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When You Love Your Family But Feel Invisible in Your Own Life (And What to Do) · Your Utmost Life

0:00
Misty Celli: Have you ever been pulled from your bed by the notifications going off on your phone or pouring yourself a cup of coffee?
0:06
Misty Celli: And before you get it to your lips, a list of, oh yeah, can you do, can you get is added to your day.
0:12
Misty Celli: My phone buzzed four times before I finished my coffee this morning, and every single one of them was a really good reason to hand over my day.
0:19
Misty Celli: And for about 90 seconds, I almost did.
0:22
Misty Celli: Because it's so easy to feel the urgency, especially as your phone buzzes and dings and makes a big deal.
0:29
Misty Celli: Even now, after years of understanding the value, not just to myself, but to those I love, that poll is still there.
0:35
Misty Celli: So today I want to talk to you about that poll.
0:38
Misty Celli: And I want to talk to you about how to care without disappearing, love without being limitless, and support without self-erasing, and how you can show up for others without abandoning yourself.
0:48
Misty Celli: So if your calendar fills up before you ever get a chance to add yourself to it, or you actually get to anything just for you, this one's for you.
0:56
Misty Celli: Discover the one sentence that changes it.
0:59
Misty Celli: No guilt needed.
1:00
Misty Celli: Do you ever catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back, the one who once dreamed big and had passion and a purpose that went beyond meeting everyone else's needs?
1:10
Misty Celli: If you've caught yourself thinking, is this all there is, and then feeling guilty for even thinking it, you're in the right place.
1:16
Misty Celli: You were never meant to disappear into your roles, but somewhere between everyone's needs and expectations, you became invisible and disconnected.
1:23
Misty Celli: Running your days on autopilot started to feel like just the way things are.
1:28
Misty Celli: It isn't.
1:29
Misty Celli: You are more than everyone's everything.
1:31
Misty Celli: You are someone, and she is still in there, the woman with dreams that matter, a voice that deserves to be heard, and the life that was always meant to include you.
1:39
Misty Celli: This is where you reconnect to her and live your utmost life, not by accident, not by obligation, but by design.
1:45
Misty Celli: Welcome to your utmost life podcast.
1:47
Misty Celli: I'm Misty, Identity and Life Design Coach for Ambitious Mothers.
1:51
Misty Celli: But before we get into today, if you haven't hit follow or subscribe yet, do it now.
1:56
Misty Celli: So I've lost myself, stops being where your story ends.
2:00
Misty Celli: Let's get into today's episode.
2:02
Misty Celli: You wake up Monday morning with a beautifully outlined plan.
2:07
Misty Celli: Tasks are listed, tonight's dinner plan written down, who you need to call, the appointment you have, and the one that you need to schedule.
2:15
Misty Celli: If all goes according to plan, you should be able to grab lunch and maybe get to the book you bought.
2:20
Misty Celli: You feel upbeat, prepared, and ready to tackle the day, but by 9 a.m., it's gone, absorbed into somebody else's needs.
2:28
Misty Celli: And by lunch, you feel behind, frustrated with yourself, and worried your task won't get done.
2:34
Misty Celli: Maybe you'll just pick up dinner instead.
2:36
Misty Celli: During dinner, as the day is discussed, words like I didn't get to it, I ran out of time, I'll do it tomorrow come out of your mouth.
2:45
Misty Celli: Your body is there, but your mind isn't.
2:48
Misty Celli: It's trying to organize tomorrow's day and today's unfinished day.
2:52
Misty Celli: And by the time dinner is being cleaned, you've already added at least one additional thing to your list for this week.
2:59
Misty Celli: You can see it in your to-do list.
3:01
Misty Celli: It looks the same at the end of the day as it did at the start, just with more things added to the bottom.
3:07
Misty Celli: And as you lie awake thinking about today, tomorrow, and wondering what else you need to tackle or have forgotten to do, the last thing that goes through your mind before you finally drift off to sleep is this thought.
3:20
Misty Celli: Just once, I love to get everything done so I could finally just be for a moment.
