Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Mitchell Osmond and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker

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Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Mitchell Osmond and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

0:14
Welcome to Networking Unleashed Building Profitable
0:18
Connections, the show where stronger relationships
0:21
create stronger results. I'm your host, Michael
0:24
Forman. Today, we're stepping into a side of
0:28
networking that doesn't get talked about enough.
0:31
We usually focus on strategy, conversations,
0:35
and follow -up, but the truth is how you show
0:38
up in business is deeply connected to how you
0:41
show up in life. My guest today works with men
0:45
navigating careers, marriage, fatherhood and
0:48
the pressure of trying to handle everything at
0:51
once. He teaches that mindset, responsibility
0:55
and presence don't just shape families, they
1:00
shape leadership, credibility and trust in professional
1:04
relationships. We're going to talk about why
1:07
past experiences affect how you approach people
1:11
today and how emotional maturity impacts opportunity
1:15
and why the same qualities that bring a life,
1:19
bring a strong home, often build a strong network.
1:23
So if you build, if you want better connections,
1:27
better conversations, deeper trust and relationships
1:30
that last beyond the transaction, you're in the
1:33
right place. I'd like to welcome to my podcast
1:37
Mitchell. I'm really excited about what you have
1:40
to offer my listeners So why don't you just introduce
1:44
yourself and a little bit of how you got here
1:46
today? Thank you, Michael. I appreciate the intro
1:50
and I appreciate being here today with your listeners
1:54
Yeah, a little bit about me. I'm a coach to high
1:57
performing career driven men who are a lot of
1:59
times I'll say it's the men who want to reclaim
2:01
their home, their health and their happiness
2:03
without sacrificing career success. So a lot
2:07
of us fall into that trap of building the career,
2:09
building the business, but then lose track of
2:12
some of those things. Like you'd said, our marriages,
2:15
fatherhood, our health, our mindset. And so that's
2:19
largely what I do. How did I get here? I have
2:21
a wild story of I came from, and I'll do this
2:25
as quickly as possible, but I came from a background,
2:28
a childhood of dysfunction. I was raised without
2:31
a father in the home. There was a lot of alcohol,
2:34
drugs, crime, abuse, all those different things.
2:36
It was very messy. And I grew up to become a
2:39
young man who got married. And I thought I had
2:42
dealt with all that stuff, but... Within three
2:45
years of my marriage all those childhood wounds
2:47
began to bleed into my marriage and it took it
2:50
paid the price Michael I was always in positions
2:53
of leadership I always had it always made sense
2:56
to me business made sense to me, but yet when
2:58
I would come home I just I didn't have the same
3:02
skills and I felt powerful at work, but powerless
3:06
at home and so we My turning point, there were
3:10
really two turning points for me is a lot of
3:12
people ask that question. What made you do what
3:14
you do today? And there was two, one was a fight
3:17
and the other one was a funeral, okay? So the
3:20
fight happened, it was me and my wife and we
3:22
were sitting in the living room on the couch
3:25
and it just, it hit the fan and it spiraled and
3:28
the fight got quite heated. And we had fought
3:31
a lot. The first three years of marriage were
3:34
difficult. I was going through a dark season,
3:36
but this one was different. And I didn't know,
3:39
like I knew deep down if I didn't fix this, then
3:42
divorce would just be around the corner. And
3:45
to give you some more context, Michael, I had
3:47
recently been let go of a senior leadership position.
3:49
My career was everything to me. It was my identity.
3:52
So many of us men rap our identities around what
3:55
we do. And I spiraled, man. Like I ended up 60
4:00
pounds overweight. We were 100 grand in debt.
4:02
Now dangerously close to divorce. It was a very
4:05
dark season for me. And that week after having
4:09
that big fight, I come home from looking for
4:11
work, and I thought, man, as I parked in the
4:13
driveway, is this the day that I walk in and
4:16
I see the ring on the counter? It was that tense.
4:20
The second turning point was seven days later,
4:22
I was invited to sing at the funeral of this
4:26
wealthy man who's a philanthropist, and I was
4:30
a professional musician as well. And so... I'll
4:33
never forget there was about 2 ,000 people in
4:35
the room and I was getting ready to sing side
4:37
stage and as I'm preparing getting my guitar
4:39
and all that I overhear the minister ask the
4:42
congregation as he talked about all the things
4:44
this man had done he had asked the room are you
4:47
living a life worthy of imitation if you were
4:51
to die today would you be proud of the legacy
4:53
that you left and Michael for me at that point
4:56
I had this huge wake -up moment of wow if this
5:00
were my funeral And picture, I'm standing, I'm
5:04
playing guitar, I'm looking at the casket of
5:07
this other man, and I get this flash of where
5:10
my life is headed. And I think, you know what?
5:12
The answer to that question is no. No one would
5:14
be looking at me if this were my funeral and
5:16
saying, I want to imitate the marriage he had.
5:18
I want to imitate the way he took care of his
5:20
kids and his body and finances. Nobody would
5:23
say that. And so that day, Michael, I went home
5:25
and I made a bold decision. that I would die
5:28
to the man that I needed, that I would die to
5:30
the man that I was in order to become the man
5:32
I knew I needed to be for my wife and for my
5:35
family. I took ownership. And then there was
5:37
a lot of things that happened that season, but
5:40
over the next 18 months, I lost the 60 pounds.
