Latest / Wetumpka Church of Christ Online / The Complainer
Transcript
- 0:01Okay, so to start off, let me quickly tell an experience that
- 0:05I had yesterday as we were driving to the church building
- 0:08to drop off our kids for the youth devotional that they were
- 0:11headed to very simply. I was driving fall.
- 0:15Pretend. I've got my hands on the
- 0:16steering wheel here and we were coming down to 31 about to cross
- 0:22Highway 14, where we would eventually merge into that right
- 0:27lane, that kind of brings you to downtown.
- 0:30And I hear one of the kids in the backseat, say, that guy over
- 0:33there is on his cell phone. And I, you know, I'm driving
- 0:36about to merge. And I look over and I'm kind of
- 0:40looking and sure enough that fella right over there.
- 0:44He's got his bone right in his hand and he's got the other hand
- 0:48on the steering wheel and he's looking down and and I was just
- 0:52staring at him with just firm indignation about how he was not
- 0:58looking at the road. And I audibly said aloud, he's
- 1:04going to get someone killed and is as soon as those words had
- 1:09left my mouth. I brought my eyes back to the
- 1:12center and had to get over rather quickly.
- 1:16So I didn't hit the little concrete, triangle shape thing
- 1:19and up and hit a pole. So I tell you that story to say
- 1:24often, when we do lessons, as we're going to do here in just a
- 1:27moment, one of the things that we Tend to do is we think about
- 1:33that person amongst us who really needed that lesson.
- 1:37You know, Jason how many times have you heard Uncle?
- 1:42Randy, as you come out, say, you know, she needed that and she
- 1:45needed that Uncle Randy, if you're watching, you know, so I
- 1:50would like to encourage us this morning as we talk about some of
- 1:54the things that I prepared to discuss.
- 1:56Let's try really, really hard as hard as we can.
- 2:00And to not allow some other individual in the congregation
- 2:04to enter our minds and US psychoanalyze them and think
- 2:09about how wonderfully this lesson will apply to them.
- 2:14Let's maybe think about how we can do some things to better
- 2:19ourselves and maybe see if some of these things may befall upon
- 2:24us as I've done the last couple of times that I've had the
- 2:27opportunity to preach and as will be doing Again this
- 2:30morning. We're going to continue our
- 2:32thought process on how we as Christians.
- 2:35Use our words, the things that we say and what we talked about
- 2:40in the past. The first lesson that I brought
- 2:42to you was was criticism how we give out and how we accept the
- 2:47criticisms that we experience in our daily lives.
- 2:50And a couple of weeks ago. We talked how we handle gossip
- 2:54in the pitfalls and the dangers that come with speaking gossip
- 2:59and even listening. To gossip.
- 3:01I want to begin by reading you some Snippets from, you know,
- 3:06just the other day. I was perusing through Harvard
- 3:09Business Review. As I often do from time to time
- 3:13and I just stumbled upon this article just, you know, just by
- 3:16chance. I'm so sarcastic this morning.
- 3:22Let me let me read the first paragraph and I'll give you the
- 3:24title. It goes like this, Lisa couldn't
- 3:28stand it any longer. Every time she met her
- 3:31colleague, Peter. One of her senior Executives at
- 3:34the large retail chain, where they both worked.
- 3:36He would begin an endless lament about his work, the government,
- 3:41and his personal life. After listening to Peter's
- 3:44moaning, didn't take long before she And stay claustrophobic
- 3:50reaction. It didn't help that.
- 3:52Whenever Lisa tried to reframe Peters situation, more
- 3:56positively, he would revert back to his - or negativity Peters
- 4:03constant, grumbling whining, and lamenting was toxic for everyone
- 4:09himself included. This article is entitled
- 4:12managing a chronic complainer and really the premise of the
- 4:16article was dealing with lead. Leaders and how they can help
- 4:20their, their workers. Not be that chronic complainer
- 4:25and that toxic person in the workplace.
