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Man up? Or Woman Up? · Goon Tavern

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in today.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Goon Tavern.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: I am your host, Jamie McKeever, and I am the Goon.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really ticked off right now over a lot of things, but you know what?
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to be a voice for men today, specifically.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: There is something that I have noticed from being on the other end.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think far too often we often hear very much, usually, a lot of the issues that women in the church struggle with, difficulties, single parents, single mothers, I should say, divorced women, women that have had adultery committed upon them, women that are frustrated because their husbands are trapped in the sin of pornography.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm going to talk about something today that I think is neglected in the pulpit.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sure these are familiar phrases that we have all heard before from the pulpit specifically.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Man up.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Men, you need to lead better.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Men, you need to die to yourself.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be the servant leader.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: If we fix men, we fix everything else.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Men, you need to stop lusting.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Then you also need to stop and check your anger.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Men, you're not doing enough.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: You need to work harder.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: You need to make your wife happy.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Happy wife, happy life.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's quite a blasphemous statement if I've ever heard it in my life.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I there's a few points that I want to get through, and it's basically going over the responsibility of husbands and their role to their families and to their wives.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm gonna do it differently.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And when I go through these, the whole idea basically is to take it from an angle that is not talked about in the church.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's usually always the same rhetoric that is browbeaten into the men of the church.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And the truth is a lot of people don't want to acknowledge this, but a lot of men are leaving the church, especially single men.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of reasons for that that are not being talked about.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, I think most of the time, pastors, I don't think, really care about the struggles of men and what they go through because usually it's not ever addressed or even encouraged when there are struggles that men have.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: But that's just not reality.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I know that a lot of people go after the statistic of where if a husband gets saved, the likelihood of the rest of the family becoming saved is a high percentage.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I acknowledge that.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think where they get it wrong, though, is they put all of the responsibility on men and husbands, especially, but yet they do not give him the authority over his own home.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll explain more about what that is basically later.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: But let's go through some of these five points and then I'm gonna break them down pretty much.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: There's a few of them, and it might be, I think it might be a few more than five points.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: But the first one that we always hear very often is love your wives like Christ.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Give yourself up for her.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you have love her as your own flesh, talks about anyone who has their own flesh, they take care of it, they nurture it, they eat properly, they groom themselves, they take care of themselves when they have a wound, they nurture it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the other one is, of course, to provide for her and her family.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: The other one is you wash her with the word, you basically encourage her with the word, you pray over her, okay?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: The other one, as well, is be a spiritual leader.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: That is another command that is given to husbands.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: And forgive me if I missed any, but those are the main ones.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to go over each point.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, let's just go over the first one that we hear quite often quoted um in churches.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that's from Ephesians, of course.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, uh, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now, a lot of people take this and they say, let's like, this is the servant leader approach of the husband.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Now, yes, Christ came to serve, but he also came to lead.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: The main focal point of Christ was to lead by example the best he can.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes what happens, though, is that becomes basically a whipping post of husbands anytime they fall short in this category that they're expected to be just like Jesus.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sorry, like uh pastors, we all know that's not true.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: We also, wives, I'm pretty sure you know that your husband is not Jesus.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: And some of you might chuckle with me saying that, but I don't say in a a mean way, but I think we tend to like hold this super high standard to men, and then whenever they fall short of it, we don't show a lot of grace, we don't show a lot of understanding or mercy.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: We always usually, if you hear it from a pulpit, it's usually always this idea that husbands are boneheaded idiots.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: We make fun of them in church.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime there's a woman's retreat, you know, there's always got to be some joke of like, oh, it's amazing that the kids showed up and they're dressed and they actually been fed and everything because men are just morons.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: We have basically adopted the whole Homer Simpson kind of mentality in the church of how we talk to men.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: We don't build them up, we do not encourage them, we do not try to push them towards greatness, instead, we always are ready to lay down the hammer very quickly.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And as far as like, you know, this this first point, you know, like love your wives like Christ gave them up, uh love your wives like Christ.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe it.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: We we lay ourselves down.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: I see so many good men that lay down their lives for their wives.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to think about something too that's not thought about at all.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, husbands give up their dreams so that their wife's dreams can come true.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't usually go the other way around a lot of the times.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not acknowledged.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: It really isn't.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know so many men that are in dead-end jobs they hate, they go because they love their families, they get up super early, they some people go into very harsh conditions, either it be hot in the sun or in cold winter storms to work if they have a trade, and they do it over and over and over again.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: The alarm clock goes off at 4 in the morning, 5 a.m.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: They get up, and sometimes men just don't feel appreciated, they just don't.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: And understand this too, because there's a habit that really drives me nuts.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime I like might be calling someone out, if you're not that person, I'm not talking to you.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're upset with what I'm saying, maybe you are that person, and that's not my problem.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: If you feel convicted, convicted, praise God.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Treat your wife, your wife, not your wife, your husband better.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: So what happens is we have this like love your life like Christ is the idea of like a sacrificial uh leader, and that is pushed to the brink of meaning almost anything, to the point of where it's like, well, if she's not happy, if she's not content, if she's struggling with something, you give into what she desires.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that's always healthy.