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GRIEF IS REAL_ GRIEF HURTS_ HOW DO WE DEAL WITH IT · DA CREW Podcast

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Speaker 1: Oh that long and think of the where you are,
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Speaker 1: the way makes.
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Speaker 2: And the like place my life and me.
0:41
Speaker 1: You he.
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Speaker 2: Continue schools like society. What made.
1:22
Speaker 1: I found myself up to prison? Oh that's what the look.
1:32
Speaker 3: Give up the job at prison, the claim you told
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Speaker 3: me a lot of the man made Jesus. If I
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Speaker 3: want to give on my life.
1:44
Speaker 1: I would be st nobody come to first.
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Speaker 2: Day sweep. Oh my god, my mother chills me.
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Speaker 1: At church, my life choking at church. I would the
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Speaker 1: more okay, the.
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Speaker 2: More I thought, following herself and cry I made my
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Speaker 2: personal morning place.
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Speaker 1: I gave.
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Speaker 2: I was like the cry of there like you got
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Speaker 2: playing you.
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Speaker 1: That's doing place you Okay, you know you know, like
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Speaker 1: that's playing Lord.
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Speaker 4: But I have amazing.
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Speaker 2: Laying the fact that you good.
3:13
Speaker 4: Morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. You're ned wow,
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Speaker 4: I tell you. Listening to that song and then hearing
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Speaker 4: and going through grief and truly understanding grief and the
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Speaker 4: different emotions and the different things. I tell you, you
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Speaker 4: have missed emotions and sometimes people don't understand. Did I
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Speaker 4: understand grief? No, I truly don't think I understand grief,
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Speaker 4: because I understand that everybody go through a different I
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Speaker 4: understand that everybody have their moments, they have their phases.
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Speaker 4: You know, I hear the concisest of people saying that
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Speaker 4: it's something that you have to adjust to. Y'all. This
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Speaker 4: is not the first time I lost someone. I can
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Speaker 4: count recount most of my major losses, and it goes
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Speaker 4: back to nineteen eighty nine when I lost my first cousin.
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Speaker 4: That was the first major loss, and I was reminded
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Speaker 4: of him a couple of years ago. I was able
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Speaker 4: to share that journey with someone else. You know, I understand.
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Speaker 4: I get that everything that we go through is always
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Speaker 4: for our good of God's glory. You know, I get it,
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Speaker 4: But when you going through it, it's that moment, it's
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Speaker 4: that right here and now that you don't you don't get.
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Speaker 4: You don't understand because you don't understand why you're missing
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Speaker 4: your loved one and why you're having all these different
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Speaker 4: emotions and how they come on. And people that haven't
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Speaker 4: truly lost someone close to them they may never understand
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Speaker 4: until they go through it. You know. I used to
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Speaker 4: be that person that the key people say that God
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Speaker 4: was good, but I didn't understand what they were saying
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Speaker 4: because I really had never went through anything to really
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Speaker 4: see his goodness. But boy, I tell you now, this
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Speaker 4: journey that I have been on call life, and it's
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Speaker 4: truly been lifing. I tell you, I can tell you
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Speaker 4: some things that making help you on your journey. But
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Speaker 4: today I've been having a moment. For a couple of days.
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Speaker 4: You know, I'm not okay, And I'm okay with letting
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Speaker 4: people know that I'm not okay because I want other
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Speaker 4: people to know that, Hey, you don't have to be
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Speaker 4: strong all the time. It's okay to not be okay.
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Speaker 4: It's okay to have these feelings, to have these emotions.
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Speaker 4: Because when I say I was confused about grief, you know,
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Speaker 4: and I've been posting stuff just trying to get you know,
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Speaker 4: individual's input in people's concisive because we all have dealt
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Speaker 4: with stuff and we all have been through something. So
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Speaker 4: I wanted to, you know, get other people's input. And
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Speaker 4: the first thing a couple of people always ask is
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Speaker 4: what my walk is with Christ? You know, am I
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Speaker 4: a believer or whatever? You know believers grief? I am
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Speaker 4: a believer. I believe in the world. I stand on
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Speaker 4: the word, y'all, I'm in prayer. I am a part
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Speaker 4: of a Bible believe in church, I sit under a
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Speaker 4: couple powerful leaders as mentors, and you know, I'm just
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Speaker 4: I believe that I have that relationship that I should
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Speaker 4: have on this walk. And we all have our own
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Speaker 4: some relationships and none of us are going to have
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Speaker 4: the relationship. So when that question was brought up, and
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Speaker 4: I I even questioned myself like, Okay, well, do I
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Speaker 4: truly believe the word? Because the word tell me that,
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Speaker 4: you know, God would comfort my heart that he will
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Speaker 4: always be with me no matter what, that he will
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Speaker 4: never forsake me. Like I literally, yeah, I'm sorry, I
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Speaker 4: just today is just one of those days. I'm just
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Speaker 4: I'm just having one of those days. Tomorrow's my brother's birthday.
