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030 - By a Baby's Hand · Miss Billy Married

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  Speaker 1: Chapter thirty of Miss Billy Married. This is a LibriVox recording.
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  Speaker 1: All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
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  Speaker 1: information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
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  Speaker 1: by Phil Schinever, Miss Billy Married by Eleanor H. Porter,
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  Speaker 1: Chapter thirty By a baby's hand. After all, it was
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  Speaker 1: the baby's hand that did it, as was proper and
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  Speaker 1: perhaps to be expected. For surely was it not Bertram
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  Speaker 1: Junior's place to show his parents that he was indeed
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  Speaker 1: no wedge, but a dear and precious tie, binding two loving,
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  Speaker 1: loyal hearts more and more closely together. It would seem,
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  Speaker 1: indeed that Bertram Junior thought so, perhaps, and very bravely
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  Speaker 1: he set about it. Though to carry out his purpose
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  Speaker 1: he had to turn his steps into an unfamiliar way,
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  Speaker 1: a way of pain and weariness and danger. It was
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  Speaker 1: Arkwright who told Bertram that the baby was very sick,
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  Speaker 1: and that Billy wanted him. Bertram went home at once
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  Speaker 1: to find a distracted, white faced Billy and a twisted,
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  Speaker 1: pain racked little creature, who, it was almost impossible to
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  Speaker 1: believe was the happy, laughing baby boy he had left
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  Speaker 1: that morning for the next two weeks. Nothing was thought
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  Speaker 1: of in the silent old Beacon Street house but the
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  Speaker 1: tiny little life hovering so near death's door that twice
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  Speaker 1: it appeared to have slipped quite across the threshold. All
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  Speaker 1: through those terrible weeks, it seemed as if Billy neither
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  Speaker 1: ate nor slept, and always at her side, comforting, cheering,
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  Speaker 1: and helping whenever possible was Bertram tender, loving, and marvelously thoughtful.
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  Speaker 1: Then came the turning point when the universe itself appeared
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  Speaker 1: to hang upon a baby's breath. Gradually, almost imperceptibly, came
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  Speaker 1: the fluttering back of the tiny spirit into the longing
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  Speaker 1: arms stretched so far far out to meet it and
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  Speaker 1: hold it, and the father and the mother, looking into
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  Speaker 1: each other's sleepless, dark ringed eyes, knew that their son
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  Speaker 1: was once more theirs to love and cherish. When two
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  Speaker 1: have gone together with a dear one down into the
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  Speaker 1: valley of the shadow of death, and have come back,
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  Speaker 1: either morning or rejoicing, they find a different world from
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  Speaker 1: the one they had left. Things that were great before
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  Speaker 1: seemed small, and some things that were small seem great.
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  Speaker 1: At least Bertram and Billie found their whorld thus changed.
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  Speaker 1: When together, they came back, bringing their son with them.
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  Speaker 1: In the long weeks of convalescence, when the healthy rosiness
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  Speaker 1: stole bit by bit into the baby's waxen face, and
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  Speaker 1: the light of recognition and understanding crept day by day
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  Speaker 1: into the baby's eyes, there was many a quiet hour
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  Speaker 1: for heart to heart talks between the two, who so
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  Speaker 1: anxiously and joyously hailed every rosy tent and fleeting sparkle.
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  Speaker 1: And there was so much to tell, so much to hear,
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  Speaker 1: so much to talk about, and always running through everything
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  Speaker 1: was that golden thread of joy, besides which all else
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  Speaker 1: paled that they had baby and each other, as if
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  Speaker 1: anything else mattered. To be sure, there was Bertram's arm.
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  Speaker 1: Very early in their talks Billy found out about that.
