Latest / Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast / When You Stop Giving Your Power Away

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When You Stop Giving Your Power Away · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

0:01
So welcome to just be true a soul that podcast
0:05
and I am excited to bring to you the discussion
0:09
that I had with April I had the pleasure of sitting
0:12
down with her today She's the host of own your
0:16
own essence podcast and we had a heartfelt and
0:19
inspiring conversation April is a lifetime alchemist
0:25
narrative disruptor and a psychic life coach
0:28
devoted to guiding others through transformation,
0:32
healing, and soul level awakening. And with a
0:36
deep passion for metaphysics and all things unseen,
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April brings decades of life experiences as a
0:43
psychic medium, grief and trauma specialist,
0:46
and a fearless navigator in the spirit realm.
0:49
Her work is rooted in the belief that our greatest
0:53
pain can become our deepest purpose. After enduring
0:57
the unimaginable loss of her child and walking
1:01
a difficult path of recovering from toxic relationship,
1:05
April emerged with the calling to help others
1:08
find their way through grief, emotional collapse,
1:12
and spiritual rebirth. In today's episode, April
1:16
shares pieces of her personal journey, the wisdom
1:20
she gained along the way, and what it truly means
1:23
to reconnect with the own the essence of who
1:27
you are. Our conversation explores authenticity,
1:32
personal growth, and courage it takes to trust
1:35
the path unfolding before you. There are many
1:40
beautiful insights within this episode, and I
1:43
can't wait for you to hear April's story and
1:45
the powerful message that she has to share. I
1:49
truly hope you enjoy this. Before we dive in,
1:57
if you're new here, go ahead and hit subscribe
1:59
so you don't miss future episodes, and drop a
2:01
like if you're excited for this one. Also, if
2:04
anything in today's episode resonates, and you
2:07
want to talk it through with Summer directly,
2:09
there's a Let's Talk link in the show notes to
2:11
schedule a free discovery call. Alright, let's
2:13
get into it! Hi, everyone. I am so excited. So
2:26
welcome to season two of our podcast. And my
2:29
very first guest, I'm so excited. April from
2:33
On Your Own Essence podcast. Amazing. We met
2:37
about a month ago, right? A little less than
2:41
a month ago or a little more than a month ago
2:44
when I was on your podcast. And so thank you
2:47
so much for being willing to be my getting paid
2:53
for the first guest. Oh, I'm so very pleased
2:55
to be here with you, actually. I know that when
3:00
we, you know, collabed on my podcast, we had
3:02
some fantastic discussions. I had a great time
3:05
with you. And so I'm very excited to come on
3:06
here and jam with you. Absolutely. And so I'm
3:10
going to go ahead and just throw you in the hot
3:11
seat right from the beginning. So for the audience
3:15
to know, when we were talking about the scheduling
3:17
of this, so this first podcast is coming out
3:20
September 3rd. And I selected April to be my
3:25
very first guest speaker for the podcast for
3:30
season two. Oh, what amazing synchronicity that
3:34
is for September 3rd. Yeah. So little did she
3:38
know. And I didn't know either until like five
3:41
seconds ago that, as she mentioned, this episode
3:46
will be aired September 3rd. And that is a extremely
3:50
powerful day for me because that is the day my
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daughter died. So yeah, that is a beautiful synchronicity
3:58
for sure. A powerful message. Powerful, powerful.
4:01
Literally, I have chills from head to toe when
4:03
you said that. Like I truly feel that her spirit
4:06
and her essence is here with us. So amazing.
4:10
Hopefully, you know, I am sure she will guide
4:13
you into some wonderful conversations, right?
4:15
And be here to be blessed with you. So April,
4:19
you're an amazing human and honoring, you know,
4:24
so also getting rid of that. Like you've dealt
4:26
with honoring. grief and through personal loss
4:30
and things like that. And so and that's also
4:32
helped to bring into reality your own deepening
4:38
understanding of your own intuition and your
4:40
own gifts there. And so I would love for you
4:43
to be able to kind of like talk to us a little
4:45
bit about that journey and where it's brought
4:47
you. Yeah, so my daughter died in 2012 and and
4:53
I didn't have like a cake walk before that That
4:57
was just I think the straw that broke the camel's
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back at that point And I think that that would
5:03
happen to anyone regardless But it definitely
5:07
did something different than I expected, you
5:10
know, I I Was like everybody else on the planet
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nobody knows what to do with grief. Nobody's
5:18
equipped to handle it. It sounds scary, messy,
5:21
and oh my God, I'd rather avoid that because
5:23
it's not the popular table. And so I was with
5:28
this dilemma. What do I do with this weight that
5:31
I can't get out from underneath? And I finally
5:35
had to just sink into it. And that took me on
5:38
a journey that it was just so unexpected. I had
5:44
to learn how to embrace that grief, how to sit
5:47
with it, how to face it. And through that, I
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learned a level of compassion that I'm positive
5:55
I wouldn't have learned otherwise. And in deepening
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that compassion, it also sharpens my intuitive
6:03
abilities. Now, was I already a psychic medium
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and aware of that before? Yes. Was I public about
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it? No. I was still in the psychic closet, right?
