Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / What's Holding You Back? | a conversation with *spider killer* Carlos Whittaker

Transcript

What's Holding You Back? | a conversation with *spider killer* Carlos Whittaker · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:18
SPEAKER_02: Hi friends, welcome back to the Simply Whole Hearted Podcast.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: And if you are new here, we are so glad you've joined us.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: Ashley Pittman and I, Amy Wicks, are your hosts of the Simply Whole Hearted Podcast.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: We believe we are all on a journey to live out the call to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
0:37
SPEAKER_02: Our mission is to inspire and equip you to live an unplugged, purposeful, and intentional life.
0:43
SPEAKER_02: We hope to encourage you by sharing stories of friends, new and old alike, who are living out their calling and purpose with passion.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: And thanks to our friends from Inner the Worship Circle for the music you hear in the background.
0:55
SPEAKER_02: Ben Pazley and Carla Adolph have been so kind to share their song Heavenly Things from their album down here and up above.
1:02
SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow them for their latest releases and profound thoughts at inner the worshipcircle.com and all things social.
1:10
SPEAKER_02: Well, happy Valentine's Week.
1:13
SPEAKER_02: Yesterday was Valentine's Day and the first day of Lent.
1:17
SPEAKER_02: Lit is the observation of the 40 days leading up to Easter.
1:21
SPEAKER_02: We learned a little bit about the church calendar and lit and advent from Ian Spear in episode 31.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: You might want to take that a listen to that if you're new to this idea of observing the rhythm of the church calendar.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: Even though my church doesn't formally observe this tradition, I think it's a special way to meditate and focus on what Christ has done for us through his death, burial, and resurrection.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: Some use these 40 days to fast food or other distractions, but I also think it can be a great time to add a new practice or a focused time to develop a new different habit in our lives.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: Well, this year, I actually just finished a 40-day fast and it was amazing.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: One of the books I read during that time had a profound impact on me.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: I knew it was gonna be a good one, and even though I didn't know much about the author yet, I heard the title and it intrigued me.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: Kill the Spider was given to me as a gift over the holidays, but I didn't get a chance to even hardly look at the cover before Spencer, my husband, grabbed it from me and started reading it.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: So during today's conversation, we do share a lot about the book, but not as much about Carlos himself.
2:30
SPEAKER_02: So in case you haven't met him yet, you may have come across his very active Instagram account, and you'll have to check it out.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: He's also has a viral YouTube video called Single Ladies Devastation.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: It is hilarious.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: He also happens to be a People's Choice Award winner, a former recording artist with a major label, and he is currently a speaker and author.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: Carlos finds it easiest to describe himself as a moment maker, spider killer, and hope dealer.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: Mostly, I found Carlos to be incredibly genuine and authentic, not only in his writing, but also in our conversation.
3:11
SPEAKER_02: There is so much I want to say about the book, but take a listen to our conversation, and I know you'll want to read it for yourself.
3:18
SPEAKER_02: And also, we have an extra person in the studio for this conversation.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: I want to give a shout out to Paula Hayes, our fabulous branding specialist and a team member of the Simply Wholehearted Collective.
3:29
SPEAKER_02: You'll be hearing more about her and seeing more of her work in the future.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: But she happened to be the one to reach out to Carlos and his wife Heather about joining us on the podcast.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: We are so glad she did, and for the message we get to partner in sharing.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: Didn't you serve us?
3:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, first of all, I loved your book.
3:50
SPEAKER_02: I really like I I am not just saying that.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I know I read a lot of books and I say that to a lot of people, but um it it's like it's impacting a lot of people.
4:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:03
SPEAKER_04: So much no.
4:04
SPEAKER_04: I I I appreciate that.
4:05
SPEAKER_04: You know, you never know as an author when you release a book to the world how it's gonna, you know, um be taken.
4:10
SPEAKER_04: And man, this one is is really blown me away with with the response.
4:14
SPEAKER_04: So I appreciate that.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:16
SPEAKER_02: I uh so much of it.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: I mean, when you went and to the on-site process, I mean, did you kind of go into that thinking I'm gonna journal this, I might share this with the world, or yeah, no, no, I I I really didn't at all.
4:31
SPEAKER_04: Like I I I went there obviously just looking for healing myself.
4:34
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
4:35
SPEAKER_04: Um and uh um gosh, it I don't think until even I was sitting with my friend Donald Miller at dinner about a week after I I'd gone, and I just told him the whole story.
4:46
SPEAKER_04: I I said, um, and even at that point, like I I knew it was a great story, but I didn't think it was gonna be anything else besides my story of healing.
4:53
SPEAKER_04: And I was telling him the whole thing.
4:55
SPEAKER_04: I mean, really, I've I've I I we spent four hours talking, and it was just me talking the whole time.
5:00
SPEAKER_04: And he just looked at me after that, he said, This this needs to be, this is it.
5:05
SPEAKER_04: This this is you this needs to be the book.
5:07
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, really?
5:08
SPEAKER_04: Um, and he's like, Yeah, this is it, this is it.
5:10
SPEAKER_04: And so, really, from that conversation, I was like, Okay, well, let me see if this, if I could write a book that doesn't feel like therapy, um, but yet tells the story and yet brings people healing, and where it's not all about the pro, you know, so like I put started putting the pieces together and here we are.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
5:27
SPEAKER_02: Well, I had heard about you, I think, on Annie Um Downs podcast.
5:32
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
5:32
SPEAKER_02: And the I had seen the title pop up, you know, like on my Amazon, you know, search and all that.
5:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, that looks interesting.
5:38
SPEAKER_02: I heard the story, I was like, okay, gotta get the book.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: And I got it for my birthday, but my husband stole it from me.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: Like that day.
5:44
SPEAKER_02: Like I I looked at it, opened it, looked at it, and he like had it in his hand, and I didn't see it for a week.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: And and this is no slam to him, but he rarely finishes a book.
5:53
SPEAKER_02: It just sure.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but he read the whole thing and he's like, Wow, that was so good.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: I I want to meet the guy for coffee.
6:00
SPEAKER_02: He seems so down to earth.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: This is incredibly relatable, you know.