- 4:27Let me, let me give you a little bit of what we read in this
- 4:30article. I'm not going to read the whole
- 4:31thing to you. But I do want to give you some
- 4:32of it. Research shows that chronic
- 4:35complaining like this individuals Peters.
- 4:37It has a psychological effect not only on the individual but
- 4:40others around them. The repetition of bad sad, mad
- 4:44and Powerless, feelings eventually causes
- 4:48Neurotransmitters in the brain to go through what scientists
- 4:51call a neural rewiring, which reinforces negative thought
- 4:56patterns, which makes it easier for unhappy thoughts to repeat
- 5:01themselves leaving little room for more positive feelings of
- 5:05gratitude, appreciation, and well-being, the long and short
- 5:08of it is that's a bunch of big fancy words for saying if you're
- 5:10always complaining, you're reprogramming, your brain to
- 5:13only hear negative things and not hear positive, things, your
- 5:16reprogramming, your brain. To only complain and never have
- 5:20anything good to say. A continuous cycle of negative
- 5:24thoughts, may even cause damage to the in the word looks like it
- 5:27says hippocampus, but that's not how the word is pronounced.
- 5:32But this is a part of the brain that uses problem solving and
- 5:35cognitive functioning a constant complaining can actually damage
- 5:40parts of your brain. Complainers become negativity,
- 5:47addicts. They're attracted to we're all
- 5:50familiar with this word, drama attracted to drama that comes
- 5:54with a complaining attitude. The article goes on to talk
- 5:58about how chronic complainers also have damaging effects, not
- 6:01only on themselves, but people that they are surrounded by they
- 6:04transfer these negative feelings onto other people.
- 6:07Psychologists call this projective identification.
- 6:12And what they eventually do is, is they use other people, this
- 6:15author calls, calls calls, this using other people like a trash
- 6:19can, like a dumpster. They take all of their
- 6:22complaints and they dumped them on you and you leave feeling
- 6:26burdened from their complaints. When you yourself, had none,
- 6:30your home going on at a as social beings, our brains
- 6:34unconsciously mimic the, the method and moods of other people
- 6:39around us, this neural me. Rowing.
- 6:42Hey, however, has a flip side. People who complain about
- 6:45everything they become contagious.
- 6:48And before we realize it. What are we doing?
- 6:51We too are finding things to complain about in many cases.
- 6:56Chronic complaining starts early in life.
- 6:58As a means of gaining visibility and establishing Rapport in
- 7:03family. Maybe it begins at such a young
- 7:06age, where there's someone in a home who they don't feel
- 7:09recognized. They don't feel important.
- 7:12Ain't they don't feel noticed and the only way to get noticed
- 7:15is to complain and that is how they learned.
- 7:19That is how they grew and turned into an adult who still finds
- 7:22things to complain about on a regular basis.
- 7:25As a chronic complainer. These early experiences can
- 7:31become deeply ingrained patterns of behavior.
- 7:34The authors talks about this is probably why Peter, the guy in
- 7:37the story at the beginning, constantly complains.
- 7:40This would explain why he react. Poorly to advise.
- 7:43Have you ever noticed this will talk about this a little bit
- 7:45later on, but you ever noticed if somebody who's just a
- 7:46constant complainer, you try and give them some advice to help
- 7:49them with their situation. They don't want to hear it.
- 7:52They don't want to hear the good advice.
- 7:53I don't want to listen to good advice and they'll always say
- 7:55that's not a good idea. That's not gonna work because
- 7:57all they want to do is complain. This is why people often react
- 8:01poorly to advice because resolving their problems would
- 8:04take away. The reason to complain and it's
- 8:07threatening their sense of self. You know, it is who they are.
- 8:12And I'm here to tell you this morning.
- 8:13As we look at some passages from scripture, if that is who we
- 8:16are, we gotta change who we are. We've got to be a different kind
- 8:23of person. Thank you for that.
