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How to Interpret Non-Verbal Cues · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up and live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there and welcome back to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, I just want to take a second to say thank you.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've been listening to the past couple episodes, one of the topics that we really are attacking and trying to bring to the forefront is how do we become healthier, more effective communicators?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the last episode was really focused on being a good listener.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And today we're talking about how great communicators master the art of nonverbal communication.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Peter Drucker said, the most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So believe it or not, most communication is done nonverbally.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: The majority of what's being said isn't actually being said at all.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's being observed, it's being interpreted as people watch one another.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Our eyes are equally important to our mouths when it comes to giving and receiving communication.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: Our eyes see and interpret every nuance of the face as someone speaks.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Our eyes read body language and assess the environment during a conversation.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: So being able to read the nonverbal cues as well as interpret them and understand them allows for space to become a great communicator.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: So how someone behaves when they're communicating goes a long way to build their credibility or to discredit them.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: Watching and taking in nonverbal information helps determine a lot of what's going on that isn't being said.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know there are telltale nonverbal cues that reveal if someone is being dishonest?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know that someone smiling with your eyes can help ease, that smiling with your eyes can help ease a speaker's tension and make them more effective?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know that people who cross their arms are sending signals that they are disinterested in communication?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know that physically leaning into a conversation sends the message that you're highly interested in what's being said?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: These are just a few important messages that come from those nonverbal communication styles.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: So how you communicate with your body does tell people a lot about what you are saying.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And in the same way, how you interpret somebody's body language will help you make decisions about them as well.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: So if we're going to think about it, there's a list of ways that we use our bodies to convey nonverbal information.
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  SPEAKER_01: For instance, facial expressions convey interest, distance indicates your interest or comfort in the communication.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Eyes reflect our innermost thoughts.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Gestures and touch express confidence.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And our voice triggers confidence or distrust.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about those a little bit more.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about the face first.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Our face conveys emotions without saying a word.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Facial expressions are one of the ways that are key to review to reveal and review nonverbal communication.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: So what is being said is amplified by what the face reveals.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Great communicators have the ability to read facial expressions and to see inconsistencies between what's being said and what's being shown on someone's face.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: In the same way that communicators can manage their own facial expressions and be certain that what expressions they give off match what they're intending to communicate.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: So consistency helps build rapport and trust.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you've raised a teen, you have likely experienced that emotional zinger coming from the eye roll.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the simple act of rolling one's eyes conveys annoyance and distrust and breaks down that healthy communication.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: A wrinkle in the nose, for instance, indicates distrust or a dislike of what's being said.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Frowning indicates dissent or dislike.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Raising an eyebrow could indicate surprise or acceptance.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it, of course, as we all know, what a broad smile does to encourage somebody or to evoke the idea of acceptance or trust.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: So how open in terms, how open is your space?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: So healthy communicators indicate their enthusiasm by creating smaller space bubbles, so to speak.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: So being invited into somebody's space is a highly personal and positive thing.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: The closer two people are willing to get to each other, nonverbally, that indicates that there's enthusiasm and acceptance for what's going on.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: People who keep that greater distance between themselves are often sending that nonverbal cue, but they don't truly trust the other person, or maybe they don't really truly enjoy engaging with that person.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Also, standing in a power stance can indicate confidence, but it can also be conceived as trying to compete or gain control.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important to just assess how you're standing as well as where you stand when it comes to that the space bubble, so to speak.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Healthy communicators have a good ability to read the situation and the comfort level of those that they're engaging with to use space to improve the communication, to make it be a healthier communication style.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: So let's go back to the eyes.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Eyes are the window to the world, as it's or I think somebody hid one said the eyes are the window to your to one's soul.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: So when we really think about our eyes, they're part of the facial expression, but our eyes really do give us away.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: Our eyes convey interest, safety, concern whether or not someone is telling the truth.
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  SPEAKER_01: So experts in nonverbal communication notice specific signs that universally indicate that someone is being dishonest.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: They can also predict with high accuracy the outcome of a debate, interview, or interrogation based on somebody's eye movements.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: We can use our eyes to enhance our communication by using them in meaningful ways.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, for instance, looking somebody straight in the eyes can reassure them that you are having a favorable experience, but of course, not looking too intently, which might cause them to feel intimidated.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: In some countries, looking somebody directly in the eye is actually considered offensive.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it's paying attention also to just the dynamics of who you're communicating with.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: But eyes can be extraordinarily powerful.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just recognizing and great communicators know how to use their eyes to draw people in, to hold their attention, but also without making them feel overly exposed or uncomfortable.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, adding positive facial expressions uh enhances the communication.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Uh using touch can help build rapport.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we live in a society where touch can be tricky.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: So it's recognizing when it makes sense and if it's unwelcome, obviously not to do it, but you know, just being very careful just with some gestures.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: So in the same way, some gestures can uh enhance communication.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um so just maybe a gently, a gentle um tap or something like that could help just when it's appropriate, uh enhance the communication.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's a non-verbal, uh, so that can just help.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then the last one there is to um, or actually there's two more.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Your voice says it all.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's about the tone of your voice, paying attention to the your tone as you're speaking.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um sometimes it's um, you know, we'll say don't email really important conversations because tone can sometimes really help the conversation.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: If we don't have the ability to hear the tone of somebody's voice, which is really nonverbal when we think about it, it's a tone, it's a it's a sound, um, it could it could really detract from the conversation.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because people can detect boredom, enthusiasm, encouragement, sarcasm, anger, and and disinterest all by the tone of somebody's voice.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: So simple phrases can be taken in varying ways depending on the tone that's given, saying, you know, I don't know can indicate many things based on the tone that it's delivered with.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um so great communicators can really um manage the tone in which that they're speaking, and they use the body language and the tone to compliment each other, build the rapport, build the trust, really using it to enhance healthy communication.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: So there are a couple tips really are to um lean in to people that you enjoy talking to.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Being able to is a simple nonver, leaning into somebody is a simple nonverbal movement that it just encourages the other person.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: It tells them that you care, tells them that you're interested in what you're saying.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Another tip is keeping good eye contact, using your eyes to connect with somebody.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent, excellent way to nonverbally encourage them or let them know that you're interested and that you are paying attention to what it is that they're saying.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, paying another um tip is to just do the right things with your hands.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, our hands can give us away.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: They can tell people if we're interested or not, how we stand, where we place our hands, where we if we're crossing our arms.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: So just paying attention to those nonverbals as well can allow space to create healthy and effective communication.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, these are just a few ways that nonverbals help.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that they're helpful to you as you are building the ability to um to grow your effective, healthier communication styles.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you would like to talk to me about what's coming up in your world and would like support around something like this or something else, feel free to book a time to speak with me at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, I am Comedy Wood.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com, or visit our website at www.comedywood.com.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.