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Why Prepare to Say "Goodbye" Before You Say "Hello" · Get Real Rae... Real Business & Life Advice

• 0:00
  Speaker: Hey, this is Rae with Get Real Rae,
• 0:02
  Speaker: a place and space for life and business
• 0:03
  Speaker: tips from this creative soul to hopefully inspire
• 0:05
  Speaker: you on your journey, or at the very
• 0:07
  Speaker: least provide you with some laughs.
• 0:09
  Speaker: And so let's get real.
• 0:12
  Speaker: Let's get real about goodbyes.
• 0:16
  Speaker: OK.
• 0:17
  Speaker: Craving real advice.
• 0:19
  Speaker: Tired of feeling like every other small business
• 0:22
  Speaker: owner or solopreneur is raking in the dough
• 0:24
  Speaker: while you just seem to be raking?
• 0:27
  Speaker: Secretly looking for a reminder that starting your
• 0:30
  Speaker: own business is not as glamorous as others
• 0:32
  Speaker: make it look.
• 0:33
  Speaker: Whether you're looking to change the game in
• 0:36
  Speaker: your relationships at home or at the workplace,
• 0:39
  Speaker: you've come to the right place.
• 0:41
  Speaker: My name is Rae.
• 0:41
  Speaker: I went from corporate America to running my
• 0:43
  Speaker: own small business to becoming a solopreneur.
• 0:46
  Speaker: I'm a professional actor and dare we say
• 0:49
  Speaker: a professional busybody because this body is about
• 0:52
  Speaker: to be busy all up in your biz.
• 0:54
  Speaker: So let's get real.
• 0:56
  Speaker: So I started my first business officially in
• 1:05
  Speaker: 2006.
• 1:08
  Speaker: I did have a brand or business before
• 1:11
  Speaker: then.
• 1:12
  Speaker: However, I didn't file any paperwork with the
• 1:15
  Speaker: state.
• 1:15
  Speaker: I was just like, I've got a business.
• 1:18
  Speaker: And I don't think it even occurred to
• 1:19
  Speaker: me that there were like these whole legal
• 1:23
  Speaker: steps to take.
• 1:25
  Speaker: And when I started my business, I started
• 1:28
  Speaker: it as an outlet for myself creatively because
• 1:32
  Speaker: I was an actor in New York City
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  Speaker: and I wasn't booking the roles that I
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  Speaker: wanted to be booking.
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  Speaker: I was tired of the slow pay projects.
• 1:43
  Speaker: And I was just like, you know what?
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  Speaker: I want to be able to create shows
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  Speaker: for me.
• 1:47
  Speaker: Now, renting space in New York City to
• 1:50
  Speaker: perform in is not cheap.
• 1:53
  Speaker: And at the time, there also were not
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  Speaker: a whole lot of theaters to rent, per
• 2:01
  Speaker: se.
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  Speaker: Even today, there's fewer places for performance artists
• 2:06
  Speaker: to actually be able to perform their art.
• 2:10
  Speaker: But there were some some venues where anyone
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  Speaker: who had the money and, you know, when
• 2:18
  Speaker: you don't have a lot of money, it
• 2:19
  Speaker: feels like a lot of money.
• 2:20
  Speaker: But when you look at the grand scheme
• 2:22
  Speaker: of things, it was like, OK, so what?
• 2:23
  Speaker: They wanted $100, $150.
• 2:25
  Speaker: They wanted $300, like whatever.
• 2:28
  Speaker: So anyone who had the money could go
• 2:29
  Speaker: ahead and rent space and they would put
• 2:31
  Speaker: you on the calendar and you had to
• 2:34
  Speaker: hustle to get an audience.
• 2:38
  Speaker: So when you're renting space, this is beyond
• 2:41
  Speaker: just being like, hey, friends and family, come
• 2:44
  Speaker: and support me.
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  Speaker: Come see my show.
• 2:46
  Speaker: Come buy my cookies.
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  Speaker: Especially if you are living somewhere or performing
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  Speaker: somewhere or doing your craft somewhere where you
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  Speaker: don't have a ton of friends and family.