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Speaker 4: My brother would have been fifty two. You know, I
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Speaker 4: thought that I had some more time with him. Y'all,
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Speaker 4: love on your loved ones. Do not take things for granted.
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Speaker 4: Do not take time for granted, because time owes no
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Speaker 4: one nothing, and it waits on no one. So when
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Speaker 4: we are making excuses and we're saying why we can't
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Speaker 4: do things and why are we doing this and why
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Speaker 4: this is doing, we gotta understand that this is not
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Speaker 4: our stumping this is not our stopping ground. This is
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Speaker 4: not what we're gonna be forever. You know, I get it,
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Speaker 4: I understand that, but y'all, it hurts, you know, And
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Speaker 4: I've lost people before, but this one is a different hurt.
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Speaker 4: I've never experienced this hurt before. Like I've lost a brother.
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Speaker 4: I lost my oldest brother almost three four years ago now,
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Speaker 4: and it was different because brother, it was acquired seat
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Speaker 4: and you know, all the things that he had gone through.
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Speaker 4: It was easier for me to accept. I didn't have
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Speaker 4: to go through the denial period. I didn't have to
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Speaker 4: go through the shop. I didn't have to go through
10:34
Speaker 4: because situations like that, even though we could never prepare fully,
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Speaker 4: we know that one day that person is going to
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Speaker 4: leave us. But like I'm seeing people leave every day
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Speaker 4: here today, going tomorrow, and so many people are leaving
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Speaker 4: before they can fulfill their dreams and their aspirations. And
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Speaker 4: I say this to say, if you have things that
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Speaker 4: you want to do, y'all, don't put it off because
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Speaker 4: you're not promised tomorrow. Y'all, there's opportunities for you to
11:24
Speaker 4: live a legacy so that people will remember your name,
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Speaker 4: so that people will remember the things that you stood
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Speaker 4: on the things that you believe, the things that you
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Speaker 4: that you shared. Sometimes I feel like I push people
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Speaker 4: so hard to talk about themselves, to create things for themselves,
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Speaker 4: to even appreciate themselves. This is just stuff that evidently
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Speaker 4: was just in me and just needed to come out.
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Speaker 4: But I know that I can't stop no matter what
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Speaker 4: come let me, and I proved that over and over again.
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Speaker 4: This is just another stumbling barb, another distraction that's trying
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Speaker 4: to hinder me from whatever it is that God is
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Speaker 4: trying to do. Right now, my mind is so cloudy.
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Speaker 4: I can't even focus on the things that I need
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Speaker 4: to focus on. Sometimes you want to if you'll live
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Speaker 4: in this vein, you know, sometimes I just be honest.
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Speaker 4: Sometimes I used to want to bargain with God. Yeah,
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Speaker 4: why it had to be my particular loved one and
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Speaker 4: not me? You know, I get all of this, like
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Speaker 4: I understand, like I know the steps, y'all. I've had
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Speaker 4: so much teaching and education too, it's just ridiculous. Like
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Speaker 4: I be over in the corner talking to myself, reading
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Speaker 4: a book or utilizing some of the things that I
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Speaker 4: have produced myself. Know, we often tell I wonder why
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Speaker 4: God has us doing a lot of things. And now
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Speaker 4: I see, you know, every day he reveals to me.
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Speaker 4: I know I'm not getting younger, y'all. I'm almost fifty myself.
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Speaker 4: I'll be fifty in April, and I I know that
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Speaker 4: I'm getting closer to the promise then away from it.
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Speaker 4: So I know that there's things that I need to
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Speaker 4: be getting in order. You know, I don't want to
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Speaker 4: have done all these things and not done what God
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Speaker 4: has called me to do. I don't want to walk
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Speaker 4: in the era. I don't want to lead anyone in error.
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Speaker 4: You know that. That is my prayer daily is that
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Speaker 4: God would lead god and do wreck me. But He
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Speaker 4: will order my steps. And if I am doing anything
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Speaker 4: that is not with his will, that he will remove
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Speaker 4: me from it, that he will separate me, and I
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Speaker 4: will only do those things that He has called me
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Speaker 4: in purpose me to do. Yeah, I'm just grateful that
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Speaker 4: I got to see another day, another day that was
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Speaker 4: not promised me. Because again, somebody didn't see this day.
