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How to Make Big Career Decisions: The Head, Heart, Gut Test with Kasey D'Amato · Loud & Lifted

0:00
Sometimes the hardest decisions aren't hard because
0:02
we don't know what to do. They're hard because
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we know exactly what needs to happen and we don't
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want to deal with the conversation, the reaction,
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or the fallout that may come next. In this episode,
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I'm talking with Casey Diamanto about how to
0:15
make clear decisions without getting pulled off
0:17
course by fear, outside pressure, or emotion.
0:21
We get into her head, heart, and gut framework.
0:24
How to identify your Polaris point. What distraction
0:28
is often a sign that you're avoiding something
0:30
important and how to move forward without losing
0:33
yourself in the process. Casey has a really practical
0:36
way of helping people get out of the spin cycle
0:38
and back into action. And honestly, there are
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several moments in this conversation where I
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found myself thinking about decisions I needed
0:44
to make in my own life. So let's get into it.
0:47
Welcome to Loud and Lifted. Casey, thank you
0:50
so much for being here. Thanks for having me.
0:53
Yes. So we have a big discussion today because
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we're going to talk about decision making and
0:58
not like a corporate spreadsheet kind of way,
1:01
but just how big decisions are made. It's something
1:04
that I think we take for granted, right? We do.
1:06
We make decisions every day, sometimes small
1:08
and sometimes large. But what you focus on are
1:11
those big business decisions and helping people.
1:15
So when leaders come to you with a business decision,
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what's usually underneath it? We all face so
1:22
many decisions every day and we have decision
1:24
fatigue. When the big decisions face us in business
1:29
and in life, we sometimes either freeze or we
1:33
react or we overthink because we have... data,
1:38
we have emotions, we have our gut reaction, and
1:42
all of it is muddying the waters for what is
1:46
the best next step. And you know, we're thinking
1:49
about big decisions. A lot of people will ask
1:51
me, what are you talking about? Business, this
1:53
might be a massive change. If you're a business
1:56
owner, this could be a pivot this could be a
1:59
partnership this could be considering an exit
2:01
or an expansion it could be hiring or firing
2:04
if you're a manager this also could be hiring
2:06
or firing could also be making a pivot or change
2:09
so it's you know no matter what level you're
2:11
at whether you're in management or you're a founder
2:15
you're facing these big decisions that impact
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your professional journey, your business, your
2:19
career, but also impacting your personal journey.
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And so all of the human element, the human emotions,
2:28
the emotional intelligence muddy the waters.
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There's lots of fear that we don't even recognize.
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mixed in with making a data -driven decision.
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And so how do we align both of those things?
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Because it's not about the data alone and it's
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not about the emotions alone or our gut reaction.
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It's how do we balance all three? Well, it's
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funny that you say that because I was thinking,
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you know, there's some people who are like, I
2:51
just decide with my gut. I just go with it. I
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do what I feel and I'm going. And then there's
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other people who I can think of who are, this
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is clearly not me, super over analytical and
3:00
do need the spreadsheet, need the pros and cons
3:03
list and, you know, have 50 conversations about
3:06
it. And I'm sure it's somewhere in the middle,
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right? So how do we get to that middle spot where
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we're not just completely going on our gut, but
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we're also not like... What do you call it? Paralysis
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analysis. Exactly. So I call it the head, heart,
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gut theory. And so the way that I think about
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this is all people have versions of this, but
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I think about the head part when we're looking
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at the data, we're looking at historical data.
3:30
So whatever decision we're facing, let's say
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we're thinking about making a major change with
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our business or our career, right? So we have
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to look at some numbers there. So we're looking
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at revenue or maybe your salary or bonuses, things
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like that. You're looking at historically, have
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things been growing? over the last three years.
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If yes, then that's a good thing if finances
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are your goal. But if no, then it's time to make
3:53
some change, right? So I take the people, imagine
3:56
that you are not in your same setting in your
3:58
business or your career. You are in a new environment
4:01
with people you do not know. You're only looking
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at the data at this point. So you visualize yourself.
4:06
without any of the human beings around you that
4:10
normally are around you, because we're all influenced
4:13
by the people that are around us the most. So
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when you look at the data part, visualize that
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you're someplace with nobody that you know, entirely
4:19
new business, new career, new people, looking
4:23
historically, and then you're thinking about
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your future goals from a data standpoint. Are
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you on track historically to then hit these future
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goals? Again, with all new people, nothing to
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do with people that are around you right now,
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only the data. And so you look at, you do this
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analysis first. If you're a spreadsheet person,
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I mean, even if you're not, you force yourself
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to think about the data. Imagine you are not
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around any of your coworkers, any of your employees,
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any of your team, even your family. You are alone
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in an entirely new professional journey, looking
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at only data. That's step one. Step two, reverse
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that. We're not talking about data. We're talking
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about just the people around us and we're thinking
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who is influencing this decision? What am I feeling
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good or bad about? Who is going to be impacted?
