Latest / The Hypnotist / Stop Chasing Cheap Thrills - Hypnosis to Rewire Sexual Habits and Build Real Connection

Transcript

Stop Chasing Cheap Thrills - Hypnosis to Rewire Sexual Habits and Build Real Connection · The Hypnotist

0:05
Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
0:12
genuine. Issues.
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Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, Demanded by
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celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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These recordings took place live from Adam Smith in London's
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world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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It's Adam here now. Would you say that you at some
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point in your life have been guilty of chasing?
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Cheap thrills. And when I say that, I'm talking
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about things that are low value, but maybe give you an instant
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boost of dopamine or perhaps some other kind of stimulation.
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Now, the client that I was working with, the kind of cheap
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thrills that they were interested in were sexual cheap
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thrills. We're talking porn or sex
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workers, things like that. And they knew that it was quite
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temporary. Quite often they felt
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disappointed. They kind of felt a little bit
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hollow afterwards, and a lot of time that they would do it
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because they were chasing the essence of something, which was
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connection. But actually they were choosing
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a poor quality, cheap thrill substitute for what they really
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wanted, which was connection. This session is all about
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reprioritizing that to harness the ability to create a new
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standard of saying actually I don't want that.
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I actually want something much, much better.
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And you can think of a food analogy here.
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The equivalent of cheap thrills in food is lots of highly
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processed food like confectionery and snacks and
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junk food. And actually, it can feel kind
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of good in the moment, but actually in the bits that
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follow, which could be weight gain, bad teeth, you know, poor
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skin generally and bad sleep generally, it doesn't do good
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things for you, but really good quality real food.
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You enjoy it in the moment and you enjoy what it does for your
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body. Now the sexual equivalent of
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that might be a real meaningful relationship that could actually
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lead somewhere. Part of also with this
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particular client is that they were considering moving to a
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different city. So this gave us the ability to
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say, well, not only do they not want cheap thrills, but they
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actually get to have a new standard where the version of
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them in the new city holds themselves to a higher standard.
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Now the problem is a lot of people going through something
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tricky or in certain ruts and routines have the idea of, oh,
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I'll just move a different country, a different city.
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That doesn't work because you're taking yourself with you.
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It does work if the version of you that you take has different
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standards and different strategies, in which case you
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can be then congruent with that version of you in the new place
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and you can leave all of the old habits in the old place.
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That's when it's really, really powerful.
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If you're considering moving anyway, you don't have to do
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that. It's just if you are, there is
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an extra upside in a form of reinvention.
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Some people do that. If they change jobs and they
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want to be a slightly different version of themself in the new
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place because nobody really knows what they were like
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before, they can hold themselves to a higher standard.
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So if you want to raise your standards, if you want something
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more meaningful, or if you want to break certain habits that you
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consider cheap thrills, this is the session for you.
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It was created for an individual.
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Some of the suggestions would have been perfect for the client
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I was working with and not quite for you.
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So ignore any suggestions that that don't fit, hone into the
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ones that do. And if you like the idea of
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working with me directly, check out my website adamcox.co.uk or
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look in the description and you'll see various ways that you
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can work with me directly. For now though, find a quiet,
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comfortable place where you won't be distracted or
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disturbed. Relax.
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And enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in and as you
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breathe in, breathe in a wonderful feeling of calm and as
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you exhale, allow your eyelids to release any tension.
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Feel the heaviness of those eyelids can allow the relaxation
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to spread to all the tiny muscles of your eyes, all the
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way up to your eyebrows, then your forehead, down to your jaw
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and neck and your shoulders. I want you to imagine a helium
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balloon, and just for a moment, imagine what your head would
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feel like if it was a brightly colored helium balloon on a
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string. Feel the lightness, the floaty
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sensation that it requires no effort for your head to just
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float there, and in doing so, allow any tension around the
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back of the neck where the neck meets the shoulders and then
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down your arms to just release. That's it.
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Allow the muscles in your jaw to loosen and allow each breath to
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take you deeper and deeper. Relaxed.
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That's it. And when you breathe in, breathe
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in for deeper. And when you exhale, allow the
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outward breath to keep on going, breathing in deeper, exhaling
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for longer. Each breath takes you deeper and
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deeper, relaxed. Notice how comfortable you start
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to feel the gentle rhythm of your breathing in and out.
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Tap into that feeling of peace, calm, and tranquility, allowing
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the kind of stillness that comes naturally, the kind that begins
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paying attention to something deeper.
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That's it. And the deeper you breathe, the
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more relaxed you feel. And the more relaxed you feel
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the deeper you breathe. Each breath takes you deeper and
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deeper, relaxed. And as you follow that rhythm of
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your breathing, something interesting happens.