5:44
We completely paid off that hundred grand of
5:46
debt, restored our marriage, and was free of
5:49
distractions and substances and all that stuff.
5:51
And then since then, man, dedicated my life.
5:53
I started helping friends of mine because I was
5:55
in leadership and a lot of friends could see
5:58
that what was going on, right? And they're like,
6:00
man, what's going on? You're on fire. And so
6:03
I started helping a lot of people just building
6:05
budgets or going to the gym, building plans for
6:08
them or helping them get closer to their wives.
6:11
And until one of my mentors said to me, And if
6:14
you really want to live a life worthy of invitation,
6:17
if you really want to have impact, you need to
6:19
turn this mess into a message and share your
6:22
story with the world. You need to start a podcast.
6:23
And so that's what I did two years ago. And then
6:26
from that came the coaching program. And then
6:28
from that, here we are today. And that's what
6:30
I do, man. I help the man I used to be. I'm a
6:32
huge fan of Ed Mylett. He says, you are the most
6:34
qualified to help the person you used to be.
6:36
And that's what I do today. I help high performing
6:38
men or career driven men reclaim their home,
6:41
their health, and their happiness, because that's
6:42
who I was. So that's what I, that's how I got
6:44
here. Great. That's great. It's a wonderful story.
6:48
It's a success story. It's, it's everything that
6:52
a man, I'm saying it because that's the lane
6:57
that you're in, but how a man can envision himself
7:01
and whether he can do better for himself or not.
7:05
And I think that we'll get into that a little
7:07
bit further as we ask the questions. You talk
7:11
about modern masculinity. How does a man's identity
7:15
at home influence how he shows up in professional
7:19
relationships? Yeah It's a great question. Let's
7:23
talk about modern masculinity first and then
7:25
we'll talk about how His home life shows up at
7:28
in his professional life. Um, I think we're living
7:31
in an interesting time in age Michael where there's
7:33
more polarization than ever before and there's
7:37
more Confusion, I would say in the Gen Z's, we've
7:40
never seen more confusion about what it looks
7:43
like to be a man in today's society. What it
7:46
looks like to be a strong, loving husband. And
7:50
if you think about it on social media, it's either
7:53
the hard one side of the pendulum where it's
7:56
like red pill, it's toxic alpha masculinity.
8:01
It's not great. But then you got on the other
8:03
side, there's this sort of soft kind of, weak
8:09
sort of representation of masculinity, where
8:12
men don't really, they're the nice guy, they're
8:15
very passive, they don't stand up, they don't
8:18
really have a spine, and there's not really many
8:20
people who are playing the middle ground. And
8:23
that's because, let's be real, in today's day
8:26
and age, clicks get likes, and likes help people
8:30
get paid, and so... Why would I talk about something
8:33
boring if I can talk about something polarizing?
8:35
So let's have an extreme point of view because
8:38
it's going to get clicks. And what happens though,
8:41
is then cultural narratives begin to form. And
8:43
so we've seen now more than ever a divide. Are
8:47
you intense, alpha, like red pill kind of mentality,
8:50
or are you feminist and just very, and very,
8:54
you actually don't really know what your role
8:55
is in the home. And so for me, The modern man
8:59
is a beautiful combination of both, of understanding
9:03
that, no, this isn't the 50s and 60s anymore.
9:06
Our roles have changed. And yeah, you're going
9:09
to change a diaper. Yeah, you're going to be
9:10
emotionally present for your family. But yes,
9:13
you will also be strong when you need to be and
9:15
stand up for your family. You are both strong
9:17
like a lion and meek like a lamb. And it's a
9:21
beautiful balance. But I don't think that many
9:23
people even understand what that looks like.
9:25
Now, how does that show up in work? I tell you,
9:28
and people say to me all the time, how does this
9:30
help my professional life? And I would say, when
9:33
you become more emotionally available with your
9:36
wife and learn how to hold space for emotions
9:39
and connect with her on that level, when you
9:41
learn to connect with your kids and be fully
9:43
present and not be distracted, all those things,
9:47
you develop those skills, you will be a more
9:50
present, compassionate, powerful leader because
9:54
your staff, your employees will feel more seen,
9:58
more heard, more acknowledged than they ever
10:00
have been. And so these two are not, it's not
10:03
a neither or, it's a both and, and it's a beautiful
10:06
combination when you can dial in those skills
10:08
at home, because they do translate professionally
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for sure. Absolutely, absolutely. And you hit
10:14
upon so many things. That I can't just take one
10:19
of them and talk about it because you hit so
10:21
many we'd have a three -hour podcast We would
10:24
so agree with you wholeheartedly Every point
10:28
that you just brought up many professionals try
10:32
to separate personal life from business Why do
10:35
habits inside a marriage often mirror the habits
10:39
inside? networking conversations Sorry, can you
10:43
ask that question again? I just want to make
10:45
sure I answer the best I can Many professionals
10:48
try to separate personal life from business.
10:51
Why do the habits inside a marriage often mirror
10:55
the habits inside networking conversations? Yeah,
10:59
I think people try and keep it separate. And
11:01
I don't know why people talk a lot about work
11:04
life balance. And I've never liked the word balance.
11:08
I think that's unachievable. I like this. I like
11:12
the word work life integration because work is
11:15
life. He spent eight, 10, 12 hours a day there.