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  Speaker 1: But Billy, with baby getting well, was not to be
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  Speaker 1: daunted even by this nonsense. Darling not paint again. Indeed,
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  Speaker 1: why Bertram, Of course you will, she cried confidently. But Billy,
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  Speaker 1: the doctor said, began Bertram, but Billy would not even
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  Speaker 1: listen very well. What if he did, dear, she interrupted,
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  Speaker 1: What if he did say you couldn't use your right
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  Speaker 1: arm much? Again? Billy's voice broke a little, then quickly
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  Speaker 1: steadied into something very much like triumph. You've got your
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  Speaker 1: left one. Bertram shook his head. I can't paint with that,
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  Speaker 1: Yes you can, insisted Billy firmly. Why Bertram, what do
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  Speaker 1: you suppose you were given two arms for, if not
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  Speaker 1: to fight with both of them? And I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: be ever so much prouder of what you paint now,
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  Speaker 1: because I'll know how splendidly you work to do it. Besides,
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  Speaker 1: there's Baby. As if you weren't ever going to paint
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  Speaker 1: for baby, why Bertram, I'm going to have you paint
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  Speaker 1: Baby one of these days. Think how pleased he'll be
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  Speaker 1: to see it when he grows up. He's nicer anyhow
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  Speaker 1: than any old face of a girl you ever did paint. Why,
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  Speaker 1: Bertram Darling, Of course you're going to paint, and better
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  Speaker 1: than you ever did before. Bertram shook his head again,
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  Speaker 1: but this time he smiled and patted Billy's cheek with
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  Speaker 1: the tip of his forefinger. As if I could, he disclaimed,
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  Speaker 1: But that Happennoon, he went into his long deserted studio
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  Speaker 1: and hunted up his last unfinished picture. For some time
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  Speaker 1: he stood motionless before it, then, with a quick gesture
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  Speaker 1: of determination. He got out his pallet, paints and brushes.
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  Speaker 1: This time, not until he had painted ten a dozen
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  Speaker 1: a score of strokes did he drop his brush with
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  Speaker 1: a sigh and carefully erase the fresh paint on the canvas.
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  Speaker 1: The next day he worked longer, and this time he
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  Speaker 1: allowed a little, a very little, of what he had
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  Speaker 1: done to remain. The third day, Billy herself found him
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  Speaker 1: at his easel. I wonder do you suppose I could,
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  Speaker 1: he asked fearfully. Why, dearest, of course you can, haven't
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  Speaker 1: you noticed? Can't you see how much more you can
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  Speaker 1: do with your left hand now you've had to use it,
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  Speaker 1: you see, And I've seen you do a lot of
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  Speaker 1: things with it lately that you never used to do
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  Speaker 1: at all. And of course the more you do with it,
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  Speaker 1: the more you can I know. But that doesn't mean
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  Speaker 1: that I can paint with it, sighed Bertram, ruefully, eyeing
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  Speaker 1: the tiny bit of fresh color his canvas showed for
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  Speaker 1: his long afternoon's work. You wait and see, nodded Billy
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  Speaker 1: with so overwhelming a cheery confidence that Bertram, looking into
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  Speaker 1: her glowing face, was conscious of a curious throb of exultation,
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  Speaker 1: almost as if already the victory were his. But it
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  Speaker 1: was not always of Bertram's broken arm, nor even of
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  Speaker 1: his work that they talked. Bertram, hanging over the baby's
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  Speaker 1: crib to assure himself that the rosiness and the sparkle
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  Speaker 1: were really growing more apparent every day, used to wonder sometimes,
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  Speaker 1: however in the world, he could have been jealous of
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  Speaker 1: his son. He said as much one day to Billy.
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  Speaker 1: To Billy, it was a most astounding idea. You mean
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  Speaker 1: you were act truly jealous of your own baby? She gasped,
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  Speaker 1: Why Bertram, how could? And was that why you you
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  Speaker 1: sought distraction? And oh, but Bertram, that was all my fault,
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  Speaker 1: she quavered remorsefully. I wouldn't play, nor sing, nor go
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  Speaker 1: to walk nor anything. And I wore horrid frowsy rappers
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  Speaker 1: all the time. And oh, come come, Billy, expostulated the man.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not going to have you talk like that about
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  Speaker 1: my wife. But I did. The book, said I did,
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  Speaker 1: wailed Billy. The book. Good heavens, are there books in
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  Speaker 1: this too, demanded Bertram. Yes, the same one, the the
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  Speaker 1: talks to young wives, nodded Billy. And then, because some
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  Speaker 1: things had grown small to them and some others. Great.
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  Speaker 1: They both laughed happily. But even this was not quite all.
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  Speaker 1: For one evening, very shyly, Billy brought out the chessboard.
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  Speaker 1: Of course I can't play well, she faltered, And maybe
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  Speaker 1: you don't want to play with me at all. But Bertram,
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  Speaker 1: when he found out why she had learned, was very
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  Speaker 1: sure he did want very much to play with her.
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  Speaker 1: Billy did not beat, of course, she did several times experience,
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  Speaker 1: for a few blissful minutes the pleasure of seeing Bertram
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  Speaker 1: sit motionless studying the board because of a move she
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  Speaker 1: had made. And though in the end her king was
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  Speaker 1: ignominiously trapped with not an unguarded square upon which to
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  Speaker 1: set his poor distracted foot, the memory of those blissful
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  Speaker 1: minutes when she had made Bertram stare more than paid
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  Speaker 1: for the final checkmate. By the middle of June, the
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  Speaker 1: baby was well enough to be taken to the beach,
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  Speaker 1: and Bertram was so fortunate as to secure the same
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  Speaker 1: house they had occupied before. Once again, William went down
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  Speaker 1: in Maine for his fishing trip, and the strata was closed.
