Latest / Serious Beef Podcast / Nine Pickle Erika

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Nine Pickle Erika · Serious Beef Podcast

0:01
I'm Abby and I'm Anna. And this is serious B.
0:04
Welcome. I heard you audibly change your
0:08
voice because you went why I sell you such a dude and I'm
0:11
Anna. You said I'm hitting.
0:17
Play. I had to sound try to sound a
0:20
little bit like a. Girl.
0:24
I swear I sound like a guy Most. Days I think I said exactly
0:28
saying I go, I'm happy you remember, and I'm like, I'm
0:31
talking like this, but you're just like what?
0:32
God, I sound like such a dude and you don't first of all,
0:35
don't you're like, I sound like such a dude.
0:37
So what? A Husky voice going.
0:38
On and I record Man, we're here to sing.
0:45
Happy birthday to the president. That's not for all Dupree.
0:51
We can't say you. Can't say any more of that.
0:54
Oh, my God. OK, we're off to we're off to a
0:57
start. Yeah, it's good start.
0:58
It's just a start. It's we're off.
1:00
To a start, we're off to a start.
1:03
You know what and and I've been thinking about this podcast and
1:07
just how we work well together. That's true you.
1:11
Know where I'm going with this I.
1:14
Have no idea. I think that it's shocking how
1:16
well we work together considering you don't work well
1:19
with other. No, because that's my beef.
1:23
Others, it's really not. Everybody else it's not.
1:29
True. My beef.
1:30
Is with Microsoft Teams, so if you're listening Microsoft, go
1:34
fuck yourself. OK?
1:36
Because I freaking hate Microsoft.
1:40
I don't have any. Beef.
1:42
We send gifts and what not all time on teams.
1:44
Yes, and guess what else? You can send gifts all the time
1:46
on your fucking e-mail, OK? You can't send gifts in your
1:50
e-mail. Why can't you?
1:52
Well, because you'd have to like, go find it, save it, you
1:55
know, download it, then attach it.
1:57
What a fucking pain in the ass. OK, here's the thing.
2:01
Here's the thing, you're at work.
2:04
Why do you need to send a gift? I don't I I do.
2:08
Why you guys send emojis? Why you got to like someone's
2:12
stupid ass thing they said? I don't really like it, do not
2:14
like me. Not give me a thumbs up on a
2:20
message because then I'm going to get a notification that
2:24
sometimes gave me a thumbs up. Then I got to go and check my
2:27
teams and be like, OK, is this something important?
2:29
Oh no, it was just someone gave me a thumbs up.
2:31
I'm going to come over there and smack you like that, is it?
2:35
You know my work. Here.
2:38
Oh, no, it defenses a thumbs up. I like it because it allows me
2:42
to be like, I read your message. I do not need to respond beyond
2:47
this, but know that I gotten the message and I am acting
2:52
accordingly. Yeah.
2:54
Whatever, whatever. My balls, you know here, here's
2:57
the thing. Teams was working and then it
2:59
didn't work and I was so happy. Hallelujah.
3:01
We don't have any more teams. Teams is gone.
3:04
Somehow it's working again and Nate has brought it back and he
3:08
says to me, everybody get the teams up and loaded.
3:11
Here we go. It's going to be great.
3:13
It's going to be we're just going to have so much better
3:15
communication. And I said, wait a second, wait
3:18
a second, hold, hold your rule. Why do we need, first of all, we
3:23
need better communication. The first thing is why do we
3:27
need a second form of communication?
3:29
Actually, it's a third and and for me it's a fourth.
3:33
He says it's so much faster and we can get everybody all in the
3:36
same group and, and, and you know, and one-on-one message
3:39
thing. And I said, you know what else,
3:41
what else you can do that on Nate, if that really even is
3:44
your, your real name. Is it e-mail?
3:49
You know what you can do really fast and put everybody on the
3:52
same message? E-mail.
3:54
It does take longer. That it doesn't take that much.
3:58
I get most of my emails instantly.
4:00
I communicate mostly through teams and not e-mail because
4:06
one, I need those gifts, OK, I got to get through the day
4:09
somehow. And if me getting through the
4:11
day is me sending, you know, my boss a Schitt's Creek reaction
4:17
of of her saying like, oh, hey, I need you to do this, this or
4:21
this or whatever. And I send back a David from
4:25
Schitt's Creek going. That is disgusting.
4:28
I need that to get through the day.
4:30
I can't do that in e-mail, but. He was going to get me through
4:33
the day. He was going to get me through
4:34
the day. But gonna be no dumb ass gift.
4:36
There's going to be a picture of my boy Felix sitting right there
4:38
on my on my shelf. OK, I'll post a picture of
4:41
Felix. So you will call a scene.
4:43
I think we post. They don't call the sunshine
4:45
Felix for nothing. He will get you through the day.
4:47
He will get you. He will get you through the day.
4:49
He'll get you through. She says so.
4:51
Yeah. So now I have to open up my
4:53
towel because that's my phone. Then I got to open up Microsoft
4:57
Office Outlook, and so that's my e-mail.
5:01
Now I got to open up Teams. And then guess what happened the
5:04
other day? I was like, you know what?
5:06
I don't bitch about it. I don't appreciate it.
5:08
I am aging myself and making myself feel well, seem like a
5:12
grumpy old old lady and that's what I am.
5:14
But what ifs. But it would.
5:15
Cost. So I'm like, but you know,
5:17
whenever I am a team player, it's fine, I'll open it and I'll
5:21
use it, whatever. OK.
5:23
And so we were closing 2 loans, hadn't heard back from either
5:27
the loan officers. It's my job to upload those
5:29
loans and make sure they're in the system, blah, blah, blah,
5:31
blah, blah. I say send a message, hey, can I
5:36
up the loans? Getting late.
5:37
I'm going to get yelled at by the, you know, back office.
5:40
I got to get it done. OK, No response.
5:44
Do you know what I had to do? I had to text those gentlemen
5:48
and say, can I upload the loans? Then I got a response and so
5:52
then I sent a message to Teams that said Teams has failed and I
5:59
he's down. They sent it to TS.
6:01
No, I sent it to them on Teams. Teams has failed.
6:04
I thought you. Like found the Microsoft account
6:08
on Teams. I was like James.
6:09
Has failed me. Go kill yourself.
6:14
You've never invented this. Jump off a bridge now, but
6:17
literally something mentioned back tonight and it said Teams
6:19
just failed me. And then I exited out and I
6:21
didn't even open it the whole next day because I was pissed.
6:24
Because the 4th, the 4th way about that I'm communicating
6:27
with these people is by my own personal cell phone that I pay
6:30
for. No one else pays for it, but I'm
6:31
expected to, you know, text back and forth and because you know,
6:36
they're out and about making the deal.
6:38
It is what it is. I get it.
6:39
So for me Teams is stupid. Well, I can tell you right now
6:43
and unnecessary that Microsoft Teams was not invented by a
6:47
single person. OK, well, good, but that but it
6:49
was but it don't jump off a bridge.
6:51
It developed it was developed by a a Microsoft team that was
6:55
formed during an internal hackathon.
7:01
Hackathon is but the project. The project was led by.
7:04
Brian MacDonald. Brian MacDonald, you just make
7:09
the list. She's right.
7:14
Brian McDonald. Count your Days Betrayal List.
7:18
Brian McDonald. There he is betrayal.
7:21
List. Oh my goodness, he's the same
7:22
age as me. Damn, count your days.
7:25
This is impossible. This is a basis, there said.
7:27
This means a basis. This can't be the same.
7:29
This can't. Be the same Brian McDonald.
7:32
Oh man. So that's my beef.
7:35
It's redundant. It's stupid.
7:37
You could send me an e-mail, but I'm also having to sit by my
7:40
phone and wait for a text all the time too.
7:42
It's like this is a redundant amount of of ways that I have
7:46
and expected to communicate and it's it's because it's nonsense.
7:50
You would like the number of ways for you to communicate to
7:52
be somewhere around the number of 00?
7:55
Yes, I would like 0 communication.
7:58
Does everyone like you? Said also Ada.
8:00
Also Ada, when I'm, when I'm driving to to work, if somebody
8:04
doesn't get back to me, I'm going to fucking get, I'm going
8:06
to kill somebody. Also Ada.
8:09
I don't want to communicate at all if you people.
8:11
Don't let me know what's going on.
8:13
That's going to be it, yes. If you communicate with me, I'll
8:16
kill you, and if you don't communicate with me, I'll kill.
8:20
You, you're in danger at all times.
8:22
You work with me. I need you to anticipate my
8:24
needs. Before I even know them, I don't
8:26
work with children anymore. So I don't have to be nice.
8:30
It's so true. It's not true.
8:31
Actually I am very nice person. I am not customer facing nor my
8:36
child facing. Thusly I I don't do.
8:39
Diddly I I can just in terms of say to myself, I did say to my
8:43
manager or whatever that I like something about like I I always
8:49
like give them, you know, shit or whatever in the last you do
8:51
stuff. I'm like, no, no, I cannot do
8:53
that. You know, person I go do it.
