Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Shanna Moakler Is In Love, But Regrets Doing THIS For Her Ex-Husband

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Shanna Moakler Is In Love, But Regrets Doing THIS For Her Ex-Husband · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hey, I do part two. It's your host, Jana Kramer.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: And today I get to connect with a woman who
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: is feeling her best in chapter two.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: And helping other women to do the same in this
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: next phase of life. She is in her chapter two,
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: just like all of us. She had a high-profile marriage
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: to Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, and now she's found love again.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: She's an actress, a mother, and the founder of Hello, Foxy.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Please welcome Shana Mochler to the pod. You know, I
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: am so excited to chat with you for many reasons,
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: but one being I am so in the start of perimenopause.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Like I can't even, I honestly, I have another podcast
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: called wind down and I was talking with my girlfriends.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know what's happening. Like I'm everyone's
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: saying my blood works fine or this is, you know,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: but I wasn't doing it, uh, the right time. Yeah.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: It's been, I was like, I feel, I felt, I
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: have felt so out of body and like something is,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: is wrong. And I've been, you know, chat GP team,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: like what is wrong with me? Am I crazy? Like
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: what's happening? And then everyone's, you know, it's just my age.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: I'm 42. And a lot of women are like, that's
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: when it happened for me. And I'm like, what happened
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: for you? Like, what do you mean? And now, you know,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: as I was going through my notes and you've started
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Hello Foxy, I'm so excited because it's like you're helping
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: everything from menopause symptoms to skin wellness. Is there anything
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: for perimenopause though?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Girl.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: You don't even understand. I am so proud.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: So just a little background, just so you know, I
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: like really always looked up to Suzanne Somers. I mean,
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: who hasn't?
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, it was like our mom, like my mom
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: was watching her like from like the workouts to everything.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: You know, but she was really like the first woman
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: who really like sort of like pioneered like menopause and
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: anti-aging for women, you know, and really wrote those books
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: and really opened the dialogue for Because my mom was
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: just like raw dogging it, you know, like she like
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: was just roughing it, you know, and I look back
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: now and I mean, and she was having all those
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: hot flashes.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: And I was like, get over it woman.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: And now I'm like, oh my God, I was so
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: mean to my mom.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Well, she, she has it.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: But to answer your question, not only do I have Perry,
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: but I have Perry, I have pre Perry and post.
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: So I'm actually going to be offering. three separate systems
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: for women. So someone like yourself, you're actually really young,
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: but women can go into menopause as early as like
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: 28 years old.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: My mom was 33, which is why I had freaked
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: out because I wanted to have kids. I'm like, oh
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: my God, my mom's going to, I'm going to have
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: the same thing happen now that it didn't. But I mean, yeah, it's, crazy.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And what are the first signs, you know, women
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: don't even understand a lot of the times women, when
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: they already, when they're, when they're going into like perimenopause,
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: you know, they have maybe like hot flashes at night,
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: you know, or, um, you know, they're gaining a little
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: weight or their hair is getting a little thinner and
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: they just think it's stress or they think it's anxiety or,
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: you know, they just have no idea that it's actually
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: their hormones that are changing. And, you know, um, one
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: of the, uh, pharmacists who work within my company and
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: hello Foxy, her name's Jessica Patron and She's an absolute
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: genius pharmacist and she created an entire collection called Roots
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: that I'm going to be implementing, which is the three
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: systems of, um, pre Perry and post menopause. And she
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: was telling me, she goes, you know, when I was
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: talking to her about hot flashes, she's like, well, when
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: do you get them? And I was like, well, at
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: first I was just getting them at night. You know,
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: I was like dying in the middle of the night,
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: waking up like drenched. And she's like, well, that's your progesterone.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: That means your progesterone is low and that's where it starts.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: And so women need to take that progesterone at night.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: But when you start having hot flashes in the day,
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: she was like, now that's a whole other, that's a
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: whole other, you know, a demon there, you know, now
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: that's estrogen and, you know, now your estrogen is gone.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: So now you have to take an estrogen patch and
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: estrogen is really the one that kind of like sets it,
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: sets us all off.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Once that estrogen drops, that's when.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: You get the weight gain, you get the hair loss,
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: you get the anxiety, you get the frozen shoulder.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's an array. I mean, women are afraid
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: to drive.