• 2:58
  Speaker: Right.
• 2:58
  Speaker: So for me, I had actually relocated to
• 3:01
  Speaker: New York from California and I did not
• 3:05
  Speaker: have any family there.
• 3:07
  Speaker: And I had some friends, but they weren't
• 3:09
  Speaker: like lifelong friends because I'd only been in
• 3:11
  Speaker: New York for a few years.
• 3:14
  Speaker: When I first moved to New York, I
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  Speaker: did not plan on doing acting.
• 3:19
  Speaker: I was like, I'm done with acting.
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  Speaker: I'm so over it.
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  Speaker: It's all a scam and a sham.
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  Speaker: I can't take it no more.
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  Speaker: I'm going to focus on fashion design.
• 3:28
  Speaker: Another scam and a sham.
• 3:30
  Speaker: But I did return to acting after a
• 3:33
  Speaker: few years.
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  Speaker: And I did.
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  Speaker: I did the rounds.
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  Speaker: I performed in other people's small shows, doing
• 3:40
  Speaker: published plays and all these things.
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  Speaker: I think I think I did my tour.
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  Speaker: I'm like, I got to think about that.
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  Speaker: I think I did this national tour before
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  Speaker: I started my business.
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  Speaker: I think I did.
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  Speaker: It kind of makes sense in my brain.
• 4:02
  Speaker: And so I started this business, but there
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  Speaker: wasn't a specific play where I said I
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  Speaker: have the money to buy the rights to
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  Speaker: that play and I have the money in
• 4:16
  Speaker: order to get the cast, the crew to
• 4:18
  Speaker: make it all happen.
• 4:20
  Speaker: Right.
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  Speaker: Because though it seems really simple.
• 4:23
  Speaker: Right.
• 4:24
  Speaker: People on YouTube are like start your business
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  Speaker: today.
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  Speaker: You can start your own Shopify store, your
• 4:30
  Speaker: own Etsy, your own Amazon, whatever.
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  Speaker: And all you need to do is take
• 4:36
  Speaker: this course, follow this advice and you'll boom,
• 4:38
  Speaker: bang, have it in no time.
• 4:40
  Speaker: I remember signing up for Marie Forleo's copywriting
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  Speaker: thing, business.
• 4:49
  Speaker: Wait, I think I signed up for her
• 4:50
  Speaker: business program.
• 4:52
  Speaker: And the copywriting was something else that they
• 4:54
  Speaker: were trying to push on us.
• 4:55
  Speaker: OK, so it's business.
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  Speaker: And I just remember being like, this isn't
• 5:00
  Speaker: what I was expecting.
• 5:02
  Speaker: Well, what was I expecting?
• 5:06
  Speaker: There were lots of PDFs of things to
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  Speaker: read and different modules where you listen to
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  Speaker: her explain something that you're supposed to go
• 5:16
  Speaker: out and do it.
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  Speaker: And it's really great to explain something, but.
• 5:21
  Speaker: It's not as it's it's takes time to
• 5:26
  Speaker: go out and do the things that are
• 5:28
  Speaker: being explained to you, right?
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  Speaker: Like you just need to have a great
• 5:32
  Speaker: web page.
• 5:33
  Speaker: And when you have a great web page,
• 5:34
  Speaker: you really need to think about the color
• 5:35
  Speaker: you're using, the font you're using and the
• 5:38
  Speaker: text you're using.
• 5:39
  Speaker: And you also need to spend some time
• 5:40
  Speaker: thinking about who your perfect avatar is.
• 5:43
  Speaker: And so really think about who that ideal
• 5:45
  Speaker: customer is.
• 5:46
  Speaker: Where are they hanging out?
• 5:47
  Speaker: What are they drinking?
• 5:48
  Speaker: What are their likes, dislikes?
• 5:50
  Speaker: How do they like the shop?
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  Speaker: What kind of money are they making?
• 5:53
  Speaker: And once you know all that, then you
• 5:55
  Speaker: can design your web page in order to
• 5:58
  Speaker: attract that kind of person.
