Latest / Family Capital Podcast / Family Office Advisory with Ben Cashion
Transcript
- 0:00Foreign.
- 0:03Welcome back to the Family Capital Podcast.
- 0:07This week, we're excited to have another guest.
- 0:09Ben Cashin from Cornerstone Coaching is joining us on the podcast.
- 0:12Ben, welcome to the show.
- 0:13I'm excited to be here with you guys.
- 0:15Thanks so much for asking me to come on.
- 0:17We appreciate it, and we've really been looking forward to this conversation.
- 0:21So, Ben, you're an executive coach, and you kind of.
- 0:23There's two prongs to your business.
- 0:25There's CEO coaching and family office services.
- 0:30But neither of those are really your origin story.
- 0:33You're clinically trained as a marriage and family therapist.
- 0:36So I'd love for you to just kind of walk through a little bit of your career journey, how you ended up in the space you're in, and then maybe share kind of some of the commonalities and differences.
- 0:45Because my guess is my wife's also a therapist, that there might be a little more overlap than it meets the eye.
- 0:50Yeah, that's right.
- 0:52I always say, say, Jared, that no one would ever do on purpose the career that I've done on accident.
- 0:59So really, if you rewind my career, I have two major experience sets.
- 1:03One, I was licensed marriage and family therapist for six or seven years.
- 1:10I was in the counseling industry for almost 10 years total and did around 6,000 hours of therapy.
- 1:18And you learn an incredible amount about human behavior and family dynamics and all the things with that kind of experience.
- 1:26And then the second half of my experience set was that after counseling, I worked for a handful of businesses this kale really quickly and got to be on the front lines of P&Ls and structures and systems and processes
- 1:40and strategy and operations of companies that are growing at a rapid pace and all the change and excitement that comes with that.
- 1:47And really, it was the coming together of those two experience sets that put me in a unique position to get into coaching and family office advisory.
- 1:57You know, that combined with my mentor, who is now my business partner, a gentleman by the name of Steve Graves, who'd been doing coaching for 25 years, all that sort of came together in a fortunate way for me
- 2:09to launch into the CEO coaching space and then ultimately start doing some family office advisory work as well.
- 2:15Ben, I love that.
- 2:17What would you say when an executive or a family office begins to engage you, what is the big question or problem that they're trying to solve when they reach out to you?
- 2:25It can be a handful of different things.
- 2:27We've all heard the expression, like, if you've met one family office, you've met one family office, right?
- 2:32Like everybody's different as far as, you know, our global portfolio, our assets, our family, our family dynamics, the way we think about investing, non traditional investing, generosity, everything's always different.
- 2:47But there are a few things that tend to show up commonly.
- 2:52One would be it can be quite challenging for a family to really get their head around what they want their vision as a family to be.
- 3:02Like, what is the purpose of the family?
- 3:03What are we trying to accomplish with the wealth?
- 3:05How do we think about the wealth?
- 3:08So vision planning with families is something that we do really often.
- 3:13A second would be, you know, the family dynamics bucket.
- 3:20For example, right now with a lot of, you know, the older generations of family offices, they tend to think a lot more in the world of traditional investing.
- 3:32What we're seeing with a lot of younger generations in family offices is that they are thinking a lot more about non traditional investing.
- 3:38Right.
- 3:39And so that's a dynamic that we have to learn how to manage in the family and we have to, you know, get, get aligned around how we think about as a family.
- 3:46And then obviously there's just, you know, basic relationship stuff that we have to work through in the family dynamics bucket.
- 3:54So that's the second thing.
- 3:55And then the third thing that I would say, Justin, is I call it broken bone syndrome.
- 4:00Like sometimes a family office is just coming to us because they've got something really specific that they've got to solve, they've got to fix.
- 4:08They've got the wrong wealth partner in place, they've got the wrong legal structure in place.
- 4:13They've got the wrong person driving the ship that, you know, the, the governance structure for the family is no longer working.
- 4:20They don't have a plan to, on how they're going to pass down anything other than the wealth.