8:56
But the the one time she's like, you know, she's having a tough
9:00
time with whatever thing. And so I didn't like give her
9:04
any shit on whatever. I was just you know, I was just
9:06
like you all yeah, I'll I can take care of it.
9:08
Do you need anything else to do that?
9:10
And, and she's like, oh, you know, OMG, thanks so much, blah,
9:13
blah, blah, whatever. And she, when I'd said to her,
9:17
I'd go, let me tell you something.
9:18
This is really ruining my curmudgeonly mystique that I
9:23
have that I've cultivated about myself because of course,
9:26
they're all in Kansas City. I don't actually work with any
9:29
of these people, so all they get for me is no.
9:32
No, I cannot do that. You know, it's funny because
9:34
it's kind of the same for me, although I'm, you know, I'm, I'm
9:37
alone in my branch and the whole loan hub is in a different town,
9:41
but they're 20 minutes away. So it's not, yeah, 10 minutes
9:43
away, whatever it is. So it's not like as far as you,
9:45
but yeah, I can sit over there and not quite.
9:48
I can sit over there and jokingly say, no, I'm not going
9:51
to do that. And and they think I'm joking
9:53
when in, in actuality I'm not. But I'll just let them think
9:57
that I'm joking. So that's our our beef.
10:02
Well, that brings us to our sauce.
10:03
OK, No, I don't think that this is actually correct.
10:10
Yeah, so I was thinking to myself, self, that you were
10:16
referring to teams as garbage. Some may even say Bologna.
10:21
So I wrote down it is Bologna sauce, but I actually think it's
10:26
like Bolognese BLLOGN. I read it on the screen.
10:32
I went, it's Bologna sauce. I was like, oh, that's really
10:34
good, da, da, da, da. And then I the long run was
10:36
like, it's definitely like Bolognese.
10:38
Yeah, yeah. You know.
10:39
What bolognese sauce is ketchup? So it's Bolognese, OK,
10:47
Bolognese. Not to be confused with Bologna.
10:50
I don't know who would do that mix up.
10:52
I don't. Know that would be that's crazy
10:54
talk. We would never do that.
10:56
Hey, listener posted it Abby here.
10:58
I realized after we stopped recording that we've already
11:02
used Bolognese sauce, as I've been informed it's pronounced.
11:06
So the sauce this week is actually failure sauce, which is
11:10
a culinary mistake where sauce doesn't turn out as intended,
11:14
much like our sauce this week. But I did tell.
11:16
So I think I I started to tell you that.
11:21
Potential listener Erica. Yes.
11:23
That are she's like, oh, I'm all cut up on my other podcast.
11:27
And so and so I was giving her hell and I told her I was like,
11:30
oh, so now you're desperate, you're desperate.
11:31
So you're desperate for something.
11:32
And she goes, no, but so now I had said, Oh, well, I actually,
11:39
I said, I mentioned you on a previous episode because I was
11:43
talking about how we had painted these pumpkins, right?
11:49
And it was on the previous episode, listener.
11:51
So if you listen to that last one and you're like, Oh my God,
11:53
they painted the pumpkins. And I referred to her as
11:55
potential listener Erica, because I go, I, I told Erica I
11:58
go, I didn't know if you'd actually listen to any episodes,
12:00
so I couldn't call you listener Erica yet.
12:03
And she goes right, exactly. And so she goes, I'm going to go
12:09
listen for the shout out. Everybody thinks it's a shout
12:12
out. I was like gossiping about my
12:15
gossiping about our work. Oh, a shout out.
12:19
It is, it is. It is a shout.
12:21
Out that one is a shout out. We did not call our any.
12:23
Band no potential listener, Erica.
12:25
And we busted our asses to paint those pumpkins.
12:30
And I have an update because the Pumpkin meet committee
12:33
committee, the Pumpkin committee did meet and they made a
12:36
decision. Deadly.
12:38
That's what we got. Deadly squat we didn't even
12:41
place. Which was ridiculous out
12:44
outrageous. Have you seen the other pumpkins
12:46
that didn't place? Yes.
12:50
I haven't seen them. I know.
12:51
OK, I didn't forget. This.
12:52
I think that yours was better than them.
12:56
They're all special. We are all winners.
13:01
No, the one that won was like a it looked like a Dunkin' Donuts
13:05
box, and they had painted these like pumpkins to kind of look
13:09
like Donuts. And then just place them in the
13:10
box. Yeah, well, that's two ways.
13:12
Way too easy. I know I was like, man, if I'm
13:14
known, that's all it took. Why the fuck did I spend 6 hours
13:17
paying my fucking Mario pumpkins?
13:21
I feel like we got jumped a little bit there, somebody else.
13:24
And then they had like Sesame Street, they had taken these
13:26
three pumpkins and then like a Elmo, a Cookie Monster, and
13:30
maybe an Oscar the Grouch or something like that.
13:32
And they'd cover them in like, some kind of fuzzy material.
13:36
You're just saying the pumpkin itself was covered in this fuzzy
13:38
material. And then they had, like, a mouth
13:40
and they put eyeballs on top. Oh, it wasn't painted.
13:42
Well, I'm just like, it wasn't painted.
13:45
That's not painted. No.
13:47
Wow. But you know, what do I know?
13:51
They were cute. I think that mine required a
13:54
little more effort. They were fine.
13:58
And I'm not mad about it, but I was mad about it.
14:01
Mad's the wrong word. I was disappointed.
14:03
Yes, Sir, I was disappointed. Not that those pumpkins were bad
14:07
by any means, but I did want to win that free lunch.
14:09
Not. And then again, I've not
14:11
actually confirmed that anyone want a free lunch.
14:13
We. Don't even know what the prize I
14:14
don't. Know what the prize is?
14:15
We. Might have just got a hard.
14:19
Slap on the back, we don't know. That's what I'm saying.
14:22
I don't know. But so I found that news out on
14:24
the the Monday after Halloween. Disappointed, disappointed,
14:29
disappointed. Did you take all those pumpkins
14:31
and just take them out back and smash?
14:33
Them we, we had, we had toss them immediately.
14:35
They immediately got gross because, again, we didn't
14:37
actually scoop out any of the pumpkin guns because we didn't
14:40
have time for that, No. There was some time.
14:42
So then they sound like that over the weekend.
14:44
Just Goldston had to go. Yes.
14:47
Now I will say, though, that a lot of myself worth was tied to
14:52
that pumpkin painting contest, you know, so unfortunately we
14:55
didn't win. So it was, you know, we I was in
14:56
a low place. So the chili cook off was then
15:00
two days later, that's true, that's true.
15:02
So I put all myself worth back into the chili cook off.
15:07
I was like, now if I don't win, we're going to be in a bad
15:09
place. OK, OK, that's not true.
15:11
That's actually genuinely not true.
15:13
I did have some pressure going into the chili cook off because
15:18
I was bringing the white chicken chili.
15:19
Sure you were the only one. I was the only white chicken
15:22
chili is is true and but that what you can Chili has gone to
15:27
many at chili cook off. You know what I mean?
15:31
Like Sam has brought it every year to her works chili cook
15:34
off. Dad's brought it before.
15:35
I thought you said you'd brought it once.
15:37
I don't think I did unbelievable.
15:39
I just took it. To my work everyone loved.
15:41
It well, that might as well have been and I.
15:43
Told them don't even worry about having chili cook off because
15:45
it's going to win and they believe me so.
15:46
And then they ate it and they went.
15:47
You're right. You're right.
15:49
Well, I think that that counts. I had brought it once to a
15:52
previous job. OK and had won at that got my
15:57
golden ladle and so I was like if it doesn't win at this chili
16:03
cook off, I'm going to be the first Wilhelm to bring the white
16:06
chicken chili as seen on was it show me Saint Louis he's.
16:13
Beyond like 11:00 in the morning or something.
16:17
Yeah, as. Seen not a family recipe as he
16:18
don't show me St. Louis and the recipe.
16:21
I found it. They were making it on there one
16:23
day. You know, shows.
16:23
They'll do a recipe, whatever and I'm like damn that looks
16:25
really good. I went to the website and got
16:27
the recipe and I've been making it ever since and it is.
16:29
Really good. Very good.
16:31
Yeah. So I was stressed, OK, because
16:33
I'm like oh man, you were worried.
16:35
There was like 6 chilies and I was the only white chicken chili
16:38
and I'm like man this is tough because how?
16:42
It's not a traditional. Well, right, how am I going to
16:44
win a chili cook off right now? There were, we'll tell you,
16:47
there were 4 categories. There was the fan favorite and I
16:50
to me, I was like, that's like best in a show, right?
16:52
That's one everybody wants. Everybody there was.
16:58
Best in bold. There you go.
17:02
Right, right, OK, next time, next time, next time.
17:05
And they had most unique chili and I was like, OK, listen, if I
17:10
can take home the most unique, I'm the only white chicken
17:12
chili, I should win that one by default.
17:15
So I'm like, if I win that one, I'll take it.
17:19
Right? I'm going to call it a win
17:19
because there wasn't any first, second, third, right?