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Attention is like a lens, and where it focuses, experience
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changes. When attention is scattered, the
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mind will look for quick stimulation.
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But when focus and attention become steady, the mind begins
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recognizing real value, and just noticing the slow, steady breath
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can begin sharpening and focusing that inner lens,
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breathing in and releasing. When you exhale, each breath may
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enable you to notice a growing sense of distance.
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Distance from noise, from distractions, from old habits
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that once pulled attention in certain directions.
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And the more you think about habits, the more fascinating
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they become. Because habits are curious
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things, they often begin as shortcuts to relief.
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Quick way to change how you feel, an instant way to escape
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pressure. But in most cases, the shortcut
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is always the long road. Shortcuts have a cost.
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They trade long term value for short term stimulation.
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The mind that is awakening is already recognizing the
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difference. Imagine now standing on the side
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of a mountain, looking out to a wide open landscape, not empty,
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but full of possibility. And from this elevation you can
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see are the mountains in the distance, or lakes, or open
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fields, or rivers cutting through valleys.
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And allow this landscape to represent your life, not just
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your work, but the whole territory.
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Travel, adventure, golf courses stretching over quiet hills,
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Cities yet to be explored, connections yet to be made.
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And I want you to think of the infinite experiences that
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haven't even entered your awareness yet.
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You don't know what you don't know.
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And what if something important is happening in your life now?
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What if the energy that once went into narrow channels is
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being reclaimed, reinvested, directed into building a life?
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When life becomes interesting, addictive substitutes start to
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lose their appeal. Substitutes only exist when
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something real is missing. And somewhere in that vast
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landscape, there are different paths.
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There is the path of familiarity, a path of instant
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gratification, easy access. Like a tap that whenever you
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turn it, exactly what you think you want is going to flow.
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And that tap may be accessed by browsing online, swiping on an
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app, sending a message, making a call.
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And that path seems exciting. It risks any human element of
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loss because it avoids vulnerability.
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But when you think more about that pathway into a future, you
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begin noticing that nothing meaningful grows there.
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It's a closed system. Energy goes in and nothing
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lasting comes out. The things that come out are
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repetition, short term pleasure, but more often than not
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disappointment, shame or regret. And the man you are becoming has
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recognized that pattern. You've looked behind the
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curtain, you've seen what it's really like, how rarely it lives
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up to an expectation, and I want you to feel that you've never
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been so clear. And once something is clearly
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seen, it stops having the same pull.
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There are many people that used to love going to theme parks,
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but if they got a job in a theme park, even for a few weeks, the
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magic of the theme park loses its appeal entirely because
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they've seen behind the curtain. You've seen behind the curtain,
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you know that all the glitters is not gold.
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The fantasies are not reality. So let's imagine turning your
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attention towards that 2nd pathway, one that feels
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different. Not quite so easy.
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Maybe a longer Rd. because it requires something from you.
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It requires effort, discernment, patience, clarity of boundaries.
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It's a more difficult, rugged, riskier path.
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But it also offers something the first path never could value.
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Real connection, shared experiences, a partner whose
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presence improves your life rather than draining it.
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I want you to imagine a future with someone who shares your
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values, someone you respect and respects you.
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Someone who feels worthy of your time, but worth your time, worth
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your attention, worth your energy.
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And something fascinating happens when the mind commits to
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higher value. Lower value options lose their
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attraction, not because they are forbidden, but because they are
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so irrelevant. There are people in the world
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that are eating rotten food, mouldy food or waste of other
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people's food because they are so hungry.
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But once good quality food is available, why would anyone have
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the inferior food? Your mind already understands
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this principle because it exists everywhere in life.
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A person chasing the cheap thrills really builds anything
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valuable. The investor and the gambler
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want the same thing. They want a return on their
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investment. The gambler gets the dopamine,
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the rush, the excitement, but the risk return ratio guarantees
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they will lose. The investor is also taking a
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risk, but because they have patience and discernment, they
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are rewarded with something valuable that grows way beyond
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their initial investment. I want you to think of yourself
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as a person pursuing something meaningful and by definition,
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you need to be discerning and selective.
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How you spend your time, your money, your thoughts and
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emotions, how to be strategic and intentional.
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And this shift is already happening within you.
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You like taking risks, but why take risks with no payoff when
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you can take risks with a huge payoff?
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If you could buy a lottery ticket where you had no chance
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of winning and a lottery ticket it could lead to millions, and
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the cost of the ticket is the same, why would you ever buy the
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ticket if there was no chance of getting what you actually want?