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that when Christ had the idea of the bride of Christ and the bride, that there was never this idea that there was not something that the bride gives to Christ.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so if we're really gonna say that the husband is Christ, okay, I'm sure there's plenty tons of ladies that are not going to worship their husbands.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and honestly, that would be idolatry.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: But let's just take that aside for a second.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when's the last time, ladies, you called your husband Lord, like Sarah did to Abraham?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, no, I'm not gonna do that.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: He's an idiot.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: See, the if if you have an idea of your spouse in your head already, and if it's negative, you need to check yourself.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: That is supposed to be flesh of your flesh that you love.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: That is the husband of your children, the one you made vows to.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know what fantasy you got yourself into with the idea that you thought he was always going to be this great guy, he was never gonna make any mistakes, there never was gonna be any struggles, there never were gonna be any times where you doubted him for a second.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's just ridiculous.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's just not reality.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime your marriage becomes about you, you've already lost the point of marriage.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I have a big problem with pastors because a lot of times the focal point of marriage is always about what the wife feels, what the wife is getting out of it, what she is thinking, her needs.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that, like, I'm not saying husbands shouldn't think of those things.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: But let's be clear though, every marriage is about loving each other.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, come on, you really expect young men to be excited about going into marriage when the idea is that everything is about what the wife wants all the time because you take this verse completely out of context to the idea of like any thought that comes into her head, he has to bow down and just go with it because he's supposed to be the servant leader.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, that's not leading, that's her leading.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So for it's it's kind of like uh hypocritical because you're you're wanting two things to exist at the same time that don't.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can't have it where someone leads when someone else is telling you what to do all the time, or suggesting what you should do all the time, and then when you whine about it, basically the husband just gives in because he doesn't want to hear it anymore.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And he just shuts down because he feels degraded, he feels castrated, he feels unappreciated.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um the other one is you know, love her as his own flesh.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: So what would that look like?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that would mean obviously he's concerned about her health, he's concerned about her well-being, and that goes spiritually as well.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: It means that if he sees a blind spot in your life, ladies, and he points it out in a gentle and loving way, as he should, if you push back with the idea why are you bringing this up or you don't understand or make excuses, are you really allowing him to lead?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Your husband is meant to be the person that sees the best and worst of you.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, nobody likes to bring up the faults of another person.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: I think everyone can acknowledge that.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if your husband sees something in your life, ladies, uh, that he's concerned about, and that could be a number of things.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: Here's a good example, okay?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, if if he's supposed to look out for your well-being, if you have friends in your life that are bad examples of what Christian women should be like, and your husband says, you know what, I'm kind of concerned about uh some of these friends that you've been spending time with.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: Is he allowed?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: Does he have to ask permission to say such a thing to you to get your thoughts on that?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Or are you going to say, Oh, I didn't I didn't think about that.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why do you why do you think that?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Expand on that.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Please, husband, explain to me why you think these people are not good for me.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: And let's say he spells it out.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, they're gossipers, they don't talk well about their husbands in front of you.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: They're worldly, they don't share the same values that we do.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh where you guys hang out or where you guys go are not the best environments for you to be in.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just concerned for your spiritual well-being, and I don't think you should spend time with those people.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what are you gonna do, ladies?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: He's controlling, he's controlling me.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, there's a there's an element of like control.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is this is a this is a typical um red herring that's thrown out quite a lot.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime a husband does try to take the lead, a lot of times it's thrown back in his face that he's controlling.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Now, granted, there are elements of like what real bad controlling is, where it's like the idea he's checking your phone every 10 seconds, who were you with last night, where did you go?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: What did you do this night?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you hanging out with?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's asking all these interrogating questions.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: That is entirely different than him coming to you and saying, you know, Han, I've noticed uh how these ladies are that you're hanging out with, and I just don't think they're the best company.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think, and maybe give some suggestions, man.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think you might want to think, consider these other ladies to spend time with.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think it would be better.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Are you going to submit to him or are you just going to go complain to the pastor that he's controlling you?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because that happens too.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: Pastors end up being a bunch of white knights that basically insert themselves as being the husband when they're not supposed to be.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: They overstep their authority of the authority of a husband.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the problem is we have it now where in churches that sometimes complaints are made to the pastor before a husband even knows what is going on.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen it so many times where like wives will end up going to the pastor, they'll complain about several things that they have issues with their husbands, some of it truthful, some of it not truthful.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then by the time the husband finds out about it, it's either that the wife is practically checked out completely, or the pastor has already made accusations in his own head of what he thinks about the husband to begin with.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: These are huge problems that a lot of men are dealing with in the church and nobody cares about.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: We'll go into another part, okay?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Providing for her and the family.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's a biblical aspect for husbands as well.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be honest with you, I really don't get this one, honestly.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: I have not met anyone where a husband has not provided for his family in the church.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't experienced it personally.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: If if there is, I would bet money that that man is probably not a believer, and that might be a different case.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but from my experience, I would say a large portion of husbands that I know in the church work very hard for their family.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, a lot of their jobs are not glamorous, they're not like a dream job.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: Husband gives up a lot of their dreams for their family.