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American Model Starved to 0% Fat — Now She’s a Crowned Queen Abroad · Babes, how did you get here

• 0:02
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  Babes, send them the podcast.
• 0:21
  Sydney is an international model currently studying marketing.
• 0:25
  She's in her third year at university.
• 0:27
  Up until the age of 18, she had only lived in the States, but since then, she has spent extensive time in Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, and now I have caught her here in Cambodia.
• 0:38
  Before she tells me her entire life story, I have to ask, babes, how did you get here?
• 0:43
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• 0:48
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• 0:55
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• 0:59
  So when you leave, start traveling at 18, what is it model contract work that's bringing you around?
• 1:06
  Yeah, so I finished Thailand when I was 16, came back, finished high school, did my cheerleading prom and all that stuff.
• 1:15
  And then 10 days after I graduated through the hat, 10 days later, flew to Malaysia.
• 1:22
  It took a while to get the contract and I knew that that was something I wanted.
• 1:25
  So you flew there without the contract?
• 1:28
  I flew there with the contract.
• 1:31
  It took quite a few months prior to leaving to get it.
• 1:34
  There's lots of ups and downs.
• 1:36
  That was a tough time.
• 1:39
  When you say ups and downs, what do you mean?
• 1:42
  Because getting a contract, you have to get accepted by the agency.
• 1:47
  So it was a lot of test shooting.
• 1:50
  I worked really hard that last year of high school to do a lot of shoots to grow my portfolio and grow my social media and really become appealing.
• 2:01
  But I was also cheerleading and I was a lifeguard swim instructor, I was very, very active and very fit.
• 2:08
  And I got a lot of complaints about my muscle mass.
• 2:11
  Oh really?
• 2:12
  From agencies.
• 2:12
  I was like, oh that sounds great.
• 2:13
  And you're like.
• 2:14
  Yeah.
• 2:15
  Yeah, I would think so too, right?
• 2:17
  It's a great thing.
• 2:18
  But I got a lot of complaints about muscle mass, just like body shape, especially trying to go to countries like Korea and Japan.
• 2:28
  I was like pretty sure I was going to Japan.
• 2:31
  This contract had been sent.
• 2:32
  I had signed it.
• 2:33
  And right at the last minute before they signed it, they said, oh, like canceled it because of my body.
• 2:39
  But did they not know your body before they took you to this point?
• 2:43
  They did, which is the thing.
• 2:44
  They had my measurements, they had all that stuff.
• 2:47
  And I think that was pretty discouraging.
• 2:51
  But I was really resilient.
• 2:52
  I was like, I'm gonna do this.
• 2:54
  I did it in Thailand, I can do it again.
• 2:56
  People believe in me, I believe in me.
• 2:59
  I've been modeling for a long time, like I can do this.
• 3:02
  It was like cry for a day, like let's move on.
• 3:05
  And we moved on and got it in Malaysia.
• 3:08
  And my mom flew with me to Malaysia.
• 3:11
  She stayed with me for two weeks, helped me get settled there.
• 3:15
  And then she left back to the US and then I was on my own.
• 3:20
  How long was the contract in Malaysia?
• 3:21
  It was three months initially, but then I couldn't find a contract after three months.
• 3:26
  So then I extended for another three months.
• 3:28
  I was there for six months.
• 3:29
  Yeah.
• 3:30
  And when you get to Malaysia and you're modeling, what is like your day to day?
• 3:34
  Are you literally just waiting for a call to go to a casting, go to the casting, try and get the show?
• 3:39
  Pretty much.
• 3:40
  When I got there, I met with the agency, did.
• 3:43
  Normally we have to do agency visit, like take your digitals, get your comp cards.
• 3:52
  Yeah, that kind of stuff.
• 3:53
  Just meet with them, take measurements, of course, and then
• 3:58
  Normally the casting started like right away.
• 4:00
  They were pretty fast.
• 4:02
  Even in Bangkok, the first day I arrived in Bangkok, I was straight to a casting.
• 4:05
  Okay.
• 4:05
  So castings were like our pretty daily things.
• 4:08
  Is there a high demand in KL?
• 4:11
  Yeah.
• 4:11
  Actually, I worked really well in KL.
• 4:13
  Okay.
• 4:14
  The rates were pretty low compared to the US.
• 4:19
  Right.
• 4:19
  Higher than Indonesia, lower than Thailand.
• 4:22
  Okay.
• 4:23
  Thailand was more comparable to the US.
• 4:25
  To the US, okay.
• 4:26
  Yeah.
• 4:27
  But lower, but a lot of work.
