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Ride the Message, Not the Script With Melinda Lee · Speak In Flow

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  Melinda Lee: Have you ever gotten feedback that you sound
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  robotic after a presentation? Or that you don't sound yourself
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  after a presentation? Today I'm going to share with you a story
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  that I had just experienced two weeks ago from Waikiki. Hawaii,
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  you'll if you're joining me on YouTube, you'll notice I have a
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  beautiful wonderful tan. Too bad my pens don't stay and also my
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  dermatologist really upset at me for ruining my skin. But that's
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  another story. Today I can bring you back the experience from
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  Waikiki that actually surprisingly mirrors the effect
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  of being robotic. And how that also translates into public
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  speaking. Splash. Suddenly underwater, I'm blowing bubbles
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  on my nose and I'm, I'm looking up to try to find the surface
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  and and then I get up and there's noise and waves
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  crashing. And I'm trying to look for stability. I see my
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  surfboard sWINTER. My surfboard and I finally get there and I
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  could take a breath. Where's my surf coach? There's that orange
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  hat. His name is he's known as a surf guru in Waikiki. He's
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  phenomenal been teaching 25 years he wears orange hat, so
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  all of his students can find him. So I swim to my surf guru,
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  and I get back there. And the first thing he says to me is,
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  stop overthinking. You're overthinking it. In my mind, and
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  I'm all I'm doing is thinking about, you know, my positioning
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  my feet on the board. Am I looking up versus looking down?
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  And there's probably underneath the subconscious. I'm afraid I'm
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  afraid of messing up. I'm afraid of falling. I'm afraid of
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  hurting myself. I'm not a spring chicken. I don't want to get
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  hurt. So I'm afraid I'm scared. And then so he says to me, stop
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  overthinking it. Look at your daughter, your daughter has
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  picked it up so quickly. My daughter is 15 years old. Right?
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  He goes today, you are her sister. You're not the mom,
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  you're the sister. And that clicked with me. Because then I
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  remember back in 20s. And even my daughter's age 15 I didn't
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  think about anything, I didn't worry about getting hurt, I
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  didn't worry about falling. And, and then that's what I did. So I
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  just let everything go. I let whatever go that he just taught
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  me to do. I had to just drop it and just go with my courage. And
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  get up on that board. And pretend I was 20 years old and
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  not be afraid of falling up be afraid of getting hurt. And so I
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  did that I got up on the board. And as soon as I committed to
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  that I was able to finally feel the board stand up, feel the
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  water, feel the water and it made me and then adjust and then
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  and then I fell. But that's okay, because I stayed up a
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  little bit longer. And then I got up again the next time with
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  the same mentality of courage and no fear and, and then I
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  stayed a bit a little bit longer after that. And then I was able
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  to truly feel the water underneath the board and then
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  pivot on the board. And then I finally coasted and surf all the
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  way back to the beach. And by the end of the beach, I was
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  ecstatic. I was happy I screamed. I was like the surf
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  guru was so happy and my daughter was so proud. And it
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  was an exciting time I had a lot of fun surfing and and again, I
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  bring this up because it's it's like presentation skills. It's
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  like delivering a speech. Speaking to a large audience.
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  Many times we can overthink things. So if you ever if
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  someone said to you're not yourself is because you are
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  overthinking things. You're either overthinking things are
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  in your head. And so what does that mean? When you're
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  overthinking it, you're probably deeply afraid. You're afraid of
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  being judged? You're afraid of you're gonna mess it up. You're
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  afraid there's some fear there. And then it translates into what
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  am I thinking? What am I saying? Am I Am I saying the right
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  thing? are they judging me? So you're thinking versus being?
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  And when you're thinking you become robotic? When you are
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  rehearsing and saying the words that you've just practised the
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  word, every word script by you know every word in your script,
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  you start to sound robotic, because that's not how you talk.
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  People don't talk from the script. When you're talking to
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  your friends. Do you know every single word that you're going to
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  say no. And it comes out beautifully. It comes out like a
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  conversation. And so when you are rehearsing your script word
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  for word, you're going to sound robotic because you're thinking
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  about the Word that you're saying?
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  Are you thinking about how am I sounding. And so all of these
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  are up in our head. And we don't want that we don't want you to
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  sound robotic. When you sound robotic people don't trust you,
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  people are not connected to you, and then you don't, you're not
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  influential. And then you're not building the team and getting
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  people to get buy in into your initiatives. And so we want you
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  to stop overthinking. And I'm going to share some tips with
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  you. Today, I'm gonna share four tips to stop overthinking stop
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  being in your head so it can be more in flow, ease and connected
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  to your audience. So here's the four. The first one is practice
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  from bullets. The second is get centred. The third is be present
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  during your presentation. And the fourth is celebrate your
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  wins. The first one, practice from your bullets. That means
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  use bullets speak from your heart. Many of us write out our
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  presentation word for word. And that is okay. So when you go to
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  get ready for your presentation, you want to write out all the
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  words that's okay, I'm okay with that. Do your research, get all
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  the data and write out the words if you need to, if that
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  supports, you just get it all out. When you go to practice,
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  practice from bullets, practice from just the key words from
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  your script, not word for word, let that go. That doesn't serve
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  you. It's like training wheels. So you want an even remember,
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  when you let go of the training wheels, it was a little scary at
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  first. But once you start getting into the rhythm of the
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  bike, you'll be okay. So as long as you commit to letting go of
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  your training wheels, and commit to practising from bullets, and
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  speaking from your heart, you're going to know it, you're going
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  to feel more connected to your words. So when you practice,
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  practice from the key points, and then the practice in front
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  of people, right practice in front of your friends, or in
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  front of a coach like me, some other coach that practice from
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  the bullets. And then to get centred before the presentation.