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Like I was still like, ooh, I'm not sure I really
6:14
know what to do with this. And I was definitely
6:16
running from it. But after my daughter died,
6:20
there was no more running. When you're under
6:24
a weight like that, you can't move. There's no
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running. You are forced to sit your fucking ass
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down. Like, there's no option. So it definitely...
6:37
It definitely changed me in all the right ways.
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And it was, that's kind of where I discovered
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that, you know, a lot of people are like, oh,
6:45
this is my calling and it sounds so fun. And
6:47
it sounds like they're going on this beautiful
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scavenger hunt and there's like this rainbow,
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you know, and a pot of gold at the end of this
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scavenger hunt. That's not how my purpose found
6:56
me. It was like, oh, all of a sudden it just
6:59
lands in your lap and. um, you know, it comes
7:02
beating down your door and punching you in the
7:05
face. Oh, here's your purpose, by the way. Um,
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so that was a really strange way to step into,
7:11
uh, what I was meant to do here. And, and that's,
7:15
you know, um, teaching others how sacred grief
7:19
really is and, and how that's where your magic
7:23
is. um in response to like owning it and sitting
7:41
with it right and allowing yourself Yeah, exactly
8:13
it it definitely Because it forced me to sit
8:18
still I also had to face the fact that I had
8:22
surrounded my life with toxic connections including
8:24
family and I had to there was a wisdom that came
8:31
for that grief of Who was toxic to my healing
8:35
process and who was it? So with that being said
8:38
I I learned the confidence About what was best
8:42
for my process and if you were gonna stand in
8:44
the way of my healing process or try to box it
8:47
in You were gone in a second, right? And that's
8:50
not something that's not a confidence or strength
8:53
I had to do before that like I I wouldn't have
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known How to change those playgrounds? Mm -hmm
9:00
without that information That's amazing So powerful
9:06
too because you're dealing with the loss of your
9:11
child. You're dealing with an awakening at a
9:16
different level of being able to step into your
9:18
own purpose and can't ignore that anymore, right?
9:21
And I'm sure it all kind of like just the volume
9:23
of all of that just kind of like turned up. Yeah,
9:26
correct. Yes. And then on top of all of that,
9:31
then also having to weed out. The bullshit in
9:33
your life of the people that are negative and
9:35
doesn't support you and not in alignment with
9:37
all of that like that is That's huge, right?
9:41
It's it's literally like holding hands with the
9:43
Grim Reaper because it's death on death on death
9:46
on death grief on grief on grief Because I'm
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losing my daughter. I'm losing there was a loss
9:50
of aversion of me. There was a loss of my family
9:54
There was a loss of friends and any world that
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I thought was familiar was wiped from me So it
10:00
wasn't oh she just lost her daughter It was,
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oh, she lost fucking everything, even herself,
10:06
like literally everything. And I was homeless
10:09
at the time too. I didn't even have a roof over
10:11
my head that was stable and I was bounced from
10:14
place to place. So how the fuck I made it through
10:16
any of that sane and sober? I can't even take
10:19
credit for that shit. That was not me. I'm not
10:21
that graceful. So that was definitely something,
10:26
that was that calling pulling me through by my
10:28
fucking hair kicking and screaming. So what was
10:30
your, what was your grounding or your points
10:33
in which you were, what helped you, you know,
10:37
intuitively, spiritually, or even just human?
10:41
Like what helped you move through that? What
10:44
was, what was your grounding points or what were
10:46
some of the things that you did on to help you
10:52
through that transition? I, I'll tell you, I
10:57
had to, I sat. I sat with the discomfort when
11:01
I couldn't function, when it was ugly and messy,
11:04
when I couldn't move, when I was paralyzed, I
11:07
sat in it. I didn't try to force myself to do
11:09
something I couldn't do. When people, you would
11:13
think that when such a horrible traumatic event
11:16
happens, that that's when most of the support
11:19
comes to lift you, right? Your friends, your
11:21
family, you would think that is not what happened
11:23
to me. That's when everybody showed their ugliest
11:26
side, their ugliest version. And I was told,
11:28
she's dead, get over it. You've got other kids
11:31
to live for, move the fuck on, blah, blah, blah.
11:35
So everybody was trying to fit me into this box
11:38
that they created for me. And at the end of the
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day, again, I lost everybody because that's what
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it took for me to sit with whatever box I was
11:48
making. That's what I was gonna do. And believe
11:51
me, I doubted myself all the time. I thought
11:54
I was fucking insane. Why am I not listening
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to other people? Why am I? What is wrong? And
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it didn't matter. At the end of the day, what
12:01
happened was I still sat with exactly what I
12:04
needed to be sitting with. I mean, that's powerful,
12:08
right? telling somebody that because they don't
12:12
some people feel like they just constantly either
12:14
have to keep moving or doing or ignoring Right
12:17
and giving yourself permission to sit with it
12:20
and be with it not sit with it and ignore it
12:24
not hide under the sheets and and and be in the
12:31
sorrow, but it's more like sitting with it acknowledging
12:33
it and I kind of want to say maybe in a way communicating
12:37
with it You have to communicate with it. I was
12:41
so fucking mad at my human. I was I felt so fucking
12:45
betrayed and again This is another level of grief.