- 8:24Amen. I didn't get one a couple of
- 8:26weeks ago when I asked for one and finally got one.
- 8:29Yeah. I don't know what that does for
- 8:31a preacher. Appreciate that.
- 8:32Jeremy. Okay, last couple of things in
- 8:35this article, the author goes on to talk about how we need to
- 8:39help people cultivate an attitude of gratitude that they
- 8:43kind of give some quick Solutions at the end and they
- 8:45don't really dive into it, very deeply, which will try and do
- 8:48here in just a moment. But some of the things they
- 8:50encourage Lisa to do for Peters help him, cultivate an attitude
- 8:53of gratitude, help him shift his attention from complaining to
- 8:56Counting His blessings. And of course, creating such a
- 8:59behavior Behavior. Change is something that does
- 9:04take time and it is a gradual process.
- 9:06Eventually, people. Let me read this last little to
- 9:09two sentence paragraph while chronic complainers appear to be
- 9:13harmless on the surface. Some people might say what bad
- 9:16is it really just complaining and being unhappy all the time.
- 9:20Chronic complainers appear to be harmless on the surface.
- 9:23They owe it to their colleagues and themselves to regulate their
- 9:27behavior. Eventually people will Tire of
- 9:31negativity. Peter needs to realize that the
- 9:35squeaky wheel doesn't always get the grease.
- 9:39Sometimes they just get replaced.
- 9:42I think about that. I don't know about you, but I
- 9:46enjoy the company of you guys and I would hate to find that I
- 9:51get replaced and I don't get to spend as much time with you guys
- 9:55as I had in the past because of my complaining because I need
- 9:58you guys, and wouldn't you hate to find out that you were?
- 10:01The person that got replaced because of the negativity.
- 10:05When you need all of us in another article, and then we'll
- 10:09dive into the sermon here in just a second.
- 10:10And another article. I found on a Blog, it was just a
- 10:13leadership blog. It talk real quickly about what
- 10:16a chronic complainer is and it kind of helped me understand a
- 10:19little bit better. When we start reading some of
- 10:21these passages. We'll look at in just a moment.
- 10:24This author gives about seven things.
- 10:27What a chronic complainer is a chronic complainer.
- 10:29Is someone who one is seeking validation, they constantly
- 10:34complain because they're looking for attention, you know, when
- 10:36you're complaining people listen to you intently because they
- 10:40think you have something important to say or at least a
- 10:42complainer thinks they have something important to say.
- 10:44Number two, a complainer is someone who feels powerless
- 10:48their complainers because they see themselves as weak and the
- 10:51circumstance as powerful. So they feel powerless.
- 10:56Number three, they feel powerful when they complain.
- 11:00The only thing weakness can do is a firm itself and disrupt
- 11:04others. Number four.
- 11:06They don't see themselves as pollution.
- 11:09They don't they don't realize that they're bringing.
- 11:14Body else down. Number five.
- 11:17How like how this how, he writes, this complainers cuddle
- 11:21with problems and bristle at Solutions.
- 11:24Newsflash. Chronic complainers aren't
- 11:27seeking advice number. Six.
- 11:31Complainers. Play it safe.
- 11:32It's easy to complain. It's hard to seek a solution and
- 11:37put it into action and seven. Complainers blame others.
- 11:44It's the boss's fault. It's the co-workers fault.
- 11:46It's the wife's fault. It's the weather's fault.
- 11:49It's always something other than themselves.
- 11:51Chronic complainers, are blamers.
- 11:54Chronic complainers, are happy with themselves, but not with
- 11:59others. Complaining makes us
- 12:03unattractive and we all like, to look at attractive.
- 12:07I mean, how many of us I would say, most?
- 12:11I'm trying to pick. Who can I pick on?
- 12:13Let's see, maybe Jeff did. It but the rest of us looked in
- 12:17the mirror this morning to see how he looked before we walked
- 12:19out the door. You know, we like to appear
- 12:23attractive. So we work on things, you know,
- 12:26we buy a new pair of shoes. We put our fancy socks on that
- 12:30have. Shannon's face all over them.
