Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E49 - Halloween Costumes

Transcript

S2 E49 - Halloween Costumes · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Stephen Jeff Show, the first comedy podcast in the history of the world.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: Assuming the world began when I started talking.
0:12
SPEAKER_03: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:18
SPEAKER_03: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:20
SPEAKER_03: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:24
SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you, Johnny.
0:26
SPEAKER_03: And gosh, Jeff, it is great to be back.
0:28
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's autumn, it's fall, it's getting dark, it's getting cold, it's getting old.
0:33
SPEAKER_03: Wait, no, I'm getting old, it's getting dark.
0:36
SPEAKER_03: And we're almost at Halloween.
0:37
SPEAKER_03: It's Halloween season, Jeff.
0:39
SPEAKER_03: Great to be back in the studio, though, isn't it?
0:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:41
SPEAKER_03: How's it going, Steve?
0:42
SPEAKER_03: This time of year, I mean, thinking about Halloween, Halloween is always a fun time.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: Do you do stuff on Halloween?
0:48
SPEAKER_02: I do, although in our family, it's kind of weird because it all started with a grocery ad online.
0:56
SPEAKER_02: It had specials like corned beef and stuff like that.
0:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:59
SPEAKER_02: And it was called St.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: Patrick's Day week.
1:02
SPEAKER_03: Ah, yes.
1:03
SPEAKER_03: Which is, I think.
1:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:05
SPEAKER_02: It's it's like or half St.
1:07
SPEAKER_02: Patrick's Day, right?
1:08
SPEAKER_02: It's half.
1:09
SPEAKER_02: And Kathy, who is Irish Catholic, has been pretty much drunk since.
1:14
SPEAKER_02: So she is ready for Halloween in its full glory.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: And I think she'll be going as a drunk Irish person.
1:21
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Jeff, my mom's been drunk since St.
1:23
SPEAKER_03: Patrick's Day, 1953.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, come on.
1:27
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, no problem there.
1:29
SPEAKER_03: But we always used to go out and go to parties and stuff.
1:32
SPEAKER_03: You know, in fact, I remember a couple of years ago, we went to this great party.
1:35
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we dressed up as zombies.
1:37
SPEAKER_03: It was a zombie party, you know.
1:38
SPEAKER_03: And you remember a couple years ago when Walking Dead was still like only in its 25th season, you know, and we went to zombies and oh they really did it up.
1:48
SPEAKER_03: They had this whole they had a long table, like a buffet, and it was like steak tartare with rare roast beef, and it was and no and no utensils.
1:56
SPEAKER_03: You just put your face into it or hands.
1:58
SPEAKER_03: It's just uh oh, it was fun, it was so much fun.
2:01
SPEAKER_03: My mom stayed three, four days and just you know, finished the steak tartare, in fact.
2:06
SPEAKER_03: But yeah, what about you, Jeff?
2:07
SPEAKER_03: Any memorable Halloweens?
2:09
SPEAKER_02: Well, last year, I don't know if you remember, Steve, but I went as myself.
2:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's gonna scare people right there, you know.
2:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: And you know, the backstory or the front story is that, you know, I had a nose job and you know, I had my old nose taken off and new nose put on, and I kept that old nose.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: So I actually reinserted that nose thank to thanks to Dr.
2:30
SPEAKER_02: Rhino's consulting.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: And I went as my old self.
2:34
SPEAKER_03: Very scary.
2:35
SPEAKER_03: You got like a combo Jeff and and a little Frankenstein going on there, too, with the body parts, you know, you're putting them on.
2:41
SPEAKER_03: And that's wow, that's pretty cool.
2:43
SPEAKER_03: You know, kind of reminds me of a story, Jeff.
2:45
SPEAKER_03: You know, a friend of mine, Mary, I knew her back in college.
2:49
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you ever met Mary.
2:50
SPEAKER_03: I may have talked about her.
2:52
SPEAKER_03: You know, we we knew each other for a bunch of years in college and kind of lost touch and everything.
2:56
SPEAKER_03: She called me last year, yeah, right around Halloween.
2:59
SPEAKER_03: So she got divorced from her husband.
3:01
SPEAKER_03: They'd been married 35 years.
3:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh man.