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  Speaker 1: In the beach house, Bertram was painting industriously with his
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  Speaker 1: left hand. Almost he was beginning to feel Billy's enthusiasm.
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  Speaker 1: Almost he was believing that he was doing good work.
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  Speaker 1: It was not the face of a girl now, it
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  Speaker 1: was the face of a baby, smiling, laughing, even crying,
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  Speaker 1: sometimes at other times just gazing straight into your eyes
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  Speaker 1: with adorable soberness. Bertram still went in to Boston twice a
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  Speaker 1: week for treatment, though the treatment itself had changed. The
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  Speaker 1: Great Surgeon had sent him to still another specialist. There's
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  Speaker 1: a chance, though perhaps a small one, he had said,
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  Speaker 1: I'd like you to try it. Anyway. As the summer advanced,
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  Speaker 1: Bertram thought sometimes that he could see a slight improvement
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  Speaker 1: in his injured arm, but he tried not to think
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  Speaker 1: too much about this. He had thought the same thing before,
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  Speaker 1: only to be disappointed in the end. Besides, he was
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  Speaker 1: undeniably interested just in seeing if he could paint with
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  Speaker 1: his left hand. Billy was sure, and she had said
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  Speaker 1: that she would be prouder than ever of him if
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  Speaker 1: he could, and he would like to make Billy proud.
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  Speaker 1: Then too, there was the baby. He had no idea
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  Speaker 1: a baby could be so interesting to paint. He was
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  Speaker 1: not sure, but that he was going to like to
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  Speaker 1: paint babies, even better than he had liked to paint
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  Speaker 1: his face of a girl that had brought him his
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  Speaker 1: first fame. In September, the family returned to the Stratum.
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  Speaker 1: The move was made a little earlier this year on
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  Speaker 1: account of Alice Gregory's wedding. Alice was to be married
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  Speaker 1: in the pretty living room at the Annex, just where
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  Speaker 1: Billy herself had been married a few short years before,
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  Speaker 1: and Billy had made great plans for the wedding, not
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  Speaker 1: all of which he was able to carry out. For Alice,
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  Speaker 1: like Marie before her, had very strong objections to being
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  Speaker 1: placed under two great obligations. And you see, really anyway,
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  Speaker 1: she told Billy, I owe the whole thing to you,
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  Speaker 1: to begin with, even my husband nonsense. Of course you
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  Speaker 1: don't disputed, Billy, but I do. If it hadn't been
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  Speaker 1: for you, I should never have found him again. And
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  Speaker 1: of course I shouldn't have had this dear little home
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  Speaker 1: to be married in. And I never could have left
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  Speaker 1: mother if she hadn't had Aunt Hannah and the annex,
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  Speaker 1: which means you, And if I hadn't found mister Arkwright,
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  Speaker 1: I might never have known how how I could go
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  Speaker 1: back to my old home as I am going on
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  Speaker 1: my honeymoon trip. And just know that every one of
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  Speaker 1: my old friends who shakes hands with me isn't pitying
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  Speaker 1: me now because I'm my father's daughter and that means you.
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  Speaker 1: For you see, I never would have known that my
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  Speaker 1: father's name was cleared if it hadn't been for you.
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  Speaker 1: And Oh, Alice, please please beg Billy laughingly, raising two
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  Speaker 1: protesting hands. Why don't you say that it's to me
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  Speaker 1: you owe just breathing and be done with it? Well?
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  Speaker 1: I will then, avowed Alice doggedly, and it's true too.
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  Speaker 1: For Honestly, my dear, I don't believe I would have
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  Speaker 1: been breathing today, nor mother either if you hadn't found
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  Speaker 1: us that morning and taken us out of those awful rooms.