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: The craziest things start happening to us when we start.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Losing our estrogen.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: And not every woman can go on estrogen replacement, which
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: is a whole other thing. So this is why I'm
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: so proud of HelloFoxy because Um, it's, uh, all made
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: in the USA. You know, we're a 503 a, uh, company.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: We're all based in the United States and Tennessee and Dallas. Um,
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: all our pharmacies are here. There's nothing synthetic coming from overseas. Um,
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: and we have women, women pharmacists, um, and women doctors
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: who are going to help you get your blood work
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: and help you figure out exactly where your hormone levels
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: are and and, you know, kind of cater to your
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: particular needs. And we're not going to go, we're not
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: going to leave you. We're not going to be like, okay,
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: here's your drugs. And then, you know, you know, cause
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: a lot of women stop, a lot of women get
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: on estrogen and then they don't, you know, they don't
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: know what to do. And then, you know, so we're
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: not going to leave you. We're going to guide you
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: through it all.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: That is, I mean, that's amazing. Like I'm, I'm so
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: excited to look into that. And I'm curious too, because
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: so you've been dating your new guy for how long?
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay, well, I met Greg, oh my God.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: You met him on a movie, right? Like years and years.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And years ago.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I met him, we were first models in Miami. I
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: was 18, I just graduated high school. I was a
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: model in Miami. He was 20 and we just met
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: in Miami. And then we were dating, we were so young.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: And then he went to L.A. and I went to
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: New York. That's when I became Miss New York, USA
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: and won Miss USA. And that's why I moved to L.A.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: Then I ran into him again. We actually did Poison
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: Ivy 3 with Jamie Presley. We did like a whole
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: movie and we kind of dated a little bit again.
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: And then, you know, life just kind of took us
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: on our separate ways. So I've known Greg for well
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: over 30 years. Oh, my God, that's crazy to say.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: But we've been together. We reconnected about three years ago.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: How do you reconnect? What was the, what was the reconnection?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Was it like a DM slide or?
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: So Jason Momoa, you might know him, you know, Aquaman.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: He was a very, he's a good friend of both
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: of ours. So when we all moved to LA, we
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: were all starting, you know, young actors, models.
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: We were all like doing our.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Thing many, many moons ago. And he was doing a
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: vodka launch and invited us all, you know, to kind
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: of go celebrate. And so I ran into him at
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: Jason's vodka launch and, Um, I just saw him, I
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: hugged him and I was like, it's you, you're the
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: one it's I'm going to grow old with you. Like
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: I just knew it, you know? And, um, shortly after
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: he moved me to Texas and we've been together ever since.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, so you're living in Texas now.
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: I do.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: I'm, I'm in LA right now visiting my kiddos, but, um,
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: I'm based out of Dallas now.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: And then the kiddos ages are what?
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Okay, so Bama is going to be
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: turning 21 in December, which is so crazy.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: She's going to have a big old.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: Party in Vegas, I think. Landon will be 23 in October.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: And my youngest is 27, which really freaks me out
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: because it's very close to 30. And I'm not sure
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: I'm ready to have a 30-year-old daughter yet.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: But yeah, 27.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I think it's beautiful that you're
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: on your next chapter. I'm curious, too, because I feel
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: like it takes a specific man to handle... the hormonal
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: imbalances that we're going through. And I genuinely like, I'm like, man,
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: you know, It does. It just, it takes, it takes a,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: it takes a, a really good man, but also like,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: what is something that he does for you that you're
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: just like, because I have a hard time expressing like, Hey,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: it's the week before I'm about to go really crazy.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Cause right now I might have PMDD. So it's like
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: right before my period, it just is. And I've never
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: felt that.
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: That's the thing with Perry, right? Is like, you know,
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: you have a period, you don't have a period, you
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: have a period for two weeks and you don't have
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: a period for like three months. You know, and then like,
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: you might have hot flashes one week. And so, you know,
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: it's just, you never know, you know, and it's, and
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: a lot of women just rough through it. They don't
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: even realize that there's, you know, there's things out there
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: that can kind of ease all of that. You know,
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: there's no reason to suffer. We have HRT, we have
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: hormone replacement therapy, you know, but I'm, you know, the
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: big thing for me was hot flashes. Like, I mean,
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: I was getting them like every 30 minutes and I'm
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: not talking just like the, the hardest thing was, um,
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: at night just sleeping. Cause I would just wake up
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: like drenched. to the point where I would like have
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: to go like change, you know, you're like, you're sweating
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: and then you're freezing and then you're sweating and you're,
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: and when he, and then you just, you're not sleeping.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: You know, my sleep was so interrupted and I just
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: was like, babe, I just, I just need a good
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: night's sleep. You know, that was the hardest thing.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: And he just saw me suffering through that.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: And I, and I think that's the piece that I'm
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: curious about because I have a hard time communicating that like,
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: because I'm, it feels so out of body and then I,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I'm almost not that I'm embarrassed by it, but it's,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: it's like, I'm trying to hold it together because I
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: don't want it to seem like, you know, but, but
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: I also know that it's, it's a lot to like,
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: how do you communicate that to your partner? And then
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: how has he shown up for you in that?