3:26
Misty Celli: By the time Wednesday comes, the whole plan has been blown and you feel the frustration of not being organized enough and the worry about how you will get it all done before the end of the week.
3:38
Misty Celli: You feel it in your shoulders and your neck before your feet even hit the floor.
3:42
Misty Celli: That nagging feeling of already being behind before the day has actually even begun.
3:48
Misty Celli: If you're honest, this isn't something new.
3:51
Misty Celli: It hasn't been just a week or two or even a season or two.
3:56
Misty Celli: It's been years.
3:58
Misty Celli: The new apps, the planners, the weeks perfectly organized on Sunday night.
4:03
Misty Celli: The effort has been given time and time again for years.
4:08
Misty Celli: You tell others that you haven't found the right system for you.
4:13
Misty Celli: But inside, you tell yourself that you just can't get it together.
4:17
Misty Celli: You're failing to be good enough, organized enough, or it's just not ever going to be who you are.
4:23
Misty Celli: What is the way out of that?
4:25
Misty Celli: How can it change?
4:27
Misty Celli: How can you take back your calendar, your plans, your day in a way that handles the non-negotiables, the tasks that need to be done, but also include you?
4:37
Misty Celli: What needs to shift to finally give you the accomplishment, the peace and worth that you are searching for without the self-sacrifice that has been robbing you?
4:46
Misty Celli: What can you do to take back the week?
4:49
Misty Celli: Handle everything for everyone and have time for you.
4:54
Misty Celli: You've been carrying this so long, it just feels like your life.
4:59
Misty Celli: You've prioritized other people's tasks over your own needs because theirs felt urgent and yours felt optional.
5:06
Misty Celli: Their desires felt valid and yours felt right now a little selfish.
5:12
Misty Celli: But you are worth more than meeting others' needs well.
5:16
Misty Celli: Many people, women, and especially moms, run their day by whoever needs me first comes first rule.
5:23
Misty Celli: They believe helpfulness equals love, that selflessness is goodness, and that making things easier for others creates peace and provides purpose.
5:32
Misty Celli: They know that praise, affection, and less conflict come from saying yes.
5:37
Misty Celli: They get validation when they're selfless.
5:39
Misty Celli: You're amazing, and I don't know how you would do it all brings her purpose, approval, and a sense of worth.
5:46
Misty Celli: This makes her feel safe, secure, and accepted.
5:49
Misty Celli: Her identity becomes the one who can handle it all.
5:53
Misty Celli: She is the fixer, the helper, and people rely on her and praise her, and this is where the loop begins.
5:59
Misty Celli: Someone needs something, she steps in, she gets praised, feels like she is a contributing, gains certainty in her identity as a fixer, and quietly pushes her own needs aside again and again.
6:10
Misty Celli: This loop becomes automatic.
6:13
Misty Celli: She no longer chooses to meet needs, she defaults to it.
6:16
Misty Celli: And soon the chronic self-abandonment takes its toll.
6:20
Misty Celli: She begins to believe that she doesn't help, she's being selfish, taking something away from others if she takes time for herself.
6:27
Misty Celli: If she rests, she's lazy.
6:30
Misty Celli: And the fear of disappointing someone feels like a weight sitting on her chest.
6:34
Misty Celli: So one yes after another, one need of hers pushed aside after another, she becomes the invisible mama because she believes that any need she has threatens what she has.
6:45
Misty Celli: Years of self-sacrifice, selflessness, and overfunctioning and being the strong, dependable one solidify the belief that the world values her more when she is less.
6:54
Misty Celli: Until one day, that invisible mama looks in the mirror and no longer recognizes the woman looking back.
7:01
Misty Celli: She runs her day on autopilot, feeling disconnected from the task, the plans, the day from those she loves.
7:09
Misty Celli: And moments of connection where joyful memories should be made, she feels numb.
7:14
Misty Celli: And as her husband, whom she loves so dearly, sleeps soundly next to her, she notices a twinge of resentment.
7:22
Misty Celli: Why does he get to sleep so peacefully when there are so many things that need to get done?
