Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / A Zach's Mom Classic

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A Zach's Mom Classic · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, guappo, Oh did you get a hair cut?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Did you get a little trim? Trim? Man, I'm working
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: on a show right now. I'm always getting haircuts. Do
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: you look good. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna blow smoke,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: but you're looking fine. You can blow smoke if you
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: want you. I will blow smoke all over you, oh boy,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: and I will watch it ripple all open my curves,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: all through your crevices and nooks. We need to get
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: this out because we're about to invite my mom on
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the show. Any naughty talk needs to come out right now. Okay, Well,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. Your mom's book made me cry,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: me too, dude. It made me cry a lot. Like
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I was sitting there like, wow, this is you know,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and I just read it before we did the show.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: So as I was walking up the stairs, I was like,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: get your shit together, Buck, tell her that because that'll
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: really move her. And of course it made me cry too.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: We today, guys are gonna have my mom on the
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: show and welcome, welcome, welcome, and we um, we're we're
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: gonna be sitting a little bit because Donald and I
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: are both going back to work, so um, o. Our
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: one year pandemic job is going to have to shift
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: a little bit. We're doing this on a Sunday afternoon.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you Joel and Dale for accommodating us. And um,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: and then and then we're gonna have a big whole
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: party with the live show, which is a Friday, the
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: twenty sixth, So we're skipping an episode, but we're gonna
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: come back to it later on. I guess that's what's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: going to happen. Yes, if you have a ticket to
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the live show, technically you will still get two shows
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: this week. I'm just saying you have. So please don't
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: yell at us for going back to one show here
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: and there, because we just can't. This has been so
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: awesome And don't think we don't love doing it, but
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: we're so thrilled that we actually have a chance to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: do some of the work we really do love to entertain.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: You are acting and m and so we're going back
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: to work for reels. Yes, yes, yes, but we're gonna
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: keep the show going because we love doing it. So
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: it's just gonna it might not be twice a week
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: all the time. Um, it might just be once a week.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: We also want to have the fun of folding in
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: special guests like Donald's mom and my mom and lots
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: of Um, we talked to all the stuff we've told
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: you about about people from the show, the stand ins. Um,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Joel is working on contacting the stand ins and some
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: fun crew members and all that stuff. UM. So I
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: just wanted to let's just go through a couple logistics
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: for the live show, because I did see there were
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: tons of questions on my Instagram and I'm sure Donald's
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: years as well. Um. I'm off Twitter, but Joel, I'm
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: sure you're getting Twitter questions, So fill in any blanks. Um.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: The answer is it is totally not globe. What do
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: they call that global locked? Geo locked? What's that term?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know it. I don't know, I don't know what. Well,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: somebodyple aast if it's geo whatever. The point is, you
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: can watch it anywhere stad Um, Kenya, Italy, the Uzbekistan.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Probably not North Korea. I'm guessing I'm sure you could
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: if if you if you were Waconda, it's playing in Waconda, yes,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: and Conda. It's available everywhere. It's available now, you might say,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: but Zach and Donald and Joel and Daniel, I can't
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: stay up in the middle of the night. That's fine.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: If you buy a ticket, you can then listen until
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: April second or right, Joel. Yes, it's a full week
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: after it premieres, so I believe. There you go, so
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: you get a week to listen to it or sorry,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: watch it. Watch it now. We have been outfitted with
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: dope mega cameras, so we're gonna look so pretty. We're
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: gonna look as we're gonna look our prettiest. Also, Donald
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: and I are both getting in shape to act, so
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: we look as handsome as we've ever looked. Well, I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: don't look as handsome as I've ever looked. I disagree.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I'm on the road. You're looking good, buddy, You're looking fine.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: You looking fly. You are a gentleman and a scholar.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: There's going to Bill Lawrence is our is our main guest.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: He's very excited. He called me with so many questions
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: from London. He's returning. He'll be returning from Ted Lasso
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: production to come be on our show. And and that's it.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to be roughly two hours what
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: we're aiming for. It'll be. If you're in North America,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: it will be six on the West coast, nine on
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: the East coast, and of course for all the other countries.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: You just have to google the time difference between you
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: and Los Angeles and you can watch it live and
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: if you're in the middle of the night and it's asleep,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: you can watch it the next day or blah blah
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Well anything. I'm forgetting to explain to
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: people that might have questions. I don't think, So it's
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: some clock. You guys can come in. We saw people
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: in the chat already. Ye chat isn't up and running,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: so go for yours. Not that we'll be up in there,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: but no, no, no, there'll be other fake doctor's real
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: friends fans in there. So if you yes, you all
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: talk with your with your peers, go right ahead. The
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: sound machine will be labeled so I won't accidentally hit
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: the wrong thing. Wo tank forever and um forever. All right,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: let's go ahead, and let's invite my mom in the show.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let's count said baby, five, six, seven, eight,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: stories about show we made about a bunch of dots
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: and nurses said stories never should so yeadoo around you
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: here are yadoo around you here. M Oh, my god,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I'm nervous. M Hi, Hi, mommy, Hi. I'm just making
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: sure I'm doing this right. Mom. Don't worry about ninety
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: eight percent of the people we have on have trouble connecting,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: so don't worry, especially Sarah Chuk for some reason. Yeah,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Sarah Chalk every single time, Well every time you've been
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: good company. Yeah yeah, yeah. Hi to Donald, because I
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: haven't really said hi, sweetheart, how are hi? How are you?