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Speaker 4: Somebody didn't see this day. But y'all, I am so
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Speaker 4: so I'm not gonna apologize because this is how I felt.
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Speaker 4: You know, this morning, I was just feeling like that,
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Speaker 4: and you know, I was preparing for this show, you know,
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Speaker 4: and I was just gonna talk about, you know a
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Speaker 4: little about grief. But I know that I'm not the
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Speaker 4: only person that deals with grief, you know, just from
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Speaker 4: the interaction on the posts that I've had, I know
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Speaker 4: that there are other people that deal with grief too.
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Speaker 4: So I'm gonna be getting with Shanette and Little Unique Parker,
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Speaker 4: and we're gonna be coming up with a support group platform,
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Speaker 4: and we're gonna incorporate one of her one of Chanette's
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Speaker 4: gifts and talents, and that is traveling, and we're gonna
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Speaker 4: start going to different places and having different weekend retreats
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Speaker 4: and different things that we can work on our grief
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Speaker 4: and we can work on ourselves, and we can do
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Speaker 4: it together, knowing that we don't have to do it alone,
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Speaker 4: that there's other people going through these scenes, and we're
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Speaker 4: gonna go to different areas so that we can reach
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Speaker 4: different people, because it's people hurting all over this world.
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Speaker 4: It's people grieving all over this world, and it may
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Speaker 4: not be grieving the loss of a loved one. You
17:12
Speaker 4: talk about the devastation that took place in Tennessee, North Carolina, Florida,
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Speaker 4: South Carolina. You know, a lot of people lost a lot,
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Speaker 4: They lost a lot of memories, They lost a lot
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Speaker 4: of things that cannot be replaced, and they will be
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Speaker 4: forever grieving those things. And sometimes we never get over
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Speaker 4: those things. Because I tell you, even though my mom
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Speaker 4: has been going since nineteen ninety one, a mom passed
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Speaker 4: away April thirteen, nineteen ninety one, twelve days after my
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Speaker 4: sixty day, I never feit it. But every day I
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Speaker 4: press past, you know, I press past different things. I've
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Speaker 4: lost a lot of people that have been close to me,
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Speaker 4: that have different things in my life. My cousin Tony,
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Speaker 4: who was like a brother to me, my best friend,
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Speaker 4: my twin whatever. We laughed, we joke, we created memories.
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Speaker 4: We did some things that you know, I probably would
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Speaker 4: have never done with nobody else. But that was my
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Speaker 4: big cousin, that was my big brother, that was my friend.
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Speaker 4: He encouraged me to go back to school, y'all, and
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Speaker 4: here it is. I'm working on my masters now. It's like,
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Speaker 4: I thank God for understanding that my little ones are
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Speaker 4: always gonna be with me. But y'all, it hurts sometimes
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Speaker 4: that they're not here physically to enjoy the moment with you,
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Speaker 4: to hold you, to hug you, to you know, crack
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Speaker 4: no corny jokes or you know they did to make
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Speaker 4: you laugh, make you cry, sometime, make you angry, sometime,
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Speaker 4: make it whatever it was you you you couldn't do
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Speaker 4: nothing but love them because they were your loved ones.
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Speaker 4: So I cherish all those moments, those moments, those memories.
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Speaker 4: You know, my cousin is coming up on I think
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Speaker 4: my cousin is going three years. Tony's been going three
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Speaker 4: years now. This is gonna be three years he's been gone.
19:30
Speaker 4: His birthdays in December. Y'all these months are right right together,
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Speaker 4: and it's always holiday months that we usually go through this.
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Speaker 4: So I just want you all to know that we're
19:45
Speaker 4: gonna be out here working on some things, trying to
19:48
Speaker 4: incorporate some things, trying to get some things going for
19:51
Speaker 4: those that may be going through. So if you've come
19:53
Speaker 4: in and on a post, you have had the same
19:58
Speaker 4: questions I've had but just didn't want to ask them
20:01
Speaker 4: or didn't know where to ask them, or you have
20:04
Speaker 4: questions that hey, nobody's answered or asked and you want
20:09
Speaker 4: to ask them, you want them answer. This is a
20:12
Speaker 4: great opportunity to ask those questions to get those questions answered.