6:04
SPEAKER_02: So you did an excellent job um to get him to read it.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: And then we passed it around.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Yes, we're gonna get to share it on the podcast.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: So many people it's awesome.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: Now, you gotta give a little backstory because Killing the Spider, like that's a genius title.
6:20
SPEAKER_02: And I'm really into titling, it's how I think I got to name a friend's book, you know.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: So give a little story of how you came up with that one.
6:28
SPEAKER_04: You know, I was actually on my way to on site to the seven days of therapy.
6:32
SPEAKER_04: Um, and I called my dad.
6:34
SPEAKER_04: And my dad, um, you know, like my dad, he's just a sage, he's a wise man, and he has um really you know, we we talk all the time.
6:43
SPEAKER_04: And so I knew I wasn't gonna be able to talk to him for a week.
6:45
SPEAKER_04: So I called him and I said, Hey dad, I'm going to this, I didn't want to call it therapy.
6:49
SPEAKER_04: See, I don't want to freak him out.
6:50
SPEAKER_04: So I was like, I'm going to like a retreat for seven days.
6:52
SPEAKER_04: And he's like, he's like, Why are you why are you going on this retreat?
6:57
SPEAKER_04: And I said, you know, I actually told him what my therapist told me.
6:59
SPEAKER_04: I said, Dad, my therapist tells me that I rub crap on my blessings.
7:03
SPEAKER_04: Like that, that's what I keep doing over and over again.
7:05
SPEAKER_04: And he was like, you know, God loss, let me tell you why you rub crap on your blessings.
7:09
SPEAKER_04: And he he goes into this story, and you know, I um um I I didn't have much time.
7:16
SPEAKER_04: I was 15 minutes away.
7:18
SPEAKER_04: My dad, he never he can never tell a story in under an hour.
7:21
SPEAKER_04: I was like, I was like, Dad, you know, can you make a fast?
7:24
SPEAKER_04: And so, like the the cliff notes is he said, you know, uh he was preaching a revival in Panama, his very first revival when he was like 19 or 20.
7:32
SPEAKER_04: And he said, the first night of the revival, a woman comes forward and she um she asks him to please pray that the Lord would clean the cobwebs for her life.
7:40
SPEAKER_04: And then um my dad said, Oh, that was that's kind of poetic.
7:43
SPEAKER_04: So he he didn't know really what that meant, but he prayed that.
7:46
SPEAKER_04: He goes, then the next night of the revival, she comes forward again and she asks, you know, can you please um pray again that the Lord cleans the cobwebs for my life?
7:54
SPEAKER_04: And so he said, Well, I prayed that last night.
7:56
SPEAKER_04: And she said, No, no, no, no, no, you know, pray again.
7:58
SPEAKER_04: So he prayed again, and then he said, God, listen, the last night of the revival, Miss Ramidas comes forward again, and I know she was gonna tell me that he's done it, he's cleaned the cobwebs for my life, but instead she looks at me again and she said, Can you can you pray one more time that the Lord would clean the cobwebs for my life?
8:13
SPEAKER_04: And my dad said he um he looked at her and he said, No, he said, We've been praying the wrong prayer.
8:19
SPEAKER_04: Tonight we pray he kills the spider.
8:21
SPEAKER_04: And and he said, You know, Carlos, I've been watching you your entire life.
8:24
SPEAKER_04: You're a cobweb cleaning professional.
8:27
SPEAKER_04: You know, you know how to do it, how to make things look shiny.
8:30
SPEAKER_04: He said, But the cobwebs are gonna keep coming back until you kill the spider.
8:33
SPEAKER_04: So you can't go there and just clean the cobwebs.
8:36
SPEAKER_04: You have to find the spider and kill it.
8:37
SPEAKER_04: And you know, for me, I didn't um I didn't necessarily have a definition around what he meant, but I knew what he meant.
8:43
SPEAKER_04: You know, like I I didn't need to have it.
8:45
SPEAKER_04: Now for the book, obviously, like I define a um I define a spider as an agreement you've made with a lie.
8:51
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
8:52
SPEAKER_04: And I and I describe a cobweb with a medicator that brings false comfort to that lie.
8:56
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
8:57
SPEAKER_04: And so so that that puts a little bit of of um of dressing on the um analogy.
9:02
SPEAKER_04: And I I think it the analogy is really strong and it really helps a lot of people.
9:06
SPEAKER_04: And so that that's really where where it came from.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: Well, did you so when you when he said that, I mean, was your initial reaction, oh yeah, dad, you're right on, or were you just kind of like, oh, that that's a nice story.
9:16
SPEAKER_02: What is this?
9:18
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, oh no, no, no.
9:20
SPEAKER_04: I I had never heard my my life more perfectly described than in that moment.
9:25
SPEAKER_04: That's when he said that, I was like, Oh, like it just started hitting me.
9:28
SPEAKER_04: That's what I do.
9:28
SPEAKER_04: I clean that's what we do, that's what the evangelical church does.
9:32
SPEAKER_04: We just want to clean people's cobwebs and help them with their medicating behaviors, and that's not ever gonna create lasting change.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so that's that was a profound way to frame your step into there to have that conversation right before.
9:45
SPEAKER_04: Oh man, it was like like if you know, so really for me, like that's what I was doing.
9:49
SPEAKER_04: I was, I was, I was searching for the cobwebs, and you know, when when I stepped in there every single day um in the morning during large group, we would go after um really medicating behaviors.
10:00
SPEAKER_04: And so kind of in our large group time, it was all about codependency and addiction and um all of the things that really people went there to try to fix.
10:08
SPEAKER_04: Um and then in our small group times is where we would really dive into really the lies that we believe, you know.
10:14
SPEAKER_04: And it's funny, um, on-site isn't a isn't a Christian place, so it's not like a Christian therapy center.
10:19
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, um, so my my my therapist isn't even a Christian, but she was still directing me towards a lie and all of us towards a lie that we believed.
10:27
SPEAKER_04: And yeah, so that's why this message is really, I think, ringing true for so many people, because everybody can identify.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, I I think that was an amazing thing as I read it, just kind of their therapy procedure and some of their just even especially where your final breakthrough happened.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, wow, how could someone who's not a believer in truth get there?