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  Speaker 1: I never you wouldn't let me take you out, laughed, Billy,
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  Speaker 1: you proud little thing. Maybe you've forgotten how you turned
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  Speaker 1: poor Uncle William and me out into the cold, cold
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  Speaker 1: world that morning, just because we dared to aspire to
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  Speaker 1: your lowestoft teapot. But I haven't, Oh Billy, please don't
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  Speaker 1: begged Alice the painful color staining her face if you
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  Speaker 1: knew how I've hated myself since for the way I
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  Speaker 1: acted that day, and really you did take us away
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  Speaker 1: from there, you know, No, I didn't. I merely found
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  Speaker 1: two good tenants for mister and missus. Delano corrected Billy
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  Speaker 1: with a sober face. Oh yes, I know all about that,
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  Speaker 1: smiled Alice affectionately. And you got mother and me here
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  Speaker 1: to keep Aunt Hannah company and teach Tommy done. And
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  Speaker 1: you got aunt Hannah here to keep us company and
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  Speaker 1: take care of Tommy done. And you got Tommy done here.
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  Speaker 1: So Aunt Hannah and we could have somebody to teach
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  Speaker 1: and take care of. And as for the others, but
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  Speaker 1: Billy put her hands to her ears and fled. The
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  Speaker 1: wedding was to be on the fifteenth from the west.
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  Speaker 1: Kate wrote that, of course it was none of her affairs,
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  Speaker 1: particularly as neither of the interested parties was a relation.
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  Speaker 1: But still she should think that for a man in
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  Speaker 1: mister Arkwright's position, nothing but a church wedding would do
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  Speaker 1: at all, as of course, he did in a way
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  Speaker 1: belonged to the public. Alice, however, declared that perhaps he
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  Speaker 1: did belong to the public when he was don somebody
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  Speaker 1: or other in Dublin and Hose, but when he was
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  Speaker 1: just playing Michael Jeremiah Arkwright in a frock coat. He
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  Speaker 1: was hers, and she did not propose to make a
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  Speaker 1: grand opera show of her wedding, And as Arkwright too
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: very much disapproved of the church wedding idea, the two
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  Speaker 1: were married in the annex living room at noon on
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  Speaker 1: the fifteenth, as originally planned, in spite of missrus Kate
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  Speaker 1: Hartwell's letter. It was soon after the wedding that Bertram
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  Speaker 1: told Billy he wished she would sit for him with
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  Speaker 1: Bertram Junior. I want to try my hand at you
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  Speaker 1: both together, he coaxed. Why, of course, if you like, dear,
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  Speaker 1: agreed Billy promptly, though, I think baby is just as
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  Speaker 1: nice and even nicer alone. Once again, all over Bertram's
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  Speaker 1: studio began to appear sketches of Billy, this time a
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  Speaker 1: glorified tender Billy with the wonderful mother love in her eyes. Then,
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  Speaker 1: after several sketches of trial poses, Bertram began his picture
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  Speaker 1: of Billy and the baby together. Even now Bertram was
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  Speaker 1: not sure of his work. He knew knew that he
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  Speaker 1: could not yet paint with his old freedom and ease.
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  Speaker 1: He knew that his stroke was not so sure, so untrammeled.
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  Speaker 1: But he knew too that he had gained wonderfully during
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  Speaker 1: the summer, and that he was gaining now every day.
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  Speaker 1: To Billy, he said nothing of all this. Even to himself.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: He scarcely put his hope into words. But in his
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  Speaker 1: heart he knew that what he was really painting his
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  Speaker 1: mother and Child picture for was the Bohemian ten Club
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  Speaker 1: exhibition in March. If he could but put upon canvas
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  Speaker 1: the vision that was spurring him on. And so Bertram
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  Speaker 1: worked all through those short winter days, not always upon
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  Speaker 1: the one picture, of course, but upon some picture or
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  Speaker 1: sketch that would help to give his still uncertain left
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  Speaker 1: hand the skill that had belonged to its mate. And
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  Speaker 1: always cheering, encouraging, insisting on victory was Billy, so that
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  Speaker 1: even had Bertram been tempted sometimes to give up, he
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  Speaker 1: could not have done. And so and faced Billy's aggrieved,
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  Speaker 1: disappointed eyes. And when at last his work was completed,
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  Speaker 1: and the pictured mother and child and all their marvelous
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  Speaker 1: life and beauty seemed ready to step from the canvas,
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  Speaker 1: Billy drew a long, astatic breath. Oh, Bertram, it is
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  Speaker 1: it is the best work you have ever done. Billy
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  Speaker 1: was looking at the baby always she had ignored herself
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  Speaker 1: as part of the picture, and won't it be fine
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  Speaker 1: for the exhibition? Bertram's hand tightened on the chair back
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  Speaker 1: in front of him. For a moment he could not speak.
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  Speaker 1: Then a bit huskily, he asked, would you dare risk it?
