to be mistaken for
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  Speaker 1: Sir Edward Gray. He now walked along with Miss Phillips
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  Speaker 1: and his wife behind the disputing bulses, and discoursed in deep,
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  Speaker 1: sonorous tones about the healthiness of healthy places and the
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  Speaker 1: stifling feeling one had in towns when there was no heir.
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  Speaker 1: Sub Chapter four. The professor was remarkably active. When at
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  Speaker 1: last the point he had chosen for the encampment was reached.
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  Speaker 1: Bilby was told to look alive twice, and William was
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  Speaker 1: assigned to his genus and species. The man's an absolute
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: idiot was the way the professor put it, William just
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  Speaker 1: shot a glance at him over his nose. The place
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  Speaker 1: certainly commanded a wonderful view. It was a turfy bank,
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  Speaker 1: protected from the north and south by bushes of yew
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  Speaker 1: and the beech bordered edge of a chalk pit. It
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  Speaker 1: was close beside the road, a road which went steeply
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  Speaker 1: down the hill into Winthorpe Sutbury. With that intrepid decision
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  Speaker 1: peculiar to the hill roads of the south of England.
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  Speaker 1: It looked, indeed, as though you could throw the rints
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: of your teacups into the Winthorpe Sutbury Street, as if
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: you could jump and impale yourself upon the church spire.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: The hills bellied out east and west and carried hangers,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and then swept round to the west in a long
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: level succession of projections, a perspective that merged at last
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: with the general horizon of hilly bluenesses, amidst which Professor
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Bulls insisted upon a sapphire glimpse of sea the channel,
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: said Professor Bowles, as though that made it easier for them.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Only mister Geege refused to see even that mitigated version
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: of the sea. There was something, perhaps bluish and level,
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: but he was evidently not going to admit it was
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: sea until he had paddled in it and tested it
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: in every way known to him. Good Lord, cried the professor.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: What's the man doing now? Williams stopped the struggles and
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: confidential discouragements he was bestowing upon the white horse and
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: waited for a more definite reproach, putting the caravan alongside
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: to the sun. Do you think it will ever get
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: cool again? And think of the blaze of the sunset
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: through the glass of that door, William spluttered. If I
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: putn't to'ther away? Go runnin down hill like said William, imbecile,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: cried the Professor. Put something under the wheels. Here He
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: careered about and produced great gray fragments of a perished
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: yew tree. Now, then he said, head up hill. William
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: did his best. Oh not like that here, you Bilby
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: assisted with obsequious enthusiasm. It was some time before the
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: caravan was adjusted to the complete satisfaction of the Professor,
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: but at last it was done, and the end door
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: gaped at the whole prospect of the wheeled with the
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: steps hanging out idiotically like a tongue. The hind wheels
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: were stayed up very cleverly by lumps of chalk and
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: chunks of yew, living and dead, and certainly the effect
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: of it was altogether taller and better. And then the
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: preparations for the midday cooking began. The professor was full
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: of acute ideas about camping and cooking, and gave Bilby
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: a lively but instructive time. There was no stream handy,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: but William was sent off to the hotel to fetch
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: a garden water cart that the Professor, with infinite foresight,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: had arranged should be ready. The gages held aloof from
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: these preparations. They were unassuming people. Miss Phillips concentrated her
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: attention upon the wheeled it seemed to Bilby a little discontentedly,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: as if it was unworthy of her. And missus Bulls
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: hovered smoking cigarettes over her husband's activities, acting great amusement.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: You see it pleases me to get himself busy. She said,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: you'll end a camper yet, Darlant and us in the hotel.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: The professor answered nothing, but seemed to plunge deeper into practicality.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Under the urgency of Professor Bowles. Bilby stumbled and broke
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: a glass jar of marmalade over some fried potatoes, but
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: otherwise did well as a cook's assistant. Once things were
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: a little interrupted by the Professor going off to catch
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: a cricket, but whether it was the right sort of
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: cricket or not, he failed to get it, and then
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: there were three loud reports. For a moment Bilby thought
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: the mad butlers from Schantz were upon him with firearms.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Captain Douglas arrived and got off his motor bicycle and
