Latest / DA CREW Podcast / Da Crew Podcast Season 3 Believe in the journey w Triveda Harris

Transcript

Da Crew Podcast Season 3 Believe in the journey w Triveda Harris · DA CREW Podcast

0:59
Speaker 1: Gentlemen, I have your attention. Peace. The show starts it
1:10
Speaker 1: right seven six shoot.
1:26
Speaker 2: Cool, good evening, and welcome to Believe in the Journey Podcast,
1:31
Speaker 2: Season three. Listen you guys, it is about to be
1:35
Speaker 2: a wonderful season. I'm glad that you've taken the time
1:39
Speaker 2: to come and join us. Even though it's Super Bowl Sunday.
1:42
Speaker 2: I know a lot of you want to watch that game,
1:44
Speaker 2: but I thank you for coming in and tuning in. Tonight.
1:47
Speaker 2: I have a wonderful guest, Ms. Banbi Lan and we're
1:51
Speaker 2: gonna be talking about how she decided to really stop
1:55
Speaker 2: running from her purpose and to start walking in her purpose.
1:58
Speaker 2: But before we bring her, let's go to God in prayer.
2:02
Speaker 2: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us together as
2:04
Speaker 2: you do each and every time. Without you, there is nothing.
2:09
Speaker 2: Everything that we do is for you. Let the words
2:12
Speaker 2: of my mouth hit the ears that need to hear.
2:15
Speaker 2: Let the message that is going to be delivered tonight
2:18
Speaker 2: fall upon the ears that need to hear, even if
2:21
Speaker 2: they are not watching or listening to us live, if
2:24
Speaker 2: they're listening to the replay, let them get what they
2:27
Speaker 2: need from this conversation, because you will be all through
2:31
Speaker 2: each and every word that we speak tonight. I thank
2:34
Speaker 2: you for your presence. I thank you for your grace,
2:36
Speaker 2: I thank you for your coverage, and I thank you
2:38
Speaker 2: for your blessings in every way things that are seen
2:42
Speaker 2: and unseen. You are the will and the way of
2:46
Speaker 2: everything that we do in this life. And I thank
2:48
Speaker 2: you for this moment and your precious and holy name Jesus.
2:51
Speaker 2: I pray amen. All right, you guys, I'm going to
2:57
Speaker 2: have Miss vanby Lean come up and we're gonna talk.
3:03
Speaker 2: I'm excited. This is season three. Oh my gosh, hey.
3:09
Speaker 3: Miss Baby, well hello.
3:11
Speaker 4: I thought that Abraham and Moses were doing the countdown
3:15
Speaker 4: a second ago.
3:18
Speaker 2: It sounded like it. It was so cool. We got
3:22
Speaker 2: a new what is that, We got a new platform,
3:26
Speaker 2: and I swear this thing is so amazing and I
3:29
Speaker 2: like it. Everything so crystal clear, Like it looks like
3:33
Speaker 2: I got perfect skin right now, and I really don't
3:37
Speaker 2: because I got a couple of little blemishes over here,
3:39
Speaker 2: but you can't really see them. So that makes this
3:42
Speaker 2: thing make me look awesome right now?
3:44
Speaker 4: There you go, I know, and my hair is all
3:47
Speaker 4: wind blown, just like they were just talking beforehand.
3:49
Speaker 3: I went to go hold Highland cows all after.
3:54
Speaker 2: But that sounds like it was a fun thing to do.
3:57
Speaker 2: I know, if there was something like that here, I
4:00
Speaker 2: would definitely take my granddaughter to do that.
4:04
Speaker 4: Go ahead, now, I'm just saying it was a lot
4:07
Speaker 4: of fun. It was hot, though, And so my hair
4:09
Speaker 4: doesn't you know, molemishes.
4:12
Speaker 3: I'm my hair hair.
4:15
Speaker 2: Listen. I told you I just added a couple of
4:17
Speaker 2: little curls beforehand. Earlier today I had on a baseball
4:21
Speaker 2: cap and this side of my hair was doing something.
4:24
Speaker 2: I don't even know what it was doing. I had
4:25
Speaker 2: something going on, So I was like, yeah, I don't
4:28
Speaker 2: want to scare my guests tonight, so let me do
4:31
Speaker 2: a little something to it so that she's not frightened away.
4:36
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't get scared. I only got scared.
4:38
Speaker 4: Of that countdown, you know, from those forham That was
4:42
Speaker 4: the only thing I got pregnant about.
4:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a very deep voice on there. I'm not sure,
4:48
Speaker 2: but it was definitely a deep one. Now, I want
4:51
Speaker 2: to ask you to give a little bit of background
4:55
Speaker 2: about yourself, and then I'm gonna start asking you some questions.
4:58
Speaker 4: You sure kind Well, I am a mom of six
5:03
Speaker 4: adult children, they're all married, living on their own. I
5:06
Speaker 4: have I done un called twin boys and then four daughters.
5:11
Speaker 4: I am thirteen amazing grandchildren. I do have one grandson
5:15
Speaker 4: that found himself in the arms of Jesus hours.
5:20
Speaker 3: After he was born. Are you know? Mary Darling? Isaac?
5:23
Speaker 4: And I am an author. I'm a published author twice returned,
5:28
Speaker 4: and I have another one coming out called The God
5:32
Speaker 4: Who Sees in June and Lagger. I'm a woman of
5:36
Speaker 4: influence and I'm an amazing storyteller. God has shown me
5:40
Speaker 4: how to use my life experiences and my life mishaps,
5:45
Speaker 4: you know, to be able to tell the story of
5:47
Speaker 4: His grace and his love.
5:49
Speaker 2: And that's amazing. One question that I want to ask, like,
5:53
Speaker 2: when you sent me the message of wanting to be
5:56
Speaker 2: a guest on the show, you said that it took
5:58
Speaker 2: you thirty two years to the name that you were given.
6:03
Speaker 2: Why did it take so long?
6:05
Speaker 4: Well, my name is Bamby, so that you know it
6:15
Speaker 4: was not a name that is popular. It is it
6:19
Speaker 4: has different meanings by different people. I think when women
6:24
Speaker 4: think of my name they go, oh, that cute little
6:26
Speaker 4: Disney dear. You know, when men think of my name
6:29
Speaker 4: they say oh, where's your business card?
6:31
Speaker 3: I'd love to.
6:31
Speaker 4: See you go dance tonight. So it has two different,
6:35
Speaker 4: you know, opposite extremes of what my name means.
6:38
Speaker 3: When I was a little girl.
6:40
Speaker 4: I didn't like my name at all. I was bullied
6:42
Speaker 4: a lot. Plus we were poor, we didn't have.
6:44
Speaker 3: A lot of money.
6:45
Speaker 4: So then it add a different kind of name on
6:47
Speaker 4: top of that. When I did accept Christ as my savior,
6:51
Speaker 4: I did get mad the fact because I knew that
6:55
Speaker 4: Scriptures said that he knew me from the foundations of time,
6:57
Speaker 4: and he called me by name.
6:59
Speaker 3: So I always.
7:00
Speaker 4: Wondered, why would a god call me that, you know,
7:04
Speaker 4: So it was very difficult. I had been married and
7:07
Speaker 4: neither one of my husbands would ever call me by name.
7:11
Speaker 4: I was picked on a lot. And just like I said,
7:13
Speaker 4: if I went anywhere and somebody knew said what my
7:15
Speaker 4: name was, knew what my name was, you know, they
7:17
Speaker 4: would make the comments. You know, women would go, oh,
7:19
Speaker 4: that's such a cute little Disney name, and go, oh, well, where's.
7:23
Speaker 3: Your business card? You know. So it just by the
7:26
Speaker 3: time I turned thirty.
7:26
Speaker 4: Two years old, I had kind of like had it
7:29
Speaker 4: and I realized that you could change your name. I
7:31
Speaker 4: didn't know that you could legally change your name, and
7:34
Speaker 4: I found out that you could. So I was going
7:37
Speaker 4: to change my name to Janet. And it took It
7:40
Speaker 4: was going to cost me eight hundred dollars. But every
7:42
Speaker 4: time I had a problem with God, every time that
7:45
Speaker 4: I had an issue with God, I would go to
7:46
Speaker 4: the water and I would sit on this rock and
7:49
Speaker 4: I would have this discussion with God. You know, okay, God,
7:52
Speaker 4: you know, why in the world would you ever name
7:54
Speaker 4: me somebody bamba?