- 4:25Like there's something specific that is a problem that they've got to solve and they're looking for somebody to journey with them for a season to solve that.
- 4:32Yeah, I love that.
- 4:33It sounds like you Yalls, you're brought in primarily from a reactive point of view.
- 4:39Hey, a family office has gotten to the end or they taken their best next step and it's kind of, they're kind of at a crosswords where they need to reevaluate.
- 4:46But maybe ideally the best, the best family offices are, are engaging you maybe early on, kind of setting that direction, casting that vision before you really get to that fork in the road and kind of have to do
- 4:56some cleanup.
- 4:57Resetting of expectations.
- 4:59Yeah, for, for sure.
- 5:00I mean, I've, I've got a client right now who had over $100 million liquidity event a couple years ago, and they are just now getting their family office structured and in place and starting to think about vision and
- 5:16the legacy that they want to create and how they're going to manage generosity and all those things.
- 5:20Well, they're coming together at the front end of that, and we're crafting a real vision statement for the family.
- 5:26And then we're going to organize our resources around those that vision statement and we're going to manage our partners according to that vision statement.
- 5:35So it is for sure good when we can get in on the front end and do that work.
- 5:39But a lot of folks are already pretty far down the road and we're going to have to jump into some of the messy stuff.
- 5:44Yeah, I love that.
- 5:45So you kind of talked about when y' all get involved or when you get involved, I'd love for you to maybe personify the family office or the executive that gets the most value out of their services.
- 5:57Maybe it's, hey, I need revenue of X or Y, or maybe it's, hey, actually that doesn't matter.
- 6:02I just need values, alignment or anything like that.
- 6:04So begin to begin to personify who.
- 6:06Who do you do your best work for?
- 6:08And, you know, what does it look like for those people that you're working with?
- 6:12Yeah.
- 6:13So I'll start off by saying this, Jared.
- 6:15You know, we, our best family office clients are our clients that really take the idea of stewardship seriously.
- 6:24Now, that's a hot buzzword in family office world right now.
- 6:27And everybody's saying stewardship, which.
- 6:31But our best clients, like, they feel a heavy sense of responsibility with the wealth that they have created or that they have inherited.
- 6:42And they, sure, they're going to do a lot of things to create tailwinds in their own life, to create great experiences in their own lives, and to take care of their family for generations to come.
- 6:51But they also feel some external responsibility to manage that wealth well.
- 6:56And I'm not just talking about generosity.
- 6:59I mean, there's a lot of ways that you can steward your wealth well in ways that impact people outside of your family.
- 7:06So that's one aspect of our best clients, is that they feel a true sense of responsibility with the wealth.
- 7:13Not just blessing, but responsibility.
- 7:17And then two other things that I'll just mention quickly.
- 7:20One, it's always great when you've got folks that are coachable, that really want some outside perspective and want some fresh ways of thinking about things.
- 7:28And two, the quicker we can get to articulating what the challenges are, the better.
- 7:34We don't have any interest in signing up family offices that don't need help, that have got everything going right, that are rocking and rolling on down the road.
- 7:42But most family offices have some real specific problems that they need to solve.
- 7:46And the quicker we can articulate those and align around those, the better.
- 7:51Okay, I love that.
- 7:52I want to drill into.
- 7:53Right.
- 7:53I think one of these ideas you're talking about, I think is so important.
- 7:56Applying a proper amount of weight to like the reality of, hey, this is a multi generational responsibility that I have.
- 8:04And one of the things I think we have seen with the families we work with is there's either maybe a two taking it too lightly of, hey, this is just a, this is just a bucket of money that
- 8:13can be spent, or hey, the, the consequences are too high.
- 8:16So I'm going to kind of hoard scare almost.
- 8:18A scarcity mentality begins to manifest itself.
- 8:21I'm curious for you and the families you work with, how do you get them to apply the proper weight?
- 8:25Because it is so easy to over index one way or the other.
- 8:29Yep, it's a great question, Jared.
- 8:31I could talk about just this all day long if you want to.
- 8:35We won't.
