Latest / ok storytime / My boyfriend wants me to RAISE his three kids… after three months of us dating! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3077

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My boyfriend wants me to RAISE his three kids… after three months of us dating! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3077 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend wants me to raise his three kids after
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  Speaker 2: three months of us dating.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: One month for each kid sounds fair to me. I,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: 25 female, have been dating my boyfriend, 43 male, for
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: about three months.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: We actually knew each other before we started dating because
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: we used to work together. And at one point, I
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: was technically his boss. He has three children, 12 male,
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: 8 female, and 3 male, that he has on the weekends.
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  Speaker 2: I have absolutely no issue with him prioritizing his kids.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: In fact, I'd be concerned if he didn't. The problem
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: is that our relationship feels like it's moving much faster
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: than I'm comfortable with. He works overnight shifts, so between work,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: sleeping during the day, and spending weekends with his kids,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: we don't get a ton of quality time together. We've
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: had multiple conversations and arguments about this because I sometimes
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: feel like we barely have time to connect. His response
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: is usually that he can't give me more time because
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: of his responsibilities as a father, which I understand. I'm
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: going to pause here. It's not going to work. You're
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: having trouble within three months and you're like arguing to
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: spend more time. And he said, I can't, then it's
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: not going to work. You want more time. He can't
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  Speaker 2: give it to you.
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  Speaker 1: The end.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Despite that, He's already talking about us living together, marriage,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: and even having more children someday.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Ugh, he's just looking for mom. New mom. New mom.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from LilacGemini67, and if you
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: And we are here to give some good advice goofily,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: but we don't have all of the answers you may want.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: We'd only tell you what we would do, but let
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: As OP says... The living situation he has in mind
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: is me moving into his house. He rents out the
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: upstairs and has been working on finishing the basement. The
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: assumption has kind of been that we'd eventually live together there.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Over my birthday, I had a bit of an epiphany.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I realized that I'm not ready for any of that yet.
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  Speaker 2: I haven't even met his children. I'm still trying to
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: figure out what being in a relationship with someone who
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: has three kids looks like. I don't feel ready to
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  Speaker 2: move into his home. become part of that dynamic, or
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: take on that kind of role after only three months together.
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  Speaker 2: At the same time, I don't want to continue living
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: with my parents. I've never really had my own place,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: and I want the experience of having my own apartment
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: and independence. So I applied for an apartment and got approved.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: The issue is that I didn't tell him while I
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: was applying because I was afraid of how he'd react.
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  Speaker 2: Pause again! This isn't going to work!
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: You are already not telling him, you know, all this stuff.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: You guys are kind of like living in a fantasy
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: world of like, you know, I want this.
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  Speaker 1: Me, me, me.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, and I want this. And they don't line up.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: And then you just are ignoring that. And now you're
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: afraid to tell him that you want to be alone
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  Speaker 2: and move into your apartment by yourself. And he's going
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: to have a problem with that. After three months of dating,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: it's not going to work. I haven't broken the news
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: to him yet. From my perspective, getting an apartment isn't
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: me rejecting him.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Well, it'd be healthiest if you guys broke up because
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: you guys are literally polar opposites of what you want
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: in life right now. Not even the net, just the net.
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  Speaker 1: He's looking for a woman who's ready to take care
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  Speaker 1: of his kids with him. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And you literally said, I don't want to do that yet.
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  Speaker 2: So it's therefore, it ain't gonna work. I actually think
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  Speaker 2: it would be healthier for us because we'd each have
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  Speaker 2: our own space. He could come to mine, I could
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: come to his, and we could continue building our relationship
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: without rushing major life decisions. But I know he may
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: see it differently since he's been talking about our future
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  Speaker 2: together and living together. So, am I the a-hole for
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: getting my own apartment behind his back because I'm not
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: ready to move in with him yet? And there is
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: an edit. For people wondering about the how I was
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: his boss, I worked for a very well-known set of
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: gas station chain restaurant place that you could probably take
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: a guess about what it is. And I was a
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: customer service supervisor because I had been working my way
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: up since I was 18 at that job. And he
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: had came in hired as a regular associate. Yeah, I truthfully,
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I kind of do think you're the a-hole for not
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: telling him because he thinks that you're moving in like that.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: That was the conversation and the decision that you had.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: And I'm guessing you're like, oh, yeah, like we could
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: think about it, whatever, blah, blah. And he took that as, OK,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: she's ready to do the next step. But the thing is,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: you're not ready and you need to tell him that.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: He has a whole separate idea in his head and
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: you're just being like, yeah. Like, you know. The thing is,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: you know he's going to get mad. You know he's
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: going to get upset when you tell him, which is
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: why you didn't tell him. And so you did it
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  Speaker 2: behind his back and now you're going to tell him
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: and it's going to blow up.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really feels like now is the time that
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: you need to sort of cut free of this.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Just break it off. You both want different things, and
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: that's completely okay. Doesn't mean you have to hate each other.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: Doesn't mean it has to be awkward at work.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys have been dating for three months.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, it's okay. And you already have different ideas
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: of where you want to go.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: That's fine.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Just cut it off and go be with someone who
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: has your vision. There are some relevant and top comments.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: OP on why she is the boss at that job anyway.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: OP responds, I left that job to go get a
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: career in the medical field. I'm now a phlebotomist. Comment
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to number one says, few things. Why are you afraid
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: of his reaction when he finds out? What do you
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: think he'll do? OP responds, um, I honestly think it'll
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: upset him more than anything. And honestly, I feel like
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  Speaker 2: he would just then break up with me because things
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: aren't going his way because he was so adamant about
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: us moving in together.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so then you break up. Yeah. Is it that horrible?
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  Speaker 1: Because you don't want that.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Comment to number two. Based on pure assumptions, I'm going
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: to guess he left his wife and any man who
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: leaves their wife with children under four to five is
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: absolute scum.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: Well, we don't know exactly what's going on.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Her body and hormones haven't even fully adjusted back from
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: birthing his child. Get the F out. To top that off,
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: he's trying to move in with you. An energetic 25-year-old
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  Speaker 2: to tend to his children while he works overnights. No thanks.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Don't move in. For sure don't have children with him.
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  Speaker 2: Or if I were in your shoes, I'd cut my
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: losses and walk away. OP with a downvoted comment. Uh-oh.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: He was with the mother of his children for about
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: 17 years and they never got married. Had three kids together.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: He knew he wasn't going to marry her. He says
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: how they ended up breaking up. He got back with
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: her old high school love and ended up cheating on him.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, so he was cheated on. She cheated on him
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: with her high school boyfriend.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, so he knew that he wasn't going.
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  Speaker 1: To marry her. Wait, they downvoted that?
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, there's people who don't ever get married, and
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: they still are together. I don't know. Whatever.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Are we downvoting the cheating of the girl?
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know what we're downvoting. I don't think he
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: cheated on her. I think she cheated on him.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she did. The wife cheated on him.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: According to him. Yeah.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: But he also said he knew he was never going
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: to marry her.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: She's a weird vibe.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Maybe she wanted to get married.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Well, they do have a 12-year-old kid.
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  Speaker 2: They have three kids.
