Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How Do Narcissists Prove They LOVE You?
Transcript
- 0:00What's going on, everybody? In this video, we're going to be
- 0:03talking about how do narcissist show you love?
- 0:07How do they show you that they love you?
- 0:09Are they getting down on bended knee?
- 0:12Are they asking you to marry them?
- 0:13Are they buying you things? Are they sitting there having
- 0:16these deep emotional connections or are they just getting
- 0:21physical with you? Get the physical.
- 0:23Are we getting physical with each other?
- 0:26That's what we talking about today, y'all?
- 0:27Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:29I'm a diagnose narcissist here to give you the perspective of a
- 0:32narcissist, give you an inside look at the mind of a narcissist
- 0:34and we're gonna hop right into it, y'all.
- 0:37So can a narcissist love you? That's the question.
- 0:40I'm going to get that question out of the way first because so
- 0:42many people ask me that question.
- 0:44They can they even love you at all?
- 0:46Can narcissists love and all? Like, I just feel like they
- 0:48don't love. I feel like they don't have the
- 0:50ability to love. Like, So what?
- 0:52What is love, baby? Don't hurt me, don't hurt me no
- 0:57more. Hey hey, bonus points if I will
- 1:00pin your comment if you know what movie that comes from.
- 1:03What is love baby? Don't hurt.
- 1:06Wait, what movie that comes from?
- 1:07I'll pin the comment The first person that gets it.
- 1:08I will pin the comment. But yes, I do believe that some,
- 1:17SOME some narcissist can't absolutely love you.
- 1:23I do believe that. I do honestly believe that it's
- 1:26possible for some, not all, some narcissist to love you for the
- 1:35other, for the for the other people, the other narcissist, I
- 1:38it might not be as possible, right?
- 1:42Are we here? OK, cool.
- 1:44It might not be as possible for those other narcissist to show
- 1:47love, right? Because I truly believe that
- 1:51most narcissists show love, show you that they love you through
- 1:55the physical stuff. It's at the beginning of the
- 1:59relationship with a narcissist, it's going to seem like y'all
- 2:02have this deep emotional connection because that's how
- 2:04they get you at the beginning. They're going to show you this
- 2:08deep emotional connection. They're going to show you how
- 2:10you connect. They're going to vibe with
- 2:12everything going to vibe. You're going to vibe together.
- 2:14We have the same similar interests.
- 2:16We talk, we we laugh at the same jokes, we have the same sense of
- 2:19humor, blah, blah blah, Boo Boo Boo BBB rabble, rabble rabble.
- 2:22Y'all get it right at the beginning it's going to feel
- 2:25like a deep emotional connection, but then that's it.
- 2:29The rest is going to be the physical.
- 2:33How do they demonstrate love through the physical
- 2:36physicality? Let's get physical.
- 2:39That's how they show love. That's how they demonstrate love
- 2:41through the physical act of doing it through the physical.
- 2:46Very rarely are you going to get a narcissist or a toxic person
- 2:49or whatever, right? There's going to be a deep, have
- 2:51a deep emotional bond with you from the very beginning to the
- 2:54very end of the relationship. However it ends, but you're
- 2:58going to get most times you're going to get the narcissist that
- 3:00shows you love through the physical.
- 3:03They're going to buy you gifts. They're going to say the words I
- 3:07love you. Matter of fact, they're going to
- 3:08say it all the time. Some of them, not all of them,
- 3:11they're gonna say it all the time.
- 3:12I love you. You know I love you, right?
- 3:15I love you. Love, love, love, love, love,
- 3:16love, love, love, love, love. You'll be angry at them.
- 3:20You're like, I hate you so much. And they'll be like, love, love,
- 3:23love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
- 3:25I love you. You know I love you, right?
- 3:27You know, keep doing that same type of stuff over and over and
- 3:30over again. They will defeat you, right?