7:27
Misty Celli: Why does it always have to be hers to carry?
7:30
Misty Celli: Then the guilt spiral kicks in, and at three o'clock she finally drifts off to sleep.
7:35
Misty Celli: She didn't decide to become the invisible mama on purpose.
7:39
Misty Celli: She just started acting like it was her law, checking everyone else's needs before she'd even ask what hers were, treating her own plans as if they came with an asterisk, unless someone needs me.
7:52
Misty Celli: She doesn't design a day that includes her because she doesn't actually believe she's allowed to or safe to.
7:59
Misty Celli: Until the pattern of chronic self-abandonment is identified, it's nobody's fault.
8:05
Misty Celli: It's just a pattern attached to a belief.
8:08
Misty Celli: But not being aware of this isn't the same as understanding it and choosing to ignore it by chalking it up as just the way it is.
8:16
Misty Celli: Maybe you see pieces of yourself in this.
8:19
Misty Celli: If your chest tightened or your stomach dropped, or your mind whispered, that's me.
8:24
Misty Celli: That's not because you're broken.
8:26
Misty Celli: You've been caring more than any one person was meant to carry.
8:30
Misty Celli: There is no shame in that.
8:32
Misty Celli: Now there is awareness and recognition.
8:35
Misty Celli: It's a pattern, one you didn't choose, but one you can change.
8:40
Misty Celli: This honesty is the first step back to yourself.
8:43
Misty Celli: Living with the belief that your value comes from meeting others' needs is the worst way to choose to live, because it will never let you fully live.
8:51
Misty Celli: And I say that with so much tenderness because I lived it for decades.
8:55
Misty Celli: I didn't choose it on purpose.
8:58
Misty Celli: I just kept going, giving, and showing up for everyone else.
9:01
Misty Celli: And I told myself that was enough, that it was good, that it was who I was, and this is what great moms do.
9:08
Misty Celli: Until we get still enough to actually look at it, we never see the pattern.
9:13
Misty Celli: We just feel the pain, live with the numbness, and carry the quiet guilt every time we dare to want something for ourselves.
9:20
Misty Celli: So I'm not here to shame you for believing it.
9:23
Misty Celli: I'm here to show you why it isn't true.
9:25
Misty Celli: Let me ask you something.
9:27
Misty Celli: If your value comes from meeting others' needs, why do you feel more exhausted, invisible, and less fulfilled the more you give?
9:35
Misty Celli: If the belief were working, wouldn't it feel like it was working?
9:38
Misty Celli: The more needs you meet, the more valued you'd feel.
9:42
Misty Celli: But that's not what's happening, is it?
9:44
Misty Celli: The more you give, the more is expected.
9:48
Misty Celli: Your effort isn't creating appreciation, it's creating dependency.
9:52
Misty Celli: Your value isn't rising, but your workload is.
9:56
Misty Celli: Now, let's apply this belief all the way.
9:59
Misty Celli: If your worth comes from meeting needs, then your child's worth to you comes from what they do for you, correct?
10:07
Misty Celli: Your husband is only as valuable as his acts of service, correct?
10:13
Misty Celli: But that's not true, is it?
10:15
Misty Celli: You love them simply because they exist.
10:18
Misty Celli: Their worth to you has nothing to do with their output.
10:22
Misty Celli: You would grieve them if they were gone, not because of what they did, but because of who they are.
10:26
Misty Celli: So why is the rule different for you?
10:29
Misty Celli: And you don't have to take my word for it.
10:31
Misty Celli: Look at the women who've walked this same road and found their way out.
10:35
Misty Celli: Brene Brown spent her first 30 plus years trying to earn her worth through achievement, perfectionism, and performance.
10:43
Misty Celli: After years of research on shame and vulnerability, her breakthrough came down to one truth.
10:49
Misty Celli: In the gifts of imperfection, she writes, worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.
10:54
Misty Celli: You are worthy now, right this minute, as is.