11:19
Let's not just, let's call a spade, let's call
11:22
a spade. And so for me, it's so important for
11:25
us to understand that because what happens is
11:28
we can fall into this trap of not fully being
11:32
present when we're home because we're thinking
11:35
about work. And then when we go to work, we're
11:37
thinking about our kids at home and we're never
11:39
truly living this sort of integrated life. and
11:44
where you're never really present where you are.
11:46
You're in one place, you're thinking about the
11:47
other. And so for me, I think that's such a valuable
11:52
asset to be present where you are in the moment.
11:55
So a lot of times with my clients, I'll just
11:58
say, listen, be where your feet are. And wherever
12:01
you are, be there. And it's a simple phrase,
12:05
but the more you think about it and the more
12:07
you apply it to your life, It's profound because
12:12
it's okay be where my feet are if my feet are
12:14
in the nursery Or if my feet are in my kids room,
12:19
then I'm gonna be there with them reading the
12:20
story I'm not gonna be distracted about something
12:23
going on at work I'm not gonna be on my phone
12:24
if I'm in the kitchen with my wife I'm fully
12:28
gonna be presence and I'm gonna be engaging in
12:30
conversation with her as we're making a meal
12:31
together Same applies in business or be where
12:35
your feet are if you're in the middle of a boardroom
12:38
be all in You know what I mean? Don't be checked
12:40
out. Be engaged with the people who, whether
12:43
it's your staff members, your employees, or whoever
12:46
is listening, be fully present. Because now more
12:49
than ever, I think attention is one of the greatest
12:52
currencies we can give someone. We can invest
12:55
into someone. Because we're living in a world
12:57
that there's so much noise, and people get drowned
13:01
out, right? Because... Whether it's we're hyper
13:04
connected through social media through work through
13:06
email never I literally just said this on a podcast
13:09
episode that I released yesterday the average
13:12
person spends was it I Believe it was eight hours
13:18
a day on a screen two of those are social media,
13:20
but here's another crazy thing We consume up
13:25
to 140 newspapers worth of data every single
13:30
day. So when you think about your parents or
13:33
your grandparents and they'd sit around and read
13:34
the newspaper once a day, that's one. We consume
13:37
the equivalent of 140 of those a day because
13:39
we're so inundated with data and information.
13:44
What's the side effect of that? We're never fully
13:47
present. We're never fully tuned in because we're
13:50
being bombarded by digital deluge. And so it's
13:53
so important for us to be present in both environments.
13:56
And I think that's how they play together. Does
13:57
that make sense? It makes perfect sense. And
14:00
really the key point that I took from what you
14:04
said aligns with networking and it's be present.
14:09
No matter where you are, be present. And that
14:12
means if you're talking to somebody in a networking
14:16
event or a one -on -one meeting or anything else,
14:19
you want to be present and don't let any distraction
14:22
come into it. An example that I usually give
14:27
is when you're speaking with somebody and that
14:30
you have that person walking behind them that
14:34
you really wanted to talk to and like your eyes
14:37
are always darting and oh, I want to watch where
14:40
he goes because I want to get to him afterwards.
14:43
Trouble is people don't do that. You have to
14:47
stay in the conversation where you are. So you'll
14:51
be present, finish that conversation, then you
14:54
can go to the other person. But if you don't,
14:58
that person you're speaking to now, he'll say,
15:01
oh, he's really not interested or doesn't care
15:04
or, and I don't want to be the person that I
15:07
don't care because I care about just about every
15:10
conversation. Whether I put a high priority or
15:13
low priority, that's up to me. I want the other
15:16
person to feel present. Yeah. And let's park
15:19
there for a second, Michael, because here's the
15:21
thing. And I talk about this often, but here's
15:23
the message that you're sending. So if you're
15:25
in a networking event and you're looking at some
15:28
people behind them, what you're subconsciously,
15:30
what you're saying is everything going on behind
15:32
you is more important to me than you. Right.
15:35
If you're with your kids. and you're scrolling
15:38
your phone. What the subconscious message you're
15:41
telling them is, what's on this metal box is
15:44
more important to me than you, right? When you're
15:46
watching the game and your wife is trying to
15:48
talk to you, trigger alert, that subconscious
15:52
message you're sending your wife is whatever's
15:53
on that TV is far more important than you. And
15:56
these are not things that you would ever speak
15:58
with your mouth, but they're things that your
16:00
actions communicate. And so whether it's networking
16:03
or at home, these are important because This
16:06
is how it makes people feel. And it's becoming
16:10
more and more rare to genuinely lock in with
16:14
someone and make them truly feel seen and feel
16:18
heard and feel like a priority. And so I say
16:21
this all the time. The bar has never been lower
16:24
The bar has never been lower like it's so easy
16:27
to be present because so few people are and you
16:30
give them your Genuine attention and it's and
16:33
it's like it feels like a cold glass of water
16:35
to someone who's dying of thirst It's a beautiful
16:38
thing, but I tell people all the time Please
16:40
work on this skill because it is one of the biggest
16:43
things But one of the biggest levers you can
16:45
pull if you really want to care about those who
16:48
are in your life Whether personally or professionally,
16:50
so I'm with you, man Absolutely. This is where
16:53
the old saying, actions speak louder than words.