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: They die sometimes on the work, depending on what it is.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: They get very little sleep, some work out in, as I mentioned, hard conditions so that their family can eat and have a warm place to live.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's a form of love in and of itself.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: That is sacrificial leadership.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we confuse the idea of sacrificial leadership as if that centers around the wife completely and not the whole family as a whole.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's problematic.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um the other thing is too is like washing her with the word.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: It talks about washing her with the word.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, what does that look like?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, like devotions, you know, having quiet time with your spouse.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Make time for that.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that this is probably something that I will I will give some, you know, some points to in the sense that I know that uh that type of of intimacy is not always easy for guys to just it doesn't mean that they don't like praying.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it might not be their strongest suit.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, here's the thing, ladies, like be a helper in that area.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe he's not the best at remembering.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Help him to try, you know.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Give him encouragement.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like, hey, you know, when you shared that verse with me, that really that helped me take on the rest of the day when I was with the kids.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or it helped me to deal with this issue that I had with someone in the church and I didn't know quite how to address it properly or in a loving way.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: The scripture is also for correction as well.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so we cannot be mad at a husband who ends up leading and then be criticized at the same time when he's trying to lead.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Now, granted, we can all day critique the idea of like, well, what's good leadership, what's bad leadership?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And, well, how do we know if it's biblical or if it's not biblical?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think what happens is a lot of times in marriages where there's like huge issues, it's mostly has to do with the idea of each person is getting out of their roles to begin with.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can't have it where a wife is leading at the same time as a husband.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: It won't work.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure that George Washington would not be an effective general if his soldiers would not submit to his authority.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've basically have castrated all men in the church.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: We all these things that I have listed, you know, the idea of like man up, you need to do better, you need to lead better.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Guys, you you gotta stop lusting, you gotta stop having anger.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: And all those things, like, you know, I guarantee you, like, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna say something that's gonna take people out, but I'm telling you, I have put down posts on Facebook, okay, where it's either against men or it's against women.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know who I always get the most flack from all the time?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Women.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: If I put any verse out, especially from Ephesians, I don't get any pushback from any guys that say, I'm not gonna provide.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Screw that lady, I'm not gonna love her.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why would I want to do that?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: She's a jerk anyway.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: She's not respecting me.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: She doesn't care about me as a person.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Why should I love her?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: But he still gets up at 5 a.m.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: to go to work.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I'm sorry, there's a huge issue I think from my perspective is is that ladies do not want accountability.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: They do not want responsibility for their roles, particularly.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Here's some other things that like I think are not addressed either, okay?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And this is uh a big one to me.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I just saw this like post.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Not that long ago.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's from someone on X, and this has to do with, like, of course, pornography.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I have been in churches where pornography has been addressed tons of times.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time, it's always uh for sure focused on the men.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: And granted, it's it's not any it's no secret that men do struggle with pornography.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: But here's some something.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is from uh Gia uh MacCool, and she's on X, and she wrote this.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think it was like it was like today, I believe she wrote it, but porn gets blamed for sexless marriages because it's an easy scapegoat.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: Admitting I don't desire my husband anymore hits too close to home.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I would say this is true for a lot of men, a lot of husbands.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's why the endless porn lecture on X never stops.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Christian conservatives hide behind cross emojis, virtual singling, and finger wagging to dodge their own hypocrisy.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: You'll never hear them preach the truth.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, don't deprave your husbands.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, no sex is breaking your vow.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, dressing sexy, flirt, and keep the spark fun.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, it's bikinis are basically porn.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Don't talk about sex.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's immodest.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a wife, not a porn star.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: Men don't need sex.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: Men are just degenerate anyways.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: No better anti-marriage campaign exists than modern Christian conservatism.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: They're not holy.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: They're prudes, wrapped in self-righteousness, making religion their own identity while starving the very covenant they claim to defend.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Sex isn't optional in marriage.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's a vow.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: Withhold it and you no longer will have a marriage, period, she writes.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: It says in scripture, do not deprave each other.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Husbands, you do not own your bodies, but your wife does.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Wife, you do not own your bodies, but your husband does.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Except for a reasonable part of time, agreement, substain, and then come together so that you were not tempted.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: Do you really mean to tell me?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's here's this is the thing that I think is not discussed, the other side of the coin.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: We always want to talk about men that are addicted to pornography or that they're looking at pornography, because a small percentage are actually addicted.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: They just view it.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: How many of those men do you think it's because their wives have stopped having sex with them?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: Am I allowed to ask that question?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or am I not allowed to ask that question because, oh, Jamin, are you saying that guys should be allowed to look at pornography and that they have an excuse?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not making an excuse.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: I am just saying.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, do you care about protecting your husband from the enemy?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: Wives, do you care that your husband has desires and urges to want to be with you physically?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: How many times, ladies, do you have to tell him you have a headache?