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  Speaker 1: So 12 years ago, he became locked in.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, 17 years they were married.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: But really, once the kid is there, that's when you're locked. Yeah. Truthfully.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: That's your marriage certificate. There's an update. Four days later.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: To everyone saying I need therapy, I'm already in therapy
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: and have been. I'm actively working on myself and trying
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: to make healthy decisions. As for the update, last night,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I sat him down and told him that I was
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: moving into my own apartment. He took it better than
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I expected. I explained that this wasn't about running away
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: from him or him holding me back. It was something
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  Speaker 2: I genuinely needed to experience for myself. I've never lived
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: on my own before. and I want the opportunity to
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: build my own life and independence before making such a
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: big commitment with someone else. He did express that he
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: didn't want me to struggle by living on my own,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: and I understood where he was coming from. But I
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: reassured him that I've thought this through financially. Between putting
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: down the security deposit, getting a new job that pays more,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: and budgeting for this move, I feel confident that I
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: can support myself. I didn't want our conversation to turn
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: into an argument over money because that wasn't the point.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: The bigger issue came when he told me that I
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: have about a month to meet his kids because he
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: wants us to move towards a more serious relationship. I
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: was honest and told him I'm still not comfortable with that.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: My fear has never been meeting his children. It's meeting
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: them before I'm certain this relationship is permanent. The last
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  Speaker 2: thing I would ever want is to become part of
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: their lives and then disappear if the relationship doesn't work out.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Which is very mature. I think that is a very
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: good thing to think about.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: You're thinking of the children.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Yes, as you should. And I don't think he is,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: which kind of pisses me off. I also told him
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: that I'm not ready to step into a parental role.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not his wife, and I'm not looking to become
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: a babysitter. I love that answer. Come on, OP, I'm
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: on your side.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Let's go.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I'm a 25-year-old woman who wants to experience a more
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: traditional relationship before becoming involved in raising children. Yeah, I think, Opie,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: you're making the right decision. I think that he really
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: is looking for a wife and or babysitter. And that's
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: just not in your cards. You don't want to do that.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: You don't want to be tied down with these kids
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: that really aren't even yours or your responsibility. You don't
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: want to have you. want that responsibility to be put
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: on you, and that is a completely normal thing. The
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: reason that you don't have children is because you don't
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: want them right now. People choose, and you're choosing not
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: to be a part of this life, and that's all right.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: You're allowed to experience things you're 25. Like, it's all right.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not ready to raise... Three of this guy's kids.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that you don't know and are afraid to meet. Well,
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: not afraid to meet, but just don't want to hurt
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: them in any way, you know? So I don't know.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: I think you're doing the right thing here. I think
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: that conversation made both of us realize we're in very different.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: Stages of life.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: We've decided to take some space from each other. And
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: if I'm being honest, I think it's probably going to
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: turn into a breakup. Yes, I've accepted that because I
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: know what I need right now. And I don't think
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: either of us should have to sacrifice something so important.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: On a happier note, I officially put the security deposit
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: down on my apartment. I'll be moving in at the
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: beginning of July, and I'm genuinely excited for this next chapter.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: I also accepted a new job that pays more, which
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: will help keep me financially stable while I'm out on
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: my own. I'm nervous, but I'm also excited. For the
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: first time in a long time, I feel like I'm
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: making decisions for myself instead of trying to fit into
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: a life I wasn't ready for.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, OP.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: I feel like we had a big character arc there.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Like at first, you're like, I don't know. I'm not sure.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: You know, I like him and I want to please him.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: But also, this isn't really what I want. And guess what?
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: When you make decisions for yourself, you always feel way
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: more happier than making them for someone else.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Boom.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Put that in a book. Quote me on it.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Put that in a book. It's probably in a book somewhere.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You know what? Put that in a book.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I made that up just now on the spot.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Put it in a book.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: Well, that's the end of that story. But we got
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: another one coming right up.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: My girlfriend hid me from her family. She was ashamed
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: to bring me around.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, I thought you were just playing a game of
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: hide and seek. I, 26 male, have been dating my
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: girlfriend Jenna, 25 female, for about four months now.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: It's recently gotten to the point where we've started to
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: introduce each other to our respective families, with me bringing
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: her to meet my parents during a visit home three
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: weeks ago. and me meeting her brother out at dinner
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: last week. Jenna's family always does a huge Memorial Day
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: weekend barbecue where her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: all get together every year. She was hoping to use
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: this opportunity as a way to introduce me to the
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: entire family, and we made plans to go together today.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: About a month ago, some friends of mine introduced me
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: to Ultimate Frisbee. They had picked up the sport as
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: a way to get some cardio in while doing something fun.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I had never really played before, but it seemed like
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: it could be fun, and I decided to join, loving
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: it immediately. Your friends have infected you with the ultimate
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: frisbee virus.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: You got bit by the frisbee bug.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: The frizbug. I'm not very good, but I really enjoy
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: it and have been getting together with some folks at
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: my local park who play every Wednesday and Saturday night.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from SocksWithStripes. If you want
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: And I'm Savannah.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And we're going to read this story and we're going
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: to have our thoughts and they are going to be
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: maybe a little goofy sometimes because we don't have all
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: the answers. We're just a bunch of goofballs. But let
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: us know what you think in the comments and OP Says.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: On Thursday, Jenna asked me if I wouldn't mind skipping
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Ultimate on Friday because she was worried I might get
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: injured before the barbecue this weekend. I kind of brushed
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: off her concerns by saying that I haven't seen anyone
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: get anything more than a scrape so far and that
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: she really shouldn't be concerned. Which is funny because we
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: have a friend who literally got his shoulder torn playing
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Ultimate Frisbee.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: Apparently, I must have tempted fate because on Saturday I
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: was running and trying to intercept a pass when I
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: collided with another player.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what happened.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: To our friend. We knocked heads pretty good. And while
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I was cleared of anything serious like a concussion or
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: a fracture, his forehead gave me a massive goose egg
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: on my eyebrow that has since turned into a pretty
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: nasty black eye. Jenna met me at the urgent care
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: when I was getting checked out. As you can expect,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: she was very concerned. Until we learned everything was okay,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: at which point she became upset and frustrated. There were
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: a lot of I told you so's, and she started
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: spiraling with worry about introducing me to her entire family
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: while I have a huge black eye. Literally, what is
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: the problem, though?
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you could just be like, oh yeah, I play
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: Ultimate Frisbee and I just collided with someone.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: That's all. This is like the energy of like, She's
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: got like the royal family. She's like, oh, everything must
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: be perfect when you meet Papa.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Powder yourself.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Go powder. Oh, goodness. That will never do. Your black
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: eye is egregiously ugly. Oh, you cannot meet Papa in
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: such a state. It's like, dude, I play sports.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I get down and dirty.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: How are they not going to be like, oh, OK,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: that's cool. Like if you're like, yeah, I got a
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: black eye because I was trying to hammer a nail
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: and I just don't know how it works. Hit myself
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: right in the head with it. I thought I had
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: to go back up really fast, but I got it backwards.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Then I wouldn't introduce you to my family because then
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: I'd have to explain how stupid you are.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I told her it shouldn't matter that much and
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: it should only be embarrassing for me and that hopefully
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: it will just be a funny story someday. She got
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: quiet after that and we didn't speak for a little while.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: She admitted later on when we got home that her
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: family can be pretty judgmental and that appearances really matter
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: to them. Because of that, she decided that she was
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: going to go alone to the barbecue. I wasn't too
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: upset because honestly, my eye is pretty sore. But I
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: still would have liked to meet everybody, even with my
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: black eye. I feel bad because she already told her
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: family I was going to come and was really excited
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: to introduce me to everyone. But now she's lying to
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: them all saying I was down with a stomach bug
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: and couldn't make it. Which, by the way, they'll still
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: probably judge you for that. Yeah.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know. It's just who cares? Like, yeah, it's
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: a first impression, you know, but also, you know, then
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: you have something to identify him by. Be like, oh, yeah,
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: that guy with the black eye.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: I would rather be judged as a warrior of the
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: ultimate battlefield than like, oh, my tummy hurts.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: For real, right?
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Oh, Mr. Tummy Man couldn't come. Hey, there he is, Mr.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Tummy Man.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I will say when you're dating somebody and their parents
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: like bully you, it can be really brutal. I dated
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: a girl in high school. Her dad called me Kotex.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Like, the brand. Honestly, just because he was a funny guy.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: My high school daughter's boyfriend, yeah, I'll call him a
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: tampon brand.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: I love Kotex.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: And it was, you know, it was funny. But only
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: because I thought it was funny, right? I still sort
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: of feel like she's making too big of a deal
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: about this, though. So, Reddit, am I the a-hole for what?