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What am I afraid of hurting someone's feelings
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or having to let someone go or not being around
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these people that I care about or worked with
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for so long? We're not thinking about data at
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all. We're just thinking about the people and
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we're making a list of people like if I make
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this decision. Who am I going to feel sad that
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I'm going to not be around? Or who am I going
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to feel happy that I'm not going to be around,
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right? And we're analyzing that. And then our
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last question is, regardless of what the data
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shows, regardless of the people, now we visualize
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again, we're someplace that we're not around
5:40
the people that we know. The numbers don't really
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matter. What's our gut instinct? What just brings
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us joy? What's just the thing that we know instinctually
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we want to do? It's irrelevant of what the data
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says. That might say one thing, but our gut says
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another. The people around us might be influencing
5:56
us in a certain way, but our gut says another.
5:58
So the head, heart, gut, two of the three need
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to be in alignment for the decision to be the
6:03
right decision for you. And that's how I approach
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major decisions in a very summarized version
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of that process. Sometimes I do it in a whole
6:13
single strategy day with clients, but in a short
6:16
two -minute summary, that is the basic concept
6:20
of what we work through when we're making a big
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decision. I love that head, heart, gut. So that
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goes back to not being at one end of the spectrum
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or the other, but you're at all three, essentially.
6:30
All three, each other and like really work it
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out. So, I mean, again, sometimes I do this in
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a full day workshop with a founder or partners,
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but you really work it out and you look at one
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completely separate than the other. As soon as
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they start to, you're running numbers and you're
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like, but this person said, but it's going to
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impact this person. Nope, no, we're in a whole
6:46
new business. We're visualizing a new business,
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a new career, a new role. We don't know anybody
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here. So. There's no people that can influence
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more looking at the data part or looking at the
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people part. We're not talking about numbers.
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We're just talking about the human beings and
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how we feel and how they feel. No, that's great.
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And it's funny, the last year I've been working
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with founder CEOs with their companies and helping
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them grow. And what's been interesting is coming
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with that outside perspective, I come in with
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the the data, right? Like I'm thinking with my
7:13
head and when we're talking about teams or structure
7:15
or making decisions, I will upfront say them
7:18
like, look, I'm not emotionally attached to your
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brand, your team. I'm telling you by everything
7:24
I've seen and read and looked through, like this
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is a decision. So it's interesting because I
7:28
try to at least be aware that, you know, there's
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a human, there's a heart piece to this because
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I've been on the other side of those conversations.
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But, you know, it's hard. You see the leadership
7:38
team sitting there and being like, Okay, I know
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this might be the right thing, but like trying
7:42
to get to that and make them feel good about
7:44
it, right? Our decision, it's their company,
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but understanding why you're getting there is
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super important. So the other piece of that that
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I would think would come up is how often do you
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see that leaders aren't focused on the right
7:58
problem? Like they're trying to work around it
8:00
because maybe it is a big decision or they're
8:02
trying to fix symptoms. So, you know, they want
8:05
to hire more people or launch a new initiative
8:07
sales are down, you know, whatever it is. How
8:09
do you get people to even see the right problem
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they should be focused on? Yeah, that's a great
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question. So You know, I, like you, I work with
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founders and CEOs a lot and executive teams.
8:20
The first thing we do is we identify the Polaris
8:22
point. So what is the end goal? The Polaris point
8:25
is that North star. It is that end goal of what
8:28
we're working towards. And then we reverse engineer.
8:31
So the end goal is we usually set it in about
8:33
three years into the future. So where do we want
8:35
to be in three years in the future? This is financially.
8:39
This is time, freedom, whatever that means for
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you. This is your relationships and your quality
8:45
of life, right? So we look at all these three
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things in the business and personally three years
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in the future. And then we reverse engineer what
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do we need to do in the next 90 days? So we back
8:54
it up to what do we need to do this year? Then
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all the way back to what do we do in the next
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90 days? So when we do that, we're making sure
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that the decisions that we're making today actually
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are taking us that just one step closer to what
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the three -year target is. And we're not getting
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distracted by a decision that is in left field
9:13
that we think is the most important right now.