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: How many times, ladies, do you have to say I don't feel like it tonight?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: A man can only take that for so long and then just not even bother anymore.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because he just stops trying.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's not worth it.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think he wants to get in an argument every time?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: You always want sex.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Golly.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: That such a terrible thing that his uh a husband should desire his wife, even though Song of Solomon is written all over it.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: Golly, give me a break.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's disgusting.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, it's absolutely disgusting.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: Could you imagine the uproar and the absolute bitching we would hear if there was any time a man from the pulpit said, you know what, ladies?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Your emotions are not the most important thing, and your husband doesn't have to actually cater to them all the time.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: I could only imagine what that would do.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: Are you kidding me?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: Or if uh some pastor said, you know, you know, ladies, um, you need to just uh, you know, put out, you know.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: My mom used to call it mercy sex.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I'm comfortable with talking about that with my my parents.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: They have an amazing marriage, they've been married for 50 years now.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom talked about that.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: They'd like, you know, especially in our early years, it was you would get tired, you'd have kids, you worked all day, and sometimes there was just like, you know, you didn't have a lot of time, you know, and you made time for it.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: And the idea of how my mom looked at it is that even if she was not in the mood or she was actually seriously tired, though, she still gave in to my father to serve him in that way.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: Why, ladies?
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because she understood that he needed it.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And if you ladies think that once a month, I would even say once a week is just ridiculous.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: Now, granted, as you get older, it's probably not as often, but there's a lot of marriages out there that are sexless, and I think that's unhealthy.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: I guarantee you that the most healthy marriages are the ones that are have engage in sexual activity more.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think they probably have a much more healthy marriage.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think my mom also said that like sex is the uh temperature of the marriage or something like a thermometer, I guess.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or sex is as good as the marriage.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think that there's a lot of men out there that don't want to please their wives, that they don't care about their wives' feelings or their emotions.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't see a lot of that.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: I really honestly don't.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: And this is not too like we're talking about men right now, too, because this is what kind of ticks me off.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: Is like I know there's some ladies probably listening, there's like, you don't know my situation.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you're right, I don't.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: But we're not talking about you right now.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: We're just talking about a lot of men in the church that feel very defeated.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: They feel defeated.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is not what they should be feeling in church.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: They should be feeling victorious, they should be feeling strong.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do they have to always be put down every Father's Day?
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: How many times has it happened?
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you'll have it where you'll have the Mother's Day sermon, and golly, man, uh, you ladies are always perfect.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I don't know of any Mother's Day where it it's like full force, like, okay, we're gonna talk about how you're being a bad mother and how you should do better.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that ever happens.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: I could be totally wrong.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Please.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: Please send me something that says otherwise.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: But I've been to so many Father's Day sermons, dude, where it's always like, you just need to love her, guys.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: You need to love your wife like Christ.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: Need to fight your lust, you need to stop being angry.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Don't provoke your children to wrath, work harder.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I'll I'll be honest, like, I think there are a lot of men that they they adore their wives.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I mean, think of it.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: I I want you to think of this too, like wives that are might be listening.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: If your wife if you end up where your husband is no longer initiating intimacy with you, that's a huge red flag, ladies.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: And that now the question can be too, like the because we're not talking about again, we're not talking about men right now.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I don't want to hear all the excuses like, well, we've got the face.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're not talking about that right now.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking from a men's perspective, ladies.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: You should ask yourself and self-observe yourself, why is it that we're not having sex anymore?