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: It's good to see you and to see you too,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: right on before we're all off and everything. I gotta
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: get my wife up here because she's gonna want to
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: say hi too. She found out you were on the show,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: she was like, don't let me, don't forget to come.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Tell my mom. We're gonna get to her book, But
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: tell my mom what you said. The second you got
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: on Your book made me cry, like weep, like cry.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I had a really strong emotional response to it. No,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: that's an interesting, Donald, because that's why I couldn't get
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: it published by traditional publishers. They said that parents wouldn't
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: buy it because it was too sad. Oh. I didn't
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: think it was too sad. I just I never really
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: looked at it from the kid's point of view. I always,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: you know, being a divorced parent, you always look at
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: it from your point of view and how you know,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: how you feel. And it just broke my heart that
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: the kid was hurting for a little bit, but she
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: had such amazing parents that they were willing to work
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: it out. And it wasn't like that when my parents
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: got divorced, you know what I mean. And it wasn't
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: like that when I got divorced, and it was so
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: it was so refreshing to see a family that was
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: able to do it. And so it wasn't like some
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: of it was sad, but some of it was like joy,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Like wow, like you know, if they could get this together,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you know, maybe I could have gotten it together. Well,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I wanted I wanted the parents to be kind of
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: a model for parents reading the book. Yeah, so they
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: could say, well, what could we try any of this?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Could we try something? You know, yeah, if it really
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: is you know, there's a lot of research on this,
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: and it really is better for the kids if the
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: parents can remain respectful to each other and generous to
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: each other. Well, let's let's just dive right into this
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: because it's just happening naturally. Um, we want to talk
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: to my mom because she's my mom and when I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: and we love her obviously Donald and Donald's like a
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: part of the family. And um, but and talk about
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: my mom's experience of what Scrubs was like from her
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: point of view, and maybe some funny childhood stories. But
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: the first thing we want the things we wanted to
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: have her on was my mom is a wonderful psychologist
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: who's occasionally I give out words of her wisdom to
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: all of you listeners. And when I was a child,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: she wrote a popular children's book about adoption for children
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: called The Mulberry Bird. Um and UM, if you have
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: an adopted child, I can obviously highly recommend that book.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: It has been it's very very popular for adopted families.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: But recently, my mom, as she will discuss and tell us, UM,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: noticed that there she was having trouble finding the right
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: book to discuss divorce with your child roughly ages six
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: to ten, and decided that she would set about to
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: write one herself. So what is it, Mom, that you
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: that you thought wasn't out there for parents? You know,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: I don't remember when when you and Dad got divorced,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: really any children's books that were I mean, obviously you
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: were skilled as a psychologist to handle it as best
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: as you could. But tell me, tell everyone in us
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: what came to your mind when you said, I want
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: to create something that will help parents talk to their children. Well,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: it's a similar story as as existed for the mulberry bird,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: and that is a story that tells the child what
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: happened with the birth mother. And there were no books
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: for children about adoption at that time, and there's still
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: very few where the birth mother's story is told, and
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: that's the story the child really wants to hear. So
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: when I thought about the Falling Downtime, I thought, well,
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: the children's books that exist for divorced divorcing parents to
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: read now are based on the parents wish for the
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: child to be okay. The parents profound wish that they
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: aren't hurting their child, and so they're all pretty cheerful,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: like it's going to be okay, you're going to have
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: more toys, you're going to have another bedroom, you're going
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: to go to do this and that, and it's all
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: very um. You might be sad, but it's all gonna
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: be fine. Yeah, So I thought I wanted to write
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: a book from the child's perspective, which would first of all,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: show what the child remembers everything being all right, and
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: for for a child, that's what they remember, and suddenly,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: for some reason, things are not all right and they
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: don't know why. Yeah, it was it. That was also
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: what I think triggered my emotional response. Everything was so
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: vivid and the memories were so vivid in the beginning,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: you know, remember, yes, so specific and like it was
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: like fresh and in the child's head. And then all
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: of a sudden there was the shift, and the kid
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: didn't know what it was, but just everything wasn't the same.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And yeah, and I imagine they very often and internalize
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: that and make it that they did something wrong. That's
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: a very common response for children to have, is that
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: this strange thing is happening and their parents. I think
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: one of the reasons they blind they think they've done
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: something wrong is their parents become quieter and sadder and
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: more distant, and these observations sort of resemble when their
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: mom or dad has been mad at them in the past,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: So they think, oh, I've done something. Surely this couldn't
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: have happened just out of the blue, I must have
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: done something. Children are very ectocentric. They think that the
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: world revolves around them. I never thought of it in
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: the context before of like, oh, when they're behaving the
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: same way to behave when they're mad at me because
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: they've gotten quiet, they're and they're not as I don't know,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: silly and effusive or whatever the exactly exactly. So that
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: is why I wrote the book. And the book is
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: called The Falling Down Time, One Child Story about divorce,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and it is available on Amazon, and it was written
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: by my mom, and it is the talk a little
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: bit to mom about people say, well, you know, I'm
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: hearing Donald say he cried. I'm hearing you guys say
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: you were emotional. What do you say to the parent
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: who say, well, I don't I don't want to face
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: my child's sadness about this. I want the you know,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I imagine parents are nervous about doing the honest, sort
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: of emotional children's book as opposed to the chipper one
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: you know about You'll have two sets of toys. Yeah, well,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: that's a really good question, because that is a challenge
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: for parents. It's a really big challenge for people who
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: are divorcing to be able to say, what can I
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: possibly do that would be good for my child? And
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: what you can do. One of the things you can
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: do is let them feel what they're feeling. Don't hold it,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: don't don't don't don't don't push those feelings away, right,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: And it is going to as a parent, you are
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: going to feel terrible about this at times, but something
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: terrible is happening in your life and in their life,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: and to pretend that that's different is really a kind
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: of abandonment. Really, it's kind of walking away from the
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: child into into what you need, and actually isn't about
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: what you need right now, it's what your child needs. Yeah,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: it's like the parent doesn't want to deal with the
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: emotion because that's really hard. So but you're saying that
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: that's you can't. You can't abandon the child's emotions. You
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: have to face it straight on. Yeah you can. You
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: can abandon them, but it isn't good for them, right right. Yeah,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: it's very it's you know, it's very interesting. My kids
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: and I we had a really rough time after my
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: ex wife and I got divorced, and we're all good now,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: but I can I remember thinking, oh, there's probably never
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: going to see each other again, or we're probably never
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: going to talk again. I remember we talked about that
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: at some time at some point, and now, I mean,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: now my kids live with me, and you know, it's
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: it's it's amazing how things shifted. But I do at
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: the end of the book, when you know, when when
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: the child gives encouragement to other kids. You know, from
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: what I understand, a lot of kids go through this
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: and they all turned out pretty well. That was also
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: one of those moments like, yes, you're absolutely right, and
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I got emotional about that because my kids are with
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: me now, and I remember there was a moment when
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: that wasn't a possibility and I didn't see and I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: couldn't see that light at the end of the tunnel,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: and now, you know. I think one of the things
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: that's so special about your book to Mom is, like
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: like Donald said, it like an episode of The Simpsons
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: in a comedic way, is funny to kids on a
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: kid level, and adults are getting stuff that's going over
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: their head. I feel like the Falling Downtime is is
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: good for for both parents and kids. The kids are
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: going to get their version of the story and the
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: parents like Donald's is saying, as a parent of divorced
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: children is going to get their emotional but sort of
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: a guide book in a small sense of how how
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: you could behave in a healthy way for the for
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: the child, but told from a children child's point of view,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: which I thought was really really well done. Thank you,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: thank you. That's my whole. Yeah, you're such a good
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: writer too. And I know you're saying, listener that I'm biased,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: but she is such a good writer. My mom, how
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: about this, get the book? How about this, go out,
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: get the book and then being a judge for yourself.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: All right, how about that? Get the book. It's on Amazon.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: But my mom's the kind of person that will write
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: you like a thank you note and you've got like
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: tears in your eyes because it's so beautiful. You're such
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: a good writer. Um, let's segue a bit, mom and
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: talk about um what what Let's talk about Zachly. Yeah,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: let's switch to me. Enough about the book to me now.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: But I thought I thought that, you know, for listeners
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: who who are here because they love the show Scrubs,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: it might be interesting from from your perspective, you know,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: what was it? What was it like? Do you remember
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: the day I called you and said, you know, I've
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: been trying to be an actor since I was a child.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And we can talk about that too, But do you
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: remember the day and what your feelings were? I had
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: six callbacks for scrubs. Do you remember that whole process?
