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Why Do Narcissists Tend To Go After Vulnerable People? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  There are a ton of narcissists that go after the most
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  vulnerable people. That includes addicts, people
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  that are getting out of types of relationships, abuse victims,
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  like people are just getting out of jail.
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  Anybody vulnerable. There are a lot of narcissists
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  that target those people and that's what we're talking about
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  today. Y'all?
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  Of course, if you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist myself and welcome to another
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  episode of The Narcissist Code. Boom, Welcome back folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back. Yes, a lot of people ask me who
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  do narcissists go after? Why, why?
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  Why do narcissists target certain people?
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  Why do narcissists like certain people, like certain people from
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  different backgrounds and things like that.
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  And I was doing a one O 1 over Zoom the other day, right?
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  And I had a woman the no, she's in my support group.
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  One of the ladies is in my support group.
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  She told me she's like, yeah, I was in a A and my narcissistic
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  partner was in there. Or that's why I met my
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  narcissistic partner at and I was just like, wait a minute,
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  you might be on something there because a lot of narcissistic
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  toxic ass people do like going after vulnerable people like at
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  like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, a a
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  codependence Anonymous. There are a lot of narcissists
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  that go after people in those meetings and whatnot.
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  Man, it is crazy. And like I said before, I've
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  heard, it's not the first time that I've heard something like
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  that. I've heard it quite a bit
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  actually. Like I met I hey, I'm
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  recovering, recovering, recovering alcoholic and I just
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  happened to meet my partner here and I'll be like, wow, wait a
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  minute, you met your partner at the are they also an alcoholic
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  or are they also a recovery addict?
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  At first I thought they were, but they were pretending this
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  person that they met their narcissistic partner while they
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  were pretending to be in recovery, Like pretending to be
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  in recovery. How dark is that right there?
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  How dark do you have to be in order to pretend to be in
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  recovery? To try to get narcissistic
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  supply, to try to pick off a victim, to try to get somebody
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  that's trying to heal, to try to get somebody that's looking for
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  community and things like that? This is sick, man.
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  And yes, there are a lot of sick narcissistic people out there
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  that absolutely will do something like this.
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  They absolutely have done something like this.
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  They absolutely keep doing things like this.
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  Like you know how you know how hard it is to first of all, how
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  hard it is and how powerful you have to be to go to to go to
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  recovery and go to some like something like a a or something
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  along those lines, right? You have to be strong.
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  You have to fight through that. You have to go there and keep
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  going there, right? It's tougher when you're going
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  through there, you meet somebody that you trust that you think is
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  going through the same thing. Yes, narcissist might also be a
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  recovery addict, right? But you think they're going
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  through the same thing as you. And now not only do you have to
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  heal and get past the addiction, you have to heal and try to get
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  past the toxic relationship dynamic.
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  That's wild right there. Y'all imagine having to do that
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  right there because there are so many people that battle this
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  right here, right that battle going like dealing with a
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  narcissistic person that is doing something like this.
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  That is super yeah, it's super dark.
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  It's super it it is extremely dark to do something like this.
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  And let's get like I said, let's keep it high and ready like a
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  Little Caesars pizza. Little Caesars.
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  Well, yeah, I need y'all. I'll eat Little Caesars in a
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  comment section ASAP. But it's it's extremely
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  difficult because like you go into these places thinking that
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  they're thinking that this is a safe place, thinking that
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  thinking that this is a safe spot for you, somewhere safe for
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  you to heal and let everything out that you might have been
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  holding in to work through some of the trauma or the abuse from
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  your past. And then you end up meeting a
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  toxic narcissistic person in here that you don't that you
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  don't think is toxic. At first.
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  You think that they're going through the same thing that
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  you're going through or they very might well have right.
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  And then all of a sudden they y'all start dating or you start
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  being a deep friendship or whatever the case may be.