10:58
Misty Celli: Michelle Obama has said repeatedly that she had to reclaim her identity after years of overfunctioning as a mother, a wife, a professional.
11:07
Misty Celli: Her value didn't rise when she met more needs.
11:10
Misty Celli: It rose when she stepped into her own.
11:13
Misty Celli: These aren't women who stopped caring for the people they loved.
11:16
Misty Celli: They are women who stopped making their worth contingent on it.
11:19
Misty Celli: And their lives, their families, their impact, their joy didn't suffer.
11:24
Misty Celli: They flourished.
11:25
Misty Celli: Worth doesn't wait for time.
11:28
Misty Celli: Worth reorganizes time.
11:30
Misty Celli: I know this is hard and maybe going against every way you've ever been looking at your day, thinking about yourself and doing things in general.
11:38
Misty Celli: So let me make it personal.
11:39
Misty Celli: Have you ever been sick, really sick, maybe in the hospital or a time when you physically couldn't do anything for anyone?
11:46
Misty Celli: You couldn't handle, manage, or show up for a single need.
11:49
Misty Celli: Did the people who love you love you less in that moment?
11:53
Misty Celli: Now, I'm not asking whether you felt like you had less value.
11:56
Misty Celli: I'm asking whether they felt like you had less value.
12:00
Misty Celli: People don't love you because you meet their needs.
12:03
Misty Celli: They love you because you're you.
12:06
Misty Celli: And the question we're sitting with is this wouldn't it mean more to live with them than to always be doing for them so they can actually know all of you?
12:56
Misty Celli: Here's what's actually true.
12:58
Misty Celli: A lighthouse does not run along the shoreline trying to meet every ship's needs.
13:03
Misty Celli: It stands still, it shines, it protects simply by being itself.
13:08
Misty Celli: Your value is in your presence, not your performance.
13:12
Misty Celli: Meeting needs is a skill that you're good at, but it is skill is something you do.
13:17
Misty Celli: It's not the sum of who you are or a source of your worth.
13:21
Misty Celli: You are not a resource, you are a person, and you are not here to disappear into servitude and self-sacrifice to earn the right to exist in your own life.
13:31
Misty Celli: That right was never something you needed to earn.
13:34
Misty Celli: You are here to exist in your own life, not to prove, perform, or please to earn that right.
13:40
Misty Celli: A belief that requires endless proof isn't a truth, it's a trap.
13:46
Misty Celli: So you have a choice now.
13:47
Misty Celli: You can keep living by the belief that your worth is tied to what you give, keep pushing, keep proving, keep quietly erasing yourself and feel exactly the way you feel today, next year, in five years, at the end, or you can let this be the moment the pattern stops.
14:07
Misty Celli: Not because you've suddenly earned it, but because you finally decided that you don't have to.
14:13
Misty Celli: The escape is there.
14:14
Misty Celli: You just have to take it.
14:16
Misty Celli: Here's what the belief actually looks like once it's running your week.
14:20
Misty Celli: You put yourself last on purpose, not by accident, but as a kind of moral math you do without noticing, checking everyone else's needs first every time.
14:30
Misty Celli: You pencil your own plans in with an asterisk while everyone else's requests get real ink.
14:35
Misty Celli: Nothing you want gets the same protection your calendar automatically gives everyone else.
14:40
Misty Celli: You read every interruption as an order, a text, a mood in the house, a question from across the room.
14:47
Misty Celli: You answer all of it like it's urgent, whether it is or not.
14:50
Misty Celli: You cancel on yourself before anyone even asks.
14:54
Misty Celli: You skip the workout, the call, the hour that you set aside, just in case somebody needs you before they even have.
15:01
Misty Celli: And you call the delay virtue.
15:04
Misty Celli: I'll get to it later, becomes proof you're a good mother, a good wife, instead of what it actually is, the pattern doing quiet damage.
15:13
Misty Celli: And here's what that costs you.
15:15
Misty Celli: And I want to name it in three layers because it's bigger than one bad Tuesday.
15:19
Misty Celli: This week, it costs you the hour you meant to take and didn't.