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We come back, I call it zooming out the telescope
9:19
methods. We zoom out with the telescope so we
9:21
can see the whole map. We say, okay, whoa, whoa,
9:23
whoa, we're going down this rabbit hole to make
9:25
this one decision, but is this decision taking
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us one step closer? If we're looking at a board
9:31
game, are we on one step closer? box closer to
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that three -year pull hours point goal, or is
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this a distraction that's taking us into left
9:41
field? Is this a pivot that we want to intentionally
9:43
make? Sometimes it is. As long as we're intentionally
9:47
making that, we're saying, you know what? This
9:49
is actually going to slow us down or this is
9:52
going to distract for a period of time, but it
9:55
is worth it for these other reasons. We're going
9:57
to accept the fact that this is going to maybe
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delay that three -year goal a little bit longer
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because this other initiative is important, but
10:04
being really intentional so that we're not being
10:06
distracted. We're not making decisions because
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we're running away from a hard conversation that
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we don't want to have, which is 99 % of the time.
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What happens with these distractions is we're
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just not facing the thing that is the most critical,
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the hard conversation, the one, literally one
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conversation that needs to be had, but it's uncomfortable.
10:27
It's with a person that we don't want to have
10:30
it with for a variety of reasons. Maybe it's
10:32
somebody that we're very close to. We don't want
10:34
to hurt them or they're very loyal or we had
10:36
a long relationship or maybe it's someone that
10:39
is the opposite. There's a little bit confrontational
10:41
and there's friction. We don't want to stir the
10:43
pot and get them worked up. Either way, there's
10:47
typically a conversation with a person that is
10:51
uncomfortable that we're avoiding. And so we're
10:53
focusing on this other distracting decision.
10:57
that is not going to get us closer to the Polaris
10:59
point. And at the end of the day, we're just
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going to have to have that conversation if we
11:04
want to reach our goals. Otherwise we're going
11:05
to be in the same place next year as we are today,
11:08
still spinning our wheels. Oh, that's so true.
11:11
And it's that workaround, right? Like it doesn't
11:13
work. Maybe it works for a week or two, but it's
11:15
not a long -term strategy. And you're speaking
11:18
my language, talking about the bigger goals and
11:21
having like, I call them quarterly rocks that
11:23
like tie into those bigger goals. It can be really
11:26
overwhelming when you look at your business and
11:28
like, wow, we're not where we're at from a sales
11:30
perspective or whatever that goal is. And then
11:33
you start throwing everything at it. nothing
11:36
actually moves. So knowing where you're trying
11:39
to go, but it's like those baby steps to get
11:41
there and keep people focused. So how does emotional
11:48
intelligence relate to decision making? So emotional
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intelligence is what I'm really passionate about.
11:54
So my background, I come from a medical background,
11:57
a medical degree. I went to medical school at
11:59
USC and became a physician assistant. My minor
12:02
was psych and I practiced medicine for 20 years
12:06
before I started my entrepreneur journey. And
12:08
I've started three businesses. One of them I
12:10
took on a global scale and The human behavior
12:14
of emotional intelligence has been very fascinating.
12:17
As I look back at my trajectory now, I've made
12:19
an exit from that business. Um, and I mostly
12:22
consult advise, um, for other founders and their
12:25
teams now. And most people think that emotional
12:28
intelligence is just managing your own emotions.
12:30
Like I'm not going to overreact in this circumstance.
12:33
And while that is important in that sort of step
12:36
one. there's really four quadrants to emotional
12:39
intelligence. So the first one is you're recognizing
12:42
your emotional state. And people are like, well,
12:44
what does that mean? Well, you're waking up in
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the morning, you're either feeling good about
12:48
today or you're feeling, I call it heavy about
12:51
today. Heavy means you're stressed, you're overwhelmed,
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you're burning out, you're frustrated, you're
12:55
annoyed, you're angry. Any of those negative
12:58
emotions are on the left -hand column. So you're
13:01
just feeling. Like, this is not going to be the
13:04
greatest day when you wake up. The other side,
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you're feeling like, I'm excited about today.
13:08
I'm joyful. I'm energized. I'm feeling good.
13:11
You know, something's happening that is making
13:13
me feel light. And when we're excited, our whole
13:16
body language changes. We sit up a little taller,
13:19
right? And we're dreading our day. We're a little
13:21
more hunched over. We actually, our physiology
13:24
actually changes depending on our emotional state.
13:27
So step one is recognizing, are you in a positive
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or negative state today? Fill in all those sub
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words into what they are and just put them into
13:34
one or the other. Then how do you change your
13:36
negative state into a positive state? If you're
13:38
feeling that, what are you doing to get yourself
13:41
positive? Because if you're feeling frustrated,
13:43
overwhelmed, annoyed, angry, any of those negative,
13:46
you will be slower. and you will tend to react
13:49
in ways that are not the best for your business
13:52
or your life. So first is recognize your emotion.