- 12:33You know, we put on a tie, we brush our teeth, we put on
- 12:35deodorant, we put on some cologne, we straighten this, we
- 12:38straighten that and then we work on our words and we try and be,
- 12:42you know, a happy individual. We Care least.
- 12:46We should about what people think of us to a degree.
- 12:49So when we're a complainer, we become unattractive and I'm not
- 12:55just talking about physically. And more importantly, we become
- 13:00unattractive to our Christian Brethren when we need them and
- 13:04they need us and we become unattractive to people in the
- 13:08world who need to see Jesus living in us and we can't do a
- 13:14good job of that when we are a complainer.
- 13:17It kills our Sample, and it drives people away.
- 13:22It is a difficult habit to break.
- 13:26But it is something that needs to be done.
- 13:29You know, it is complaining is part of our conditioning as we
- 13:34grow up in our culture. I don't know how many of you
- 13:37realize this, as you look around our culture today.
- 13:38But complaining is just what everybody does.
- 13:43Very specifically, it is in the news so much that I just can't
- 13:49watch it anymore. I haven't watched the news in
- 13:52over a year. Now.
- 13:53I feel like I'm a better person because of it, at least.
- 13:55I hope I am. But do you remember back when
- 13:57covid first started? It was the, it was like a
- 14:00national shutdown. And the News every day was about
- 14:04how many people had, how many people were dying?
- 14:06All the terrible things that are going on in the world.
- 14:08The news is reporting on the wars and the deaths and the
- 14:10crime, and the Crooked politics and none of the politicians can
- 14:14get along and eventually in the midst of all, that an actor
- 14:18named John Krasinski. I think I'm saying his name,
- 14:20right? He came out with the I don't
- 14:23know if you want to call it a Like a vlog.
- 14:26It was just his personal video camera in his home.
- 14:29He put on a suit, sat down at a table and he did something
- 14:32called some good news sgn. I believe I'm getting that
- 14:37right. And all he did was report on
- 14:40things that he could learn from the internet that were good
- 14:43things, that was good news and I tuned in and watched some of
- 14:46that. And I thought this, this right
- 14:48here is what we need instead of just whining and complaining and
- 14:53being sad all the time. We need some good news.
- 14:57You know that that's what we as Christians should be for the
- 15:00world around us. That is what we as Christians
- 15:03should be to the lost in our neighborhoods and in our
- 15:07workplaces and young people in your school's, we should be a
- 15:10source of some good news, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
- 15:17What do we really have to complain about?
- 15:20When Jesus Christ, gave his life on the cross for our sins.
- 15:25Paul wrote the book of Philippians is he was in prison.
- 15:28And in Philippians 1 verse 27, he says, only let your conduct
- 15:32your conduct the way you live your life, only, let your
- 15:35conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ.
- 15:39Let your, let the way that you live, be worthy to what the
- 15:44gospel of Christ is, and gave to you.
- 15:48So that whether I come and see you or I'm absent.
- 15:51Whichever way I hear about you, guys.
- 15:52He says that I may hear of your Affairs that you stand.
- 15:55Fast in one spirit with one mind striving together for the faith
- 16:02of the gospel. Paul says, I want to hear that
- 16:04you're living for the gospel. The good news the way that
- 16:08you're living your life. That's what I want to hear.