• 4:28
  Okay.
• 4:29
  I was working pretty consistently.
• 4:31
  And this is shoots and shows?
• 4:33
  Shoots.
• 4:33
  I never walk in shows.
• 4:35
  Oh, really?
• 4:35
  I actually didn't walk until I came to Cambodia.
• 4:37
  Okay.
• 4:37
  Yeah.
• 4:38
  So shoot work.
• 4:39
  Yeah.
• 4:39
  Very cool.
• 4:40
  A lot of modest wear and Muslim clothes, a lot of hijab.
• 4:46
  I think that was my first job in Malaysia was hijab.
• 4:48
  And I was like over and over and over again.
• 4:51
  I think I could tie one myself now.
• 4:53
  But it was a good experience and actually taught me how to pose really well because I didn't have like accessories to play with.
• 4:59
  I just had to use my face.
• 5:01
  Amazing.
• 5:02
  And what is life like in in KL?
• 5:07
  I had...
• 5:08
  So when you go on contract, you live in a model apartment most of the time.
• 5:13
  They want you to live in the model apartments and it's normally cheaper for a model to live in the model apartment, generally speaking.
• 5:19
  Is it a singular unit or are you sharing with other models?
• 5:22
  You're sharing with other models, which comes with its struggles for sure.
• 5:27
  If you think about it, you have...
• 5:29
  There's a lot of Slavic girls who do modeling contracts.
• 5:33
  Okay.
• 5:34
  You also get a lot of South America, Brazil, Argentina, um...
• 5:41
  There's a lot of very different people.
• 5:43
  Right.
• 5:45
  And everyone's really attractive living in one apartment, men and women.
• 5:50
  So you can imagine they should put a camera and create a reality show out of it as well.
• 5:56
  But I've had really good model apartment experiences.
• 6:00
  Kuala Lumpur has some of the best model apartments.
• 6:04
  Oh really?
• 6:04
  Yeah, they're really solid.
• 6:06
  In terms of facilities and being decked out.
• 6:08
  Facilities, yeah.
• 6:09
  My room itself was pretty small.
• 6:11
  I had a roommate, she was from Russia.
• 6:14
  We were both the same age and we ended up getting along really, really well.
• 6:19
  We lived with two other girls and one guy, the poor guy.
• 6:23
  But it was, yeah.
• 6:27
  And then it kind of gives you like automatic friends.
• 6:30
  And they have, especially in Kuala Lumpur, they have a really nice community of models.
• 6:35
  There was another agency who had an apartment in the same complex.
• 6:38
  So another like six girls in another room.
• 6:42
  So we're all like pretty close by.
• 6:45
  I met a girl there.
• 6:47
  who was from Canada.
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  She's the same age as me, 18.
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  And we got along really well.
• 6:52
  We were just like, we met each other and we just went around together everywhere.
• 6:57
  18.
• 6:57
  To be like, halfway across the world, living this adventure.
• 7:01
  A part of me is like, oh my gosh, that sounds so amazing.
• 7:04
  And then another part of me is like, but that could also feel quite far and distant.
• 7:10
  And, you know, the modeling industry is,
• 7:13
  It's not the kindest of industries, right?
• 7:16
  In the sense that you go to castings, it can be competitive, you feel that competitive energy.
• 7:22
  And whilst I'm not saying that you can't have friends and stuff in the industry, it's just weird.
• 7:26
  Because you can want your friend to do well, but you still want to be picked as well.
• 7:29
  So there's like this tug of war, almost.
• 7:33
  Absolutely.
• 7:34
  I think it takes...
• 7:36
  I think it takes a really strong mind.
• 7:40
  And I think if you don't, it will get it.
• 7:44
  Yeah.
• 7:45
  And there is a lot of people who I've seen it.
• 7:47
  Like, it really gets you.
• 7:48
  And it has gotten me, for sure.
• 7:50
  There's times I've taken breaks and needed to stop.
• 7:56
  What would you say was contributing to the need for a break?
• 8:00
  Yeah.
• 8:02
  I think towards the end.
• 8:03
  So I had been doing modeling contracts for nine months straight.
• 8:07
  At that point, I was in Jakarta.
• 8:10
  And I had, in the process of trying to lose weight, I had ended up gaining more weight.
• 8:17
  But I was living with two girls, amazing, amazing girls, but both very slim, also struggled.
• 8:24
  When you say you're trying to lose weight, I'm trying to understand from, like, what size are we talking that you're trying to lose weight from?
• 8:31
  A size that probably didn't need to lose weight.
• 8:34
  Okay.