12:47
I was like, why can't you get up and function?
12:49
Why can't you do the things? That's what the
12:52
societal pressure the environmental pressure
12:53
does to you It makes you second -guessing question
12:56
every piece of you when your angels are right
12:58
there pulling you into it and going nope This
13:00
is right where you have to be if I hadn't sat
13:03
with that I wouldn't have stepped into my mission
13:05
and been able to reach back around and help other
13:08
people through this bullshit. Right. And that's
13:10
a big privilege, a huge privilege. Absolutely.
13:15
Yes, yes. And I mean, and people need that, right?
13:18
People need that structure, need somebody to
13:20
help them and let them know that they're not
13:22
going crazy or they're not doing something wrong
13:25
because that grief is really, you know, especially
13:27
with the loss of a child, sometimes it's very,
13:29
you know, debilitating. and can stop them in
13:33
their tracks. So that's amazing. And that's a
13:37
wonderful gift to have and a wonderful thing
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to be able to pass along to others. Yeah, I would
13:42
say so because when I sit and reflect on how
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much I was asked to come through, how much I
13:49
did come through, how much my other kids came
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through, how much other family members came through,
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I go, where the fuck was my April? Which is why
13:56
I have to be who I am. Right. Who was the one
13:59
pulling me through that? I didn't have that.
14:02
And that's where I noticed, oh, there's a need
14:04
here. There is a gap here where people are literally
14:07
falling through the fucking cracks. Right. Yeah.
14:11
Again, I mean, like my best friend passed away
14:13
in 2019 and I shut down my intuitive gifts for
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two years. Right. I mean, you know, yeah. Other
14:23
parts of me agreed about that too, but I literally
14:26
allowed my intuitive gifts to just shut off.
14:31
And when they came back on, boy, they came back
14:33
on loud. Yeah. They got really loud because you
14:37
leveled up. You did the work and you did what
14:41
you were supposed to do to move through those
14:43
spaces. And it's hard. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No,
14:47
go ahead. No, absolutely. I was going to say
14:48
it's just like, it's hard enough, but like...
14:51
there were definitely so many times that I was
14:53
very like unapologetically just I wanted to die
14:59
and I would have a hundred percent killed myself
15:02
which is why when I found out about her dying
15:05
and I had to bury her and do all the things I
15:09
locked myself in a rehab facility for 30 days
15:13
after that so I wouldn't kill myself because
15:15
I knew I was going to. Wow. And that was a really
15:18
tough decision too because That's when my other
15:21
kids needed me the most. Yeah. And to leave them
15:25
in that excruciating, delicate moment was the
15:28
hardest thing I ever had to do. But I knew if
15:30
I didn't, they wouldn't have a mom at all. Right.
15:33
And you had to do that for you. I mean, and people,
15:36
you know, it was like for you to help others,
15:39
you have to take care of yourself first, you
15:42
know, regardless of what that means. So if that
15:44
meant 30 days away from them so you could heal
15:46
you, so you could get in the right Just so I
15:48
wouldn't kill myself face. Yeah, just so I wouldn't
15:52
be in that place. Yeah, that's the only way you
15:54
could turn around and help them, right? That's
15:57
what they say on the airplane, right? You got
15:59
to give yourself oxygen before you give some.
16:01
Yeah, and it sucks because when your kids are
16:03
little like that, they don't understand. They
16:05
just go. My mommy's leaving me in the worst fucking
16:08
time of my life, right? So that's a massive abandonment
16:11
feeling wound. If you want to call it that, too,
16:14
that we've had to repair since then. because
16:18
and and again with age and wisdom they they obviously
16:23
understand understand right yeah they get it
16:25
and they're grateful that i'm here but there
16:28
was a moment that that was very questionable
16:30
yeah i love that age with wisdom that changes
16:34
so much with i mean even with me in regards to
16:37
dealing with the trauma in my life and the absence
16:41
of my mom growing up, because I lived with my
16:44
grandparents my early years. But then what I
16:47
turned to realize as an adult is that she didn't
16:49
abandon me. She left me in the best place possible
16:52
for me to be taken care of. So she could go and
16:58
grow up herself and do what she needed to do
17:01
for her. And that takes a lot of courage for
17:07
a parent to do that. You know, I mean, I know
17:11
sometimes society wants to look down on parents
17:14
for doing things like that, but it takes a lot
17:16
of courage to be able to do that and put your
17:21
children in hands of someone else so you can
17:24
heal, so you can take care of you. So eventually
17:27
you can come back and be the parent that you're
17:29
meant to be. Yeah. And it takes just as much
17:32
courage for you as the child to be able to welcome
17:37
that acceptance, you know? Yeah, and that takes
17:41
a lot. Let me take it now that takes a like so
17:43
Yeah, I think I was in my like I'm trying to
17:47
think how old I am now So I was probably in my
17:50
early 40s when I was actually able to accept
17:54
the fact that The relationship with my parents
17:58
is what it is and I need to stop putting my own
18:02
unrealistic expectations around it Yeah You have
18:06
to separate yourself from it. And that is, yes,
18:09
man, you're locked in, girl. Yeah. Yeah, it took
18:15
me like 40 something years to get past that.