13:55
Second is how do you change your emotional state
13:57
so that you can move faster? The third is how
14:00
do you recognize other people on your professional
14:03
teams or your family, their state, and how do
14:06
you impact and influence their state of mind
14:08
because they will move faster. So when we're
14:12
in a positive, emotional intelligence state,
14:15
we are feeling good. We can walk into the hardest
14:19
conversations, the most complex negotiations,
14:23
the most critical decisions that we have to make.
14:26
And we know we are addressing those decisions
14:29
objectively. We're using the head, heart and
14:31
gut. We're using the Polaris point. We're going
14:33
to come out with what I call diplomatic influence.
14:36
That's what I call with emotional intelligence
14:39
way of number four, when we're influencing other
14:41
people, we're being fair. We're communicating
14:44
so people are not in the dark. We're sharing,
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okay, we're making this decision because this
14:49
is the best for You and for the business or you
14:53
and for me, this is a win win in the best way
14:56
that I can see it be for everybody. And I know
15:00
your personal goals are this and your professional
15:02
goals are this. And I think this is going to
15:04
be most aligned, even if that means parting ways
15:06
with the other person, even if this is a termination
15:09
conversation or a partnership dissolving conversation.
15:13
you're still presenting this as a win -win so
15:15
that everybody is feeling good so we can move
15:18
fast and get to the next chapter and move on
15:21
from this conversation and not get stuck in this
15:23
indecision or in personal conflict as part of
15:27
the decision. So emotional intelligence is really
15:29
about... recognizing your own state. If you're
15:32
having a terrible, horrible day, we know the
15:34
book, what we read with a kid, I can't remember.
15:37
Alexander. Yes, Alexander. Yes, have a terrible,
15:39
horrible day. I call it the two minute rule.
15:41
Give yourself a timeframe of how long you want
15:44
to feel. Like I'm so flipping mad about this
15:48
circumstance. Like I want to kill somebody right
15:50
now. I can't believe this person did this to
15:52
me. We're human. We're going to feel this. So
15:55
give yourself a time frame. I call it two minutes.
15:58
Um, when I was a little kid, I had a temper tantrum
16:00
and I wasn't playing my friends and my parents
16:02
said, how long do you want to have a tantrum
16:03
and not play? And I said, two more minutes. And
16:06
I went in the corner and I composed myself and
16:09
I came back and went to play. So I chose how
16:12
long I wanted to. be miserable and not have fun.
16:16
And so as an adult, we can do the same. Like
16:18
this thing happened. This partnership is falling
16:21
apart. There is a lawsuit. Like something is
16:24
not good, right? And it's external and we can't
16:27
control it, but we can control our emotional
16:29
reaction to it. So how long do I want to feel
16:32
horrible about this before I want to feel like
16:34
I'm in control? I have confidence. I have clarity.
16:38
I'm not necessarily joyful, but I am feeling
16:41
like I can make decisions that are not out of
16:43
fear and out of a negative state and then start
16:46
to impact others in that process. Long response
16:51
to emotional intelligence. I speak on this at
16:53
keynotes all the time, but there's so many different
16:56
facets of how emotional intelligence impacts
16:58
decisions. The first is recognizing our emotional
17:01
state, getting control of it, and then starting
17:03
to understand how we can impact others. With
17:06
diplomatic influence is really the critical piece
17:09
of emotional intelligence in a professional setting.
17:13
Because we are human and we have emotions. They're
17:16
going to impact our decisions It's just are we
17:18
aware of when and how they're impacting our decisions.
17:22
That is the most interesting explanation of emotional
17:26
intelligence I've ever heard because I feel like
17:28
we throw that word out there a lot Especially
17:30
we're talking about somebody who wants to be
17:31
in leadership. Do they have the emotional intelligence?
17:33
We throw that out there, but it's always about
17:35
being aware of other people's feelings and how
17:38
they're going to respond. I've never thought
17:40
about it with like yourself. And that's huge.
17:42
That's such an important part. So I love that.
17:45
And the diplomatic influence. That's great. Yes.
17:49
Yes. And I also am a big fan of the two minute
17:51
because there was times where like, okay, before
17:52
I respond to this email or before I pick up the
17:54
phone, like I need to just walk away and get
17:58
a little clarity. Exactly. Exactly. Take that
18:01
break. Take that minute. It might be two minutes.
18:03
It might be a day. It might be a week, depending
18:05
on your personality. Just give yourself the timeframe.
18:08
Like I'm going to give myself X period of time.