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: left it by the roadside. His machine accounted for his delay,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: for those were the early days of motor bicycles. It
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: also accounted for a black smudge under one of his
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: bright little eyes. He was fair and flushed, dressed in
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: oilskins and a helmet shaped cap and great gauntlets that
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: made him, in spite of the smudge, look strange and
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: brave and handsome like a crusader, only that he was
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: clad in oil skin and not steel, and his mustache
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: was smaller than those crusaders wore. And when he came
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: across the turf to the encampment, Missus Bowles and Missus
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Geege both set up a cry of ah ah, and
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Miss Phillips turned an accusing face upon those two ladies.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Bilby knelt with a bunch of knives and forks in
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: his hand, laying the cloth for lunch. And when he
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: saw Captain Douglas approaching Miss Phillips, he perceived clearly that
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: that lady had had already forgotten her lowly adorer. And
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: his little heart was smitten with desolation. This man was
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: arrayed like a chivalrous god. And how was a poor Bilby,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: whose very collar, his one little circlet of manhood, had
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: been reft from him? How was he to compete with
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: this tremendousness in that hour? The ambition for mechanism, the
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: passion for leather and oil skin, was sown in Bilby's heart.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I told you not to come near me for a month,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: said Madeleine, but her face was radiant. These motor bicycles
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: very difficult to control, said Captain Douglas, And all the
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: little golden white hairs upon his sunlit cheek glittered in
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: the sun. And besides, said missus Bowles, it's all nonsense.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: The professor was in a state of arrested administration. The
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: three others were frankly audience to a clearly understood scene.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: You ought to be in France. I'm not in France.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I sent you into exile for a month. And she
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: held out a hand for the captain to kiss. He
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: kissed it. Some day somewhere it was written in the
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Book of Destiny Bielby should also kiss hands. It was
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: a lovely thing to do. Month. It's been years, said
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: the captain, years and years. Then you ought to have
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: come back before, she replied, and the captain had no
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: answer ready sub Chapter five. When William arrived with the
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: water cart, he brought also further proofs of the professor's
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: organizing ability. He brought various bottles of wine, red Burgundy
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: and sparkling hock, two bottles of cider, and peculiar and
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: meritorious water. He brought tin things for aud'eure. He brought
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: some luscious pears. When he had a moment with Bilby
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: behind the caravan, he repeated thrice, in tones of hopeless sorrow,
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: they'll eat 'em all. I knows they'll eat em all,
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: and then plumbing a deeper deep of woe. If they don't,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: they'll count em od goggles of bagum he's a bagger,
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: he is. It was the brightest of luncheons that was
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: eaten that day in the sunshine and spaciousness above Winthorpe, Sutbury.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Everyone was gay, and even the love torn Bilby, who
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: might well have sunk into depression and lethargy, was galvanized
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: into an activity that was almost cheerful. By flashes from
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: the Professor's glasses. They talked of this, and that Bilby
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: hadn't much time to attend, though the laughter that followed
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: various sallies from Judy Bow was very tantalizing, and it
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: had come to the pears before. His attention wasn't so
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: much caught as felled by the word Schantz. It was
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: as if the sky had suddenly changed to vermilion. All
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: these people were talking of Schantz. Went there, said Captain Douglas,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: in perfect good faith, wanted to fill up Lucy's little party.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: One doesn't go to Chance nowadays for idle pleasure. And
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: then I get ordered out of the house, absolutely told
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: to go. This man had been at Schance. That was
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: on Sunday morning, said Missus Goach. On Sunday morning, said
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Missus Boles. Suddenly we were almost within sight of Schance.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: This man had been at Shance even at the time
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: when Bilby was there early on Sunday morning, told to go.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I was fairly flabbergasted. What the deuce is a man
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: to do? Where's he to go? Sunday? One doesn't go
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: to places Sunday morning. There, I'd been sleeping like a
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: lamb all night, and suddenly in came Laxton and said,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: look here, you know, he said, you've got to oblige
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: me and pack your bag and go. Now, why said I,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Because you've driven the Lord Chancellor's stark, staring mad But
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: how asked the Professor, almost angrily. How I don't see it?