17:21
It was these are the and then there was spiciest.
17:24
I knew I was going to win that one.
17:26
Even though I used the regular Rotel and not the mild.
17:28
I was like, I'm not going to win.
17:29
I'm not going to win that one. If I.
17:31
Because I'm not spicy. You totally could make it spicy.
17:34
If you like that. You totally could.
17:36
And then the 4th category was best dessert.
17:39
Which is weird because one of chili who part of chili for
17:41
dessert. It's like a coffee.
17:46
Why is it? Best dessert.
17:49
It was because we didn't a bunch of people were like, oh, I'll
17:52
bring drinks, I'll bring desserts.
17:55
OK. So a lot of a lot of so some
17:58
people. Chose not to enter the content
18:02
the chili. Correct.
18:03
But they were going to bring things right, which was good
18:07
because it rounded out shout out to to Matt, who definitely
18:11
doesn't know that this podcast exists.
18:13
But he brought cheese and like sour cream and things like that.
18:19
Those were, those were very, Yeah, like shredded cheese,
18:22
vinyl, vinyl. We gave him an honorable
18:25
mention. Absolutely excellent.
18:28
But but yeah, but a lot of people Lisa brought like a
18:30
Kringle. You've ever had a Kringle?
18:31
No, I have not. It's pretty.
18:32
It's a Wisconsin thing. It's like.
18:36
What was a Kringle like Chris like?
18:44
Chris, it's like this. The one she she brought was kind
18:49
of like this. It's like a pumpkin.
18:50
Oh, little pastry. It's like almost like a little
18:53
strudel. Yeah, yeah, I didn't.
18:55
I didn't get any, but oh, somebody.
18:56
Ate it all. Well, no, no, I just.
19:00
There was so much food and I just.
19:02
I couldn't possibly. I couldn't possibly.
19:05
But Mandy. Listener Mandy who?
19:08
I know. Confirmed.
19:09
Yeah. Confirmed.
19:10
Listener Mandy. Hey, Listener Mandy.
19:12
There's no way you're caught up to here, But when you get here,
19:16
you know. Hey.
19:16
Hey, we she made these like apple pie is like a croissant
19:22
filled with like apple pie filling and such like that.
19:24
And then Oh my God, I'm very good.
19:27
I voted for her. She and she did take home the
19:29
best dessert. They were all homemade as well.
19:32
And Congrats and Congrats. Now, so here's the thing.
19:37
So I am, you know, I'm, I'm. Stressed you're stressing about
19:42
the chili, the. Chili, you know, I'm, I'm like,
19:45
oh boy, you know, I'm worried. OK, OK.
19:50
And so I'm kind of talking to people because I'm not above a
19:53
pity boat. No.
19:54
And I haven't even did some smack talk on the sign up sheet.
19:59
I did. Jim signed up and put down
20:05
because I put down, I'm bringing white chicken chili, right?
20:08
And the person above me is like, I'm bringing adobo chili.
20:11
OK, OK. And And he, Jim writes world's
20:15
best chili. Chili.
20:17
Yeah, and I bold, bold of you too.
20:21
So I wrote doubt and I put a long arrow pointing to his
20:26
thing. Well, then he went in there and
20:28
he wrote no above that, so no doubt.
20:31
OK. Good for him, good for.
20:34
Him. So then I went in.
20:36
I went back and went no way, exclamation point, doubt.
20:39
Period and. Had a little punctuation.
20:43
OK, OK, so so day in the cooked chili cook off, everybody brings
20:48
in their chili. Correct.
20:49
All right. And he, his, his was pretty
20:52
good. He had used like, Peppers and
20:54
tomatoes such that he'd grown in their garden.
20:56
Oh, nice. So it was all homemade there.
20:59
So some people came from the branch that's like across the
21:01
street. They came over to try some
21:03
chili. And I'm staying there.
21:05
OK, eat my chili. And watching people, watching
21:08
people, She's staring people down.
21:10
I'm like Mandy's like, yeah, it's going to be, it's all going
21:13
to be anonymous. Now, here's the thing that works
21:16
great for the five chilies that all look like regular chili.
21:21
But when I signed up for white chicken chili, they know which
21:26
one mine is. And she's like, well, it's too
21:29
late for that. It ended up being fine.
21:31
So everybody knew was mine, but I didn't care.
21:35
So I'm just, I know. So I'm staying there eating my
21:38
chili also. They also would have figured out
21:40
when they watched me shred the chicken.
21:42
Yeah, yeah, you gotta cook it. And shred it.
21:46
Yeah. Which I packed two of those big
21:47
forks to bring to you. And then pulling track of them,
21:51
still had no idea where they were.
21:53
I had. I put them in two.
21:54
I put them in a Ziploc baggie to bring to you.
21:58
Don't know where I put them for like, what was this chili coat?
22:01
It's been a while. Your dad just tasted me, Found
22:04
the forks. I was like, Oh my God.
22:12
Thank God, that was like new idea.
22:14
It was probably like 2 1/2 weeks ago, yeah.
22:15
Easily we've been missing. Those I like, I end up shredding
22:18
them. I had two.
22:19
We'll order Chipotle like the little buffet kind of thing for
22:23
when we do training, whatever, and then I get to eat the scraps
22:27
there leftover. I feel like a feel like a
22:30
medieval hunting dog. Laying on the floor of this
22:34
castle. Waiting for the trainees to move
22:37
through so that I too could go get a burrito bowl.
22:43
Delicious, delicious. Oh my.
22:46
God. But I so I go and.
22:49
So we have the. Leftover tongs.
22:50
So I had two tongs and I listener, you couldn't have, you
22:55
couldn't have seen. But I made the noise of my hands
22:57
like they're little claws, like little crab claws.
23:00
Yeah, because I had tongs and I shredded it that way.
23:03
OK, So that worked. That worked.
23:06
That worked a thing, you know. That I saw somebody just take a
23:10
hand mixer and stick it in the crockpot.
23:13
Really. And then just shred the chicken
23:16
with that. Interesting.
23:17
I wonder if that works? Well, you said you watched
23:20
somebody do it. It worked for them.
23:23
But I was wondering if it was AI or something because
23:26
interesting. But why would someone make an?
23:28
I don't know. This is going to get Anna first.
23:31
I'm always worried I'm going to get from.
23:33
You know who's making that? People who sell the handmissers.
23:39
No, they're making, isn't it? Then they release.
23:41
It's a fake video and you break your hand.
23:43
Mistakes. Oh, you've got a new one.
23:45
That's it. You're right because I was like
23:47
if I break my handmisser. Exactly.
23:50
You need a hand mixer. But one year I got a hand mixer
23:53
for Christmas. Was it from you?
23:54
It was some, it was from one of you girls and you were like in
23:57
college and had no money. And he was like, and I was like,
24:00
they were like one of you asked what I wanted for Christmas.
24:02
I was like, my hand mixer was in really.
24:04
It was probably had died and I needed a new one.
24:06
It was like the same 1 I had from like when I got married or
24:08
something. Yeah.
24:09
And so I feel like it was you that you probably just like, go
24:13
ahead and pick up, get that for me, from me, for you.
24:16
And so I bought my son a hand mixer, wrapped it and put two
24:20
mom from Abby for Christmas. A classic.
24:27
Put me down for the put. Me down for the hand mixer go.
24:30
Pick yourself out something. Use your Kohl's cash.
24:32
You should Kohl's. Cash, wrap it up and then put it
24:35
from me. Take the money out of my
24:37
account. It's the perfect plan.
24:40
It's the perfect plan. So I did I.
24:44
Did and no money was spent because it was Kohl's cash.
24:48
Well, so I spent money to get Kohl's cash.
24:50
But yes, true, no money was spent by me, and that's what's
24:53
gonna happen and that's what's important.
24:55
That's what's important is that. Guy from college.
24:58
It's true. So how did the chili cook off
25:00
turn out? Well, so I was stressed, right?
25:02
And some people I know, I'm giving Mandy helm.
25:06
Like, I really think that there should be a separate category
25:08
for white chicken chili chicks. Really.
25:10
Only one. I said I'm not above winning by
25:15
default to win. So I did in fact take home the
25:23
fan favorite. Jim won the most unique.
25:29
Oh, there you go, undefeated. Undefeated.
25:33
And the adobo chili took home the spiciest.
25:37
It was a little kick. None of them were too spicy.
25:39
No, you could have handled all of them.
25:41
Awesome, I think. And like, is it?
25:43
Mandy won. Best sweet treat?
25:45
That's awesome. So my self worth was restored.
25:51
I have my little trophies and these are all like little like
25:54
dollar store trophies and it was like a pack of 12 for $3 of
25:58
course. So I came in to work the one day
26:02
and there's a pack of 12 trophies sitting on my desk with
26:06
a little sticky note that the translation was help with the
26:13
exclamation point. And I'm like, what in the hell?
26:16
Mandy wanted me to decorate these trophies for the chili
26:19
cook off. Now I was very busy and so I if
26:23
Can you believe it, she. Was not a plant painting.
