Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Santa with Lighting & a Boom Mic

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: Santa with Lighting & a Boom Mic · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Cut booms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: It's a clearing house of hot takes. Break free for
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: In the air everywhere.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Maler and Danny g
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Radio A Happy Friday to you the day after the
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: big holiday, the Christmas Holiday. Why am I doing this podcast?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: I am away from the radio. I'll tell you why.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: I'm a glutton for punishment. And a podcast is much
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: easier than a four hour radio show. A podcast is
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: twenty five or thirty minutes and that's it, and you
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: can do it whenever you want to explain this to people.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I have friends of mine that are doing podcasts and
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: some of them never did radio, and I try to
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: point out.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: That is it a brag? I guess it's a brag.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: I just the live radio show is a much bigger
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: endeavor than a podcast. People get offended by that. Just
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: the reality of the situation. Nonetheless, it is Boxing Day today,
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: and so I figured what better way to celebrate Boxing
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Day than to do this podcast. And really, every day
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: is Boxing Day at the Malor Mansion. My wife is
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: now pretty much one hundred percent an online shopper, and
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: that's it just more convenient, and we have box after
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: box after box after box, so many boxes. Every day
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: is Boxing Day. It's time to hop on the bully
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: pulpit because there's a thing happening in the NFL every
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: December that drives me absolutely be as. Now I've got
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: on this podcast. We've got camel and tuned into PPS.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: Now this is my age old pet people. We're gonna
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: start with this and it's a pretty good jumping up point.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: You've probably seen. Back in the day, there was a
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: channel called QVC. My problem is QGC, not QVC. My
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: problem is QGC as in quarterbacks, gifts cameras. It is
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: everywhere this time of the year, throwing lights in action
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: if you want. It's the annual look at me, I'm generous.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of money, I buy really nice gifts.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: But it's look at me, I'm generous.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: The Bowl sponsored by Ring Lights and brand managers from
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: c They're shining Sea. Every quarterback in the league turns
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: into Santa Claus old Saint Nick. But not the small Santa,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: the kind that you see at the mall or when
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: I was sitting my fat ass on the back of
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: a fire truck. Not the bad Santa image of the
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: cigarette bray, the depressed, down on their luck, smell like regret,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: have sad cup of coffee in their hand. Not that
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: this is Santa with the PR department. This is Santa
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: with a social media coordinator. It is Santa with a
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: three point lighting setup and a boom bike covering like
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: it's an episode they're filming of Hard Knocks, the c
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: SE edition Community Service Edition. Ho ho smash that like button. Now,
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you right now. I fully blame my
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: dearly departed parents. They raised me on the radical, absolutely
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: radical idea that true charity should be anonymous, and I
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: blame them. That is, if you're doing something nice and
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: immediately have to tell everyone about it, maybe that's a
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: weasel word. You're not doing it for the right reasons, dumb,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: dumb your jackwagon. Now, real generosity is doing something nice
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: for someone who will never find out. Not doing it
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: because you want to get likes on Facebook or a
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: bunch of views on TikTok, not for Instagram validation, just
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: because it's the right thing to do.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: God forbid.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: How will people know that you're a good person if
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: you don't tell them, You have to show them.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: It's a sickness. This is empty social media friendly generosity.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: It's philanthropathy that boosts the giver's social capital more than
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: the cause itself. It's not PBS, it's PPS. We're all
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: tuned into PPS. That's performative philanthropic syndrome. These charity events
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: have better production. I'm telling you, better pressure value than
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: half the stuff Netflix screen lights.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I've always hey this.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: I remember when I first got on the media business
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: and I was on the email list for all the
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: teams in in LA, and I remember the Lakers would
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: send out a press release this goes back to like
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: the nineties, and they'd be like Nick van Exel's handing
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: out turkeys at the shelter. He'll be there from two
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: to two thirty photo op and then he'll do a
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: ten minute of media availability after that. And they said
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: this out, I mean all the teams do it. I
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: just mentioned Lakers, but they all did it because they
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: wanted to get on the eleven o'clock news back when
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: people watch the news. Of course, now that's been taken
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: to the next level. We're at the point where quarterback
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: gift reveal, which goes on all of us. It looks
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: like a gender reveal party for a Lamborghini QB number
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: one playing Santa is not new, all right, it's not new.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: This has been around for generations. Literally, it used to
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: be quiet, it used to be subtle. It did it
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: was under the radar. Is it true that Joe Montana
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: is credited as the innovator In the nineteen eighties, he
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: gave his forty nine er offensive lineman Rolex watches.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I was back in the late eighties early nineties. There
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: were no.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Cameras, there was no hashtags, couldn't be There was no
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: makeup chair.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: They didn't have a sound guy.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Just hey, big fella, thanks for keeping me alive and