• 8:34
  And was that an internal pressure or was that pressure from the agents?
• 8:39
  In the sense that I tell people this all the time, I don't eat rice.
• 8:42
  And everybody's like, how can you not eat rice?
• 8:44
  Jamaica rice is a big thing.
• 8:45
  I mean, being out in Southeast Asia, rice is clearly a big thing.
• 8:48
  But the reason why I don't eat rice now is because I generally just think it's a waste of calories because I don't actually really like rice.
• 8:54
  Unless it's some rice and peas cooking, then I'm like, yes, please.
• 8:58
  However, I stopped eating rice when I was 14 because I was with an agency and I was on a diet for about three weeks of just water crackers.
• 9:06
  I don't know if you know what water crackers are, but it's just, it's dry ass crackers.
• 9:09
  Oh my God.
• 9:10
  Water crackers and water.
• 9:12
  That was it, right?
• 9:12
  And it was for the purpose of losing weight.
• 9:14
  Oh my goodness.
• 9:14
  And so I wonder, like when models tell me that they're trying to lose weight, I always wonder, is it just an internal psychological, I'm looking around the room and I'm thinking I need to give myself a better opportunity.
• 9:27
  Or did you feel that your agency was guiding you in that direction?
• 9:31
  I think it was both.
• 9:33
  And actually, I think the internal pressure was what I struggled with more.
• 9:39
  When it came to, like, in Malaysia and Indonesia, I worked really, really well.
• 9:43
  Like, in Indonesia, I was working maybe seven days a week.
• 9:46
  It was six, seven days a week.
• 9:47
  It was insane.
• 9:49
  Kuala Lumpur, I was working...
• 9:52
  one of the best in the market.
• 9:53
  I was, like, really proud of that.
• 9:55
  But I was also probably one of the bigger models.
• 9:57
  Okay.
• 9:58
  Just because you're surrounded by very small people, it's just... And tall, too.
• 10:03
  Right.
• 10:04
  Tall and very slim.
• 10:06
  But at that point, I could tell them, like, they can tell me to lose weight, but I'm working really well.
• 10:11
  So I was, like...
• 10:13
  What, if I lose weight, I have to work more?
• 10:16
  Sure.
• 10:16
  I'm good where I'm at.
• 10:17
  Yeah.
• 10:18
  But living with people who look so slim, standing next to them in photos, also hearing things like when they look in the mirror and they're like, I need to lose weight or I, oh my God, I'm so bloated today.
• 10:33
  Yes.
• 10:33
  And then you look at yourself and you're like, oh my God, what do they think of me?
• 10:36
  You know, it's it's not they're not any it's the self comparison.
• 10:42
  And then you also have this voice of like, you need to lose weight.
• 10:44
  And I'm just like, go away.
• 10:47
  Like, I got it.
• 10:49
  But I think also I grew up very, very hyperactive.
• 10:54
  I was always in sports, dancing, cheerleading, was a lifeguard, swim instructor, swim instructor.
• 11:00
  also gymed a lot.
• 11:01
  Like it was just a very part of my lifestyle.
• 11:04
  And then when those sports and also I wasn't working as a lifeguard, I wasn't cheerleading six days a week anymore.
• 11:11
  I needed to go to the gym, which isn't something I ever really enjoyed.
• 11:17
  I enjoyed that much.
• 11:19
  And so it was just also like entering adulthood of like, I switched my routine and like I have all, I was pretty like muscular and,
• 11:29
  It's more muscular than I am now.
• 11:31
  And it was a great thing, but I think it was like, how do I maintain this?
• 11:37
  Or do I maintain this?
• 11:38
  And then I was hearing, lose weight, you are too muscular.
• 11:40
  How do you lose muscle?
• 11:41
  Yeah.
• 11:42
  Can you lose weight in your arms?
• 11:43
  What?
• 11:45
  Like, I don't know.
• 11:46
  I don't know.
• 11:48
  It was like, it was also trying to figure out how to do it.
• 11:52
  I've always prioritized health, and I was...
• 11:55
  Yeah, water crackers and water is not the healthy way, I can tell you.
• 11:58
  Oh my gosh.
• 11:58
  That sounds...
• 12:00
  I love food too.
• 12:01
  Like, I love to eat.
• 12:03
  That would be really...
• 12:05
  Even, and then mentally being like, don't eat that, don't eat that, don't eat that.
• 12:08
  It makes you want to eat it more.
• 12:10
  Yeah.
• 12:10
  And then also like the binging.
• 12:12
  I think I was struggling.
• 12:13
  The reason I gained it while I was trying to lose it was the starving and binging thing.