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  Speaker: And then you can make sure you pick
• 6:01
  Speaker: the kind of colors and font that that
• 6:03
  Speaker: kind of person will like.
• 6:04
  Speaker: And then you can focus on marketing to
• 6:06
  Speaker: that person by setting up a newsletter and
• 6:09
  Speaker: then having people sign up for your email
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  Speaker: newsletter.
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  Speaker: And then once you have all these people
• 6:14
  Speaker: signed up for your email newsletter, then you
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  Speaker: can go ahead and launch a product because
• 6:19
  Speaker: you'll have all these fans who've been eagerly
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  Speaker: waiting for you to just deliver whatever it
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  Speaker: is you want to deliver.
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  Speaker: That's a lot.
• 6:26
  Speaker: It is a lot.
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  Speaker: And so I have to take pause and
• 6:31
  Speaker: remind myself every time I see somebody who's
• 6:34
  Speaker: kind of promising to give me the key
• 6:37
  Speaker: to solve all of my problems, I'm like,
• 6:38
  Speaker: OK, what they are saying may have truth
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  Speaker: to it.
• 6:44
  Speaker: However, it's not going to be a quick
• 6:47
  Speaker: process.
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  Speaker: It's not going to be easy breezy because
• 6:50
  Speaker: what's missing in that example that I just
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  Speaker: gave you?
• 6:54
  Speaker: Well, you have to make sure that you
• 6:56
  Speaker: set up a website and you have to
• 6:59
  Speaker: have the money in order to set up
• 7:01
  Speaker: the website.
• 7:02
  Speaker: If you're not good at computer things or
• 7:05
  Speaker: technology, then you are going to need to
• 7:09
  Speaker: use something like Squarespace, where it's just software
• 7:12
  Speaker: already like Wix.
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  Speaker: You can pick a template and then fill
• 7:19
  Speaker: in your own information, adjust some colors and
• 7:21
  Speaker: you're like, oh, I did it.
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  Speaker: That also has a monthly fee.
• 7:26
  Speaker: If you have a site where you're using
• 7:27
  Speaker: the free version like Wix does, then you
• 7:30
  Speaker: have Wix at the bottom of your site
• 7:32
  Speaker: or GoDaddy at the bottom of your site.
• 7:34
  Speaker: GoDaddy is notorious for having you pay money
• 7:38
  Speaker: to add on different features.
• 7:40
  Speaker: So with the name of another company on
• 7:42
  Speaker: your site, you do look less official.
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  Speaker: It's a given.
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  Speaker: So that is more money.
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  Speaker: Then you also have to think about just
• 7:51
  Speaker: because you found the perfect name for your
• 7:52
  Speaker: business.
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  Speaker: Is there another business out there with that
• 7:54
  Speaker: name or something similar?
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  Speaker: Because lo and behold, if people mistype or
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  Speaker: they're looking for you and the name is
• 8:03
  Speaker: too similar, then they might not find you.
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  Speaker: They might find someone else's site.
• 8:07
  Speaker: And so that becomes a problem as well,
• 8:09
  Speaker: even though you've done all the work to
• 8:10
  Speaker: find the perfect avatar.
• 8:12
  Speaker: Maybe your ideal customer is in yoga classes
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  Speaker: daily and they stop off at Starbucks on
• 8:21
  Speaker: their way home and they subscribe to some
• 8:27
  Speaker: like HelloFresh plan or something.
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  Speaker: Right.
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  Speaker: Great.
• 8:32
  Speaker: Amazing.
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  Speaker: So how are you reaching them?
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  Speaker: Are you advertising through HelloFresh?
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  Speaker: Are you going to stand outside Starbucks and
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  Speaker: attack everybody who comes through the Starbucks door
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  Speaker: wearing yoga pants?
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  Speaker: Why should they talk to you?
• 8:46
  Speaker: Do you have the money to actually somehow
• 8:48
  Speaker: advertise in Starbucks, through Starbucks?
• 8:52
  Speaker: Probably not.
• 8:53
  Speaker: If you're starting out this business and you
• 8:55
  Speaker: need to take one of these courses in
• 8:57
  Speaker: order to know how to get your business
• 8:58
  Speaker: going.