18:18
But I mean, now it's a whole totally different
18:21
story. So I would love to talk about. So there
18:24
is I would love for you to be able to hit on
18:28
being able to. identify the difference between
18:35
empowering intuitive guidance and creating dependency?
18:44
So that's a great question. And it's, you know,
18:48
it looks different for everyone, to be honest.
18:50
That really comes down to your reference system,
18:53
to who your guides are, to what your discernment
18:57
looks like. It really does. it's an individual
19:01
journey right and uh and being dependent god
19:06
we can be and our human selves we can be dependent
19:08
on anything food um you know indulgence of any
19:12
kind so it really is a tricky walk um and uh
19:19
i think you have to go through a lot of i'm going
19:23
to call it indulging and being dependent on um
19:28
on the other side or maybe even you could call
19:32
it giving your power away to the guides or whatever,
19:35
whoever you're communicating with. I feel like
19:37
you do have to do that for a while while you
19:40
learn your reference system, right? And then
19:42
once you have that information, it's easier to
19:46
discern when you're dependent or not. Does that
19:50
make sense? Yes. Yeah, yeah, and I know like
19:54
early on in my I want to say my spiritual wake
19:58
like once I realized like what a psychic was
20:01
what let me tell you I was in my 30s Before I
20:05
even heard the word medium, you know And it was
20:08
a medium telling me that I was a medium in my
20:10
30s and I was like, what does this mean? Yeah,
20:14
you know, yeah, I had no idea but and so so it's
20:19
anyways cuz at first I was just like Oh, and
20:22
I was just like so dependent on what all of these,
20:27
you know, psychics or mediums or whatever could
20:30
tell me versus me learning how to have the discernment
20:34
and the gift and being able to trust it. Yeah.
20:38
You know, so that was kind of like my indulgence
20:40
in the beginning of my spiritual waking. Like,
20:42
again, it's like anything else. Right. When you're
20:46
even if you're learning a new subject. You have
20:48
to take it all in. You probably have to have
20:50
tutors. You have to have professors. You have
20:52
to have study halls. You have to do all the things.
20:56
So are you indulging? Sure. But that's after
21:00
you have all of that information. That's when
21:03
you get to decide which ones work for you and
21:05
what to put down. Yes. Yeah. And I tell people
21:10
all the time is like, go at whatever your interest
21:13
is, whatever your curiosity is. Absolutely. Go
21:16
check it out. See if it resonates. See if it
21:19
doesn't. Doesn't mean that you have to stick
21:21
with it. Right. It doesn't even mean that you
21:24
had to pick it up and carry it forward. But it
21:26
gives you that experience and that knowledge.
21:28
Oh, my God. I totally have all the tools. Like
21:30
I'm a hypnotherapist. I'm a Reiki master. I do
21:33
all the things right. And but do I provide them
21:36
as a service? Nope. Right, they're just tools
21:40
in my bag and some I use for myself some I use
21:43
for family stuff But do I carry them forward?
21:47
Nope, that's that's not where I'm at with this
21:50
stuff, right? Yeah, and like yeah and then picking
21:54
and choosing what's best for you and it doesn't
21:56
have to look I think the amazing thing is is
21:58
that it doesn't have to look like everybody else
22:02
Like you're on gifts. You're on intuitive abilities.
22:06
It doesn't it is definitely not cookie cutter.
22:09
No Yeah, no, it's definitely not a one -size
22:12
-fits -all like at all. There's no way Yeah,
22:16
so no, absolutely. So I would love to I would
22:22
love to hear more about your journey and recognizing
22:26
your your psychic and medium gifts So that came
22:35
in, it came in, you know, little dispersements
22:41
here and there, right? Up until it didn't anymore.
22:44
And then that was just a whole whopping event.
22:48
But it was, I was born, I say I was born on.
22:52
So I already came into the human body developed
22:57
as a psychic medium. So since I was a very young
23:00
child. I was already seeing spirits in and out.
23:04
They were playing with my hair, saying my name,
23:07
standing around my bed. I could see fairies.
23:11
I could see other beings that most people would
23:13
be like, bitch is crazy over here. Right. But
23:17
I don't. Yeah. I mean, I could see all the things.