26:26
Nope. And I'm like I don't even have
26:29
anything to decorate. I don't know how to like, I
26:31
cannot draw a chili bean or it was not going to look good.
26:34
Hey, I tried a little chili pepper or whatever.
26:36
It wasn't good. And so we end up finding these
26:40
little like planner stickers and we kind of put those on 'cause
26:44
there was like a little fork and a knife and all that kind of
26:46
stuff. So we just put that on there.
26:48
So that's what we did. But and then.
26:49
You just broke. Did you write like?
26:51
The no fan favorite or whatever No because I tried to write like
26:55
spicy on one and because it's a curved thing it looks terrible.
27:00
It looks terrible. So I bailed.
27:02
So I, I, I did decorum. So I had, I was talking to
27:07
people as we're standing there and people are voting and all
27:10
that kind of stuff, eating chili and they're like, oh, what are
27:12
you going to do if you don't take home, you know, in a ward
27:14
And I go, I'll be honest. I got like 9 other trophies
27:18
sitting on my desk. I'll just take a photo and tell
27:20
my, I'll just lie. I'll just say that I won.
27:24
I'll just lie. I go, I made these ones.
27:28
Why can't I just make another one?
27:30
Now? I did end up winning and I
27:31
didn't have to lie. They're just very exciting for
27:34
me. But yeah.
27:36
And then we gave, I told you, we gave Matt like an honorable
27:38
mention. So the the trophy that I screwed
27:40
up riding spicy terribly, put a big X through that.
27:44
And then on the other one other side, I wrote cheese champ.
27:52
And so he I gave that to him. So he's got his little Trevi.
27:55
Well, he put his up with little like divider walls in our
27:58
cubicles, OK, And it's like a like 1/2 wall.
28:01
And so he put his little Trevi on top of his little half wall.
28:03
OK, well, I wasn't going to be outdone.
28:06
So now all my trophies. They're all so shoot, you lined
28:09
all ears out there. Not my first rodeo.
28:13
Chili cook off golden ladle a little stress ball.
28:18
That's a rock, and it says you rock what?
28:22
Was that problem? I don't remember, but I'm, I'm
28:26
telling myself now that it is sitting in place of the poster
28:31
competition that went on. There you go.
28:32
And then another, not my first rodeo trophy.
28:34
Oh, another one that yes wow you.
28:36
Have two, not my first. Rodeos.
28:38
I've been in fact, to three rodeos according to my trophies,
28:43
so I've got two of those up there.
28:45
I. Like Matt, you want to brag?
28:46
All right? No.
28:47
Listen, I think I think that we can start this, that everybody
28:50
can start putting their trophies up.
28:51
Yeah, for sure. But everybody keeps winning
28:54
everything. Ain't no black I know trophies.
28:57
No, it's fine. So, so yeah, so I did.
29:01
I did win. So I had, I had put down like a
29:04
list. So I had to give the pumpkin
29:06
list the the chili update list. Oh, what else?
29:10
I've been telling people, I've been, I've been, I've said on a
29:13
previous podcast about the license plates, right.
29:16
I've been trying to get every license plate.
29:18
OK, we're down to just New Hampshire and Vermont.
29:22
That's the last two you need. That's it.
29:23
And. New Hampshire you're never going
29:25
to get unless you go to. New Hampshire because those.
29:26
Fuckers don't leave the state and I'm just like.
29:29
They're not Vermont. Vermont, Yeah, but I don't.
29:31
Know what's going on with Vermont?
29:32
That's why you're up there, though.
29:33
You got you. Know you got to understand I
29:35
have Hawaii and and I've seen no less then 4 Alaskas OK I want to
29:46
know what's Vermont and New Hampshire's excuse there's.
29:49
No excuse. And why I could drive across the
29:50
ocean, man come. On You Ain't a Kid.
29:54
So that's what I got. That's your Those are my 3
29:56
updates. I've got a couple other things
29:58
written down here, but those are my updates all right.
30:00
Well, I've been wanting to share something with you.
30:02
Oh, OK, because I I thought this was really cute if you want to
30:06
hear about. It I do, I'm writing down two
30:08
things that I know we'll need pictures.
30:09
For later. Oh, OK, good for you.
30:11
Yeah, I wrote down Felix. I'm just going to post a whole
30:13
bunch of Felix. There's nothing else.
30:15
Does everybody else just bug her off?
30:17
And this person posted that she recently saw a TikTok where a
30:26
woman asked her girlfriends or any any girls out there in the
30:29
world the girl. In the room.
30:30
What are some things you do that are whimsical?
30:34
Oh, OK. She loves knowing about these
30:37
cute little whimsical habits. And so here are some of the
30:41
faves that people responded. OK, All right.
30:44
One woman said her name is Grace.
30:46
I wear matching pajamas every time I change my sheets so I can
30:51
have what I call fancy sleep. I love it That's I have a thing
30:58
that goes with this I have. AI have a thing.
31:01
Fantastic. OK, Grace.
31:02
Awesome. Knock that one out of the park.
31:04
This, this lane, No name. I don't know who she is, she
31:06
said a friend of of mine taxidermied raccoons out of
31:14
roadkill. And then not very whimsical.
31:18
And then she creates scenes of them on adventures using
31:22
American Girl doll props. They are.
31:32
Ours are out. It was like, no, no hippie
31:36
stand. The burger rolled out.
31:39
So it's outstanding. Take a screenshot of that.
31:41
Take a screenshot of that because you're going to need to
31:43
save. Oh, they're on the scooter.
31:45
Yeah, it's the same thing on that side.
31:49
See how they're on the scooter? I had no, I thought there was a
31:51
purse. I don't know.
31:56
OK listener, when you see this, this picture is hilarious.
31:59
We'll absolutely pose it. That is hilarious.
32:01
Mr. When you see this, you're going to know that it's a
32:02
scooter immediately. My eyes.
32:05
Are having. Difficulties.
32:07
All right, on to. This next lady I was blinded by
32:10
the raccoons. Caitlin says that she holds
32:12
office hours every Tuesday at a local coffee shop, which means
32:16
that I sit on the couch and order drinks for four to five
32:20
hours while various friends and acquaintances visit me to yap
32:24
about books and gossip. Tuesday.
32:30
You know what? Four to five hours.
32:33
She holds her office hours because she tells them this.
32:36
We're going to be come see me. Awesome.
32:39
That's. Great, man.
32:41
You should be that. Good for you.
32:42
Good for you. We're supposed to serious beef.
32:45
Serious, serious. Don't be wherever we're we're
32:49
going. Wherever the fuck you found that
32:50
pumpkin beer. Yes y'all, we found out the
32:54
found brewery who did not is not completely out of business.
32:56
They do still produce pumpkin beer.
32:59
Vanilla pumpkin beer. I was told it was vanilla cup
33:01
pumpkin beer. It was delicious, I liked it.
33:02
I'm not sure if it was a vanilla or not but well either way.
33:05
And they just make it for the local bars and restaurants and
33:10
that's the only place you can get it.
33:11
Gasp. And I had some last night.
33:14
I haven't had any in here. There's literally a vanilla beer
33:17
up on top over my my bottle. Yep, in memorial.
33:21
I sent Abby a picture memorial. I sent a picture of it and it
33:25
says beautiful orange color. It was on tap.
33:26
It's beautiful and we all had one.
33:29
And she's just had a she's just laying underneath.
33:31
Oh, their mouth open. I'll be right back, ladies.
33:33
I'll be right back, lady. Lay under the tap.
33:36
OK, back-to-back to the whimsical.
33:37
OK, I'm ready. This lady says.
33:40
Renee says if I want to have negative thoughts about myself,
33:44
I have to think them in a cockney accent.
33:49
I can't even do a cockney accent.
33:51
What? They said don't bitch, don't
33:56
bitch. Come now.
33:58
OK, that's pretty much OK. Cindy says I save my lady
34:03
whenever I walk by a mirror lady.
34:08
A lady. Let's see, this person says I
34:11
teach the dog how to do things either to make them more
34:15
interesting for me, like let me show you how to start a load of
34:19
laundry, or just to make him feel included.
34:23
Oh, like do you remember how to make coffee or should I?
34:26
Walk you through it again. It's really good.
34:30
I know it's hard to remember since you can't practice without
34:34
thumbs. It's really good.
34:37
That's adorable. That's really good.
34:39
Let's see this one. This lady Lexus tells her dishes
34:42
that it's bath time before she watches them.
34:48
That's very funny, No, skinny Minnow says.
34:51
Whenever I drop or F something up when I'm alone I bow and say
34:57
and seen instead of getting frustrated.
35:00
I've done this for so long that I literally no longer getting
35:03
away by my own mistakes and I just slap and and bow and see.
35:07
OK. And see that helps.
35:09
You I've got 1. OK, go for.
35:10
It OK, this actually is the thing I wrote down.
35:13
So here's the thing. So I wrote told you about the QT
35:15
robot. Yeah, as far as write down the
35:18
words QT robot. Told me to write down QT Robot.
35:20
OK, cool. OK, the quick trip.