7:56
Speaker 2: You knew me.
7:56
Speaker 3: My mother just called my name out. You already named
7:59
Speaker 3: me that.
8:00
Speaker 4: And I went back and forth and had a kind
8:02
Speaker 4: of like a stern, intense conversation with God.
8:05
Speaker 3: And I finally told him.
8:07
Speaker 4: I said, I'm going to leave this place and I'm
8:10
Speaker 4: going to go to a bookstore and if my name
8:12
Speaker 4: is not written inside of a book, the meaning of
8:15
Speaker 4: my name, I'm changing my name to Janet. Because I
8:17
Speaker 4: didn't there's no meaning either to my name. So I
8:19
Speaker 4: didn't even know who I was, you know, was I
8:22
Speaker 4: you know?
8:23
Speaker 3: Was I a deer? Was I cute? Or was I
8:25
Speaker 3: a dancer?
8:25
Speaker 1: What?
8:25
Speaker 3: You know? What was I?
8:27
Speaker 2: You know?
8:28
Speaker 4: So I went to the bookstore and I laid out
8:29
Speaker 4: all the books on the table and I put my
8:31
Speaker 4: name in black on a piece of paper, Bambi Lind.
8:34
Speaker 4: And then I realized, oh my goodness, I just gave
8:36
Speaker 4: got an ultimatum, like, okay, who does that?
8:40
Speaker 2: You know that don't work at all.
8:43
Speaker 4: So the first book that I looked into, my name
8:46
Speaker 4: wasn't in there. The second time, the second book that
8:48
Speaker 4: I opened up, my name was there. And that was
8:51
Speaker 4: the first time and forever that I've ever saw the
8:54
Speaker 4: meaning of my name. And my name is Bambi Lynn.
8:57
Speaker 4: My name my first name is Bamby, my middle name
8:59
Speaker 4: is Lynn. And you put the name together and it
9:01
Speaker 4: means holy child.
9:03
Speaker 2: See God already knew why.
9:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I you know, it was a revelation to me.
9:09
Speaker 2: It was.
9:10
Speaker 4: It was a lot of baggage lifted off off of me.
9:13
Speaker 4: It was a lot of bondage lifted off of me.
9:16
Speaker 4: I walked when I wrote my name. You know I'm
9:19
Speaker 4: in big old letters. You know, God also wrote my
9:22
Speaker 4: name and he said, I want you, I want to
9:24
Speaker 4: remind you that you are my holy child and that
9:27
Speaker 4: I've set you apart. And I walked out of that
9:30
Speaker 4: bookstore a totally new person.
9:33
Speaker 3: I knew Christ.
9:33
Speaker 4: I've been saved since I was sixteen, but there was
9:35
Speaker 4: something that happened withinside of me that I now had
9:39
Speaker 4: an identity. I now knew that God did name me
9:44
Speaker 4: for the foundations of time, and he did give me
9:46
Speaker 4: a purpose, and he did give me a destiny, and
9:48
Speaker 4: now it was time for me to walk in it.
9:51
Speaker 2: And that's definitely why I named like reading your bio. Like,
9:55
Speaker 2: when I ask people to send the bio, they don't
9:58
Speaker 2: understand why I'm asking is not just to get a background,
10:02
Speaker 2: It's to get a sense of the topic of what
10:06
Speaker 2: we're gonna talk about. And I've had so many people
10:09
Speaker 2: they're like, I don't think that goes with and I'm like,
10:13
Speaker 2: if you read your own bio from a different perspective,
10:17
Speaker 2: you'll understand why I do it that way. And so
10:22
Speaker 2: I have one lady she was like, well, I thought
10:24
Speaker 2: your podcast was about overcoming tryumphs and struggles and things,
10:31
Speaker 2: and I said, it is. It definitely is those things. However,
10:36
Speaker 2: there was a process in order for you to get there.
10:39
Speaker 2: You just didn't arrive at the destination. So you got
10:43
Speaker 2: to give me what you went through so that we
10:46
Speaker 2: can arrive at that destination.
10:48
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
10:50
Speaker 2: We have a couple of people that are at the
10:53
Speaker 2: bottom that are talking about how they struggle with their
10:56
Speaker 2: own names. And my name is a unique name. I
11:02
Speaker 2: have no idea where my mama or my daddy got
11:04
Speaker 2: this name from, and so people mispronounce it all the time.
11:08
Speaker 2: That's one of the main issues why I give people
11:11
Speaker 2: a really cheesy analogy to help them remember or how
11:15
Speaker 2: to pronounce it. And the analogy is when I say
11:18
Speaker 2: it's cheesy, I really mean it, and that is Velveda.
11:22
Speaker 3: Like the cheese tel Vita.
11:23
Speaker 2: Tel Vito is Trevita. So people I tell you that,
11:29
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's very cheesy. You definitely remember how to
11:33
Speaker 2: say Trevida. It's not hard, it's not complicated, but it
11:36
Speaker 2: is cheesy and you won't forget it.
11:39
Speaker 3: So that's awesome. That is awesome.
11:41
Speaker 4: And I do tell women when I do events and
11:46
Speaker 4: I go and speak, you know, to women, I do
11:48
Speaker 4: tell them to look up their name, to find their names,
11:52
Speaker 4: find their identity, because if you don't know your identity,
11:55
Speaker 4: if you don't know your purpose, you can't walk into
11:58
Speaker 4: your destiny.
12:00
Speaker 3: Destiny to walk into you know.
12:01
Speaker 4: There's no mistakes, you know, our lives even in our lives.
12:05
Speaker 4: You know, there's no mistakes, and the traumas that we
12:07
Speaker 4: have gone through, the difficulties we have gone through, the
12:10
Speaker 4: families that we have been born into, there is no mistake.
12:13
Speaker 4: But what it does for us, it continues to lead
12:17
Speaker 4: our trauma not to a death sentence, but to a life.
12:20
Speaker 3: Of prosperity sentence.
12:22
Speaker 2: Exactly.
12:23
Speaker 4: People don't understand. We stay in our trauma. And my
12:27
Speaker 4: name was trauma to me. It you know, I had
12:30
Speaker 4: husbands that would never call me by name, you know,
12:33
Speaker 4: and I had people that had that put on, they
12:38
Speaker 4: on a characteristic of my name that you know, when
12:41
Speaker 4: I was a kid and in my teenage lives, yeah
12:44
Speaker 4: age world, you know, I lived that, I lived some
12:48
Speaker 4: the names that they called me because I didn't know
12:51
Speaker 4: my identity. But when you know your identity, and I
12:54
Speaker 4: tell women all the time, you know, I will have
12:56
Speaker 4: a class that I will have index cards and and
13:01
Speaker 4: colorful kraons or markers, and then I will have name
13:05
Speaker 4: books there and I have those women look up their names,
13:08
Speaker 4: look up the connotation of their name, look up the
13:10
Speaker 4: verse of their name. You know why, And then you
13:13
Speaker 4: begin to start thinking why and stand in his presence
13:17
Speaker 4: to understand His goodness of why exactly that you were
13:21
Speaker 4: named and that's an identity and you know, and sometimes
13:24
Speaker 4: that's an identity crisis. It is to find their identity
13:28
Speaker 4: and that you have to find your identity in Christ.
13:30
Speaker 3: And then you have to find your.
13:31
Speaker 4: Identity within yourself of who am I? Who does He
13:36
Speaker 4: say I am? And it changes your perspective. It starts
13:40
Speaker 4: you on the journey of understanding your purpose.
13:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, one thing I can say for me is learning
13:49
Speaker 2: how to walk in my purpose. It has been a
13:52
Speaker 2: journey because I literally have ran from doing these types
13:58
Speaker 2: of things out in the front talking to people. But
14:03
Speaker 2: I realized a few years ago that my purpose is
14:08
Speaker 2: to connect each other through our experiences, but to know
14:13
Speaker 2: that God has always been included in all of those things.