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I do. I do remember, and it was very, very exciting. Um.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: And the interesting thing is, I look back on it,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: it was hard for me to put it into a
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: context because to me, you would be successful at that
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: point for a long time. And I didn't really until
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: you helped me understand it realize what a big deal
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: it was. Hey, why did you think I'd been successful
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: for a long time when i'd been when I was
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: a waiter when I got the part. I mean not
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: to dis waiters, but I was. I was. I was
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: barely surviving on money. But this success for me was
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: not about money. It was about your abilities and your talent.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: And and you had been getting callbacks since you were
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: fourteen years old, a lot of callbacks. You've been auditioning
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: from that age, and people were calling us in to
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: talk to us and tell us maybe you weren't going
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: to get the part, but you were fantastic and so
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: we were hearing as parents that you were very, very talented,
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and I really only I honestly thought it was only
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: a matter of time. Oh really, you never told me
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: that i'd like to hear that. Yeah, I didn't know.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: I didn't know. I mean, it's so stressful for parents.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure if you're a parent listening and your
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: child is pursuing the arts, you know you want to
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: support them and you want to love them, and of
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: course you want them to follow their dreams, but there
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: has to be nerves like, oh, I hope that they
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: can make a living at this, of course. Okay, but
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: how do you handle it if your kid doesn't have
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: it and you're getting the feedback of well this might
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: not be yeah, but you But that's up to the child,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I mean the child, the young adults or the adult
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: to decide when to give up. You get the parent,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, I we're talking. I'm telling the psychologist what
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: to think, but it seems to me the parent can't
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: decide that. You have to let the kid or the
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: young adult figure that out. But there has to be
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: some honesty in there too that don't you have to
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: be like, okay, well I'm not trying to crush your dreams.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: They said, I'm a butt, but they said you don't
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: got what it takes, baby, and that you should probably
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: think about going into sanitation. Like what if it doesn't. Well,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: I always, I always thought it. I've said this on
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: the show. I always. My plan was always I'm gonna
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: give it my all, but if not, I will do
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: something in production. And I say this to people again,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I'll say it now. If you're pursuing the arts and
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: you know your backup doesn't have to be being an orthodonist,
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: which is always what I pick as the my random career.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: It could be something and you can still work in
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: filmmaking and TV making. You might not be the star
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: in front of the camera, but you'll you can be
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: in the process. I'm sorry, mom, you go, you go?
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: What how do you How does a parent deal with this? Well,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: there's a couple of things on table here. One is
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: question about how do you help a child when you really,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: you know, you look at each other and say this,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: this isn't happening. You know. I think conversations about that
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: that aren't really like, well, why don't you go into
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: something else? But let's talk about a whole lot of
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: things you could do with what you know how to do.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Let's make a list. And that segues into what Zach
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: is saying is that if your child is wanting to
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: be a dancer but isn't good enough, danswer to be
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: um making a living at it, Well, the's a lot
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: of things that's around dancing and performing and those kinds
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: of things could be doing an usher. No, Mom, I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: think I have this in my mind because you always
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: probably help me, help me figure this out, which is like,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: you know, there's a there's a myriad of things you
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: can do that aren't the exact thing aimed for that goal.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: But then but then have things lower on the on
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: the pyramid that are things you you will be skilled
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: at at that point that you can also do. I
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: don't think that you I don't think that I helped
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: you figured that out. I'm going to tell a story
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: now from a long time ago that you've heard before
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: and Donald probably has, and this illustrates that you knew
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: from a very early age that there were other things.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: When you were seven years old, for your birthday, you
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: asked us if we would buy you were curtains to
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: hang in the TV room, center of the TV room.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well the curtain guy. The curtain guy
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: must have been like, wait, what in the middle of
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: the room. You really want the curtains? Do you remember?
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: It was he like, you want to put a curtain
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: in the middle of I don't remember that. But you
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: also said that was not the only gift you wanted
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: clip on lights from the hardware store. You wanted a
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: light board, lighting board. Did they have a home lighting
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: board for kids? So sweet you made? I did, by
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: the way, Donald, listen, I made one. What I did
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: was she got me the clip on lights, and I
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: took I took multiple um time you know those things
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: that are meant to go in the tim Yeah. No, no,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: the thing you put if you're in the old days
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: when you were going away and you wanted your lights
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: to go on and off timer, so I would rig
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: the clip on lights with gails on them to those
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: timer lights and I could flick the switch on the timers.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: That's true, Sorry, mom, go ahead, No, it really was
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: true that you knew at that age, you were seven
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: years old, that there was something exciting about the theater
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: and about performing, and then you engaged your siblings in
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: making dramas, and you called it the Braffrodzinski Theater. And
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: you actually sold tickets when we had dinner party. You
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: could I you were out on the front court tickets. Yes,
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: trying to make that money. I got that hustle early, Donald.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: My mom's just trying to have a dinner party. I'm
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: out front charging tickets to a play that the guests
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: don't want to go to. Can you imagine? Can you
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: imagine you go to your friend's house for dinner and
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: then Ken, You're like, Oh, it's cute, he's selling tickets
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: to the show. And then dinner's over. You're like, wait,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: what we really have to go to go to the show? Well,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: you you were selling tickets to the guests for for dinner.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Were you just selling tickets to rent people walking down
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: the street? Oh? No, guests for dinner. But little did
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: they know that they had come to dinner. After dinner,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: there would be a play. And they weren't always short plays,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: right mom. Sometimes they had gravitas and in depth. They
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: were a little bit convoluted at chimes. Yes, and you're
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: two younger sisters. Your older sister and your younger sister
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: were a cast of characters. Yeah, so you didn't have
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: too much to work with. Oh my god, I remember this, mom,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and I gotta tell you just another kudos to you
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: for being a great mom that when I said, can
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I have a curtain in the middle of the TV room?
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: You said yes? And we did so many plays we had.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: By the way, if you have a child and you
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: don't have to put it in the middle of the room,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: or if they have a playroom, you could put it
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: like one third of the way through the room. But
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, this curtain that was, you know,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: probably not super expensive. We got so much joy from
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: just the idea of we're putting on a show and
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: we can pull the curtain and do a show. And
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: then the big feature of it was it had to
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: be a curtain. Yeah what it was. We got so
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: many hours of joy out of that damn curtain. Yeah yeah, yeah,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I think you know. I was also into the tech,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: you know, as you know, I was into the technical theater.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: So these these these shows would sometimes have elaborate set
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: changes that the audience would have to wait while me
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: and my little sister were changing the set behind the curtain. Okay,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: so let me ask you a question. You knew you
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: wanted to be in theater, You knew you wanted to
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: be a performer of some sort. When did you realize
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: you wanted to tell stories too? Though? When was that?