16:57
And so your actions are everything. Your mindset
17:01
matrix focuses on rewriting past beliefs. How
17:06
do old experiences with rejection or criticism
17:09
affect how someone approaches networking today?
17:13
You know what? That's a great question. And I
17:16
think that's one that I talk about a lot with
17:19
men. because so often we find ourselves as men
17:24
living in the past, right? So the mindset matrix
17:28
is this three -dimensional look at your life.
17:31
So the first end is backwards because everyone
17:33
thinks we're always looking forward to the future
17:37
and the past is behind us. But what we do in
17:41
my work is actually we flip the model on its
17:43
head. And so we start with The past and we redefine
17:49
the past because it's so important because whether
17:52
you realize it or not your past is shaping your
17:56
present and certainly determining your trajectory
17:58
in the future because. up to 80 % of the way
18:01
you see the world and the way you see yourself
18:04
is formed before you're 12 years old. And so
18:08
we have these 30, 40, 50 year old men who are
18:11
still using these narratives that they adopted,
18:13
these insecurities that they've adopted from
18:15
when they were 10, 11, 12 years old, and they're
18:18
shaping the decisions they're making today. And
18:20
it sounds crazy to think that way, but psychologists
18:23
would agree that's the way it works. And so what
18:25
do we do? We begin with the past. And we begin
18:29
to speak to what happened to us and identify
18:34
why we think the way we think, right? Because
18:37
that informs our present decisions. And then
18:41
we speak to our future and say, okay, now that
18:44
we've re -corrected the past, we're going to
18:47
change that narrative so that we change our trajectory.
18:50
The three -dimensional model is we redefine your
18:52
past, we rewire your present, and then we reclaim
18:57
your future. Right? And so the reason why this
19:00
is important because we all have these self -limiting
19:04
beliefs. I don't care who you are. We have self
19:06
-limiting beliefs. You are like some of us struggle
19:09
with the imposter syndrome. Some of us struggle
19:11
with self -sabotage because we believe these
19:14
lies. Who would listen to you? Right? Or you're
19:19
not good enough to do this. Or you missed your
19:23
chance. It's over. Or you're too old to do this
19:27
now. For me, and let me share a little personal
19:30
story of why this is so important and so profound,
19:33
is because Michael, when I was growing up, so
19:36
I have ADHD, and I was actually just diagnosed
19:39
with this a couple months ago, and it all makes
19:43
sense now. I grew up, and my family always said,
19:45
your sister is the smart one, and she was six
19:49
or seven years old, but she was really older
19:51
than me, sorry, but she was always really smart
19:54
in school. But because my brain didn't quite
19:57
operate the same way, I didn't do that well in
20:00
school. I really struggled. And so I grew up
20:03
thinking, you're not the smart one. And now I
20:06
never really questioned that until I was about
20:10
20. I would say, no, probably about 31, 32 years
20:13
old, where I was planning on launching a podcast.
20:18
And then, sure enough, what happened? That limiting
20:21
self -belief came up. Who would listen to you?
20:24
Why in the world should you start a podcast?
20:27
You're not the smart one That's your sister,
20:30
right? And so Michael I spent three years Trying
20:36
to muster up the courage to do this and to launch
20:39
the coaching practice. So what did I do? Because
20:42
I have ADHD I had to do something and get it
20:45
all out of my head and so I sat and I wrote content
20:48
frameworks systems topics for three years I have
20:53
a Google Doc that has over 800 pages of content
20:57
Because I just didn't have the courage to pull
20:59
the trigger because I was still wrestling with
21:01
this limiting self -belief Until finally when
21:04
I did so people are like, how do you get the
21:06
content for your podcast? I got two novels worth
21:08
But that's what held me back And until I really
21:12
unpacked that and I called out the lies. Right.
21:16
And I spoke truth into them. It completely sabotaged
21:19
so many parts of my life. And it took because
21:22
of that, it took me three years to make the decision.
21:23
I could have started a lot earlier. So that's
21:26
why I think it's so important for us to do that.
21:28
Does that make sense? It makes a lot of sense.
21:31
It makes a lot of sense. When I first started
21:33
my podcast about a year and a half ago, And I
21:38
went through, I'm a professional speaker. I go
21:41
across the country and I speak on stages and
21:43
everything. But when I wanted to start a podcast,
21:47
I began asking myself, if I started a podcast,
21:50
who's going to listen to me? Who would actually
21:54
spend 20 minutes, 30 minutes, even 40 minutes
21:57
listening to me? And after a while, my mentor,
22:02
he said, Mike, just do it. because the first
22:05
one, listen, I've done over a hundred podcasts.
22:09
And if I went back to the first one, I go, I
22:14
sound like that, but I started and I got better
22:17
and better, but all I have to do is start. So
22:21
that was my, my, my only holding back situation
22:26
because I never, I always felt I was good enough.