18:10
And then I'm going to come back to this situation
18:14
and I am going to intentionally release the negative
18:18
emotional state. And I'm going to come back to
18:20
this with clarity and calmness. Yeah. Oh, that's
18:23
so great. So let's switch gears. Let's talk a
18:26
little bit about that internal clarity and that
18:28
outside pressure. And I think this is a big one,
18:30
especially for a lot of our high achieving women
18:32
listeners who are hearing this. And, you know,
18:35
we get really good at building this, what looks
18:37
like an impressive life from the outside, the
18:39
title, the business, the crazy calendar, the
18:41
reputation. And then suddenly we realize like,
18:43
Oh my gosh, we're exhausted. We're disconnected
18:46
or resentful. So how do we, if we're Someone's
18:49
listening to us and feeling that way, right?
18:51
Like it's it's emitting that but how do we explain
18:53
the difference? I guess first between that intrinsic
18:55
and Intrinsic and extrinsic decision -making
18:59
and then what does that look like when we kind
19:01
of need to do some self evaluation? Definitely.
19:04
So at any given time we're navigating extrinsic
19:07
change. These are things outside of our control.
19:10
So this is like regulatory changes that are coming
19:14
from political issues. This is geopolitical issues.
19:18
This is environmental, right? There's an environmental
19:21
catastrophe in our area. Something happens. I
19:24
live in South Florida. We get hurricanes. So
19:27
we have these big outside forces. economic changes,
19:32
right? Big outside forces or big industry changes.
19:35
So there's the big three. There's environment,
19:38
there's industry being impacted right now. We're
19:40
seeing AI impact industries. And then there's
19:42
sort of this like regulatory compliance, political,
19:46
you know, things. These are like the big three
19:49
other than our health, you know, and their or
19:51
our immediate family's health. And hopefully
19:54
that does not happen to anybody with getting
19:56
an unforeseen health diagnosis. But these things
19:58
are for most, most of us outside of our control
20:02
for most reasons. Everything else is pretty much
20:05
in our control. We just think it's not in our
20:07
control. So, you know, we can't control the weather,
20:10
but we can control if we put a rain jacket on
20:13
or have an umbrella. So are we going to stop
20:15
the rain from happening? No, but we can stop
20:17
ourselves from getting cold or shivering or feeling
20:22
overly unpleasant and uncomfortable in the rain.
20:25
And that is what I think is most critical to
20:28
think about. We're thinking about navigating
20:30
change and taking on too much. So over time,
20:34
we say yes to a lot of things. Our calendar gets
20:36
very full. There's all these extrinsic pressures
20:39
that we were perceiving as extrinsic, but they're
20:42
not really the big four. They're really things
20:44
that are inside of our control that we've allowed.
20:47
to influence and impact our daily schedule, our
20:51
mindset, our morale, and we're feeling like it's
20:54
outside of our control. We're feeling like, you
20:56
know, if you're in management that, you know,
20:59
there is a boss or supervisor that has expectations
21:01
or if you are a team leader or if you are a business
21:06
owner, you feel like you have expectations of
21:09
your team. that you have to deliver for them
21:12
or sometimes it's family sometimes it's community
21:14
and we say yes to so many things because we're
21:17
feeling like we quote have to say yes to these
21:20
many things but the reality is we're doing that
21:23
out of fear of Other people's perception of us
21:27
fear of letting people down fear of not looking
21:29
successful like we can quote do it all uh fear
21:32
of looking like we're a failure in some way if
21:34
we don't do all these things and Be presidents
21:38
of all these organizations and sit on all these
21:40
boards and do all the all these things, you know
21:42
So then we are quote less than right in our minds
21:45
if we're a high achieving person then that's
21:47
the perception that we have but what can happen
21:50
is you wake up one day and you're like what the
21:53
heck is going on with my life? Like there's way
21:57
too many things going on. I have lost myself
22:01
in this process. I've said yes to way too many
22:03
things that actually really are in my control.
22:06
If I put some boundaries up and say, no, I'm
22:08
not a failure or less than, I'm just protecting
22:11
my peace so that I can actually do better for
22:14
the people that are most critical and the initiatives
22:16
that are most critical. And the number one tip
22:20
that I have, opportunity to spend four months
22:24
alone in Morocco for a period of time in 2021.
22:28
Yes, that's the answer. We should all go to Morocco
22:29
by ourselves. Spend time by yourself. Because
22:35
after that experience, I got so much clarity.
22:38
That's actually a part of what made the exit
22:40
from my prior business. Big decisions were made
22:42
because all of a sudden it was not my 50 plus
22:45
shareholders or my board or other people's pressure.
22:48
I got clarity on me. And I was like, this is
22:52
not This business is not me anymore. This is
22:55
not. identity. This is not what I wanted to be.