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: When did that become part of the It's a good question.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I have an early memory of standing in front of
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I think it was fifth grade. We had been given
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: an assignment that we were going to read a story.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I may have told this before in the podcast. We
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: were told to read a story, and then we were
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: going to read. Those who swanted to could read it
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: in front of the classroom. And I wrote my story
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: and I included the characters in my story were kids
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: in the class, so I made them the proton certain
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: kids in the class that were you know, popular or
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: everybody liked. I kind of made them the protagonists. And
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: then when I it was funny, and when I read
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: the story, the whole class, including the teacher, were belly laughing,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: And I remember like looking up being like this feeling
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: of I wrote this at my death and all of
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: these kids, including that teacher, are cracking up. Is like
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: was like a Eureka moment for me, like, oh, I
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: want to keep doing this like this, not only performing it.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: But the fact that these are my thoughts that I said,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Naima Johnson did something, you know, funny on this adventure
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: that I'd made up. Whatever it was, it was a
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: great It was a great feeling. And I think that
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: that that it's sort of just kind of dovetailed into
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: all the things I was doing, the community, theater, the
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: camp and stuff like that. Did you get a lot
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of calls from school about how creative your son was?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: And um, when he was in school, Um, he didn't
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: do a lot of theater. He did theater camp in
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: the summer. But one story I do remember is when
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: he was in high school, he was very active in
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: the television and radio station they had at the high school.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: A what was it? What did you call it? Um? Well,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: in college it was called RTVF. I forgot what the
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: what the high version which is where you roll in
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: the TV the av squad. I told everyone to Mom
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: about how I was when I was younger. I was
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I thought I was so cool because I was on
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: the I was on the team that would roll the
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: projectors into the classroom, and I I just I thought
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: I was Fonzie. I just thought there was nobody cooler
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: than me because I was wheeling that projector into the classroom.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: There you are, I mean, yeah, but I go ahead,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: tell them tell the story about its own. The story
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: is that there was a news program that um was
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: on a local station, you know, that they had in
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: the community, and so they did a real news program
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I think every week, Sack, I don't know, something like that. Yeah, anyway,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I remember it was Channel thirty five. Yes, and you
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: were I guess for a series of them or a
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: couple of them. You were the director. Yeah, and uh
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you won Director of the Year at in high school
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: that year, my first award for directing. Yes, and this
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: is one of the moments I remember being very proud
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of you. And it's happened since then, but this was
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: one of the first. The man who ran the program
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: came over to me afterwards and said, you have no
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: idea how wonderfully he is with all the people who
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: are doing this program. He's talking to them through the
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: microphone and telling them they're doing a great job. He's
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: telling them that was wonderful. I love that when they
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: make a mistake, he's telling them, don't worry. He's whispering
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: to them. And he said, I never saw anything like that,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: So it made me very proud of you as a person.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: You brought tears to my eyes, Mom, because I love
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: that you told that story. But also I was a
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: very happy time. You know, I did feel quite alienated
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: in high school, as you know. I had friends and everything,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: but I just couldn't I wasn't into sports, and I
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: couldn't find my thing. And in that TV group, I
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: found my people, and in directing, I found a thing
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: that really lit me up. And I'm really happy memories
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: from being there. So I just have to say one
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: more thing that every time I visit one of your
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: sets you've been going for a while, you all know
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: each other, the thing is humming, and somebody, at least
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: one person often more come over to me and say,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: your son is running a beautiful set here. We all
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: love each other and we love him, and that's a
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: beautiful thing. And that started with that director in high school. Yeah,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: mister Mullen, Yeah, yeah, shout out, mister Mullen. I bet
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: you never thought, never thought you'd get a shout out,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: mister mullin. But mister Mullen, I don't know if you'll
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: listen to the truthfully I'm not even I'm not even
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: sure if he's still with us. But he was a
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: wonderful teacher. And uh, and it was a great experience.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Um wow, I wonder if any of my teachers listen
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: to our podcast if you do. And you failed me,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: and you thought I wasn't going to amount to anything
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: in your face so much? Yeah, and your face. I
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: remember I had a teacher that my charms didn't work
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: on her, and she she this was at the height
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: of family ties, I think, and and I thought I
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: thought I was I thought I was a little like
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Alex P. Keaton and and but this is so she
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: she came. We were all waiting outside the class, and
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: she showed up late. And I think I was like
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: trying to be like a funny wise ass and I
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: was like pointing to my watch, like and she turned
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: to me and she said, Zach, I'm really not into
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: the whole Alex P. Keaton thing. Oh I never forgot
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: that that had to feel good. It hurt my feelings
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: that I that she didn't think my Alex P. Keaton
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: esque charm was charming. But I but, um, but I
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: the fact that you, the fact that she knew that
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: you were doing Alex P. Keaton without you being like
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I'm doing Alex P. Keaton. No, I mean I'm saying
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I try to be. That was silver lining right there.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: The silver line is freaking. I'm a genius actor because
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I impressionist, because I was playing a character and you
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: picked up one it. Yes, you got what I was
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: going with. Um, Um, wait what I was thinking about something?
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about right before that? Um? We
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: were talking about you? But yeah, I banked on Um,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: so mom, what was it like? No, but go go
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: back to obviously, well, I wanted to talk about Scrubs. Um,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: you do you remember when I called you? You were
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I think you were the first call I made when
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I because when I after my sixth audition for Scrubs,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I had a Motorola star Tech if you recall those,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: and I put it on the I had been told
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: that I will know sooner, I know, probably today or tomorrow,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: and I put the Motorola star Tech I remember on
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: the passenger seat of my Nissan two forty SX, and
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: I just started driving on the one on one Freeway
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: and my phone rang and it was I believe it
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: was Bill Lawrence who said, I'm I'm not supposed to
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: tell you because every other people want to tell you.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: But you got it, and I'm so excited, and I
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: was freaking out, and I said, you know, I knew
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: that you would be my first call. So do you
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: do you remember that moment at all? You I do
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: remember the call exactly, and I remember I didn't know
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: about all the callbacks. I didn't know the process at all,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: because I think you were kind of holding back because
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: it was very big, and I don't think you wanted
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: to get us all excited, you know, yeah, and then
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: be disappointed. Um, And there's nothing like that phone call
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: when you got to tell your mom. I didn't get
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: the part, so I'm sure you know. I know, I
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: think I had turned, but with both of my parents,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I think I'd got into a place. You know. I
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: was waiting tables. I was in a lull, you know,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: being an actor, there's highs and lows at all stages.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: And at this stage, I had gotten some indies and
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I had gotten some stuff, but I was kind of
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: at a lull. I was working as a waiter, and
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: I didn't want them to get excited before there was
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: any you know, so I would I would even if
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: even when I was six auditions in, I was probably
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: minimizing it because I didn't want to to point them
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: you know, yes, yes, but it was very very exciting.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: And then what I think happened was that it grew
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: on me. You know, I began to realize over a
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: period of days and even weeks, what this was going
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: to be the first season. You know, we didn't know,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: of course, that it would be many seasons. And then
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: the you know, it started to do very well. You know,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: the ratings were extremely good, and it was exciting, very
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: very exciting. And I remember bringing Sarah home. We were
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: going to the upfronts, which we've talked about here a
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: bunch of times, and Sarah came over to the house,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: and you everyone instantly fell in love with Sarah as
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: you do in real life. And I remember at one point,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: you know, I had had girlfriends that weren't exactly helping
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: around the house that much as as a mom would
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: would like. And I remember Sarah was over just as
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: a friend. But there she was at the kitchen sink
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: doing dishes from dinner, and she called out, she was like,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: did anyone let the dog out? And my mom was like,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: I love her. I remember that. I remember Sarry doing
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: the dishes and calling over the water, did anyone let
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: the dog out? And my mom turning and be like,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: I love her, Oh my god, you can marry her
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: right now. I know. Well she is. She is quite
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: a catch, and and we we miss her. She's coming
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: on the show a bunch, but we don't see it
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: that much because she's in Canada. Well tell me about
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: do you remember visiting set for the first time? What
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: that was like? Yes, because it was like nothing I
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: had ever done before in my life. You know, I'd
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: never seen a set of that size and complexity. And
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: wait pause, look who it is? She is, my sweetheart?