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: You know, I always tell like women and I tell men,
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: you know, there's three phases in a woman's life where
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: we have absolutely no control of our bodies and that's puberty, pregnancy,
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: and menopause. And it's just, we just have no control
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: over our hormones, you know? And it's, it's like, you know,
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: I just, it's like, Hey, I don't, I don't want
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: to feel like this, you know, but I think just
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: educating your partner as well, just being like, Hey, babe, like,
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: read this article, or here's a little fun meme, you know,
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: or just kind of sending him stuff, you know, where
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: it shows other women kind of make in light of it. So,
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: you know, but it's a conversation you have to have like, Hey,
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: I'm not in control of my body sometimes.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Like I'm going to go see a physician.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: I'm going to get it under control, but I need
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: you to be a little patient with me because the
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: thing about menopause is like, especially with hormone replacement therapies
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: and really with any real physical issue, any physician-guided issue
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: you have, even if it's mental health, it's going to
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: take a little work to figure out what works with
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: your body, even going on a GLP. Ozempic may work
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: for some people. Manjaro may work for another person. You
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: need to figure out the level that works for you.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Is it five milligrams? Is it seven?
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: Do you want a microdose? You know, and people really
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: need to be, I think, a little kinder to themselves
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: as they sort of navigate what works for them and
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: what doesn't work for them. Because it can be like
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: a six to a year month process figuring it out.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure. Can we travel back in time
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: a bit?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sure.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Is that okay?
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sure. I'd love to go back in time. I know, right?
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Don't I as well.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: I'd love to go back in time.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I have, you know, I have a very, I have
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: a public, ex a relationship that was really hard. And
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: that was in, you know, in the papers and all
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: the things. And, you know, I, I sometimes think back
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: on that relationship and I'm like, what could I have
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: done differently? Because, you know, obviously people reach out and
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: be like, Hey, I need help with, you know, moving
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: on or this, like, what would you have done differently?
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: And I'm, you know, I have, I have my responses
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: for that, but I'm curious, like when you look back
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: or when you've looked back, Like, is there something where
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: you're like, I could have done this differently?
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: Oh, God. I mean, I don't even, I mean, of course.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, there's, I mean, my life and all the
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: things that I've gone through.
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: In your relationship, yeah. Yeah, there's like probably a gazillion things,
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: you know, that I think I would have done differently.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: And more so even in the self-care of myself. Yeah.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: You know, I was running around trying to save everybody,
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: probably but myself. Um, not to sound selfish or whatnot,
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: but I think if women don't take care of themselves,
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: you're not going to be a good mother.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: You're not going to be a good friend. You're not
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: going to be a good daughter, you know?
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: So I think, um, that's very important, but at the
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: same time, you know, I know everyone says this is
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: very cliche, but if I didn't make those mistakes, I
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: wouldn't be who I am today. And, you know, I,
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't, you know, have the strength in the, in
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: the different, um, attributes, you know, if I hadn't made
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: those mistakes.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: No, for sure. I hear that. And I think one
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: of the things that I've, when I've like sat with
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: it is I wish I would have, like, I always say, oh,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad that I stayed all those years and
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: that I gave it everything. And I am like, cause
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I know that I tried everything I possibly could, but I,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: but the piece that I haven't been truthful in that
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: is that I wish I would have, cause I had,
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: if I really would have discerned with myself, I knew
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: it was never going to get better.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Like, and, and, and like, I wish I would have
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: actually left sooner. knowing that it wouldn't have changed. So
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: I should have listened to that whisper and that discernment
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: inside of me because you know, you know, and I
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: wanted to ignore it. And I kept just shoving it
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: down and like trying to pour water over it, you know?
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Well, I think, you know, that's a big thing.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: I think a lot of women stay too long, you know,
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: for different reasons. Maybe it's their kids. Maybe it's, you know,
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: a lot of women have fixers. you know, I'm going
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: to fix it. I'm going to heal it. That was
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: kind of like my personality. I don't want to, I
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: didn't want to have another failed relationship. So, you know,
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: and then I think the hardest challenge for me has
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: been trying to forgive myself for staying in places that
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: I should have left, you know, for not reading those
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: red flags or saying, you know, I know it's hard,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: but I, you know, I should have left.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: That is one of the hardest things is grieving your choices.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: And that is like one of the things that I have,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: it's taken the longest in therapy to get over grieving
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: the things that I wish I would have done differently.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Very mad at myself, you know, and why did I,
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: why would I do that?