22:58
This is not what I'm passionate about. Doesn't
23:00
bring me joy and fulfillment. And the only way
23:02
to really do that is to get comfortable with
23:04
yourself and so that you're not living life to
23:08
just please or to achieve something for someone
23:12
else. You're achieving only for yourself. So
23:15
it doesn't have to be Morocco, but I love that
23:17
idea. You spend even a weekend by yourself if
23:22
you can do that. And most people will say they
23:24
cannot. I would never have said that. I could
23:26
spend four months, but I think it's critical
23:29
that you understand yourself by yourself and
23:32
you understand who you are, what you want, what
23:36
brings you joy and what brings you fulfillment.
23:38
If you do not understand yourself and you're
23:40
very uncomfortable being alone, you will always
23:43
be in the trap of taking on too much to please
23:46
others and achieve for others until you can get
23:49
comfortable by yourself. I love Jay Shetty's
23:51
book. I love Jay Shetty's principles because
23:53
he did something similar. If you can get comfortable
23:56
alone, you will find that path of when to say,
23:59
no, you be comfortable. And you'll know this
24:02
has nothing to do with the, with my value because
24:05
I'm saying no to this thing. It's because I'm,
24:07
I want to put my energy really in this other
24:10
thing that is most important to me. And so that's,
24:14
that's my biggest tip. No, I love that. I totally
24:17
agree. If somebody says, okay, I got 24 hours,
24:19
I can go, you know, stay at a local hotel. I
24:23
can see you sliding up to do this, you know,
24:25
and then like, okay, now what? What do I do?
24:26
Do I just, do I sit here in silence? Like, what
24:29
would be if you have 24 hours to focus on this?
24:32
What would you do? No phones, no screens. You
24:35
are literally, get there, turn your phone off,
24:39
go to the hotel, wherever it is. I'm a beach
24:41
person, so I'm water person. Somewhere near the
24:43
ocean is for me, some people like the mountains,
24:46
somewhere where there's a natural something that
24:49
excites you and makes you feel at peace. It doesn't
24:52
have to be super duper remote. Where I was was,
24:55
but it doesn't have to be the more remote. You
24:57
get brownie points though, if you do go remote.
25:00
But if that really makes you panic, it could
25:03
be where there's people around, but no screens
25:06
and no communication. And you sit there and you
25:11
go, what do I do? And it's very uncomfortable
25:14
at first, super uncomfortable. And then you just
25:17
kind of figure out like, I'm going to just go
25:19
for a walk, or I'm going to just go downstairs
25:22
and get coffee. And I'm going to talk to a stranger
25:24
who's sitting next to me, which I would never
25:26
normally do. And I might learn something about
25:29
myself and having a conversation with this stranger
25:31
and learn something about them too. But you realize
25:35
that uncomfortableness of like, what do I do?
25:38
That's the point. is there's no expectation for
25:41
this 24 hours. There's no right or wrong. There's
25:44
no A plus rating. There is no revenue profit
25:47
and loss statement. This is just you figuring
25:51
out you and the act of doing nothing. When you
25:55
come back, the clarity comes when you come back
25:58
in the reentry. The clarity does not come in
26:01
the moment while you're there. When you're there,
26:03
you're kind of like, What the heck do I do? I'm
26:06
bored. I don't know what to do. I don't know
26:07
if I can do this. And you're spiraling in your
26:09
head thinking like, I'm going to leave. I'm going
26:11
to call someone. I'm going to turn my phone on.
26:13
I can't do it. But when you do it, the clarity
26:16
comes at the end. So the point is not to know
26:20
what you're going to do when you're there. That's
26:22
the point. It's just a clean day or week or weekend.
26:26
I love that. And it's funny. I used to travel
26:29
a lot more. I still travel for work by myself.
26:31
course. And in the beginning, it was like I would
26:34
go to my hotel room and do all this work and
26:35
be super focused and overly productive. And now
26:39
the last couple years, I would say sometimes
26:41
I would try to go sit at a bar by myself, which
26:43
is super uncomfortable, or go for a walk and
26:46
just disconnect more once, you know, my work
26:49
responsibilities were done. And I will tell you,
26:51
it was super awkward for me at first because
26:54
I'm extroverted. I like to be around people.
26:55
I feel like I constantly need to be busy. I just
26:58
don't want to sit there. So it took time. and
27:01
I was just in New York, the busiest city in the
27:03
world, right? Like, and I tried to like disconnect
27:06
and have that time to just even be down, right?
27:09
Because it's constantly just this feel of output
27:12
and you just can't think. And that's why I think
27:15
even little things when people talk about getting
27:17
their best ideas in the shower, on a run, like
27:20
it's because you're not like in overdrive. And
27:24
this is bad to mix. I know I'm not supposed to
27:26
do it, but when I go to yoga, I'm supposed to
27:28
be focused and I have to be focused or I messed
27:30
up because they're moving. It's power yoga, right?