- 16:11So, so what does the Bible have to say about, grumbling and
- 16:15complaining and whining? What one chapter later as Reese
- 16:18read for us a moment ago in our scripture, reading verses 14 and
- 16:2115 of Philippians. Chapter 2 Paul writes, do all
- 16:25things without complaining and disputing that you may become
- 16:30blameless and harmless children of God without fault in the
- 16:34midst of a crook'd and perverse. Generation among whom you shine
- 16:39as lights in the world, you see? In the, in the unhappy
- 16:47complaining, unsatisfied lacking, contentment world that
- 16:50we live in. We as Christians spreading the
- 16:54gospel, get to be a source of light and joy, for those around
- 16:59us, but only, if we're not always walking around
- 17:02complaining about every single thing that is going wrong in
- 17:07life. Let me real quickly give you
- 17:11four types of complainers. I'm gonna give you four types of
- 17:14complainers this morning. And then I'm going to give you
- 17:16five things that we can do to make sure that we're not a
- 17:19complainer. You might say, Brent, that
- 17:20sounds like a whole lot that you're going to try and cover
- 17:22their, but I would like to remind you and especially for
- 17:24our visitors, who are brand new and don't know this our services
- 17:27on Sunday morning. Do not conclude until 11:30 for
- 17:30you. Who are visiting with us.
- 17:31You might say what, but that's the truth, Elders.
- 17:34Back me up on this. Is that right?
- 17:36Our worship service last? Until 11:30.
- 17:39See. It is the truth.
- 17:41It is the truth. So when I finish before 11:30,
- 17:45you should go. Hey.
- 17:45Good job, Brent. If we do that, okay, there's
- 17:54four types of complainers. And this won't take very long.
- 17:56The first is the whiner, The Wider is an individual who just
- 17:59wakes up with a negative attitude their their statement
- 18:04that they make most often is, that's not fair.
- 18:09That's just not fair. You know, why did the, why did
- 18:11they give at? And I didn't get that.
- 18:13Well, why is she always looking like that?
- 18:16And I can't look like that. Why did he get the job?
- 18:19And I swear, I was supposed to get the job.
- 18:22Or how did he get around all those cars?
- 18:24Like he's making it through the light.
- 18:26I'm gonna get stuck on it. It's not fair.
- 18:28That's the whiner. Probably one of the more typical
- 18:32complainers that, we experience Jesus mentions.
- 18:35This kind of individual in Matthew chapter 10, rather
- 18:38chapter 20 and verses 11 and 12, and I'm not going to take this
- 18:41Parable out of context. I do just want you to notice
- 18:44something. In the midst of this Parable.
- 18:46Jesus is talking about those individuals.
- 18:48That were paid a certain amount when they agreed to work for
- 18:51this master. They were paid.
- 18:53They were I'm sorry. They were paid the same amount,
- 18:55but they started working at different times of the day.
- 18:58And at the conclusion of the work being done.
- 19:00It's a conclusion of the day. All these people were paid the
- 19:01same thing and let's look at what happens here in verses 11
- 19:05and 12 of Matthew chapter 20, and when they had received it,
- 19:09they complained against the landowner saying these last men.
- 19:14They have worked only one hour, and you made them equal.
- 19:18Us who have borne, the burden, and the Heat of the day, we've
- 19:22been here all day, and you're paying us.
- 19:24The same thing that you're paying them.
- 19:26They have only worked an hour. And the individual goes on to
- 19:30explain that. Well, you agreed, I said, would
- 19:33you work today? And they said, yes, we will and
- 19:35I'll pay you this. Well, okay, it sounds like a
- 19:36good deal. What's it to you?
- 19:39You know, some people are just like that whiners go around
- 19:44saying that things just aren't Fair.
- 19:47Kind of, like, sometimes I do on Facebook, you know, Walmart's
- 19:52out of mustard or Walmart's got buggies that we the wheels just
- 19:56won't drive straight for crying out loud.
- 19:59Get some new Buddies. Walmart.
- 20:00There's nobody at the sports desk in the back to sell you
- 20:04anything in the glass case, you know, so some of us we find all
- 20:09kinds of Ways to vent. Our frustrations are little tiny
- 20:12minut things in life, and it really hurts our influence
- 20:17really hurts our influence. So you got the whiners.
- 20:19Secondly, you got the Martyr, the Martyr I'm sometimes accused
- 20:26of doing this as well. And that is the individual who
- 20:29is doing things for others. And at the conclusion of doing
- 20:34things for others isn't happy with the reception of the things
- 20:38done. And they start to complain.