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: helping the Niners win the Super Bowl. Here's a nice
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: expensive watch. Now Montana was doing charity like a mob boss.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Here's your envelope. Just nod walk away.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That's it. Manila envelope, nod walk away. That's all.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Then came the person who is believed to be Patient zero,
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Dan the man Dan Marino, Dolphin's legend from the nineteen eighties.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: He was Patient zero, the invasive species, the man who
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: turned gratitude into attitude and an advertised campaign. And if
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: you're old that you know of those iconic Isotona glove commercials.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: I give them to protect the hands that protect me.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Boom goes to dynamite and now we're selling gloves and
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: virtue and you can thank number thirteen in your teal
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: dolphin uniform, Dan Marino. That was the moment that charity
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: jumped the shark right there, Boom, Shaka laka, or put
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: the shark in branded gloves if you want.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Since then, we have literally witnessed.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: In my lifetime in arms race, not arms, watches, cars, bikes, swords.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: We're talking cutlery, actual medieval weaponry.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Quarterbacks one upping each other like it's a pissing contest,
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: and it's like they're yacht owners elbowing each other at
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Monaco Happy Hour. I'll see your rolex and raise you
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: a Toyota Tacoma. What so here as we wind down,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: twenty twenty five, we reached full absurdity. Brock Party Brock Perty,
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: the forty nine er quarterback who I believe is a
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: brand ambassador for Toyota handing out trucks now. Last year
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: he handed out a bunch of cars to his teammates.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: This year it's families in Need, which is genuinely kind.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I'm not here to say that that's not kind. It's
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: also filmed, edited, packaged, released in a neat bow with
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: background music that sounds like a pharmaceutical commercial. Just have
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: to add to tagline. Ask your doctor if generosity is
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: right for you. Josh Allen gave the Bills offensive line
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: a quarter of a cow.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: We talked about that.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Spaccoli said, that's one hundred to one hundred and fifty
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: pounds of meat. Still, why not just buy the whole cow?
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Why only a quarter? I bought a cow, or just
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: say you bought a cow. It's not a gift, it's
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: it's a ranch. Just give the person the ranch. That's
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: not a stocking stuffer. By the way, that's some kind
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: of agriculture policy. I don't know what it is, but
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: that cow has more job security than the most NFL
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: running backs, and we know where that cow is getting
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: end up. Jared Goff of course had to announce it.
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: He gave luxury golf carts to his buddies. There Aaron
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Rodgers of the Steelers gave out some kind of luxury
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: off road vehicle. So nothing says thanks for protecting me,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: like a vehicle like that. That golf cart thing like
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: a vehicle. You use that to walk, you know, to
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: save twelve steps. I'm going to take my golf cart.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: I do love the visual, though offensive linemen for the
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: Lions riding around like their retired Florida snowbirds in their
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: golf cart on some little island off the coast of Florida.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: And then there's Patrick Mahomes, who what a humdinger, Good
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: old Patrick Mahomes. Here Mahomes went full black Friday at
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: the Mall of America. Luxury watches were with more than
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: some people's homes, e bikes, indoor golf simulators, headphones, AI, sunglasses,
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: I'm not done suitcases. It looked like the prize table
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: backstage at the price is right, we can bring back
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Bob Barker and it's like he had a Super Bowl
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: ring or something like that. But everyone pretends that this
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: is about gratitude and not about branding. And this is
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: another one of those parts of the story that makes
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: me a little.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Itchy and scratchy.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Itchy and scratchy, because none of this, none of these things,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: is really for the linemen. They're already rich, they can
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: buy whatever they want, they're already set. This is not
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: back in the old days in the NFL when guys
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: had jobs in the off season. They're already driving nicer cars.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: And I'll ever even put my nose in. This isn't generosity.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: It's pageantry. It's gratitude, kabuki theaters what it is. It's applause, farming,
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: all of that. It's charity, wearing shoulder pads and yelling.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: Don't forget to tag me. If you want to do
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: something meaningful, if you really do, and it's great, you
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: should do that, do it quietly. Pay off someone's mortgage
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: you got the money, help a family who will never
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: know your name, write a check, and don't tell the internet.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: That's real generosity. It can be done, it was done
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: for hundreds and hundreds of years.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: That's doing the right thing. When there's no scoreboard.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: That's how that's how you get it done instead, Well.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: What about the algorithm. I get rewarded by the algorithm.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't reward me with the algorithm. I want to
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: be rewarded by the algorithm. That's the problem.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: We've turned kindness into content, compassion into a clip on
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: the internet, a highlight reel. Every good deed needs a
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: drone shot and a slow motion hug. Now, no one
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: is more egregious in this department than Russell Wilson. Now
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Russ is no longer a starting quarterback, so I assume
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: he doesn't have to worry about getting gifts. But Russ,
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: he always had a camera crew.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: He used to go to the.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: Children's hospital all the time. And how do we know that?