• 8:59
  Speaker: So all this information is kind of nice,
• 9:02
  Speaker: but also kind of not helpful.
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  Speaker: Not helpful.
• 9:08
  Speaker: So lo and behold, I started my business.
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  Speaker: I did not have the money in order
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  Speaker: to do the production in my mind, the
• 9:17
  Speaker: productions in my mind.
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  Speaker: So, OK, I can't do theater.
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  Speaker: I need a cast.
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  Speaker: I need a crew.
• 9:22
  Speaker: I can't afford theater right now.
• 9:24
  Speaker: What about dance?
• 9:25
  Speaker: I dance.
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  Speaker: I don't just do theater.
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  Speaker: I can dance and I don't have to
• 9:31
  Speaker: have a big cast or crew for dance.
• 9:34
  Speaker: And then I was like, well, I don't
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  Speaker: even have I don't have like a dance.
• 9:45
  Speaker: Group dance team.
• 9:47
  Speaker: Now I've got to find dancers.
• 9:48
  Speaker: Well, what else can I do?
• 9:49
  Speaker: What can I do that's the quickest, the
• 9:51
  Speaker: fastest, the cheapest?
• 9:51
  Speaker: Just get it going.
• 9:53
  Speaker: And my boyfriend at the time, who later
• 9:56
  Speaker: became my husband and is now my ex
• 9:58
  Speaker: -husband, he was really into poetry and he
• 10:03
  Speaker: always wanted to be able to read poetry
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  Speaker: out loud.
• 10:06
  Speaker: And I love poetry, too.
• 10:08
  Speaker: So I was like, I'm going to make
• 10:11
  Speaker: a poetry show.
• 10:13
  Speaker: And I was really proud of the show
• 10:14
  Speaker: that I created.
• 10:14
  Speaker: I ran it for a year.
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  Speaker: It lost money, most shows.
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  Speaker: Why?
• 10:19
  Speaker: Because people in New York City love slams.
• 10:23
  Speaker: They don't want poetry.
• 10:24
  Speaker: They want a slam, a poetry slam where
• 10:27
  Speaker: someone comes up to the mic and says
• 10:28
  Speaker: all these things and makes a rhyme.
• 10:31
  Speaker: And then they go, I don't like that
• 10:40
  Speaker: kind of poetry art form.
• 10:44
  Speaker: I had to, because it could just be
• 10:47
  Speaker: me and my boyfriend on stage.
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  Speaker: That's not going to allow me to possibly
• 10:53
  Speaker: make back the $200 I spent to create
• 10:56
  Speaker: the show.
• 10:57
  Speaker: So I put out casting notices looking for
• 11:02
  Speaker: people who write poetry and poets.
• 11:04
  Speaker: It's so funny because to this day, so
• 11:07
  Speaker: here we are some 20 years later and
• 11:09
  Speaker: I can see some of the people who
• 11:12
  Speaker: did our show are still active in the
• 11:16
  Speaker: poetry world and they've published books.
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  Speaker: And that's that's really cool to see.
• 11:21
  Speaker: But I only ran that show for a
• 11:23
  Speaker: year and the venue that I was in,
• 11:29
  Speaker: I'm not going to get into that.
• 11:31
  Speaker: So my boyfriend was just like, well, I
• 11:34
  Speaker: know it hasn't been making money, but I
• 11:36
  Speaker: can I what if I help pay for
• 11:38
  Speaker: it?
• 11:38
  Speaker: And I was like, no, I think it's
• 11:41
  Speaker: I think it's done.
• 11:43
  Speaker: Right.
• 11:44
  Speaker: So you've got to know when to say
• 11:46
  Speaker: goodbye to something, especially if it's costing you
• 11:49
  Speaker: more time, energy, money.
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  Speaker: And it's not even like what you what
• 11:53
  Speaker: you really wanted.
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  Speaker: It's not your path, your dream.
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  Speaker: I was just it was supposed to be
• 11:58
  Speaker: a one time gift.