14:18
Speaker 2: God has never left us. It is us who have
14:21
Speaker 2: left Him and stop listening for Him in our lives,
14:24
Speaker 2: because that's that free will that we have. And so
14:27
Speaker 2: when we are trying so hard and so desperate to
14:33
Speaker 2: not seek him, he is gonna do what he does
14:37
Speaker 2: all along. He knows our purpose that He has for us.
14:41
Speaker 2: It was already written before we even knew anything about ourselves.
14:47
Speaker 2: And so when we start trying to go against that,
14:51
Speaker 2: we end up down a road that God didn't plan
14:55
Speaker 2: for us. But the destination always leads back to him.
14:59
Speaker 2: If your patient and understanding that God is not going
15:03
Speaker 2: to put you in a situation that He's not going
15:05
Speaker 2: to provide a way out, and sometimes we get lost
15:10
Speaker 2: and we want to just keep going astray, and God
15:14
Speaker 2: is like, Okay, I'm gonna let you go for so long,
15:16
Speaker 2: but I'm going to reroute you to the destination of
15:19
Speaker 2: what you have been created and finding that purpose through
15:23
Speaker 2: those traumatic experiences and it allows you. Like I tell
15:27
Speaker 2: people all the time, don't be ashamed of what you've
15:29
Speaker 2: experienced in this life because someone else needs to see
15:34
Speaker 2: God's presence in what you overcame. So if you're gonna
15:39
Speaker 2: be ashamed of what you went through, how can you
15:42
Speaker 2: honor God and give him the glory if you don't
15:44
Speaker 2: acknowledge what you went through. Don't hide the trauma, because
15:51
Speaker 2: the trauma is God's way of showing I instilled all
15:55
Speaker 2: of the things that you were gonna need to get
15:57
Speaker 2: through this. Acknowledge me and I will continue to walk
16:01
Speaker 2: with you. I will keep you covered in everything that
16:03
Speaker 2: you're going through and I think walking in purpose. There
16:09
Speaker 2: are a lot of people right now who are lost.
16:12
Speaker 2: They don't know what their purpose is. They don't know
16:15
Speaker 2: how to ask God how do I find out who
16:22
Speaker 2: I am? And the exercises that I think that you
16:25
Speaker 2: do are helping by that name, because we can be
16:31
Speaker 2: called many things, and I know sometimes I have been
16:33
Speaker 2: called everything except the child of God, you know, because
16:36
Speaker 2: you meet those people and they don't like whatever it is.
16:40
Speaker 2: They may not like to choose you war that day,
16:43
Speaker 2: and they may not like the shirt that you got
16:45
Speaker 2: on or whatever. But whatever their crazy little reason is
16:49
Speaker 2: for not liking you does not signify God's calling on
16:55
Speaker 2: your life and his presence within your life. So I
16:59
Speaker 2: want people to understand that if God has you, and
17:03
Speaker 2: if you decide to walk with him, He's gonna let
17:07
Speaker 2: your name be spoken in ways that you never even imagine,
17:11
Speaker 2: because there's glory that's attached to your.
17:13
Speaker 4: Name, absolutely absolutely, and you know, and you've said a
17:18
Speaker 4: whole lot, you know, you know, and that whole thing.
17:22
Speaker 4: So I just wanted to kind of like, you know,
17:24
Speaker 4: decipher it and tear it apart a little bit too.
17:27
Speaker 4: You know, your name is so important, and I think
17:30
Speaker 4: that sometimes I'm not sure if so many people actually
17:35
Speaker 4: walk away from God the way that we think they do.
17:39
Speaker 4: I think that life is so hard and until somebody
17:43
Speaker 4: told me one time, until you understand Jesus your brother,
17:47
Speaker 4: You're never going to understand God, your father, because some
17:50
Speaker 4: of us have come from so much trauma, and a
17:54
Speaker 4: lot of the trauma that we have experienced have come
17:56
Speaker 4: from man. Figures have come from leadership, have come from
18:01
Speaker 4: fathers and uncles and grandfathers.
18:03
Speaker 3: You know, people that we trusted in, you know.
18:06
Speaker 4: And so it such reminds me of the book called
18:09
Speaker 4: the Shack, you know, when he went when Mac had
18:13
Speaker 4: to go to the have you ever read this shack? Okay,
18:18
Speaker 4: so when Mac had to go to the cabin, you know,
18:22
Speaker 4: God represented woman first, you know, because he needed the
18:27
Speaker 4: comfort of a woman. He needed the comfort of a
18:29
Speaker 4: mother until it got hard that he then needed the
18:33
Speaker 4: comfort of a father, because God is.
18:35
Speaker 3: Male and female.
18:36
Speaker 4: And when I saw that movie, it resonated to me,
18:41
Speaker 4: and it resonated so deeply to me because it's kind
18:44
Speaker 4: of like when the Holy Spirit took him to the
18:46
Speaker 4: garden and Mac was so mad that the garden looked
18:48
Speaker 4: a mass. You know, all these weeds over and all
18:52
Speaker 4: over the place, and you know, and he's like, how
18:54
Speaker 4: can this be glorified?
18:55
Speaker 3: And she just said, just wait. You know, at the
18:57
Speaker 3: end of.
18:58
Speaker 4: The movie, you know, that guard and changed, that garden
19:01
Speaker 4: was put together. And I think that that's our relationship
19:04
Speaker 4: with Jesus and our relationship with God is that it's
19:07
Speaker 4: a journey. It's a faith journey, and sometimes we fail
19:10
Speaker 4: at the faith, sometimes fall down at the faith. You know,
19:14
Speaker 4: our lives have been so broken and in pieces, and
19:20
Speaker 4: until we understand what Christ really did for us at
19:22
Speaker 4: the cross, and that what those scars represented that he carried,
19:27
Speaker 4: you know, for each and every one of.
19:28
Speaker 3: Us, we all have scars.
19:30
Speaker 2: You know.
19:31
Speaker 4: Just recently, when I was in my late twenties, I
19:34
Speaker 4: was thinking was twenty four.
19:36
Speaker 3: It was in nineteen ninety three. I had a pressure
19:38
Speaker 3: canner blew up on me.
19:40
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, and a pressure canner is what you
19:43
Speaker 4: can with while I have scahetti sauce inside that pressure canner,
19:47
Speaker 4: and something happened to the pressure and the whole spaghetti
19:52
Speaker 4: sauce blew up in my face, in my ex husband's face,
19:55
Speaker 4: on my breast and things like that, and they had
19:58
Speaker 4: to take me to the burn unit, and I was
20:00
Speaker 4: there for seventeen days. In five of those days they
20:03
Speaker 4: would put, you know, bring me inside of this room
20:06
Speaker 4: that they would put me on this metal this metal bed,
20:09
Speaker 4: and tie my hands and fill me with morphine and
20:13
Speaker 4: scrub my breast, scrub it until they couldn't scrub it anymore.
20:17
Speaker 4: And after five days, they finally said, you know what,
20:19
Speaker 4: we can't scrub this anymore. This is really devastating and
20:23
Speaker 4: hurting this woman. Let's put on new skin. And I
20:27
Speaker 4: think that that's what, you know, it's such a representation
20:29
Speaker 4: of what Christ does in our own lives. You know,
20:32
Speaker 4: there are some things that we have been so broken,
20:35
Speaker 4: we have been so traumatized by some things in our
20:38
Speaker 4: lives that you know, we're going through the scrubbing process,
20:40
Speaker 4: we're going through the healing process.
20:42
Speaker 3: And then finally, you know, God rubs his hand on
20:45
Speaker 3: our forehead and said, you know what, let's give her
20:47
Speaker 3: new skin, snake her new.
20:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's make her new.
20:51
Speaker 3: You know, let's let's let's just make her new. And
20:54
Speaker 3: you know, and I love that. I don't like the
20:57
Speaker 3: fact that I went through that, but I love the illustration.
21:00
Speaker 4: That God has given me today for him for me
21:03
Speaker 4: to know that sometimes you're scrubbed and sometimes you get
21:10
Speaker 4: new skin. Yes, it depends on your personality, depends on
21:14
Speaker 4: what he can do. It depends on how the peeling
21:17
Speaker 4: of the onion is happening within our own lives. But
21:20
Speaker 4: all of us have choices, all of us have. There
21:22
Speaker 4: is none of us are going to leave this earth
21:24
Speaker 4: with no trauma.
