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Making Peace With the Trees · Relatively Stable

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Making peace with the trees.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: When the weather reveals the human animal.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Snow and I have a long and complicated relationship.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I've lived at the base of the mountains my whole life,
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: and snow isn't uncommon,
• 0:29
  but it's rare enough to be an event that causes complicated
• 0:32
  roadways and mad dashes
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: for provisions.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have plows.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: The roads aren't pre-treated for anything.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're lucky to have cavernous potholes repaired.
• 0:46
  My favorite game is closing my eyes and feeling the difference
• 0:50
  in the asphalt,
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: jarring to smooth,
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: as I drive over the South Carolina and North Carolina border.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: In this region,
• 1:00
  we're all complicit in the hoarding of bread and milk before
• 1:04
  winter weather happens,
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: although no one can exactly say why we do this.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Is it for cereal?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Is it for snow cream?
• 1:13
  Is it because we're pared down to the basics when it snows and
• 1:17
  we're subconsciously
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: longing for our grandmother's pantry?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
• 1:24
  My mother left home in the snow and I didn't really know her
• 1:28
  until we were adults.
• 1:30
  She's lived with me at the farm long enough for us to have
• 1:33
  forgiven each other
• 1:34
  through the benediction of doing chores together during
• 1:38
  snowfalls and other
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: extraordinary weather events.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: When it was the two of us alone handling feed and water,
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: cleaning the stalls,
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: we'd reach an atmosphere of gray gardens by day four,
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: trapped with the cats in a crumbling mansion of our own making.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now Christopher lives with us,
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: lending a dose of logic to our suppositions,
• 2:02
  a compounded interest of technical skill that keeps mom and I
• 2:06
  from the mania of
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: genetically predisposed catastrophizing.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: If a pipe bursts, he can fix it.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: If we start to spin out, he tells a joke and brings us back.
• 2:19
  He knows to bring strings so he can find his way out of the
• 2:23
  labyrinth of wind and
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: rain and ice accumulation.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Left to our own devices,
• 2:30
  Mom and I would mark the path with breadcrumbs and stop what
• 2:34
  we're doing to marvel
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: at the birds.
• 2:38
  Most of my life,
• 2:39
  I've had to rage my way steadily into the practical specifics
• 2:43
  of living.
• 2:44
  It's hard to get lost in stories when somebody needs to be sure
• 2:48
  everyone is fed.
• 2:50
  And while I'm not planning on totally embracing my inner wild
• 2:54
  woman completely
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: anytime soon,
• 2:57
  Christopher's careful watch on the details of lifing affords me
• 3:02
  coveted moments of
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: no longer having to be in control.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know this gift was occurring,
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: the way Christopher gave me space to cope,
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: until I crashed hard after Hurricane Helene.
• 3:16
  I'm still recovering physically from my body giving me no
• 3:19
  choice but to rest,
• 3:21
  to be still.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'll continue to work with doctors to find answers,
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: but all the downtime has given me mighty time for reflection.
• 3:30
  I have a habit of stopping all motion when an actual or a
• 3:34
  metaphorical storm is heading my way.
• 3:37
  I noticed my slow descent into inertia as the weather forecast
• 3:42
  built into a frenzy
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: leading to this week's snowfall.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: I had 15 things I needed to be doing this morning,
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: but I sat by the window and waited for the first flakes to start falling.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Weather shifts make me stop what I'm doing and listen.
• 3:59
  They,
• 3:59
  like Christopher,
• 4:00
  take care of the details so I can sink into my wildness.
• 4:06
  Sometimes those details look like a soft snow collecting on the
• 4:10
  tree limbs,
• 4:11
  and sometimes those details look like entire mountainsides
• 4:15
  stripped of trees.
• 4:17
  I watched my horse people all over the world go into action
• 4:21
  while fires tore
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: through LA,
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: as the fires still burn as I write this.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's too early to say how many animals and humans were rescued,
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: will still be rescued,
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: or to tally what all has been lost.
• 4:38
  What I do know is that those winds and flames are stripping
• 4:42
  away all pretense and
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: reducing people down to their essence.