10:46
SPEAKER_02: And yet they did, and yet the Lord uses that.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: But then that's also I think why your message is so relatable.
10:53
SPEAKER_02: You don't throw around a lot of Christianese.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: And that wasn't part of the process, wasn't the Christianese.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: It kind of strips some of that away.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: But I think, you know, prevents people from going there in order to get to the root of the issue.
11:07
SPEAKER_03: And sometimes I think the Christianese is what blocks people from getting to it because you're just trying to clean up the behaviors to look good on the outside.
11:14
SPEAKER_03: So you're never following the little trail of breadcrumbs that's leading you to or the spider web or whatever you want to call it, you know, to get to that thing.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, that's really good.
11:24
SPEAKER_04: But it's we can we can, gosh, you know, in the church these days, we we can really dress up cobwebs and um and and really spend uh the it's what we do five steps to a better marriage, four steps to budgeting for your money better, three steps to stop your addicting behavior, you know, all of those things are great to fix, but all of those things are cobwebs.
11:44
SPEAKER_04: I tell people all the time that when you walk down the self-help aisle in Barnes and Noble, that's the cobweb aisle.
11:48
SPEAKER_04: Like that's what all those are.
11:51
SPEAKER_04: And and unless you get to the root, to the lie you made an agreement to, you're never gonna change.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Did you find that you were a rare case that you came out of there getting to the root of the issue?
12:03
SPEAKER_02: Or or did or are you finding that people are willing to do that?
12:07
SPEAKER_02: Because I know a lot of people are willing to clean the cobwebs, but I feel like there's very few who are willing to kill the spider.
12:14
SPEAKER_04: I mean, do you see that?
12:17
SPEAKER_04: I think if you this is what I especially at a place like like Seven Days of Therapy Donse, if you sign up for that and you show up there, you're you're you're kind of done with your cobwebs.
12:26
SPEAKER_04: Like you're kind of done like trying to fix these behaviors.
12:29
SPEAKER_04: You know, I think everybody that was there was really trying to um to get to the center of it all.
12:34
SPEAKER_04: Um and and um, you know, it's called the living centered program.
12:38
SPEAKER_04: Um, and so that's really what you know, they're they're trying to get you to the center of who you are.
12:43
SPEAKER_04: You know, I mean, I I I laugh and I um I because I email Barb, my therapist now all the time, so who's still not a believer, but I'm like, you know, God used you to help me find I with the enemy that I made an agreement to, and she just laughs and she's like, Well, you can call it what you want.
12:57
SPEAKER_04: And you know, it's funny because I'm actually getting a lot of um speaking inquiries from from um businesses in the corporate world, uh, and they're they're happy to come and to talk to their sales reps and to their, you know, to to the corporate side of things because even non-Christian corporate people, at the end of the day, their behaviors are based on a lie they believe.
13:18
SPEAKER_04: And so it works anywhere, you know.
13:22
SPEAKER_04: Um it really works across across the space.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it it does.
13:26
SPEAKER_02: Do you think that there is something though for the person reading your book, they were willing to pick it up, they were willing to read it.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: Do you think there has to be, and I I'm not like getting to an answer, but do you think there is a point or what separates the people who are willing to go after it a little bit deeper and to actually take your words and follow some of the steps?
13:47
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know, um I what I'm finding as people are reading the book is is people that are picking it up to um to give to a friend.
13:57
SPEAKER_04: So like, oh, I bought this book for my friend, but I decided to read it, and then they read it for hours, and then they're like, oh my gosh, I thought I was buying this for somebody else, but I actually didn't even realize all the cobwebs and spiders in my own life.
14:10
SPEAKER_04: And I think, I think I I I just think people need to hear the story, hear need, hear the analogy, and everybody, whether whether you have massive spiders, because some people do have these lies from traumatic moments in childhood that's gonna take a lot of excavating and therapy offices and things like that.
14:27
SPEAKER_04: But then some people just have, you know, just maybe this morning they had a bad conversation with their boss, and suddenly they believe the lie that their worth is based on what their boss told them.
14:37
SPEAKER_04: Well, their behavior is suddenly going to be dictated by that lie they believe for that day.
14:42
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, it's not just these massive, hairy, ugly spiders.
14:45
SPEAKER_04: It can be small everyday things.
14:47
SPEAKER_04: And so I honestly do believe that anybody that reads the book or anybody that um um that that is in any way, shape, or form in touch with with both sides of their brain, you know, their their head, their hands, and their heart is is gonna be able to knock these things out.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, just the whole way that you frame that because then it's just saying that we all have the power to be an exterminator and go to that.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: Now you also talk about how and I think I think I asked this in a way of like to open people's ideas of what we do to kind of rub crap on our blessings.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: Would you explain that a little bit?
15:23
SPEAKER_02: Because I think that goes two different ways.
15:25
SPEAKER_02: I know how I do that.
15:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think there's a litany of it.
15:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I think it would be kind of a good thing to go, okay.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: Well, maybe I need to see this as like, oh, that's what I'm doing.
15:39
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, you know, we're all, you know, everybody is um um if you struggle, you know, if you're in a season where you are quote unquote rubbing crap on your blessings, you know, what I had to do is just kind of look back at every every great thing that has happened to me that the Lord's given me that um just just just amazing things.
15:58
SPEAKER_04: Um and and I need to see how I've how I've how I've treated those things.
16:02
SPEAKER_04: You know, um it doesn't necessarily mean like you're completely ruining every blessing that that's coming your way, you know.
16:08
SPEAKER_04: It could be as drag as drastic as that, right?
16:11
SPEAKER_04: Like you have an incredible marriage, but you go have an affair.
16:14
SPEAKER_04: Okay, that's that's a massive way of doing it, but it doesn't even have to be that.
16:17
SPEAKER_04: It's sometimes rubbing crap on your blessings, I think, is even like not giving um enough respect to the blessing that that you've been given.
16:27
SPEAKER_04: Not not taking care of it as well as you should, you know.