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So allow your inner instinct to evolve.
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Before risk was directed towards stimulation, satisfaction, short
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term pleasure, but now? Risk becomes investment.
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Investment in relationships, investment in experiences, but
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most of all investment in becoming the man capable of
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attracting someone extraordinary.
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To attract someone extraordinary, the law of
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attraction says you can become someone extraordinary.
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And these meaningful relationships are not found by
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accident. They are attracted through
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alignment, and alignment begins with standards.
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And standards are not restrictions.
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They are standards. High standards.
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Standards that quietly define the direction of your life and
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allow your mind to wonder what those standards could be that
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enhances the quality of your life now and increases the
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probability of an even better life in the future.
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You can make these standards simple, clear and non
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negotiable. And maybe one of those standards
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is clarity. No looking for or paying for
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anything related to sex. It'll be a part of your mind,
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your brain that feels that it's missing out.
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What it's missing out on is meaningless.
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But by closing the door to meaningless, you open the door
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of possibility to meaningful. Those systems exist only to
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recycle attention and drain energy, and your attention is
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becoming far too valuable to waste.
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You can also have boundaries as to when and where you use your
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phone. Maybe certain applications are
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deleted, certain sites are blocked, certain rooms are no go
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areas to take your phone with. Because in the time, don't be
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surprised. In those same locations you get
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ideas, inspiration, epiphanies and clarity that help you move
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towards the future you desire. But the third standard is the
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most important. It's about living in accordance
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with the values that you desire. From this point onwards, you
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could decide to enforce a boundary where sex exists only
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within the pursuit or within the structure of a meaningful
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relationship. No longer dating for hookups,
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but dating for the kind of relationship you would desire.
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And what if intimacy regains its value that way?
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When it's connected to possibility, vulnerability when
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it's connected to trust, and a desire to build something
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meaningful? You can either accept these
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boundaries now, or consider planting seeds and allowing your
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intuition to know exactly when these standards become standards
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you can live by. You may even find that sooner
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than you think, they begin operating automatically,
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quietly, naturally, like a compass pointing towards the
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north. And now imagine the possibility
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of a new city. Different streets, different
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people, different energy. You can become whoever you want
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to be. And sometimes a new city is a
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fresh start to be that version of you even before you arrive.
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Consider it a psychological reset, not necessary, but maybe
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useful. And what makes that city
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powerful is not the city, but the identity you bring with you
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to that city. And the version of you arriving
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there will have already changed, already have higher standards,
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already have a clear mission and direction, already has hobbies
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and interests and passions, things that excite you, a
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catalyst to make new friendships, meet new people.
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You are building a life that another person would want to
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join rather than escape from. When you build a life worth
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sharing, certain people will gravitate and resonate toward
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it. That version of you will
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remember a time when you sought gratification and know that you
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don't want that anymore. What if, either in that city or
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a different city, you meet someone not because you chased
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it desperately, but because your life created the conditions for
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it, where you recognize shared values, shared curiosity, and
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shared direction? Before lungs, something becomes
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obvious. You are building something
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together which is far more valuable than anything temporary
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you left behind. And there will be no sense of
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sacrifice, no sense of missing out.
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Because what you have is richer, more meaningful, more alive.
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And from this moment forward, your mind begins treating
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attention as a valuable resource.
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Your time becomes an investment, your energy becomes a resource,
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and your choices align with the future.
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You want a meaningful relationship, a fulfilling life
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beyond work. And maybe there's a growth in
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your finances, your career, and a growing family.
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And every time you make a decision, small or big, that
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aligns with that future, you will feel an immediate boost in
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confidence, self esteem, and personal pride.
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And every time you say no to something that doesn't fit your
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boundaries, you will feel a wonderful feeling that you are
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heading in exactly the direction that you desire.
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And the more you become the person you want to be, the more
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you will naturally attract the person you're meant to be with.
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And as you hold that thought, allow yourself to return from
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the city, from the mountainside, and all the way back to the
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present as if you've been on a journey within your imagination.
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A journey of thoughts within thoughts, ideas within ideas,
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and dreams within dreams. It's now time to awaken, so take
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a deep breath in through your nose and out through your nose.
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Wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes.
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Connect and calibrate into the here and the now as I now count
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from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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Starting to count 123 waking up 456 more alert 7-8.
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Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910.
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Wide awake. Wide awake.
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Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
30:19
on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
30:22
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And if you would. Like to listen to this episode
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where it's just the hypnosis. So no intro, no outro, no
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explanation, just the hypnosis and completely.
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description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
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check that out. Thank you again for being a
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regular listener of The Hypnotist and I'll see you again
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soon for more.