22:29
I always felt I had the presence. But I was always
22:32
thinking, who would listen to me? And that's
22:34
what I had overcome. Yeah. You know what? If
22:38
you don't mind, I'd love to share a framework
22:40
with your listeners that can help with rewriting
22:42
these limiting beliefs. Sure. So what I've developed
22:47
because this is so common with so many People
22:51
even I work with career -driven men high performers,
22:53
but it doesn't matter who you are Some of the
22:55
most elite guys struggle with the same thing
22:57
and this is this applies to all genders all walks
23:01
of life all positions But it's called a clear
23:04
thinking process. Okay, so clear it stands for
23:08
five different steps and see le ar so the first
23:11
step See call out the lie. Okay. This is the
23:16
story that you're telling yourself So you literally
23:19
would write that the story I'm telling myself
23:21
about blank is this and you want to go into much
23:24
as much detail as possible You might say I'm
23:27
the story. I'm telling myself as I'm just an
23:28
angry man Or I'm too far gone or I missed the
23:32
moment and that plays like a tape, right? It's
23:36
not a truth It's a tape that's playing but we
23:38
can hit stop on that The second step in this
23:41
process is and once we've called out the lie
23:43
is to locate the source This is critical. So
23:47
you might say something like the people that
23:49
have started this or reinforce the story or the
23:52
situations that reinforce the story are and then
23:56
you fill in the blank, right? Because the lie
23:58
or the limiting belief may have come from a parent,
24:01
a friend, a high school teacher, a bully, colleague,
24:04
could be anything. But it's important that you
24:06
name it because once you name the source, you
24:09
break its power. The third step is CLEE. evaluate
24:14
the cost. And this is probably one of the most
24:18
important steps. And this is where we ask ourselves,
24:22
what has living by this lie cost you so far?
24:26
Does it cost you your peace, your confidence,
24:29
your professional ceiling, whatever? And this
24:32
phrase you might write is, the results I'm getting
24:35
from telling myself this story are black, and
24:38
you fill it in. Right? And it's important you
24:41
feel the weight of that. Not to shame you, but
24:42
to get leverage to change it. Because you're
24:45
paying a price by believing this limiting belief.
24:48
The fourth step is A. Which is very important.
24:51
Affirm the truth. This is where we flip the script.
24:55
Right? We write a new statement that is true
24:58
about who you are. So the question you might
25:01
ask yourself in this step is what else could
25:04
be as true, if not more true, than the story
25:09
I've been telling myself. So for example, my
25:13
story, for me, the truth, because I was told
25:17
I wasn't the smart one, the truth was I'm an
25:19
intellectual. I'm focused and I have much to
25:22
offer this world, right? And so I'm rooting that
25:26
truth and directly negating the lie. The last
25:29
step is R, which stands for reinforce with action.
25:34
So this is where you don't just say it, but you
25:36
live it. and this is the question is what are
25:39
three to five negative thoughts habits or people
25:42
that you need to maybe put pause on or remove
25:48
and then what are some actions that you could
25:50
take three to five actions that can negate that
25:53
belief and so for me a major action to a step
25:56
to to eradicate that limiting belief was actually
25:58
to launch the podcast like you said like you
26:00
have to take that step right and so that That
26:04
process, the clear thinking process is what I
26:06
have all my clients go through when they find
26:08
themselves in a situation where they start doubting
26:11
themselves, they're about to go into a big meeting
26:13
or have a conversation with a high level person
26:15
where they start to feel that imposter syndrome
26:18
creep up. But here's the thing, I love this quote
26:21
from Carl Jung, he says, until you make the unconscious
26:24
conscious, it will direct your life and you will
26:28
call it fate. So what we do is we take those
26:31
unconscious thoughts and we bring them of a conscious
26:34
mind, question them, change them, and then change
26:36
our trajectory. Does that make sense? It makes
26:39
perfect sense. Makes perfect sense. I like that
26:42
also, by the way. And I'm saying this is good
26:45
that this is video because otherwise I'd be writing
26:48
down notes feverishly. In networking, people
26:53
often try to impress. What changes when someone
26:57
focuses Instead on responsibility. What changes
27:01
when someone focuses instead on responsibility
27:04
and consistency? Yeah, I think so many people
27:09
focus on being impressive and so what happens
27:14
is they You're having a conversation with someone
27:18
and they're talking and you're thinking how can
27:19
I impress them? What how can it be interesting?
27:22
what's the next big thing I can say that will
27:24
blow their mind and make them want to work with
27:26
me or whatever the case is, right? And it's totally
27:29
backwards. It's totally backwards. Because here's
27:32
the thing, if I do genuinely firmly believe this
27:36
to be true, it is so important for us to focus
27:40
on being interested, not interesting. Okay? No
27:45
one can, you know, we know this old adage, no
27:47
one cares about how much until they know how
27:48
much you care. We think, how can it be interesting?
27:51
It's not about you. How can you be interested
27:54
in that person, in their life, in that situation,
27:58
in this moment? Because the people that think,
28:02
man, he's here. He's interested in me. That's
28:05
the stuff that moves the needle. That's what
28:07
leaves an impression, not your fancy revenue
28:10
projections or the capital you raised or this
28:14
business model you're about to release. And I
28:17
think that's a trap we often fall into. And so
28:21
I'm constantly telling myself that, man, don't
28:24
be thinking, don't be interesting, be interested.
28:26
Don't be interesting, be interested. And I think
28:29
that it can, whatever situation, whether you're
28:33
working with a client, you're at a networking
28:35
event, you're having a conversation with your
28:38
boss even, whatever, right? Like it's such a...