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Are you I'm good? How are you? I'm good. I'm good.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: It's wonderful to see your face. Well, thank you. I
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: just took my anti aging face led man. Oh that's
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: why you look fourteen. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: It works in the closet and phones on. Yeah, Mom,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you know that. I know you
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: listen to the show sometimes, but this is this is
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Donald's a home studio in their walking closet. I definitely
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: know about the closet. This beautiful. Yeah, we always get
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: to see when when when you've picked up the dry cleaning. Yeah,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I was actually thinking about it this morning. I was like,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I need to redo the closet for this live show
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: now that we have now that we have HD cameras, Wen,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: everything is more, everything's gonna be clearer. Oh god, that's
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: so scary. We gotta figure something out this week. And
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: congratulations so cute. I love looking at the online. They're
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: just adorable. Oh they're ready to come visit you whenever
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: you want. Oh that would be so good. Now this
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: terrible time that we are all in and we can know.
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: I know we miss you so much. We haven't seen
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: you in so long. Last time we saw you was
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: like zach birth, like a little bit after was It's
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: it will it will have been over a year probably.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: My birthday is April sixth, coming up, those of you
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: who want to shower me with presents, No, we know,
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: we know everybody in your calendar a case on my
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: calendar every year. All right, we gotta go because we
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: will call you. Okay, I love you. Tell my mom
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: that she's wonderful. I tell her all the time. I
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: tell her on Instagram all the time. We liked each
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: other from the first moment. Yes, always, because Casey's the
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: kind of woman who'll say did anyone let the dog out?
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: And now Casey won't say did anyone let the dog out?
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: She was not she's not. I don't even know what
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: that means. It wasn't there. Um, So we have a caller. Guys,
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: we should go to break first. Let's go to go
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: to break, and then we're gonna take a caller that
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: Joelle found to ask my mom a question about talking
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: to your children when you're going through a very shitty
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: thing called the divorce. We'll be right back after these
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: messages and any bay back by. All right, we're back.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: We're back. We're back back, and Joelle bringing the caller
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: to answer the caller's question. Say hello to Chrissie Martel.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Give it up for Christy Martei. Where is your thunderous applause? Chrissy,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: we're giving you thunderous applause. So excited. I this is
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: like a dream come true. Oh you're very sweet. We're
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: so happy that you're here and uh and that you're
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: willing to come on and uh, so you've got you
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: see Joelle and Daniel. Um, I don't know where the
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: boxes are for you. That's Donald who you recognize. And
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: that beautiful woman with the scarf is my mom. And hello,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: it's so I'm just honored to meet you. It's so exciting.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: That's amazing. Well, we're glad. How you. Where are you
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: calling from, Chrissy, Aurora, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Chicago in the house. Okay, I know why Joel got
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: you on the line. Chicago natives stick together. You Illinois
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: girls stick together. Yes, Illinois. If you if you're from
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: Illinois and you write in, you're way more likely to
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: get picked if you brag about loving Illinois in the subject.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: Just brag about that, or brag about Northwestern one or
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: the other. Well, I don't read them, Joeleda, so you
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: have to. Maybe you could say that you love rebels,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: you love Ganja, you love all things that Joel might enjoy. Ps. Five.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: Ganja's legal here now, so you know. Oh hello, welcome
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: to the club, New Jersey too. By the way, um,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: all right, listen, Chrissy. We had you on because we
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: have the gift of having a brilliant child psychologist here
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: who's written a new book called The Fall Calling Down Time,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: which is aimed to help children roughly six to ten
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: mom deal with helping helping parents talk to their children.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: And we had you on because I understand that you're
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: going through a divorce and have children of this age,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: and we thought maybe you could ask my mom a
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: question that would help facilitate more conversation for people that
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: are in a similar place. So, so go ahead with
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: your question. I would love to um, is it doctor Bradzynski? Yes,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: say and but please call me well and it's it's
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: a pleasure. So yes, I am going through divorce. I
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: am also a divorce attorney. So I was telling Joel,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going the DIY route representing myself. But you know,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: it's it is what it is. And this has been
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: a tough year for a lot of parents, and a
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: lot of parents of kids with special needs, which I
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: happened to be. I have two children, ages four and
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: a half and three. He's actually Oscar. He's going to
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: be turning three on Tuesday. So they are a handful.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: They're awesome boys. They are autistic, and you know, it's
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: just tough sometimes and so parenting can be difficult. But
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: really what I care most about is them, and I
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: think that's what I always tell my clients, the most
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: important thing is the best interests of the children, making
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: sure they're okay. And so my question is, you know,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: when I am with my boys and they're a little
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: bit younger than your target audience, but as they grow,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: you know, these things will probably be important too. They're
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: too young for this book, yeah, okay, Well when they
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: get old enough for it, and just as they get
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: old enough to maybe understand a little bit better about
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: mom and dad not living in the same house anymore,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: you know, there will be a lot of questions. But
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: the one thing that I really care about the most
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: is just how they're feeling. And sometimes they'll be sad
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: and I can't exactly understand why, And so I'm wondering
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: should I ask them specifically, are you sad because Dad's
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: not here? Or should I ask them why are you sad?