16:30
SPEAKER_04: Um I I think I think again there there's a there's a scale, you know, when it comes to that.
16:36
SPEAKER_04: Now, now when it comes to uh cobwebs and medicating behaviors, you know, that that that's where I think 10 out of 10 people are going to be able to say, I have medicating behaviors that um that medicate a lie that I believe about myself.
16:52
SPEAKER_04: And again, medicating behaviors can be anything, even even desires, like great things can turn into cobwebs, right?
17:01
SPEAKER_04: So, like even things, you know, things you know, like um working out, like that that that should be a great thing.
17:07
SPEAKER_04: But some people take that to suddenly medicate the belief that their identity is based on what their body looks like.
17:12
SPEAKER_04: So at that point, exercise becomes a medicating behavior and a cobweb.
17:17
SPEAKER_04: So we you have to look at the whole gamut of things, even things that you wouldn't even expect to be a cobweb can end up being cobwebs.
17:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or even um I think it's not being able to enjoy the blessing.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Um that's just another way because uh you know, just to kind of be honest and open, I know one of my spiders is the core is like I doubt the goodness of God.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: So if good things happen, I'm gonna match it with like, well, this is good, but what bad things gonna happen to negate the blessing?
17:45
SPEAKER_02: Or God's just gonna trick me, or you know, he can't really, you know, and that I mean it just goes back to the apple, you know, where Satan, you know, tricked Eve to doubt the goodness of God.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: That's true.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like it goes both ways, not just like treating it bad and disrespecting it, and I am in a way, but just that like, oh well, shoot, God can't really be that good.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, yeah.
18:06
SPEAKER_06: Yep, absolutely.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: And then we do all sorts of stupid things after that too, you know, cheaper than it.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: And then spiral into fear and inside.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: We just talked to Allie Worthington of, you know, and that just is like one of the things that we deal with, and you know, so many of us, and then getting to the root of that is is really, really huge.
18:23
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so this is a a little that so serious question, but yeah, so my husband is an arborist, and so at the beginning of one of your chapters, this is before you know what your fellow campers um retreat.
18:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you think he's either an arborist or a librarian.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so Spencer read that and he's like, What do those have to do with one another?
18:48
SPEAKER_02: So we gotta know.
18:52
SPEAKER_02: So you could just like, are they hippie-ish?
18:55
SPEAKER_02: Are they like, so we gotta know.
18:57
SPEAKER_04: That's so good.
18:58
SPEAKER_04: That what a great question.
19:00
SPEAKER_04: Um sorry, we had to ask.
19:02
SPEAKER_04: No, I I I I don't know why I love those together, but I do know that I've only met one arborist in my life.
19:07
SPEAKER_01: Oh, there you go.
19:08
SPEAKER_04: Um and he he was at he was at Starbucks, he was a you know, gentle old soul, he was probably 70 years old, long white, flowy beard.
19:15
SPEAKER_04: And I I just we were talking, I didn't even know who he was, um, just having random stranger conversation.
19:20
SPEAKER_04: I said, What do you do?
19:21
SPEAKER_04: He said, Oh, I'm an arborist.
19:22
SPEAKER_04: And like there was just something so like profound in his eyes that he he knows stuff that no other human knows, right?
19:30
SPEAKER_04: He knows stuff, he cares about stuff that nobody else cares about.
19:33
SPEAKER_04: Like there was just this thing inside of me when I saw him and he told me he was an arborist.
19:37
SPEAKER_04: I was like, Oh, I get it.
19:39
SPEAKER_04: Yes, like you are an arborist.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: Of course you are.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and they do, they see it like I have never looked at a tree or neighborhood the way my husband, I mean, I didn't even know an arborist existed until I met him.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: I was like, you go to school for that?
19:55
SPEAKER_02: Like you study trees, and but you're not a tree yoker.
20:01
SPEAKER_02: He speaks for the trees.
20:02
SPEAKER_02: Yes, exactly.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: So, but Spencer wanted to know what did the guy actually do?
20:07
SPEAKER_02: Do you remember what his profession actually was?
20:10
SPEAKER_04: Um the oh in the book.
20:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you thought he was, but then like, you know, you didn't find out what it was.
20:17
SPEAKER_04: He was a he was a pharmacist.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh, are you kidding?
20:20
SPEAKER_03: My husband, my husband is a pharmacist, yeah.
20:22
SPEAKER_03: Actually, he's a pharmacist.
20:24
SPEAKER_04: He was a he was a pharmacist.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: And I could say, yeah.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: That's so funny.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, you know, it's just one of those like dying to know what did that thing.
20:35
SPEAKER_06: I love it.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
20:36
SPEAKER_02: All right, so now I want to go back to a little bit of a serious question.
20:39
SPEAKER_02: And this is actually, I have to credit this to Paula because Paula was the one um who just I was like, that of course.
20:45
SPEAKER_02: Like, this is a brilliant thought.
20:47
SPEAKER_02: And we want to talk about your wife for a little bit because she's yeah amazing.
20:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like I know she avoids social media, she avoids you know, the stage, the platform, all that sort of thing, but maybe that is in the future because she has her own story to tell.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, could you speak to that a little bit?
21:04
SPEAKER_02: Like what because she stood by you and she also let um, I mean you just share your your journey and your marriage, she let something die.
21:15
SPEAKER_02: And yet she let her heart stay open to the possibility of a rebirth and a new life.
21:22
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: I I I wanted you to be able to praise your wife for a little bit, but also just tell us how how would we, like, how do we stay in that position when we might be faced with that sort of thing.
21:35
SPEAKER_04: You know, you know, I she um my wife is a she's a prophetess, she is a maven.
21:41
SPEAKER_04: She is, she is, you know.
21:43
SPEAKER_04: I walk into my home.
21:45
SPEAKER_04: Um, you you talk about how she doesn't have a platform, she doesn't.
21:48
SPEAKER_04: She's private on everything.
21:49
SPEAKER_04: She used to blog like seven, eight years ago, and then she just she was like, No, I don't like all these people knowing who I am.
21:55
SPEAKER_04: So she's super private.
21:57
SPEAKER_04: Um, yet yet she has such massive.