28:41
powerful concept that I think so few people fully
28:44
maybe they understand like a lot of these things
28:47
we're talking about we intuitively get when you
28:49
say it out loud you're like yeah that makes sense
28:51
but the few who actually implement on that those
28:56
are the ones who really see an impact it's when
28:59
you go to it I'll say a networking event since
29:02
that's what I'm all about but you go into it
29:05
with what's called a servant's heart yes So you
29:09
go in thinking what you can do for others, not
29:13
expecting anything. And I, a lot of my clients,
29:17
they say, I'm going to this networking event.
29:19
I put some money down. I want to sell. And I'm
29:23
like, no, that's completely wrong. Right. You
29:26
want to go in, you want to ask interesting questions,
29:29
but go in with a servant's heart to see how you
29:33
can, one line that I use more times than not.
29:37
is when I have somebody in a networking event
29:40
and I hear everything, I have a bunch of things
29:44
that I go through, but I say, how can I make
29:48
you more successful? How can I be a good referral
29:52
source for you? And if I did my job correctly,
29:57
they'll say, Michael, I don't know what the hell
29:58
you do yet and you're already trying to make
30:01
me more successful. And that's going in with
30:04
the servant's heart. So if you do that, everything
30:06
you just said all comes together. Yeah. And I
30:11
think for that too, it's the moment, like even
30:14
if you're thinking to the back of your head,
30:15
what can I get out of this conversation? What
30:18
can I get by being here? If that is the filter.
30:22
I think you can smell that, you can sense that
30:24
in a conversation. And what goes from what could
30:27
have been a beautiful, beautiful interaction
30:30
that leaves someone walking away feeling like
30:33
you've invested in them or served them, it turns
30:36
it into a contractual thing where it's, okay,
30:39
I'll do this, but as long as you do this for
30:41
me, right? And that's not what you want. So there's
30:44
this servant hearted approach. I love that. That's
30:47
what we're called to do, I believe, and to make
30:49
relationships, to make people, to make the world
30:51
better than when we left there. I agree with
30:53
you, man. Absolutely. And plus it takes all the
30:55
pressure off you, right? It takes everything
30:58
off and you can go in and have a good time. And
31:01
that's really what it's all about. You're being
31:03
yourself, you know, you're being present. All
31:06
that comes in. When you have that mindset, it's
31:09
a change in mindset. And if you have that servant's
31:12
heart, then everything changes. When you think
31:15
about it, Michael, sorry, I just, we were talking
31:17
about this. That's a good point. You think about
31:19
how exhausting it is to be trying to listen to
31:23
someone talk to you while simultaneously thinking,
31:26
I got to say something great. What can I get
31:29
out of this? What can I say that's really going
31:31
to take me to the next level? That's tiring cognitively
31:34
versus hearing someone talk to you, be like,
31:37
man, tell me more about you. Tell me more about
31:39
your business. What are you passionate, what's
31:41
working for you right now? How can I help? That's
31:44
just so much easier, right? So it's like, why
31:47
not? It's a win -win. Yeah, it's a and people
31:51
love to talk about themselves 100 % and so if
31:54
you get to a conversation and have the other
31:56
person talk about themselves It's know you like
32:00
you trust you they'll do business with you So
32:03
that trust factor when you're talking to them
32:05
and talk about themselves That trust factor it's
32:09
going up and that wall between the two of you.
32:12
That's coming down So it becomes perfect Okay,
32:17
for professionals feeling stretched thin between
32:20
family and career, who can they build meaningful
32:24
connections without sacrificing what matters
32:27
most at home? Yeah, that comes down to, this
32:32
is the tricky thing that we all fall on. It's
32:34
a huge question because I think we all fall into
32:37
this. We want to have a great home life. We also
32:40
want to be successful professionally. We all
32:43
want those things. And I think the answer is
32:47
woven throughout the things that we've been talking
32:50
about today. But I think it's so important for
32:53
us to, because really what we're saying is, how
32:55
can we see success in it all? Not sacrificing
32:58
career, not sacrificing family. And for me, that
33:01
just comes to having strong boundaries in your
33:03
life. I did an episode about this last week,
33:07
just how we don't necessarily do an audit of
33:09
our time and our energy. And so we give away
33:12
our energy and our time to things that maybe
33:14
aren't moving the needle or don't matter. And
33:16
then we don't have energy for the career or for
33:19
the business or for our families. I call them
33:22
energy vampires. They just, vampires suck your
33:24
blood, energy vampires suck your energy, right?
33:27
And it could be relationships in your life that
33:29
you're just, and we all know, like we all got
33:31
those people when they send you, when you see
33:33
a text come up, you're like, oh, here we go.
33:36
Or you get a phone call coming, you're like,
33:38
do I want to answer that? whether it's energy
33:41
vampires through relationships or whether it's
33:44
through digital boundaries, right? I believe
33:47
phones can be energy vampires, email can be energy
33:51
vampires, all those different things. And so
33:54
to set up boundaries to say, I'm going to work,
33:57
I'm going to shut down at this point. I'm going
33:59
to close my laptop. And then another one. would
34:03
be digital boundaries, career boundaries, and
34:06
relational boundaries are really important. The
34:08
reason why is because if your energy is constantly
34:10
drained, you can't give, like the man who's trying
34:15
to do everything accomplishes nothing, right?
34:18
He's just average at a lot of different things.