35:22
OK, has a little robot and it cleans the floors.
35:26
And it just scoots around on the on the oh, there he.
35:29
Is it the cutest thing you've ever seen?
35:31
He looks shocked always. He perpetual shocked face looks
35:34
very excited right now. Here's the thing, it kind of it
35:38
goes around and cleans and I'm don't, you can't really see.
35:42
It's like below your knee, right?
35:44
So it's hard to see. So it'll go, I clean the floors
35:47
and it'll just say that a little bit.
35:49
So anytime I'm going and like here comes the robot, I clean
35:52
the floors. I'm like, oh, excuse me, thanks.
35:56
That's listen, I say, excuse me to the QT rotor.
35:59
And don't get it. I thought it was going to be
36:01
more like a like a the little flat, like a Roomba, like a no,
36:05
no, no, no, he's a whole got a whole body and everything.
36:07
Yep. I clean the floors.
36:09
That's so cute. It's so cute.
36:11
I want a QT robot I. Clean the.
36:13
Floors. That's really cute.
36:14
That's really cute. Yep, the little, the little tiny
36:17
voice and and I'm like, that's hilarious at the QuikTrip.
36:21
I love it, this lady cat says. I tell my hamster not to answer
36:24
the door for anyone before I leave.
36:28
Don't answer the door. Oh my gosh, I wash dishes by
36:30
candlelight listening to medieval Tavern music and
36:33
pretend I'm a Tavern wench. I love that.
36:37
I'll tell you what I do. Anytime we have Stoop, I feel
36:40
like a medieval peasant. It's true.
36:41
It's. True.
36:41
Yeah. Yeah.
36:41
You got to eat them out of wooden balls and throw
36:44
something's nursing it back to help or something.
36:45
Oh, man, that's good. That's good too.
36:48
Let's see, let's see what is going on here.
36:52
I call my To Do List to da list and do jazz hands.
36:58
It's like take things off the list.
37:00
That's really good. That's pretty good.
37:03
That's pretty good. Let's see I say well, good thing
37:07
no one overreacted out loud to myself after a good cry.
37:12
That's really. Good, that's good.
37:15
These are good this way, says When I buy something online and
37:20
it asks is this a gift? I write a little gift message to
37:24
myself usually along the lines of you are awesome and deserve
37:28
these little. Treats.
37:31
Damn, that's. Good.
37:32
I should. That's a good idea.
37:33
Does cost anything extra? Awesome, so he listens to French
37:37
music and our headphones while grocery shopping.
37:39
Makes it more romantic and less mundane.
37:41
OK, I don't take some right now. So because Ashley and I have our
37:45
birthdays are so close, are the same are they're so close
37:47
together, close together? Well, what time was her?
37:50
What time? We don't know.
37:52
We got to find out. Nobody seems to know but I
37:57
Christmas and our birthdays are so close.
37:59
So Jesus and mine, our birthdays are so close together and then
38:04
our anniversary is like, this is like the is January 13th, right?
38:08
So again, very close together. So by the time Valentine's Day
38:11
rolls around, we're Ash and I are like, we're good, we're
38:14
good, we're square. So not last year, but maybe like
38:19
the year before we went grocery shopping on Valentine's Day.
38:21
That's what we did. Let me tell you something.
38:24
The the only other two people that were also grocery shopping
38:28
at the Schnucks were our people. They were our people.
38:32
One was a was a little lady who complimented Ashley's hair.
38:37
Oh, oh, you got real fun hair. We we could see accusing.
38:40
She was kind of staring at Ash and and Ash had like, I don't
38:43
remember what color hair, like orange or pink or something,
38:46
right. And we're just like, Oh my God,
38:48
this lady, you don't know what you're going to get right.
38:50
This lady is going to say something about her hair and she
38:53
goes, your hair is so fun. You know, this little, I mean
38:58
late 70s, early 80s, very Yeah. Little old lady loved it.
39:02
And then the other only other person who was also grocery
39:05
shopping was a man in a full like suit, clearly had date.
39:11
But he, it was like, I want to say that it was like a
39:16
Valentine's suit. So I can't remember if it was
39:21
like red or if it was like white and had red hearts on it.
39:24
But he was like, yes, it was like a Valentine's Eve.
39:28
He. Went a suit.
39:30
Yes, but he was picking up cream cheese, so.
39:37
I want to know what he's saying. I really want to.
39:41
Know oh like 3. Pieces and it's like a
39:43
Valentine's thing and he woke up and be like well listen, I got
39:48
to know what. I'm just curious.
39:50
What? The OR but and then there's.
39:53
Us, that's who was at the Schnucks on Valentine's Day.
39:56
And you guys. Yep.
39:58
Well, that's it was actually the best time because nobody was
40:00
fucking there. Well, you're right.
40:01
You're not going to have to fight with anybody to get to
40:03
check out. I was trying to think of
40:05
anything whimsical that I might do.
40:06
And I'm sure there are stuff because sometimes we just kind
40:09
of audibly do things like that. And I absolutely talk to the
40:12
cats every morning. I tell Stormy goodbye, and I
40:15
tell him to be a good boy. Every day I don't tell him like
40:18
don't have a party because I know he won't because he's a
40:20
grumpy old dude. Now Domino, he has no friends.
40:23
Yes, now Domino. When I leave I tell her not to
40:26
attack Stormy because she is a little maniac and so her.
40:30
I do tell not to have parties while I'm gone because she
40:34
absolutely would have a party. Indeed.
40:37
At the house and have all her. All the other cat.
40:39
Friends over. So that's the only thing I can
40:41
really think of that I do. I I do, I mean like other like
40:48
it's kind of fun. These are both like robot really
40:49
things. I'm sure I do other things, but
40:50
I will I always will see how I last ChatGPT for something.
40:56
I usually try to include a please in there, can you please,
40:59
blah, blah, blah. And then afterwards I'll be
41:00
like, thank you, you should. I'm like, listen, I for one,
41:04
welcome our robot overlords if they want to.
41:08
I'm tired of having a credit score and all that.
41:12
I for one welcome the. Robot.
41:14
So if you're in the, you're going to absolutely go into the
41:16
Matrix. You're not going to.
41:17
You're not going to try. To fight it, yeah, 100%, but
41:21
only if I'm not going into the Matrix, if I have to keep doing
41:24
this, but like it's. True, I need to, but it's got to
41:26
be make me happy. Well, right.
41:29
If let me go in there. No, I'm like, I'll go in there
41:32
if I'm like, I don't know, doing some stupid shit like like a
41:38
video game, you know what I mean?
41:40
For fun. But I'm not.
41:41
I'm not. Give me fun stuff to do if
41:45
you're going to, if you're going to, yeah, take your boss,
41:47
anything. Extra for it to be a like a
41:49
little fun party in there as opposed to just the.
41:52
Normal. Why would you make us have a
41:54
normal, terrible life? Right.
41:56
Why can't you wag your beef Me, you know we're talking about
42:01
suspend them massaged every day fed the best grass Yes.
42:05
Why can't I do that? We want.
42:07
I want the the Wagyu beef. Treatment.
42:10
What's the Wagyu? And then if you're going to
42:12
suspend water before I can slowly deteriorate.
42:14
Thank you. Yeah.
42:15
Says massage me every day and give me a fun existence I'd.
42:18
Appreciate that I'd become dinner.
42:22
Yeah. Mm.
42:23
Hmm. Yeah, I dye my prime rib.
42:29
That are, you know, OK, we're still, we're still trying to
42:33
figure out what happened to Chuck the duck.
42:36
My dad tells the story that my mom would walk and my mom did.
42:40
She would walk to church during the week.
42:43
She could walk to Saint Luke's Church because she couldn't
42:45
drive. It's true.
42:45
She couldn't drive. And so she'd walk down, down
42:48
Douglas Ave. and make a left on whatever the hell St. that is.
42:50
I can't remember. And on the corner there was a
42:53
little boy who had a duck. And so one day she asked him
42:58
what was the duck's name, and he said this is Chuck the Duck.
43:02
And she said sorry. I sorry, I don't know why, but
43:06
that was a great name. Chuck the Duck is.
43:07
Great, This is Chuck the Duck. And so, but then all of a sudden
43:10
one day she went, she walked by and he was up there by himself
43:12
and no more Chuck, No more Chuck.
43:15
And they don't know what she didn't ask.
43:17
Hey, what happened to Chuck? She didn't ask.
43:19
So we didn't ask Chuck. So we said maybe he ended up
43:22
somebody'd Christmas dinner. It's true.
43:24
Smiling at me, Smiling at. Me.
43:26
Is this what Chuck would have wanted?
43:27
That's one Chuck. We wanted what Chuck would want.
43:30
You know what? I say that all the time.
43:33
It's what I it's what I would have wanted it.
43:35
Could be the most heinous, like we'll hear something that's
43:40
like, you know, I, you know, in, in the Naked Gun and there's
43:44
like the whole thing, the guy, he falls off the roof and he
43:46
gets like travelled by like a parade and like whatever, all
43:48
this kind of stuff. It could I'd hear something that
43:51
and I'd be like, it's what he would have wanted.