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: For having a black eye? No. I mean... Yeah, it
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: sounds like her family's really intense.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, what if, like, you had, like, some
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: sort of, like, disability? Like, would you not be able
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: to meet the family? Like, say you were in, like,
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: a wheelchair or, like, you had, like, crutches or something. Like,
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: would they think badly of you? Like, I don't know.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: This is just, like, it's not like it's going to
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: stay there forever. You're not going to have a black
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: eye forever. It's going to be gone. But, you know,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's really just, you know, something happened
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: before and that's it.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't really feel like.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: It's a big deal.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Just show up in a tuxedo. Problem solved. Boom.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: They'll be like, wow, this guy gets down and dirty,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: but also can clean up nice.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: Update. Verdict was not the a-hole, but the comments were split.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Many agreed that it was only a black eye and
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: it was ridiculous for Jenna to refuse to let me
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: go after she had previously told her family I was coming.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: On the other side, many felt I was selfish by
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: playing after Jenna had asked me not to. and that
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I was insensitive by telling her my eye wasn't a
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: big deal. Despite the verdict, the you are the a-hole
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: comments resonated with me, and I felt I needed to
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: apologize to Jenna.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, it's like, I don't believe
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: that it's that big of a deal. Like, yeah, I
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: apologize for being like, sorry, I know you said not to,
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: and you didn't want me to get hurt, and then I'll,
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: you know, now I did get hurt, so I apologize,
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: you were right, whatever. But, you know, accidents happen. It's
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: not like you meant to go there and, like, get
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: a black eye on purpose, you know?
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, I just wanted to look cool for
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: your family. At the end of the day, if your
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: family is going to judge me so hard for having
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: a black eye, I don't think I want to know
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: your family. Right? I told her I was sorry that
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: I put her in such a tough situation and didn't
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: realize how important it was to her. I also apologized
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: for dismissing her feelings by not realizing that things that
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: affect me can affect her just as much. Jenna responded
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: with her own apology, saying that she felt awful leaving
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: me behind when she knew I was prepared to meet
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: her family, even with the shiner. She explained that when
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: her brother introduced his boyfriend to the family, the aunt's
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: uncles and grandparents were extremely critical behind their backs, due
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: largely to his laid back personality and dressing casually. This
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: escalated and ended up being a point of contention. And
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: now her brother and his now fiance frequently avoid larger
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: family functions. Well, yeah, because it sounds like all of
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: your family members suck and are like, oh, who is
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: this chill guy who is cool? not wearing a tuxedo.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: What a loser. Now I'm, I don't know.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I feel like this is a reflection on the family.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: And I, and truthfully, if your girlfriend really loved you,
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: she wouldn't care what her family thinks.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Jenna explained that despite their flaws, she loves those people
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: and didn't want to be put in a position where
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: she'd have to choose them or me.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is like kind of traumatic.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: So bad.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: It sounds like your family is really not that great. Yeah.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: That sucks. We talked about it and ultimately, oh, Decided
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: that while those people can wait to meet me until
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I no longer look like I'm doing some half racketeering.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: cosplay but that i could at least meet her parents
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: and other siblings we ended up planning to go out
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: for dinner two days later on friday night when we
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: got to dinner i opened with a joke about needing
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: to wait to see them because i literally couldn't see
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: before which got some laughs and broke the tension I
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: guess something to be aware of. You guys have been
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: dating for four months.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, this guy's got jokes. And a black eye. Honestly,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: in my opinion, he's a keeper.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, who knows? If she's really into you, look,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: no matter what, when she finds somebody she really likes,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: she's going to be put in that position where if
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: her family is like, she's going to be put in
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: that position regardless.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so, and I feel like that's something that you
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: guys could work on together. Just being like, you know,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: it's like exposure therapy. Like exposing him to the family
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: and if they say critical things, you can be like, hey,
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I actually don't, I would, you know, I would like
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: it better if you didn't judge him as much.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hey.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Just be cool.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I would like it if you didn't bully my boyfriend,
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: that'd be great. Yeah. Thank you. Don't talk about him
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: like that, please, thank you. Jenna's parents seemed to really
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: like me and we got along well. Her two brothers,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: who I had not yet met, were very happy to
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: make fun of my eye. And we're debating between two
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: different nicknames. Pandy seems to be the leading candidate, given
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: that I go by Andy, and bear a striking resemblance
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: to a panda at this moment. All in all, things
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: turned out okay. We'll plan to meet her other relatives
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: on the 4th of July. I've already promised no ultimate
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: for at least a week before then. Can't wait! And
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: that's the end of that story.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Yay, so it... worked out you got to i mean
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: you didn't meet all the family but i think honestly
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: this was the best scenario.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I put a big benjamin down on the table for
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: that one i say i put it all on put
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: it all on getting bullied for ultimate frisbee.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I am also gonna put a benjamin they're.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: Gonna say hey check get a load of the ultimate
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: athlete over here huh throws a disc around this.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Guy And then gets a black guy, even though they
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: won't see the black guy.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: Hey, he gets a black guy playing ultimate frisbee. Hey,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: don't let this guy near any real sports. He might disintegrate.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: More like an ultimate bozo.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Am I right?
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Which honestly, if that is what they said, I'd be like,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: you guys are funny.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, I'm into this.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Don't touch me with that basketball. I'll decompose. Oh, that
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: is the end of that story. And we got another one.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: A girl flirted with me all night, then said I.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Wasn't good enough.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Hit you with the Uno reverse card. I, 26 male, alumni,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: originally met a younger student, 21 female, online through a
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: club I used to be in, and I helped students
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: with resumes and interview prep. At first, I didn't even
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: like her. We interacted on Discord months ago, and my
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: role was mentor to mentee, giving career advice and helping students.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: About three weeks ago, she reached out about something and
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: we started texting personally. The conversations were long, friendly, and honestly,
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: pretty flirty. As we talked more, she gave me her
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Instagram and I was like, she's pretty cute. I then
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: started to genuinely like her, not romantically at first, but
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: eventually I became open to dating after getting to know
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: her better. Last week, she asked me to dinner. We
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: met up this weekend for the first time and I
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: was like, she's pretty cute in person too. By the way,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: this comes from I am looking for a new job.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: If you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: And we are here to give some good advice in
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: a little goofy way, but we don't have all the answers.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: We can only tell you what we would do, but
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: let us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: As Opie says. When we met up, she was physically flirty,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: touching me, complimenting me, leaning in, laughing a lot, staying close,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: and keeping strong eye contact. After dinner, I got the
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: bill because I thought she did like me, and she
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: asked if I wanted to get boba or dessert with her.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: She paid for dessert. The vibe felt mutual, so I
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: thought she might actually like me. She texted me she
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: had fun and she got home safe. Based on that,
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: when I got home, I replied, said I had fun
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: and I'm home safe. Then I asked if she wanted
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: to go on a real date sometime, my treat. That's
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: when everything suddenly flipped. She sent a long emotional message
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: saying she wasn't open to dating, that she had higher
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: standards than me, that I misunderstood her and that she
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: only needed support from a friend and that it hurts
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: that she ended up going out with a male instead
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: of making a friend, which she struggles with. She also
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: said I was wrong for thinking she liked me that
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: maybe she may have led me on, then criticized my personality,
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: even though she was the one being flirty in person,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: and she said she didn't know why I was interested
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: in her. I felt like I don't have to explain
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: why I'm interested in a woman. I replied once, politely, Hey,
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: that's a bummer. No worries. I appreciate the honesty. After
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: taking some time to think about it, I realized I
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: can't do a friendship. Best of luck out there. And
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's a pretty good response. I mean,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: she said she didn't like you. And you responded with, oh, okay, well,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: that stinks. But I don't really want to do like
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: the friends thing because I do have a crush on you. So,
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: you know, good luck. And I think that's normal. I've
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: done that before. I've said like, oh.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: This is just a normal rejection.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And I feel like it's actually kind of nice.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't like how she criticized your personality
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: and kind of was like, you know, I have higher
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: standards than you.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: That is. That does kind of suck.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: That's a backhanded compliment. She kind of did a compliment sandwich.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's like, okay, just let it roll off
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: your back. It's like, next. Ariana Grande, thank you, next.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Thank you, next. Next. Thank you, next.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Next.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you, next.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: You guys aren't even exes. You guys didn't even really date.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: You went on one date.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: So you can't even say the next part of the song.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: After that, I stopped.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Replying because I saw she then deleted me on Instagram
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: and LinkedIn. About 17 hours later, she sent another message
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: accusing me of being selfish and not empathetic for not
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: replying to her rant sooner.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like you go, you know, that's the
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: sound of the ghost town.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: I don't understand what she wants. Does she want you
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: to chase after her?