- 8:36There are so many things in business, in leadership, in life and relationships that come down, that comes down to our ability to manage tension well.
- 8:49Okay.
- 8:49And what you just described is the tension between an abundant mindset and a scarcity mindset.
- 8:57Right.
- 8:58For me to properly manage that tension well, the very first thing I have to do is I have to identify where my normal level of operating places me on that scale from abundance to scarcity.
- 9:12If I'm the guy that's going out there freewheeling, spending more money than I should, and, and we're not protecting our wealth in a way that's wise and we're spending more than we should be and all those things.
- 9:23I don't need to be worried about scarcity mindset.
- 9:26I need to be worried about abundance mindset.
- 9:29And if I'm the guy that's over here that's just building fences around everything and burying my wealth under a rock so that nothing could ever possibly go wrong and nobody's allowed to enjoy it, and I can't bless somebody
- 9:41outside the family and I can't create a special event for somebody inside the family because we got to bury everything under the rock, then I need to be worried about the scarcity mindset and I need to not be
- 9:50worried about the abundance mindset.
- 9:51And so you've got to identify where you fall on that scale and then manage yourself towards the middle of that tension, because that's where we find a healthy place of operating.
- 10:03Ben, are there any common denominators for families or family offices that are really doing well in accomplishing their biggest goals and purposes?
- 10:14Yes, there are.
- 10:18It really, and I don't mean, Justin, to oversimplify my answer here, but it really comes down to the basics, like the blocking and tackling of healthy relationships.
- 10:31I mean, this is true in businesses when I work with CEOs, but it's even more true in family offices with where we've got multiple family members involved.
- 10:41And so what I mean by that is, do we take the weight and responsibility of communication seriously?
- 10:47Do we take the weight and responsibility of clarity seriously?
- 10:50Do we know how to do healthy conflict well?
- 10:53Do we know how to do appropriate levels of accountability well?
- 10:57It's the basic blocking and tackling of relationships that creates the ability for our family office to function well.
- 11:06And when those things break down, that's just, you know, the, the results of whatever your family office is trying to accomplish is just a lagging indicator.
- 11:16I'm excited to, to get your thoughts on this, but I want to flip the question.
- 11:19So what are the common denominators when things are going wrong?
- 11:22If there is a family office that's sabotaging their ability to, to kind of steward?
- 11:26Well, long term,.
- 11:27There can be a handful of different things.
- 11:30You know, I'll, I'll take, you know, the idea of, of conflict as just an example.
- 11:37Right?
- 11:39Anytime we're talking about multiple family members within a family office, we've got loads of relationship that we're bringing into those conversations, and our ability to do conflict well becomes really, really important.
- 11:55Using conflict as an example, it's certainly not the only one.
- 11:58But using conflict as an example, you know, I've had family offices that were wildly conflict avoidant, right?
- 12:06They didn't know how to have hard conversations.
- 12:09They didn't know how to speak up when they disagreed about key things.
- 12:12We're working backdoor channels to try to manipulate outcomes in our direction instead of having the conversation as a group.
- 12:20And so we've got to teach that family how to work well together through hard conversations.
- 12:25The opposite is also true.
- 12:27I've had families that are addicted to conflict, and they have big, explosive conflict all the time.
- 12:34And we have to learn how to say, not every molehill is a mountain.
- 12:39We can have some calmer conflict.
- 12:41We can let some things go.
- 12:43We can learn how to focus on the things that are most important.
- 12:46So that's the type of thing that comes up pretty regularly.
- 12:50I would also say if your family is truly lacking a vision of the legacy you're trying to build, it becomes really hard to, to do anything in your family office.
- 13:02Well, I mean, it was, you know, if you, if you were a well trained pilot and you got in a plane tomorrow and you took the plane off, but you had no idea where you were going, you would
- 13:13not do a good job as a pilot.
- 13:14Right.
- 13:14Like, you just kind of fly around until you ran out of gas and you'd have to land the plane.
- 13:19You've, you've got to have a destination in mind.
- 13:22You've got to spend some time to really think through, like, what's the legacy we're actively trying to build.