43:54
Ever since I stupid shit like that ever since I saw that meme
43:56
that said instead of complaining about life, just say this is not
44:00
what Godzilla would have wanted for me.
44:02
And so ever since I saw that meme, which I find fantastic,
44:05
that's what I say. I'm like, this is not what
44:07
Godzilla would have wanted. It's not he would have wanted
44:11
more. I've seen that, but I've seen
44:13
the Godzilla one. But the first version of that
44:16
same meme that I saw was This is not the life Mr. Rogers wanted
44:20
for Mr. Rogers would have better for me.
44:23
Legit. He would have, yeah, absolutely.
44:25
And he would have really meant. It well as easing as we're going
44:28
into party season because you know, Thanksgiving and Christmas
44:31
and all that kind of stuff. I've seen 2 all of our
44:34
birthdays, all of our birthdays. Well, and I'm sure some people
44:37
had some Halloween parties. We had to go to some.
44:39
So here's the thing. I've saw two things that I was
44:44
like, OMG, I love both of those things.
44:48
OK, don't tell me that. I don't know that either of them
44:51
will happen, but I, I'm bringing it up here.
44:53
Manifesting #1 somebody said they're like, this is your like
45:00
sign. To.
45:01
Hire a magician for your you and your friends like next party,
45:08
whether that is like somebody's birthday party or like a
45:11
friendsgiving Friendsgiving things and the one the one.
45:15
Never had a magician for any party.
45:21
Mostly it's like kind of these older gentlemen that are coming
45:25
and it's a group of like millennials or younger all
45:29
drinking, all of them been drinking, all of them are
45:32
watching. And he goes, he's like got these
45:35
two dozens and he like smacks it and they all like.
45:39
Like. And then he pulls little Bunny.
45:43
Like here's the. Thing those guys how are just
45:49
having the best fucking time. Because, you know, they were so
45:52
into it. That's just I'm going to have to
45:55
I. Think I said kid going, I know
45:57
how you did that, Yeah. They're I'm like, they're just
46:00
enjoying it. Yes, we would absolutely,
46:02
totally just enjoy it 100%. That is a great idea.
46:06
Isn't that a great idea? You know what, you know, I'm not
46:09
going to say my age, but there is a milestone coming up, not
46:11
this year, but next, next year. That could be an idea that could
46:15
be fun. Wouldn't that be fun?
46:17
Oh, I think it would. Be so fucking stupid and fun.
46:20
Absolutely. Oh, because the one that's like,
46:22
you can hire like a magician or sometimes they, they do like a
46:26
magician or like a mentalist sort of thing.
46:30
And so the one, the one guy handling this book, he's like,
46:32
OK, like he's like, OK, you sure you want to stop here?
46:35
And he goes, she's like, yeah, that's funny.
46:37
OK. And you're good with the word
46:38
white, I guess that's like the word.
46:40
She's supposed to pick a random word on the page.
46:41
He doesn't grow the word white. Of course.
46:43
That's the word. I don't, I don't know how he
46:45
knows. And of course, the room they
46:50
lose it. I want to show you I, I think I,
46:53
I liked a video with that and I have to show it to you because
46:56
the people's reactions are so funny.
46:58
Second thing, the second thing was this one girl, she was like,
47:03
or, or a guy, I don't know, but it's like my wife slash
47:06
girlfriend. I forget having a, a birthday
47:09
party or whatever. And they said instead of gifts
47:14
or anything like that, they said that every single person who
47:17
came had to bring some piece of gossip and then they all would,
47:22
they would all share. And so the video is the video
47:26
that I saw. It is just cutting to reactions
47:29
of all of these people hearing whatever the gossip is like.
47:32
You know, like. Ace.
47:33
They're right, but it's playing the Tell me something I don't
47:35
know the song from from In the Heights and and so it was very
47:40
and I'm like, that would be great.
47:42
I would love that. I also saw another one that I I
47:46
mentioned briefly, but this could actually be a cool thing
47:48
too where everyone must bring the most random thing they have
47:52
in their house. This is something I actually
47:54
have in my house that is like crazy random and you just bring
47:58
it and you put it on the table for display.
48:01
I could bring. Some stuff and then you have
48:03
some. People's look at that Nutcracker
48:05
right now. Right now 3 nutcrackers.
48:09
One playing guitar, one dude a little jig, and the other one
48:12
going to the beach. Yeah, go on.
48:14
You're right. He's got a life preserver.
48:16
He does. So yeah, to me, I thought that
48:18
would be kind of funny. That would be good, you know?
48:21
You know, even your friends, I don't know everything you got in
48:23
your house, like I don't know, you know, that can be kind of
48:25
kind of a funny, yes, a party thing to.
48:28
Do too. Very funny.
48:28
Sam just went to a party for one of her best friends just last
48:32
night rented a house. Yep, went for the weekend to
48:35
Anna, Illinois. Rented this old house on like
48:38
Airbnb. It's beautiful.
48:39
I saw some pictures. It's crazy.
48:41
It's crazy. And then they proceeded to act
48:43
out. Hamlet.
48:44
Yes, I heard. And then their friend child
48:46
recorded it and they literally did scene by scene in like all
48:50
the different fancy rooms of this house.
48:52
Oh my God. Believe.
48:54
Wait a minute, I have to see. That I got to see it.
48:57
I'm dying to see it because Sam at one point had to act with
49:00
herself because she was. Look at this.
49:03
Little like five of us. She was like the.
49:04
Queen and one other character. And so she reads the puts on
49:06
her. She was using her Fark bond
49:08
Cape. She started amazing and then she
49:09
had to be the queen. So then she jumps over here and
49:11
puts a crown back on and takes off the Cape.
49:12
Look at this. Amazing.
49:14
I have to see it. I have to see this because I was
49:16
like, you did what for her? For her.
49:19
Birthday. Yeah.
49:21
That this is what she wants. I got to see it isn't.
49:23
That an absolute I got to. So that's a crazy birthday
49:25
party, yes. Then I got to tell you one more
49:27
story. OK, well, is this a party thing?
49:30
It's. Not a party.
49:31
Thing it's a fun story I will This is a final like final
49:35
recommendation for party. We've talked about this before,
49:38
but if you and your friends go to fucking Medieval Times for a
49:42
birthday, it's fun as hell. It is.
49:45
You get drunk and you go to the Medieval Times.
49:47
The loudest section will determine the winner.
49:49
FYI, none of us had voices the next day, but our night fucking
49:53
won. Night won.
49:53
So that's all that means. That's.
49:55
Yeah. No, that's what we did for my
49:57
30th. It was a who in 1/2 I.
49:59
Will send my 2 best friends we're we're having we're my my
50:02
best friend Jan and I have the same month we're both December
50:06
help me December babies. Yep, and so we always get
50:09
together to celebrate our days and so we are doing a sleepover
50:13
at Jan's adult, adult sleepover and just making his adult.
50:20
Irish Stew Stew. And we're going to play games
50:23
and do a sleepover. Jan, of course, wants to play
50:25
picture because that's her. Favorite.
50:26
That's her favorite. No Yahtzee.
50:28
We may come out. You don't know.
50:30
Yahtzee came out as gay. Jeez wants to play the song
50:32
called Hit List and it's like a song and you have to like it's
50:38
like you find out what the year is and then they play other
50:40
songs and you it's you build like a timeline.
50:42
Yeah. Was it before or after that that
50:44
year? OK, kind.
50:45
Of thing and and so I'm like I suck at knowing what year songs
50:49
yes, so so am I, but it sounds fun so so they've already said
50:53
they'll bring that game and so we everybody's supposed to bring
50:56
a game yeah, because GM's always the board game so I'm like
50:58
that's gonna be really fun yeah. Yeah, we, we just got a new game
51:01
that's called Bad Therapist. So, OK, just the title is funny,
51:06
right, isn't it? So we haven't gotten to play
51:08
yet, so I'm gonna have to read the rules.
51:10
Absolutely. Why not?
51:10
But I you know, that sounds fun too.
51:12
We're all in, you know we. Are so we love game nights?
51:14
Yep. But I have to tell you this
51:15
really, really funny story. OK, I couldn't get off one day
51:18
because I had many, many things to do.
51:19
And so Sam had could take some time off.
51:23
So she took my dad, my 88 year old father, to the doctor.
51:28
He is 88 now. He is 88, but he was 87 at the
51:30
time. He was 87.
51:31
His birthday was at the end of the week.
51:32
So happy birthday to my ball, to my dad, to grandpa.
51:36
He had to go to the doctor and she drove him down all the way,
51:39
like to West Center World. And they get in there, you know,
51:43
and he moves. His favorite saying is we're off
51:45
like a herd of turtles because he walks very slow.
51:48
But you know, he's 88. We'll give.
51:50
Him. Give him a break.
51:51
Get him the doctor, pull. It goes fine.
51:53
She gets it back out to the car, whatever they go, and the only
51:55
way home he says, well, let me buy you some lunch.