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: You know, because I don't want to bring it up
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: if it's not on their mind, But I also don't
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: want to glaze over it if it is something that
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: I should you address at any given time? Right, So,
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: of course I don't know your children, and so I'm
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I'm answering in a kind of a global way, but
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: you'll take from it whatever works for you and your kids.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: In general, it's safe to say knowing why a child
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: is sad is less important than being a person who
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: notices that they're sad. So, really, for your three year old,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: most three year rolls don't really know why they're sad
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: unless something just happened, like someone took their toy or
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: they dropped some food or whatever it is. They know
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: about that sad. The larger issues which are in your
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: case sadness certainly about the divorce and some grief probably
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: as well. Three year olds feel, but they don't know
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: how to tell you. They don't have the language to
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: tell you. So the best thing to do if you
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: sense that three year old is sad is to kind
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: of maybe curl up in a nice cozy place and
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: get the stuffed animal that's the favorite, and read a
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: favorite book, maybe some food, some good food, and do
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: a little snuggling and just kind of be together and
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: make a plan for later rather than try to find out.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: What you're doing is really acting as though you know,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and that is the most important thing in For your
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: four year old, it's a little different four and a
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: half year old, it's a little different. And again you'll
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: judge this from your kids and whatever parts of autism
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: are affecting them. But for four and a half year
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: old you can be a little more explicit. But rather
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: than say what are you sad about? One of the things,
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I like to do a lot of drawings with kids
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: this age. They love to draw. So you can do
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: what I call a temperature tower. It's just a simple line,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: a vertical line with one at the bottom and a
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: hundred at the top, and you draw one for you,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: and you draw one for your child with their name
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: at the top, and the temperature chart is how am
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: I feeling right now? And you do yours first, and
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: you say, well, I'm about a seven. I'm okay, but
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: you know I might be a five. I don't know, sorry, mom.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: If you do, you mean one to one to ten
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: or one to one hundred. Sorry I should have said
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: one to ten doesn't matter. Yeah, But you so you're saying,
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: if let's just let's stick with one to ten because
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: that's where you started. So you're saying one to ten.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: So you say I'm a five or I'm a seven whatever,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: rather than even if you're a one, I wouldn't go
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: there I would just sort of stay in the middle,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: but it gives the child that's listening to you an
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: option to not be a ten. Now the child may
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: say I'm a ten, and that's interesting. But if you've
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: come through a little period of sadness and you sense something,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: you could say, okay, you're at ten. Wow, that's amazing.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm at ten, but I'm not always at ten.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: So it's a kind of a way that you're communicating
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: together that you know that it isn't always okay, and
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: you may get a conversation out of that from your
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: four and a half year old, a little bit of conversation.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: You can also say, well, when I do such and such,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like a ten. And when I do this,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I tend to feel down a little bit lower. Do
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: you have any things that make you higher or lower?
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: Another thing is what I call it frown box. So
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: you don't say it's a sad box, but a frown
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: box is any little box that you find and some
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: objects they could be stones that aren't swallowable or whatever,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: and you take turns putting things in the box and
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: you call them frowns, and you say what you're frowning about?
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: So you participate in this as well, so that part
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: of it is that the child feels that I'm a
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: human being. I'm like my mom and I'm you know,
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: if your husband, your exitent husband could do this too,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: it would be wonderful for them to share this with him,
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: both the temperature towers and the frown box. So you
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: get to see you're a child, but you get to
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: see I'm not. There's nothing wrong with me that I
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: have these feelings. I have these feelings with so to
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: my mom and dad. Yeah. One of the most powerful
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: things that I've shared with the listeners here, Mom, that
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: you always said to me is um you know and
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: I and I you said it to me as a child,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: and I think of it now when I'm forty about
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: to turn forty six, which is you said I would
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: share with you something that was upsetting me, and you go, well,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: of course that makes total sense. If you didn't feel
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: that way, there'd be something wrong with you that when
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: you're going through this X Y Z experience, If you
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: didn't feel abc, there'd be something the matter with you.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: That was all you have. I found that you said.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Since you said that, Zach, we've started doing that. Yeah. Well,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: that's all my mom. That's her, that's that's her specialty.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Another thing I wanted to say, Mom, that you gave
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: me that really helped me as a child. Um, there
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: were these worried dolls. I don't know if they were.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: They a Mexican and they still sell them. Yeah, I'm
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: sure you might find them on Amazon, just on the
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: internet somewhere. I believe they're called Mexican worried dolls. And
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: their their their their minuscule, they're they're about a centimeter
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: high and then go in a little container. And what
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: you do, is my mom, as my mom taught me,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: is for a worrying child. And I was a kid
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: who worried a lot. As you teach each you tell
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: each figure one of your worries, and you put them
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: in the little canister next to your bed, and while
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: you're sleeping, they work on your worries. So it's like
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: the child can have their anxiety relieved because like, don't worry.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: These dolls are specifically meant to work. That's all they
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: do as they work on worries. And I remember being
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: a kid be like this is a big worry, So
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I would like talk to them. I'm like look, I'm
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: gonna need six of you guys on this worry. I
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: would I would totally like give them tasks and I'd
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: be like, look, I need everybody, but you you're gonna
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: you have a little small worry, but you guys are
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: all on this main worry. And I really believed it,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: and um and took comfort in knowing that while I
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: was sleeping, they'd be attacking the worry. It was awesome.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: They don't they don't take it away, but they work
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, they work for you, and I love
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: it for two reasons. In my household, Um, my boys
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: are I'm white and my husband's met skin, so they
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: would it would be great for them. I'm always trying
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: to incorporate, you know, their culture, and that would be cool.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: But also, sleeping is tough just for us in general.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: Kids with autism are always up in the middle of
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: the night and we're still working on that. But if
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: that could be something that could help them stay in
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: their own bed and stay you know, not have to
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: because I'm a sandwich right now, I'll have both boys
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: on either side of me and they just roll right
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: into me. So I'm like trying to teach them to
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: sleep in their own beds and stuff. And that's a
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: great idea. I'm gonna look those up. Yeah, I got
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: a lot. It was. It was I was so lucky
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: to have a child psychologist mom, because she and people
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: always joke with me over the years like, oh, because
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: my stepfather was a psychologist and my stepmother's a therapist,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: and people are like, oh, were they always all analyzing you?
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: And the truth is I didn't. I didn't feel that
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: at all. I felt like I was really well listened to.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: They understood the importance of listening to the child and
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: hearing what they have to say. And I always felt heard.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: And and so you want to men, we're never like
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: in a room with a big mirror. Ever, what do
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: you mean, like you you never ever we're in like
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: a room you mean like a two way mirror where
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: they were Thank goodness now no, but a right though,
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: when you say stuff like that, that's the first thing
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: you go to. It's like, wow, you had a lot
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: of you had a lot of therapy and your yes. Yes.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: So my father in his later years, my father, in
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: his later years taught a marriage counseling course with my stepmother.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: So then he got on the therapy therapy trained too.