• 4:48
  The leaders at the heart of community action in Appalachia
• 4:51
  after Hurricane Helene,
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: without missing a beat of their local tireless work,
• 4:57
  began to trade resources and knowledge so there will be hay
• 5:01
  delivered and people
• 5:02
  fed long before the big organizations and their slow moving
• 5:06
  wheels get moving in California.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is our new normal as the weather and the elements bash us.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked outside for 30 years.
• 5:17
  I dare any farmer to tell me that the climate isn't different
• 5:21
  than it was at the
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: turn of the millennia.
• 5:24
  In this new normal,
• 5:25
  catastrophe isn't something we hear about on the news.
• 5:29
  It's something we're experiencing firsthand in our previously
• 5:32
  safe and comfortable neighborhoods.
• 5:35
  The new normal asks people to go into action and help without
• 5:39
  stopping to debate or
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: ask questions.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have time for that nonsense anymore.
• 5:46
  The time is long gone for us to lend aid with a dose of
• 5:49
  self-righteousness and
• 5:51
  self-importance because the most comfortable of us today may
• 5:55
  need food and supplies tomorrow.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: We're in this together.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'd never wish calamity on anyone,
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: but if we have no choice but to live in an environment we've ravaged,
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: one that is speaking back loudly,
• 6:12
  the treasure at the core of this labyrinth is the chance we
• 6:15
  have to finally take
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: care of each other,
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: to show up and offer help,
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: to do some good.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I made cups of Turkish coffee as the snow fell this weekend.
• 6:26
  I encouraged Christopher to flip his tiny mug over when he was
• 6:30
  finished so the
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: remaining sludge would filigree down the side,
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: leaving signs and symbols for me to interpret.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I sat with the grandmothers after dinner in Istanbul.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I listened to their chatter over desserts and cigarettes,
• 6:46
  fluttering their hands at me to flip my cup so they could read
• 6:49
  my essence in the coffee.
• 6:51
  so that they could give me some knowledge of the future to keep
• 6:54
  me on a straight path,
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: to encourage me to make good choices.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Reading Fortunes has always been a woman's work of condensed ethics,
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: an instruction manual for the nearsighted,
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: a way of bargaining for virtue and hope.
• 7:13
  In Christopher's Cup,
• 7:14
  I saw the image of a tall figure reaching down to help another
• 7:18
  person up.
• 7:19
  That's what Christopher does anyway,
• 7:21
  all the time,
• 7:22
  taking care of other people.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's who he is.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: He was born that way.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: The rest of us have to learn and work and strive for it.
• 7:31
  Christopher is also not very fun to read coffee for because
• 7:35
  he's literal and
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: doesn't deal in metaphor.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: He deals in facts.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's the kind of person you want beside you in a crisis.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Christopher's mother lives on the slopes of Kilauea in Hawaii,
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: a 15-minute drive from one of the world's most active volcanoes.
• 7:56
  The people on the island know what it's like to live with
• 7:59
  threats of lava,
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: earthquakes,
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: and tsunamis.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: But when vents open up in Kilauea and molten rock pours out,
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: a window into the center of the earth,
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: islanders glory in catching a sight of the glowing red heat.
• 8:15
  They don't deny the threat of the volcano's capability for
• 8:19
  widespread destruction,
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: but they honor her fury and live in balance with her.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: They read the signs.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: They watch the world around them and they listen to what it has to say.
• 8:32
  Aloha is a living concept of care and kindness born from the
• 8:37
  uncertainty and beauty of nature.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Caring for the island is a way of life in Hawaii.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Ecology is a living,
• 8:45
  breathing philosophy of being on a tiny plot of land far from
• 8:50
  any continent,
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: a paradise that could be swallowed at any moment.
• 8:56
  We're on big land in the continental U.S.,
• 8:59
  and that vastness gives us a false sense of security.