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Because he always had a camera guy. He had a
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: lighting guy, a sound guy, a makeup team.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So it seemed, and.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: You want to do that, but you want people to
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: hear about it because of word of mouth. Like Kobe
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Bryant when he died burned up in the helicopter crash,
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: all these stories came out that Kobe would quietly go
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: to hospitals around southern California and elsewhere to see kids.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: He did not have a camera crew. He didn't post
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: about it on social media. Ninety five percent of the time,
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: he just did it. It was a good deed that
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: needed to be done. You didn't need to get a
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: drone shot and a slow motion hug shot.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: You didn't need that.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Santa Claus Force now has an agent. And look, I'm
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: not saying. I'm not saying these quarterbacks are bad people.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I'm not, and you can take me out of context
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: if you want. They're not villains. They are just products
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: of the zeitgeist of the times. This is the system
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: that confuses attention with impact. And it's not just in sports,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: but we do a plausibly a sports show where it's
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: where charity without witness doesn't count. These guys have been
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: raised that way. I was raised differently. Who knows who's right.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I believe I'm right they were raised. We're giving quietly
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: feels like a missed opportunity in today's NFL. If a
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: good deed happens and nobody posted, did it even happen?
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: That's the silliness of this. Because generosity should not sound
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: like a press conference. It shouldn't need graphics a chiron,
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: it shouldn't trend. The best charity doesn't spike engagement, it
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: changes lives in silence, less ring lights, and more heart.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: The loudest kindness is usually the emptiest and the real
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: good stuff that happens off camera when no one's watching.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: We know we are in the minority, but that's just
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: my position turning the page. So by request, several of
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: you emailed me this week saying, can you tell me
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: more about the party? I like the photos. We did
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: post some photos. Thank you for liking the photos. A
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: few of you took shots at me. That's fine, but
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: we did post some photos on Instagram and Facebook, so
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: check that out. But it was that time of the
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: year when the calendar exhales, when the days feel like
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: a jukebox stuck on nostalgia, and when grown adults convinced
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: themselves that calories are merely a suggestion. We must celebrate
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: good times. Come on now, gota celebrate. So as twenty
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: twenty five wobbled towards the exit and just memory like
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: a barb patron wobbling out who insists he's fine to drive,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: and we decided to throw a party now, not just
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: any party, a rebrand because if you don't evolve, you fossilize,
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: someone said somewhere along the way, and nobody. Nobody wants
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: to be a pain in the tukis and be a
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: dinosaur in an ugly sweater. So thus the malar ugly
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: Sweater Christmas Party was officially retired to mothballs. Its number
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: was raised to the rafters high above the garden, replaced
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: by the Mallard Christmas pajama jam, which is a fancy
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: way of saying, show up dressed like you've already given
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: up on the day. Pajamas. Now I've seen kids today
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: they go to school in pajamas. That was not allowed
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: back in my day. Pajamas. If you want in pajamas,
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: they'd send you home. Now they encourage it. Pajamas are honest.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Pajamas tell the truth. Pajamas say I am here for comfort,
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: not for your approval. Ugly sweaters were so twenty twenty
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: four and before pajamas are the future soft forgiving the
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: elastic waistband comfort when you eat too much. Leading up
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: to last weekend, it was part already prep Central, which
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: means activating Benny the Baker, a man who treats dessert
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: like Michael Angelo treated marble. Benny the baker obsessed with baking.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Now we went deep in the recipe bag, the one
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: that has flour stains and emotional support. Butter turning the
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: butter cookies in the air, ev or you wear homemade
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: chocolate chip. We had sprinkles, the Christmas and Hankkah varieties,
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Honeka for the tribe, white chocolate, macadamia nut Mallard style.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Those are my favorite.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Blueberry blast cookies with real blueberries that looked innocent but
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: packed a surprise, like a trick play on a third
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: and short, the old hook and ladder, and the crown
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: jewel of the cookie parade, the malar Oui gooey cinnamon
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: roll cookie, which is essentially a cinnabn. It's basically cinnabon
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: after grad school, little chunks of the middle part of
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: the cinnamon.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Role mixed in the cookie.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: And these weren't cookies so much as a baked philosophy
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: chunks at just those matching those ooi gooey chunks of
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: cinnamon role mixed right from the center.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Man' is that good?