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: Why, why did I allow that? Or like what in my,
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: you know, and you know, my major relationships that people
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: know me for Oscar and Travis, those ones, I don't
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: really have the biggest regrets about it's a, it's a,
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: a relationship that I had before Greg that I was
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: in for almost five years.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: That was a very abusive relationship.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: And that's the relationship that I really, I go back
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: on often and really like, why? What was it about
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: me at that point in time that was so broken
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: that thought that I was deserving of that? You know,
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: and I had to, that was the kind of therapy
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: I had to go kind of figure out. And I'm
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: still working on that.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: What is your best? And I just, I just posted
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: something on my Instagram about all the things I've learned
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: with co-parenting. Cause it can be very challenging. Um, so
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: I just put like, you know, my tips and tricks
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: out there, but what has been, what is your, what
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: are your best tips for co-parenting? Because especially when people
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: get into new relationships as it's hard, if you're not
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: meshing well with the other person or, you know, whatever
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: it is, what is something that like, if you had
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: a friend that's like, Hey girl, I need your help. Like,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: what are the main things for you that are a
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: either non-negotiables, but also that has worked well for you?
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: Well, you know, co-parenting that can be so difficult for
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: so many people. Um, you know, the one thing my
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: ex and I agree on, it's the only thing my
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: ex and I agree on, cause we don't agree on
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: anything else.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Um, was our children.
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: And that was putting our children first. And so, you know,
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: the first thing I think when it comes to couples
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: and divorce is you can't weaponize your children. You know,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: you can't use your children to get back at your spouse,
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: you know, for whatever, whatever. I don't care how much
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: you hate them. I don't care, you know, you cannot
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: use your children as a weapon against it. Like you
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: really need to sit down with yourself and say, my
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: priority is giving my children the healthiest and best future possible.
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: And that's making, and at the end of the day,
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: whether you like it or not, your child deserves to
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: know their father. Your child deserves to know their mother.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: Whether you respect them or not, it's their parent. And
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: whether they grow up and say, you.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Know what, my father's a piece of shit. I don't
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: like him.
• 16:30
  Speaker 4: That's their road to travel and learn. So you have
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: to allow your children to know their other parent. And
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: you have to put them first. And sometimes that's taking
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: your ego out of it. One thing that Travis and
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: I did that worked really great for us is that
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: we had a nesting arrangement. So our kids actually stayed
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: in one house and he and I went in and out.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: So our kids never went.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: Back and forth.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: And I know that's not an option for a lot
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: of people, you know, but that's something that we did
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: that was really kind of helpful. My kids just stayed
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: in one place and then he went in on his
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: custodial days and then I went into my custodial days and,
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: you know, we were the ones going back and forth.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: So it didn't really interrupt the children. But I just think,
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: you know, my biggest tip is don't reponize your children. Yeah.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: It can be so hard to, when you're so angry
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: at the other person.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: And you know, like, you know, like, look, they, there's days,
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: you know, the court set times and dates for reasons,
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: you know, and it's like, abide by them, you know,
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: follow them, you know, the kids, you know, especially like,
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: you know, there's some parents, you know, they only get
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: their kids every other weekend. You know, they're not like,
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: give your, let your kids go be with their, you know,
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: with their parent, the other, the one weekend, two weekends
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: of the month, you know, we don't need to have
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: to go to the cops to have a child exchange,
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: you know, think how traumatic that is for, for kids. So,
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: I mean, co-parenting is, it's so, so difficult. It's so difficult.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: I think parents who can come together and really do
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: that well, I really applaud them because it's, it's, it's
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: not easy. And sometimes it takes people years, you know,
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: and if it takes you two to three years to
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: kind of find that rhythm and flow, all right, as
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: long as you find that rhythm and flow.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: I got to ask this because, you know, obviously your
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: kids are, you know, out of the house. They're a
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: bit older.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: I'm an empty nester. I know.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: So this is like that. And, you know, this is
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: because I'm still, you know, I pay child support to
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: my to my ex and our kids are still young.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: How is it when they're older? Like and to not
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: have to have that communication with because because I still
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: have to text my ex. And have community. We're in communication.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: We're at the baseball games. We're doing this.
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: It doesn't go away when they're 18, just.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: So you know.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: That's my answer. That's my question. So it doesn't like
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: it's not like you don't have to talk. It probably less.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: It definitely lessens.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: It definitely lessens.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: But like, let's say Alabama, for instance, you know, she
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: deals with a lot of health anxiety. My youngest daughter,
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: she's very vocal about it and she talks about it.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Um, but you know, she.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: Likes to go to the ER every other day. You know,
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: she gets, she thinks she's going to have a brain tumor.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: She goes to the ER. She thinks she's got a sepsis.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: She's got to go to the ER, you know, and,
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: and at this point we're like, go to the ER. So,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: you know, if that's going to make you feel better,
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: but you know, that's something Travis and I have to
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: text each other, you know, did she, are you going
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: to the ER with her this time? Am I going
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: to the ER? You know, are we going to, are
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: we going to, you know, like what are, you know,
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: you know, how's she doing?