21:25
Speaker 3: There's nothing. They're going to leave this earth with those scars,
21:28
Speaker 3: you know, those scars and that trauma.
21:30
Speaker 4: Just like we said earlier, I believe those scars and
21:33
Speaker 4: those trauma is not a death sentence.
21:36
Speaker 3: It is a sentence that my story.
21:38
Speaker 4: I sell t shirts on my on my website that
21:41
Speaker 4: says my story your first aid kit. That's what my
21:44
Speaker 4: story's for. My story was not meant for me to
21:47
Speaker 4: continue to tell it over and over and over and
21:50
Speaker 4: over again. I mean, we know those kind of people
21:53
Speaker 4: when we go into ruin that they only talk about
21:56
Speaker 4: the trauma, they only talk about and then after you
21:59
Speaker 4: finally like like gradually walking away, you know, further and
22:02
Speaker 4: further away because you know you don't want to hear
22:04
Speaker 4: it anymore. Our stories are not meant for us to
22:07
Speaker 4: be in a room and take over the room. Our
22:09
Speaker 4: stories are meant, our trauma is meant to bring us
22:12
Speaker 4: to the door, and then the door gets open and
22:14
Speaker 4: the lessons go.
22:16
Speaker 3: Into the room, but our trauma stays behind.
22:19
Speaker 4: Because we all have it. There isn't There isn't many
22:22
Speaker 4: women that haven't been sexually abused or raped, or in
22:25
Speaker 4: domestic violence or infidelity, or wanting to commit suicide. We
22:30
Speaker 4: all have those. But what are we going to do
22:31
Speaker 4: with it? It would be such a better thing that
22:36
Speaker 4: you know, when I wrote my story, the Journey of Josephine,
22:38
Speaker 4: and I got it published, and it came to my
22:42
Speaker 4: house the first time that I held my book in
22:44
Speaker 4: the palm of my hands, and I got to read
22:47
Speaker 4: my book, and I spent the whole night reading, you know,
22:49
Speaker 4: my story, and I cried and I wept, and I
22:53
Speaker 4: was in just in awe and in devastation and just
22:56
Speaker 4: in pain. But once I closed that book, I said,
22:59
Speaker 4: you know, that's not me anymore. But I find her now.
23:04
Speaker 4: I want to find that woman, and I want to
23:05
Speaker 4: give her the courage and I want to give her
23:07
Speaker 4: the bravery and the vulnerability to be able to write
23:10
Speaker 4: her story because I want to lock arms with her,
23:13
Speaker 4: because you have to stay in our trauma. I don't
23:16
Speaker 4: have to stay there, but I want, I want to
23:19
Speaker 4: now touch people exactly trauma, and I want to say
23:23
Speaker 4: we don't have to live there anymore.
23:25
Speaker 2: And I agree with you one hundred percent on that
23:29
Speaker 2: writing is a way of healing ourselves, especially when you
23:34
Speaker 2: write your story when like my trauma stills in still
23:40
Speaker 2: with not being raised by either parent. My mother was
23:44
Speaker 2: addicted to drugs and alcohol. My father wasn't present a lot,
23:49
Speaker 2: but it took a toll on being raised by family
23:55
Speaker 2: members who did not treat me the best in in
24:00
Speaker 2: so many ways. You know, it was I can give
24:04
Speaker 2: you everything that you need materialistically, but I'm going to
24:07
Speaker 2: tear you down mentally is one of those things. And
24:11
Speaker 2: that trauma I carried for a long time and then
24:16
Speaker 2: having some major health issues, I was like, God, listen,
24:20
Speaker 2: why am I going through all of this? And then
24:24
Speaker 2: I got tired of asking God why am I going
24:27
Speaker 2: through this? And I started asking him what is the
24:32
Speaker 2: lesson that I need to learn now so that I
24:35
Speaker 2: can actually walk into what it is that you have
24:38
Speaker 2: for me. I don't want to dwell on my yesterday anymore.
24:42
Speaker 2: I don't want to do that. But I know that
24:45
Speaker 2: I have to release this and I need to stop
24:48
Speaker 2: asking you why is this happening? But what is it
24:52
Speaker 2: that I can take from this and get to the
24:55
Speaker 2: next side? And God is He is a miracle worker
25:03
Speaker 2: in some ways, in more ways than I can even imagine,
25:07
Speaker 2: because my thing is with him. I know I get
25:10
Speaker 2: on his nerves sometimes because I talk to him all
25:12
Speaker 2: the time and I'm like, listen, some of these things
25:15
Speaker 2: that you have me doing and going out and God,
25:18
Speaker 2: I'm not sure you meant this for me, And He's
25:22
Speaker 2: like I did. I wouldn't put you in the space
25:25
Speaker 2: and what you're in, I wouldn't put you in the areas,
25:28
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't remove people if I didn't think they
25:31
Speaker 2: needed to be there with you anymore. And so learning
25:35
Speaker 2: to trust God and everything and put him first, and
25:39
Speaker 2: before I even do anything when I get up in
25:42
Speaker 2: the morning, that he's the first person that I talk to,
25:45
Speaker 2: and I'm always asking him to protect me and guide
25:48
Speaker 2: me and connect me to the people that he has
25:51
Speaker 2: for me and remove those people who are not connected
25:54
Speaker 2: to the person to the destiny that he has for me.
25:57
Speaker 2: Because sometimes we choose people well because they feel good
26:03
Speaker 2: to us for whatever reason.
26:07
Speaker 3: Trust yes.
26:09
Speaker 2: And I don't want people and the stage that I'm
26:12
Speaker 2: in in my life now, I don't want anybody to
26:15
Speaker 2: feel good to me. I want them to be good
26:18
Speaker 2: to me, you know, according to what God has for me.
26:22
Speaker 2: And I'm a loner most of the time. It's either myself,
26:27
Speaker 2: my kids, my best friend, and that I don't really
26:32
Speaker 2: have a lot of people that I genuinely care for
26:36
Speaker 2: and talk to on a daily basis. My circle is very,
26:39
Speaker 2: very small. But all of the people that I am
26:42
Speaker 2: connected to are connected to God in a way, and
26:46
Speaker 2: we continuously grow and build together through our love for Christ.
26:52
Speaker 2: And I am grateful that I have a prayer life,
26:57
Speaker 2: and I'm grateful for the fact that when I pray
27:01
Speaker 2: that prayer in the end of twenty nineteen was God,
27:05
Speaker 2: connect me to the people that are connected to the
27:07
Speaker 2: destiny and what you have for me, and remove those
27:10
Speaker 2: who are not and help me to be okay. Because
27:13
Speaker 2: sometimes we want to hold on to people just because
27:16
Speaker 2: of the history we have with them, and that history
27:20
Speaker 2: means nothing if it's toxic, if it's gonna keep you
27:24
Speaker 2: reliving the trauma that you've been trying so desperately to
27:28
Speaker 2: let go of and if you're not willing to trust
27:32
Speaker 2: God and say, God, I'm gonna give this person to you.
27:36
Speaker 2: I'm going to surrender this to you, and I'm going
27:38
Speaker 2: to not keep looking at the back door, but look
27:42
Speaker 2: at the front door and let him do what he
27:46
Speaker 2: needs to do. It's sometimes hard to do that, but
27:50
Speaker 2: I've learned that God is not going to place you
27:53
Speaker 2: in a space that he's not going to protect you from,
27:56
Speaker 2: and He's not going to allow any hurt, harm or
27:59
Speaker 2: danger to come to you if you trust him the
28:02
Speaker 2: way that you say that you do. And I think
28:05
Speaker 2: some people have a hard time surrendering their lives to
28:08
Speaker 2: God because they are still so caught up in people pleasing.
28:13
Speaker 2: Do you think that's one of the things that people
28:16
Speaker 2: have an issue with, surrendering over their walk to God
28:20
Speaker 2: with God.
28:21
Speaker 4: I just you know, when my kids, when my grandchildren
28:25
Speaker 4: wanted me to I'll use this as an example, when
28:28
Speaker 4: one of my grandsons wanted me to dress up as
28:30
Speaker 4: the Grinch.