• 11:59
  Speaker: And it wound up being like, I don't
• 12:01
  Speaker: know, at least a dozen shows.
• 12:04
  Speaker: I then wound up started producing a variety
• 12:07
  Speaker: shows.
• 12:11
  Speaker: And I think I did do a one,
• 12:14
  Speaker: a 24 hour play fest.
• 12:16
  Speaker: I produced some radio podcasts.
• 12:20
  Speaker: So I started to get closer and closer
• 12:22
  Speaker: to what I wanted, which is theater for
• 12:25
  Speaker: me.
• 12:27
  Speaker: Only I want to be able to spend
• 12:29
  Speaker: time getting scripts.
• 12:31
  Speaker: And I also want to make sure that
• 12:33
  Speaker: was teaming up with quality actors.
• 12:34
  Speaker: But how do we make sure that we
• 12:36
  Speaker: are getting seen?
• 12:36
  Speaker: Because just producing a show in the park
• 12:39
  Speaker: because the park permit is much cheaper than
• 12:41
  Speaker: the theater permit is.
• 12:44
  Speaker: It's it's it's hot outside and people don't
• 12:48
  Speaker: have a place to sit.
• 12:49
  Speaker: And sometimes people will sit and watch the
• 12:50
  Speaker: free theater and sometimes they will donate and
• 12:53
  Speaker: sometimes they don't.
• 12:54
  Speaker: So it's not exactly a long term strategy.
• 12:58
  Speaker: But with the doing the short play fest,
• 13:03
  Speaker: at least we can get some bodies for
• 13:04
  Speaker: one night.
• 13:05
  Speaker: I did a lot of things with the
• 13:07
  Speaker: early days of my business.
• 13:09
  Speaker: And mind you, I just closed this business.
• 13:13
  Speaker: So, yes, it started with this focus of
• 13:17
  Speaker: doing lots of theater.
• 13:18
  Speaker: Didn't do all the theater that I wanted.
• 13:20
  Speaker: Did develop quite a reputation for variety shows
• 13:24
  Speaker: and dance shows.
• 13:24
  Speaker: And that I was very proud of.
• 13:26
  Speaker: So it was really bittersweet to have to
• 13:28
  Speaker: close this business.
• 13:30
  Speaker: Why did I have to say goodbye?
• 13:31
  Speaker: Well, paying the taxes for New York just
• 13:34
  Speaker: didn't make sense anymore.
• 13:36
  Speaker: Not living in New York right now.
• 13:39
  Speaker: And it's costing me more money than it's
• 13:43
  Speaker: worth.
• 13:43
  Speaker: And also not producing theater shows in New
• 13:47
  Speaker: York.
• 13:47
  Speaker: So that business, what it was designed to
• 13:51
  Speaker: do, it wasn't doing.
• 13:53
  Speaker: With that being said, when you've put your
• 13:58
  Speaker: heart and soul into something for that long,
• 14:00
  Speaker: whether it be a job, a business, a
• 14:04
  Speaker: relationship, a marriage, it can definitely, it definitely
• 14:09
  Speaker: hurt a little to say goodbye.
• 14:11
  Speaker: But I finally did it.
• 14:13
  Speaker: I finally closed that business.
• 14:14
  Speaker: Now, I do have another business registered in
• 14:18
  Speaker: another state where the taxes just make more
• 14:21
  Speaker: sense for me.
• 14:23
  Speaker: And I've known for a while it was
• 14:24
  Speaker: a smart thing to do.
• 14:25
  Speaker: But I was partly I was just busy
• 14:29
  Speaker: doing other things.
• 14:30
  Speaker: But I was also kind of like, oh,
• 14:31
  Speaker: do I really have 20 years?
• 14:34
  Speaker: But I said goodbye.
• 14:35
  Speaker: Maybe there's something with 20 years with me,
• 14:39
  Speaker: because my relationship with my ex lasted 20
• 14:42
  Speaker: years and said goodbye.
• 14:45
  Speaker: The marriage didn't last 20 years.
• 14:46
  Speaker: The marriage lasted like nine years or something.
• 14:48
  Speaker: But yeah, my time in New York, about
• 14:53
  Speaker: 20 years.