51:58
And she says, OK, sure. He says, well, I'm coming up
52:02
here is the White Castles. It's the White Castles.
52:05
Doesn't like white. Sam hates White Castles.
52:10
She hates them. And she goes, OK, she pulls it.
52:16
What are you going to say? She pulls into White Castles.
52:18
He goes. 12 for me, 12 for you. I'm dying.
52:24
Who? The hell is 12 White Castles?
52:28
Let me tell you some gun to my head.
52:30
You don't even have to have a gun to my head.
52:31
It could be unloaded. I would eat 12 White Castles 1.
52:34
City I would eat, maybe. Three.
52:35
It depends on how hungry I am. You're small.
52:37
It depends on how hungry I am. She's.
52:39
Just like. Sure, but if I'm just going for
52:43
like a casual thing to. Get the. 4-3 or four?
52:46
Yeah, yeah, maybe 3 or 12. 1212 she's dying.
52:52
She goes sure I'll take it to my parents cuz she knows when I
52:55
like him. She orders herself a chicken
52:57
because she likes the chicken and so she gets them home.
53:01
He takes in his bag of White Castles.
53:03
Hers is in the car. She gets them inside and then
53:05
when she comes back out to the car she's driving.
53:07
When she calls me she goes my car smells like White Castle.
53:11
What's? She's screaming at the moment.
53:14
She's like, I want you to know. That I am now the favorite
53:18
because I am White Castles and my car and my car breaks.
53:26
I was great. How was it?
53:28
Really. You know that I can't believe
53:30
that he take her to get a Mcrib, no?
53:33
Then, so she says, why couldn't the Mcrib been back?
53:36
We could have gone and got members.
53:37
They love Mcribs together. They love Mcribs.
53:39
They always go get one together. And yeah, because the one time
53:41
he called, he called you, he called me to tell you to text.
53:45
Sam, can you text Sam the Mcrib is back?
53:48
Back. No shit.
53:50
Sure. I'm like, and I'm like, yeah, I
53:54
was working at the time. Sometimes you'd call me and
53:56
you'd go over, help bring mom inside or whatever.
53:58
If they had gone to physical therapy or something like that,
54:00
which is not. You could do that, right?
54:02
And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'll let her know.
54:06
Like, do you need anything else? Nope.
54:08
Popular. Just let's say.
54:09
No, the group's back, and then they make plans, like, go get
54:11
one. Yeah.
54:12
So she was so mad. She's like, why couldn't the
54:14
Mcrib a band back? We could have gone.
54:16
Academy group, do you know that the Mcrib is back?
54:19
I do. The Mcrib is actually back.
54:21
It came back literally. Like what, three or four days
54:24
later, yeah. And and so we go to celebrate
54:27
his birthday and then on his on the way home, take him home.
54:30
We we get him a Bicarat. We do.
54:32
So we got two. We got 2/1 for later.
54:35
So he was he was in heaven. It's true.
54:36
And he had some, he had some treats, birthday treats, and he
54:39
was he was happy. But as well as well for me for
54:43
12 years. Sure, sure.
54:46
So I get home from work, I guess for dinner.
54:50
It was awesome. It's awesome.
54:51
Dad had some. We were, we were happy.
54:53
But. Her car, you know how that smell
54:55
gets and everything. Oh, her car did stink.
54:57
Let me tell you something. Speaking of White Castles, OK?
54:59
I learned you like Pickles on your White Castles.
55:01
I love Pickles on mine. I do not you.
55:03
Use only burger I eat Pickles on.
55:04
I do because we've talked about this.
55:05
Yeah. I don't know why.
55:06
Well, I don't like Pickles. You do not.
55:09
And you always want extra Pickles on yours.
55:13
And so whenever we go together, I'll give you mine.
55:14
It's perfect, it's perfect. Isn't it All perfect, right?
55:17
Now, my coworker Erica, potential listener Erica, should
55:23
she begin listening, we'll refer to her as listener Erica.
55:26
OK. Once we have the confirmation,
55:27
we'll confirm. We'll confirm.
55:28
Erica, if you're listening now and thank you, let me know.
55:34
But she tells me she loves Pickles.
55:37
She tells me. Oh, I know.
55:40
She told you told me. I told you gave her what it is.
55:42
There's something about Pickles. Go ahead.
55:45
She wants 9. Pickles.
55:46
Oh my God. On her thing and she goes it's
55:48
perfect because it's a square so like a little grid and I put 2 I
55:54
go hecka, how big are these Pickles?
55:58
Like how do you even taste the? Burger, you're just going to
56:00
taste all. Pickle.
56:01
No, she didn't listen. It's White Castles, you know
56:03
you're going to taste the burger.
56:04
No, you ain't no but nine Pickles on.
56:07
Me. Well she says it's the perfect
56:08
amount of Pickles and I go. So then I said, well, how do you
56:11
order that? How do you?
56:12
Order that do you order? 9 Pickles per burger.
56:16
Does she say like? That she goes no, I usually ask
56:19
for quote like an outrageous amount of Pickles and she goes
56:23
and usually I get like. 3 3/3. And she goes.
56:30
And then I ask for a cup of Pickles.
56:32
It's a cup of Pickles on the side.
56:34
That's hilarious. That's a lot of that.
56:36
She really likes her Pickles on there.
56:37
Damn, that's more than me. I like 2%.
56:40
There's a small that's all you need I think.
56:44
Yeah, we're recording. At home, We're at home tonight,
56:47
we're not at. The library Now Speaking of
56:48
Pickles, OK, do you know about the Jimmy John's pickle
56:51
sandwich? The pickle sandwich?
56:54
Pickle sandwich What? No, no, hold on.
56:56
I'd like to get a pickle spear with my sandwich.
56:57
But pickle sandwich? The pickle sandwich?
57:00
I don't think so. That's no bun, it's a pickle.
57:04
They really mean pickle sandwich.
57:05
I thought the insides of Pickles.
57:07
No, the outside is Pickles. That seems too messy.
57:11
That's too messy for me. Well, I think that's a no.
57:14
Listener Katie got one she loves Pickles.
57:18
She got one she's like, I got to I got to try it so she gets it.
57:22
She takes a bite. She's.
57:24
There's too much pickle. And she goes, you know, I had, I
57:29
had to get it. I had to try it.
57:30
She thought it was like, OK. She was like, like, it's too,
57:33
almost too much it. Is too much and see it.
57:36
I can see it's too. Much.
57:37
Well, she's like, I mean, this pickle's massive.
57:40
That's. Massive.
57:41
It's a massive pickle. You can get a pickle.
57:43
I don't know cucumber. The light bulb came out of my
57:52
but she was like it. Was fine I think.
57:53
It's Jimmy John's. Their bread is really yummy and
57:56
so I wouldn't want to give up that and I'd like a pickle.
57:59
Spear, I'm like you. Just gotta get a pickle spear
58:00
with your sandwich, that's yummy.
58:02
That is not good. No, it's too much.
58:04
That is all right. That's not It's not.
58:05
That doesn't look. That's a crime against humanity.
58:07
It doesn't look good. Now you, you did you ever get
58:12
the sandwich from KFC where it was chicken?
58:14
What time outside? What time?
58:17
What was that called? I don't remember, but it was the
58:19
KFC. It was like the buns were like
58:21
chicken breast. And I got it one time because
58:24
because it's the most ridiculous thing and you know that it's not
58:26
going to last because it's terrible.
58:28
So I had to order it once just to say that I did.
58:30
Because as soon as we found out about you were pretty young yet
58:33
I was and you saw that and you were like, damn, I do like my
58:36
meat well. I do like my meat.
58:38
I think I was like 8th grade, maybe a freshman in high school
58:41
or something like that. But yeah, I do like my meat.
58:46
It was like not great. It was 2 chicken breasts and
58:50
like a slice of cheese and maybe a couple slices of bacon.
58:53
Bacon in a slice of cheese I think.
58:55
Maybe a tomato, but probably. Not probably some fake ass
58:58
tomato, right? I don't remember right here it
59:00
is the what It's called the double.
59:02
Down. Yes.
59:03
Is that right? The KFC Double down here it is.
59:08
You're right. There's some bacon and some
59:10
cheese and that's and maybe some Mayo.
59:14
Oh, Mayo. Looks like maybe some some kind
59:15
of sauce. You're right.
59:18
Yep. No buns, all meat.
59:21
OK. It was not good.
59:24
No, it doesn't look good. It wasn't and I and it wasn't
59:27
and and I tell you, I knew it wasn't going to be when I
59:29
ordered it. You know what I mean?
59:31
You ever seen something you're like, I I gotta get it one time,
59:34
You gotta do it once. That's what Katie, that's what
59:36
Katie said. She's like, I gotta do it once.
59:38
That's right. And now Erica said she she's
59:40
like, she goes, oh, did she like it?
59:41
And I was like, she thought it was fine.
59:43
She was. She's like, do I regret ordering
59:45
it? No.
59:47
Would I ever order it again? No.
59:49
And Erica's like I think I would really like.