- 13:27You know, so many family offices, one of the mistakes they make is the vision that they're, or the legacy that they're creating is just kind of an accidental output of the assets they happen to have and the segmented
- 13:41advice of the advisors that they have around them.
- 13:44And it just kind of spits out this output that they kind of feel beholden to at some point.
- 13:49Instead of really, you know, doing the hard work to craft a vision, figuring out where they want to go as a family, and then aligning all their resources to make that come come true.
- 13:58I love that thought, Ben.
- 14:00As a financial planner, I've seen it so often where one of the most difficult things to navigate financially for a family is divorce.
- 14:10And your background in marriage and family planning and therapy, how have you seen a marriage blowing up in the consequences or effects of that on the family and on the family office.
- 14:24Yeah.
- 14:25So, I mean, we can unpack the financial implications of that because they are obviously tremendous.
- 14:33Right.
- 14:34The financial implications of divorce.
- 14:38Divorce is extremely expensive.
- 14:41Nobody wins from a financial standpoint.
- 14:44I actually think everything else happening in a family is more interesting to me.
- 14:50But let me, before I get into that, it's probably worth saying the rate of divorce in our country, it has actually been decreasing a little bit in the last few years.
- 15:02But no matter how you segment the population, it's basically above 50%.
- 15:07Whether we're talking about socioeconomic status, region of the country, churched or unchurched, race, whatever, the divorce rate's basically above 50%.
- 15:18And so the very first thing we have to do is we just have to acknowledge the reality of that.
- 15:23Right.
- 15:23Like if, if, if, you know, you're talking about a family who has three adult children, the odds of Somebody getting divorced is extremely high, right?
- 15:31I mean, like the divorce rate's 50%.
- 15:34And so we just need to acknowledge the reality of that and not become overly emotional when we say we need to decide how we think about this and how we plan around this.
- 15:45So that's one piece.
- 15:47The second is one of the questions we ask family, office, clients all the time.
- 15:52And an exercise that we'll do with clients is what all are you trying to transfer in addition to the wealth?
- 15:58Right.
- 15:58Like, everybody thinks about the wealth transfer and you better, it's incredibly important.
- 16:04But what else are we trying to transfer in addition to the wealth?
- 16:08What characteristics, what virtues, what kind of work ethic, what thoughts about generosity?
- 16:15When divorce happens, it becomes extremely difficult to accomplish so many of those things that we're trying to accomplish, all the things that we're trying to transfer in addition to the wealth, it just creates tension, it creates disconnection, it
- 16:38creates all sorts of challenges.
- 16:41And again, look, I mean, none of us are immune to this.
- 16:45Like, the great couples, great individuals get divorced all the time.
- 16:49Like it's just a reality of life.
- 16:51And so we need to recognize how possible it is to happen to our family.
- 16:58And then we also need to recognize how expensive it is if it happens.
- 17:02And then the third piece is just, it becomes really difficult to accomplish a lot of those big dreams we have outside of the wealth transfer itself when divorce, you know, jumps into our family.
- 17:15I love that.
- 17:17And you know, it's one of those things where you have to build infrastructure with kind of the end in mind.
- 17:21Right?
- 17:22Like, like you talked about, hey, you know, patriarch and matriarch might have a very solid relationship, but my kids, I have kids and my kids are going to have kids.
- 17:29And if the statistics are there, the probabilities are there.
- 17:32So like, you know, it's tough because you need to need to embed some source of hope and truth, but also kind of infrastructure that how are we going to deal with this if and when it happens?
- 17:42Ben, I would love for you to kind of talk about, you know, build.
- 17:45As we talk about building infrastructure.
- 17:47What is kind of how do you interface with multiple generations?
- 17:50Right?
- 17:50Because it's interesting, you know, if I'm thinking about legacy and multi generational legacy, to what extent, you know, if major and patriarch are only the only people in the room, my guess is the probability of that legacy enduring
- 18:02for generations is shorter.
- 18:04So I'd love for you to just talk about, hey, to what extent are you engaging multiple generations?