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: Is she, is she resting? Is she feeling better?
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: You know, you know, and she's going to be 21,
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: but we still will talk to each other. You know,
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: the kids are in New York. Do you have security
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: with the kids in New York? Yes. The kids have,
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: you know, so we still will text and communicate, even
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: though they're young adults, you know, they're young adults, you know,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: people think, oh, they're 18, but they're still, I mean,
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: I'm 51. They're kids to me, 20, you know, 30
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: is a kid to me. So it's, you know, it's like,
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: they're still like babies. It doesn't really go away.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I have this, um, and my, my, my now husband, he,
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: not that he laughs at me for it, but I
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: have this dream that, you know, whoever my ex marries,
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: like we're going to be best friends and we're going
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: to you know, go on vacations together and like, that
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: could happen.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: But like realistically, like, and that's not my, my husband
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: wouldn't be comfortable with, with that. And I, you know,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: obviously I want to honor like, and who knows, like now,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: right now that he wouldn't be the most comfy with that.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: But if it's something important to me, of course, he'd
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: probably hear me out on it. But I, I don't know, like,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: is that like, is that something you ever thought of
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: or wanted? Or like, how do you, when it comes
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: to like being able to co-parent with another woman, Like,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: how is that dynamic? And, like, what is your biggest
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: tip for when that happens for me?
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: I'm the wrong person to ask that.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Well, I know, like, girl, you've been in the press
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: a little bit with, you know, maybe commenting, comments going away.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: We're laughing.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: We're laughing. I'm just not the right, no, that's, I'm
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: just the wrong person here.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: But that's okay, though, because I'm like, I think it's,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: that can be, you know, probably 90% of, situation I have.
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: Friends that do that you know my best friend in
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: Rhode Island his name's Tama he has a daughter and
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: he and his ex-wife are best friends and their priority
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: was their daughter and they I mean every year I
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: mean he on their on her birthday and Mother's Day
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: I mean he I mean it's a beautiful thing to
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: see people do do it for me it's just the
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: the sadly the uh, opportunity, I guess, with my exes
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: and their, and their particular new partners just wasn't, um,
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: you know, didn't end well with me with those people.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: And so it just, it's never been an option and
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: it's nothing I've ever, ever, uh, wanted to do.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: But I, I, I applaud you for that dream. I
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: will support you.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I think it's just because my kids are little and I,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: it would be, I always think like it'd be something
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: great for them.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: To see their parents like get along, even as friends.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: I think, you know, I think that's a, it's important.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: You know, I try, I try, um, but I, I
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: don't always succeed, you know? Um, But that's the best
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: we can do.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Listen, I get it. You know what I mean? I
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: totally get it.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I mean, that is my Michigan, Detroit can come out
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: too at times. I totally get it. And I always
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: think there's two sides and then the truth.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: So that is what I always, you know, kind of
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: hang my hat on. But the doc that just came out,
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I know it was been like a seven year process.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Did you have any, how were... How do you feel
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: about how it turned out? Because I know I was
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: watching the other doc that Chloe was in that she
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: agreed to. And then she's like, I don't like how
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: it turned out. So I'm curious, I didn't get to
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: finish it. So I don't.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: I didn't watch it. I don't want to watch it.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Do you regret kind of signing up for it then?