28:32
Speaker 3: Okay, and I have no idea.
28:34
Speaker 4: I've never watched the movie The Grinch, so I didn't
28:36
Speaker 4: know how I acted, but I dressed the Grinch. You know,
28:39
Speaker 4: he wanted me to. He wanted me to take pictures
28:42
Speaker 4: with him dress up as the Grinch. I rode my
28:44
Speaker 4: bike around the neighborhood, knocked on people's doors, and I act,
28:48
Speaker 4: I tried acting like somebody that I didn't even know,
28:52
Speaker 4: you know, and I realized what a word picture.
28:55
Speaker 1: You know.
28:55
Speaker 3: What we do is what we do as Christians.
28:58
Speaker 4: We put on masks, and we put on costume that
29:00
Speaker 4: don't even belong to us, walking around with those costumes,
29:04
Speaker 4: and we're walking around with those masks thinking that we're
29:08
Speaker 4: we can be that person. But the problem is is
29:11
Speaker 4: that we really don't even know that person. I don't
29:13
Speaker 4: know the Grinch. I don't know how the Grinch acts.
29:16
Speaker 4: So here I'm pretending because I didn't want to really
29:20
Speaker 4: deal with who I was, you know. And I think
29:24
Speaker 4: the first thing that people need to do, and women especially,
29:27
Speaker 4: we need to take off our masks. We need to
29:30
Speaker 4: be able to take off our masks, take off our costumes.
29:33
Speaker 4: And in fact, you know, I was on a podcast
29:35
Speaker 4: the other day and I said one thing that is
29:38
Speaker 4: women we need to do, and it's a different and
29:40
Speaker 4: it's different.
29:41
Speaker 3: As you grow older, you know.
29:43
Speaker 4: Take our clothes off and stand in the mirror and
29:47
Speaker 4: see ourselves for how God sees us. You know, when
29:50
Speaker 4: we're in our twenties and our thirties, we're like, you know,
29:53
Speaker 4: we're looking, you know, all the imperfections. You know. I'm
29:55
Speaker 4: fifty five years old, and now I see those imperfect
30:00
Speaker 4: actions as blessings. When I see that my top half
30:04
Speaker 4: droops down with the gravity, I now can see and
30:08
Speaker 4: look at the story that I had the privilege to
30:10
Speaker 4: nursing six babies. There's the reason why they're drooped down
30:15
Speaker 4: and there's no gravity anymore, because I spent those years,
30:19
Speaker 4: you know, nursing babies in a rocking chair. When I
30:23
Speaker 4: see the stretch marks and the cellulite and the you know,
30:28
Speaker 4: and all of the scars, I can now see that
30:31
Speaker 4: I gave birth to twins. I cannot see the stories
30:35
Speaker 4: of the of the berths that I have been able
30:38
Speaker 4: to give. When I see the roly polies and the
30:41
Speaker 4: mushroom tops, I can see now the stories of the
30:44
Speaker 4: dinners that I have made for people that have said
30:47
Speaker 4: around my table. I cannot see the people that have
30:51
Speaker 4: been blessed because I invited them into my home. You
30:56
Speaker 4: begin to start when I see the scars, you know,
30:59
Speaker 4: on my breast because I have them burned. I can
31:01
Speaker 4: now see the story that God took me and he
31:05
Speaker 4: put a new covering over me. You know, so when
31:08
Speaker 4: we begin to start seeing things, and now I can
31:11
Speaker 4: see not only am beautiful from my body, but what
31:15
Speaker 4: God has done on the inside of us as women.
31:18
Speaker 4: And I think the older that we that we are,
31:21
Speaker 4: the more that we become. You know, I'm past forty,
31:24
Speaker 4: I'm into my fifties, and now I just have me.
31:28
Speaker 4: You know, I'm an empty I'm already an empty nester.
31:30
Speaker 4: I've already here to deal with the grief and the
31:32
Speaker 4: pain of being an empty nester and trying to figure
31:35
Speaker 4: out who am I without being a mommy? Who am
31:39
Speaker 4: I without being a homemaker? And then meaning to see
31:42
Speaker 4: the beauty you know that's within, But it starts with
31:46
Speaker 4: giving up the.
31:47
Speaker 3: Masks and and you know.
31:50
Speaker 4: I wrote a blog one time, is that how dare
31:53
Speaker 4: I say that God that I am ugly? When God,
31:57
Speaker 4: I am the only bambing. I'm the only one that
31:59
Speaker 4: carries fingerprint. There is nobody else. There is only one
32:03
Speaker 4: of me. So who am I comparing myself to if
32:05
Speaker 4: there's only one of me?
32:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm saying that it's better than me. I'm if
32:10
Speaker 3: I'm the only Bambie.
32:12
Speaker 2: Exactly, and that I'm not touching the world.
32:15
Speaker 3: If I'm the only Bambie.
32:16
Speaker 4: He created me for the spear, for this atmosphere, for this,
32:22
Speaker 4: he gave me the only fingerprint.
32:25
Speaker 3: Yes, here's a Bambie. So who am I judging myself to?
32:29
Speaker 2: Who are you comparing yourself to?
32:31
Speaker 4: Who am I comparing myself to? I can't compare myself
32:34
Speaker 4: to you because you have a different DNA than I do.
32:36
Speaker 4: You have a different fingerprint than I do. So why
32:39
Speaker 4: am I comparing? Why am I not just understanding that
32:42
Speaker 4: I've been fearfully and wonderfully made, that I've been molded
32:46
Speaker 4: in the palm of his hands. I have been on
32:49
Speaker 4: the potter's wheel, and he has taken me as clay,
32:52
Speaker 4: and he has made me whole, and he has chiseled
32:55
Speaker 4: me away.
32:56
Speaker 3: He has taken the life.
32:57
Speaker 4: He has taken the hurts and the pains of the
33:00
Speaker 4: life that have been burnt and then have been put
33:03
Speaker 4: down his ashes, and he has created something beautiful. Yes,
33:07
Speaker 4: he has done that, But yet I wanted to compare
33:10
Speaker 4: myself to other people, and my talents to other people
33:13
Speaker 4: when there's no comparison.
33:16
Speaker 3: I am it. I am the bam that's you know.
33:21
Speaker 4: And if we can hit and understand that and acknowledge
33:25
Speaker 4: that and know you know, one thing that I tell
33:28
Speaker 4: women all the time is that when you look at
33:31
Speaker 4: an oyster shell, an oyster shell is pretty beat up
33:34
Speaker 4: because it's beat up. It's gone through this dismay, It's
33:38
Speaker 4: gone through the parasites trying to sneak inside and pushing
33:42
Speaker 4: itself into the into the oyster it's back the hurricanes
33:46
Speaker 4: and the waves and the sand's been trying to push
33:48
Speaker 4: in and push in, and all of that created There
33:52
Speaker 4: was nothing inside of that oyster shell, nothing inside of
33:56
Speaker 4: that oyster cell until it has.
33:58
Speaker 3: Gone through something.
34:00
Speaker 4: And then when you open up the oyster show, you
34:02
Speaker 4: see this beautiful pearl that has been formed out of distress,
34:06
Speaker 4: this beautiful pearl that has been that has been formed
34:10
Speaker 4: out of heartache.
34:11
Speaker 3: And the bigger the pearl.
34:14
Speaker 2: The heart of the inertant in there. Yes, like that
34:18
Speaker 2: is such a happing.
34:19
Speaker 4: And knowing that a pearl is the only thing that
34:22
Speaker 4: when you put a pearl onto your chest, it takes
34:25
Speaker 4: your oils from you and and it lasts from generation
34:30
Speaker 4: to generation.
34:32
Speaker 2: Is what an.
34:33
Speaker 4: Amazing word picture on what God does into our lives.