27:32
Like it's super fast, but so many times like
27:35
either right near the end or after I'm like oh
27:37
shoot I have this idea or oh I need to do this
27:39
and it's like this clarity because I'm I am disconnected
27:42
I'm trying to trying to stay present focused
27:44
on my breaths but it's just that difference of
27:47
not sitting there and I can't be thinking I need
27:49
to do later I'm gonna be doing the wrong pose
27:51
yeah even those little moments if you can capitalize
27:55
on them I think can make a big difference definitely
27:57
a thousand percent so do you recommend you know
28:00
we talked about the north star and the employers
28:02
point Do you do that personally? Like should
28:05
people have that plan and that sort of goal that
28:08
you talked about from a company perspective and
28:10
tried to do that personally? Yes. So I highly
28:13
recommend this. I started doing this after attending
28:15
some events with Tony Robbins in 2017. When I
28:20
was facing some big, big decisions in business
28:22
and life, I spent some time and went to 11 different
28:25
events with Tony Robbins. I walked on fire and
28:27
did all, all of the things that he did. So cool.
28:30
And yes. And that's when I started with with
28:33
very intentional kind of this goal setting and
28:35
being very specific about compartmentalizing
28:39
the goals in different areas of life and business.
28:42
So you have the financial, you have the time
28:45
and the kind of the freedom. What does that mean?
28:47
And you have the relationships and in there you
28:50
have some contribution goals and things like
28:52
that. Now, my husband and I actually do this
28:56
a couple times a year. We travel because we like
28:59
the disconnect. We travel to another country
29:01
and we're not speaking English. There's another
29:04
language because that changes our mindset. Now
29:07
we cannot be thinking as much about the day -to
29:09
-day life because we're in a different culture,
29:10
different foods, different language. And we will
29:14
break down the targets in each area of life.
29:17
And we will assess, okay, since the last year's
29:21
goals, how close are we? and where are we off
29:24
target? And then we will set, okay, what do we
29:27
need to do in the next 90 days? But it's not
29:29
necessarily what, it's almost always who. So
29:33
it's almost always who do we need to separate
29:38
a little bit? from in our life and or eliminate?
29:42
And who do we need to add more of? Because if
29:45
we just say, what do we need to do? It just becomes
29:48
an endless list of to do tasks that is not realistic.
29:53
So the answer is the target goal is X in the
29:58
four different areas. How close did we get? And
30:02
if we missed, if we hit it, we celebrate. great,
30:06
let's set some new ones. If we missed, we think,
30:08
okay, why did we miss? this, this, this, and
30:11
this happened. Okay, this, this, and this needs
30:13
to happen. There are some things that I personally
30:16
can do, but if I haven't done them, there's a
30:18
reason why. I don't have the right accountability
30:21
person. I don't have the right person on the
30:22
team. Maybe like for me, health is something
30:26
that I am intentional about and I have terrible
30:29
habits on. So do I need to get a health coach,
30:31
a trainer, et cetera? Do I need to sign up for?
30:36
I'm up here in my house in Maine. I do golf lessons
30:38
when I'm up here. So how do I need to be accountable
30:42
to this thing? If golf was part of my personal
30:45
goals and I didn't hit it, well, then clearly
30:48
I'm not gonna do it on my own. I need to go and
30:50
get who, who do I need to hold me accountable?
30:52
If it's a professional setting or financial.
30:55
We missed the target. Who on the team do we need
30:58
to adjust, right? And so then we're looking at
31:00
these next 90 days and we immediately in that
31:03
moment, we set three meetings. The thing that
31:05
we missed the target on. In that moment in time,
31:08
we're like, who are we calling? We send them
31:10
an email or text. Hey, can you talk next week?
31:12
We're traveling right now. I want to get on your
31:14
calendar. So this might be a team member. This
31:17
could be a coach or mentor. And then we do this
31:20
twice a year, Christmas and New Year's and again
31:22
around 4th of July. We look again at the goal
31:25
setting and we align our three level of who's.
31:28
We call it a group of people that are like mentors
31:30
and coaches. Could be business. could be personal,
31:34
it could be health, right? It could be relationship,
31:37
anybody that's a mentor that has some wisdom
31:39
in this area. It doesn't have to be in even in
31:41
our. our business industry just has wisdom. Some
31:46
peers that we need to network with, collaborate
31:49
with, and then our team. So three level of who's,
31:52
who's our team of mentors and coaches, who's
31:55
our team of mentors and peers that we can bounce
31:57
ideas and cross -pollinate, promote, and who's
32:00
on our team. And twice a year, we set a target
32:04
of if we've missed our goals, if we're off track,
32:07
what are three conversations we need to have
32:09
with different levels of the who's. Immediately
32:11
so that the next 90 days will be different Wow,
32:15
that is so impressive and you hit so many important
32:17
important points the planning piece right obviously
32:20
and being intentional, but you mentioned other
32:24
people that You're not doing this alone, right?