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: What has happened that that is the case?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: It could be the case that he might be looking at pornography, it could be the case that he's emotionally involved with someone else, and that's not good either.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is not excusing his sin.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: However, there are reasons why marriages grow cold.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: And usually when adultery takes place, it's because something is lacking in the relationship that was there that isn't there any longer, and they go seeking it other places.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if we keep on treating men like they're a bunch of sexist sex maniacs that are just wanting to have sex with their wives, oh gosh, I can only think of worse things to think of.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: A husband wants to have sex with his wife.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why do you think he got married?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: We we we chastise young men that like don't burn with passion, don't look at pornography.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: You expect young men to actually be uh completely sexual, uh free from any scars of sexuality up to age 35, basically now, 35 to 40 is when they're getting married.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that goes for women as well.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: You expect women that go off to college, go into the sexual grinder of a Marxist college with feminism being taught to become a boss babe, get a fat career, and then when she's ready to settle down, there's not going to be any men at college where it's basically a sex fest, pretty much, that have run her through pretty much, where she's had multiple body counts at this point, and we really expect marriages to survive to survive that.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: Dangerous, completely dangerous.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: The sexuality is something that God has given at the point of like puberty.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's a reason for that, okay?
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think it was ever meant for people to wait until they're 35, for God's sakes.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, the excuse should always be is like, well, you know, these men are just sitting on the couch and they're playing video games and they don't care.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, you ever thought of asking the question why?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you think that is?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think it's really just the idea of like they're just wasting their lives because they're wasting their lives?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it just has to be with the fact that women aren't the same as they used to be, that the women of today are not our grandmothers.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: They just aren't.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: Here's a fact that people don't consider.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: You want young men to get married, but here's the thing: young men are actually becoming more conservative and women are becoming more liberal.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is actually documented.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: So when you have it where men are not going to college as much, because colleges have become feminized that pretty much bash men in classes, unless it's something that has to do with math specifically.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's why a lot of men are not going to college anymore.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, it's just too dang expensive.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_01: And most college is a scam at this point, either.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think Christians are still pushing college like crazy.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why, honestly.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's just stupid.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: But the same thing goes for like women.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: So women are still going to college more than men.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like 60% of all graduates now are women.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: They're not even men.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: So you have it then where young men are wanting a more traditional family idea of the home, where they have a wife that stays with the children and takes care of the home and the kids.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes and provides.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: But there are very little women like that, and even in the church today.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: There isn't.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: And they have a lot of liberal feminist ideology that men find toxic and they do not want anything to do with it.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you this the there's there's always going to be sure, same young men.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: We can talk about video games all we want, as far as wasting time.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: Men, I think they waste their time through video games, women waste their time on social media, I would say.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_01: Instagram posts, tons of selfies.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously, ladies, stop with whole bathroom selfies.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: They're so stupid.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I can't believe I actually like probably worked on the data center to basically make more room for people to put their stupid selfies in the bathroom.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: To load them up online.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: So dumb.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, side note.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: But I think what we have here is we we can't have our cake and eat it too.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: You cannot be upset with the idea of marriages failing, prolonging marriage on both sides, men and women, and at the same time, not to be shocked basically at the sexual deviance that we have in place right now.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: You have it where like less than 10%, less than 10% of Christian marriages both are virgins on their wedding night.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's staggering.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: We don't even care anymore.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like uh we just throw our sexuality like confetti and we just pretend like, oh, oh well, that's just how it is, you know.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: I know for a fact when I was looking, okay, the the only ones that were like available in my age group were either divorced already, or they had three kids, or they had multiple partners, like a ton of partners.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or they believe that, you know, having sex before a marriage was okay.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, no.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so we have these high expectations for men, but what are the expectations for women?
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: Is that a fair question to ask ourselves?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: If a man wants a virgin on his wedding night, is that too much for him to ask?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Where is he gonna find it?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Practically doesn't exist.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: So you you have two problems with it.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: You can't you can't have feminism and have it where marriages flourish and there's a lack of divorce.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: Feminism kills both those things.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, you know, I'm sure I'm gonna get uh people that are saying, like, are you saying that women shouldn't be educated?
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, I'm not saying women shouldn't be educated.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: I just think the question is like, do you have to go to college be educated?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's the question.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have to physically go to a campus?
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think that's the best thing?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh let alone to leave the care of your father's influence if you have a good godly father.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Is that wise to send women into those environments?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: But that's the thing.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: We don't believe in male headship, we don't believe in authority.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: We only believe it in the sense of a tiebreaker, and we only believe it in the sense of when everything goes wrong.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Then we definitely point towards the husband of what he's done wrong.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we make very sure of it, let me tell you.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: The other one on the list I have here is be a spiritual leader.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: Husbands lead better.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: If your wife is in rebellion or if your family isn't doing well, it's probably you to blame.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not trying to make men off the hook in terms of like, you know, to be a better spiritual leader, but is there ever a point where sin is not the husband's responsibility?