3:03
SPEAKER_03: Got divorced from her husband because of a Halloween party that they went to.
3:07
SPEAKER_03: I mean, can you imagine that?
3:09
SPEAKER_03: What happened?
3:10
SPEAKER_03: Mary and her husband, Rich, was her husband.
3:13
SPEAKER_03: Uh, he was not rich, but his name was Rich.
3:15
SPEAKER_03: He was uh mostly broke, but uh it's maybe another reason they got divorced.
3:20
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but but I digress.
3:22
SPEAKER_03: They were going to this really cool Halloween party.
3:24
SPEAKER_03: It was almost one of those, almost one of those eyes wide shut things, you know, it was very swanky.
3:29
SPEAKER_03: They all wore masks and they were in tuxes and very cool outfits and all.
3:34
SPEAKER_03: So they're getting ready to leave to go to the party.
3:37
SPEAKER_03: And Mary comes down with a headache.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: Now she used to get headaches in college too.
3:41
SPEAKER_03: She's had head always had headaches.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: Weed used to work for her, but you know, see, she lives in Nebraska now and she is hard to get weed.
3:48
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, she's I never I never get the headaches.
3:50
SPEAKER_02: I never get headaches.
3:51
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I know, you probably because of the weed.
3:53
SPEAKER_03: You're probably headache free.
3:54
SPEAKER_03: You could live to 150 and you would not have a headache ever.
3:57
SPEAKER_03: I I would not it wouldn't occur to you.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: But uh so she is this headache, and she said, uh tells Rich, you know, it's look, look, I I just don't feel like going, but you know, you're dressed and it's it should be a fun time.
4:09
SPEAKER_03: Why don't you go to the party?
4:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no reason you should not go because I have a headache.
4:13
SPEAKER_03: Just yeah, go ahead and you know, just have fun.
4:15
SPEAKER_03: So he leaves, goes to the party.
4:16
SPEAKER_03: A little while later, her headache gets better.
4:19
SPEAKER_03: She says, you know, I kind of feel like going now.
4:22
SPEAKER_03: So she puts her costume back on, goes to the party.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: She goes there, she's Rich on the dance floor, dancing with these really scantily dressed.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: You know how Halloween costumes are all like slutty, slutty, yeah, slutty waitress, slutty nurse, slutty whatever, you know, slutty astronauts.
4:39
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's just all this stuff, you know.
4:41
SPEAKER_03: So it was one of the it was one of those, dancing with her, right?
4:44
SPEAKER_03: And she goes up because you know, she thinks that's her husband, right?
4:49
SPEAKER_03: And he turns to her and he says, Hey, how about we go out to the car?
4:54
SPEAKER_03: And so go out to this car, and you know, they fool around.
4:58
SPEAKER_03: They have it just like back in college, and and you know, what as far as I know, there wasn't weed involved, so but it is wild, you know.
5:05
SPEAKER_03: So kind of a way to spice up the the marriage, right?
5:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh absolutely, absolutely.
5:10
SPEAKER_03: So she goes home, takes off her masks and outfit, and gets in bed.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: Rich walks in then after a few minutes after that, and she says, Well, did you have a good time?
5:20
SPEAKER_03: Did you dance much?
5:21
SPEAKER_03: So Rich says, uh, you know, I never have any fun if I'm not there with you.
5:26
SPEAKER_03: I got there, I a couple other guys and I, we just went and played cards.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: I left my costume to Lenny.
5:31
SPEAKER_03: Uh he just called, he said he had a great time.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: That's too bad.
5:34
SPEAKER_02: Although it isn't her fault, but it I would you would hate to have somebody ruin a marriage because of that.
5:39
SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
5:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but sad story.
5:42
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, funny, the good news is she ended up marrying Lenny.
5:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, there you go.
5:46
SPEAKER_03: The way I understand it, and she called me, you know, not too long ago.
5:50
SPEAKER_03: She said they still make love in their costumes.
5:53
SPEAKER_03: It's full eyes wide shut.
5:54
SPEAKER_03: They are taking a slutty astronaut to the next level, no pun intended, you know.
5:59
SPEAKER_02: That's an interesting story.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: And I am interested in going to Halloween parties again, but you know, Steve, I've I'm so old and I just I have no idea what to wear.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: I have no idea what to go as.