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  And then and they start to take it away, they love bomb you,
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  right? And no, I've said this before,
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  not all love bombing is involving gifts and things like
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  that. Some love bombing, it really is
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  just being able to listen to you, just being able to be there
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  for you. That's a part of love bombing as
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  well. So they will love bomb you with
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  the thought of being there for you and being going through this
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  situation together because there's so many people that do
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  go through these situations and they feel like you're alone.
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  So you join this Codependence Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous,
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  NA, whatever it is. And you go in there, find in the
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  group, and then you find out that some people in this group
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  are horrible people. Yeah.
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  One of the wildest conversations I've had is somebody that went
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  to a A to hear to get over, you know, being being an alcoholic,
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  right? To not heal, not not get over
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  it, to deal with it, right, to go into recovery, to try to get
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  past this. And then they'd be the
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  narcissist. The narcissist treats them
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  terribly, discards them, and then ends up with somebody else
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  in the same group. Imagine that happening to you.
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  You're trying to heal, get past this toxicity, right?
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  And then they're with somebody else in the same group that's
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  dark, that's damn near evil, man.
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  And then they'll throw it. Then they try to act like
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  they're a good person. They won't throw it in your
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  face. They won't try to make a scene
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  because they don't want to hurt their reputation with the group.
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  So they'll just try to make it seem like everything was
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  amicable and that's why they try to be cool with you.
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  It's sick, man. It is absolutely a sickness to
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  have somebody that is doing something like this and they
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  have to deal with it. And to be on the other end of it
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  having to deal with somebody that's doing something like
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  this. It is sick, man.
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  I, I hate to have you. I hate when I heard the people
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  go through this. OK, Lee, you told us that they
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  do it now. Why the hell would a narcissist
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  go after someone in such a vulnerable state?
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  I'm glad you asked because vulnerable people tend to make
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  easy targets for narcissists, and I'm not trying to be funny.
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  Vulnerable people, vulnerable people, vulnerable people are
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  going through things. You're looking for help.
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  You're, you might be in a trusting space.
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  You might be healing from domestic violence or something
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  like that. You might need someone you might
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  want to love. You might, you know, you might
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  be trying to heal and need someone.
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  You're going through something and they play.
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  There are a lot of narcissists out here with hero complexes and
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  they get into your life. They come into your life and try
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  to play the hero. They'll play the hero to make
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  make it seem like they're helping you get through this
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  situation where a lot of times they're just exacerbating the
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  issue that you're going through. They're activating the issues
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  and things like that. They're so there's people that
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  I've talked to one-on-one that have been trying to get over
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  alcoholism or trying to heal from domestic violence,
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  whatever, right? And then the narcissist treats
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  them so horribly that they pick up the vice again.
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  Lee I had stopped drinking. I was sober.
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  I had got my one year chip. I was going to these meetings.
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  I met this toxic narcissistic person and then they they
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  manipulated me. We ended up together.
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  They discarded me. And now I just took my first
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  drink in the year. Now I just smoked for the first
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  time in a year. Now I just did Coca-Cola for the
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  first time in a year. Sometimes these relationships
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  with these people stress you out so much that it feel like you
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  feel like you're getting drugged back into the relationship
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  dynamic, that you feel like you're getting drugged back into
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  the addiction. And there's some people who
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  escaped toxic, who escaped narcissistic relationships and
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  you're vulnerable as well. You just left the domestic
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  violence situation and then you end up with a narcissist and
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  then this narcissist doesn't hit you, but they still abuse you.
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  It's rough, man. It's so damn rough.
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  It absolutely is when you're trying to go, when you're going
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  through this type of stuff and you're trying to make things
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  work and you're trying to make sense of it all, make sense of
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  your life, make sense of your healing.
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  It is extremely rough to do, man, especially when you trying
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  to be out here trusting and healing and growing and you find
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  somebody out here that's predatory, right?
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  Narcissists are predators. So it makes sense that
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  narcissists go after vulnerable people.