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Adam and Eve both sinned.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: They both fell.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: They both were kicked out of the garden.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't just Adam who was kicked out.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: Eve was deceived.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: So and Adam failed at his leadership and he listened to his wife.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because he should have told his wife, nope, no hun, we're not gonna do that.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna eat this fruit, we're not gonna disobey God.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: But he gave into it.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: There are times, sure, to listen to your wife's counsel and her wisdom that she has to offer.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: But not every time.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: We have to give room for men to be men and lead.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: And at times that leadership is gonna be questioned by wives.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: I get that.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: But it doesn't mean that anytime he makes a mistake, you throw it right back in his face.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you said it was gonna work, but it didn't.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: Look what happened.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes there's so many times in church where I hear it's like, oh, I gotta check with the wife.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what?
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, usually you check with your wife when it's like you're changing jobs.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Usually you check with the wife when it comes to finances, when it comes to raising your kids, if you're going to go on an expensive uh trip, or if you're gonna buy something that's lavish.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: Do you always have to ask if if you decide, like, you know, I'm gonna go to lunch with this person because they really need um some guy time right now.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have to ask permission from your wife to do so?
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now I know uh everyone's gonna be like, oh gosh, man.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, no, seriously.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's like this is the type of ridiculousness that takes place.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: A wife needs to be understanding and trust her husband when he makes decisions.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: And at some times it's gonna be hard to do so.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: But hey, ladies, do you want to be like Christ?
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't understand this a lot with ladies, honestly.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'd rather submit any day.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: The idea of submitting sounds freaking easy to me.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, I just gotta basically obey you and trust you and be a helper to you.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if anything goes to crap, it's all on you and your fault, and you're gonna be judged before God.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds great.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, so it's funny to me how like uh everything's to blame on the husband, but at the same time, like whenever it goes wrong, like wifes just like have to like dangle that over their husband's head at the same time.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: There's no sense of like mercy.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the the the preaching that has come from the pulpit has been very centralized on feeding women's egos way too much.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: Way too much.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: And understand, I'm not saying that, oh, well, the pendulum should swing the other way.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's not gonna be healthy either.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: I just want pastors to be realistic and honest, though.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Stop having these, you know, sermons where it's all about like the idea of like how terrible pornography is, but we're not gonna address the fact that there's probably men in the church that have sexless marriages.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_01: Is that a fair thing to ask?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, no, because you know what?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's like we ignore, we ignore the roles of what women have to do, but we always focus on what the men's responsibilities are.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: And anytime the men don't do the responsibilities, we automatically assume like, well, if the men were doing the responsibilities, then the women would follow suit.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm sorry.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there is nowhere in scripture where it talks about the specific roles and responsibilities for wives and the specific roles and responsibilities for husbands.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: Nowhere in there is there any clause that says, unless your spouse is not doing their job, you're free to not do your job.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: And let's just face it too, it even talks about that with unbelievers.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, so why is the church giving an out when women are married to godly men or good men, and they're doing the best they can.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: And yet we basically make it where it's like, okay, you don't have to.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can understand why you would do that.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: I can understand why you would think he's a knucklehead.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_01: We just feed it.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: And don't get me started on women's groups, because I think a lot of them are just gossip groups.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I think most of the books for women today are just fluff and crap, pretty much.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: They're just self help books wrapped in Christianity, and we try to pretend that it's actually helping our women, but I don't think it is at all.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's a lot of young women, especially, that have no freaking clue.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: How to treat a husband or how to treat um even their kids if they want to be a mother one day.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think the needs of men are always last on the list, and I rarely hear them ever talked about from the pulpit because nobody cares.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: Because women women are the ones that push churches a lot, especially financially.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then we wonder why men don't want to go to church.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, someone says, like, oh, well, that's just because they're convicted and they don't want to do the right things.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, is it?
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: Or could it just possibly be that because they go to a church that basically just caters to women are always right, they're basically God, and they don't sin, and then we act surprised when men just go, like, well, gosh, man, I just feel like crap every time I go to church.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why would why would anyone want to go to that?
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: And there's an entire entirely different thing of like someone feeling convicted, which is a good thing.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the idea of like constantly that there's just no other side of the coin.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can't always bash and not give any, you know, resolve to it.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's as dumb as like a lot of these climate change videos.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: They all talk about like the entire earth is gonna be swallowed by water, and we're all going to drown, and there's and pretty much like the only parts are gonna be the mountains left, and we're all gonna die.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: And there's nothing you can do about it.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: So just wanted to let you know.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: Good luck.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_01: So uh here's the thing.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I wouldn't mind pastors if they want to uh talk about men's sins, that's fine.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: But because I honestly think that's all they do talk about.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't know when's the last time, like, you know, there's ever been a sermon about, hey, wife, don't deprave your husband sexually.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: I can't think of the last time, like, you know, modesty was talked about in church.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_01: I can't think of a lot of things when it comes to those different topics.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'll ask this question too.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just flip it.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just take women off the table.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: When was the last time there was a sermon that talked about, you know, uh meeting the needs of your husband?