15:23
Misty Celli: And underneath that, it costs you the muscle of even knowing what you choose if the day were yours.
15:29
Misty Celli: The longer whoever needs me first runs things, the less practice you get at deciding anything for yourself.
15:36
Misty Celli: And it's quietly training your house.
15:38
Misty Celli: Everyone's learning that you're the flexible one, the one who plans move, so nobody else's has to.
15:44
Misty Celli: You've been role modeling how they see you, how they value you, how they think about your place in the family.
15:51
Misty Celli: They know you as the helper, the fixer, the woman who makes everything happen.
15:57
Misty Celli: And 10 years from now, if nothing changes, it costs you the connection that you've been aching for.
16:03
Misty Celli: It was built solely on logistics, responsibility, and your capability, not actually on being known.
16:10
Misty Celli: Your children will never truly know who you are, your dreams, your desires, your voice, personality.
16:16
Misty Celli: They will remember your effort, but not your essence.
16:19
Misty Celli: Your husband will love you, but will no longer truly know you.
16:24
Misty Celli: He will see you as reliable, strong, and competent, but he will not know your needs, your longings, your softness, or your joy.
16:34
Misty Celli: You will be the woman who keeps his home running, but not the woman whose heart he gets to hold.
16:40
Misty Celli: Friendships will become shallow and fade.
16:42
Misty Celli: Your dreams will die quietly and you will grieve them deeply, not because they were frivolous, but because they were you.
16:50
Misty Celli: Your body will show the story inside.
16:52
Misty Celli: The tired, capable, and responsible woman, empty, no longer her.
16:58
Misty Celli: She is not the woman she once dreamed of becoming, the one God created her to be, or her children deserve to know, or her husband fell in love with, or the woman she aches to return to.
17:10
Misty Celli: And if I'm being honest with you, because I care, if you keep living by this belief, you risk reaching the end of your life and realizing you spent it running yourself into the ground, being strong but never whole.
17:23
Misty Celli: You lived as an invisible mama in the very life you were meant to inhabit fully.
17:29
Misty Celli: That's not your destiny.
17:31
Misty Celli: It's just the road that you've been on, and the road can change.
17:35
Misty Celli: You have a choice, exit or keep dredging forward.
17:40
Misty Celli: So, what does an exit look like?
17:42
Misty Celli: Well, it starts with interrupting the pattern, rewriting the belief, and reclaiming your worth as an unconditional fact.
17:50
Misty Celli: Here's what I know.
17:51
Misty Celli: When you stop trying to earn your place in your own week and simply decide that you have one, something shifts.
17:58
Misty Celli: Not just in you, but around you.
18:00
Misty Celli: It's not loud, it doesn't happen all at once, but it's real.
18:04
Misty Celli: Your children start to see you differently, not just as the woman who makes things happen, but as a woman with a voice, a personality, a life they get to be part of.
18:13
Misty Celli: Your husband starts to know you again, not just rely on you.
18:17
Misty Celli: The conversations get deeper, the connections that felt like it was slipping start to come back.
18:22
Misty Celli: Not because you did more, but because you finally showed up as more than what you do.
18:28
Misty Celli: And your days, they don't get emptier, they get fuller.
18:32
Misty Celli: Because when you're on the list, everything else you give means something different.
18:38
Misty Celli: It comes from a woman who chose to be there, not a woman who had no other choice.
18:43
Misty Celli: Worth reorganizes time.
18:46
Misty Celli: The moment that you decide you're worth including, the day starts to reflect it.
18:50
Misty Celli: The minutes don't appear because you've earned them.
18:54
Misty Celli: They appear because you decided that you were worth spending them on.
18:58
Misty Celli: That is the exit.
18:59
Misty Celli: So let me ask you honestly, do you want to continue trying to prove your worth and erasing yourself?
19:05
Misty Celli: Or are you ready to step into the life of an utmost woman?
19:09
Misty Celli: Not the woman who does it all, the woman who inhabits it all.