- 3:32They will try to, they will try to beat you down with the word
- 3:34love. Other times they'll do the
- 3:37physical stuff. They'll buy you a gift, they'll
- 3:40go buy you something. They'll give you a hug.
- 3:43It's going to be physical. The act of physical, getting
- 3:46physical with you. Very rarely is it going to be
- 3:49the deep emotional stuff. They're going to keep doing the
- 3:51physical stuff because the physical stuff works.
- 3:55It does. It has nothing to be ashamed.
- 3:56I don't people think, I think people get ashamed when I say
- 3:58the physical stuff works. They're like, well, it did work
- 4:00on me. Yeah.
- 4:01You're a human being. It's going to work sometimes.
- 4:04Like, what are we? What are we doing?
- 4:05What are we doing here? What are you doing?
- 4:08Yeah, You're a human being. It's going to work sometimes.
- 4:10Are you? You're a human being.
- 4:11You want love. You want to be loved.
- 4:13You want to feel love. Of course it's going to work
- 4:15sometimes when they're not giving you what you want.
- 4:18Of course the type of stuff is going to.
- 4:20When they give you something you're going to, it's going to
- 4:22mean more. Yeah.
- 4:25This is analogy I got, I got for you.
- 4:27A glass of water means a lot more to you when you're thirsty
- 4:31than it does when you're fully, your thirst is fully quenched
- 4:34and you sit over there just belly, your belly popping.
- 4:37You just drunk damn near a gallon of water and somebody
- 4:40offers you a glass of water in that situation, like, no, I just
- 4:42drunk a gallon. I'm I'm full.
- 4:44But if you haven't gotten that love in a long time, you see
- 4:48what I'm saying? If you haven't gotten that love
- 4:49in a long time or you haven't drank in a long time, you
- 4:52climbing through the Sahara Desert, that water don't seem a
- 4:55lot more appealing. That hug, if you haven't got
- 4:59one, that hug means a lot more. If you haven't got one in 17
- 5:02months, that kiss is going to carry a lot more weight.
- 5:06If you haven't had a kiss or a Peck or a smooch on the lips in
- 5:10three, in six months, right, it's going to mean more to you.
- 5:13Why wouldn't it? That's what I'm saying right
- 5:18there. Why wouldn't it mean more to
- 5:19you? Because that's what it is.
- 5:22It's going to mean more to you. So when narcissistic people are
- 5:26taken away and giving you stuff like giving you a little bit,
- 5:29little by little whenever giving their breadcrumbing you, of
- 5:32course it's going to mean a lot more.
- 5:33You haven't gotten it in a long time.
- 5:35It's going to mean a lot more to you.
- 5:38So they're going to show you love through physical things.
- 5:41They're going to give you gifts, they're going to buy you things.
- 5:44They're going to take you on a trip.
- 5:46They're going to get you a new car if they can afford it like
- 5:50sometimes y'all like if if they can't afford it, they can't keep
- 5:53affording to buy you things right, Which guess what they're
- 5:57going to do next. If they can't buy you stuff,
- 5:59guess what they're going to do? They're just going to give you
- 6:01the physical touch. Physical touch.
- 6:04Here's a hug, here's a kiss here's some cheek.
- 6:06Let me clap them cheeks. You see what I'm saying?
- 6:08Here give me them cheeks or, or here, here, here, here are the
- 6:12cheeks here are the cheeks. Go ahead and get them, get them,
- 6:15get them, get them, get them good, use them, man.
- 6:17They'll give you, they'll give you something like that or
- 6:20they'll just ask for some, some bedroom stuff.
- 6:22You sort of like that. That's what they'll do.
- 6:24It's very rarely going to be that deep emotional bond that
- 6:28you are seeking. But because you got it in the
- 6:31beginning, because you were getting it from the beginning,
- 6:34it's going to mean a lot. You see what I'm saying?
- 6:35But when you were getting it from the beginning, you think
- 6:37that they that they have the ability to give it to you.
- 6:40So you stay longer trying to get it back.