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like actually talking about, like, you know, these are things, ladies, that a husband needs to be happy.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, I'll I'll give you a hint.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give you a hint right now, okay?
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is the easiest thing, ladies.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's so easy.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: You guys honestly have the easiest job.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to make your man do anything, they they they will become a out-of-control, just like, you know, worship the ground you walk on.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: You want to know how that's done?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: Feed your man, flatter him, and have sex with him.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: And respect him.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: That would be the flattering part.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you give a man those three things, you feed him, you respect him, and you have sex with him, you will have a man that changes overnight.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: I guarantee you.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: Especially if he's a believer.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: Now, granted, if someone's an unbeliever, that probably is a different story.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: But even in that, ladies, it talks about this for men that are married to unbelievers and women that are married to unbelievers.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: He tells uh both the husband and the wife to still stay married if they are uh unwilling to leave.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: If they choose not to leave, you stay married to that person.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: What he is saying is you continue to be like Christ, man or woman, to your spouse.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, both should.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_01: Both should serve like Christ and die for each other and help each other.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: The wife is supposed to be an helper to her husband and his mission.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: The husband shouldn't have to drop everything and have it wherever his whole mission is about making his wife happy.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's honestly not a marriage, it's exhausting.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a giant sucking pole drain, you know, when you pull the plug, you know, it just sucks the life out of everything.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: As I said, when marriage becomes all about you, it's no longer marriage.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: So these are some things that men are dealing with.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: They are struggling big time.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not getting into like the whole idea of divorce on top of it.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: You have many men that struggle with divorce.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: 70 to 82 percent of all divorces are initiated by women.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times they lose their entire house for alimony, and everything they built for is just gone, depending on like what state they live in.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then you'll have it where basically their kids will be taken away from them, or they'll get way less time to spend with them than the mother would, because of how our courts have become very feminized.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of young men, especially, because I think they're just always just not considered at all, a lot of these young men, they're not avoiding marriage.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: Pastors, listen up, they're not avoiding marriage, they're avoiding divorce.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_01: You you tell me, and you gotta you gotta think about this, because I think a lot of pastors are just out to lunch.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: They do not realize how the dating field is out there at all right now.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: It is awful.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: Downright awful.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: Men are becoming more conservative, while women are becoming more liberal, and they are not meshing with each other anymore.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: But we're not going to address the liberalism that has infected women with the feminist Jezebel spirit.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: We can't do that.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_01: We can't address that because pastors act as if it doesn't exist.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: They just see all women as angels.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's just not reality.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: So you tell me when you have it where young men want to get married, but you have also women that look at men because it's like, oh, well, you only make 35,000.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: Why would I want to marry you?
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, of course, women aren't going to get married young because they don't think men have enough resources to get married, even though there's men that want to get married and start a family, because we have basically also encouraged women to go get their own careers and make their own way.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: So at the time they are ready, they're by that time 35 years old.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: And after 30 years old, your egg development drops by 50%.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_01: So the likelihood of your getting pregnant are a lot harder and more difficult.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so then when we prolong basically marriage for men and women because we don't encourage it, what do you expect is going to happen?
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's just going to be a complete disaster.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: A complete disaster.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I I I don't think people have any clue what is going on uh in the dating market right now.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of times you have these pastors, they got married, you know, in the 90s, and a lot has changed since then.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_01: I tell you, I've been on Christian Mingle and eHarmony and all this stuff.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: Before I met my fiance, I met women on there that you can even tell the difference between them and ladies in the church.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: They they said they were all Christian, but by golly, their profiles, what they were into, what they were okay with was not godly.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it's pretty bad.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Everything's self-centered around themselves.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, if you ever see a lot of these videos that these ladies post, it's usually with the idea of what she wants, not what she's going to give.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: There's just these are some things that young men and husbands are wrestling with right now.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we would do a good service to actually for once I mean, let's just say Father's Day, start there.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: Start small if you need to.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: On Father's Day, why don't you share with all the struggles that fathers go through?
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, do you think can you imagine like you you've gone through a 12-hour workday in the snow, freezing, working outside, to then come home and have it where your wife just belittles you, makes you feel small, and just complains.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, seriously, like men just want peace.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: They want to be able to come home and have peace.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: And ladies, you can do that.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: You have the ability and the power to do that more than you realize.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_01: You really do.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think pastors need to stop catering to women and being a bunch of white knights that just basically always come to the rescue whenever they see a wife cry practically.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime a wife cries during counseling, it's automatically like, oh, well, she must be telling the truth.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's manipulation.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_01: And sorry, pastors, a lot of you are falling for it.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: You got to have it where you have a balance of addressing these issues.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when we start to ignore the needs of husbands because we look at the verse of you should die and you should be a servant leader.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: Who cares what you want?