23:21
And I have really very vivid early memories from
23:25
even when I was still in diapers about, you know,
23:28
experiences like that. I think I was probably
23:31
about four or five when I started to realize
23:35
that It was not a safe topic to talk about So
23:41
I'd finally become that age where I'm talking,
23:44
you know, I'm communicating well But once I think
23:48
I realized that other people weren't experiencing
23:52
the things I was hearing and seeing And it was
23:56
a scary Uncomfortable topic for them or I was
24:00
even dismissed with oh, she's got imaginary friends
24:02
or just bothered right at that point I started
24:05
to just be like Why don't huh just confused perplexed
24:12
like how how I don't understand why they're not
24:15
seeing these things as there's something wrong
24:17
with me They're treating me like there's something
24:19
wrong with me. There must be so then I internalize
24:22
that that that belief that shame and really did
24:27
think there was something wrong with me and I
24:28
couldn't talk about these things because it was
24:31
not accepted. And so, yeah. And then on top of
24:37
that, to go to bed at night and have that kind
24:41
of interaction in my room all the time and odd
24:46
experiences in the house always around me because
24:49
we're the medium, right? Everybody wants to talk
24:52
to us. So there's always flickering lights, doors
24:56
and cabinet opening and closing, voices in the
25:00
hall that don't belong to the people in the house.
25:04
So when I have to go to bed like that, that was
25:07
also really uncomfortable and terrifying because
25:10
who could I take it to? Oh, me, myself and I.
25:14
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And that's traumatic in so
25:19
many ways for a little kid to have to live like
25:21
that. And so, yeah, that put me in a place where
25:27
I had to quiet it the best I could. I had to
25:31
shut it down. I had to... And there's no shutting
25:33
it off. Let me just be very specific about the
25:37
difference between watering down and shutting
25:39
off. I couldn't just shut it off, right? We don't
25:42
get to do that. It's ingrained in our DNA. It's
25:46
not going anywhere. Now, can I repress it? and
25:49
fuck myself up doing that for years and years?
25:51
Absolutely, and that's what I did because I would,
25:54
because adulting, this is what responsible adults
25:57
do, we just avoid. So this is what we do. So
26:03
yeah, absolutely, I lived in the shadows. And
26:08
I didn't want to admit these pieces of me or
26:12
acknowledge them. And I didn't even understand
26:14
them any fucking way, right? Right. So it wasn't
26:18
till much, much later in life, and after, you
26:22
know, all the loudest, most abrupt tower moments
26:26
that, you know, the world sent to shake me, that
26:30
I would even come out of that shadow, come out
26:34
of that place and accept, oh, okay, I guess I
26:35
have to lean into this. And that's kind of what
26:37
happened. I think it was, you know, my daughter
26:40
died in 2012, and it wasn't until very early
26:45
2017 that I finally stepped out in public and
26:49
was like, oh, by the way, I'm a psychic medium,
26:52
ha ha. And it took a lot for me to get to that
26:57
point. And the decision came from, I'd run from
27:06
it. I did everything to give it back. I hated
27:10
it. I hated. all these pieces of me. And the
27:14
only thing that I'd never done ever, ever, ever
27:17
was acknowledge it or step into it. And I was
27:20
at a place in my life where everything was shit.
27:23
I'd lost my kid. I'd lost myself. I'd lost my
27:26
family members. Like, what else could I fucking
27:29
possibly lose? Right. So what do I have to lose
27:32
if I step into it? So what? Right. Yeah. And
27:35
so that's what it took for me to be like, OK.
27:38
I guess I'm going to just acknowledge it, lean
27:40
into it, and see what happens. And that is when
27:42
my entire world changed. Everything, just flip
27:46
-flop, like just completely jumped timelines.
27:49
Right? Yeah. So what are some of the most key
27:53
moments when that change started happening? What
27:56
are some of the key moments that really stood
27:58
out to you that made you understand that this
28:02
was truly the path that you were meant to take?
28:05
I don't know that I understood that that was
28:07
truly the path. I feel like it was more like,
28:11
this is the last thing you can try. It was more
28:15
like a forced reckoning. It wasn't like, oh,
28:19
this seems like a fun thing to try. It was more
28:23
like, bitch, you got nowhere else to go. You've
28:25
done everything else. So it's time to just trust
28:29
it and just jump, right? What are you doing here?
28:33
Like and it's like the universe is like almost
28:36
like laughing at me like seriously Like should
28:39
it have even taken this much but apparently so
28:41
so apparently so yeah, it happens in our own
28:44
time, right? like I like I moved into we built
28:47
a house and It's funny. So like when we when
28:52
we saw the property immediately, I was like,
28:55
well, this is it and Then when it, and it was
28:59
like 22 acres that we purchased and it was like,
29:02
yep, this is it. And then it's like, okay, where
29:04
do we build the house? I was like, no question.
29:05
It goes right there between those two trees,
29:07
right? Like it was already, I could just see
29:10
it there. And that house is what was the catalyst,
29:16
right? That made me wake up to know what I was.
29:22
Yeah. And it's wild that you intuitively know,
29:25
knew like where to put it because I'm willing
29:28
to bet there's some massive lay lines right like
29:30
right there. Oh, there was. I didn't tell you.
29:33
So yeah, there was actually a portal there. Oh,
29:36
yeah. And there was so much movement. And it's
29:41
like that's kind of like there's kind of the
29:44
portal is kind of like an entry point to where
29:47
beings could come and go from. Yeah. And yeah,
29:52
let's put that medium right there. Yeah. The
29:56
one that doesn't know she's a medium. So we're
29:58
going to throw her here. We're going to freak
30:00
her the hell out. Throw her into the deep end.