• 12:17
  Okay.
• 12:18
  So you would be like, during the day, I'm not having it, I'm not having it, I'm not.
• 12:22
  And then at night, give it all to me.
• 12:24
  Yes.
• 12:24
  Yeah.
• 12:24
  And it would be like...
• 12:26
  We're also, I was pretty overworked in Jakarta.
• 12:30
  Okay.
• 12:31
  And it wasn't like really, it wasn't, the day-to-day jobs weren't enjoyable jobs.
• 12:36
  There was like once a week, like good jobs.
• 12:38
  Sure.
• 12:38
  But day-to-day it was like very boring.
• 12:40
  What kind of jobs?
• 12:42
  Like catalog.
• 12:42
  Okay.
• 12:43
  Just like 200 clothes and ding, ding, ding, ding, change, ding, ding, ding.
• 12:46
  What are the jobs that you like?
• 12:48
  I love creative work where we're trying to tell a story.
• 12:52
  Okay.
• 12:52
  I love it when we're strategic and there's a purpose to what we're doing.
• 13:00
  I like when the client is trying to tell a story and there's a reason that I'm dressed this way, my makeup is this way, the set is this way because we're trying to make someone feel this.
• 13:12
  Right.
• 13:12
  And we're trying to tell this story.
• 13:14
  Rather than, like, I look pretty and I'm holding a product.
• 13:16
  Right.
• 13:17
  Those things I'm, like...
• 13:19
  Okay.
• 13:20
  And Jakarta was more of that type of work?
• 13:23
  Yeah.
• 13:23
  Just, like, white background and, like, fast fashion.
• 13:27
  Very, very...
• 13:29
  Yeah.
• 13:30
  And I think after those jobs, also not speaking the language when you're at work and everyone's speaking a different language and you're just like isolated, it's very isolating.
• 13:40
  So I would come home, my friends and they were great.
• 13:42
  I love like they were such great people to have there.
• 13:46
  The girl I was living with was actually my first friend in Malaysia and we ended up like meeting in Jakarta on accident.
• 13:51
  It was amazing.
• 13:52
  But we would come home and we'd be like,
• 13:54
  crackers, cheese, chocolate, wine, like every night.
• 13:58
  My favorite things.
• 14:00
  Yeah, and great things, like I could kill for some of that right now, but maybe not every night after not eating, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't the right thing to be binging.
• 14:11
  Where was your mental state at during this period?
• 14:15
  It was progressively getting worse.
• 14:16
  Okay.
• 14:17
  I think
• 14:19
  I really love routine and also health is something that I've always been very focused on, especially as being very hyperactive as a kid.
• 14:29
  I was eating pretty clean.
• 14:31
  My parents were always very good about making us have balanced meals.
• 14:37
  Now I'm on my own and I'm like, ooh, like I can just make my own decisions.
• 14:42
  And like, I just wasn't eating the right way.
• 14:44
  I wasn't having this routine and being active and those things made me physically feel bad.
• 14:49
  Right.
• 14:49
  Which mentally made me feel bad looking in the mirror all the time because my apartment was full of mirrors.
• 14:55
  We actually ended up covering our mirrors because it was like such a problem.
• 14:59
  Yeah.
• 14:59
  And then when you're shooting normally, at least in Jakarta, you have a mirror so you can see you're posing.
• 15:04
  Okay.
• 15:04
  And you're also
• 15:06
  fully changing right there because you're doing 200 clothes it's like no one's got time for shame but no like I carry that now like whenever I'm on set even when someone's doing sound and I get it right like in the UK it's very politically correct very like file an harassment suit kind of vibe right and so the sound guys will be micing me up and they're so nervous I can feel their nerves because they don't want to do the right thing
• 15:29
  And I say to them, babes, I'm from Jamaica.
• 15:31
  Please, just do what you need to do and let's keep it moving.
• 15:33
  But also, in my mind, I think from the few runway shows that I used to do, there is no time for you to say, please don't touch me that way.
• 15:42
  Yo, get the clothes on and get out.
• 15:44
  Shut up.
• 15:45
  Go.
• 15:47
  It's so funny.
• 15:48
  Yeah, and I also got very used to that.
• 15:50
  And I think I definitely still have that now.
• 15:53
  Here, I am a bit...
• 15:56
  I actually had to adapt a bit to be a bit more like...
• 15:59
  careful about changing and people are very is it because that will make other people uncomfortable i think they're just not used to it like people are um a bit more conservative sure and like in indonesia if i asked for a changing room they'd be like are you kidding right