34:37
Speaker 4: What an amazing thing that he takes our lives and
34:40
Speaker 4: he passes down the lessons and the turmoil and the
34:44
Speaker 4: falling down over and over again, and he takes it
34:46
Speaker 4: from generation to generation for our for my grandchildren and
34:50
Speaker 4: my great grandchildren to see that they're Nana, blessed God,
34:55
Speaker 4: that they're not help a whole lot, but my Nana
34:58
Speaker 4: kept getting back up. It's that's so amazing. If we
35:02
Speaker 4: would think about that, and if we would think about
35:04
Speaker 4: even the story. Let's let's even talk about you have butterflies.
35:07
Speaker 4: Let's talk about the story of the butterfly. When when
35:10
Speaker 4: a butterfly lands an egg on a milk weed, we'll
35:14
Speaker 4: talk about the monarch butterfly.
35:15
Speaker 3: That egg is a butterfly. That's a butterfly. But then it.
35:20
Speaker 4: Has to go through some stuff, yeah, you know, the
35:24
Speaker 4: metamorphos of it.
35:25
Speaker 3: It has to go through some stuff.
35:26
Speaker 2: It has to get all of that ooly gooiness.
35:30
Speaker 4: And it has to go through the shedding, yeah, the
35:32
Speaker 4: shedding shedding, and then it has to go into this crysalis.
35:36
Speaker 4: And you know, and I think that God, that's what
35:37
Speaker 4: God does to us. He puts us into this crystalist
35:40
Speaker 4: for us to be told over and over again, because
35:42
Speaker 4: the Bible tells us that we must renew our minds daily,
35:44
Speaker 4: So over and over again, when that butterfly, when that
35:47
Speaker 4: caterpillar is inside of that grystal, over and over again,
35:50
Speaker 4: you're really a butterfly.
35:52
Speaker 3: You're really a butterfly. You're really a butterfly.
35:54
Speaker 4: And the moment that that caterpillar understands and gets it,
35:59
Speaker 4: he emerges.
36:00
Speaker 2: Yes, Ye're beautiful and whole butterfly. Exactly. One thing I
36:08
Speaker 2: want to go back and touch on that you said
36:10
Speaker 2: is being able to see ourselves taking that moment. And
36:14
Speaker 2: this is something that I've been doing since two thousand
36:19
Speaker 2: and seven when I separated from my children's father and
36:23
Speaker 2: my ex husband, And that is the self inventory, basically
36:28
Speaker 2: the stripping down of all clothes and everything and standing
36:32
Speaker 2: in that mirror and looking at what I thought then
36:38
Speaker 2: were flaws and understanding what was good about me that
36:42
Speaker 2: I thought, what was bad about me that I thought
36:45
Speaker 2: the things that people had called me. Like I said,
36:48
Speaker 2: I ain't always been called a child of God. I've
36:50
Speaker 2: been called some other things by some folks, but even
36:55
Speaker 2: still understanding that God's image of me was never imperfect.
37:02
Speaker 2: It was always perfect from the day that I was
37:05
Speaker 2: conceived in my mother's womb, is that I was already perfect.
37:09
Speaker 2: And I've had to learn that there was nothing wrong
37:13
Speaker 2: with me, even when people doubted me and said that
37:16
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to be anything, that I was just
37:18
Speaker 2: going to be a drunk and an alcoholic and a
37:22
Speaker 2: drug addict, just like my mom those things. For a
37:25
Speaker 2: long time, I identified with that, and then I was like,
37:31
Speaker 2: I'm nothing like my mom, you know, I'm nothing like
37:35
Speaker 2: this woman. And so when people would come around and
37:38
Speaker 2: they'd be like, well, you're Alfrida's daughter, and I was like, yeah,
37:40
Speaker 2: don't say that too loud, you know, I was embarrassed.
37:44
Speaker 2: But then when I got to know my mom on
37:47
Speaker 2: a level, because I think we oftentime forget that our
37:50
Speaker 2: parents had lives before they had us, and so learning
37:55
Speaker 2: that my mother's history was not perfect. She went through
37:59
Speaker 2: some things as a child and as a teen and
38:02
Speaker 2: as a young adult, and having me when she was
38:05
Speaker 2: just a teenager was hard for her. And so when
38:09
Speaker 2: I identified with the broken pieces of her, were also
38:13
Speaker 2: the broken pieces of myself. And so learning to heal
38:18
Speaker 2: my broken pieces, and being with my mother before she
38:21
Speaker 2: transitioned over, I got to have that mending relationship and
38:28
Speaker 2: understanding that her hurt and her pain, she learned how
38:33
Speaker 2: to adjust, not necessarily say live, but she adjusted to
38:38
Speaker 2: her trauma, and she did make peace with God before
38:44
Speaker 2: she left here. Because my mother was never a religious woman.
38:47
Speaker 2: She never spoke of God, she never acknowledged him at
38:52
Speaker 2: all as far as I knew, until her final six months,
38:59
Speaker 2: and she would talk to me about God. And then
39:01
Speaker 2: the other thing was the book that I wrote, Overcoming
39:05
Speaker 2: Childhood Trauma, My Journey to Healing. In that book, I
39:09
Speaker 2: spoke about my relationship with my mother, the relationship that
39:12
Speaker 2: I had with my father, my ex husband, and so
39:16
Speaker 2: on and so forth. But the greatest part about that
39:20
Speaker 2: was my mom said, the woman that I spoke of
39:23
Speaker 2: which I was talking about her, she no longer recognized
39:28
Speaker 2: because she had given her life over to God, and
39:31
Speaker 2: so she didn't know that the woman that I was
39:33
Speaker 2: speaking of anymore, because that wasn't who she was in
39:37
Speaker 2: these fly in her final days. And so that really
39:42
Speaker 2: touched me in a way because it's like number one
39:46
Speaker 2: she read the book. Number two, she couldn't no longer
39:50
Speaker 2: identify with that broken version of herself, and that was
39:56
Speaker 2: an amazing thing for her to say that. My kids
40:00
Speaker 2: were like, why would she say she didn't know that woman?
40:03
Speaker 2: I said, because she's been made anew she has a
40:06
Speaker 2: relationship with God now and that old version of her
40:10
Speaker 2: is no longer in existence. So it was a wonderful experience,
40:16
Speaker 2: a healing time, and we bonded over though our trauma.
40:24
Speaker 2: You know, my mom was able to share with me
40:28
Speaker 2: things that she never even probably told anybody else. And
40:33
Speaker 2: I'm grateful that I had that time in those moments
40:36
Speaker 2: to make sure that we didn't go into the rest
40:41
Speaker 2: of what she had left and for me, the rest
40:45
Speaker 2: of what I have of my life trying to figure
40:48
Speaker 2: out if I had said enough, if I had said
40:51
Speaker 2: everything that needed to be said, and if she was
40:55
Speaker 2: able to hear everything that she needed to hear. And
40:58
Speaker 2: my mom got to experience doing the podcast and things
41:01
Speaker 2: of that nature as well. And I just want to
41:04
Speaker 2: make sure that I'm continuously walking in the purpose that
41:08
Speaker 2: God has for me and taking off my own mask.
41:12
Speaker 2: You know, it's not always easy. I'm not one for
41:18
Speaker 2: my identity is wrapped up into my children. Number One,
41:22
Speaker 2: I don't really know life outside of them, and there's
41:25
Speaker 2: some new things that are happening in my life and
41:27
Speaker 2: I'm struggling with them a little bit now. But I
41:32
Speaker 2: go to God every time I'm having those moments of God.
41:35
Speaker 2: I'm unsure right now, I'm not sure if this is
41:41
Speaker 2: right for me, if I'm supposed to be moving here,
41:43
Speaker 2: if I'm supposed to be doing that. So I go
41:45
Speaker 2: to him first, and He's like, I wouldn't put you
41:49
Speaker 2: in a space to where it's not time for you
41:52
Speaker 2: to move. And I'm like, yeah, I hear you, but
41:56
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a couple of more questions. We're gonna meditator.
42:00
Speaker 2: I'll talk about this a little bit more. But that's
42:04
Speaker 2: that's the goodness of God. If you're if you be
42:07
Speaker 2: still and you allow Him to speak to you. Do
42:11
Speaker 2: you go to the water when you need to talk
42:14
Speaker 2: to God. I know I do, because you.