34:20
So you're not gonna see the success professionally,
34:22
you're not gonna see the success at home personally
34:24
either, because you're never actually fully aware
34:27
you truly, you're not making people feel included
34:31
and seen and heard and all these things that
34:33
we've talked about because there's so much noise
34:36
in our lives right and so for me it's an exercise
34:40
that I think your listeners will benefit from
34:43
I walk my clients through something called the
34:46
life report card exercise because we fall into
34:50
this trap of constantly trying to do too much
34:53
right and you think about it when you were growing
34:56
up four or five years old we start school We
34:59
go for what over 10 years 12 years in school
35:02
and the whole objective is get straight a's Be
35:06
the best in every area We get out of there. We
35:10
go to university. What's the goal straight a's
35:13
could be the best in every area? So what happens
35:16
when we get a mortgage? What happens when we
35:18
get married and we try to maintain our health
35:21
and we get a career and we have kids and we Bills
35:24
and we get all these different it would get straight
35:25
a's and everything be amazing at everything The
35:28
problem is we try everything and we're successful
35:30
at nothing. And so the report card exercise says,
35:33
hey, I'm going to walk through the different
35:35
subjects of my life and I'm going to give myself
35:39
permission to be a B, maybe a B minus or C plus.
35:44
You might have to put something on the back burner
35:45
for a season because it's not that important
35:48
to you in this moment. For example, before I
35:50
had kids, I would train six days a week in the
35:53
gym. And I'd be there an hour and a half. I'd
35:56
sit in the sauna. I'd sit in the massage chair.
35:58
It was great. I could be an A plus in fitness.
36:01
Now, I've got two kids. It's different. I have
36:03
a marriage, a business, all those different things.
36:05
So maybe my fitness is a B plus. But hey, Lisa's
36:08
still on the report card. And there are going
36:10
to be some things that you might, dare I say,
36:12
you might actually have to give yourself an F
36:14
in because this is not serving you. And it's
36:16
no longer serving you. So you're going to say,
36:19
you know what? It's a fail. And I'm not even
36:21
going to try because I don't even know why I'm
36:23
entertaining this in the first place. This relationship
36:26
or this social media that I'm binging and wasting
36:30
time. You know what? That's enough and that's
36:32
fine. So give yourself permission to give yourself
36:36
that accurate report card and then that will
36:38
free up space for the very few things that you
36:42
want to be an A plus in. Does that make sense?
36:45
Makes perfect sense. In business, at the end
36:48
of the year, I see what worked. this past year
36:52
and things that didn't work. The things that
36:54
didn't work, obviously I got an F in and I just
36:58
get rid of it. I say, OK, I'm going to chop that
37:00
off and I'm going to create something new and
37:03
see how that works. So I do that. That's it.
37:06
That's an exercise that I do at the end of each
37:10
year around October, November. I start to think
37:13
about it. And December, I make those decisions.
37:16
So, yes, it's true. And I know about I have two
37:20
kids myself, probably a little bit older than
37:22
yours, 31 and 35. But. when they were growing
37:27
up. Look, I managed both their little league
37:30
teams. So that was the decision I had to make.
37:33
I could chase the dollar or I can take the time
37:37
off, be with my children and manage the team.
37:40
So I made the decision to manage the teams. So
37:44
I didn't make as much money, but the happiness
37:50
I got from my children was you can't put a number
37:54
on it. And I think that's the thing, right? We
37:57
kill ourselves doing too many good things. And
38:00
that's the thing, they're not bad things we're
38:01
trying to do. I was talking about this with a
38:03
client the other day and I asked him the question,
38:05
what good things do you need to remove from your
38:07
life to make room for the best things? And only
38:11
you know what the best things are because that
38:13
old adage, good is the enemy of great is the
38:16
enemy of the best. Right? And so you can completely
38:19
burn yourself out doing all really good things.
38:22
And that's the tricky part. What gets your yes
38:24
and what gets your no, right? And so give get
38:27
really comfortable handing out lots and lots
38:29
of nos so that the things that you give your
38:32
yes get all of you. And that's how you're going
38:35
to see success, both at work and at home. Absolutely.
38:39
Absolutely. All right. Let's bring this podcast
38:41
full circle. If someone wanted stronger relationships
38:45
in their family and their business in the next
38:49
90 days, what's my what's one mindset? Shift
38:54
would make the biggest difference That's good.
38:59
You know what and I'm tempted to just give you
39:02
some strategy some framework that I've created
39:04
But really the thing that's popping up to my
39:07
mind is a quote. That's just shook me like six
39:10
months ago when I heard it Time is the only currency
39:14
that we spend without knowing the remaining balance
39:18
What that means is Michael? I don't know if I
39:22
have 60 years or 60 minutes left in my life.
39:26
Now if I live with that kind of awareness, how
39:29
much different would I be treating those around
39:31
me? If I knew that I have six days left, 60 minutes
39:36
left, what would I say to those I love? How all
39:39
those different things? So for example, just
39:42
share a personal story. My nephew was 18 years
39:45
old and two years ago passed away in a drunk
39:48
driving accident. And right before he put the
39:51
keys in the car, he was sitting around a fire
39:52
with his buddies. Obviously, he didn't know that
39:56
he was living in the last 60 minutes of his life.
39:59
But what would he have said? What would he have
40:01
done if he had known that this is the last hour
40:05
that I'm going to be on this earth? And so for
40:07
me, Michael, time is so precious. And we give
40:11
it away to the stupidest things, the most frivolous
40:13
things. We waste it constantly. And so my challenge
40:17
and my mindset shift that I would encourage listeners
40:20
with is you don't know how much you have left.