- 18:09And maybe what, and what generation is usually the one that Brings you on and how do you kind of think about your role when there's multiple stakeholders, maybe even within the family?
- 18:17Yeah.
- 18:18So what generation typically brings me on?
- 18:20A lot of times I'm receiving a phone call from a couple in their 50s or 60s, their children are now young adults, and they're starting to have their most serious conversations ever about wealth and the transfer of wealth.
- 18:35And a lot of times those moms and dads are just going like, I need some help to get us moving in the right direction here.
- 18:46Going back to the other part of your question, I think one of the most interesting questions for somebody who's leaning into that family office space and maybe really trying to build out the infrastructure of their family office, one
- 18:59of the most interesting questions for them to ask and answer is how much do we want the different generations to overlap in their non personal, non family time?
- 19:15And so what I mean by that is, you know, as a family, hopefully we're always going to have this family time, right?
- 19:21Like our annual family vacation, Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever, whatever those rhythms and routines that we have as a family are, we're always going to have that time.
- 19:31So I'm setting that aside and I'm not talking about that for a second, but what I'm asking is within the context of the family office, whether that's an operating business or a generosity vehicle that we create, or we
- 19:43decide that we want to have a private investment fund and we're going to invest in a few companies, how much of that work do we want to do together?
- 19:51Do we want to go build something together or do we want to create a vehicle where we can each go out and kind of live our own more independent lives.
- 20:02That's a really important question for folks to ask and to answer.
- 20:08And you really can design for either.
- 20:10Both can be, you know, anything on that spectrum can be a great answer for a family.
- 20:16But I would challenge families to really think deeply about, like, what gives us the best chance of, of accomplishing our desired legacy long term.
- 20:27If you're a family that has pretty volatile conflict all the time, we probably don't need to go run an operating company together.
- 20:34Right.
- 20:35It might be good to think of a more segmented design of what we're trying to build as a family office.
- 20:44But if you're a family that works really, really well together and wants to crazy passionate about building things together, great, let's go do that hard work of building stuff together.
- 20:54So I think that part's really interesting and all of that points back to your question.
- 20:59Like who's in the room?
- 21:00How often are people in the room?
- 21:02A lot of it depends on what we're trying to build and how necessary is the involvement of each generation.
- 21:13I'll say one more thing.
- 21:14I know I'm yapping a little bit here.
- 21:15Sorry, you guys get me worked up.
- 21:17I told you I can talk about this all day long because I love it.
- 21:20One of the other challenges we're seeing pretty often right now is G2, generation two.
- 21:28If we're talking about young adults in their 20s and 30s, there's a lot of those folks that don't want to participate in a family office, or at least not at the level that mom and dad are hoping they
- 21:40will participate.
- 21:41And so generation two engagement, or a young adult generation engagement, is a question that we're hearing a lot from that older generation who's.
- 21:50Who's really starting to feel the weight of the transfer of wealth.
- 21:53Ben, I'm really struck by something you said there.
- 21:56I think it's easy or it's almost a temptation when you start to have these discussions.
- 22:01There's a little bit of a temptation to think that I have to create a family office that solves the stewardship problem in perpetuity for the next four generations.
- 22:12And you know, your idea of, well, hey, maybe your family should not be in an operating company together for the next several generations.
- 22:19Maybe it should be a little bit segmented.
- 22:21I actually think there's an incredible amount of wisdom that if you want to steward things, well, that is the smartest path.
- 22:28And some things can be accomplished on a stewardship level, which is such a broad term that can mean 10 different things.
- 22:34Some things can be solved inside of the family office.
- 22:38And then there's other things with stewardship.
- 22:41Just like Paul Gregory, who we had on the podcast a few weeks ago, he.
- 22:44He said there's other things that just need to be solved through parenting and through the parent child relationship.
- 22:53And it's interesting to think that the family office doesn't necessarily have to be a vehicle that solves every One of these 10 facets of stewardship all on its own, all inside of the legal entity.
- 23:06Yeah, no doubt about it.
- 23:08I agree with that 100%, Justin.