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: It was getting in from all sides. It's important. I mean,
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: you can tell when you listen to this podcast that
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: Zach especially you have had a lot of words of
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: wisdom in your life because you have such empathy with
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: everyone that you talked to. And I just think that
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: that's one of the best parts about listening. I mean,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I love the show, I love everything about it, but
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: I will say, Anne, you raised a nice young man
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: who is very pathetic to people and and kind, and
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: I just think that it's so cool to listen and
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: see that your two favorite actors are really good people
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: and they're just fun talking to one another, and it's
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: just so much fun listened. You're very sweet, Chrissy. I
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: heard everything you just said. You said Zach is empathetic,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm not I heard you know. No, no, no,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sure when when Chrissy's back on for your mom's show,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: she'll say the same thing about it. I am good
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: with moms, so you know, no, I'm just kidding. I am.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: That means a lot to me, Chrissy. And yes, not
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: only did I have empathetic therapists in my life, but
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: I also was in therapy. We you know, there was
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: no stigma in my family about going to therapy or
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: seeking out new age things, whether it be books or courses.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: It was a very the environment was very open to
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: working on yourself. You know. I know plenty of people listening,
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I'm sure their families were the opposite. There was something
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: wrong with you if you were going with therapists, or
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: there was something wrong with you if you're reading a
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: self help book or or had interest in a workshop.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: So I'm very blessed that I had a family that
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: was like, do it all, read everything, you know, take
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: that wacky workshop where you're walking on goals or whatever
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: it is. That's it. It's very interesting our parents kind
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: of had the same type of not the same upbringing,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: but had a lot of the same interests. And so
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: because of that, Zach and I have a very similar
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: upbringing where we took workshops and you know what I mean,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: and therapy was wasn't looked at as something bad. You know, Um,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's it's really interesting. It's really that. I
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: find that the most interesting about our friendship. It's like
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: we were destined to meet, if you ask me, because
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of the things that we went through as
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: kids are just too similar. You know, It's just we
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: have we learned that we both would sneak into the light.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: I told Donald mom on on the last show that
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: I would sneak other kids were sneaking behind the school
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: to smoke cigarettes. I would sneak into the school auditorium
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: to play with the ancient lighting board. And Donald was like,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: I did too, but he did it because he was
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: in the A V. Club. Man. I did it because
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I thought it was like, you know, I was freaking
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: uh flying turn and turning everything into light speed? Right? Great? Um, well,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: I hope that that was helpful, Chrissy, um um. I
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: wouldn't say fix your life, well, but I'm scared. No,
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: we don't want to. We we don't. We're gonna this
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: isn't fix your life segment, but definitely, um, get a copy.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Do you want to fix your life? I actually had
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: a just a quick question about it, But I am
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: interested in the book too. Yeah, so get the book
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: The Falling Down Time. Your kids are obviously a little
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: young for it, but my clients kids will. But yeah,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: you're a diversity divorsity, but this should be on your
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: coffee table in your office, for your for your for
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: your clients falling down to tell them where I found it,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: and they'll just be like, what you are on that podcast?
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: You know what? You can put a post it note
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: on this on the coffee table in your in your
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: waiting room. That says Zach Braff's mom wrote this awesome book,
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: I love The Falling Down Time, which is on Amazon.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: fine words. Okay, Donald is giving you a fix your
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: life opportunity. I wasn't going to do it, but he's
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: the co host. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Illinois's
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: favorite segment. It's time to fix You're all right? Go ahead, Chrissy. Okay,
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: well it's pretty simple. I am single, so I'm I'm
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: just kind of ready to start dating. I know it
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: sounds like you know people. Everyone does it at their
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: own pace, whenever the time is right. Right for me,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling time is right I am. And I apologize
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: to my ex if he's listening to this. Sorry, but
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: he can date two go for whatever. I have two
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: awesome kids and they are young, and well obviously we're
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: a package deal. But I want to get to know
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: someone for who they are. I want them to get
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: to know me for who I am. You know, when
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: is the right time to tell people about it? What
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: do I? How do I approach this subject? I mean,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: I think Donald you would know, um, what it's like
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: dating when you already have children and obviously finding someone
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: that you want to be a companion with and then
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: and then I am still open to having children some
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: day m thirty two, so I have time and I
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: would love to start a life with someone in that way.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: But also right now, I'm just looking to date two
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: right that. That's normal and you should there's nothing wrong
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: with that. Have you started? The obvious question that comes
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: to mind is the apps? Have you tried? And you
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: don't have to go on the Tinder of course, but
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: like one of the more ones for relationships like match
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: and such? Have you have you done any of that? Yeah?
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: Funny enough, I met my husband on e harmony, so
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: that one's out. Yeah, it doesn't stuck, So I, um,
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, I looked at some of the apps
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I got on. I'm then I got off of that.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: I got on to bed and I'm like, I've talked
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: to people. I will come on a couple dates. I
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: just don't want to like rope somebody in and then
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: be like, by the way, I have two kids. Well,
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I think in your match profile, you in your match
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: if I was advising you as your dating advisor, I
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: would not I would have your beautiful children in somewhere
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: in your match profile, pictures of you happy with your kids,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: you know, So you're never misleading anyone. I'm I'm a
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: mom of two. I mean, there's think how many people
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: are out there dating with children. The kind of man
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: you're going to be looking for is not someone who's
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: going to be afraid of that, obviously. Yeah. I was
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: gonna say if you're if you if you find somebody
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: and you say I have kids and that's a deal
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: break up for them, that wasn't the person for you anyway, right,
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: So you know it's it's it's I don't think I
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: don't think there is a scenario where you don't ort
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: to where from the gate you should be telling people
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: I'm a single mother. You know. Um, I think the
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: more honest and open you are, you'll attract the type
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: of person you're looking for, you know where. Uh So
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't I wouldn't worry about I wouldn't worry about that.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: You'll also remove the anxiety um right away that oh
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be misleading and found out like no, you're
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: being right up front, like don't don't come knocking if
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: you're not interested in they'll still come knock. And trust me,
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: yeah they still they'll still come knocking. Oh yeah, I've
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: had a couple of Yeah. But you might also, I mean,
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: you know, full disclosure, you might. You might want some
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: fun and and just some fun dating. It might. It might.
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: You might after being in a man orange and going
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: through this divorce which doesn't sound which obviously is unpleasant,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: you know, give yourself license to date and have fun
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: and maybe not necessarily go right for the guy who's
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: maybe going to be your next husband and stepfather to
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: your kids. You might want to have a little fun
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: dating time with people that aren't necessarily father material, but
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: fun fun. At the end of the day, you and
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: if it does get to the point where it does
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: become that serious, you could say, well, you know, I
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: got into I wasn't I was I'm a divorced parent,
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: I wasn't really looking for a relationship. Where we are
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: now is where we are, and so I'm opening up
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: more to you, but to be I was just trying
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: to get out there and meet new people, to be
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: honest with you, and you just so happy it just
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: so happened to get serious with you. So if you
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: want to keep it light, it's all right to keep
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: it light too. It depends on what it is that
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: you want to do. As Zach just said, if you're
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: looking for another relationship, I would be as open as
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: possible when letting you know, letting everyone know who you are,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: if that's what you want, because I always feel if
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: you're withholding anything, then you're gonna always gonna have this
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: anxiety in your head about oh what if? What if
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: he finds out? So don't just let's just get rid
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: of it right off the bat by being open with
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: it in your profile of whatever dating site you're using.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: But if you're going out to have fun, who cares,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: it's none of that business. Yeah, you can have two profiles,
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: my dating for a fun ROMP profile with no kids,
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: and then your relationship profile with kids. Mom, what do
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: you think of me? And Donald's pop psychology? Are we
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: doing a good job? You're terrific. I wouldn't add anything. Oh,
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: there you go. I never in a million years thought
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: I would get dating advice from the Zach Breath. Well,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: we give great advice, and we we're just PhD approved
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: by my mom to give counseling. So there you go, Joel.