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: That's not subtle, that's not apologetic, that's decadence with its
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: chest out brownies followed, because sometimes you just need a
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: classic rock song to balance the playlist, and there's nothing
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: quite as classic then A big plate of delicious Giridelli
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: brownies from Danny's family business, and just absolutely wonderful, just
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: absolutely great. Now for the main food event, I did
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: what any rational middle aged person would do.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: I left early.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: I hopped into the malamobile and went turbo time and
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: drove until I reached the Holy Land, the mecca raising canes,
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: ding ding ding, ding ding, And I returned in the
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: malamobile with not one, not two, but three bags the
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: size roughly, I don't want to be too dramatic here,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: the size of the state of Rhode Island, filled with
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: chicken fingers, so pleasant and so plentiful, they made everyone smile.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: They actually required their own sensus. They were so big.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: And you know it's a big party when you're dusting
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: off the credit card for hundreds of pieces of finger
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: licking Sorry, KFC, this is finger licking chicken. Of course,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: it's chicken fingers. Now, Cane sauce flowed like a river
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: of dreams. I'm pretty sure that they gave me a
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: lifetime supply, or at least enough to survive a mild apocalypse.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: So if we have another pandemic, you all are on
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: your own. You can go get your water, and you
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: tore the paper and your little mask and knock yourself out.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna enjoy my lifetime supply of Caine's Caniac sauce.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: My wife, meanwhile, she executed her signature move at these parties.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: The nacho bar. That's our fastball.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: That's the gas tortilla chip stacked as tall as the Himalayas,
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: toppings everywhere, a choose your own adventure of melted cheese
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: and optimism. Add in random snacks such as m and
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: ms and pretzels orbiting the room like asteroids, and suddenly
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: the house felt like a cruise ship.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Now I've never actually been.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: On a cruise ship other than the Queen Mary, but
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: in my head from those that have gone, they tell
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: me that it's just gluttony.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: It's just gluttony, and so we had that.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: It was like a cruise ship buffet where discipline goes
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: to die, goes to die. The alcohol situation, let's call
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: it what it is. It was temptation island is what
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: it was. You got whiskey to the right vocular the left.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: You got gin in the middle and bourbon in the air.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Everywhere there was beer stacked like sandbags. In case there
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: was a flash flood. You had mixers standing by like
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: cranberry and orange for support.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Now radio people those are my people, and law enforcement
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: those are my wife's people.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: They don't just sip. They commit all.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: They go for it. Our party philosophy is simple. It's
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: carved into the stone tablets, Eat, drink and be merry
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: for tomorrow we may die. I still intermitte fast, even
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: over the holidays.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I do. I don't pause that. I still do it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: However, I do believe in the mantra are aa mantra
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: rare and appropriate. Rare and appropriate feasting isn't just allowed,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: it is encouraged.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: You gotta do it. It's like, you know, everyone's a babushka.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: You got to eat your finish your food, finish your
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: enjoy life before the pearly gates start checking ideas. All
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: right now, the guest list was a beautiful melting pot,
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: not cheese fondue.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: Not cheese fondu. Something better, something better.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: We've had a bunch of different eras of my career
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: been at Fox Sports, radio for over twenty five years,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: and all of these different eras of Fox Sports Radio
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: blending together like a playlist on shot.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: You had the radio lifers like me.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: You had people that are no longer in radio, that
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: used to be in radio, people that did their time,
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: are retired now old friends, relatively new friends. People who
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I've done shows with, people I've never did shows with,
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: people who I've shared studios. As I said, microphones, dead air, cockroaches,
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: parachuting down, parachuting down from the ceiling. One of the
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: highlights was Bobo on the radio, who drove from what
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: felt like a million miles away. I haven't seen Bobo
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: in a while, despite having a newborn baby a at home. Now,
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: let me tell you something. I want to bring this up.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: That's commitment. Most people have kids. I'm convinced specifically to