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  That means taking a moment to get connected to your heart, get
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  connected to your competence and courage, just like I did before
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  I got up on the surfboard, everything that he had just
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  taught me he wanted me to dump it out into the water, all the
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  moves like the stance, he just did let it go. So you had
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  already spent the time researching writing out your
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  script. Now I want you to let it go. And trust yourself. And that
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  is why I want you to go take a moment to get centred because
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  most people before their presentation, what are we doing,
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  they're reading their notes, they're rehearsing it word for
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  word, and then your that means you're going more up into your
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  head. And when you're more up into your head, you're gonna
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  overthink things. And you're not connected to the truth of who
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  you are the competent person, it's a feeling, I want you to
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  get connected to the feeling. And if you're in your head,
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  you're robotic, you're not feeling
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  so get centred. let go and trust that you know your stuff. And
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  then get centred, take 10 minutes to get centred before
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  the presentation.
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  Third, once you're in the presentation, and you're talking
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  and communicating and delivering your presentation, when you
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  notice yourself starting to speed up, you're talking or if
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  you're talking too fast, or if you feeling very nervous, use
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  your breath and get present. Getting present means going back
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  into your body. When you're nervous. That means you're
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  thinking and you're in your head, go back into your body by
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  using your senses, the five senses, Sight Sound hearing. And
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  so for example, use your sight i That's the first thing I go to
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  when I want to get present, I use my sight and I look for
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  something in the room that catches my attention. For
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  example, the water bottle, the red water bottle, the green
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  plant, Jessica smile, I can use my sight then use my hearing the
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  humming of the car that just drove by. What am I hearing? And
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  so that is bringing me back into my body and not in my head.
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  Right? You notice when I'm in my body, I'm using my senses. I
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  only can use my senses through my body. And so that will bring
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  me to the present moment. And when you're in the present
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  moment in your body, you're more connected to the people you're
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  connected to your heart. And so using your breath to slow
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  yourself down to allow yourself the opportunity to slow down to
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  allow yourself the opportunity to get present. That is the key
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  overthink gain means nervousness going into your body getting
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  present using your senses. Then the fourth one is, celebrate
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  your wins. How many times have we finished a presentation and
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  we're ruminating on what went wrong, what I didn't cover what
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  point I miss. We want to also include what went well? What did
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  I did I do, how did I feel and transition notice some courage
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  notice that you did do it, notice that you gave it all your
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  god it gave it all you had. So what went well celebrate the
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  wins, closing it out that way. So by implementing these four
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  strategies, tips, practice your bullets, get centred before your
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  presentation, state prize present, celebrate your wins,
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  you are going to move out of sounding robotic, you're going
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  to move out from overthinking and staying in your head during
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  your presentation. You're going to move out of that, and you're
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  going to transition into a speaker, a leader that is
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  connected, that is present, that is able to be with the audience.
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  And allow the audience to see you for your authenticity.
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  Because when you're robotic, and you're trying so hard to get
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  things right, like I did on that surfboard, and Waikiki. That
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  wasn't me. So we want to step away from being so perfect and
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  getting everything right, because that's not you, you're
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  human. So practising that four steps will allow you to move
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  more into humanity into a person that may be imperfect that may
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  mess it up. And that's okay. But the the truth of is, the truth
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  of it is that when you allow yourself to mess up, more than
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  likely doesn't even happen. And so it's a wonderful process.
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  It's a wonderful, magical phenomenon, that when you allow
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  yourself to mess up more than likely you won't. And so using
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  those four techniques will help you to transition into that
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  connected leader that is respected, that is heard, that
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  moves people that inspires people to act, because you are
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  human, and you are there, you know, you're there to support
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  them, you know, you're there to make a bigger difference. And
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  you're so connected to that, that feeling that passion that
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  you have, just like I did, when I was on that circuit, I was so
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  connected to just want you to be free, and having no fear. That
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  is more important than the words I'm about to say the feeling in
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  my body. And when that is exuding from every part of my
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  beingness people feel it, people feel moved, people feel you, and
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  you can feel them. And that is the connection, that is an
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  inspiration. And that is what's going to move mountains. So we
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  use those steps. We need more leaders to feel connected, we
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  need more leaders to inspire others. And so join me for the
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  next episode. And we will continue together to unleash our
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  leadership voices and make a positive difference in this
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  world. See you next time.