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What happens when you talk about your feelings with a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So what happens when you talk about your feelings with a
• 0:04
  narcissist? What goes on in the mind of a
• 0:08
  narcissist? How does this scenario play out
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  when you go to a narcissist and you look them directly in a
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  little beady narcissistic eyes and you say.
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  Hey, honey, babe. Boo, can we talk about my
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  feelings? What would happen when?
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  What happens when that happens? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnose narcissist
• 0:35
  myself, and I'll give you the inside look at the mind of a
• 0:39
  narcissist. And yeah, talking feelings and
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  narcissists typically don't go well in the same sentence.
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  Let's let's keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar's
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  Pizza, like we always try to do on this channel.
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  Talking about your feelings and dealing with a narcissistic
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  person do not typically go hand in hand, right?
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  It it just doesn't work that way.
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  Y'all, I'm sorry. I don't make the rules.
• 1:02
  I just talk about them. I don't even, yeah, I don't even
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  enforce the rules. I just talk about them.
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  That's what, hey, that's what I do.
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  That's what I do here. So let's hop right into it,
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  discussing your feelings or how a narcissist has made you feel.
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  What do you think? As as my loyal subscribers, as
• 1:19
  my people, that I'm extremely grateful for.
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  What do you think happens when you try to share your feelings
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  with a narcissist? What do you think?
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  Lucia says as soon as you mention feelings, they go crazy.
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  They make an excuse to go meet friends, they stall as much
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  time, they pretend they're sick. Don't mention it.
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  Feelings are uncomfortable for them.
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  That's going to be true a lot of times.
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  So right here, y'all being real when you try to discuss your
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  feelings with a narcissist tip, it really just depends on what
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  type of feelings that you're trying to discuss, right?
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  Sue Hudson ready let's go to a girl.
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  It typically depends on what type of feeling that you're
• 2:01
  trying to talk about. Now, if you talking about some
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  good feelings, if you're talking about how the narcissist has
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  made you feel good, then by all means bring it on.
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  Like the movie. Like brain, literally bring it
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  on. Like the movie.
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  Seriously, bring it on because you're talking about good
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  feelings. Look, smother me in the good
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  feelings. Smother me.
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  Lather me in it like a like a baby oil like that.
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  Like like you had a ditty party and his baby oil be throwing
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  around with that, that that craziness that just happened,
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  right? Lather me with baby oil or
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  butter or whatever it is. Make make me make me smooth and
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  slippery. Give me all the good feelings.
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  Hey babe, you've been treating me amazing lately.
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  Hey, babe. The cheek clapping session last
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  night was A1. Hey babe, thank you so much.
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  We're so grateful for you. Hey, babe.
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  All of that. Give me all of that.
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  Give me all of it. All of it.
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  I want all of that. Yes, you did catch a lie,
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  Stephanie. All of it.
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  Give it to me because I need it. I need it.
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  I need it. If you're talking about some
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  good things, then yeah, you're going to get a good reaction
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  from a narcissist, right? You're going to get a good some
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  good feelings. You're going to get a smile.
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  You know, you don't get a you talk about me how I made you
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  feel. I made you feel good.
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  Thanks babe. I do what I can.
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  That's that's what they're going to do right there.
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  Y'all seriously, this is what goes on that narcissistic people
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  are typically going to love when you talk about good things.
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  They want to hear the good stuff.
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  Give me the good stuff because they look when you talk about
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  good feelings and the good, the good stuff that they've been
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  doing for you, then you get it's like narcissistic supply for
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  them, right? You know, this really is like
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  narcissistic supply. Like you give me the supply,
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  like tell me all the good stuff because you're giving me the
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  external validation that I need to actually function.
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  So I love it. A narcissist will love it.
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  We're talking about the good feelings now on the other side
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  of things. Now on the other side of things,
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  if you're talking about the bad feelings, we might Houston, we
• 4:18
  might have a problem. If you're in Houston, TX, we
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  might have a problem, right? Because narcissistic people do
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  not like to discuss the bad things.
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  The bad feelings suck. You remember, you remember a few
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  minutes ago when I talked about the external validation and, and
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  the narcissistic supply that they get when you talk about the
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  good, the good feelings, how they, how good they've been
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  treating you, when you're hyping them up, when you're feeding
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  their ego, like that's what happens, right?
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  They, they get external supply. But when you want to talk about
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  bad stuff or some negativity or how bad they've been treating
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  you or how bad you feel or how unhappy you feel, Hey, babe, can
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  we talk about my feelings? I don't, I don't feel the same
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  anymore. You're not treating me good
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  anymore. You bring that to a narcissist,
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  You better buckle your safety belt.
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  You better buckle up. Look, you better double buckle.
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  You better buckle. You better double buckle buckle.
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  Buckle like you in a race car. Buckle, cross, buckle this way,
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  buckle this way. You in a race car like you got
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  to buckle like you in a race car because you're going to be in
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  for it. Most times narcissistic people
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  don't want to hear about the bad stuff that they've been doing to
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  you. That just doesn't serve them.