• 14:53
  Speaker: So 20, it's a good number, you guys.
• 14:56
  Speaker: I don't know.
• 14:57
  Speaker: Hmm.
• 14:58
  Speaker: How about you?
• 14:59
  Speaker: Was your life exciting when you were in
• 15:00
  Speaker: your 20s?
• 15:02
  Speaker: I don't know.
• 15:02
  Speaker: Things just seemed kind of exciting.
• 15:04
  Speaker: And now it's kind of like, oh, well,
• 15:07
  Speaker: it's another day.
• 15:08
  Speaker: But I am grateful to have another day.
• 15:10
  Speaker: And I'm very grateful to be able to
• 15:11
  Speaker: say goodbyes and to feel good about those
• 15:14
  Speaker: goodbyes because we don't always get an opportunity
• 15:17
  Speaker: to actually end things on our own terms.
• 15:21
  Speaker: I, you know, my business, Roller Coaster, there
• 15:24
  Speaker: were financially wonderful times and then financially devastating
• 15:29
  Speaker: times.
• 15:30
  Speaker: And a lot of businesses don't even make
• 15:32
  Speaker: it past two years, especially in the restaurant
• 15:35
  Speaker: industry.
• 15:36
  Speaker: Now, I do have a podcast currently.
• 15:40
  Speaker: And in the podcast world, I kind of
• 15:43
  Speaker: have taken a little pause from uploading episodes
• 15:47
  Speaker: because I was trying to focus on my
• 15:48
  Speaker: YouTube and trying to get my business out
• 15:51
  Speaker: of the toilet and be able to pay
• 15:52
  Speaker: my bills.
• 15:55
  Speaker: So making those podcast episodes, it kind of
• 15:58
  Speaker: fell to the wayside.
• 15:59
  Speaker: And I think there may have been two
• 16:01
  Speaker: months where I didn't upload an episode.
• 16:04
  Speaker: I'm thinking, oh, should I do it?
• 16:06
  Speaker: But I did find I had something to
• 16:07
  Speaker: say, so I uploaded that episode.
• 16:10
  Speaker: And then I got a little alert like,
• 16:12
  Speaker: yeah, you finally have, you know, put up
• 16:15
  Speaker: 10 episodes and you've made it more than
• 16:18
  Speaker: most podcasts.
• 16:20
  Speaker: And I did the research and most podcasts
• 16:22
  Speaker: don't last.
• 16:23
  Speaker: 10 episodes don't last past six months.
• 16:26
  Speaker: I was like, whoa, that's so crazy.
• 16:28
  Speaker: So the success rate of podcasting is even
• 16:32
  Speaker: lower than the success rate of starting a
• 16:34
  Speaker: business.
• 16:35
  Speaker: And the success rate of YouTube is also
• 16:38
  Speaker: pretty low because people start channels and then
• 16:41
  Speaker: they are like, no one's watching and then
• 16:42
  Speaker: abandon them rather quickly.
• 16:44
  Speaker: All of these things take time, energy and
• 16:49
  Speaker: in a way, money.
• 16:50
  Speaker: Even though I am not spending a lot
• 16:55
  Speaker: of money on my podcast, I do have
• 16:57
  Speaker: to have the platform in order to post
• 16:59
  Speaker: the podcast.
• 17:00
  Speaker: I think when I did my first podcast
• 17:02
  Speaker: under the business that I closed, I just
• 17:04
  Speaker: had like an RSS feed and I had
• 17:06
  Speaker: to submit things to Apple's and whoever else.
• 17:11
  Speaker: Now I use Buzzsprout, which I love because
• 17:13
  Speaker: there's way more podcasting platforms out there.
• 17:17
  Speaker: And so with this particular software, I can
• 17:20
  Speaker: upload my episode with graphics and then they
• 17:23
  Speaker: will send it out to all the different
• 17:25
  Speaker: platforms that allow people to listen to podcasts.
• 17:28
  Speaker: And it also helps me reach audiences, which
• 17:31
  Speaker: I just did not have that ability when
• 17:34
  Speaker: I first started the efforts to distribute things
• 17:38
  Speaker: in an audio format.