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: Why should he ask you to go? I don't know,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: cried Captain Douglas. Yes, but said the Professor, protesting against
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: the unreasonableness of mankind. I'd had a word or two
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: with him in the train. Nothing to speak of about
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: occupying two corner seats always strikes me as a CAD's trick,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: But on my honor, I didn't rub it in, and
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: then he got it into his head. We were laughing
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: at him at dinner. We were a bit but only
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: this sort of thing one says about any one way
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: he works his eyebrows and all that. And then he
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: thought I was ragging him. I don't rag people got
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: it so strongly he made a row that night, said
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: I'd made a ghost slap him on his back. Hang it.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: What can you say to a thing like that in
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: my room? All the time you suffer for the sins
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: of your brother, said missus. Bulls heavens, cried the captain.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: I never thought of that. Perhaps he mistook me, he
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: reflected for a moment and continued his narrative. Then in
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: the night, you know he heard noises. They always do,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: said the professor, nodding confirmation. Couldn't sleep A sure sign,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: said the professor, And finally he sallied out in the
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: early morning, caught the butler in one of the secret passages.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: How did the butler get into the secret passage going round?
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: I suppose part of his duties. Anyway, He gave the
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: poor beggar an awful doing, awful brutal, black eye, all
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: that sort of thing. Man much too respectful to hit back,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: finally declared I'd been getting up a kind of rag,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: squaring the servants to help, and so forth. Laxton I
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: fancy half believed it. Awkward thing, you know, having it
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: said about you, you ragged The Lord Chancellor makes a
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: man seem a sort of mischievous idiot. Injures a man.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: Then going away, you see, seems a kind of admission.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Why did you go, lucy, said the captain, compactly hysterics.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Chance would have burst, he added if I hadn't gone.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Madeleine was helpful. But you'll have to do something further,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: she said. What is one to do, squealed the captain.
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: The sooner you get the Lord Chancellor certified a lunatic,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: said the professor, soundly, the better for your professional prospects.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: He went on pretty bed. After I'd gone, you've heard
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: two letters. I picked him up at Wheatley Post Office
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: this morning. You know he hadn't done with that. Butler
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: actually got out of his place and scruffed the poor
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: devil at lunch. Shook him like a rat, she says, said.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: The man wasn't giving him anything to drink. Nice story, eh, anyhow,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: he scruffed him until things got broken. I had it
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: all from Minnie Tamber, you know, used to be Minny Flax.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: He shot a propitiating glance at Madeleine used to be
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: neighbors of ours, you know, in the old time. Half
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: the people, she says, didn't know what was happening. Thought
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: the butler was up, and that old Muggeridge was helping
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: him stand up, taking off his collar. It was Laxton
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: thought of saying it was a fit. Told everybody, she says,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: had to tell him something I suppose, but she saw better,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: and she thinks a good many others did. Laxton ran
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: em both out of the room. Nice scene for chance
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Eh thundering. Awkward for poor Lucy. Not the sort of
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: thing the county expected. Has her both ways. Can't go
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: to a house where the Lord Chancellor goes mad one alternative.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Can't go to a house where the butler has fits.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: That's the other. See the dilemma. I've got a letter
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: from Lucy too. It's here he struggled see eight sheets pencil.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: No joke for a man to read that, And she
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: writes worse than any decent, self respecting, illiterate woman has
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: a right to do quivers like riding in a train.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: Can't read half of it, but she's got something about
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: a boy on her mind. Mad about a boy? Have
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I taken away a boy. They've lost a boy, took
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: him in my luggage. I suppose she'd better write to
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: the Lord Chancellor. Likely as not. He met him in
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: some odd corner and flew at him, smashed him to
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Adam's dispersed him. Anyhow, they've lost a boy, he protested
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: to the world. I can't go hunting lost boys for Lucy.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I've done enough. Coming away as I did. Missus Bulls
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: held out an arresting cigarette. What sort of boy was lost?
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: She asked, I don't know, some little beast of a boy.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I dare say she'd only imagined it, halving been too
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: much for her. Read that over again, said Missus boles
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: about losing a We've found one, that little chap, we
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: found that boy. She glanced over her shoulder, but Bilby
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: was nowhere to be seen. On Sunday morning, near Schantz,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: he strayed into us like a lost kitten. But I
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: thought you said you knew his father. Judy objected. The
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: professor didn't verify, said missus Bolsch shortly, and then to
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Captain Douglas. Read over again what Lady Laxton says about him.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: Sub Chapter six. Captain Douglas struggled with the difficulties of
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: his cousin's handwriting. Everybody drew together over the fragments of
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: the dessert with an eager curiosity, and helped to weigh
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Lady Laxton's rather disheveled phrases. End of Chapter four