• 9:04
  We act differently when we're not sleepwalking in the comfort
• 9:07
  of our assumptions.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: We act differently when our communities are flooding and burning.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: For many of us,
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: in the moments of deep crisis,
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: it's the first time we realize we are a part of a community at all.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or that we need to find a community fast.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Horse people have always known this,
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: for good and for bad,
• 9:31
  because our treasures live in herds and we're always one night
• 9:34
  of colic away from a loss.
• 9:37
  Most of us carry a halter in our vehicles in case we encounter
• 9:41
  a loose horse on the road,
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: and this happens more often than you might think.
• 9:46
  Another curious change I've noticed in a life spent working
• 9:50
  outside is people's
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: relationship to weather.
• 9:54
  We have an arsenal of barn lessons to teach on rainy days when
• 9:58
  the arena is soup.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Riding isn't our focus on sunny days.
• 10:03
  We want people to learn how to talk horse and read and write
• 10:07
  and listen in horse.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this begins and ends on the ground.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: When I first started teaching riding, people weren't afraid of rain.
• 10:16
  But now I have people texting me on a Monday worried about
• 10:19
  arriving to find mild
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: showers on a Friday.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: We've forgotten that we weren't designed for buildings,
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: that the natural world is our original home.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: The snow is still softly falling here in South Carolina.
• 10:36
  The trees and the power lines are so far holding up under the
• 10:40
  weight of the weather.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've blamed snow most of my life for taking my mother away from me.
• 10:48
  But I see now that it's taken the snow and the rain and the
• 10:51
  wind to bring her back.
• 10:55
  How can we allow the wind and the fire and the waves to knit us
• 10:59
  back together?
• 11:01
  And then how can we continue to stay together in times of quiet abundance?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: How do we live in balance with each other and the earth?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like the grandmothers reading coffee over rose cakes and cigarettes.
• 11:16
  How do we learn to recognize the signs so that we can urge
• 11:19
  others to take action?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And how can we be ready to help
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: when we see a need.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: I needed a gentle storm like this snow,
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: a quiet storm,
• 11:34
  to remind me back into my love affair with the natural world
• 11:38
  after Hurricane Helene.
• 11:40
  I have the luxury of having a warm home to return to after
• 11:44
  breaking ice in water buckets,
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: but many people in Appalachia are still unhoused.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: The uncertainty of FEMA hotel vouchers are making matters worse.
• 11:57
  Tamar Reno writes of survivor's guilt,
• 12:00
  how it grows like kudzu,
• 12:03
  how we shouldn't feed it.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Horses have a primal reaction to the sound of cracking branches.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Their bodies urge them to run before a falling tree crushes them.
• 12:16
  Yet they still stand beneath the shade of a tree and graze in
• 12:20
  calm weather.
• 12:22
  Tamar is always guiding us toward how the horses remember us
• 12:26
  back into a connection
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: with ourselves and the land around us.
• 12:31
  I think of this as I leave the warm house on this snowy day and
• 12:34
  wander into the
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: snow-filled forest.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to make peace with the trees.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: I invite you to do the same.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: The storms around you may be raging or gentle,
• 12:47
  but the trees and the birds and the dirt hold the seeds of our
• 12:50
  human animal,
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: and the natural world is pleading with us to witness and to relate,
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: as we relearn how to bear witness to our relation with other humans.
• 13:02
  We are part of the web,
• 13:04
  but it's easy to believe we're something other,
• 13:07
  something separate.
• 13:10
  As I go about my business feeding hay and checking waters on
• 13:13
  this snow-hushed afternoon,
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: my heart is aching for everyone suffering in California.
• 13:20
  It's aching for all the people in the mountains above me who
• 13:23
  face the snow and the
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: cold very differently as they rebuild their lives.
• 13:29
  The ache is laced with awe for the angels and lightworkers
• 13:32
  showing up for their
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: communities in ways large and small.
• 13:37
  the ones who were showing us all the way into what it means to
• 13:40
  come together.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Let's gather each other's stories and hold them close.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: The snow rests on the flat holly leaves.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Ice edges the pond, pooling in the beaver dam.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: The imprint of my boots in the snow shows me coming and going.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'll stay on this path for as long as it takes,
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: for me to make my peace with the trees.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Love, Kim