32:26
It can be super overwhelming if you're sitting
32:28
there trying to figure everything out. And oh,
32:30
by the way, you also have an accountability partner
32:32
with your husband, which is amazing. But I think
32:34
that's where a lot of us get really hung up is
32:36
we think we have to sit there and do it all by
32:38
ourselves and figure it all out. And you're relying
32:40
on a different team of people depending on the
32:44
situation. So I love that so much. That's so
32:46
great. So it's funny, we started off this conversation
32:50
talking about decision -making and then we talked
32:53
for a couple different situations. But at the
32:56
end of the day, I think your superpower is clarity,
32:58
right? Like you help people get clear. And a
33:01
lot of times we don't want to make a decision
33:03
because we're not clear or we're not doing the
33:05
whole head -heart cut. So the fact that you have
33:08
this approach to get clear and then take action
33:11
is amazing. So if someone's sitting here, what
33:14
parting words can you leave them with where they're
33:16
like, I need to do something different, whether
33:19
it's personal. or for their business, what's
33:22
that first move that they can make? Because it
33:25
does feel overwhelming even though you did break
33:26
it down really well. The very first move is just
33:30
to identify the one conversation that needs to
33:32
be had. What is the one conversation with the
33:35
one person that you're avoiding? That is the
33:37
very first step. There is something right now
33:40
that you want. that is more achievable than you
33:44
think. And there is one conversation that needs
33:46
to be had. And this is either someone you're
33:49
bringing into your ecosystem or someone that
33:51
you're separating from out of your ecosystem.
33:54
And my biggest suggestion is set that meeting
33:58
up. Set the meeting up, have the conversation.
34:00
Who needs to come into your world? A coach, a
34:03
mentor, a team member. Who is it that you need
34:06
more of and who is it that you need less of?
34:09
Who is it that in your life is slowing you down?
34:12
And it doesn't matter if this is a significant
34:14
other. This doesn't matter if this is a team
34:16
member, an employee, or if this is someone in
34:21
your social circuit that just is negative energy,
34:23
that is a distraction. Who needs to be separated
34:27
from and who do you need more of and take an
34:30
immediate step to have a meeting that will make
34:33
this start to happen? Who are the people that
34:36
you need? If this is a very, very hard conversation,
34:39
who do you need around you to have this one conversation?
34:42
Because if you don't face the one conversation
34:44
with the one person, you are holding yourself
34:46
back. Oh, I love that so much, Casey. This is
34:49
amazing advice and a plan that I think is very
34:52
actionable. And I'm literally thinking in my
34:54
head some things I need to do this afternoon.
34:55
So thank you so much for helping me with my schedule
34:58
and taking some initiative on some of that. If
35:01
people want to connect with you, where's the
35:03
best way to find you? Yeah, so LinkedIn and Instagram,
35:06
Facebook to at Casey D 'Amato. I have a fun tool,
35:09
the decision diagnosis interactive tool. I'll
35:12
send that you can drop it into your show notes
35:14
if it makes sense. So that's kind of fun to give
35:16
you a little analysis on your decision making
35:18
skills. But please send me a message anywhere
35:20
on the social platforms. I'm on there. I try
35:23
to touch base once a day. So I love to chat and
35:26
talk strategy, clarity, Polaris point. I love
35:29
all of that. Great. Thank you. Thank you so much,
35:32
Casey. Thanks, Betsy. I think the biggest takeaway
35:35
is this. Clarity doesn't always mean the decision
35:38
feels easy. Sometimes your head, heart, and gut
35:41
can point you towards the right next move, and
35:43
it can still feel uncomfortable, emotional, or
35:46
disappointing. But staying stuck doesn't protect
35:49
you from the decision. It usually just delays
35:51
the conversation and keeps you spinning your
35:53
wheels. So take a minute and ask yourself, what
35:56
is the one decision I keep revisiting? And underneath
36:00
that, what is the one conversation I may be avoiding?
36:04
Casey also shared her decision diagnostic tool,
36:06
which can help you better understand how you
36:08
make decisions. We'll include that in the show
36:10
notes, along with the links to connect with her
36:12
on LinkedIn and Instagram. Until next time, stay
36:15
loud and stay lifted.