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  Like they don't want to hear about it because when you talk
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  about the bad feelings, you talk about something negative, right?
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  They take it as a personal attack on them.
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  They take it like you're trying to knife them down, like like,
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  like you in Squid Games three playing hide and seek.
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  They talk. They talk about like trying to
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  knife them down, like you just stabbed them, like you want to
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  talk about me cheating on you. Now's not the time.
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  Why would you bring this up? And y'all, a lot of times when
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  you, when you bring up the uncomfortable feelings or the
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  bad stuff that they've been doing, they'll try to push it
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  down the road, They'll try to kick the can down the road,
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  right? They'll just try to say, hey,
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  look, let's talk about this later.
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  Later never comes. This is a stalling technique
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  that a lot of narcissistic people use right here.
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  Y'all, they'll use it. They'll a stalling technique
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  that they'll use to just push it down the road so they don't have
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  to talk about it right now, right?
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  Let's talk about this later. Now is not the time.
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  Well babe, if now is not the time, when is the time then?
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  I don't know right now. There's not the good time, OK?
• 6:42
  OK, you would take what you feeling Who said it?
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  Somebody said about mocking. Yep.
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  Like Linda, Like. You talk about your feelings
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  right now. You your feelings are hurt.
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  I hope you feel. I hope your little feelings
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  what? Doesn't what doesn't hurt your
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  feelings like you were very, you were very sensitive person,
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  you're too emotional, you're so insecure.
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  Rabble, rabble, rabble. Blah blah blah.
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  Boo Boo Boo BB. Like they'll say all kinds of
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  craziness to you. They'll start picking on you
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  when you want to talk about your feelings.
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  You want feelings. Who has feelings?
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  Why wait? Why do you want to talk about
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  your feelings here? Right, right, right.
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  You see what I'm saying? They don't want to hear about
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  the bad stuff that they've been doing because they take it as a
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  personal attack. Yeah.
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  Even if it's constructive criticism, it's all criticism.
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  It's in the name. Constructive criticism to a
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  narcissist, it's still criticism.
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  It's in the name. It's in the name.
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  Well, I'm just trying, babe. Honey, Dad, Mom.
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  Brother, sister, who? Whoever the narcissist is in
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  your life. I'm just trying to give you
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  some. Give you some.
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  Constructive criticism. Why are you taking it so
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  personal? Because it's.
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  Still criticism? It's in the name.
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  Damn it, you're still criticizing.
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  Me right. So when you try to talk about
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  your feelings with a narcissist, you have to buckle your safety
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  belt up because it's not going to be an easy conversation.
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  You probably won't get the question that you have that you
• 8:01
  won't answered. You probably won't get those
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  answered. It just doesn't work that way.
• 8:05
  Yeah. When you're dealing with an
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  abusive, manipulative person, that's so there's pretty much
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  controlled by their own ego. It's very difficult to try to
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  get your point across in any way, shape or form.
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  It's very difficult to try to let them know that they're
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  hurting you and have them not take it personally.
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  It's very difficult to try to move past and have any type of
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  discernible conversation with somebody who's not really trying
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  to hear you. You know, they're they're really
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  not trying to hear you. Then what can you actually do in
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  that situation right there? What can you actually do in that
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  scenario if they're really not trying to hear you, right?
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  It's a very difficult thing to process.
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  It's very tough to process. It's very tough to even deal
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  with, right? So you have to go about the
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  situation right here. Call us.
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  And my hair looks nice. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
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  You're still fresh, but this is what goes on right here, y'all?
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  Narcissistic people don't want to hear about your feelings.
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  They really don't, unless it's good stuff.
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  The good stuff, like I said, the good stuff.
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  Bring it on in here like a dump truck.
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  Back it on up like a dump truck. Let.
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  Me hear that? Beat let me hear you.
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  Let me hear you backing it up. Beep, beep, beep, beep.
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  Back up the narcissistic supply truck.
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  Dump it right here on me. Dump it on me.
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  Just dump it on me right now. Now the bad stuff, don't they?
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  They're going to pretend like it's Rent-A-Center like the
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  renter. They're going to pretend like
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  Rent-A-Center knocking and they're not answering the door
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  for you. Rent-A-Center is knocking at the
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  door. They have you have made a
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  payment. They going to be in that quiet
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  as a mouse. They don't want to hear that
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  right there. But this is what goes on y'all.
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  You can't, you can't have a realistically good conversation
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  with a narcissistic person. It's very difficult thing to do.
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  It really, really is. You know what I mean?
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  What's going on, what's going on?
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  You know, God, it is a bit complex on chatty sharing on
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  her. No, you can share all you want
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  to, but this is what goes on, y'all.
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  So when you try to talk about your feelings with a narcissist,
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  typically it's going to go downhill.
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  Typically they don't want to hear it, like unless it's good
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  stuff, right? A lot of times if they have done
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  something to you and they know they've done something to you
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  wrong, they just don't want to talk about it at all.