20:17
Speaker 4: So make sure that you are following me Chanette junkson
20:23
Speaker 4: go to a Unique Parker or Unique Parker is what
20:27
Speaker 4: she go by. Again. These are two amazing individuals that
20:33
Speaker 4: are also have been through grief, have experienced grief, experiencing grief,
20:39
Speaker 4: and probably we go experiencing again, but they have been
20:42
Speaker 4: through it and they are willing to talk about it
20:45
Speaker 4: because they are not only want to heal themselves, but
20:49
Speaker 4: they want to heal others. And it's a process. It's
20:53
Speaker 4: a journey, and we all know that we have to
20:56
Speaker 4: go through it and we're gonna have our moments. Some
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Speaker 4: people may understand, some people may not. So love on
21:05
Speaker 4: those that understand you, willing to be there for you,
21:10
Speaker 4: willing to go through this with you. If you need
21:13
Speaker 4: an outlet, know that we are here. I'm here. I
21:18
Speaker 4: may not be all together all the time, but hey,
21:24
Speaker 4: I try to press even in my going through even
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Speaker 4: in my moments, I try to go and make sure
21:33
Speaker 4: I have my time for me. If I gotta cry,
21:38
Speaker 4: lay down, take a nap, get back up and do
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Speaker 4: what I need to do to keep pressing, then that's
21:43
Speaker 4: what I do, if I gotta go, have me and
21:47
Speaker 4: me and by myself take a walk in the park,
21:51
Speaker 4: you know, whatever it is that I feel like I
21:54
Speaker 4: need to do. At that moment, I realized that y'all,
21:58
Speaker 4: we only have one life, and it's that dash that
22:05
Speaker 4: it's gonna matter. So what are you leaving in that dash?
22:09
Speaker 4: I hope that my legacy will be a legacy that
22:12
Speaker 4: people will talk about for generations to come, that they'll
22:16
Speaker 4: be able to take some of the neggas that I've dropped,
22:19
Speaker 4: and podcasts and and and books and and different outlets
22:25
Speaker 4: and be able to utilize them to help guide them
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Speaker 4: on this journey. They that they gotta go on, because
22:33
Speaker 4: everybody got a journey. You know. Our time here is
22:36
Speaker 4: gonna expire one day, but those that are coming after us,
22:42
Speaker 4: those that are coming after us. So I'm gonna go
22:48
Speaker 4: ahead and get on off here. I got a couple
22:50
Speaker 4: of more minutes, So before I leave, I want to
22:54
Speaker 4: share a couple of things with you, guys. Shout out
22:57
Speaker 4: to all of those that have joined the larger in
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Speaker 4: twenty one Days of Prayer Anthology, y'all, we are already.
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Speaker 4: We're eighty one day's from release. We have been pre
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Speaker 4: selling the book. You can pre order your e copy
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Speaker 4: of the book only ninety nine cent y'all. I'm telling
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Speaker 4: you this one is gonn unless you. We have some
23:19
Speaker 4: amazing individuals sharing their testimony. Y'all. We're standing on Psalms
23:24
Speaker 4: one twenty one. We have now been standing on it
23:27
Speaker 4: for five years. Those that follow me know that I
23:31
Speaker 4: am one third of the L three movement, which is
23:33
Speaker 4: Shaniya Osborne, who is the learned, Pamela J. Hayes, who
23:39
Speaker 4: is the Love, and of course I am the lead. Y'all.
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Speaker 4: This is our third book, y'all. Even though we have
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Speaker 4: already reached number one in new release, in Prayer, number
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Speaker 4: one in new release and Spiritual Meditation, y'all, we can
24:00
Speaker 4: keep going, keep going, keep going. All you have to
24:02
Speaker 4: do is go over support us, download your copy so
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Speaker 4: that when it drops on December the thirty first, or before,
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Speaker 4: it may drop before, but when it drops, you will
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Speaker 4: get your copy downloaded directly. I'm telling you, y'all, not
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Speaker 4: only when you support us, y'all. Make us look good, y'all.
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Speaker 4: Give other people an opportunity to see what we're what
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Speaker 4: we're what we're putting out. So y'all go over, grab
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Speaker 4: your pre order, be ready to download. Also, if you
24:39
Speaker 4: are a believer, you have a testimony if God has
24:42
Speaker 4: done something for you. It may be something small to you,
24:46
Speaker 4: but it may be huge to somebody else. You never
24:49
Speaker 4: know what the next person may be in need of,
24:51
Speaker 4: or what they may what you may be able to
24:55
Speaker 4: pour into them that may help them go to the
24:57
Speaker 4: next level or come out of what they're going through.
25:01
Speaker 4: If if, if you can see the sign behind me,
25:05
Speaker 4: I I've shared it on my my Facebook page. If
25:07
Speaker 4: your on Facebook, you see it on Facebook. It says
25:11
Speaker 4: three phases of a storm. I often tell people there's
25:17
Speaker 4: three phases of a storm because people always say after
25:23
Speaker 4: the storm, this this and this, this is and this,
25:27
Speaker 4: But in actuality and reality, there's three phases of a storm.