19:13
Misty Celli: If you are tired of paying the price of staying in this pattern and you are ready to interrupt it, rewrite the belief, and finally build a week that actually includes you, then click the link in the show notes or go to yourutmost.com forward slash starter.
19:29
Misty Celli: It's free, less than 15 minutes.
19:31
Misty Celli: I'll walk you through it personally because I've been exactly where you are right now.
19:36
Misty Celli: And by midday, you'll be making decisions without guilt, following through without self-sacrifice and showing up as yourself, not just as everyone else's everything.
19:46
Misty Celli: I was 30-something, a stay-at-home mom, sitting at a red light on my way home.
19:51
Misty Celli: I had a full life.
19:53
Misty Celli: I loved my family completely, and I was so proud of everything that I was able to get done in the day, the needs I was meeting for my family, the meals I was making, and every day I was told I was a rock star.
20:05
Misty Celli: But in that ordinary, unremarkable moment at the red light, I realized I felt invisible, unknown, and no longer valuable for just being me.
20:15
Misty Celli: I realized I couldn't tell you the last time I'd done something just for me.
20:20
Misty Celli: Looking back, all I could see was a life full of days trying to prove my worth by impressing them with my strength, my ability to get things done, and providing for them their needs before they knew they even had them.
20:33
Misty Celli: Something in me went very still, and underneath that stillness was a grief I'd never said out loud, because my life was full and gratitude felt like the only acceptable response.
20:44
Misty Celli: But the grief was real.
20:45
Misty Celli: It had been building longer than I knew.
20:48
Misty Celli: That red light is where my journey began, leading me to live and create the utmost method.
20:53
Misty Celli: Not because something dramatic happened, but because I finally got still enough to hear what had been whispering underneath all the noise.
21:00
Misty Celli: She's still in there and she's been waiting.
21:03
Misty Celli: I'll be honest, I spiraled for a few days, questioning and pondering.
21:08
Misty Celli: How could I let myself kit to this?
21:10
Misty Celli: How could one's worth get used up?
21:12
Misty Celli: Am I more than just a service provider?
21:15
Misty Celli: What I can tell you is what it built into.
21:18
Misty Celli: A normal, everyday morning, getting out of bed with a plan that includes me.
21:23
Misty Celli: And the first hour of my day already has my name on it.
21:26
Misty Celli: Not because I earned it, but because I decided it was mine without needing to prove it and earn it.
21:32
Misty Celli: The rest of the day still has plenty in it that isn't about me, but it isn't all of it anymore.
21:38
Misty Celli: And that difference is the whole thing.
21:40
Misty Celli: Conversations have deepened, talking about dreams, the projects I'm working on, the goals I have.
21:46
Misty Celli: Not just talking about everyone else's life.
21:49
Misty Celli: I am sharing my life and how I am actually showing up in it.
21:53
Misty Celli: My husband and I are headed in the same direction on our journey as husband and wife.
21:58
Misty Celli: My kids know me more fully.
22:00
Misty Celli: I know me more fully.
22:02
Misty Celli: I didn't become a different woman immediately overnight, but I just finally let the one who'd been there the whole entire time have a say in her own week, starting with one word, then turning into three.
22:14
Misty Celli: The three words came from three questions.
22:16
Misty Celli: And yes, those questions, along with how to use them and me guiding you, can be found in the free resource.
22:22
Misty Celli: When we ask better questions, we produce better results.
22:26
Misty Celli: After asking the questions, I took those answers and I put those words to work.
22:30
Misty Celli: I use those three words to interrupt the pattern, rewrite the belief, and reclaim my worth, my time, and my life.
22:37
Misty Celli: It doesn't take long for compounding.
22:40
Misty Celli: To take hold.
22:41
Misty Celli: One small choice to do something different, to try and get a different result because what I was doing wasn't working, and the trajectory wasn't one I could live with.
22:51
Misty Celli: I know it's coming up right now, so let's just say it.
22:53
Misty Celli: We mentioned it at the beginning.
22:55
Misty Celli: You've tried things before and they didn't stick.
22:58
Misty Celli: I get it, I really do.