- 23:11The family office cannot, will not, and should not try to solve everything.
- 23:15I also think it's interesting.
- 23:16I'm thinking about two of my clients right now.
- 23:19One of them, they are actively building something new together.
- 23:24G1 and G2, G2 spouses, they are coming together and they've got a big vision for something they're trying to build together.
- 23:32I've got another family office right now that we refer to as a launchpad family office.
- 23:37They are trying to create a vehicle for each member of G2 to go out and launch with some tailwinds aided by, you know, the financial resources of the family, the network of the family, and some of the character,
- 23:49virtue things of the family where they can launch into their own independent lives.
- 23:54Well, with the connectivity of the family office behind it.
- 23:57So you can design for anything.
- 23:59You just can't design for everything.
- 24:01And intentionally designing for what works for your family is what's most important.
- 24:05Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's why this coaching is so important because it get back, gets back to the point you said where if you've seen one family office, you've seen one family office.
- 24:12Right.
- 24:12So it's like, it's really, you know, you can't tell somebody what to do, getting back to where you're going unless you know exactly what they're solving for.
- 24:19Ben, I'm curious.
- 24:20How do you, you know, how do you navigate this?
- 24:22Like as I think about this, I picture, you know, a family office with multiple generations, external stakeholders, accountants, CPAs, attorneys, advisors.
- 24:33Right.
- 24:34And then you come in.
- 24:36How do you, you know, how do you kind of make sense of this and create continuity just versus being, you know, another, another voice in the room that's pulling the family in a different direction.
- 24:44How do you kind of ensure alignment when there's so many different stakeholders and opinions maybe in, in that room?
- 24:50Yeah, well, first of all, you know, I hope for any family office advisor this would go without saying, but we work really, really hard to be great partners with the other experts that are in the room with the
- 25:01family.
- 25:01And, and so that's a non negotiable for me.
- 25:03If I got involved with a family and they had bad partners in the room, that just wouldn't be interesting to me.
- 25:11And so we work really, really hard.
- 25:13We get to work with some, just incredibly intelligent, creative attorneys with some great folks on the wealth management, wealth strategy side.
- 25:23And so you gotta be a good partner.
- 25:25And if you're not willing to play ball well with others, that's a major problem.
- 25:30You know, we do what we call vision discovery work with clients.
- 25:34I believe my job is not to dictate what the vision for someone's family office ought to be, but my job is to come alongside them and help them, help pull out of them the vision that already exists within
- 25:48the DNA and the fabric of their family.
- 25:50It's already there.
- 25:52We've Just got to pull it out, distill it down to what's most important, clarify it, sequence it, get it packaged up and ready to go out.
- 26:00And when you do that, you don't come in and offend other partners that are at the table because you're just coming in.
- 26:05And when you communicate that vision back to them, if they've been working with the family for five years, they're going to be like, yeah, that feels like this family.
- 26:13You helped them find their words for the vision they've been trying to build all along.
- 26:18And now it's clarified, packaged up and ready to go.
- 26:20So that's a key part as well, is just really coming in as the family advisor going, it's not my job to tell you I think you ought to go build this or operate like this.
- 26:31It's to help pull out of you that vision that already exists within the fabric of your family.
- 26:36I love that.
- 26:37Ben, how does a family engage with you?
- 26:40Meaning is it kind of a perpetual engagement?
- 26:43Is it for a season?
- 26:44What does the cadence look like?
- 26:46How does a family or a family office engage with you?
- 26:49Yeah, so almost every client that I work with is for a season.
- 26:56There are a few that we journey with for a long time, but those are really unique circumstances where there's just because of what we're building or the role that we play, there's a long term role for us.
- 27:12By and large, the majority of our work with clients is for a season to help them really figure out what's broken, what's missing, what's wrong.
- 27:26Actually, I'll describe it like this, to figure out exactly where we are in the current state, exactly where we're going to go in the future state, and then the roadmap to get there.
- 27:35I mean, that's what we're doing with 90% of our clients.