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, but you don't need to.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you definitely don't need to. She literally said
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: she doesn't want anything with you. So why waste your time?
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: And your feelings on this girl who literally just told you, no,
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: I don't want to date you. And you're like, okay, well,
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I do want to see where this is going. But
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I also want to respect you. So I'm just going to,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Bro, just send her a, my bad. Have a nice life.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: That's all. My bad. Have a nice life.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: That's basically what he said. She said she wished that
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: we didn't meet and meeting me was a waste of
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: time that she wouldn't contact me again and ended with
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: stay alive and good luck.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: That sounds like a threat. Stay alive. Stay. Who says that?
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Stay alive and good luck. What are you guys in
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: the apocalypse?
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. What is this?
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Like fallout? What does she know that we don't know?
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I would just, I would.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Just say, Oh, you know, stay safe.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Good luck or something. Stay alive. But stay alive is
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: kind of threatening. Survive. Survive. You survive for me out there.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Even though I had regret meeting you and it was
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: a waste of my life. what? Survive!
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: There is a little bit left. Um, let's just get
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: into it.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you, next.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: At that point, I felt like the way she reacted
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: made it impossible to have any kind of relationship, even
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: the casual conversation. If she had simply said, I'm not
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: open to dating, but I appreciate it, I would have
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: been totally fine and still open to being at least
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: an acquaintance. But the emotional rant, plus calling me selfish,
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: plus saying the meeting was a waste of time, Plus,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: deleting me everywhere made the whole thing feel irreversible. Now,
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not open to reconnecting with her at all, even
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: if she changed her mind. The emotional volatility was too much.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Am I the a-hole? For what? For not wanting to
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: be friends with her when she literally isn't interested in you?
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: You don't have to be friends with anyone. And also,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: you never, like, I think it's more mature of you
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: to step back than saying, oh yeah, let's be friends,
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: but you still have a crush on her.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I just, I don't think you're the a-hole for being like,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: this isn't.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Going to work. I think she's the a-hole for just
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: being weird about everything.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: And I don't even think, you weren't even the one
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: who was like, this isn't going to work. She was like,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: this isn't going to work. Yeah. And then she got
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: mad at you for not being more upset that she
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: didn't think it was going to work. Yeah.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Like what am I supposed to do?
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Which is like classic, like insecure, like whatever you're dodging
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: a bullet. Yeah.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: She's just playing mind games. Don't even fall for it.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Just be done. And, you know, she's the one who
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: blocked you on everything or deleted you off of everything. Honestly, good.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, and we got
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: another one coming right up.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Hey, it's Carly, Keon's girlfriend, here. We're going
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Of ads from our sponsors.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend spends thousands on games but won't buy me
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: a ring.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Uh, because the games are worth it, the ring isn't.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend rarely has money, not for lack of working,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: but for lack of saving. He buys all sorts of things.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: He's a video game collector. Lately, Nintendo have him buy
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: his colonies. He has been purchasing every major released game
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: and amiibo. You haven't been following. I like them. They're okay.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I definitely want to buy the new Wooly Yoshi packs
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: because they look pretty cool and Yoshi was my first
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: ever favorite game as a child. Anyway... Enough with the
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: nerd stuff. Just kidding. I like it. In total, my
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: boyfriend has spent about 900 bucks on Amiibos alone since
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: the initial release. Ah!
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Ooh, that's not cool or fun.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: That's too many hundos on Amiibos. Though I spend money
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: on Legos, so.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Too many oohs.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: I do buy plastic bricks for children, but technically they're not.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: I buy the ones that say 18 and up.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Whoa, he does adult Legos.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: There's too many numbers in these Legos for stupid babies
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: to understand.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Uh-oh, he can read and write.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Look out! That $ 900 doesn't even include the actual video
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: games that go along with them. $ 50 each, I see
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: 19 cases from where I'm sitting right now. And also
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: anything else that takes his eye. Things that will be
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: worth more in the long run. There are more to
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: be released soon. Wave after wave come out. By the way,
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: this comes from a deleted user, and if you want
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: And I'm Savannah.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: And we're going to read this story and have our thoughts,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: and you get to have yours, too, down in the
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: comments where we can read them. But just know we
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: don't know everything. If you do, please tell us. We
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: have questions. And Opie says, But today we had a
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: discussion about getting engaged and engagement rings. His opinion, in
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: a nutshell, is I only want to get engaged because
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: other people do it, and rings are just a way
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: to show off. For people like you. He said I
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: am being childish and materialistic for wanting a diamond ring
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: and not just a plain ring. No way this man
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: just said you're childish for wanting an engagement ring when
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: he spent $ 900 on Amiibos.
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: Yep, make it make sense.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Think one of those purchases is just a little more
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: childish than the other.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: In my opinion, yeah.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Just a little smidgen. He said he would spend about
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: maybe $ 250 on a ring.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: Dang, you're going to like Claire's?
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Now, if you've looked at rings, you'll know that anything
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: in that area is a promise ring made of silver
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: with maybe a diamond if you're lucky. I know what
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I like, and it costs a little more than $ 250.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: And I am not talking about a Tiffany ring here
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: that costs $ 35, 000. I think maybe $ 1, 500 would be Correct.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Something that will have a diamond, but not too big.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Not too outrageous, but durable. Maybe wait until a sale
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: to get a better deal. So I could get something
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: that was $ 1, 700 maybe. I could easily buy that myself
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: right now. I could spend $ 3, 000 right now if I
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: wanted to. Is it selfish and materialistic if I want
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: something more than what he suggested? Something maybe that costs
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: more than the pieces of plastic he justifies as being important.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Mind you, he doesn't actually open the packages and use
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: the toys. They go on a shelf to look at.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: These are investments, babe. I'm making investments.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's crazy. So he doesn't actually use them. He
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: just collects them.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's going to sell them. Yeah. They're going to
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: be worth.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: $ 100 million. In like 200 years.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think your boyfriend is out of pocket for
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: suggesting getting you a $ 250 ring for an engagement. He's
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: just going to be like, I got you this piece
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: of string. We're getting married. I got you a piece
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: of string. It's old-fashioned. Why?
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Come on. You don't want a little of this?
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I took some money out of my Amiibo video game
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: fund and put it into the string fund. It's a
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: really nice string.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: This string has glitter on it. It's sparkly. I know
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: how much you love a sparkle. You want to show
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: off to all your friends.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: And guess what? I got even more string in the back.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: It came with more extra string. So if the string
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: falls off your finger, I tie another string. It's like
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: you never lost your wedding ring.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: I got 15 yards of this in the trunk.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: Sorry, I mean wedding string. Wedding string.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: Change the game, baby.