25:32
Speaker 4: You're either going in a storm, you in the midst
25:35
Speaker 4: of a storm, or you coming out of a storm.
25:39
Speaker 4: And know that once one storm ends and and you
25:45
Speaker 4: have grasped that lesson, because storms come to teach you
25:48
Speaker 4: a lesson, come t to reveal something to you to
25:52
Speaker 4: take you to that next level. Y'all, don't think that
25:55
Speaker 4: storms come toinue to hold you back, because they don't
26:01
Speaker 4: storms come to push you forward, to make you understand
26:06
Speaker 4: that this may happen. This could be you can go
26:11
Speaker 4: this way, or you can go this way. But either
26:14
Speaker 4: whichever way you go, he always got the last say
26:20
Speaker 4: because in Proverbs twenty one and one, it says the
26:24
Speaker 4: king the powers in the King's hands. He can turn
26:27
Speaker 4: the rivers of water whichever way he wants to. He
26:30
Speaker 4: can turn it to the left, he can turn it
26:32
Speaker 4: to the right, y'all, and he can drive up if
26:35
Speaker 4: he want to. So know that he has that power.
26:39
Speaker 4: So no matter what your situation is. I tended the
26:43
Speaker 4: service on yesterday and the pastor talked about the fourth quarter,
26:48
Speaker 4: the fourth quarter. If you are a Falcons fan, know
26:52
Speaker 4: that last week during the fourth quarter was when the
26:56
Speaker 4: Falcon won. They came back and they won. And she
27:02
Speaker 4: said that that's gonna be a lot of people. When
27:06
Speaker 4: people have counted you out, when people have thrown you
27:09
Speaker 4: to the wolves, when people have thrown you to the dolls,
27:11
Speaker 4: when they've throwed you to the house, when they've fed
27:13
Speaker 4: you off, when they've done everything but lift you up,
27:17
Speaker 4: inspire you, push you, mold you, and help you to
27:22
Speaker 4: become a better person. When they think that you're out here,
27:29
Speaker 4: come God. Guess what, He's gonna be the only one
27:35
Speaker 4: that can get the glory because man can't get this glory.
27:41
Speaker 4: Man can't get this one. Because see, man have tried
27:45
Speaker 4: to take a lot of people's glory. And if y'all
27:49
Speaker 4: see what's going on in the media and how people
27:53
Speaker 4: have tried to glorify themselves and how to make themselves
27:56
Speaker 4: higher than the one that created them. He said he
28:00
Speaker 4: created you in his image. He didn't create you equally
28:04
Speaker 4: to him. He said in his image. That means in
28:06
Speaker 4: his likeness. That does not mean that you were him.
28:12
Speaker 4: See a lot of us we get these words and
28:14
Speaker 4: we want to twist them. We want to flip them,
28:16
Speaker 4: we want to roll them. We want to do them
28:19
Speaker 4: and make them what we want them to be. Not
28:20
Speaker 4: so second say not add none, I take nothing away.
28:28
Speaker 4: So I want to thank everyone that joined me on
28:30
Speaker 4: today again. If you want to join me inside of
28:34
Speaker 4: this anthology alongside Pam and Shineera and those other amazing
28:40
Speaker 4: writers contributors has already contributed. You can't only thirteen dollars
28:44
Speaker 4: and thirty three cent share your testimony. What you may
28:48
Speaker 4: have went through may be able to help someone else
28:50
Speaker 4: come out of what they are going through or help
28:55
Speaker 4: them not go through what you went through. So y'all
28:59
Speaker 4: be encouraged on today. Know that it's okay to not
29:02
Speaker 4: be okay, but it's okay to talk about it. Get
29:06
Speaker 4: it off, your chance to let it out. And if
29:09
Speaker 4: you need professional help, your professional help. Y'all know we
29:11
Speaker 4: have nine eight eight, call it, use it if you
29:15
Speaker 4: need it. You need to sit down on somebody's couch.
29:19
Speaker 4: Go sit down on somebody's couch. There are people that
29:21
Speaker 4: look just like you that understand that can talk you
29:24
Speaker 4: through it. I know I had to go there and
29:27
Speaker 4: been there, and if I need to do it again,
29:29
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be doing it again. I love y'all. I
29:32
Speaker 4: appreciate y'all. I hope y'all have a great rest of
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Speaker 4: y'all day. Okay, y'all, I'll be blessed. I had a seconds.
29:47
Speaker 4: See ya later.