- 6:43You see, we're here, you stayed longer trying to get that
- 6:47emotional bond, emotional connection back.
- 6:52Asking this question right here. I might do a full video on this
- 6:55right here. What do narcissists love about
- 6:57you? Right?
- 6:59Go ask your partner what they love about you.
- 7:02And typically it's going to be something that benefits them
- 7:06directly. Very rarely is going to is
- 7:09going, is going to be your uniqueness or something like
- 7:12that. Typically it's going to be
- 7:15something that serves them. Typically it's going to be
- 7:17something that benefits them. That's how it goes.
- 7:21So it's just like they don't, they're not going to give you
- 7:22the deep emotional connection, the deep bond that you're
- 7:25seeking. It's going to be something that
- 7:27you, like I said something that that you do for them that you
- 7:31have given them something that you are there with them for and
- 7:34that's what's going to end up happening.
- 7:36So how do narcissists demonstrate love?
- 7:38They do sometimes y'all, if you ask them, do they love you?
- 7:41If you go to your party, your narcissistic partner or
- 7:43whatever, right, your narcissist in your life, you go to them and
- 7:46ask them like what do you love about me?
- 7:50And I say, what do you love? Or it's just ask yourself, do
- 7:53you love? Do you love me?
- 7:55You're in the puppy dog eyes? Do you love me?
- 7:57And they'll be like, well, if I, I wouldn't be here if I didn't
- 8:01love you, if I didn't love you, you damn sure wouldn't see me
- 8:04here. I would not be here with you if
- 8:06I didn't love you. Why would you ask me something
- 8:08like that? See, that's see you getting on
- 8:10my damn nerves right here. You too insecure or double bloop
- 8:13a bubble blink, a bubble blink. That's going to start speaking
- 8:16gibberish to you because it doesn't make sense, right?
- 8:18They're going to start speaking that crazy ass gibberish to you
- 8:20that just gets into your head, that messes with you.
- 8:24It just absolutely does. So as time moves forward, as
- 8:27you're continuing to go, it's you to continuing to glow and
- 8:30grow and power your way through these situations.
- 8:32That's what you have to prepare for.
- 8:34Y'all, seriously? That's literally the type of
- 8:37stuff you have to prepare for. I'm rooting for y'all because
- 8:40you have to go out and get the love that you deserve.
- 8:43If this person isn't giving you the love that you deserve, yeah,
- 8:46it might be OK to leave this person like, no hard feelings.
- 8:50They might. They look from you, right?
- 8:52From you to them, they may have some hard feelings because you
- 8:55left them, but it's for you. You see what I'm saying?
- 8:59It's for you. I look, I be hoping and praying
- 9:02that this video reaches the right.
- 9:03These videos reach the right people.
- 9:06I, I hope and pray that my videos reach the right people
- 9:09that touch the right people. That's all I be.
- 9:11That's all I want is for these videos to reach the right
- 9:14audience because the more people it reaches, the more people it
- 9:17can help. You mean share this video not
- 9:20with your narcissistic partner. I know, but well, Lee, thank you
- 9:21for telling me Jim Lee, thank you for telling me.
- 9:27I was going to share. I was thinking about I was on
- 9:28the fence about sharing this with my narcissistic partner,
- 9:31but now I'm definitely going to do it.
- 9:32Thanks to you. No, you're trying to get him
- 9:35tips and tricks on how to trick you or how to how to manipulate
- 9:38you more. You don't want to do that.
- 9:40That doesn't serve you. That doesn't benefit you right
- 9:42there, right, because you continue to grow as you're
- 9:45continuing to move forward. This is the type of stuff that
- 9:47you have to start thinking about right here.
- 9:49Y'all seriously you have to start processing things and
- 9:52being able to move forward with your life and using your own,
- 9:54like using your brain to go out here and get what you deserve.
- 9:57Like I know what they showed you at the beginning right?
- 10:00I know what they showed you in the beginning.