- 27:38So we diagnose where we are today, we do the hard work to cast some vision for where we're heading in the future.
- 27:44We build the roadmap to get there, maybe help them kick off that roadmap, maybe walk part of that roadmap with them.
- 27:50But if we do a really, really good job with 75 to 80% of our clients, we should be ending the engagement after 12, 18 or 24 months because we've created enough momentum in action that the family is prepared
- 28:05to launch forward after that.
- 28:06And then maybe we hang around in some sort of semiannual role or something like that afterwards.
- 28:13But we're not trying to create evergreen clients.
- 28:18We're trying to come in Drive great value for folks and then launch them back out on their way.
- 28:24I love that.
- 28:25I'm curious for you, right?
- 28:26Like, I love, I love the idea of, hey, vision isn't something I have to create.
- 28:30It's something that already exists within me and I gotta, I gotta pull it out.
- 28:34Since y' all are just there.
- 28:36Since you're there for a season, how do you kind of.
- 28:39There was this verbiage on this website, on your website that I love.
- 28:41You said formation over epiphanies, right?
- 28:44You know, a lot of times with kind of some of the vision casting, more strategic level work, it's really easy to come maybe at the end of this, hey, I come some core values.
- 28:51I have some words that kind of describe what we're getting at.
- 28:54How do you make sure that that manifests and really impacts the day to day, right?
- 28:58Like, it's easy to look at, hey, here's my vision statement as a family.
- 29:02Then how do you have it be as granular and practical, as tactical as, hey, I had these two investments come across my desk, A or B, and then using kind of the vision work to do that.
- 29:11I'm more just asking, how do you make sure the vision actually penetrates the day to day of decision making, just versus being some strategic thing that sits on the wall and.
- 29:19Sounds good.
- 29:20A couple things.
- 29:21One, it's probably worth noting that a vision statement doesn't have to be permanent and forever, right?
- 29:29Like we should, as life changes, as relationships change, particularly if we're talking about some vision that involves some young adults in our family as their passions and purpose change, we should allow for that.
- 29:43So with that caveat out of the way with, you know, if epiphanies, if information were enough to help people create change, we would live in the most healthy, robust, clear, calm moment in the history of the world, right?
- 30:04Because there's more information than ever, right?
- 30:06Like no point in human history has anyone had anywhere close to the amount of information that we carry around in our pockets all day long on a cell phone, right?
- 30:17Like, like it's crazy.
- 30:19So that's why we say we're in the formation business, not the epiphany business, is because if epiphanies were all people needed, no one would ever hire a CEO, coach or a family office advisor.
- 30:29They would just go into the, into Google and say, you know, help me solve this.
- 30:33Or they'd pull up Claude and say, help me solve this, and that would be it.
- 30:35And it'd be over.
- 30:37What formation is?
- 30:38Formation is the hard work of Staying with the right plan, the right content month over month for a season and watching it shape and turn things as we go.
- 30:51We say all the time we bring useful strategy, we bring thought partnership, we bring energizing hope, we bring measured accountability and we bring outside perspective to our clients.
- 31:03And when you do that, when you do those five things month over month, over the course of engagement, and it creates that formative change for people.
- 31:13I'm thinking of a client right now, a 35 year old member of one of my family offices that I work with.
- 31:18He's a G4 of a fairly large family, plays an important role in the family office.
- 31:25We did some vision discovery work about six months ago and recently he was talking about some of the decisions that they're making that are going to impact G5.
- 31:37And I could tell the way he was thinking about it was not anchored in some of those vision ideas.
- 31:42And so I brought that back in front of him and said we either need to change the vision or you need to change your approach to this problem because it's not in line with this vision.
- 31:51That's formation.
- 31:53Right.
- 31:56He knew what the vision was and he knew what the decision was, but he needed that formative process that comes from outside perspective of being brought back into that month after month, month over month in a way that
- 32:07creates that formative change over time.
- 32:09Ben, I, I want to have Jared, you know, ask our closing question because I'm fascinated to get your thoughts on it.