30:02
This is how you do it. Sink or swim, right? Yeah.
30:05
Gotta love it, right? Like when they decide to
30:07
put you into something and make you go there.
30:10
That's like, yeah. Oh, gotta love it. Oh yeah.
30:14
And there's no turning back what I've discovered.
30:17
There's no, I need to get so mad sometimes because
30:19
I'm like, Can I just go back to being blissfully
30:22
ignorant? I fucking think that's so much easier
30:24
sometimes, but you can't. You can't. There's
30:28
no unseeing this. Like you said, there's no going
30:31
back. And believe me, I sit down some days and
30:35
go, I miss the days when this shit was easy.
30:37
And it wasn't actually easy. I used to say I
30:44
miss the days of being normal, but what I realize
30:46
is that. Yeah, but what's really normal. That's
30:49
really not normal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
30:53
I will say it's, it's a huge responsibility to
30:57
be a conduit of some of the wisdoms that we get
30:59
to move through, you know? Yes. And, you know,
31:05
what I've discovered is The various, I'm trying
31:11
to find the right way to put this. The various
31:17
amounts of truths that's out there. Did I say
31:20
that right? Like, you know, things that you hear,
31:24
you know, you think that are just like crazy
31:25
stories or whatever, but there's truth to a lot
31:28
of it. And being able to accept that, acknowledge
31:31
it and not judge people for what their truth
31:34
is. That's been the biggest thing for me. through
31:40
all of this. Because it's crazy because as a
31:42
medium and you're sitting down with somebody,
31:44
I don't know if I'm sure it's happening to you,
31:45
like they're telling you stuff and it's just
31:47
like, this is really crazy, but I'm receiving
31:51
messages that validate what they're saying. Yeah.
31:56
Or that support what they're saying. Well, yeah,
32:00
it's evidential, right? There's no way we would
32:03
have known that had we not sat with them. Yeah.
32:06
Yeah, and we're sitting there. I don't know what
32:11
your practice is, but I'll actually sit down
32:13
and I'll write out on a piece of paper, like
32:15
all the things that are being shared with me
32:17
before the person even pops on. And so most of
32:21
the time, if they book a psychic session with
32:24
me, that's what it looks like. I've sat down,
32:26
I've connected, I've poured everything out on
32:29
this piece of paper. I've dated it and time stamped
32:32
it, taken a picture. And then they hop on. And
32:36
as soon as I start reading off the paper, they're
32:38
like, well, that's all I called for. You just
32:40
nailed it. So like, it's already all there. It's
32:42
all there. And so nine times out of ten, that's
32:44
how it works for me. So like, you know, it's
32:46
just wild. And then they go, yeah, cool. OK,
32:48
well, I think you covered everything. Yeah. So
32:51
yeah, pretty much the same. So mine started I
32:54
started doing psychic fairs and and I felt so
32:58
odd because all the other readers in there would
33:01
be there with their their tarot decks, you know,
33:05
and, um, I would be there with a pen and paper.
33:07
That's all I had. Cause I don't know tarot at
33:10
all. So I do know. I do because, uh, in my earlier
33:13
days, like I would, I would play with it. And
33:16
you know, when you have neurodivergence, uh,
33:19
and all, and PTSD and all kinds of things like
33:21
screaming in your brain, I'll tell you what was
33:23
really cool about it. Um, it, it helped me have
33:27
a focal point. So Did I learn the tarot? Absolutely.
33:31
Do I need the tarot? No. But it's like staring
33:34
at a piece of artwork on the wall. It just gave
33:36
me a place to focus so I could tune in. That's
33:39
what it is. Nice. That's how it trained me. And
33:42
then once I was trained to just tune, I didn't
33:44
need that shit anymore. OK. Nice. So it's really
33:48
great for people like that. Yeah. Yeah, it's
33:51
actually a really great building tool. Yeah,
33:53
OK. No, I tell people all the time, like, I will
33:56
do Oracle cards, so that will help with me. But
34:00
no, when I first started, it was a pen and paper
34:02
and they would sit down. I would write their
34:03
name at the top and the date, and then I would
34:05
just start writing everything that was coming
34:08
to me. I would put it down, you know, and then
34:10
I would start trying to read it out to them as
34:13
I was doing it. And then it got to the point
34:15
to where the information was coming in so quickly.
34:18
I can't even keep up with it anymore. I just
34:20
have to say it right. I can't. So I'll write
34:22
down like keywords now. You know, but yes, absolutely.
34:28
I've absolutely done that. And I'll be like,
34:30
OK, you got any questions? I'll be like, no.
34:33
Yeah. You check the boxes, girl. Yeah. Yeah.