22:00
SPEAKER_04: Influence over some of the most um biblically sound, godly, large platform women in this country.
22:08
SPEAKER_04: I'll I'll walk into my home uh multiple times a week and I'll see some women that are famous, like that, that are that my wife is praying over, is is is is is helping with inner healing, is they they flock to her because she has she is in tune with the Holy Spirit in a way that um I man, I I I've never I've never come across anybody like her.
22:34
SPEAKER_04: And so when it came time for now, I won't I won't say that when all of the kind of trauma happened in our marriage, that she was there, but where she was is at a space of of still having some sort of conversational intimacy with Jesus, still being able to hear from him.
22:51
SPEAKER_04: And she she said that Carlos, she's like, nine out of ten of my friends, godly friends, who love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind, nine out of ten of them told me, leave them.
23:01
SPEAKER_04: Like it's over, like, like go.
23:03
SPEAKER_04: Um, and she she she said, I was like, that's what I wanted to do.
23:08
SPEAKER_04: But when I went to scripture and I went to um to the gospels and I looked at what Jesus did, I he was just so clear saying, no.
23:17
SPEAKER_04: Like, like if you believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ, then you have to believe that your husband can also be transformed by that same gospel.
23:26
SPEAKER_04: Right.
23:26
SPEAKER_04: Powerful.
23:27
SPEAKER_04: And and she just said, I I couldn't, she said, I couldn't, um, I couldn't leave you.
23:32
SPEAKER_04: And um not to say that there's not moments, I don't want anyone listening to this to say that that there's not moments where where you should leave.
23:41
SPEAKER_04: And you know, that there's not going to be situations where you know it it is going to be the right thing for you to do.
23:47
SPEAKER_04: But I'm telling you what, if it was not for my wife staying, the amount of not only to heal my marriage and my family, my kids, but the amount of people that that are being are able to find healing because of my wife and I's story together and because of just you know who she is.
24:04
SPEAKER_04: Again, we're we're we're beginning to dream up these things um that we're gonna be put rolling out later this year where we're doing kind of these boutique gathering events with me and her, and we're gonna teach together.
24:15
SPEAKER_04: And we're we're gonna help people enter into rest, enter into healing, enter into wild, all of these things.
24:22
SPEAKER_04: And again, none of that would have happened had had she bounced.
24:25
SPEAKER_04: And so um she sign me out.
24:28
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know, she is just uh I am the miracle, and um and and she is I mean, I I could I could spend hours and hours and hours talking about how how much I learn from her when it comes to um what it what it looks like to really hear from God.
24:45
SPEAKER_04: Um, and and she does it every day and she pushes me towards it every day.
24:49
SPEAKER_04: And she finally pushed me to the point where I am now finally leading my family spiritually, but it's because she's the one that laid the groundwork for that for so many years and led us spiritually for for so many years and prayed that I would become the leader that I become.
25:02
SPEAKER_04: It took, I mean, we've been married 18 years, it took uh 16 years for it to finally happen, you know?
25:09
SPEAKER_04: And so um, yeah.
25:11
SPEAKER_03: Wow, so incredible.
25:13
SPEAKER_03: You're speaking so much hope right now.
25:15
SPEAKER_03: I know I'm I'm taking some hope from this.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: Um just I don't know who wouldn't, but so there comes the point in you wrote in the book where she did write you a letter and she said she was aware that this was her last love letter to you.
25:27
SPEAKER_03: So when when that happened, was she still kind of off to the side, sort of hopeful?
25:33
SPEAKER_03: Like, what was her position?
25:34
SPEAKER_03: Because she you say she didn't leave.
25:36
SPEAKER_03: Did she just choose to give you space?
25:38
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
25:40
SPEAKER_04: I I I got kicked out of the house.
25:42
SPEAKER_04: Like I was no longer at home.
25:45
SPEAKER_04: I was living with Blake Bergstrom, my best friend and his family for months.
25:49
SPEAKER_04: Heather did not talk to me.
25:51
SPEAKER_04: I did not say, we did not speak to each other for I'd say nine weeks.
25:57
SPEAKER_04: Um, there was always someone, I mean, she was wounded.
26:01
SPEAKER_04: There was trauma, there was pain, there was all these things.
26:05
SPEAKER_04: But but the night that it all went down, when that she'll tell me all the time, you know, and I read the letter, and the letter was this final letter.
26:13
SPEAKER_04: I mean, our marriage was over.
26:14
SPEAKER_04: She's like, you know what?
26:16
SPEAKER_04: But but it was filled with such grace and such love.
26:20
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
26:21
SPEAKER_04: Like, Carlos, even in the midst of my pain that you had wounded me so much, I still felt like God was telling me to write you a letter about everything I loved about you.
26:29
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
26:30
SPEAKER_04: And so, you know, even when I read that, like, even though at that point I thought, you know, we're getting a divorce, um, the marriage is over.
26:37
SPEAKER_04: I still had hope that we were gonna be able to have a great relationship together.
26:41
SPEAKER_04: Like, there was still hope for that.
26:44
SPEAKER_04: And, you know, and I can't say, you know, that most of my friends who've gone through divorce or their marriage has fallen apart, that that has been the tone in the relationship.
26:51
SPEAKER_04: So, you know, she, I mean, she said, listen, I will never say a bad word about you in front of the kids.
26:55
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, um, I will never all of these things could I could just tell that that my wife was um, she was she had prepared for the battle long before the battle was there.
27:05
SPEAKER_04: And so because she did the work, um, when it came time for the battle, uh, she was ready, and that's what came out of her.
27:11
SPEAKER_04: And so for anyone listening to this, um, you if you're not in crisis right now, now is the time that you need to you need to be preparing for the crisis because you want to prepare for the crisis when the crisis is happening.
27:25
SPEAKER_04: And she'd spent years of her life just in this conversational intimacy with Jesus and and and laying the groundwork for something she didn't even know she was gonna have to go through.
27:35
SPEAKER_04: And I think that's why she was able to um respond with such love.
27:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, that's incredible.
27:40
SPEAKER_02: And and if you don't mind, and you don't obviously we're not naming names or anything like that, but how did that work with the dynamic of friendships, supporting you, walking?