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: Who cares what your desires are?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing about you matters.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_01: We're basically telling husbands, hey, go into a marriage and basically you don't have any divid uh individuality anymore at all.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: You have no preferences, you have no uh, you know, uh ideas or or dreams.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: Forget it.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, granted, you become two, but I don't think anyone would say a marriage that's centered around one sex or the other is healthy.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: It never was meant to be that way.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's supposed to be a harmony of a husband leading his family spiritually, has a mission and a vision that his wife can come alongside him and help him with that vision and help him to accomplish it.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's not supposed to be the other way around.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_01: Never was designed that way.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so you have a lot of men that do not have their dreams fulfilled because they love their family more than their dreams.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: They will move mountains for their wives because they love them.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_01: So there has to be some like encouragement, and I I I think pastors need to re-evaluate their stance, how they approach these issues.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because I when you keep on having it where you just keep on hammering and hammering, men just feel defeated.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_01: They don't feel encouraged at all, they don't feel like they can actually take on things.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: It really sucks when you are doing everything you can and still you're told from the pulpit you're still not doing everything you can.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's really frustrating when you are being everything that the Bible tells you to be, but your wife's not on her end.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: Especially when in counseling it's never actually discussed or the wife is not held accountable to her part of her biblical role.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're just gonna keep on wondering why husbands check out, why they're not interested.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's because you basically you have a bunch of feminist pastors that are acting like pimps pretty much for a bunch of reviling wives that should not be protected at all.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: It should be exposed to the light.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: And this discussion is about you know what men are going through and young men are going through.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: And this is also about what pastors should be doing and what they're not doing, and it's also in a way also what wives are not doing and what they should be doing.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't like to do that.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I think everyone's afraid of women, and I'm not anymore.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I tell you, once you're not afraid of women, you can basically be not afraid of anything.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the truth is like for me to not say these things is to not love my sisters in Christ, it's not to love pastors and churches and marriages, especially, because I do care about marriages, I do care about my sisters in Christ.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: They deserve better teaching from their pastors.
• 57:06
  SPEAKER_01: If you just focus on 50% of the flock and you ignore the women that are hungry to know what it's like to be a godly spouse, to overcome their sin, but you never address it.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: Shame on you as a pastor.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: You are so stupid.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are we gonna start to think?
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: That like the gospel only applies to like, you know, uh men?
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is that what we're gonna do?
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then we just tickle the emotions of women in our speech and language from the pulpit and somehow think that that's just gonna make them into a Proverbs 31 woman.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, but a lot of these ladies who think they're a Proverbs 31 woman, they're not.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: They're not.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're all trying to act like boss babes and they want to have it all.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_01: I want to have a career and I want to put my kids in daycare, and I'm just basically going to subcontract out raising my kids to a secular public school that's gonna teach them about Marxism and to hate God and to hate Christianity and pronouns and every other kind of crap under the sun.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then we wonder why everything is all screwed up.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because we allow women to make decisions when men should be making these decisions.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, and partially, that is men, weak men that have become castrated because of feminism to allow such crap to seep into the church.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: And if it is not dealt with sooner or later, you are gonna have it where the church is gonna crumble as it hoardy is in a lot of areas, honestly.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because too many men feel defeated, they feel unneeded, unwanted, and they are castrated with their masculinity to lead, because we expect all of the responsibility without any of the authority that is given to them in Scripture to be the head of their own household, because we allow women to rule the household, and pastors enable it, and pastors do not call it out.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's sinful, it's wrong, and it needs to be dealt with.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's not dealt with soon, don't be surprised when your church has fallen apart.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be surprised when you have divorce after divorce after divorce.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be surprised when you have kids leave the church when they graduate high school and never come back.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be surprised that they decide to become more liberal and leftist and hate Christianity.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be surprised.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that's about all I have to say today.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_01: I thank you so much for tuning in.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: Always appreciate you and continue to pray for us as I shall continue to pray for you.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_01: And God is amazing, he's great.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: These are hard topics, I know, but it needs to be said because if it's not said, then I don't love you and I don't care about the truth.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_01: So until next time, I want you all to know that you are appreciated, and I care about you guys, and there is a huge battle going on out there, and we need to be ready to fight this.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_01: There is an evil, feminist, demonic spirit out there that needs to be swayed.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I pray for all of your marriages out there that you will continue to do what is right for those of you that are, and if you're not doing that, you're convicted either way.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_01: I pray that you repent what is over.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_01: Jim McKear, once again, for the good album, and I appreciate you and I hope you have a good day.