34:37
So so yeah, I love that. I love that. Yeah. Well,
34:43
and it's it's good. It's good to have feedback
34:47
from people that are open and willing to give
34:49
shared share their truth and the feedback. Because
34:52
especially in the early days while you're building
34:54
your confidence because that's how we know What
34:57
what does this piece mean? Like when I'm sitting
35:00
there and I'm writing stuff and I'm like, well
35:02
this sounds weird as fuck But until I sit with
35:05
that person and they go, oh, here's what that
35:07
is. I Don't know what that means until they validate
35:10
it for me. I'm just like I'm just I'm just the
35:13
vessel here Like yeah, I'm not passing judgment.
35:16
I'm just writing the things right and then they
35:18
have to validate that for you and Again, that's
35:22
really imperative when you're learning. Like
35:25
now, do I need that validation? No, it's still
35:27
nice to have. But do I need it? Not at this stage.
35:30
Yeah. But there were times that I did. Oh, absolutely.
35:34
Yeah, absolutely. And if you can get into a group
35:37
where y 'all can practice and validate one another,
35:41
that's a great opportunity. I can't tell you
35:44
how many times it's like, well, this is going
35:45
to sound weird, but. Blah blah blah. I don't
35:51
know why but something about pigtails and a yellow
35:54
flower. Do you know anything about that? Yeah,
35:59
I think that was the last one. I was like something
36:01
about a yellow flower and pigtails Does that
36:05
make any sense? I'm like, oh, there was a picture,
36:07
you know, and I was like, oh, OK, nice. Yeah.
36:10
And I don't know, like, since I think you said
36:13
you're a medium. So I don't know if you lean
36:14
more into the medium stuff than the psychic stuff,
36:16
because we're both right. But I tend to prefer
36:20
more psychic stuff, but I'm still a medium. So
36:22
like one of the I still relay the message if
36:25
there's a spirit talking to me, regardless. Right.
36:27
Like I'm still going to deliver. But it's not
36:30
it's not necessarily my favorite part of the
36:33
of the experience I agree for me But I want to
36:39
say one of my more recent clients and he was
36:42
brand new to me never met him before Sat down
36:46
did my thing and man I had a presence coming
36:49
in going I got here from I came here from Ireland
36:52
on a boat and all these things like very like
36:56
very specific things. And I was like, so, hey,
36:59
I have a spirit here that said she came from
37:04
Ireland over on a boat and yada yada. Like I'm
37:07
telling him all the information. He goes, oh,
37:09
that's my mom. And I was like, oh, well, that
37:12
would explain why she was up in front and so
37:14
like loud and like, here's my presence. So it's,
37:18
it's things like that. You don't really know
37:19
what it means until you sit with the sitter and
37:22
then you're like, oh, okay, now this makes sense.
37:25
Yeah. Yes, and I could yes and no I'll do I do
37:29
prefer just like the information coming through
37:32
versus trying to connect with somebody Because
37:35
I feel like I have to lower my vibrations to
37:38
connect with them Sometimes you know yeah, and
37:42
it can get a little I want to say choppy It just
37:47
doesn't it doesn't feel as good. Yeah, it definitely
37:50
I feel like I feel like that too I feel like
37:53
I have to move into a different frequency. And
37:58
that frequency is such a small radio station
38:01
that it's draining for that to continue. So that's
38:07
why I don't prefer to do the medium stuff. I
38:10
mean, obviously, I'm going to deliver what's
38:12
given, but it's not my favorite part, right?
38:15
So it's just... It is what it is, girl. We all
38:18
have our preferences. No, I agree. I'm 100 %
38:21
right there with you, because I feel like I have
38:23
to tune in at a different level. You do. It's
38:26
a little bit harder. Yeah. It takes a lot more
38:28
work to do that. It does. Absolutely. Yeah. So
38:32
I have two more questions for you. This one's
38:36
not going to be put on the spot too much, but.
38:39
Girl, I love being on the spot. You're good.
38:44
So, what does it truly mean to own your own essence
38:47
and reclaim the confidence of your personal power?
38:51
So, when I came up with own your essence, it
38:56
was my most polite lady -like way to say own
39:00
your shit. Fucking step into that mess. Like,
39:03
get in it. Claim all those pieces. Right, wrong,
39:06
ugly, you know, whatever you think it is, it's
39:09
yours. It's yours. That's your gift. Take it.
39:14
And again, where those shadows are, where that
39:17
messy stuff is, all the shit people mostly avoid,
39:21
that is your magic. That is your power. That
39:24
is where you get your confidence back. That is
39:27
how you grow. And most people are like, oh, no,
39:30
let's not do that. No, do it. Do it. Do it. Yeah,
39:34
absolutely do it. Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful.
39:37
Like, yeah, and I think it's important for us
39:39
to own what we truly are, right? Who and what
39:41
we truly are. Every single piece of it. Yeah,
39:45
absolutely. So I'm going to ask you to tap into
39:49
your psychic gifts just a little bit. I don't
39:52
know if you've ever been asked this before, but
39:55
I just want to see if your guides or whoever
39:58
you connect with have an overarching message
40:03
for our listeners. That's kind of on the spot.
40:08
So it is just because I feel like I've already
40:10
shared the message I needed to share. So in that.