• 17:42
  Speaker: So saying goodbyes.
• 17:44
  Speaker: Well, saying goodbye in the relationship world can
• 17:47
  Speaker: be difficult.
• 17:50
  Speaker: I think I communicate with my ex maybe
• 17:52
  Speaker: two or three times a year.
• 17:55
  Speaker: And I've often thought if I was in
• 17:58
  Speaker: a relationship right now, would I even respond
• 18:01
  Speaker: to this text message or would I even
• 18:04
  Speaker: think to text him?
• 18:05
  Speaker: Because I heard the report on the news
• 18:08
  Speaker: was that the weather is really bad and
• 18:10
  Speaker: people are going to be struggling.
• 18:12
  Speaker: And so there's just this part of me
• 18:13
  Speaker: that thinks back like, oh, my gosh, is
• 18:15
  Speaker: he going to be OK?
• 18:17
  Speaker: Because I know that that man will try
• 18:19
  Speaker: to go out there in a snow and
• 18:20
  Speaker: blizzard and then slip and fall.
• 18:22
  Speaker: He's done it before.
• 18:24
  Speaker: Oh, my goodness.
• 18:25
  Speaker: But then I have to remind myself, well,
• 18:28
  Speaker: you said goodbye.
• 18:30
  Speaker: But what does goodbye mean?
• 18:32
  Speaker: Goodbye means I'm OK with the way that
• 18:38
  Speaker: things ended.
• 18:39
  Speaker: And goodbye means I don't owe anyone anything
• 18:45
  Speaker: and no one owes me anything.
• 18:47
  Speaker: Same with that business.
• 18:49
  Speaker: I'm OK.
• 18:51
  Speaker: I'm OK.
• 18:52
  Speaker: And so if you are someone who is
• 18:54
  Speaker: working at a job and that job has
• 18:58
  Speaker: ended and you didn't plan on an ending
• 19:03
  Speaker: that way, it can feel really jarring, really
• 19:06
  Speaker: hard because you weren't ready to say goodbye.
• 19:10
  Speaker: One thing, you know, whatever your opinion is
• 19:14
  Speaker: on Will Smith, that's that's your opinion.
• 19:16
  Speaker: But one thing that he said that I
• 19:19
  Speaker: like, this is something he said before he
• 19:21
  Speaker: went around slapping people at a world shows,
• 19:23
  Speaker: is he commented on how when his father
• 19:27
  Speaker: was passing, he made sure to say, I
• 19:31
  Speaker: love you every single day.
• 19:33
  Speaker: He and his father had had a tumultuous
• 19:34
  Speaker: relationship, and it wasn't until he was adult
• 19:36
  Speaker: where he reconnected with him and wanted to
• 19:44
  Speaker: learn about his father.
• 19:46
  Speaker: And so as his father was ill and
• 19:48
  Speaker: dying, he made a point to visit him
• 19:52
  Speaker: daily at the hospital and just spent a
• 19:54
  Speaker: lot of time learning about his father's life,
• 19:56
  Speaker: his father, his history.
• 19:58
  Speaker: And he also made sure that every time
• 19:59
  Speaker: he left the hospital, he said, I love
• 20:02
  Speaker: you and goodbye, because his feeling was you
• 20:07
  Speaker: never really know when your last goodbye will
• 20:09
  Speaker: be.
• 20:09
  Speaker: You never really know if you will have
• 20:11
  Speaker: an opportunity to end things the way you
• 20:14
  Speaker: want.
• 20:14
  Speaker: So why not do it now?
• 20:18
  Speaker: Why assume that there's going to be another
• 20:20
  Speaker: opportunity?
• 20:23
  Speaker: And this is something it might seem a
• 20:27
  Speaker: little extreme at work to be like, I
• 20:28
  Speaker: love you guys.
• 20:29
  Speaker: I love my team.
• 20:30
  Speaker: Goodbye.
• 20:31
  Speaker: But you may just take a moment instead
• 20:34
  Speaker: of rushing out the door and saying see
• 20:36
  Speaker: you tomorrow.