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: I say to him, It's not all about what people
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: think or just because other people get those things. Sure,
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: it's a little bit of that. But why do other
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: women get presented with a beautiful ring without being prompted?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Because they are loved. Why is our relationship different? He
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: is painfully cynical at every turn and always bucks against
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: tradition or expectation. Anything that I want is backed with,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: why should you do what everyone else does? Do it differently.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I want a symbol of our commitment, something to treasure
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: and something I can wear for the rest of my life.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I don't think that a cheap ring can stand the
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: test of time. He is fighting me at every turn,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: and I don't even know if he is serious about
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: the amount he has presented. But it concerns me. I
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: told him, as this is a commitment between the two
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: of us, I'm happy to help buy a ring. So
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I'm happy with what I get, and we both work
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: towards that. He said, no, and that it was silly. Oh,
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: this guy is not making it easy.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: Also, I feel like you two want very different things.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know if marriage is in your future, truthfully,
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: because it seems like he just wants to do this,
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: and he doesn't want to do anything traditional. He doesn't
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: care about what people think, and you're completely opposite of that.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy wants you to propose, With amiibos that
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: you give him. That's what he wants. Well, babe, no
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: one's done that. We'd be different. Yeah.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Honestly, he would like that. Ugh.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: It's just like, ugh. It's like you can have this thing. Ugh.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: But also, like, give some attention to me as well.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: Like, me and Keon both. Keon has infected me with
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: the Lego bug. And I've started to buy more Legos recently.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: And I build them. And if someone was like, that's childish,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, a little. It's a little whimsical, maybe.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not overextending myself, right? But, you know, and he
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: buys them and he doesn't really build. He keeps them
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: all like investments.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: No way, really?
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: A little bit, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, he
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: also just doesn't have to, if he built them all,
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: he would have no space for them.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: That is true.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: But it's also like the, yeah, if I need money
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: in a pinch, he has a valuable collection. And it
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: retains its value. But I'm sure if Carly was like,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: we should think about a ring, he wouldn't be like, well,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: I've only got about 250 bucks in the tank for
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: that because there's a new Lego Star Wars set coming
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: out I got to save up for. That would be insane.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: That would be crappy.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: He would go, oh, it's childish that you want a ring.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: That's insane. Yeah.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: This is like every girl's dream. And even if it isn't,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: It's a symbol of love. It's a symbol of trust.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: It's a symbol of connection.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: If we're going into a commitment for life, I think
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: it's only fitting if we both put money down for
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: the purchase. I don't mind that at all. If you
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: have any advice, I'd appreciate it. Honestly, I think my
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: advice would be, are you sure you want to get
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: married to this guy?
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like you both have different priorities right now.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: And I don't think either of you are ready to
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: compromise yet. over it. So I don't know.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: There's an update. You'd be safe to say not a
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: lot has changed and this is going to be event.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: And hopefully some new faces will offer an opinion or
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: advice on how to handle him. Well, what things I
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: should be saying to him as when I point out
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: his actions, he can acknowledge he's doing it, but he
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: doesn't stop.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: Clearly.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I have the right to be
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: annoyed by this as I spend my own money too.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: I just went out yesterday and spent a hundred bucks
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: on jewelry for myself. I also have a bit of
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: a weakness for Lego. You little cheeky little. Which can
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: be quite expensive. It's true. But I hold off when
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: I'm low on funds. I always save money monthly, too.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I'm now watching him play Animal Crossing with his brand
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: new Amiibos. Today, he spent $ 371 on them. It would
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: have cost $ 430, but he previously left a deposit when
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: ordering the items. To catch up on the last few months,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: he didn't pick any up. We recently discussed getting married again,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: and I have been sorting out my ring size at
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: his request. With a few days until our anniversary, he
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: said he'll need my size. I wasn't sure what it was.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: So our anniversary went by without a proposal, which I expected,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: as the ball is in my court now. He upped
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: his budget to $ 500 for a ring, apparently. Again, still
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: don't know if this is true. And still doesn't know
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: what the point of rings actually is. How do I
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: explain this to you in amiibo terms?
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: That's the only way he'll get it.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: You know how you like your amiibos? I like a ring.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: Imagine wearing amiibos.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: And they're in the shape of a ring.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Is it making sense?
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: He's also looking for a car at the moment. I
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: believe I might be loaning him this money as he's
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: interested in a car that's about $ 4, 500. So he said
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: in one discussion, a ring won't get him from point
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: A to point B. But you're going to buy his car? Bro,
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: what are you doing? I hope everyone is in the
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: comments being like, don't marry this man child. What are
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: we talking about?
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't marry him. He's not ready for it.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Just hit him with the, why would you want a car?
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Everyone else has a car. Shouldn't you want it? like
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: a unicycle? Why don't I get you one of those
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: bikes with a big wheel in the front? You can,
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: what is it? A penny farthing. Yeah, I'll get you
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: a penny farthing. Don't you want to be different? You're
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: just getting a car because everyone else has one. Don't
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: you want to be different? Boom. The way I would
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: legitimately smack him in the face with that And when
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: he goes, well, that's different, I'd go, I hate you. Well,
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter because I hate you. He said this
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: to imply there's no point in the ring. I bought
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: more silver and pearl rings for myself to see how
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: they feel or fit as an engagement ring. And because
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I like to wear them, my fingers swell quite a lot.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: So I want to see what size would be best
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: for a ring I'm wearing every single day. Sausage fingers.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I could and will be measured. but I won't know
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: how a ring will truly fit without testing out some
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: real ones. I don't want to give him the wrong size.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Then again, I have asked him to please pick a
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: ring that will allow for resizing, which he has had
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: trouble listening to. I tried asking, but I'm not sure
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: he even heard me, because you've got to put it
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: in amiibo speak. I'm not sure. Yeah, you've got to
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: talk to him like a me character.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Oh wait yeah that's if that song's not playing in
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: the background he can't understand what you're saying.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah he needs like some point of reference to come
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: back to he feels safe with that on.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Some rings cannot be pulled apart so i hope he
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: listens anyways i guess i just wanted to vent that
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: things are still a bit off His budget of $ 500
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: is nothing by comparison to the amount that has gone
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: to toys that have either stayed in the shopping bag,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: been dumped on our bedroom floor, or left on a shelf.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: He opened one to play, and we played a game together,
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: but overall, not much use will be had with his purchases.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: It's not so much the plastic, it's the fact that
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: he can't set aside any money towards me. He can't
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: see the worth in buying a ring to symbolize our
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: love and future. He just doesn't see it that way.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: He sees it as a compulsory inconvenience. I had to
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: remind him we had a savings account because we kept
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: having issues collecting enough money for rent. And he was
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: confused about why I needed him to deposit money into
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: our joint account punctually so I could actually set some
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: money aside for rent. He says, oh, we have another account.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: He helped me open it. There's no way he forgot.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: Where's Sabrina Carpenter?
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: Man child.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: Where is she?
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: Why you always come running on me?
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: It's OP. OP is Sabrina Carpenter. Because that's a man
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: child that you're considering marrying. Don't.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Don't do it.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Girl, I swear to God. Don't do it. Run. Get
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: out of there. You are so understanding of this man.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: You must like him a lot.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just really making excuses. And it seems like
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: you're not going to get the ring that you want
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: if you stay. Just so you know. You're not going
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: to get what you want.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: He's financially illiterate. He refuses to just even hear that
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: you want a ring regardless of like, oh, society, blah, blah.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Shut up. I want a ring. I'm going to be
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: your wife, right? What are we talking? And you don't
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: want the $ 35, 000 ring. You're going to give him $ 4, 500
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: for his car? Bye. Please don't do that. He's quite
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: hard to work with financially. I don't know how to
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: get it through to him that we need to save money,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: we need to work together, and he actually needs to
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: step back from the children's toys. And he won't be
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: able to spend that much for the rest of his life.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: He doesn't make enough money to be blowing it like that.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: That being said, I spend money too, so I guess
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm being fair. I guess I
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: save money, which is something. Anyway, I guess I just
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: need to know how other men and women feel about
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: engagement rings. If I'm being unfair on him because I'm
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: resenting this spending and if there's anything I can do.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: Rings are fine if you want them. You're not being
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: unfair and you can leave. That's how I would respond
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: to that. He's improving on the idea by actually saying
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: he will buy one, but still seems to have the
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: same opinions anyway. He refuses to let me help pay.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: He won't even walk into a store with me to
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: get my finger measured. He won't look at rings with me.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: He says he has to buy it all on his
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: own without my input. The dumbest way. Oh, God.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, he's going to buy you some crappy thing,
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: and you're not going to like it, and it's just
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: going to start another argument.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I can't even show him what types I like. That's
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: the end of the story. Yeah, he's going to buy
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: you Zelda's ring, and it's going to be a toy
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: he can use to play video games.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just... You two are on completely opposite sides
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: right now, and I don't think you'll be able to
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: get on the same side because... Your values are different.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Y'all don't even live in the same dimension right now.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Literally.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story. I finally
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: found peace away from my family, but now they're back.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Oh no, they found us! Go, go, go! My parents
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: forced me to be responsible for my siblings from a
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: very early age. Parentification. When I was five, it was
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: making sure my siblings were supervised when my parents went
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: to the store or did things around the house, dressed
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: my brother when he needed to go out or go
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: to bed, and he was in my room, so I
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: was supposed to make sure he didn't wander outside the
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: room at night. At five. Five? Too early. Double that.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: He's adventurous. What can he say?