42:16
Speaker 4: Know that that is the where I go, you know,
42:19
Speaker 4: whenever I have conversations wherever I need to. That's where
42:22
Speaker 4: I went to write both of my books. I actually
42:25
Speaker 4: live in the Golden Isles of Georgia. I'm a plant,
42:28
Speaker 4: So I moved from Buffalo, New York to the Golden
42:31
Speaker 4: Isles of Georgia, and they have a Verwood beach. It's
42:34
Speaker 4: called on Departed and that's where I wrote my two books,
42:38
Speaker 4: was on the water. And you know, and I think
42:41
Speaker 4: about I think about what you were just saying. You know,
42:44
Speaker 4: your mom or you or myself. We had a different
42:48
Speaker 4: puzzle that we thought, you know, as we're walking around
42:51
Speaker 4: the store and we're seeing puzzles and we're going, oh,
42:54
Speaker 4: I'd love to put that one together.
42:55
Speaker 3: And we bring it home.
42:57
Speaker 4: We put all the pieces on the table and we
42:59
Speaker 4: start putting together, and for some reason, the puzzle isn't
43:03
Speaker 4: looking like what the box said.
43:05
Speaker 3: It looked like that is our lives, that's what life.
43:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, still a masterpiece, even once the pay, even once
43:12
Speaker 4: the picture and the puzzles are put together, it's still
43:15
Speaker 4: a masterpiece. It's not the masterpiece that we thought, Yes,
43:20
Speaker 4: but it's still a masterpiece. And so when I think
43:23
Speaker 4: about that, and I think about, you know, the times
43:26
Speaker 4: in my life that you know that I fall into
43:29
Speaker 4: my knees and say, God, you know, where am I going?
43:32
Speaker 3: What are we doing? Where are we? You know, where
43:35
Speaker 3: are you taking me?
43:36
Speaker 4: And I and I think that people need to know
43:38
Speaker 4: that that's okay to ask those questions. I think people
43:42
Speaker 4: need to know and understand that it's okay to be
43:45
Speaker 4: angry for a moment.
43:46
Speaker 3: It's just not okay to stay there thin. People need
43:49
Speaker 3: to know, and they need to There needs to be
43:52
Speaker 3: deaths in their lives, you know, the death of the promise,
43:55
Speaker 3: the death of a marriage, the death of having growing
43:57
Speaker 3: old with somebody, the death of your children. Those are
44:01
Speaker 3: all deaths. And sometimes we're told to just.
44:04
Speaker 5: You know, just cling to God, just cling to God,
44:07
Speaker 5: which is true, and I'm not saying it's not true,
44:10
Speaker 5: but there's moments that our hands are like, I can't
44:13
Speaker 5: cling to God, can't stay there because you have to
44:17
Speaker 5: grieve that they lost.
44:20
Speaker 4: Your mother lost a childhood too, just as much as
44:24
Speaker 4: you lost a childhood.
44:25
Speaker 1: You both.
44:26
Speaker 4: It's kind of like the whole circle of the book
44:29
Speaker 4: the Shack. You know, the father lost his you know,
44:33
Speaker 4: the father lost his childhood. You know, it goes from
44:36
Speaker 4: generation to generation. That we're not you know, but what
44:40
Speaker 4: we need to do is that we need to be
44:42
Speaker 4: like the eagle. You know, there's only the eagle only
44:45
Speaker 4: has one enemy, one enemy, and that enemy is the crow.
44:50
Speaker 4: And so that enemy, the crow goes on top of
44:53
Speaker 4: the eagle and eats away, tries.
44:55
Speaker 2: To eat away.
44:57
Speaker 3: You know, the eagle doesn't try to push him off
44:58
Speaker 3: at all.
44:59
Speaker 2: All The eagle just fly high.
45:01
Speaker 3: He just keeps.
45:02
Speaker 4: Flying high, flying high until the girl.
45:07
Speaker 2: Yes, until.
45:10
Speaker 4: I heard that analogy, I was like, Oh my goodness,
45:13
Speaker 4: that's what we need to do. That's what we need
45:16
Speaker 4: to do in our healing. That's what we need to
45:18
Speaker 4: do in our rediscovery. That's what we need to do
45:22
Speaker 4: in forgiveness. Is that we just need to keep flying.
45:25
Speaker 4: We just need to keep going. And even if people
45:27
Speaker 4: are eating at the back of our necks and going
45:30
Speaker 4: after us, we need to.
45:31
Speaker 3: Not go like this and try to brush him off.
45:33
Speaker 3: We need to just keep flying exactly, going, don't stop
45:39
Speaker 3: the process.
45:40
Speaker 4: Even Joseph was thrown into the pit. His brothers didn't
45:44
Speaker 4: like him and didn't care for him, and even his
45:45
Speaker 4: brothers were he was thrown into the pit. Daniel, Daniel
45:50
Speaker 4: worship got.
45:50
Speaker 2: And he did it all right.
45:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was thrown into the lions done shand Ben
45:56
Speaker 4: to go. They did it all right, but they were
45:58
Speaker 4: still thrown into the fire. Ye, we need to look
46:02
Speaker 4: at those stories and realize that God gave us those
46:05
Speaker 4: stories within the word of God, so we can know
46:08
Speaker 4: that we can hang on exactly, he can know that
46:11
Speaker 4: we're not alone. You know, here you need to put
46:14
Speaker 4: the story of Moses and there's a battle going on
46:17
Speaker 4: and Moses is losing his strength, and then there's his
46:20
Speaker 4: then there's people that come up beside him and lift
46:23
Speaker 4: up his hands. And every time they lifted up his
46:25
Speaker 4: hands and lifted up his rod, they were winning. That's
46:29
Speaker 4: need You need those people beside you all the time,
46:33
Speaker 4: lifting up your hands and saying you can do this, Bambi,
46:36
Speaker 4: you can do this. You can fight the battle. And
46:39
Speaker 4: I'm going to bring people alongside you that are going
46:42
Speaker 4: to help.
46:42
Speaker 3: You to do that.
46:43
Speaker 4: And what we need we need to do. We're all
46:46
Speaker 4: going to have crows in our lives, all of us.
46:49
Speaker 4: There's not one of us that are going they're not.
46:51
Speaker 3: Everybody likes me, and I'm a fun, loving, awesome person.
46:54
Speaker 4: I going laugh my friends that love me, We laugh
46:58
Speaker 4: until our stomach hurts and we pee our pants.
47:00
Speaker 3: That runs that you have. But there are.
47:03
Speaker 4: People that don't like me. And I'm okay because I'm flying. Exactly,
47:08
Speaker 4: I say to say, hey, I'm flying. I'm letting God
47:12
Speaker 4: do it and God work it out. And I know
47:14
Speaker 4: that I have a mission. I know that I have
47:17
Speaker 4: a purpose.
47:18
Speaker 3: I know that I wrote my book because God had
47:20
Speaker 3: called me.
47:21
Speaker 4: I know that these podcasts and these radios that I'm
47:25
Speaker 4: being on and sharing my story and next being on
47:29
Speaker 4: speaking platforms.
47:30
Speaker 3: Is because God had a mission.
47:32
Speaker 4: God dream when I was twenty eight years old, between
47:35
Speaker 4: twenty five and twenty eight, he gave me a dream,
47:38
Speaker 4: and that dream was he had called me onto a stage.
47:41
Speaker 4: And I walked out into the stage and I stood
47:43
Speaker 4: at the podium and I looked out into the looked
47:45
Speaker 4: out into the audience, and everybody was they were They
47:48
Speaker 4: look homeless, they and they stunk, and there was this
47:50
Speaker 4: nasty aroma.
47:52
Speaker 3: And they had words written.
47:53
Speaker 4: Across their chests, unloved, ugly, unforgiven, all the negative words
47:58
Speaker 4: that we tell ourselves over and over again. And I
48:00
Speaker 4: started and I started talking, and I started telling my story.
48:03
Speaker 4: I started telling my story and how I once was
48:05
Speaker 4: lost but now I found I once found myself on.
48:07
Speaker 3: A bridge, ready to take my life, and then God
48:10
Speaker 3: rescued me.
48:11
Speaker 4: And as I began to tell my story, and I
48:14
Speaker 4: began to weep of what God had done for me.