27:48
SPEAKER_02: Because we've all been there.
27:48
SPEAKER_02: We're either walking through a messy marriage, we're either preparing for stuff that might happen, but then we're also, I mean, a lot of us have it either fallen apart and we're involved in some way or another.
27:58
SPEAKER_02: What does that look like?
27:59
SPEAKER_02: And you know, and just based on your experience with friendships walking you through it.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that one out of nine or one out of ten that told her to stay.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Right.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:10
SPEAKER_04: It's funny because I mean they've all every single one of them have all come back like with their jaws hanging open, like, oh my, I cannot believe this thing worked.
28:21
SPEAKER_04: I cannot believe that you know happened.
28:23
SPEAKER_04: And so, you know, I would say that um what we've learned, um, I mean, we're we're walking through it right now with with a couple of friends of ours, and um we we have ended up I I've just taken Heather's stance on nothing's nothing is impossible, you know.
28:40
SPEAKER_04: Uh just absolutely nothing is impossible.
28:42
SPEAKER_04: So, you know, when we look at friends, we we've we've got a friend of ours, um, a couple of friends who've been divorced, who've gotten divorced, and everybody 100% everyone has been wounded by by the guy.
28:53
SPEAKER_04: I mean, everyone.
28:54
SPEAKER_04: I mean, everyone, not only his family, but his friends, like he just has, but after writing a book like I've written, how in the world can I look at him and not think, oh my gosh, but his problem is that he hasn't identified the lie that he's made an agreement to.
29:10
SPEAKER_04: How can I help him do that?
29:12
SPEAKER_04: You know, like how can I not help him do that?
29:14
SPEAKER_04: And so we're like the we're we're the one out of ten with him that are that are sticking by him, you know, and he's not even ready yet to confront the lie.
29:22
SPEAKER_04: But we know that that God has put us there in order to help him, you know, and so so I'd say with anybody that that's um you know going through this with a friend, understand that both sides, okay, even the the the victim and the one who who placed the trauma in the victim's life.
29:39
SPEAKER_04: Um that that bully or the the one that that is is placing trauma in other people's lives, they are just bound by these agreements and these lies.
29:52
SPEAKER_04: And you know, even my kids, my kids came home, uh it's it's just so beautiful to watch.
29:56
SPEAKER_04: You know, my daughter came home and she's like, this girl was so mean to me at school, and she told I like this boy, and she she knew it, and she walked up to me and she said, Hey, I want to let you know that's never gonna happen.
30:06
SPEAKER_04: Like straight to her face, you know.
30:08
SPEAKER_04: And she and she goes, Dad, I I just know that that blank just believes a lie about you, is bound by a lie, and I know that's why she's that way.
30:17
SPEAKER_04: So suddenly it just it changes everything, yeah, it changes absolutely everything.
30:21
SPEAKER_04: So if you're walking with somebody, you know, um make sure that you're not um you're you're not loving and focusing on the lie, but you're loving and focusing on what's really true.
30:33
SPEAKER_04: And so instead of loving the lie, love the truth.
30:36
SPEAKER_04: And when you start loving the truth, even if the person doesn't believe that truth yet, yeah, the more you can love on that truth in their life, the more their eyes are gonna be open to it.
30:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, because so often very few can you actually point out the spider and be like, hey, this is the lie.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: Right.
30:50
SPEAKER_04: You gotta leave it in with the spider, you this the spider they're gonna have to get to.
30:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: That's really really good.
30:58
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: Well, I I mean I think that's just really powerful.
31:00
SPEAKER_02: And I'm excited to hear that you guys are gonna be uh doing something together.
31:04
SPEAKER_02: I that is I mean, that's huge.
31:06
SPEAKER_02: That's powerful.
31:06
SPEAKER_02: You can think of so many of that.
31:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's really good.
31:10
SPEAKER_02: Well, um, talking about your kids, um, I'm just wondering if they've used this whole spider analogy against you because once my kids have been like, hey, that's a spider.
31:24
SPEAKER_04: Every day.
31:25
SPEAKER_04: Uh every it's it's become, you know, it's become it's become modern language in our in our home.
31:29
SPEAKER_04: I mean, it really is.
31:30
SPEAKER_04: Like, you know, I I tell this story of um a couple months ago, um, Heather and I were on a date.
31:35
SPEAKER_04: We left the kids at home.
31:37
SPEAKER_04: You know, they're 14, 13, and 10 now.
31:38
SPEAKER_04: You know, they're all enough to stay at home.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: Um, but our 10-year-old was coming with freedom, babysitter and all that kind of stuff and actually pay to go out to eat.
31:48
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and our um our our our 10-year-old had was throwing a fit about something.
31:53
SPEAKER_04: Like, you know, and and it went it went from like zero to hero in two seconds flat.
31:58
SPEAKER_04: And and the the girls were like, you know, he was like, nobody he was in this room screaming like, nobody loves me, you know, because they were, you know, trying, you know, just and and so the girls called us and said, Hey, Losia's, you know, kind of flipped the lid and you guys need to come home.
32:12
SPEAKER_04: So we're like, oh, okay, so we're gonna go home and kind of deal with his emotions.
32:15
SPEAKER_04: And um, and we walked in the house and they were all sitting on the sofa, um, like playing PlayStation together or something.
32:22
SPEAKER_04: And we were like, hey, like we were expecting to come in and see, you know, some dramatic moment.
32:26
SPEAKER_04: And um we said, what's going on?
32:28
SPEAKER_04: Losia.
32:29
SPEAKER_04: And Losia's like, oh no, no, no, me and So Hela took care of it.
32:32
SPEAKER_04: And I was like, Well, what do you mean you took care of it?
32:34
SPEAKER_04: And Sohela said, Oh, well, Dad, he was in his room screaming, uh, nobody loves me.
32:38
SPEAKER_04: Um, you know, nobody cares about me.
32:40
SPEAKER_04: And I just I forced my way in his room and I looked at him in the eyes and I told him, Losia, that's a lie.
32:45
SPEAKER_04: That's actually not true.