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  They just want to just kind of like go move past.
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  Let's just move past this. Why you bringing up the?
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  Past. Why you want to talk?
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  About old stuff. That's so in the past it was.
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  Yesterday. What are you talking about?
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  Is yesterday, not the past? Well, it.
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  Is yesterday, not the past? Answer the question.
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  I mean it really is the past. OK, then why you want to know
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  about the past? Got you.
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  You see how that works right there they'll get you right
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  there right there they'll get you right there.
• 10:43
  So I got a few minutes for some questions.
• 10:45
  Y'all y'all want to drop some questions in the in the comment
• 10:46
  section. I got a few minutes to answer
• 10:48
  some questions. I'm trying to not break no
• 10:54
  contact with my husband. It's been 3 days.
• 10:56
  So that's what that's why support groups are so important
• 10:58
  right here. Y'all.
• 10:59
  I have a support group called the mental healers.
• 11:01
  It's offline, it's off of YouTube, it's off of Facebook.
• 11:04
  It's it's not anywhere y'all. You can find it, right?
• 11:06
  I'm going to drop the link in the comment section where you
• 11:08
  can find my the link for my support group.
• 11:11
  There's a lot of people in my support group.
• 11:12
  People post like in my support group every day just so they
• 11:17
  won't go no break, no contact. The stuff that they want to send
• 11:20
  to their exes, they post in a support group and people respond
• 11:24
  to them instead, right? They respond to the narcissist.
• 11:27
  They respond to us instead. They send it to us in the
• 11:30
  support group instead of the narcissist, right?
• 11:34
  And it helps you, It helps you get it out of your system and
• 11:37
  whatnot. So you can find everything out.
• 11:38
  Everything is going to be scrolled across the bottom of
• 11:40
  the screen. It's a mental illness.net.
• 11:42
  I'll put it in the comment section too.
• 11:44
  Is mental illness.net when it's in the comment section.
• 11:46
  My courses, my groups, my one-on-one coaching, everything
• 11:50
  is available at mentalillness.net.
• 11:54
  It's been three years since I've seen my ex-girlfriend.
• 11:58
  Three years. What was going on in three
• 11:59
  years? He cheated on me and a week
• 12:04
  later expected me to be over here.
• 12:05
  Absolutely. Because why you take why you
• 12:07
  take me back if you're not over it?
• 12:09
  You see how super simplistic that is?
• 12:12
  Why would you take me back if you're not over it?
• 12:18
  You see, that's super simplistic right there, right?
• 12:22
  It really is. That's what it goes on right
• 12:25
  there. Like, why would you take me back
• 12:26
  if you're not over it? But that's the process right
• 12:35
  there, y'all? It's Mental illness.net for the
• 12:37
  group. My courses, my coaching,
• 12:38
  everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 12:40
  Y'all, I've helped thousands of people.
• 12:43
  My courses are on point as well. Mine are out at the moment.
• 12:49
  I'm home alone again. Yeah, be safe.
• 12:52
  You got to be safe, y'all. You have to stay safe in these
• 12:54
  situations, right? Of course.
• 12:55
  Also, I'll say this about narcissists, when you want to
• 12:58
  talk about your feelings, some of them will absolutely get
• 13:01
  violent. So when you want to talk about
• 13:03
  your feelings to a narcissistic person, be very careful because
• 13:05
  some of them will blow their top and absolutely get violent on
• 13:09
  you, right. Nurse will wet the bed and blame
• 13:12
  the bed sheets. Now they blame you.
• 13:13
  There's like they'll blame, they'll blame the bed sheets and
• 13:15
  you, they'll be like you threw water on me.
• 13:18
  You just happen to throw water precisely.
• 13:21
  On the bed. Where my private parts are at
• 13:24
  right? You see what I mean?
• 13:27
  But anyways, y'all let me hop off of here let me hop off this
• 13:31
  thing. You hit the subscribe button on
• 13:33
  YouTube if you haven't already Mental illness dot net for all
• 13:38
  my coaching, my courses, my one on ones you can find
• 13:40
  everything@mentalhealth.net. I'll drop the link in the
• 13:45
  comment section one more time for hop off y'all and like I
• 13:49
  said I'm going we do for my support group.
• 13:52
  We do a Sunday Night Live every single night.
• 13:55
  Every every single Sunday we do a private live over zoom where
• 13:59
  it's only the group in there is about 2025 people show up.
• 14:02
  Everybody gets their questions answered, people going there and
• 14:05
  share their story, share what they're going through.
• 14:07
  It definitely it definitely helps a lot of people.
• 14:09
  Y'all anyway, y'all check out mental illness.net for
• 14:11
  everything. Be safe, take care of yourselves
• 14:15
  and as always y'all, as always, I got to say bye to Scott
• 14:19
  Jackson first going on girl, be safe.
• 14:21
  It's always y'all. Mental illness is out peace.
• 14:25
  It's for the thumbnail.