40:14
Yeah, I'm like, I feel like I feel like that's
40:17
what we were already doing. So I'm like, let
40:19
me. So yeah, no got nothing like that. That was
40:23
it that was organically the thing nice Yeah,
40:26
I love this like, you know being able to you
40:29
know move through grief and own our own power
40:31
and believe in what we have Yeah. Yeah, I am
40:37
hearing right now though. This is a little more
40:40
specific But there are more of you struggling
40:44
with suicide then What's the word I'm hearing
40:50
more of you struggling with this suicide, the
40:56
soul trying to decide whether or not it wants
40:58
to continue in this path. And the message is
41:03
that you're not wrong for feeling what you feel
41:07
and your soul's evolution doesn't have to be
41:11
judged. And I feel like that has to be shared
41:14
because so many people get shamed for feeling
41:20
that way. They also get abused and pressured
41:25
to show up in a way because, oh, somebody said
41:28
it had to look like this or somebody says I have
41:31
more responsibilities or I have to care for other
41:34
people's feelings. That's actually not your responsibility.
41:37
And those weights make what they're feeling amplified.
41:41
It makes it worse. It's not helpful. And so that's
41:45
the other piece of this. Have compassion. for
41:48
people that are struggling with mental health
41:50
and stop trying to fit them into your narrative,
41:53
like stop being selfish. Absolutely. I agree
41:56
100 percent. Our mental health is very important,
42:00
right? I know. So I have one, two, three, four,
42:09
five, I have five family members who have committed
42:12
suicide. You know, and I have a couple myself.
42:16
So yeah, so um, and I don't judge them for that
42:20
I didn't walk in their shoes there I wasn't on
42:22
their path and You know, I'm a firm believer
42:25
that We're gonna leave this existence the way
42:28
we were planned to leave it before we even got
42:30
here Absolutely, we already have it so much of
42:34
it was locked in the moment. We took our first
42:37
breath Right, so free will Probably 80 % of it
42:41
happened before we entered this right before
42:44
we realized that it was a thing. So yeah, it
42:46
was already logged in Right. I mean, yeah, and
42:49
it's like, you know, you don't know what that
42:52
other person is dealing with so having compassion
42:54
understanding grace for that as well and letting
42:59
go of the narrative right like and and I definitely
43:05
agree with like getting a mouse out of that box,
43:08
you know, but Be there to listen to them, be
43:11
there to understand, you know, I have somebody
43:13
very close to me now that talks about it from
43:15
time to time. And I was like, yeah, I would love
43:17
to be selfish and say, I don't want you to do
43:19
that because I want you here. But then again,
43:23
I'm not in. I'm not walking their life every
43:28
moment of the day, I'm not in their emotions,
43:30
I'm not in their their physical body, I'm not
43:33
in everything that they have to struggle with.
43:35
Right. And so. I can't put that pressure on them.
43:40
Right. And that's that's it's great that you
43:43
have that awareness. Most people don't. I had
43:47
way too many family members that applied pressure.
43:50
And guess where they're at in my life now? Not
43:52
very close to me. Right. Because those people
43:55
that claim to love you really just want you to
43:59
fit in a piece of the version that they think
44:03
you are. Right. And How fucking disgusting and
44:07
selfish is that? You love me? No, you don't.
44:12
You just love yourself and what you think this
44:15
is supposed to look like. And it's just sad.
44:17
Right, it is. Yeah. Yeah, no, I 100 % agree with
44:22
that. And it's amazing. So I am so thankful that
44:27
you're here today. I know. This is so fun. Thank
44:31
you for having me. So yes, so tell us about where
44:34
and so of course I'm gonna have it in the show
44:36
notes but I definitely you know Tell our people
44:38
where they can find you and how they can work
44:40
with you and what they can What they can get?
44:43
Yeah, so I have a website. It's called April
44:46
Demille calm my Podcast is on your essence and
44:51
it's on Apple Spotify YouTube If you're looking
44:57
to get a hold of me the quickest way is probably
45:00
through email on my website or Facebook, actually.
45:04
Facebook Messenger works really well. So yeah,
45:07
if you're interested in a reading or just even
45:10
a discovery call to see if you need a little
45:13
help moving through some grief of your own, those
45:16
are booking links available on my Facebook page
45:19
as well. Yeah, and I'll have everything in the
45:22
show notes, so make sure you check those out.
45:24
Um, so you could get in touch with April and
45:27
have your discovery call and see how y 'all fit.
45:30
Yeah. See if we jam, see if we jam. Absolutely.
45:39
Um, so thanks everyone and we'll see you guys
45:42
next time. Bye. Hi there. I'm Summer. I'm here
45:48
to help you navigate the journey of self -trust
45:51
and finding your authentic self. Every episode
45:55
is a step toward knowing yourself a little better.
45:58
Thanks for spending this time with me. If something
46:03
in today's episode landed, sit with it. You don't
46:07
have to figure it all out right now. Just notice
46:09
what's stirred. Subscribe so you don't miss what's
46:13
coming, and share this episode with someone who
46:16
needs to hear it today. Until next time, remember,
46:22
you already know. This is how you learn to trust
46:26
it.