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: Those last two things included my sisters when they were
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: two and three years old. Then when they were starting school,
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: I had to walk them to and from school with
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: me since I walked alone before then. And I had
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: to help with homework after school. I was also supposed
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: to give my siblings an after school snack before or
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: during homework if they got hungry. There was also roughly
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: four times a week babysitting most weeks. I was also
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: responsible for making sure my siblings behaved well and did
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: what they needed to do. So if one of them
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: broke something, I was punished and not them.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: So you're the mom.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: What were your parents doing this whole time? Just like
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: going on cruises?
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was wondering that too.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: It feels like your parents would be cruise ship people.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: Just based on all that information, they seem like they're
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: like the Bahamas.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: They're just on a cruise ship talking to strangers like, yeah,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: we got five kids at home. Or I don't know.
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: The oldest is taking care of them all. Four or five.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know. We don't really handle that. Our oldest does.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: He's five. When they were being loud, I would get
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: yelled at for not keeping them under control. They knew
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: it was happening and I used to beg them to
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: act better. But my brother and younger sister, 21, would
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: ignore me. My baby sister would listen some of the
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: time and then she'd push back if she got annoyed
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: at me for any reason. By the way, this comes
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: from throwawaythenotkid. If you want to submit your own stories,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: go to the r slash okaystorytime subreddit. I'm Dakota. And
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah. And we're going to read this story where
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: this kid is literally a dad. And we're going to
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: have our own thoughts about it. And you get to
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: have yours, too. And you get to put them in
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: the comments. Just know that I don't know everything. She
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: doesn't know everything. And... You might not know everything either,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: but I'd never say that. And OP says, My siblings
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: acted out badly from third grade until high school. Luckily,
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: I wasn't living at home for all of them being
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: in high school. But when my brother started high school,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: I was so effing done. I blamed my parents, but
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I also blamed them for doing nothing to help me.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: I saw our parents as failures and I considered my
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: siblings bad siblings who hadn't earned me sacrificing for them.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: By the time I was 16, I was one foot
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: out the door planning my escape. And I knew from
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: around that age that I would be going no contact
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: with all of them. Your siblings didn't really do anything wrong.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: They're also victims of your terrible failure parents.
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't know. It's just another connection to them.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Because if you stay connected to them, you're going to get,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: you know, you're going to get.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I think the beautiful thing would be to have
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: the connection with your siblings and you all reject your
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: parents together. Because they weren't your parents.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: They were just cruise ship people. I'm really sticking on that.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I didn't care that they were going to miss me.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: The resentment and anger and hate I had for my
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: whole family was through the roof. They could feel it
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: in the months leading up to me leaving. They would
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: push for me to say why I was mad, wouldn't
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: believe me when I told them, and pushed more with
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: the belief that I was lying. There was a day
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: my brother and youngest sister were really stuck on math
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: and science homework, respectively, and I ignored them, even though
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: I could have helped. I finished my homework, and I
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: still ignored them. I told them to figure it out
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: for themselves and leave me the F alone. Of course,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: that also got me into trouble, but I was beyond
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: caring about that. My parents argued with me every time
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I brought up the unfairness of the situation. They told
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: me if I had to miss out on after school
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: activities or friends or on my own homework, then that
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: was only fair because my siblings needed me. No, they
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: need parents. They would also make me stay home if
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: one of my siblings was sick. I was told it
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: was my job to do my part so both of
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: my parents could work. and you know what else they
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: did they saved for my siblings to go to college
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: or do whatever in the future i didn't even have
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: a bank account until i opened up my own when
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: i found out about it my siblings all told me
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: i was being mean and a drama queen my brother
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: even mocked me for it the years of no contact
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: were the best years of my life. And I honestly
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: have given zero thought to reconciling until now. And it's
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: only because my siblings contacted me. They told me they
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: missed and loved me and wanted to have a real
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: sibling relationship with me now. I replied a little and
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: told them I wasn't sure. They said they could prove
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: it would be worth it. But they are also trying
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: to convince me that our parents did the best they
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: could and that I have been too harsh on all
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: of them. But I mean... If the context of all
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: of this is that your parents had four kids and
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: they could barely provide for them and had to work
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: all the time and they both had jobs that prevented
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: them from being able to be home, that means they're
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: not cruise ship people. So.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: That dream is shattered.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: It makes it a little easier to stomach for me
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: having not had to deal with it at all. But like,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: still totally fair that you're like, you guys parentified me
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: and I don't want anything to do with you. Yeah,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: it's not fair to you.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: You literally did not have a childhood because of these people.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, I'd be resentful, too.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: It's like and if you can't afford one, if you
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: can't afford two kids, if you can't afford kids, don't
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: have kids. Full stop. They're expensive. Yeah.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: And a lot of work and attention.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: Sometimes you're not going to want to do it, but
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: you have chosen that path. You have to do it.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: I think the real cherry on top for me would
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: have been, like, the fact that they're saving for all
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: the other kids and have bank accounts for all of them,
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: but not me. The one making sure they're being raised.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, why are you Cinderella? I don't understand what's
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: happening here. It's not like you're, like, a fair child
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: or something like that. And even then, it shouldn't be
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: an issue. But, like. They just have put you in
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: a parental position for what? Because they don't want to
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: do it? That's not cool at all.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: But yeah, reclaim your siblings. Reclaim your sibling relationship. Please,
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: please do it for me. Opie says, they asked me
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: if I resented all of them still, and I said, partially.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: I told them I knew our parents were to blame,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: but they never made it easy on me either. Then
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: they went right back to saying, well, it's unfair to
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: say our parents were to blame. I was like, you
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: know what? Leave me alone. And I was better off
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: no contact. They begged me to stop and they told
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: me we need a relationship with each other and they're sorry,
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: but I am having a hard time with it. All
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: the work I did in therapy to release most of
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: that resentment will go out the window if we reconnect.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I can already say that with a lot of confidence
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: because I feel like none of them appreciate how I
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: was treated badly during my childhood. And I was never
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: given a chance to be a kid like they were. Well, yeah,
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: they don't understand that, but they never will if you
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: just continue to not be in contact with them. Stay
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: no contact with your parents. I would want nothing to
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: do with them.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, parents. But, you know, you can't blame the kids
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: because they were kids and that's kind of all they knew.
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, wait, hold on just one second. Worst of all,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: they still see our parents as blameless. Yeah, and they're
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: going to because your parents gave them stuff that they
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: didn't give you. And also, you know, they did work.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: They were working. They weren't cruise shipping.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: They're never going to see it from your side because
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: they never had to go through it. They were the
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: golden children and they got everything they wanted. They got
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: bank accounts. They were set for life. They, you know,
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: had someone to look after them at all times. And
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: you you were just, you know, basically the help, which
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: is really sad because you you shouldn't have to feel
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: that way when you're an older sibling. Like not everything
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: needs to like you now have to be the parental
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: figure again. Because your parents can't be parental figures. That's
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: not right to do to a child.