6:11
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, should I go like as a hobo or I don't I don't know what to do?
6:17
SPEAKER_02: Where do you come up with your ideas?
6:19
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's been so long, I don't really know what people are wearing these days.
6:23
SPEAKER_03: You know, hey, I'm old too.
6:24
SPEAKER_03: What the heck, you know?
6:25
SPEAKER_03: But you know, Miss Claire, producer, invited me to this party and she started showing me some of the costumes.
6:30
SPEAKER_03: I, you know, I didn't really get a good look.
6:32
SPEAKER_03: I got as far as the numb chucks that were attached to the costume, and I I got a little frightened, you know, Miss Claire.
6:39
SPEAKER_03: I was a little worried what was going to happen there.
6:42
SPEAKER_03: But she said to this party, you don't have to wear a costume.
6:46
SPEAKER_03: In fact, you don't have to wear anything.
6:47
SPEAKER_03: I mean, talk about eyes wide shut.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: I mean, this was really she was going full bore here.
6:52
SPEAKER_03: It's been a long time since I really dressed up.
6:54
SPEAKER_03: I don't I don't know what to wear.
6:55
SPEAKER_03: Wouldn't it be great if we had somebody on this show in the studio right now that could tell us what would be good to wear for Halloween?
7:03
SPEAKER_03: Wouldn't that be good?
7:04
SPEAKER_03: You mean like my dad?
7:05
SPEAKER_03: You know, now your dad probably knows a lot.
7:07
SPEAKER_03: He probably wears a lot of orange around Halloween, right?
7:10
SPEAKER_03: Which is one of the Halloween colors, right?
7:12
SPEAKER_03: Orange and black, right?
7:13
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
7:13
SPEAKER_03: There you go.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: So Stateville is very popular.
7:16
SPEAKER_03: One of the reasons they're popular Halloween, there's other is places haunted outside of that.
7:21
SPEAKER_03: But yeah, yeah.
7:22
SPEAKER_03: But no, Jeff, it's not your dad.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: It is just the other side of that glass.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: I know you remember her.
7:28
SPEAKER_03: We have a fashion influencer that has been on this show before, Jeff.
7:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
7:35
SPEAKER_03: It's been a while.
7:36
SPEAKER_03: You know her name.
7:37
SPEAKER_03: Chrysanthemum.
7:38
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you can I don't know if you can say it.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: Chrysonem.
7:41
SPEAKER_02: Chrysanthemum.
7:43
SPEAKER_03: Oh, here we are back.
7:44
SPEAKER_03: That was her.
7:45
SPEAKER_03: We're we're back with the Mike Tyson imitations, aren't we?
7:47
SPEAKER_03: Come on.
7:48
SPEAKER_03: We can't do this.
7:49
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna go with Mike Tyson.
7:50
SPEAKER_03: It is Chrysanthemum.
7:51
SPEAKER_03: Chrysanthemum, welcome to the show.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me back.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: And that's right, it's pronounced Chrysanthemum.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: Chrysanthemum Mum Sunflower Rainbow Sunshine.
8:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's so many beautiful names there, Jeff.
8:07
SPEAKER_03: I am just I'm so excited.
8:08
SPEAKER_03: So, Chrysanthemum, first, before we get into the Halloween specifics, you know, because there's a lot of stuff to talk about with the Halloween specifics.
8:15
SPEAKER_03: Uh how's the whole fashion influencing world these days?
8:18
SPEAKER_03: Is it still as vibrant and hopping as it was when we had you on the show?
8:22
SPEAKER_03: It's about a year, a little over a year ago, probably we had you on the show.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Fashion is always in fashion.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: And I think the outfits you wear every day should be like your Halloween costume.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: And that you only wear it once and then you throw it away because there's no reason to wear the same thing twice.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: It it'll biodegrade or disintegrate or whatever in a thousand years.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: So who cares?
8:51
SPEAKER_03: And that would really save on laundry costs, you know.
8:54
SPEAKER_03: I mean, if we just throw it away, I would never have to do laundry, that'd be perfect.
8:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, and I I don't know what what costumes you're gonna be recommending, but I want to go as you and that voice.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: I if I went as you, I think that would I would be the hit of a party.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: Leave the old nose home, though.
9:10
SPEAKER_03: It's probably true.
9:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm honored that I could be such an inspiration.
9:17
SPEAKER_03: You are indeed an inspiration for Santhemum, and I'm so you're welcome.
9:23
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
9:24
SPEAKER_03: I I knew it was coming.
9:26
SPEAKER_03: Me too.
9:27
SPEAKER_03: You're such a help to old guys like us, because you know, you reach a certain age and Halloween isn't about going door to door and snoring candy off people, like it always was, which that was one of my favorite things actually back in the day.
9:41
SPEAKER_03: You go like beat people up for candy.
9:44
SPEAKER_03: But old folks like us really don't know what to wear.
9:47
SPEAKER_03: You know, we don't know what's trending.
9:49
SPEAKER_03: So maybe you could help us out.
9:51
SPEAKER_03: What's really hot for Halloween this year?
9:55
SPEAKER_00: The most important thing is your costume has to be slutty.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: If it's not slutty, then you might as well stay home.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: If it doesn't feel like your tits are about to freeze off your body, you're wearing too much clothes.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: No sweater weather here.
10:16
SPEAKER_03: I that must be what Miss Claire is going for.
10:19
SPEAKER_03: She's going for the the full, I mean, not just like lightly slutty, she's going for like full exposure.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: The level of commitment that I want to see.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: What's funny is that I was invited to the same party as you were, Steve, with Miss Claire, and she recommended I go as a slutty Nazi, which I thought was kind of interesting, you know.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: And I guess I could show my breasts.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: You have those Nazi, those SS outfits where it's kind of crossed over.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: So is that what we're talking about here?
10:51
SPEAKER_02: Slutty, slutty Nazis.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: We should be uh sticking more professional, like the medical profession.
11:00
SPEAKER_03: Oh, like doctors, slutty doctors, slutty doctor, but you can't just be a slutty doctor.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: That is essay.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: You have to be uh more specific, like a slutty gynecologist.
11:17
SPEAKER_03: That goes hand in hand, so to speak, you know.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: I mean that's just yes, and you can even do it as a couple's costume, so one of you is the slutty gynecologist, and then it's obvious what the other person dresses as, they dress as the car that Lenny and his new wife were in at the Halloween party.
11:40
SPEAKER_03: Wow, Jeff, that sounds like a great combo.
11:42
SPEAKER_03: I maybe I could go with my mom, I could have Johnny be the car, you know.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: That could that could work out, you know.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, and Steve, you have kind of a history about cars anyway.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: So I do, I I do, I so I think this would work out great.
11:54
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'd have Johnny go as a 65 in palette.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, ooh-hoo.
11:58
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I don't know if I could contain myself, but I digress.
12:02
SPEAKER_03: Slutty gynecologist.
12:03
SPEAKER_03: Wow, who who could have seen that one coming, right?
12:06
SPEAKER_03: I mean, come on, right?
12:08
SPEAKER_03: So are there other doctor specialties, medical field specialties that are really hot this year?
12:15
SPEAKER_00: A slutty dentist.
12:17
SPEAKER_03: I predict that.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I predict this will be one of the hottest Halloween costumes of all time.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: Uh you're welcome.
12:26
SPEAKER_03: That gives you meaning to that old blues lyric, you know, you thrill me when you drill me, you know.
12:31
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, yeah.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: That was about root canal.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: What else would that be about?
12:36
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
12:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
12:37
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's about a dentist.
12:38
SPEAKER_03: It's a song.
12:39
SPEAKER_03: She's singing the song about her dentist.
12:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, yeah.
12:41
SPEAKER_03: So slutty dentist.
12:43
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: I like that.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: I I every dentist I've ever had was slutty.
12:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, they shoot you out.
12:50
SPEAKER_03: I, you know, every dentist I've had has been 78 years old and said, Yeah, those look like teeth.
12:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: I mean, well, I don't I don't know that for sure, but I know that they always put me under even for regular checkups.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: And then I wake up and you know, my pants are unzipped and stuff.
13:05
SPEAKER_02: So I assume that it was the dentist who was slutty, could have been somebody else.
13:09
SPEAKER_03: You know, you never know.
13:10
SPEAKER_03: You get those big dental practices, people are walking in and out all the time, could be a pharmacy pharmacy rep or something.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: Who knows?
13:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and in fairness, I I oftentimes uh go to the dentist with my zipper down.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was already.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I was the slut I was the slutty dentist patient.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: Slutty patient.
13:27
SPEAKER_03: Could that be like a combo outfit where you get a slutty dentist and you get a slutty patient?
13:32
SPEAKER_00: No, I think the obvious combo there is to be the slutty dentist and the slutty car with Lenny and his new buttons.
13:43
SPEAKER_03: In that 65 impound.
13:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, that makes total sense.
13:47
SPEAKER_03: So medical is really the place to be, sounds like.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes, medical or comcast.
13:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Comcast.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: Some of our good friends over at Comcast, yes.
13:58
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
13:59
SPEAKER_03: And that's scary.
14:00
SPEAKER_03: Just the word Comcast is scary to me.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: The one bright spot of when I moved out of Chicago was I no longer have Comcast.
14:08
SPEAKER_03: I had to give up a lot, but hey, I don't have Comcast anymore.
14:11
SPEAKER_03: So that was but slutty Comcast people?
14:14
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: So that's so important because communication, Halloween, sluttiness, you're welcome.
14:25
SPEAKER_03: And that'd be like cable slut, right?
14:27
SPEAKER_03: That'd be like the late night cable slut.
14:30
SPEAKER_03: Well, and wireless too, right?
14:32
SPEAKER_03: I mean, well, true, yeah.
14:33
SPEAKER_02: I guess Wi-Fi, yeah.
14:35
SPEAKER_02: Wi-Fi would probably be a part of that too.
14:37
SPEAKER_02: Would it be just the cost uh I was gonna say Costco, but God forbid, you know, Costco's like a saint in my family.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, St.
14:46
SPEAKER_03: Costco, same St.
14:47
SPEAKER_03: John Costco, yeah.
14:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was the patron of patron of retail, yeah.
14:51
SPEAKER_03: No, I told you we were well versed in that, yeah.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we named our dog Kirkland after Costco, which that's how much we love Costco.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: And another dog named Ellis, and you'd have a law firm there, but I digress.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: When it when it's back to Comcast, though, are there specific types of Comcast employees that people tend to dress up as?
15:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you can be the Comcast employee that fixes the Comcast box, you can be the Comcast employee that drives the car of the other Comcast employee to fix the box.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: You can be the car, a slutty car.
15:36
SPEAKER_03: Ah, slutty car.
15:38
SPEAKER_03: You know, I like slutty cars, me too.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: So there's a wide variety, of course.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: The perfect pairing is if you are a slutty Comcast worker and another slutty Comcast worker.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to overthink it.
15:57
SPEAKER_03: Wow, and it does take two, because I remember last place I lived in Chicago, we had a Comcast guy over, he was there most of the day trying to hook the thing up, and and I think I knew more than he did.
16:07
SPEAKER_03: So they do come in pairs because they only know half and they have to help each other.
16:12
SPEAKER_03: It's kind of touching in a way, but it's kind of stupid in another way.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: Romantic.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: Romance is always stupid.
16:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I couldn't have put it any better myself.
16:22
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, yes, absolutely true.
16:24
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: I remember that the last time we had a Comcast guy, he had his pants really low, and you know, he was always getting down on all fours looking for cable wire.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: It was scary, I have to tell you.
16:37
SPEAKER_03: You see, he probably thinks he's pulling off the slutty look, but he's not, is he?
16:42
SPEAKER_03: He's not.
16:43
SPEAKER_03: He is not, he's not making it.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: No, because there's still pants.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: Right.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: Like I said, it's the fact that it is late October is no excuse.
16:54
SPEAKER_04: Right.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: You have to sacrifice your own well-being for fashion.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: If you catch pneumonia, then you know you've done it right.
17:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, just because it's a little cold doesn't mean you gotta compromise on a a principled Halloween costume.
17:13
SPEAKER_03: You know, exactly.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: You could also dress up as slutty pneumonia.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: That's going to be another top costume this year.
17:22
SPEAKER_03: As a disease, like a slutty disease.
17:24
SPEAKER_03: Slutty pneumonia, yeah.
17:25
SPEAKER_03: Slutty COVID was really big a few years ago.