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: I regret a lot. Yeah, I wish I didn't do it.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: You know, he asked me to be a part of
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: his book, you know, many, many, I don't even know, 15,
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: almost maybe 20 years ago. And I regretted being a
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: part of that book. And I didn't like how I
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: was edited or portrayed in that book. And it was really,
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: really hurtful, honestly. And I always told myself I wouldn't
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: do it. I don't know how he got me to
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: go and do this documentary. I think it was before
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: he was with his wife. I'm pretty sure. And I
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: just wish I hadn't done it. Because I knew in
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: my heart I wasn't going to be portrayed the way
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: that I felt I deserved. And I, and just the
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: bits and pieces that people have shared with me or
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: told me about, I just was like, yeah, that's kind
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: of what I thought was going to happen.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: So I'm a little disappointed with myself for participating.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Well, no, I mean, it's, I think the fact that
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: you showed up to participate shows your heart in that.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: And then the results can be disappointing that you put
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: in that. And then that's how it, gets twisted and
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: that's yeah that's not fair you know yeah I would
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I could totally understand the disappointment and not for sure
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: absolutely you have your chance you just announced your upcoming
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: memoir is coming out yeah what are you most excited
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: to say and for people to know Gosh, you know, I.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: Just think that there's been a narrative about me for
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: just so long from meet the barkers where, you know,
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: people take a sleep all the time, you know, I mean,
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: just craziness.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Well, listen, how old were you? It was probably hormones
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: and like coming out of motherhood.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: I had, I had, I had three kids under five.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: I had a five, like.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Two people were tired.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: I was pregnant, like leave me alone, you know? And
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: then we were filming all day and everything, but they
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: act like I was like, But it was also supposed
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: to be like sort of like a storyline that was
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: supposed to be funny. But people just, you know, turned
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: it that I'm just like a terrible, neglected mother. But
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: I was just like, oh, wow, I didn't see that coming.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: But it is what it is. But my book, I
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: think I'm just most excited about to show all the
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: different sides of me that people don't know about living
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: in Miami, modeling, the celebrities, New York, moving to LA,
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: early Hollywood, all the celebrities from Jack Nicholson to Sean
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: Penn to Gerard Butler. I mean, I talk about them all.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: And just what that early Hollywood in the 90s was like. And-
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: you know, the Playboy Mansion, Miss USA, you know, Oscar
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: de la Hoya.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: I have a whole, you know, world with him.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: You know, it's not just about, um, Travis. Travis, you know,
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: has a couple chapters, but it's not just about chapters.
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: I want this book to be one that inspires women, um, to, uh,
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: to learn about trauma, trauma bonding, how to get over
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: living through embarrassing things in the public eye, but more
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: than anything, kind of finding that journey back to yourself.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: And it's more about inspiring women, because my fan base
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: is divorced women. It's single moms. How did you get
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: through it? How did you get through seeing him move
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: on with another woman so publicly, so you know, that's
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: the women that write me, you know, so this book
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: is for them.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: It's hard, you know, like it's not, it's not easy
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: going through any of that and then finding your way
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: back to yourself. I have a question. Did you, did
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: you tell any of the people like, Hey, heads up,
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: I'm writing this story about you or like the ones
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: that you just mentioned?
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: No, and I have to definitely make sure legal goes
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: through my book because I talk about a lot of people.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't talk.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: About, it's not about trying to disparage anybody. I'm not
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: trying to make anyone look bad at all. I'm really
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: just trying to share.
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: Where I was, who I was, why I acted the
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: way I acted, what my thought process was, and to
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: share some truths that have been withheld.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: For a long time. And it's, and they're true. They're, they're, they're,
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: they're real.
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: You know, like you said, there's, you know, there's two
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: sides to every story.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Well, there's a lot of.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: My side that has never been shared. And I'm eager
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: to share that, but it's been hard. People don't want
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: to touch my book, you know? And I just, I
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: just think there's people that don't want my book to
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: be read. So, you know, there's powerful people, more powerful
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: than me, but my book will be, will be, if
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: I have to self publish it or not, I'll have
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: my book out.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Well, you should, again, it's your story. And I think
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: that's the thing. Like when I wrote my book, I
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: changed someone's name, but I also, I told my ex,
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like this, it started, and I'm curious how your
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: writing process too, because my book started with me sharing
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of things that now I'm glad I didn't
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: share for my kid's sake. But it was a lot
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: of like about him. And then the book turned into
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: about me, where I was like, and at the end
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: of it too, I was like, listen, I took out
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: these stories and this and that and the other. And
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I said, this is it. you're in it, but it's
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: not about you like at all. So like, here's, here's
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: the manuscript and I would like for you to read
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: it if you'd like to read it. But I did
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: protect like what we have and you know, all the things,
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, it was never,
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: it's not about you. It's about how I move through
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: everything that happened that you also did that I contribute,
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: like all the things, you know? So it's like, you know,
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: my kids.