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: avoid parties. I would do it too. It's the nuclear option,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: It's the get out of party free clause. And Bobo
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: went above that. I remember Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: It is that famous things that you can't question the
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: kid card, right, Oh, I have a kid, can't go
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: to the party, right, And so for Bobo to have
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: that in his pocket and I don't even see him
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: on a day I don't work with any and for
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: him not to play it Hall of Fame Bobo on
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: the radio Hall of Fame.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Seriously, I was like, so cool.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: So many people I know that I can't go, I
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: got a kid, whatever, and I'm like, what.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: I'm fine, But here's Bubba's I want to go. I
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: want to hang out.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: So the competitive peak of the night came courtesy of
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: a game called Left Right Center. I've talked about it before.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Left Right Center a game so pure it laughs. At Intelligence,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: we busted out old poker chips like sacred artifacts. Now,
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: it doesn't matter if you're sober, sober, little tipsy, little tipsy,
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: or floating somewhere above the room. You could have an
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: IQ of forty or be the valed Victorian of Harvard.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. The game does not discriminate. Chaos is
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: the great equalizer. So we played that. We had a
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: we had a good game. Rob Parker was there, Jason Smith,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Mike Harmon, Bobo, a bunch of people, and the Clipper
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: game was flickering on the TV in the background noise
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: until it wasn't The morbid Clippers having a miserable season.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Throwback Season took care of business. They silenced the Laker
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: fans who have been chirping so much this year. Purple
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: and Gold historians left with nothing but excuses and empty cups.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: I kind of enjoyed that, not that I paid much
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: attention to the game now, as an introvert by nature,
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: a social camel. That's right, I am a camel, a
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: social camel who prefers small SIPs. This is an awkward night.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: The malar used to be ugly sweater party. Now it's
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: the pajama jam. However, for a few hours I shell
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: that and became a pinball. I bounced from conversation the conversation,
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: rickocheting off memories, telling old radio stories that range from
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: safe harbor for some, safer broadcast, and absolutely not can
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: never be told into a microphone. We time traveled salad
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: days many people call them. Not for me, no salad,
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: No salad was consumed mine where the drive through days,
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: KFC Burger King, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, in and Out, Wendy's
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: beef ball, cheese steaks everywhere, A culinary resume built on
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: asphalt and ambition.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Back in my big eating days.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: So the night ended the right way, sobering up, doing
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: the responsible thing, driving my friend Artie back to his
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: hotel so he could crash for a few hours and
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: get ready for the NFL. Because closure matters. So the
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: first ever Malard Christmas pajama jam thingamajig or what you
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: ma call it was a roaring success, a reminder that
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: community beats perfection, that comfort can be revolutionary, and that
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: sometimes sometimes the best memories are made in pajamas, holding
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: a chicken finger in one hand, rolling the dice in
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: the other and laughing like tomorrow is not guaranteed.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: I cannot wait.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: For the twenty twenty six version, although we have to
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: wait roughly a year. Same philosophy, right, same chaos, same sauce.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: Will it have the same name? Developing hot dot dot dot.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: Stay tuned, all right, have a wonderful Friday. Don't forget
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: about Benny Versus the Penny. We are doing this show.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: There are obviously games on Saturday. That's one episode. There'll
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: be another episode up later today that covers all the
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: games on Sunday, every game against the spread. It's Benny
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Versus the Penny. It's on YouTube global platform. Myself and
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: Tom Looney. We hope you'll consume the product and enjoy
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: the product. It was a lot of fun doing the
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: shows this week with Looney and again have more Fifth
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Hour podcast over the weekend, and have a wonderful day today,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: and we will catch you tomorrow. Tomorrow. I'm told it's
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: another day. I'm told it's another day. So what's Danny's Oh,
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: that's right, asta pasta later skater, But I'm not a skater.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: I like the extended wiener.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not all right. We'll catch you next time. Gotta murder,
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I gotta go.