32:46
SPEAKER_04: And you're making you're making agreements with a lie.
32:49
SPEAKER_04: So right now, Losia, would you mind if we prayed and broke those agreements?
32:53
SPEAKER_04: Right now.
32:54
SPEAKER_04: Um and so me and Heather, we're like, our mouths are open, and we're trying to not freak out.
33:01
SPEAKER_04: So so Losia prayed, and as soon as we prayed, um, it lifted off of him and he was fine, and we went back out.
33:07
SPEAKER_04: So me and Heather walked into our bedroom and we shut the door and we started freaking out like, oh my gosh! Like, what how does a 14-year-old know to do this?
33:15
SPEAKER_04: You know, that's awesome.
33:18
SPEAKER_04: Common language in our home, and it's fun to watch our kids really step into it.
33:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I think that's so good because it does, it has now like the book has ruined me.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's framing everything that I think through when I talk.
33:29
SPEAKER_02: I mean, because I'm one of the like women's pastors, and so you know, just all the conversations.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, let's just like these are Medicators, and then where's the spider and what is it, and all that sort of stuff.
33:39
SPEAKER_02: But then even with my own kids, which is awesome.
33:41
SPEAKER_02: And I mine are just a little bit behind you, um, just a few years, but the same kind of birth order, same sort of situation.
33:48
SPEAKER_02: And I'm I think I'm gonna make them read that book.
33:51
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
33:52
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I definitely uh I'm actually working right now with a with a um nonprofit on developing a student curriculum for it.
33:58
SPEAKER_04: Like for the awesome for for students.
34:02
SPEAKER_04: So I I think because I because I think again, if they can grab a hold of this idea when they're the phase, then you know, it could change everything.
34:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, especially just the the high rate of teen suicide, yeah, and the depression and all the things that I mean because you talked about social media in the book and just how the connection there, I mean, and all the more I mean we deal with it, you know, in the f in our 40s, but um the our kids' generation, it's you know, yeah, it's just a a lot tougher.
34:25
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
34:26
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
34:26
SPEAKER_02: Man, tons of stuff.
34:27
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that was gonna be one of my questions.
34:29
SPEAKER_02: What are the some of the things coming up?
34:32
SPEAKER_02: This is exciting.
34:33
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm so excited to see what's gonna happen.
34:35
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, I there there's there's definitely a a groundswell behind the book that I think is there's gonna be so much more that comes out of it.
34:42
SPEAKER_04: Um, and you know, and I I think you know, Heather and I praying about some things that we're gonna be doing and some other people kind of leaning in saying, Would you like to do curriculum or Bible studies or different things?
34:51
SPEAKER_04: I I I think that um I'm excited about the future of it.
34:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's great.
34:55
SPEAKER_02: Well, at the end of um each chapter, you wrote kind of a question, some prompts to think through what you just not just to read through it, but to you know, to ask yourself these questions.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: And um and so I I did write those down and kind of um did that.
35:09
SPEAKER_02: And so I think people as they're hearing this and before they get their hands on your book um and read it for themselves, what are just some of the, I don't know, maybe the first few steps that you would you would share of like, hey, now you've got this idea, you know, now you are ready to be an exterminator yourself.
35:26
SPEAKER_02: What are just some of the next few steps that you would encourage them to take?
35:30
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you know, I I tell people all the time, um, everybody, when I start talking about cobwebs, it's pretty easy for people to figure out what those are in their life.
35:37
SPEAKER_04: And I tell people if they're if they can't figure those out, just ask your family and they'll tell you.
35:41
SPEAKER_04: Like it's it's it's really visible what what your what your medicating behaviors are, what your cobwebs are.
35:47
SPEAKER_04: But when it comes to the lie, right, when it comes to what is this agreement I've made with a lie, that is going to take um, you know, I that's that's really just gonna take a lot of discipline when it comes to to beginning to listen to God.
36:03
SPEAKER_04: Because God's gonna tell you what it is.
36:06
SPEAKER_04: Like He will 100% reveal it to you.
36:09
SPEAKER_04: But for so many people, they've never been in a space in their relationship with God where they've actually heard from Him or they understand what that looks like, you know, to hear from Him.
36:17
SPEAKER_04: And I tell people He's speaking to us all the time.
36:19
SPEAKER_04: So one of the first things I tell people when it comes to trying to hear from God on what your spider is is to lower the volume of life.
36:25
SPEAKER_04: You gotta, when you lower the volume of life, the volume of God goes up.
36:28
SPEAKER_04: The reason most people can't hear from God when they're praying is I I tell them just to look at their daily schedule, like look at your calendar, and that's gonna tell you why you're not able to hear, because we are moving at such a rapid pace in society now that uh that God has been speaking the whole time, but we can't hear him because we're our the volume of our life is turned up so loud.
36:48
SPEAKER_04: So I say step one is to slow down.
36:50
SPEAKER_04: Um, step two is to be specific in asking this question, journaling.
36:54
SPEAKER_04: So ask every single day as you're reading scripture.
36:57
SPEAKER_04: You know, the one of the easiest ways to start hearing from God is is do a daily prayer and have a daily prayer in the back of the book.
37:03
SPEAKER_04: Um do that daily prayer every single day.
37:06
SPEAKER_04: At the end of the prayer, ask God, just quite simply, God, what would you have me read today?
37:10
SPEAKER_04: Is there something in scripture that you would have me go to?
37:13
SPEAKER_04: Sometimes you're gonna have no idea and it's not even gonna make sense.
37:17
SPEAKER_04: But I'm I promise you, if you start asking those specific questions, you're gonna your mind's gonna begin to become blown at to the very specific answers in scripture that he's giving you.
37:27
SPEAKER_04: So you have to ask specific uh questions as well.
37:30
SPEAKER_04: And then I'd say lastly, um, you know, uh don't be scared to get some help.
37:37
SPEAKER_04: Don't be scared to go to a therapist.
37:39
SPEAKER_04: Don't be scared to step into a place of of being, you know, of getting uncomfortable allowing somebody into your mess.
37:47
SPEAKER_04: And um a lot of times we're we're so close to the tree that we can't see it, um, you know, or to the forest.
