Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / Finding a Mentor as a Working Parent
Transcript
- Lucas: So Luna, here's a number that stuck with me from a recent LinkedIn survey: 60 percent of working parents say they have less access to informal mentorship than their colleagues without kids. That hallway chat or coffee catch-up just isn't in their calendar. Luna: That stat hits hard. I remember when my niece had her first baby and went back to work—she said the biggest loss wasn't sleep, it was those spontaneous conversations with senior leaders. Lucas: Exactly. And those informal moments are often where real mentorship starts. So today I want to talk about how working parents can intentionally find mentors even when their schedule is packed. It's not about more hours—it's about different tactics. Luna: Okay, I'm all ears. What's the first shift in mindset? Lucas: First, stop trying to replicate the traditional mentor relationship. The classic model—monthly coffee chats, long lunches, career deep dives—assumes flexibility most parents don't have. Instead, think micro-mentorship: shorter, more focused interactions. Luna: Micro-mentorship. I like that. Like five-minute chats instead of hour-long sit-downs? Lucas: Exactly. Or even asynchronous—a thoughtful email, a recorded voice memo, a quick Slack message. The key is to ask a specific, actionable question. For example, 'I'm preparing for a negotiation next week. What's one tactic you'd recommend?' That's low effort for the mentor but still valuable. Luna: So it's about quality of ask, not quantity of time. That actually feels more respectful of both people's calendars. Lucas: Right. And the second shift is to look for mentors in unexpected places. Parents often assume their mentor has to be someone senior in their own chain of command. But some of the best mentors for working parents are other parents who are a few steps ahead. Luna: That makes sense. They've already navigated the same logistical maze. Lucas: Exactly. A senior manager who also has kids can give you advice on things like boundary-setting, time-blocking, or how to handle a school call during a client meeting. That kind of peer empathy is hard to get from someone without kids. Luna: So where do you find those people? Company resource groups? Lucas: Absolutely. Many companies have parent affinity groups or working parent networks. That's a goldmine. But also external—LinkedIn groups, industry associations, even local parenting meetups. The common thread is shared context, not just shared job title. Luna: I've heard some parents swear by 'mentor triads' or small peer groups. Three or four working parents who meet biweekly to trade advice. Lucas: That's a great example. And it scales better—you're not relying on one person's availability. Plus, you get diverse perspectives. I read a case study about a working mom at a Fortune 500 company who built her own informal board of advisors: a peer from her parent group, a former boss she met quarterly, and a retired executive who did email-only mentoring. She called it her 'lifeline panel.' Luna: That's smart. And it probably reduced the pressure on any single relationship. Lucas: Exactly. Which brings me to the third shift: redefining what a mentor looks like. We often think of mentors as older, wiser, and formal. But for a working parent, a mentor can be a peer who's six months ahead, or a former colleague who sends you articles. It's about value, not hierarchy. Luna: I think that's freeing for a lot of listeners. You don't need to find the one perfect guru. Lucas: And if we've helped you think through a career move or decision, we hope you'll consider supporting the show. It's listener support that keeps us ad-free and focused on real advice. You can do that at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Luna: Yeah, even a small contribution helps us keep producing episodes that dive into these practical challenges. Lucas: So back to strategies. Another powerful tactic is to leverage your existing network in a structured way. Instead of hoping for a chance encounter, schedule a recurring fifteen-minute video call with someone you admire. Call it a 'walk and talk'—take the call while pushing a stroller or walking to daycare. Luna: Walking meetings are underrated. I've had some of my best conversations while moving. Lucas: Totally. And if you're worried about being interrupted by a toddler, just set clear expectations: 'I may need to pause if my kid wakes up, but I value your time.' Most people understand. Luna: What about the confidence factor? Some parents—especially moms—feel guilty for taking time away from family for career development. Lucas: That's real. And the antidote is to reframe mentorship not as selfish but as strategic. When you grow, your family benefits—better income, more flexibility, stronger role modeling. So you're doing it for them too. Luna: That's a powerful reframe. So, concrete next step for a listener who has a packed day: what's one action they can take tonight? Lucas: Open LinkedIn, search for a working parent group in your industry, and send a connection request to one person with a note. Something like, 'I'm a working parent in marketing, and I see you've navigated this path. Would love to learn from your experience if you ever have ten minutes.' That's it. Low friction, high potential. Luna: And if they say no or don't respond? Lucas: Then you move on. Rejection is part of the process. But the data shows most people are flattered to be asked. And remember, you're not looking for a lifelong commitment—just one valuable conversation. Luna: Good point. I'm thinking about the asymmetry: the perceived burden is often greater than the actual burden. Lucas: Exactly. And as we wrap up, I want to share one more stat: a 2024 study from Catalyst found that working parents with a mentor were 25 percent more likely to be promoted within two years. So the effort pays off. Luna: That's a motivating number. So the takeaway is: shift to micro-mentorship, seek peer parents, build a small advisory board, and schedule intentional short interactions. It's doable. Lucas: Exactly. And if you're a working parent who's found a mentor in an unconventional way, we'd love to hear your story. You can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo—that's where we hang out and where listeners share their tips. Luna: Yeah, I'd love to feature a listener's story in a future episode. So please reach out. Lucas: Till next time, keep building those connections—even if they only last five minutes.