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. But I would try to reclaim that relationship regardless.
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: Because it could be really good. And it might.
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: Help you heal from some stuff as well.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you deserve to be able to have that relationship
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: with your siblings. And maybe tell them some of the
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: stuff you went through in therapy. Get a little vulnerable
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: with them. You can't get to the ooey gooey, soft, caring,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: loving center of life without being vulnerable. It sucks because
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: that also opens you up to like, ooh, ouchie, ow,
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: that hurt. But you can't get to the ooey gooey
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: center without it. So yeah, that's the end of that story.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: My brother trashed my home after a party and my
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: family blamed me. It wasn't me. Okay, so this story
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: starts a little over a month ago.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Oh no.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Oh no. It's my brother. Oh, no. He starts telling
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: me that he messed up.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: And he had something he had to tell me. Oh,
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: this is getting worse. He burned my couch.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: What?
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: Like just a little cigarette burn or you burn it
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: all up?
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: It's gone. Which one? How to get burned. First, his
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: story went a little like this. So, hey, man, I
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: was having a party at your house and one of
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: my friends dropped a candle on your couch and it
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: burned a hole into it. The actual story is that
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: they were smoking in my house, which I absolutely do
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: not allow. And ashes fell on the couch and it
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: burned a hole into it. But I only found out
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: two weeks ago. Not as fun. By the way, this
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: comes from Sam Raspy. If you want to submit your
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota. I'm Sophia. We're going to read this story.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: We're going to have our thoughts. We're going to give
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: our good advice goofily. We don't know everything and neither
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: do you. So put your comments in the comments and
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: we'll read them and see what you know. And we
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: love you. Okay. Opie says, I was quite disappointed. So
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: I told him, why would you even throw a party?
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: You were only supposed to look after the house. And
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: now you do this. He apologized and told me his
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: friend will pay for it and they'll get a new couch.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: How much is a new couch running these days?
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: A couple.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: Couple grand, Buster. I have a feeling your brother is
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: unaware of the price tag on this new couch. I
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: don't think he knows how much a couch can cost.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: And I have a feeling when he says new couch,
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: he says the cheapest couch I can find on Facebook Marketplace. Yes,
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: he's getting a Wayfair couch. So I accepted that offer
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: and said, sure, just get it done before I'm back.
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: And he said that he'll do that. When I got
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: back from vacation, he got me almost the same couch.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: Same size, same color, but with a different texture and fringes?
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: That's kind of a weird vibe.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: Genuinely, I would have not bought a couch without messaging
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: a picture of the couch.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: To the person that you're giving it to.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: That's a wild move.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: Just like a, hey, thoughts on this one? Do we
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: like this couch? Since it's going to be yours.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: Sorry about the couch incident.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: So I told him these aren't the same. I would
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: like the same couch in return. So he told me
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: that this one was a free pickup just as a
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: temporary fix so he'd have more time to get the
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: right one. I didn't mind because, hey, At least he's
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: putting in effort. Fast forward five weeks now, and he
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: still hasn't gotten me a couch, and he kept making
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: excuses that he couldn't find the time or didn't have
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: the money.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: That you shouldn't have thrown a party in Not Your House.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Mind you, the couch I had was secondhand, and they're
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: around 100 euros on the secondhand market. My brother is unemployed,
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: doesn't go to school, so he has plenty of time
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: to do stuff and spends all his time going out
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: to dinner and hanging out with his friends, spending money.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: Where's it coming from?
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, where is he getting all this money? Is it
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: just your parents?
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: Is he stealing it from the bank?
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: He's just selling couches. He buys and sells couches.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: He's got money from somewhere, and I mean, look... Honestly,
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: here's what I'd say. You say that every single element
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: of the couch is the same, except it's got a
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: different texture and it's got fringes. Get the fringe off
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: of there. Just cut it off.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: Cut the fringe off of that couch.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: OP doesn't want to, I think probably she's assuming, oh,
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: I'm going to return this couch.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, but if it was a free pickup, where
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: do you return it to?
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: Oh, free pickup from like a Facebook marketplace.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it was. I think it was free.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Then, yeah, cut the things off.
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think you're going to have better
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: luck with that than actually getting your brother to buy
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: you a different couch.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: Anyway, so I was fed up and I told him
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: to wire me the money so I can do it
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: myself because I was tired of waiting. I told him
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: I'd need at least 200 euros for the couch, renting
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: a trailer and gas money. Well, he didn't agree and
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: said he'd only pay 150 because he found the same
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: couch for 50. And renting a trailer is $ 50 and
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: remaining $ 50 for gas. Hey, big guy throwing a party
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: in your house, ruining your furniture, talking a lot of
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: big talk. Yeah. I'd just be like, you know what?
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Just send me 200 euros for damages. I'm going to
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: keep this couch. You owe me 200 euros. Give me
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: my old couch back.
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: Give it here, Malfoy.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Let's finish this story. Oh, boy. I told him that
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: even so, 50 bucks on gas just won't cut it
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: because I'd have to drive a total of 400 kilometers
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: to lend a car with a trailer hitch, getting a trailer,
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: picking up the couch, and returning everything. Sister. Huh? Hey. What?
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: Come here. What? Not worth it. Not worth it. Not
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: worth it. Cut the fringe off. Cut it off. It's fine.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: It's too much. Too much work. Gas isn't cheap where
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: I live. Around 2.35 euros per liter or $ 11 a gallon.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: So yeah, 50 won't be enough. He said he could
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: do it for way cheaper if I allowed him to
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: do it himself. So I told him if it's so
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: cheap and easy. I'll give him another week to do
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: so before doing it myself. For some reason, he saw
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: that as a threat. He went all crazy on me
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: and told me to not threaten him and never talk
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: to him again because he's done helping me. He wired
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: me 250 and told me to never contact him again.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: And now my family is acting like I was the
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: one in the wrong in this situation and had to
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: be more understanding. And I shouldn't have been so harsh
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: on him because he usually always helps when I ask.
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: But I think after giving him six weeks to fix
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: it and him doing literally nothing about it, I had
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: a valid point. So am I the a-hole? What do
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: you mean? Are you threatening me? Are you threatening me?
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: You know, I just said, okay, fine. You have a week.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: If you don't do it in a week, I'm just
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: going to do it myself. It's been like a month
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: and a half. How's that a threat? How's that a threat, dude?
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: The threat is I'll take care of it.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: How's that? What's the threat? Where's the threat? Crazy. You're
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: not the a-hole. This is weird. Very weird. Very weird. Yeah.
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: I would wonder what your brother told your family to
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: get them all like, you're crazy. Blah, blah, blah. I
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: know your type. But that is the end of that story.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: Good luck with your fringed couch. Hey, it's Dakota, your
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: favorite host who's always on track here. And we're going
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: to get back to the stories in three minutes after
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: these ads from our sponsors.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: My stepmother demanded I call her mom the day after
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: the wedding. No. My stepmother, 39 female, keeps calling me,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: 19 female, hers and trying to get under my mom's,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: 38 female, skin by acting like she's more of a
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: mom than my mom is. Let me give you some
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: relevant background and other info. Some of it might seem unrelated,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: but trust me, it is. So my parents, 38 female,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: 39 male, had me, 19 female, together and they weren't
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: married or anything. My mom never wanted marriage, and she
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: has told me the worst period of her life was
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: during her parents' divorce, and they were made miserable trying
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: to split their lives and fighting over every little thing
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: they had, including her and her brother and sister. It
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: took three years for the divorce to be over and
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: the divorce period made my mom see marriage as something
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: to avoid. But my dad wanted to get married and
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: he pressured my mom for years to marry him. I
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: was three when they broke up because he was no
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: longer okay with not being married. He met my stepmother,
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: 39 female, when I was five. They met and got
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: married within four months of meeting. Whoa.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: Within four months? That might be a little quick now
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: that I'm thinking about it. What is that, like half
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: of a baby?