59:52
That she would not. I'm getting close to call her
59:55
nine pickle area. Yeah, she would like it. 9
1:00:01
pickle area is going to love it. I can't.
1:00:10
She going to love that sandwich I'm trying for it goes away.
1:00:17
Holy shit, it's really good. Don't I gotta have to tell her
1:00:22
that tomorrow? Pickle.
1:00:22
Eric, it's fine. I gotta tell you.
1:00:24
You know what? Your dad and I never really I
1:00:28
was just astounding me. You talk about Valentine's Day.
1:00:30
Your dad and I never really did much for Valentine's Day either.
1:00:32
OK for one, because it was it was his parents anniversary and
1:00:36
so. Oh yeah, Which is?
1:00:37
Cute. Which is fine, it was very cute
1:00:39
and but this year I'm having dinner with just having dinner
1:00:45
recently with my my 2 best friends.
1:00:48
My best friend Jan invited us down to the Ozarks for
1:00:51
Valentine's Day because there is a restaurant down there that
1:00:56
they love. It's White Castles.
1:00:58
And there's probably White Castles.
1:00:59
They go down for the White Castles, for the Love Castle,
1:01:02
for the Love Castle. There's a question.
1:01:04
And I was like, love. I had to.
1:01:05
Break it to Jim. We can do that.
1:01:06
And love castles like 5 minutes from your house.
1:01:08
Oh my God, you're telling me that you guys are going down
1:01:10
there? We're going to go down to the
1:01:11
Ozarks for Valentine's. Who's am I supposed to fucking
1:01:14
go to the Love castle with? Ashley doesn't like my cat.
1:01:18
Now Paul, that's what I can eat. 12 White Castles Valentine's.
1:01:26
Day get the biggest kick out of that.
1:01:29
Absolutely that would be a hoot. I would love to see that no she
1:01:32
invited us down there so we could go to this restaurant and
1:01:34
I think Valentine's Day ends up on a Saturday this year which
1:01:36
was hilarious. That works out great.
1:01:38
And she says ladies. While we're there.
1:01:41
Massage she's scheduling. Massage.
1:01:45
Massage and we do it, yes. So they're like, meanwhile,
1:01:50
don't you ever fucking invite? Me along these things I know, I
1:01:52
said. Now, now I got to tell you the
1:01:55
one time I went to a place for a massage, I was out in Vegas and
1:01:58
your dad is like our anniversary and you're probably I forget
1:02:01
what year. And your dad got me like this
1:02:02
massage in our hotel. And I go to you go to the bar
1:02:07
with the spa place. It was up on a higher floor.
1:02:09
Oh, OK. And go in there and they're
1:02:11
like, OK, here you go. We're going to take you into
1:02:13
this room. Now we're going to need you to
1:02:14
get naked. And then here's a washcloth to
1:02:17
cover up with legit your face just to cover your dignity,
1:02:23
surely hold it going. Do I cover the left or the right
1:02:29
leather? The lower?
1:02:31
What do you cover? There's a washcloth.
1:02:33
I think that the best case scenario for you to lay face
1:02:36
down and somehow hang. On I said, do you have a sheet?
1:02:43
He's a little bigger than this. No, don't worry, babe.
1:02:46
You know, it's all good. It's all good.
1:02:47
Come on here now you're going to sit in this hot dog with other
1:02:51
naked ladies. It's like a sauna.
1:02:55
A sauna because you're sitting, the hot tub because it'll loosen
1:02:57
up your muscles, and then you'll be ready for your massage.
1:03:00
No, we are. Pruning So now everybody's
1:03:02
getting out of this hot tub naked.
1:03:03
That was not that was not I didn't enjoy the the naked zoo.
1:03:06
Then I was sitting in OK and wasn't.
1:03:09
I wasn't, I wasn't. Aware you were such an
1:03:11
adventurous. Life.
1:03:12
I was not a fan of the. Naked.
1:03:14
Suit and then they take you back to the room and then you get
1:03:16
your massage OK and then you go back to wherever they put your
1:03:20
clothes like little locker everything and that's what I
1:03:22
said can I just take this sheet with me like this wash cloth
1:03:25
they cover it you know they let me take the sheet so that was
1:03:28
good take the sheet so I said listen I'll go for a massage if
1:03:31
they got something bigger than a washcloth listen, I've.
1:03:34
Only been for a massage one time.
1:03:36
OK Nope that's not true. Twice.
1:03:38
OK, but like they let you like say keep your underwear on it.
1:03:43
You wanted another one here? Somewhere in Fairview and it was
1:03:45
like you dress however you undress it to whatever.
1:03:47
You're calling exactly. This was a fancy fancy.
1:03:50
Spa in. Vegas.
1:03:51
Clearly they couldn't afford anything bigger than a watch
1:03:53
plot. Though afford any bigger than a
1:03:55
watch plot and I was not. I'm not a tiny person, so I was
1:03:59
not. Covered.
1:04:00
So yeah. What is this?
1:04:04
So, so that's what we're doing. We actually already have plans
1:04:06
for Valentine's Day, so we've never.
1:04:08
So that's what I'm fucking I'm thinking of the the fox napkins.
1:04:14
Right. Little fox, Little tiny fox.
1:04:16
Can I have 3 of those? She's.
1:04:22
So that's why I said I'm not taking a stapler.
1:04:27
I'm a skelter. Let's start together.
1:04:33
Look at myself. I'll staple them together, make
1:04:35
myself big. Ow, oh God.
1:04:38
Anyway, so we got a bliss for Belton there already God Well,
1:04:41
we'll send an update. I'll give an update.
1:04:42
I'll give an update, but the ball of.
1:04:44
Castle. Sorry.
1:04:44
Oh. My take your ball, take your
1:04:48
ball. You take your poll.
1:04:50
It'll be a hoot. All right, well.
1:04:53
Welcome. See, I'm trying to see.
1:04:55
Well, I got a short thing to tell you that is just kind of
1:04:58
like remembered it and I thought it was funny.
1:05:02
So when I was in first grade, OK, it was first grade, my
1:05:07
teacher was that grade. Didn't care for her.
1:05:11
No, no, didn't care for her. Misses first grade teacher lady.
1:05:14
There we go. And she was talking about like
1:05:21
we're reading some story about like, oh, there's like the man
1:05:23
the moon, right? OK, OK.
1:05:25
And she's like, you know how you can like look at the moon and
1:05:28
you see these like, you can see like a face.
1:05:31
And I'm like, no, you can't. There's no.
1:05:34
Face. There's no face on the moon and
1:05:38
she's like, yes, there's like those little like she's trying
1:05:41
to describe craters and I'm like, the moon is a smooth white
1:05:47
circle. Missus first grade teacher.
1:05:49
What the fuck do you know? Here's the other kids are like
1:05:54
yeah, no, you can see stuff on the moon and I am face well, but
1:06:00
but I'm like, no, you can't. It is a Smith went mom.
1:06:05
This is before I got fucking glasses.
1:06:07
I was blind to me. It was a fuzzy white circle in
1:06:13
the sky. I'm like, you don't know what
1:06:15
the fuck you're talking about. Like this bitch is trying to
1:06:21
tell me there's shit all the moon.
1:06:23
No, there's. Not.
1:06:25
Well, like what are you a fucking telescopic vision?
1:06:28
Like okay, so that's the whole story.
1:06:31
I just we should have realized that I was in fact, blind.
1:06:35
But you did get glasses in first class.
1:06:37
I did, but it was. Before this it was.
1:06:39
Clearly there's a reason after this.
1:06:41
Or maybe it was before, because those glasses were the wrong.
1:06:44
Prescription turned out it. Was turned out I go.
1:06:46
I can't see things that are far away.
1:06:47
Here's some readers. That guy was really on top of.
1:06:51
I really. I can't believe that guy even
1:06:53
had a lot of sense. Good Lord.
1:06:56
That's really good. That's hilarious.
1:06:58
Pickle. Eric.
1:07:01
You know what? If she had told us that I tip
1:07:03
this off that you need the glasses.
1:07:04
Maybe no, because you've been like she's right.
1:07:07
There ain't no face on that moon.
1:07:09
There's grater stupid. I don't see no face.
1:07:12
Ain't no face. I'm like there ain't no fucking
1:07:14
craters on the mean. So I just that that I thought of
1:07:18
that the other day and I was kind of laughing.
1:07:19
That is funny. I didn't realize.
1:07:20
I never heard you. Never.
1:07:22
Told me. This.
1:07:23
No, I know. I was like, I got to tell you
1:07:24
this. Oh, man.
1:07:26
Oh. Man, well after this we got to
1:07:27
talk about the folks. We got to work on our Christmas
1:07:30
card. So chitchat about that?
1:07:33
My friend Jim last night asked. I wanna know what the ones are
1:07:35
doing for the Christmas card this year, man.
1:07:36
So do we. I gotta discuss with Abby.
1:07:40
Yep. Yep.
1:07:41
We gotta do next. All right, so.
1:07:43
But you guys went after this. I'm gonna need some serious
1:07:45
beef. And some serious Pickles.
1:07:48
Bye bye.