- 10:01They showed you that they could give you this love.
- 10:03They showed you that they could care for you.
- 10:05They showed you that they that they could do this, that they
- 10:07could do that. But what have they done for you
- 10:10lately? Seriously, have you been sitting
- 10:13in a loveless or 1 sided love relationship for 10/15/20 years?
- 10:19Well now you feel like well out of state's long enough.
- 10:21I feel like I should just stay for good now.
- 10:22I don't think I should leave at all.
- 10:24You know what I mean? Maybe I should just stay with
- 10:26them. What?
- 10:27What are we doing? What are we doing?
- 10:31You see this is these are things that you have to consider as you
- 10:34moving forward. Seriously, these are things that
- 10:36you have to consider. These are things that are going
- 10:38to benefit you in the long run as you continue to take your
- 10:42narcissistic robot. Resetting, rebooting, power back
- 10:49up. These are things you have to
- 10:51take into consideration as you continue to move forward on your
- 10:53journey. Like, is this person give you
- 10:55the love that you want? Now, I know they're probably
- 10:58thinking that they're giving you the love that that you want
- 11:00because you haven't left them. And narcissists use their prep.
- 11:03You use your presence in the relationship as a justification
- 11:07for their behaviors. They're using your presence for
- 11:09the justification of to give, of giving you lack.
- 11:12If love or showing you love that you need is not a requirement,
- 11:16they're not going to do it. Not because you're not worth it,
- 11:19but because in their minds they don't have to do it.
- 11:21Why would I keep doing this stuff if it's not a requirement?
- 11:24If love if if emotional or deep emotional and connection is not
- 11:28a requirement, You're just going to be going through the motions
- 11:30of having a narcissistic roommate that you might have
- 11:33kids with, that you might be paying bills with that you might
- 11:35be growing old with this might not be your real true authentic
- 11:38partner. Now narcissists, they think that
- 11:41they are. I'm just telling you, they think
- 11:43that they're doing enough because you haven't left because
- 11:45you stayed. And again, y'all, this is not me
- 11:47chastising y'all for staying in a toxic relationship.
- 11:50I didn't say anything. It'll leave you victim blame me.
- 11:52What the how, how, how look on my shoulder, how, how Oh, it
- 12:02hurt y'all? I don't think about cutting my
- 12:04hair. I've been thinking about cutting
- 12:05my hair off lately. Y'all I don't know how it would
- 12:07look, but I feel like I got you only get one life and I'm
- 12:09thinking about by the maybe the end of this year or next year
- 12:14I'm going to slice it off and have a short haircut.
- 12:16We'll see you. It's just the dreads.
- 12:18I guess I'll use the dreads for the last 17 years.
- 12:20Maybe my son graduate. That might be my gift.
- 12:21That might be he. Maybe he graduate from school
- 12:25because I've had him right before he's born.
- 12:27So maybe he graduated from high school Next year when he turns
- 12:2918, I'm go ahead and cut him off Interesting, right?
- 12:34Anyways, y'all, if you're not getting the love that you want,
- 12:36you need to go get the love that you deserve.
- 12:38I promise you it's out there for you.
- 12:40I promise you, you can go get it.
- 12:41I know that if there's a fear, leave.
- 12:43My heart is beating. I know it's supposed to be
- 12:45beating. You're alive, you're a human
- 12:46being. Don't beat yourself up, y'all.
- 12:49Anyways, y'all, if you haven't already, hit that subscribe
- 12:51button. Y'all.
- 12:51We, so we, we're crawling to 500K crawling.
- 12:56I'm look and also I'm posting my very first storytelling video
- 13:00next Wednesday. Rondas story is going live.
- 13:04If you want your story to be one of my animated videos like the
- 13:06one you going to see next Wednesday, please please, please
- 13:09send your story to info.info@mentalillness.net or
- 13:15mental illness.net. For everything else we have me
- 13:17and I'm out. Peace.