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: Joel's out on the dating market. Do you have any
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: tips for um? No? Thatll sounded really good to me.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Just being honest and upfront and you know, have fun.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: Dating should be fun. So Joel's about to go on
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: two dates in front of a lot lot of people
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: the live show. Christie, are you going to join us
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: for the live show? I got my ticket? I'm mom?
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: Are you joining us from the live show? Do you
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: even know about it? Absolutely? All right, Friday, everyone listens.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: A mom doesn't know about the live show? I get
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: your mom on board. Donald, Now, mom, do you do
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: you still listen regularly? Be honest, it's okay if you're
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: not fully up to date, listen intermittently. Okay, Well, I
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: want to tell you something. When Donald and I started
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: this podcast, Chrissy, we made a joke saying a handful
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: of Scrubs fans to listen and maybe our moms. Turns
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: out both of our moms have checked out for the
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: long haul. It's become a global sensation. But our mom's
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: then know you well enough that this is not exciting
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: for them. But for us, it's like we're getting to
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: know you and like know who you are. It's oh
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: my gosh, it's fascinating. And I was just you know,
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: I'm such a diehard that everybody comes on here and
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: they say, oh, I don't like season nine. I liked it. Subs,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question. When's the last time
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: you watch season nine? Well? And how many times? And
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: how many times did you watch season? More importantly, Chrissy,
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: what are your feelings on the soundboard? You are you
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: pro sound no soundboard? You are no soundboard? Christie? No
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: let her answer no? Ye? What are your thoughts on
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: you like it? Yes? A lot of people do. Casey,
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on the soundboard? Oh? Well, that
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: was me. I was talking about the soundboard. You asked
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: for it. You asked for it. Where are you going?
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: You asked? Ohh no, he has to go get mom.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: This is a new thing. He likes to bring Casey
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: on the show multiple times. You know what it is.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: He's so obsessed with his wife that he can't spend
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: an hour away from her, so we have to go
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: get her. I'm looking for I want you, and she's
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: I know both women and both single women are like,
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: that's what I want. Where is he go? He's he literally, mom,
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: he can't do an hour podcast. I'm going to get
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: Casey saying stuff. And so now he's using the soundboard.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: He got his mom and a collar on, and he's
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: saying some really mean things. Well, I don't know, no
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: what No, I assure you he is not Casey. He's
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: just he's being crazy. Yes, he is. We know that
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: he is. What I'm like, what is the soundboard that? No, Casey,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: I recorded this. Listen, okay, Zacha love you, Zacha love you, Zach,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: I love you, and I sometimes play it when I
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: feel I need to hear hear your voice. Dude, do
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: my show as you should, let her hear. Oh, and
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: here's Donald wu tank forever. And here's Donald. Here's the
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: other one. Do or do not? There is no try.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: Oh and here's Donald's favorite sound Casey. Oh god, he
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: come on, Casey, with all due respect, we got to
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: wrap the show up. I'm not I'm not the one
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: I know your husband who it is obsessed with you?
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: Howd you go get you when it's in here? Now?
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: My good ZAA love you? No, no, I love that woman.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: I love that woman for the listeners. I love that one.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: That was not that last one was not the board listeners.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: That was her. Hey, Donald, I gotta tell you while
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: you're getting Casey and I mean, I said to the audience,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: who and my mom would go, God, this guy is
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: so obsessed with his wife he can't be without her
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: for an hour, And both single women went, that's what
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: I want. I feel husband material. I want. I want
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: a relationship that's like Turk and Carla. You know they're
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: just so real another they're so in love. But then
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: I also love how JD and Elliott. He says at
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: the end, Elliott, you're my dream woman love. Yeah. Well,
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: I mean for that to happen, you gotta be either
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Turk or Carla. You know what relationships like that are
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: on television. The real relationships are going to have ups
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: and down. Turkey call and never really had ups and downs? Man,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: there they're ups and down. Was what what are we
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: gonna name? Is he? You know what I mean? Or
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: you know, like television relationships are meant to be just that,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: to uplift you and to want you to experience love
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: like that. But you know what about I mean Bill Lawrence,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: I would say to his credit, I would say, he
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: put in storylines about divorced people, and now he has
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: ted Lasso and and and I think those things are
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: important too, because when you're watching things, you kind of
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: want to see scenarios that play out that you you know,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: what would you do in that situation or who's you know,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: But on TV, it just seems like they always end
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: up you know, it always ends up the right way
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: on television. You know, that's the that's the only thing.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: Like me personally, I wanted to I wanted movie. I
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: wanted to be in relationships like in the movies I
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: saw like sixteen Candles and or The Breakfast Club and
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: or you know, those were ideal to me. And I
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: tried really hard, over and over again to find that.
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you something right now, it's only
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: in the movies, man like. And then if I found
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: something that was close to it, I really didn't want it.
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: You know, all the movies don't always reflect how difficult
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: it is. And how much work a healthy relationship takes.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of work. So what you see me
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: and my wife do is I mean, it's our stick
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: and we we've perfected it. But you know, I want
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: all the listeners out there to know that you get
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: the show. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: are I will say this about you. Of course you're
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: a normal couple that go through your hard times in
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: your arguments, but I will say that you are a
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: very doting, loving husband. You give her a lot of love. Yeah.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Have you seen my wife? Yeah, she's a knockout. Yeah,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, man, all right, appreciate that. I don't appreciate it.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: We'll get Florence on here going, don't I love you? Um?
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, Chrissy, thank you for coming on. We
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: really appreciate it. And good luck with your with with
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: all that's going on in your life. Thank you so much. This,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: like I said, it was a dream come true. And
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: good luck to you. I guess I'll see at the
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: live show. So excited. Listen if you if you can
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: get on the chat or if you want to shout
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: out Joel or something like that, do it. Maybe we'll
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: maybe we'll get you on a live show too. Well,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: we don't know, we don't know. Oh my gosh, Oh
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: all right, Christy, thank you, I love you, Bye guys,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: Bye bye hie. Here's the take care. Um. Well that's
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: our show, guys, um Um, don't forget to pick up
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: the falling downtime. If you're someone who's going through a
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: divorce and need to talk to your children, or if
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: someone in your life is going through that situation, it's
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: available on Amazon. And my mom's other book about adoption
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: if if you're have an adopted child as a beautiful,
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: beutiful book, Um, the addresses the subject of the birth
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: mother to the child, and that's called The Mulbray Bird,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: also available on Amazon. Mom, did you have fun? I
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: had a lot of fun. Thank you for giving me chance.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: It was terrific. Well, I love you very much. I
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: love you too. The live show and I love you
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: Donald um and everyone, so please join us. Our next
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: show is the live show. We'll be watching my quarantine,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: all sorts of fun, all sorts of adventures. You'll be
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: seeing us with our new fancy webcams that that we bought,
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: and um lots of guest appearances and fun and laughter,
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: Right Tank, forever, all right, count us out, Donald six seven,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: eight stories about show we made, about a bunch of
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: doctor nurses, and stories so here