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Phrases That Come Out Condescending · The Cubby and Christine Morning Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Humpday.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Weatherwise, much better than yesterday. Cloudy this morning. I think
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we'll see sun later and high of eighty five. There
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: could be a thunderstorm in the afternoon, but nothing crazy
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: like yesterday.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Although I want to tell you something real quick that
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: was kind of cute.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Yesterday, Christine, my four year old son Miles, all day
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: kept saying, there's a tomato watch.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, watch over flying tomatoes.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Look at for flying tomatoes. For some reason, he kept
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: turning tornado watch into Tomato watch.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: And it was very endearing.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: I it sounds like more fun.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, all right.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: You know how you're like such a good friend and
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: sometimes you feel like you're always prepared with just the
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: right thing to say. And I'm not talking to you, Christine,
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: talking about some people that just always just seem to
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: be helpful and say the right things. Well, there are
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: some common phrases that you may think are nice, but
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: they're coming across condescending. And we have that right here.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: There's an expert talking about it.
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Yes, a communication expert and psychotherapist Elizabeth Crane says feel
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Free says that you may be using that come off
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: as condescending or patronizing, and one of them is oh,
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: how cute. Now, when you talked about Miles, Yes, he's
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: legit cute and what he said is cute. But to
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: an adult she said, it could come off as belittling.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: It's also not appropriate or helpful to label things like
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: someone's understanding of something or effort to try to do
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: something as cute.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that cute, you try cute. So we have
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: a big meeting with our boss today.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: If she says somewhere during the conversation, oh, how cute, cubby.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that might not be good. Yeah, oh that's a
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: red flag.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: When you say well, actually so, what usually follows is
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: some sort of man splaining or something that doesn't need
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: to be explained to that person. Well actually, well actually
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: it's almost like you're telling them what they said is wrong.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm trying to think of something similar
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: to that. It's almost like, oh my gosh, what's there's
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: a phrase that happens all the time, like, uh, I
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: don't want to don't want to, I can't think of it.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes people are just airing the grievances, you know,
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: they just want to be heard and you don't have
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: to well, actually them, you could just you know it,
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: just actually just be there for them. You can say
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: to the person you're trying your best, but it sounds
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: like that's a low expectation and are surprised that the
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: person you're talking to managed to even get to that level.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Kristen says that a lot to me. I'll be like,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: you know what, I wasn't very good in that last
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: segment and she's.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Like, eh, you know you're trying.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: You tried your best.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I really am.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I am trying, but sometimes it just the wheels fall off.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I have had people say that to me. Okay, so
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: now I know you just need to. Now, that could
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: be that you're implying that the other person's current direction
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: is wrong. They're going the wrong way, and you're going,
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: you know what, you just need to.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't I don't know why. I don't have
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: a problem with that though, you just need to. Well,
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: to me, they're trying to help me.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: More if you take it that way, if you're open
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: to it.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it could be condescending.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Again, like I said, sometimes sometimes we just we want
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: to complain and we just want you to listen. If
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: you say, oh, well, that's not a big deal. I mean,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: come on, you're saying that that's not important. It's important
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: to that person problem you, Yeah, discontinue their experience and
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: feelings on the matter. So if it's a big deal
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: to them, it is just yeah, and you wouldn't understand.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: See that's just straight up rude.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: I think so too, But you're implying that the other
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: person isn't smart enough to know what you're talking about.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Now again, these sayings are bad in everyday life, but
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: especially like at work.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and also if you're trying to be there for
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: someone and listen to them. Again, like if you come
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: back with one of these, you wouldn't understand things.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, I know.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: That's like if you want to come at someone and
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: go with that