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: Not even. Almost half.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Less than 50% baby and we get married.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: They met and got married within four months of meeting
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: and he introduced me to her a week after they
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: started dating. I remember her and my mom meeting after
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: he was dating her less than a month and she
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: was already acting territorial over me. My stepmother asked me
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: to call her mom the day after the wedding, and
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to. I told my mom about it,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: and she spoke to my dad. After that, my stepmother
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: told my mom she must be very insecure and weak
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: as a mother to have a problem with me calling
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: her mom.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: It's like, also, wake up, lady. I don't want to
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: call you mom.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from throwaway... And if you
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: And we are here to give you some good advice, goofily.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: But guess what?
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: We don't have all the answers. We don't want to
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: tell you what we would do, but let us know
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says,
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: I don't exactly know what my mom said because I
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: was at my dad's house when my stepmother confronted mom
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: over the phone. But my stepmother denied pressuring me when
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: she talked next. And she told my mom to like
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: it or not, but I had two mommies now. Ew,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: what a freak. My stepmother started calling me hers slash
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: her daughter all the time at that point. I told
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: her I didn't like it three different times, and she
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: told me that was my mom talking, not me.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, right.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Yes. I am my mother now. Right.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: My dad told me that it showed my stepmother loved
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: me and I should be happy she wanted me as
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: her little girl too. He said I was very special
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: to them and I should make more of an effort
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: to love her back. My stepmother started saying stuff to
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: get under my mom's skin whenever I had a school
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: play or a recital or anything where parents normally show.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: I heard a lot of it, but there were things
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: I missed that I am now aware of. She brought
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: up the fact that mom wouldn't ever get married and
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: how I deserve to be raised by married parents and
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: I would be better off with her and dad.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, this isn't screaming insane person you married too
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: fast who's obsessed with one-upping the mother of your child.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: This isn't screaming that whatsoever. This isn't screaming that at
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: the top of its lungs from the top of some
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: kind of mountain, you know? You can see it in
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: your mind.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 2: See it in your mind.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: Just the guy on top of the mountain going, everything's normal!
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: I'm a normal person!
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: Person, person, person. That was the echo in that.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, your stepmom's a freak. A freak. Not even the
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: cool kind, like just the weird, like everyone goes, God,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: we can breathe a little easier now that she's not
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: in the room anymore. Yeah. Just an oppressive aura of
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: like discomfort to everyone around her.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: She even said that being married to dad made her
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: more my mom than mom giving birth and raising me did.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: You're crazy. You're crazy. That's not how that works.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: She used to say that her daughter would one day
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: get married because of the example her real parents set.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: When my stepmother got pregnant with my half brother a
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: couple of years after they got married... She said I
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: would never ever say half-sibling because they were my real
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: family and the baby was my real sibling. When I
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: did say half, she accused mom of being the reason
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: even though two of my friends said half-sibling for their
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: half-siblings and I knew it was because they had a
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: different mom or dad. After my stepmother became a mom
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: for real, she has five kids with my dad. Dang,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: they got busy.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: Why would he have five kids with this woman?
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: She talked about how giving me siblings brought us closer
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: together and how that bonded me to her as a
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: mom so much. She called us all her babies, and
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: she called my mom the bitter ex-baby mama who didn't
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: know how to give me a family.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you're kind of, you're halfway there. You're right
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: in the way that you say, yeah, now that you
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: have more siblings that are half siblings, but that doesn't
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: mean they have to be treated half as good. They
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: can just be your siblings, but... You're an insane lunatic
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: who is doing everything they can to make me want
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: to reject you.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's weird. She would also race to introduce herself
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: to my teachers first and would try to push mom
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: out of the way. Mom never fought back in front
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: of me, but apparently she did say some stuff back
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: when I wasn't around, like how my stepmother was jealous
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: that she gave dad his first child and how they
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 2: would still be together if she wanted marriage and maybe
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: he was only with her for the sake of being married.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: Dang. And she cooked her. She cooked her on. Yeah.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: She cooked her sous vide.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: That is a big burn. You're going to need a
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: bunch of aloe for that burn.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's right on the money.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: She also brought up the fact that I was her
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: twin and that my stepmother never got a child who
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: looked like her.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: I was 13 when I started to push back more
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: against my stepmother. She told me it was crazy for
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: her to be in my life for that long and
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: for me to say... she hadn't earned the right to
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: call me her daughter and that she hadn't earned the
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: role of mom in all those years. She would bring
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: up everything she did and she would really hammer on
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: the point that she married dad when my mom wouldn't.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: I told her I didn't care. I even retaliated over
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: the sibling thing and told her I would just call
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: myself an only child since mom was the parent who
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: mattered more. I also told her that no matter how
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: much she lied and tried to force it, my half-siblings
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: would never be my full siblings.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like a cautionary tale on how not
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: to be a stepparent.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's honestly very alarming for her to be like, Oh, yeah,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: I'm your mom now, and you have no relation to
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: your bio mom. I am mom, and she is horrible.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: You should cut all contact and be with me, because
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: I am sweet and lovely and will love you forever
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 2: and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like, yeah, clearly this person doesn't have
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: a complex or anything, and she's just a well-adjusted adult.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: She's clearly intimidated.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: Also, like, what's up with your dad marrying this woman
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: in four months, and she's clearly... clearly like just obsessed
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 1: with the fact that your dad married her and that
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 1: i don't know that makes her like the ultimate winner
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: and now she's your mom because they're married and have
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: five kids it's like so and it's like yeah your
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: mom had the sickest burn is like she's probably just
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: crazy because she knows that if i wanted to get
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: married your dad would be married to me.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: She's like what She's right.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: She's like the most deep-seated insecurity of all time.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: True.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: Which is weird. Did your dad just marry someone because
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: he's like, I gotta be married. So dumb. Yeah. And
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: then had five kids. So dumb. So dumb.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: A few years later, I told dad I wanted to
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: live with my mom full time and he relented because
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: it was not great for my half siblings to live
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: with me there. But he and I continued to see
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: each other. But now that I'm in college, my stepmother
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: is forcing crap even worse. She is still pushing the
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: narrative that I'm hers and trying to push mom out.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: I told her not to come to anything and I
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: wanted my real mom there. But she's doing this to
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: solely try and drive my mom crazy. My mom does
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: her best to ignore her but it pisses me off
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: and I'm disappointed my dad won't do more. I want
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: to know what I can do. I'll be honest with
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: everyone as well since it might get asked. I don't
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: love my stepmother. I'm not appreciative of everything she did
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: for me. She isn't someone important to me who improved
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: my life. Her being in my life has been nothing
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: but a negative. I truthfully see, I would say like,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: just tell her that. But the thing is, she's just
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 2: going to be like, that's your mom talking. I'll be like, actually,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: it's not. These are all my original thoughts. Not everything
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: goes through my mom. And I'm not just a speaker
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: for my mom. I am speaking for myself. And on
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: behalf of me and myself, I don't like you. And
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: I never will. And that's gonna cut her deep.
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: Like honestly not everyone can do what I'm gonna say
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 1: and I personally hate it but you can basically just
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: go silent treatment yeah and like you can just talk
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: to her like just don't give her any energy just
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: normal calm don't have to repeat yourself don't even have
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: to argue if she pushes back you just go okay.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: Just like gray rock her.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: Just say, okay, got it. Don't go out of your
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: way to be like rude or antagonistic or make any
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: interactions like harder than they already are. Just like coast
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: through it, get through it with as little energy spent
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: as possible. And it will drive her insane. Yeah. But honestly,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: none of this matters once you can just leave. Once
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: you're out of there, none of this matters. And that's
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: the end of this story.