37:52
SPEAKER_04: We're in the forest and we can't see it.
37:54
SPEAKER_04: You you step out and you zoom out with a drone and now you see what it looks like.
37:57
SPEAKER_04: And a lot of those people uh that are professionals can help do that.
38:00
SPEAKER_04: You know, I still go see my therapist, um Al Andrews here once a month, just for like some maintenance stuff.
38:05
SPEAKER_04: Um and he's he he really has helped me out when it comes to you know finding um and identifying those lies, those spiders.
38:12
SPEAKER_04: So I'd say those three things.
38:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's so good.
38:14
SPEAKER_02: And I think sadly, the generation before us, our parents' generation, that therapy, counseling, all of that sort of has a bad rap or bad connotation.
38:23
SPEAKER_02: I think it's our generation's job to say, you know what, it's just really great.
38:27
SPEAKER_02: Like the best thing we can do for ourselves, everyone needs it.
38:30
SPEAKER_02: You know, this is why we have professionals, you know, this is why people go to school to help us, and it's not a bad thing or a shameful thing because we all could use it.
38:38
SPEAKER_03: It's been so helpful for me.
38:39
SPEAKER_03: In fact, just this last week, it's just because you sit there and you talk about stuff and you're like, I don't know what's going on.
38:44
SPEAKER_03: They're like, Well, here's the thread I'm hearing from those three stories you just told.
38:48
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing this right here, and then they ask you that right question, and you're like, Oh my gosh, like Major Spider was revealed to me this week, and I'm like, Oh crap, I've got to go sit and talk about this now, and I don't want to.
39:00
SPEAKER_03: But I mean, you have to, if you're gonna heal, that's the work.
39:03
SPEAKER_03: So yeah, that's really what that is.
39:05
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: And I love how you just you talked about too, um, and I think it's Jonathan Helser talks about um in his listening player.
39:12
SPEAKER_02: He actually like writes down the prayer and then he just leaves a space open and he doesn't fill it unless there's an answer, and sometimes he goes back to that.
39:21
SPEAKER_02: And I I just think that step too is so huge, is that we we just think so often we get confused in our mind that God has all these other problems and he doesn't want to answer us when he wants to give us something so specifically for us, and he he holds the answer, he holds the key to what it is because he wants freedom more than we want freedom.
39:40
SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's that's the key of it.
39:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, anytime you don't think you're hearing from God, it's not because he's not wanting to tell you.
39:47
SPEAKER_02: Right.
39:48
SPEAKER_04: Right for sure.
39:49
SPEAKER_04: Right.
39:49
SPEAKER_04: So true, so true.
39:51
SPEAKER_02: Uh it's awesome.
39:51
SPEAKER_02: Carlos, thank you so much for your time.
39:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this has been awesome.
39:56
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna obviously continue to follow you and just see what is unfolding for you and Heather and your family, and it's good.
40:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so good.
40:04
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
40:04
SPEAKER_04: Thank you guys so much.
40:05
SPEAKER_04: No, really appreciate it.
40:06
SPEAKER_04: Thanks for having me.
40:07
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
40:07
SPEAKER_04: Have a great rest of the day.
40:08
SPEAKER_02: Right, all right, all right.
40:09
SPEAKER_02: See you later.
40:10
SPEAKER_02: Bye-bye.
40:11
SPEAKER_04: See you guys.
40:14
SPEAKER_02: All right, you ready to suit up in your extermination gear?
40:17
SPEAKER_02: Thankfully, reading the book is a little less cumbersome than that.
40:21
SPEAKER_02: But my prayer is that you will be one of those who raise your hand and say, I'm all in.
40:26
SPEAKER_02: I know I've got some spiders to kill, and it's time to go after them.
40:29
SPEAKER_02: Remember, the spider is an agreement of a lie that you believe, and a cobweb is a medicator that brings false comfort to that lie.
40:37
SPEAKER_02: It's time to stop wasting your efforts on sweeping the spider webs out and to get to the root of the issues that are holding you back from the fullness God has for you.
40:46
SPEAKER_02: Now that you know a little bit more about killing a spider and Carlos Whitaker, be sure and share this episode with your friends and family.
40:54
SPEAKER_02: Just like the Enneagram, once you read the book and experience the freedom you are finding, you'll want others to join you on your journey.
41:01
SPEAKER_02: And Carlos is pretty easy to find out there on the interwebs.
41:05
SPEAKER_02: You see what I did there?
41:07
SPEAKER_02: But in case you want an easy place to find him, just check out our show notes for all the details.
41:12
SPEAKER_02: He's at Los Wit on Instagram and Carlos Whitaker everywhere else.
41:17
SPEAKER_02: You can find out more about his books, tours, and speaking.
41:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited to see what is ahead for them in ministry and as a family.
41:25
SPEAKER_02: Next week, we're gonna share a conversation with Lynn Cal, who is a speaker and writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries.
41:31
SPEAKER_02: She recently released a new study called Make Your Move.
41:35
SPEAKER_02: Ashley is gonna be leading a local study, another 5 a.m.
41:38
SPEAKER_02: one with women who are ready to find their confidence through God's word.
41:42
SPEAKER_02: And Lynn is launching an online group on February 26th to go through her study together.
41:47
SPEAKER_02: We'll have more details on that next week.
41:49
SPEAKER_02: And hey, for Valentine's Week, I have something handy for you moms.
41:55
SPEAKER_02: It's called the Love Language Indicators.
41:58
SPEAKER_02: If you're wanting to discover how to best fill your kids' love tank, this two-page PDF will give you a sypnopsis on how to determine what your kids' love language is and ideas on how to meet their need.
42:10
SPEAKER_02: You can text time, all in caps, T-I-M-E 266866.
42:18
SPEAKER_02: You'll get that resource and a ton of other helpful downloads, including a free online workshop.
42:24
SPEAKER_02: Perfect for you moms out there.
42:25
SPEAKER_02: So, until next week, we hope you'll be joining us as we discover more ways to live a simply wholehearted life.
42:32
SPEAKER_02: Unplugged, purposeful, and intentional.