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: And you know, one of the things that I do
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: talk about is parental alienation, which is a big thing.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: And that's a, a big thing with my fan base
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: as well. Because, you know, when my kids were little
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: and I was going through some difficulties with their dads,
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: I hit it, you know, when you're a mom and you,
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: you know, you, you hide things from your children. You
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: protect your children from certain things that you don't want
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: them to see or know. And you kind of suffer
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: in silence, you know, and, and, I definitely am taking
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: my children's feelings into consideration, but at the same time,
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: you are young adults now. And I think you kind
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: of need to understand why your mom's the crazy mom
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: that she is, you know, why she why I did
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: some of the things I did, because I don't think
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: you understood what was being done or what I was
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: going through during a lot of those years that you
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: were young. And and that was me protecting them. But,
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: you know, they're young adults. There's nothing there that I
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: don't think I can't share with them. But I think
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: a lot of women and parents will relate.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, especially because a lot of those times, and
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I can think back on conversations and just like how
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: I was, it makes me sad. but it's also knowing
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: that like we are even when something was so wrongly
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: done to us we're still protecting our kids to make
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: sure they don't know certain things absolutely yeah you know
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: like I yeah a very vivid vivid memory of something
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: where I had to course correct it so that she
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: wouldn't remember how she saw it in a way Right.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Exactly. Yeah.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: Because I needed to protect her. And it's like, but
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: it's so sad too, you know, because it's.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: I think there's like this quote and I don't, I
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: don't remember, but it was like the the biggest acting
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: job I ever did was when I had to smile
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: with my kids as a mother, when inside I was
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: like crying, you know, it's like terrible version.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: When you walk out of the bathroom from just sobbing
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: and then being like, Hey kiddos.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: Yes. You know, just saw daddy making out with Paris
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: Hilton on DMZ, but I'm so good.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just discovered the 15th affair. Here we go.
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, yes.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: You know, everything's great. Yes. You know, it's like, gosh,
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: it's interesting. And then to have it, you know, play
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: out in public, you know, and having your kids like
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: my kids were in the public eye. So that was
• 30:46
  Speaker 4: a whole other like sort of crazy kind of thing.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Do you regret doing the reality show now looking back?
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Oh no, no.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: It's so crazy though. I look back on it now.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: Sometimes people will send me YouTube clips. I don't even
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: know those people. It's like watching like two strangers.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: No, I don't even know. Like, I'm like, wow, that
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: girl looks fun. Like, who's that?
• 31:18
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't even know who that, who like those
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: people are, you know? So it's so, it's like a
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: time capsule. It's kind of like a cool time capsule,
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: but I just, I don't even, it's like a different,
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: I feel like I've been through 10 lifetimes since then, so.
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: I get that. Would you get married again?
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: Oh my God, yes.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: I want to marry Greg so bad.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's so cute.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: I love this.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: I love him.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: You know that too, obviously, yes.
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: He's, he knows. He's my Southern, he's my good old boy,
• 31:44
  Speaker 4: my Southern gentleman. He's everything.
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: I love that. So that's the thing where it's, it's,
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: I'm like the biggest believer in love. And, you know,
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I've had a couple marriages, but like, I do believe
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: that it's, you know, you do the work on yourself.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: And I just, I'm always the biggest advocate for love.
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: And finding love. I just never wanted to let anybody
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: make me afraid to fall in love again, you know?
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: And Greg has definitely had to eat some other men's
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: sins for breakfast. But the most beautiful thing about him is,
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: you know, the way he communicates and the way he
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: reassures people Me. And he's like, you know, look, I
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: understand why that's triggering, but I'm not that person.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: My therapist always says don't don't give him the punishment
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: of a crime that he didn't commit.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Not something that I think about often because I'm like,
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: you're right. Like I'm I'm giving the energy and the
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: attitude towards my husband when he didn't commit that crime.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: Exactly. Yeah.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: It sneaks in there once in a while, you know.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: Again, and I believe a lot of that is hormonal too.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I really do. I'm not trying to place blame on
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: certain things, but I think it's a combination of all
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: I agree. I'm with you.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: What would be your biggest advice for someone moving into
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: their next chapter? Like, what is the thing that you're like?
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: I think, you know, just like, you know, When I
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: was younger, I just rushed. I rushed. I was like,
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: I want to, I got to get this job.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: I got to get this relationship.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: I got to get this marriage. I got to, you know,
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: I rush, rush, rush.
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: Rush, rush.
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: And I think the biggest thing is starting to just,
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: I guess, allow myself the grace to to heal and
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: to take that time to do the work on myself
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: and to know that it's not going to happen overnight.
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: And there are going to be setbacks and I'm not,
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: I'm not, you know, like I am going to mess up,
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: but I'm going to, you know, give myself grace and,
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: you know, just, you know, it's like, It's like drinking,
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: you know, if you, you know, it's like you want to,
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: I was trying to do this like a two week cleanse,
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: you know, and I'm, and I didn't do it. And
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: so it's like, all right, well then we're going to
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: start over. It's okay to start over again. You know,
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: I think that's a big thing. People, you know, they
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: beat themselves up too much.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I also think too, it's, you know, and,
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: and being on, you know, older and we're, we've all
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: had marriages before, um, you're going to have things you're
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: going to have to work on with your new partner too.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: Everyone's just like, Oh, you've got like, I'm like, yes,
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: like he's amazing. And we still have things we have
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: to work on as our coupleship and also independently too. And,
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: you know, knowing very well that like we're doing that
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: for us. And then for, for again, our coupleship, I
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: think it's, I think one of.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: The hardest things for me too, with Greg was that
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: it was a healthy love.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: I didn't know how to process like, healthy love like
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: I was so used to just drama and trauma and
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: you know well.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: We're not fighting so what are you not do you not.