23:00
Misty Celli: I've been there too.
23:01
Misty Celli: And you're correct, they didn't stick.
23:03
Misty Celli: But here's the thing you didn't know and what you do now.
23:06
Misty Celli: The pattern, the truth about your worth, the positive impact of embracing that truth and the cost of not embracing that truth laid out so clearly.
23:15
Misty Celli: In all of your previous attempts, you were trying to fix a system, which is what the world tells you is broken.
23:21
Misty Celli: Get a new planner, write a better schedule, set more boundaries, get up early.
23:26
Misty Celli: The problem is none of those meet you where you actually are, at a different starting point and location.
23:32
Misty Celli: It's like GPS telling you to take a ride, but it thinks that you're two blocks over.
23:37
Misty Celli: Your right is just taking you into a brick wall.
23:40
Misty Celli: So when you put in the effort, the plan failed, which then convinced you something was wrong with you.
23:46
Misty Celli: The truth is, until now, you didn't realize you were not at all at the location.
23:51
Misty Celli: You weren't aware that there was a hidden pattern that's been erasing you and turning you into an invisible mama.
23:57
Misty Celli: None of that is your fault.
23:59
Misty Celli: You didn't have the language, the understanding, and you didn't know that it would turn around with a small, simple step.
24:05
Misty Celli: Three questions that give you the words of who you are as a woman beyond the roles and sacrifice.
24:10
Misty Celli: Once you have them, you have the right location and GPS signal.
24:15
Misty Celli: And time doesn't wait.
24:16
Misty Celli: The kids keep growing, life keeps moving, it doesn't pause while we figure ourselves out.
24:22
Misty Celli: Every week you stay in the same pattern is a week that passes.
24:26
Misty Celli: This leads to more of the pain and struggle you feel and deal with, growing and compounding, providing you with less opportunity to have what you want, to be the woman you long to be, and to live the life you know you want and your family deserves.
24:39
Misty Celli: Don't waste time trying to earn worth the same way you've been trying when all it's giving you is the same feelings of distance, invisibility, or disconnect.
24:48
Misty Celli: You are ready.
24:50
Misty Celli: They are ready.
24:51
Misty Celli: Why wait?
24:52
Misty Celli: And if not now, when?
24:54
Misty Celli: When another year full of holidays, where your presence could be the difference between a photo where you're absent and hollow, are present and fully alive, or the daily opportunities blessed to each of us pass you by.
25:08
Misty Celli: And I know that voice inside is telling you you aren't worth the time, but again, that is just the pattern, not the truth.
25:16
Misty Celli: Time doesn't create worth, worth reorganizes time.
25:20
Misty Celli: The minutes don't appear because you've earned them, they appear because you decided that you were worth spending them on.
25:27
Misty Celli: Your first step is literally free, powerful, and takes less than 15 minutes.
25:32
Misty Celli: It doesn't require you to fully buy in, understand, or believe.
25:36
Misty Celli: Your current truth is strong.
25:38
Misty Celli: I get it and I understand.
25:40
Misty Celli: But what you've been doing isn't giving you everything you've been aching for.
25:44
Misty Celli: So stop ramming your head against the same wall.
25:46
Misty Celli: Try a different approach.
25:48
Misty Celli: All it takes is honesty with yourself.
25:51
Misty Celli: I promise you that you're not too unique.
25:54
Misty Celli: Your situation isn't too complicated.
25:56
Misty Celli: Understand, you aren't alone.
25:58
Misty Celli: I get it.
25:59
Misty Celli: I've been there.
26:00
Misty Celli: I am here with you.
26:01
Misty Celli: And I want to be clear about my part in this because it isn't what you might think.
26:06
Misty Celli: I'm not handing you a stranger's schedule and asking you to squeeze into it.
26:11
Misty Celli: My job is smaller than that and steadier.
26:14
Misty Celli: I help you draw the blueprint for the week that's already trying to be yours, the one built around the woman who's been in there the whole entire time, not around whoever needs you first.
26:25
Misty Celli: Picture a Tuesday, next Tuesday.