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  Speaker 1: Risk it? Why? Bertram Henshaw, I've meant that picture for
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  Speaker 1: the exhibition from the very first Only I never dreamed
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  Speaker 1: you could get it so perfectly lovely? Now, what do
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  Speaker 1: you say about baby being nicer than any old face
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  Speaker 1: of a girl that you ever did? She triumphed, and Bertram,
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  Speaker 1: who even to had not dared whisper the word exhibition,
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  Speaker 1: gave a tremulous laugh that was almost a sob. So
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: overwhelming was his sudden realization of what faith and confidence
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  Speaker 1: had meant to Billy, his wife. If there was still
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: a lingering doubt in Bertram's mind, it must have been dispelled.
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  Speaker 1: In less than an hour after the Bohemian Ten Club
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  Speaker 1: Exhibition flung open its doors on its opening night, Once
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  Speaker 1: again Bertram found his pictures the sinishure of all admiring eyes,
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  Speaker 1: and himself the center of an enthusiastic group of friends
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  Speaker 1: and fellow artists, who vied with each other in hearty
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  Speaker 1: words of congratulation. And when later the feared critics whose
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: names and opinions counted for so much in his world,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: had their say in the daily press and weekly reviews,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Bertram knew how surely indeed he had won. And when
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: he read that Henshaw's work shows how away peculiar strength,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: a sort of reserve of power, as it were, which
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: beautiful as was his farmer work it never showed before,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: he smiled grimly and said to Billy, I suppose now
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: that was the fighting I did with my good left hand,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: A dear, But there was yet one more drop that
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: was to make Bertram's cup of joy brim to overflowing.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: It came just one month after the exhibition, in the
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: shape of a terse dozen words from the doctor. Bertram
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: fairly flew home that day. He had no consciousness of
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: any means of locomotion. He thought he was going to
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: tell his wife at once his great good news, But
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: when he saw her speech, suddenly fled, and all that
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  Speaker 1: he could do was to draw her closely to him
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  Speaker 1: with his left arm and hide his face. Why, Bertram, dearest,
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  Speaker 1: what is it, stammered the thoroughly frightened Billy. Has anything happened? No, no, yes, yes,
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  Speaker 1: everything has happened. I mean it's going to happen. Choked
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  Speaker 1: the man, Billy, that old chap says that I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to have my arm again. Think of it, my good
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  Speaker 1: right arm that I've lost so long. Oh, Bertram breathed Billy,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: and she too fell to sobbing. Later, when speech was
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  Speaker 1: more coherent, she faltered, Well, anyway, it doesn't make any
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  Speaker 1: difference how many beautiful pictures you paint after this, Bertram,
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  Speaker 1: I can't be prouder of any than I am of
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  Speaker 1: the one year left hand did Oh, but I have
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  Speaker 1: you to thank for all that, Dear, No, you haven't disputed, Billy,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: blinking teary eyes. But she paused, then went on spiritedly.
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  Speaker 1: But anyhow, I don't believe anyone, not even Kate, can
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  Speaker 1: say now that I've been a hindrance to you in
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  Speaker 1: your career. Hindrance, scoffed Bertram in a tone that left
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  Speaker 1: no room for doubt, and with a kiss that left
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  Speaker 1: even less if possible. Billy for still another minute silent,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: then with a wistfulness that was half playful, half serious,
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  Speaker 1: she sighed, Bertram, I believe being married is something like clocks,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: you know, especially at the first clocks. Dear. Yes, I
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: was out to Aunt Hannah's today. She was fussing with
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: her clock, the one that strikes half an hour ahead,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: and I saw all those quantities of wheels, little and big,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: that have to go just so, with all the little
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: cogs fitting into all the other little cogs just exactly right. Well,
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: that's like marriage. See. There's such a lot of little
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: cogs in everyday life that have to be fitted so
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: they'll run smoothly, that have to be adjusted, especially at
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: the first Oh, Billy, what an idea, But it's so really, Bertram. Anyhow,
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: I know my cogs were always getting out of place
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: at the first, laughed Billy. And I was like Aunt
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Hannah's clock too, always going off half an hour ahead
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: of time. And maybe I shall be so again sometimes.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: But Bertram, her voice shook a little. If you'll just
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: look at my face, you'll see that I tell the
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: right time there, just as Aunt Hannah's clock does. I'm
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: sure always I'll tell the right time there, even if
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: I do go off half an hour ahead, as if
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that answered Bertram very low and tenderly. Besides,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: I reckon, I have some cogs of my own that
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: needed justin end of Chapter thirty, end of Miss Billy
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Married by Eleanor H. Porter