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: Love me you know why are you like why are
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: you finding fault with me or you know and I
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: had to like there were times I had to really
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: sit back and go you can trust this you can
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: trust this love you can trust this man allow yourself
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: to enjoy this you are deserving of this You know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: and that was like a talk I had like the
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: first year I had to like be like, remind myself
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: you're deserving of that because I like having healthy love
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: was so foreign.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because your system just knows some, you know, again,
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: that that trauma, the fight or flight, the next you're
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: going to drop in fight or flight.
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: And you just always have to protect yourself. But, you know,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: now you've got Blink of an Eye coming out. By
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: the way, nice title.
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: I'm a fan.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: I just got that.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: That took me a second. You're smart. You're very smart.
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: Life goes by in a blink of an eye.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you that, though.
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: You know, life can change just like that. So it's
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: a lot. My life in that book is not just
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: him or his bam, but it's it's. It's a lot
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: of different things you'll see in my book that how
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: your life can just change so quickly. It goes by fast.
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: People don't realize life really does go by fast.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: It does.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: And then you've got the HelloFoxy. So where can everyone,
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: what's the website? Because I was trying to find it.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: It's HelloFoxy. It's Foxy with an I. So just HelloFoxy.com. HelloFoxy.
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: And it's Hello.Foxy at Instagram and HelloFoxyWellness on TikTok.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so excited.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So you can go on there and you can
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: take a quiz and you can kind of share what
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: your concerns are. We'll put you with a physician and
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: we'll get you like an amazing program. And we don't
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: leave you. You know, we we follow up with you.
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: We we have, you know, at home blood kits, you know,
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: so you don't even have to go to the lab.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: You can do it in the privacy of your own home.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: It's really, really beautiful.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: And we have everything.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: So we're going to have peptides. We have peptides, GLPs.
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: We have hormone replacement therapy. We have sexual wellness. So
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: it's not just for men. We have everything from creams, trokies.
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: We have, you know, nasal sprays, you know, and enhance
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: her pleasure because it's about time our pleasure was enhanced.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: Have you tried the oxytocin for nasal spray?
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I have.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: Yes, I have. It's fun.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Okay. I just got it. What do you mean fun?
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: What does it do? Because I haven't tried it yet
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: and I'm so afraid of trying anything.
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: It like heightens the sensations, you know. It's just like
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: really good. It's going to give you that O, that
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: extra O that you're looking for.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, OK. Yeah.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Here we go.
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: I was. Yeah. My doctor prescribed it for like anxiety.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah. You can have it for anxiety, but also like
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: for women's like, you know, obviously women in menopause, like
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: there's lots of changes, you know, with.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: Like vaginal dryness.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: It can be uncomfortable.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: It can be painful. You know, there's just all different
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: kinds of things going on down there.
• 37:34
  Speaker 4: And we want to keep women happy and healthy because
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: we should be enjoying sex more. well into our 80s
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: is just like men. So you know, Robert De Niro
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: has a three year old. We should be enjoying, you know,
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: sexual wellness as well. So and I also sell ED
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: products for men on there as well, you know, because
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: we want our partners to be, you know, because so
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: many men to, you know, when their testosterone drops, you know,
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: they start having problems. And then that can affect our relationships,
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: because they're embarrassed to talk to you because they can't.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: Get it up or, you know, whatever.
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: And we want them to be feeling confident and sexy
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: as well. So there's a whole little, whole little line
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: on there for men and women. Yes.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: There, I mean, there's some amazing, amazing products in here.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: I'm looking at all of them. This is awesome. Well,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: thank you so much for coming on. I appreciate you
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: sharing all the things.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: You are so sweet and so refreshing just to have
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: a really nice conversation and not have to get all
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: in the, the, the gossip of life. So I appreciate you.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: I was like the last thing. It's just, it's just fun.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: to relate to someone that we've, you know, we might
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: not have been through the exact same things, but we're on,
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: on the journey of it all. So thanks for being open.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I appreciate it.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much.
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: I had so much fun.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: Bye girl.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Are you trying to navigate your life in chapter two,
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: but need some advice? Well, we're here to help you
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I do part two and I heart radio podcast. We're
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: falling in love is the main objective.