26:27
Misty Celli: Even if you already have it planned out, picture it.
26:30
Misty Celli: The alarm goes off, your mind automatically begins to jump into the day, but this time, instead of dread feeling behind or wanting to pull the covers back up, you take a deep breath and fill it into your body.
26:42
Misty Celli: You take a few seconds to focus on your three words, and you feel the peace wash over you.
26:48
Misty Celli: As you get up, you're thinking of the day ahead, the 15 to 20 minute pockets of time set aside just for you throughout the day.
26:55
Misty Celli: You're in the kitchen with your coffee, noticing your own breath for a minute before the day asks anything of you.
27:02
Misty Celli: That 30 minutes is on the calendar with your name on it, the same as anyone else's.
27:06
Misty Celli: You didn't try to protect 10 things this week.
27:09
Misty Celli: You named three, the ones that actually matter, the ones you've noticed missing, and you put them on the calendar with the same seriousness you've always given everyone else's requests.
27:20
Misty Celli: Mid morning, your phone buzzes with something at first read feels urgent, but your words help you see it isn't.
27:26
Misty Celli: The previous version of you would have dropped anything and everything, but today you look at it and you say, I'm going to finish this and then I'll look into it further.
27:35
Misty Celli: No guilt, fear, or needing to justify yourself.
27:39
Misty Celli: You feel proud of yourself, and when you finish what you're doing, then you go be exactly as present as you promised.
27:46
Misty Celli: That night, sitting at the dinner table, talking with your husband, a thought occurs to you.
27:51
Misty Celli: It's been a long time since dinners felt like this.
27:54
Misty Celli: So connected, energized, and calm.
27:57
Misty Celli: You think about the conversation you had with your child earlier in the day and realize it felt different too.
28:02
Misty Celli: It was longer, deeper, both of you connecting in a way you didn't think was possible anymore.
28:08
Misty Celli: You realize your family isn't falling apart.
28:11
Misty Celli: They aren't upset with you or value you less.
28:14
Misty Celli: In fact, truth be told, it's improved.
28:16
Misty Celli: And they didn't even know that you changed your tactic, no longer self-sacrificing, but including yourself, loving yourself and knowing your worth so you could love them more fully.
28:27
Misty Celli: By the end of the day, you haven't done less for the people you love.
28:31
Misty Celli: You just stopped being the only person on the list who never made it onto the list.
28:36
Misty Celli: That is not a different life.
28:38
Misty Celli: That's the same Tuesday built around a different truth about whose day it is.
28:42
Misty Celli: This is what it looks like to lead your life as an utmost woman.
28:46
Misty Celli: See the future that becomes available when you choose differently.
28:50
Misty Celli: Imagine the ripple effect of this decision five years from now.
28:54
Misty Celli: Ask yourself, what identity do you need to embrace?
28:57
Misty Celli: The invisible mama or the utmost woman to live that future.
29:00
Misty Celli: Not just dream of it and long for, but be inside it, experiencing it.
29:05
Misty Celli: The choice is yours.
29:07
Misty Celli: Your best self wouldn't settle here.
29:09
Misty Celli: You've just seen what Tuesday looks like when you're on the list.
29:12
Misty Celli: Here's your one step.
29:13
Misty Celli: Click the link in the show notes or go to yourutmost.com forward slash starter.
29:19
Misty Celli: Get your three words to recognize and reconnect with the woman beyond the roles so you can finally build a week that sticks and includes you.
29:27
Misty Celli: Say this with me.
29:28
Misty Celli: I am worth fully inhabiting my life.
29:31
Misty Celli: I am someone, not just everything to everyone.
29:36
Misty Celli: If this one landed, leave a review.
29:38
Misty Celli: It helps the next woman who needs to hear this find it.
29:41
Misty Celli: And if you know someone who is unaware that they are being controlled by a pattern that is erasing them, send this to them.
29:48
Misty Celli: Until next time, or actually, when I see you inside the free resource, remember you are more than everyone's everything.
29:55
Misty Celli: You are someone.