40:23
So spend it wisely. Spend it on things that matter.
40:28
You know what I mean? If you're at work, be where
40:31
your feet are. Just connect with those people.
40:34
Make them feel seen. Make them feel heard. And
40:37
if you're at home, put the phone down. You know,
40:40
talk with your kids. Talk with your wife, make
40:42
her feel like you're fully there that she's cherished
40:45
or with your husband. And if you're a woman listening,
40:48
make him feel like he's a priority. And I tell
40:52
you, your relationships, your career, your own
40:54
health and wellness will be much richer for it.
40:58
And so that would be my encouragement, because
41:01
every once you do that, everything else gets
41:03
better. So I can't agree with you more. Everything
41:07
you've said, everything you brought to light.
41:09
made me think of things that I didn't even think
41:12
of. And I have made the decision where I am today.
41:18
I went from being in the military to owning my
41:22
own business, to growing corporate, to going
41:25
back to my own business. Well, every time I shifted,
41:31
it was a whole mindset shift. But everything
41:34
you said came into fruition. It just it's conjuring
41:37
up memories and things. And you're just so on
41:40
point with just about everything. Mitchell, how
41:44
can somebody get hold of you if they want to
41:47
be coached by you, if they want to say hello
41:49
to you or what's the best way for them to get
41:51
hold of you? Yeah, the easiest way is to check
41:55
out the website. It's just dadnationco .com.
41:58
Or honestly, if you just Google the dad nation,
42:00
you'll see my face plastered around everywhere
42:01
You just go on the website and my emails there.
42:04
There's a form you can fill out would love to
42:06
connect with you and Whether it's just a candid
42:09
conversation about where life's at for you What's
42:11
work and what's not or if you want to take the
42:13
step and actually work together? I'm happy to
42:14
have that conversation as well. But really at
42:16
the end of the day I've dedicated my life to
42:19
helping one million men reclaim their home, their
42:21
health, and their happiness through media and
42:24
mentorship. And that's what I do. That's the
42:26
two things, media and mentorship. And that's
42:28
the simplest way. And I tell you what, I'll give
42:30
you listeners a free gift if you're okay with
42:32
that. It's just called the connection code. And
42:35
what it is, it's a PDF. It's 50 questions that
42:40
are designed to spark the fun and get the fire
42:43
back in your relationship. Now, that's because
42:46
the reason why I developed this tool is because
42:48
we know that, for example, 80 % of the main reasons
42:52
cited for divorces today in the US is the main
42:56
reason is not kids, it's not abuse, it's not
42:58
cheating, it's not anything like that. It's emotional
43:01
disconnection. And by the way, 70 % of divorces
43:05
in the US today are initiated by the women in
43:06
the relationship, which is significant. So what
43:10
does that tell us? It gives us a big beacon that
43:14
our partners crave emotional connection. And
43:17
so these 50 questions are strategically designed
43:20
to help connect with your partner on an emotional
43:23
level, to go from feeling like roommates back
43:26
to soulmates. Very simple. The only thing I ask
43:29
guys to do is, hey, when you take her out on
43:32
a date, pull three or four questions off the
43:34
page and ask them to, or if you put the kids
43:37
down, pour up a glass of wine, pull some questions
43:39
off the page. And I'll tell you, Michael, I've
43:41
had women email me the day later, the next day
43:44
after a date, and I'd be like, who was this man
43:46
who was asking me these questions last night?
43:49
And the cool thing is there's stuff, everything
43:51
from like your dreams to just fun stuff to intimacy.
43:55
But you can actually, there's a big section on
43:56
this list that you can use to ask your coworkers.
44:00
to connect with them or to ask your children
44:03
to be fully, we talked a lot about presence,
44:05
right? These questions will draw you into each
44:08
moment. So you can just go to dadnationcode .com
44:11
forward slash code and you could download that
44:15
for free or I'll give you the link to it and
44:17
you can put it in the show notes. Great. That's
44:20
great. Mitchell, this was great. This conversation
44:23
is a reminder that networking isn't just a professional
44:28
skill, it's a human skill. The patience, consistency
44:31
and presence that strengthen a family are the
44:35
same qualities that strengthen business relationships.
44:39
Take one action this week. Choose one relationship
44:42
at work or at home and give it your full attention.
44:47
A genuine conversation, a thoughtful follow up.
44:51
or simply being present can change more than
44:54
any technique ever will. If you found value in
44:58
today's episode, be sure to like, follow, and
45:01
subscribe to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
45:04
Connections, so you keep getting practical insight
45:07
on networking and communication. And share this
45:10
episode with someone balancing career and family
45:14
and who can use it. If you'd help improving your
45:17
communication, leadership presence, or the way
45:20
you build relationships, visit Forman .com to
45:24
learn how I work with professionals, teams, and
45:27
organizations. Mitchell, I want to thank you
45:29
again for coming out of my podcast. You were
45:32
a great guest. Thank you so much, Michael. It's
45:35
been an honor and a privilege to be here, brother.
45:42
Hold on, folks. Don't go anywhere. Let's hear
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46:45
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46:48
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46:58
Remember, networking isn't about being perfect.
47:01
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47:04
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47:07
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47:11
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