17:27
SPEAKER_03: I know that, but uh slutty pneumonia now.
17:30
SPEAKER_03: Hey.
17:31
SPEAKER_00: Because slutty COVID is so overdone now.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, yes.
17:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, about four years ago, everybody was going to slutty COVID.
17:39
SPEAKER_03: In fact, I think that's when that zombie party was now that I think about it.
17:43
SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: But uh I think you're right.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: Any other categories that we should be thinking about?
17:48
SPEAKER_02: We haven't even talked about Verizon, but I'm assuming we're done with the communication category.
17:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if a slutty comcast, uh, costume where runs across a slutty Verizon costume weber.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: They have to fight to the death.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: I don't make the rules.
18:08
SPEAKER_03: I would pay to watch that.
18:09
SPEAKER_03: I really can't stand either company, so I would I would pay to watch that.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: And Steve, I think you do pay to watch that.
18:18
SPEAKER_02: They compete with each other all the time.
18:19
SPEAKER_03: I'm paying a ton, and I'm not, and I'm not watching it, but I I should.
18:23
SPEAKER_03: Those are great categories.
18:24
SPEAKER_03: I kind of like going as the car, as you might imagine, but I'm liking some of these retail and medical options, those are kind of cool.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: Now and of course, there is also JD Vance's favorite, the slutty cat lady.
18:41
SPEAKER_03: Ooh.
18:42
SPEAKER_03: I bet she's sitting on a couch too, isn't she?
18:45
SPEAKER_03: I bet she is.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's that's the couple cosplay.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: The cat lady and the couch together.
18:53
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
18:54
SPEAKER_03: This is really exciting, Jeff.
18:55
SPEAKER_03: I, you know, I could actually maybe I could even bring my cat, you know.
18:58
SPEAKER_03: That'd be that'd be really cool.
19:00
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: I know I was scared during the debate.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: You know, he scared me a little bit.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: I was also thinking about going as as Tim, you know, as the coach.
19:09
SPEAKER_02: Is politics in?
19:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: Is that is that something that we should be looking at?
19:14
SPEAKER_00: It's an election year, so that's trending.
19:19
SPEAKER_00: And like I always say, you have to follow every single trend all of the time.
19:25
SPEAKER_03: That's why they're trends.
19:27
SPEAKER_03: I mean, if if if we weren't supposed to follow them, they wouldn't be trends, right?
19:32
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: That's what it's all about.
19:35
SPEAKER_03: Or the trend to be so ask my nine followers.
19:42
SPEAKER_03: Jeff, did you drop off?
19:44
SPEAKER_03: I thought she had ten before.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: I was a follower, but you know, I have Comcast.
19:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, explains it.
19:50
SPEAKER_03: So it probably hasn't it probably hasn't shown up yet.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: Uh I mean he only followed you like a year ago, so it's probably not there yet.
19:57
SPEAKER_03: But uh, you know, just be patient, it'll it'll be there.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I'm pretty lucky that this uh this whole show is even working at this point.
20:04
SPEAKER_03: So well, I and actually we don't know that it will.
20:07
SPEAKER_03: I mean we don't we're we're in media's race, as they might say.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: No, our our numbers kind of look like they they probably don't work, like maybe they don't work.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: That's the problem.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, uh I knew I knew Comcast was behind it somewhere.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh Comcast always, but thankfully they couldn't Comcast couldn't stop me from bringing someone with me to also talk about slutty Halloween costume.
20:33
SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh yes, Jeff, there's someone else back in the in the studio uh behind the glass.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: So wear a costume and still be relevant, lack them young folks.
21:02
SPEAKER_03: You know, that was brilliant and entertaining.
21:04
SPEAKER_03: I I missed some of the content, but that was that was really good.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: Do I need to turn down my voice won't work?
21:18
SPEAKER_01: All right, I think I got it now.
21:21
SPEAKER_03: Oh, there we go.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: It's so good, good to be back with you, young folks.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: I was just saying, Chris Anthem said that a slutty Halloween costume and a slutty cat lady with me and my 300 kitties are gonna be getting out there this year.
21:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, myself back on the market, and I'm trendy.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: You know, it reminds me, Steve, that I went as uh slutty Sybil one year.
21:55
SPEAKER_02: And you had several albums.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: Very popular.