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  They're predators. They have, like a lot of
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  narcissists have this predatory mindset will leave you a
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  narcissist. That means you're predator too.
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  I have been predatory sometimes, right?
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  Like I got to the point, of course, I'm married right now,
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  but I even got to the point where I would see people, people
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  in vulnerable situations. Well, I wouldn't deal with them,
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  right? Because I felt bad for them.
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  I would feel bad for people in a vulnerable situation, not just
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  like hanging. I'm not trying to take advantage
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  of you. Now, could I?
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  Absolutely. Yes.
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  I could take advantage of you. Yeah.
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  But I'm not doing that. There are some people out there
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  who will see you in a vulnerable, vulnerable position
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  and look at you like you like you prime grade A beef.
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  Like I'm about to get that filet mignon.
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  I'm about to get that wabi. You look like you.
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  Like you look like empathetic Wagyu.
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  You look like empathetic Wagyu beef.
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  They come in to get you. You prime.
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  You prime slice and they come in to get you because you right now
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  you're vulnerable. You might not deal.
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  You might if you weren't in this vulnerable position, chances are
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  you might not have dealt with this narcissistic person because
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  I've talked to some successful people who have outside of this
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  or have the happiest lives or doing well for themselves, like
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  doing well for themselves outside, outside of this
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  addiction. And they meet pretty much a bum
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  in a a or a bum in NA or you made a bum when you're trying to
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  heal from domestic violence. And this person you normally
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  would have overlooked seems appealing to you right now
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  because they're there for you, right?
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  They're being there for you in this moment, in your moment of
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  need. So it seems appealing to you
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  right now to keep this person around, to have this person
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  around and whatnot. So a lot of times this is what
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  ends up happening. This is what ends up going on.
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  They will come to you, appeal to your sentences and do this like
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  you normally wouldn't have went for somebody like this.
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  But because they're appealing to you right now, you go for them,
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  you deal with them, you marry them, you start sleeping with
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  them, you give them money, they move in with you.
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  Y'all live together. You say it.
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  This happened so much, man. It really does.
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  And it sucks because it happens to some good people.
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  Y'all are just some, a lot of y'all are just good people that
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  are trying to heal. And then you get a predator
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  that's in the that's the predator.
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  A wolf in sheep's clothing. Literally the wolf in sheep
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  clothing that comes in here and just becomes a predator.
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  It hunts you out, does damage to you, does harm to you, treats
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  you horribly and doesn't feel bad about doing it.
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  Moves on to the next person, comes in, comes into your life,
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  sweeps into your life like a Wrecking Ball, ruins your damn
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  life, and then leaves like nothing.
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  Leaves like nothing happened. They leave like nothing
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  happened, like they leave like they didn't do anything wrong to
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  you and they leave you. A lot of times they leave you
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  more broken than what they first met you at, right?
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  You take a step back. These relationships make you
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  take a step back in healing for whatever you're healing from.
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  So Joe, this is important right here.
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  Y'all, and I'll leave y'all with this.
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  Take your time. When you're going through
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  something, when you feel like you're in a vulnerable state,
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  you're leaving a toxic relationship.
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  So I somebody just passed away like you're grieving, you're an
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  addict or recovering addict. You're in recovery of some sort.
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  You leave in a domestic violence situation.
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  Don't just start dating right now.
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  Take your time, take your time. You have to be OK with yourself
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  because if you're not OK being by yourself, you will let this
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  predator in your life and they will become predatory.
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  They, these predators will be predatory and it will take you
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  on up out of here. They will treat you horribly.
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  They will put you through the wringer.
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  They will do a lot of damage to you physically, mentally,
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  emotionally, they'll do a lot of harm to you all.
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  That's why it's important right now.
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  If you're going through something, if you think, if you
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  even think you're in a vulnerable situation, take your
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  time dating y'all seriously anyway, y'all, they always
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  reaching to the end of this video.
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  Y'all hit the subscribe button, y'all, I'm out.
• 12:17
  Peace.