- 32:15But before we go there, where I think a lot of our listeners, you know, are going to resonate with this and want to know if, if they want to engage with you or follow your work, where can they
- 32:25do that?
- 32:26Yeah, the easiest way is ben cashin.com very fancy website that I, or, or domain anyway that I grabbed there.
- 32:34But you can go to Ben Cashin dot com.
- 32:36There's a form you can fill out if you want to get in touch and, and we can chat.
- 32:41I'd be happy to do that.
- 32:43I post a little bit of content to LinkedIn as well, but, but, but not a ton.
- 32:48Obviously.
- 32:49Most of the work that I'm doing is highly confidential and I have to codify stories and change, you know, aspects and things like that to protect the confidentiality of my clients, which I take really, really serious.
- 33:01But yeah, bencashing.com is the best place to go and shoot me a note and I'd be happy to reach out.
- 33:07Awesome.
- 33:08And we'll be sure to link to all those resources that you mentioned in the show notes.
- 33:13Ben, our Final question is kind of one we're asking all of our guests.
- 33:17So, you know, a lot of people, you know, when they start the legacy journey, they think about infrastructure, right?
- 33:22And they just, they start, start on the tools and the methods and all that stuff.
- 33:26But I think really, you know, kind of in addition to the vision conversation, you kind of have to ask some more existential questions first about where are you going versus, you know, versus what, what tools and systems do
- 33:37I do I use?
- 33:38So for you, anyone, you know, as you're thinking about a family or potentially advising a family that's beginning to think through and plan around legacy, what's one question that they need to ask themselves and answer honestly before going
- 33:52on the journey of, of building this infra and trying to build a multi generational legacy?
- 33:56Okay, I'm going to do my best to answer your question.
- 33:58I've got a couple different directions I want to take it.
- 34:01I think number one, Jared is just.
- 34:05It is incredibly difficult to actually be able to see and articulate the future state that you want to create.
- 34:15Right?
- 34:15Like most people can articulate their present state with some degree of clarity.
- 34:22Not a lot of people can, can describe the future state that they're trying to, trying to create with much clarity.
- 34:28And so, you know, not to beat a dead horse here, but it's just so uniquely important for family offices that they don't fall into the trap of just kind of these, these accidental, haphazard outcomes that come along from
- 34:44taking some wealth management strategy, taking some legal strategy, and given to whatever nonprofits happen to knock on the door and ask for money.
- 34:52We need to do the hard work of really crafting the vision of what we're trying to create, the future state of what we're trying to create, and then making sure we've got the roadmap and the right people in
- 35:04the right seats doing the right work to get us from present state to future state.
- 35:09And so that's the first thing I'd say.
- 35:15And then maybe it's a double click into that.
- 35:17But having the right people in place on your team is wildly important.
- 35:24The reality is, a lot of times the people that were right for the last season may or may not be right for the next season.
- 35:30So just making sure you're evaluating that.
- 35:34And then something that I alluded to earlier that I get really excited about with clients is just that really digging into that identification process of what all are we trying to accomplish in addition to the transfer of wealth?
- 35:47And I have a client right now where work ethic is the number one thing he wants to transfer in addition to the wealth.
- 35:56And so so much of what we're doing is geared around making sure that work ethic is transferred down through generations, despite the fact that generational wealth is hopefully going to always be there.
- 36:08And so answering that question, really getting serious about what we're trying to transfer in addition to the wealth is really, really important as well.
- 36:15Man, I love that.
- 36:16So good.
- 36:17Ben, you are a fountain of wisdom and we appreciate you and the work you're doing.
- 36:23And thank you for sharing just a little bit of your wisdom with our audience.
- 36:27We'll be sure to link to the resources mentioned and love to hear what our listeners think.
- 36:31Like subscribe Share ideas for future episodes podcasts@brownlingwealthmanagement.com thanks.
- 36:36We'll see you next.
- 36:41This podcast is for informational purposes only.
- 36:44Nothing discussed during this show or episode should be viewed as investment, legal and tax advice.
- 36:51If you have any questions pertaining to your specific situation, please consult the appropriate qualified professional.