21:57
SPEAKER_03: I did have changing he got like 12 different albums.
22:00
SPEAKER_03: You go, oh, I'll be right back.
22:01
SPEAKER_03: I gotta go change, you know, and become something else.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Slutty Sisyphus and a slutty rock.
22:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: That just came to me.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: It was my inspiration.
22:14
SPEAKER_03: I may do that.
22:15
SPEAKER_03: Slutty Sisyphus?
22:17
SPEAKER_03: I think that's pronounced syphilis.
22:19
SPEAKER_03: Well, there's that you could do slutty syphilis.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: This is one of the diseases.
22:22
SPEAKER_03: It's like it's like pneumonia, right?
22:23
SPEAKER_03: Sluddy pneumonia.
22:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm so sorry.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: Can you give me a moment?
22:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh shit.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: Get your cats out of the report! Your bag is up here! Sorry about that.
22:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
22:43
SPEAKER_03: No, I I know I'm a I'm a cat owner myself, and sometimes they just go where they want to go and whether you like it or not.
22:50
SPEAKER_03: I no, I get that.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: Yes, well, they need to learn to just listen to whatever I say and do what I want them to do.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Just like my nine followers.
23:05
SPEAKER_03: And that is the role of an influencer is to tell people what to do, and the people's role is to do it, right?
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm used to that concept.
23:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they don't obey too well.
23:23
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that was that was last week's show.
23:26
SPEAKER_03: In that political realm, I mean, J the J D Vance costumes and you know, slutty cat slutty cat lady.
23:32
SPEAKER_03: Uh you know, wait, I I think I married a slutty cat lady now that I think about it, but but slutty cat lady.
23:39
SPEAKER_03: Uh are there other political costumes that that are really popular that are going out there that people should really pay attention to?
23:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh yes.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: A slutty lawyer that quit because the politician they were working for was like super corrupt and they couldn't do it anymore.
24:02
SPEAKER_00: So that could be Trump's lawyer, that could be Trump's other lawyer, or of course my personal favorite, the former lawyer of NYC Mayor Eric Adams.
24:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
24:19
SPEAKER_03: That seems to be a real trend among indicted and felonious politicians is not paying their lawyers.
24:26
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
24:27
SPEAKER_03: You would think, I mean, I don't know.
24:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm just an amateur criminal, but you know, if I was gonna commit crimes and wanted to get away with it, I'd probably I'd probably pay the lawyer, you know?
24:36
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I don't know.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: And you should also make sure you dress like a criminal.
24:43
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: Because everyone will think it's too obvious and they'll dismiss you as a red herring.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
24:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, and slutty criminal, right?
24:53
SPEAKER_02: Slutty criminal is even more important.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: One year I went as a slutty red herring, which is hard because you know I I don't have red hair.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't have any hair.
25:02
SPEAKER_03: But uh and that that'd be okay if you went to like a dairy delicatessen, you know.
25:06
SPEAKER_03: Slutty, slutty hearing.
25:08
SPEAKER_03: All right, yeah, they slap you on the bagel, right?
25:10
SPEAKER_03: It'd be it'd be fine.
25:11
SPEAKER_03: Hey, sounds pretty good.
25:12
SPEAKER_03: No, I I said slutty hearing, red hearing.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh I'm sorry, I may have been have not said that.
25:19
SPEAKER_03: Oh, so you didn't so it's a red here.
25:20
SPEAKER_03: You didn't pay your lawyer either, then, right?
25:22
SPEAKER_03: So you just had to do the hearing all on your own.
25:25
SPEAKER_03: There you go.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: At least you wore red.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure that helped.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Red is the least suspicious color.
25:33
SPEAKER_02: It blends right in.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Like last time, I've taken copious notes here on uh different outfits.
25:41
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I think I've got a full list now, Steve.
25:44
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm kind of ready.
25:45
SPEAKER_02: I still don't think I'm going to Miss Claire's party.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: I just think that's too dangerous.
25:49
SPEAKER_03: I'd like to just to see what it's like, and yeah, it'd be good to get out and good to have a little fun.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: But you know, I the the idea of numb chucks and no costumes, you put those two together, and I'm I'm I'm getting I'm getting like a picture that makes Game of Thrones look like romper room.