• 20:36
  Speaker: Maybe just take a moment to be like,
• 20:38
  Speaker: hey, great work, guys.
• 20:40
  Speaker: Have a good night.
• 20:42
  Speaker: Right.
• 20:43
  Speaker: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 20:45
  Speaker: There's nothing wrong with that.
• 20:47
  Speaker: Yeah, because.
• 20:51
  Speaker: You know, we none of us are guaranteed
• 20:53
  Speaker: tomorrow, right?
• 20:55
  Speaker: We could leave work and even though we
• 20:58
  Speaker: still have that job, maybe you just don't
• 21:00
  Speaker: wake up the next day.
• 21:02
  Speaker: I mean, it's not great to think about,
• 21:04
  Speaker: but it's true.
• 21:06
  Speaker: And so got to say, when it comes
• 21:11
  Speaker: to ending relationships, before you get into that
• 21:16
  Speaker: relationship, think about how you're going to end
• 21:19
  Speaker: it before you start that business.
• 21:21
  Speaker: Think about are you going to be OK
• 21:24
  Speaker: when it ends?
• 21:26
  Speaker: Will you have to say goodbye?
• 21:28
  Speaker: And are you going to be OK if
• 21:29
  Speaker: you have to say goodbye?
• 21:30
  Speaker: If it's not on your terms?
• 21:31
  Speaker: Are you going to be up night after
• 21:33
  Speaker: night going, why?
• 21:35
  Speaker: Why didn't it work out?
• 21:36
  Speaker: I wanted that to work so bad.
• 21:38
  Speaker: Why?
• 21:39
  Speaker: Why did they let me go?
• 21:40
  Speaker: I loved that job so much.
• 21:43
  Speaker: It's really important to set yourself up for
• 21:46
  Speaker: success.
• 21:47
  Speaker: So as much as we're talking about productivity,
• 21:49
  Speaker: preparation, another way to set yourself up for
• 21:52
  Speaker: success is to accept that everything in life
• 21:56
  Speaker: has an expiration.
• 22:00
  Speaker: And so just keep in mind that someday
• 22:02
  Speaker: the relationship, whether it's with a human or
• 22:07
  Speaker: with a bit of technology or with a
• 22:10
  Speaker: product or with your business, that relationship is
• 22:12
  Speaker: going to change and you'll have to no
• 22:16
  Speaker: longer interact with it or interact in a
• 22:19
  Speaker: different way.
• 22:20
  Speaker: But basically, just say goodbye.
• 22:22
  Speaker: So I hope you found this somewhat helpful.
• 22:27
  Speaker: I.
• 22:29
  Speaker: I really like that.
• 22:33
  Speaker: I have this opportunity to chat with you.
• 22:38
  Speaker: I know it's kind of a one way
• 22:39
  Speaker: chat, but if you comment in the comments,
• 22:42
  Speaker: it's not one way.
• 22:43
  Speaker: So that's what you need to do is
• 22:44
  Speaker: comment in the comments.
• 22:45
  Speaker: And then then we can be back and
• 22:47
  Speaker: forth.
• 22:48
  Speaker: Yay.
• 22:49
  Speaker: But I love that I have this opportunity
• 22:51
  Speaker: to chat, to share.
• 22:55
  Speaker: And every time I do one of these
• 22:57
  Speaker: videos, I think, when's it going to end?
• 23:00
  Speaker: When will I be ready to say goodbye?
• 23:03
  Speaker: I ain't ready to say goodbye yet, but
• 23:05
  Speaker: I will say until next time.
• 23:07
  Speaker: Thanks for listening.
• 23:09
  Speaker: If you think this podcast would help a
• 23:11
  Speaker: friend, then please feel free to share it
• 23:13
  Speaker: with them.
• 23:14
  Speaker: If you want to check out some more
• 23:16
  Speaker: Real Ray or just see me hang out
• 23:18
  Speaker: with cute dogs, then feel free to visit
• 23:21
  Speaker: me over on YouTube.
• 23:22
  Speaker: Get Real Ray 4273.