48:16
Speaker 4: I saw the audience, and the audience was changing. The
48:19
Speaker 4: aroma changes like lilacs. It smelled like lilacs, and everybody
48:24
Speaker 4: had nice clothes on and they now had new words. Beloved, suddenly, forgiven,
48:30
Speaker 4: blesses the daughter of the King, and God gave that that.
48:34
Speaker 4: God gave me that dream thirty years ago. Thirty years ago,
48:38
Speaker 4: and I'm now, it says in our dreams years, I'm going, God,
48:44
Speaker 4: this has been thirty years. Sometimes no, doesn't, but.
48:52
Speaker 3: It has been now.
48:53
Speaker 4: I can see I can see the doors opening. I
48:56
Speaker 4: can see, you know, him working on my behalf. I
48:59
Speaker 4: can see him marching and opening up those doors. I
49:02
Speaker 4: can see him doing that. But it's been a long journey.
49:04
Speaker 4: And I tell that story because I want people to
49:08
Speaker 4: know that God is a suddenly God. Yes, he is
49:12
Speaker 4: a suddenly God. And you know what, you may be
49:14
Speaker 4: waiting and waiting and waiting. I've been waiting thirty years
49:19
Speaker 4: to be able to be on a platform to tell
49:21
Speaker 4: my story and to allow my story to set women free. Suddenly,
49:27
Speaker 4: don't give up before the corner. You know your miracle
49:32
Speaker 4: is always around the corner.
49:35
Speaker 2: Did it up.
49:36
Speaker 3: Before if God spoke to you. He's going to do it.
49:40
Speaker 3: He doesn't tell us how long it's going to take.
49:42
Speaker 3: I'm fifty five years old.
49:44
Speaker 4: He could have done it when I was, you know
49:45
Speaker 4: a little better, a little thirty and I can walk
49:47
Speaker 4: a little better, and you know, it was a great one.
49:50
Speaker 2: ID doesn't do it that way.
49:52
Speaker 3: I don't do it that way, work that way. But
49:56
Speaker 3: he does work.
49:58
Speaker 4: But he does work. And that's what I want your
50:00
Speaker 4: audience to understand. You are in a moment in your
50:02
Speaker 4: life that you're going God, why why. I'm telling you
50:06
Speaker 4: that our God is a suddenly god. Our God is
50:08
Speaker 4: a healer. Our God says, you speak the mountains and
50:11
Speaker 4: I'm going to move them. It's funny how he does
50:14
Speaker 4: how we don't have to move them. He moves them
50:16
Speaker 4: for us. All we have to do is speak. So Jesus,
50:20
Speaker 4: keep speaking, keep pronouncing, Keep going to Jesus and saying, Jesus,
50:25
Speaker 4: you're the mediator between God, between God and me. You
50:28
Speaker 4: go up there and ask him, say, hey, Bambi's at
50:31
Speaker 4: it again. When are we going to answer her? You
50:33
Speaker 4: don't direct, don't give up, don't give up on your healing.
50:37
Speaker 4: And even if you go two steps back.
50:39
Speaker 3: Doesn't worry. The Bible talks about that too, talks about how.
50:43
Speaker 2: Many times you're going to fall.
50:45
Speaker 4: Who knows that's going to manner? God talks about that.
50:48
Speaker 4: God talks about that there's sometimes that we are going
50:51
Speaker 4: to be the little faith.
50:53
Speaker 2: It is about that.
50:54
Speaker 4: He talks about everything that we need within the word
50:57
Speaker 4: of God to set us free and for us to
50:59
Speaker 4: wait and be still and know that He is God.
51:05
Speaker 3: He is God.
51:06
Speaker 4: So don't give up on your dreams, don't give up
51:08
Speaker 4: on what you think that God is not.
51:10
Speaker 3: Doing on your behalf. He is you are Father.
51:15
Speaker 2: Here's now, how can they get in touch with you
51:20
Speaker 2: and order your books or anything?
51:22
Speaker 4: Yes, well you my books. I have two books that
51:25
Speaker 4: are out on sale right now, The Journey of Josephine,
51:28
Speaker 4: which is my account of my life and how God
51:31
Speaker 4: took a broken little girl and he transformed her by
51:35
Speaker 4: using my rag dell as my security blanket when I
51:37
Speaker 4: was a little girl. So that is out for sale
51:40
Speaker 4: on my website. So is my book The Treasures of
51:44
Speaker 4: My Heart. It is it is the stories of different
51:48
Speaker 4: stories that in the midst of the storms, God showed up,
51:52
Speaker 4: and so that is those are both on my website,
51:55
Speaker 4: Healingthroughstories dot Com, which is all one word. You can
51:59
Speaker 4: scribe to my website Healingthroughstories dot Com. Subscribe and there
52:03
Speaker 4: will be a pop up that you can order anything
52:06
Speaker 4: on my website and get a ten percent discount on
52:11
Speaker 4: all of your orders. So there is a code that
52:14
Speaker 4: goes along with that, so you can order.
52:16
Speaker 3: Also.
52:17
Speaker 4: I am on all kinds of social media. It's pretty
52:19
Speaker 4: easy to find. My name's a little weird, you know,
52:22
Speaker 4: so it's Bambulin on all the social media's. I do
52:24
Speaker 4: have my third book coming out, The God Who Sees,
52:27
Speaker 4: and that will come out in June, and it is
52:29
Speaker 4: about I took twenty nine different women of the Bible,
52:32
Speaker 4: and I made them more relatable today. I talked about
52:35
Speaker 4: the issue that we have in our lives today, just
52:37
Speaker 4: like one of the examples is that I told the
52:40
Speaker 4: story of Bethsheba not from the eyes of how everybody
52:43
Speaker 4: else looks at her, but through the eyes of a
52:46
Speaker 4: mother that lost her child and she had a rainbow baby,
52:51
Speaker 4: you know her, you know, Solomon was her rainbow baby.
52:54
Speaker 3: But it neverks away from the total pain of losing
52:57
Speaker 3: a child.
52:57
Speaker 4: So I made them more relatable today so women would
53:00
Speaker 4: know that God has covered every single situation and circumstance
53:06
Speaker 4: that we will be in in our lives. He's covered
53:08
Speaker 4: them all within the word of God, and so that
53:11
Speaker 4: is out in June. That is the God who sees.
53:14
Speaker 4: So just go to my website, Healingthroughstories dot com. Order
53:17
Speaker 4: your book today, And if you are looking for a speaker,
53:20
Speaker 4: you know, for retreats or weekends or conferences, you know,
53:25
Speaker 4: I am definitely somebody that is capable of doing that,
53:28
Speaker 4: and I would love the opportunity to be able to
53:30
Speaker 4: tell my story to set you free for your job.
53:34
Speaker 2: Well, I definitely have to have you back on the
53:37
Speaker 2: show because I have enjoyed this conversation and we will
53:41
Speaker 2: definitely be talking about the goodness of God all night.
53:44
Speaker 2: How old we have a time, Libby, That's okay, but
53:50
Speaker 2: this is fine. It has definitely been very very fun.
53:55
Speaker 2: Definitely get used to hearing from me because you know,
53:59
Speaker 2: now we have developed a friendship, so you know, you
54:04
Speaker 2: can't get rid of me now. So it's okay. Just
54:08
Speaker 2: understand that that little short girl is going to be
54:10
Speaker 2: coming to see you and talk to you and harass
54:13
Speaker 2: you and all of that.
54:14
Speaker 4: Good awesome as long as you don't some of the
54:17
Speaker 4: time the gravity isn't here.
54:19
Speaker 2: It's okay, listen, we talked about that because had I not,
54:26
Speaker 2: you know, it's just sports work down. That's that's what
54:29
Speaker 2: we got today. But I want to thank you so
54:32
Speaker 2: much for being here and thank you guys for tuning
54:35
Speaker 2: in tonight because without you, guys, I would not be
54:39
Speaker 2: able to do what I do. And before I close out,
54:42
Speaker 2: like I do always, and that is to remember to
54:45
Speaker 2: stay out of God's business. The only thing God needs
54:48
Speaker 2: you to do is be obedient to what he's called
54:50
Speaker 2: you to do. So until February the twenty seventh, I'll
54:54
Speaker 2: see you guys. Then y'all have a good night.