26:05
SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
26:06
SPEAKER_03: I I'm I don't know if I'm liking this.
26:08
SPEAKER_03: Could end poorly for me, right?
26:11
SPEAKER_03: For a lot of us, you know.
26:12
SPEAKER_03: Chrysanthemum.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: Ah, here we go.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: Chrysanthemum, my name once again is Chrysanthemum wisteria, rose petal, thorn.
26:25
SPEAKER_02: Thorn, weed, not weed.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: Right.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: Not weed.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: We not weed weed, not weed.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:30
SPEAKER_02: Steve, I don't know about you, but I would feel better if maybe she joined us at a party because she's just so classy, you know?
26:38
SPEAKER_02: And I consider being with other people who are well dressed almost as good as being well dressed yourself.
26:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you mean having Chris Anthem join us at a party?
26:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, I think that'd be great.
26:50
SPEAKER_03: That'd be outstanding.
26:51
SPEAKER_03: It's up to her, but I I'd be for it.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: I'll have to check my calendar.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm very busy with my nine followers.
27:01
SPEAKER_03: I bet, because you know, they're only seven days in a week and you got nine followers.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean exactly.
27:07
SPEAKER_03: That's gonna double up.
27:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you gotta tag team them or do a couple on weekends or whatever, you know.
27:14
SPEAKER_03: I imagine that would be tough.
27:15
SPEAKER_03: But listen, uh, Chris Anthem, I want to thank you so much for coming into our studio tonight and really setting us straight on the Halloween mysteries that we had and and the just the confusion.
27:26
SPEAKER_03: And I think now, I think now we're clear that we gotta dress sluttier, Jeff.
27:30
SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna be a slutty 65 Impala, which I always wanted to be, so there we are.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
27:37
SPEAKER_02: I and I I think I'll go as a slutty me with uh a different nose.
27:43
SPEAKER_02: Maybe a slutty nose.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
27:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, if I can find one, you know, that might work.
27:47
SPEAKER_03: I bet they make slutty noses.
27:49
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, chrysanthemum for for being on our show and really helping us out here.
27:53
SPEAKER_03: I think you deserve some prizes.
27:56
SPEAKER_03: So, Johnny, what do we have for chrysanthemum?
27:59
SPEAKER_03: Right, Steve?
27:59
SPEAKER_03: Chrysanthemum can fully flower when she spends a luxurious two nights, marked down from three nights, at the Metro's shadowy yet technically contagious Harney Hotel, where every fashion is out of style and every guest inquiry goes into a deep dark pit.
28:16
SPEAKER_03: She'll have the time of her life at the Harney's formerly stylish rendezvous bar, where grandma can even get a date if she's not too picky.
28:24
SPEAKER_03: Just keep your eyes wide shut and you won't notice the mold.
28:27
SPEAKER_03: Remember, if you think you're in hell, you're at the Harney Hotel.
28:32
SPEAKER_03: And for her Halloween party fun, she will receive her choice of costumes for herself and a guest.
28:38
SPEAKER_03: She can choose from Slutty Bricklayer, Slutty DV employee, or Jeff's favorite, Slutty Stripper.
28:46
SPEAKER_03: All courtesy of the good people at Slutwear Clothing, an appropriation station company.
28:51
SPEAKER_03: And best of all, she and Grandma will both be enrolled in a lifetime non-cancelable agreement with Comcast and Verizon.
29:00
SPEAKER_03: They'll start with a low-low rate for the first 90 minutes, and then rates can go up, but they can never get out.
29:07
SPEAKER_03: Enjoy the freedom of never having to switch.
29:10
SPEAKER_03: Comcast and Verizon.
29:12
SPEAKER_03: You serve them.
29:14
SPEAKER_03: This has been a slutty and palette production in association with Kubrick Media.
29:18
SPEAKER_03: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
29:26
SPEAKER_03: This is Johnny speaking.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: Steve's mom and I have big plans for Halloween.
29:30
SPEAKER_03: We're going to dress as bowling pins and hang out in the new psychedelic section at Appropriation Lane's.
29:37
SPEAKER_03: At least that's what I think she meant when she said she wanted to strip down and hang out in the alley.
29:42
SPEAKER_03: I guess I'll find out.
29:45
SPEAKER_03: Good night.