- 20:40I can't I can't believe that you're not happy with what I
- 20:45have done for you. This is the kind of person their
- 20:48favorite saying is no one appreciates me.
- 20:54That's, that's the Martyr. These people are always having
- 20:58pity parties when things don't go their way and they let
- 21:00everyone know about it. We read about this in Numbers
- 21:04Chapter 11 Moses. Great guy.
- 21:07Did he complain? Some sure did.
- 21:09He have a reason to I suppose but he in this particular
- 21:13passage. You see him being this type of
- 21:15Winer a martyr. Purrs 11.
- 21:17If you want to turn over and read with me since verses 11
- 21:19through 15 numbers, 11 11 through 15.
- 21:22So Moses said to the Lord, why have you Afflicted your servant?
- 21:26You know, he's hearing all the whining and complaining of the
- 21:29Israelites like Moses. Why did you bring us out of
- 21:32Egypt? And we don't have food and we
- 21:33don't have fresh water and we're going to die.
- 21:34We'd be better off back into Egypt and Moses says to God.
- 21:38Why have you Afflicted your servant me Moses?
- 21:41And why have I not found favor in your sight that you have laid
- 21:44the burden of all these people? On me.
- 21:47Did I conceive? All these people did?
- 21:50I beget them? That you should say, to me,
- 21:54carry them in, your bosom, as a guardian carries, a nursing
- 21:57child to the land, which you swear to their fathers, this to
- 22:02me, this really sounds. Whiny Moses saying I'm not their
- 22:04literal parent. I'm not carrying them in my womb
- 22:09to Egypt. Sorry to the promised land for.
- 22:14They weep all over me saying, give us meat that we may eat.
- 22:20I am not able to Bear all these people alone because the burden
- 22:24is too heavy for me. If you treat me like this.
- 22:27Please kill me here. And now, if I have found favor
- 22:30in your sight and do not, let me see my wretchedness.
- 22:35Any of us ever talked like that? All I have done for you.
- 22:39People. All I've done for you.
- 22:40And this is, this is what I get in return.
- 22:43How many of us have parents have acted that way?
- 22:47The Martyr? The third one is the cynic, the
- 22:50cynic. And this is where we'll go to
- 22:51the Book of Ecclesiastes Solomon.
- 22:53Fits this category. The cynic is the individual
- 22:56who's like, well, we're all going to die.
- 22:59Yeah. This is it.
- 23:01Nothing can be fixed. Nothing can be made better by
- 23:05this is the end of me. I'm going to fail.
- 23:06I'm going to be fired. I'm going to lose my job.
- 23:09She's gonna leave me, you know, it's just that you know, the
- 23:12world is just kaput, Ecclesiastes chapter 1 verses 2
- 23:16through 4. You remember, Solomon writes
- 23:19this because he's been searching for for the a reason for
- 23:23existence. And we do know as he gets to the
- 23:26conclusion of the Book of Ecclesiastes.
- 23:28He realizes what the meaning of life is, but here in the early
- 23:31part of the Book of Ecclesiastes, he hasn't gotten
- 23:33there yet. And this is what he says.
- 23:35Vanity of vanities, says the preacher.
- 23:37Her vanity of vanities all is Vanity.
- 23:41That's five vanities. Just in a few words there.
- 23:44He says what profit has a man from all his labor in which he
- 23:47toils under the sun, one generation passes away and
- 23:51another generation comes, but the Earth abides forever.
- 23:54He says, you know, all this work.
- 23:56I've done all the toiling and working for my job.
- 23:59And what do I get? Nothing?
- 24:02That's the cynic. Few verses later verse 9 of
- 24:05Ecclesiastes. One that which has been is What
- 24:08will be and that which is done, is what will be done.
- 24:11And there is nothing new Under the Sun, the cynic and fourthly.
- 24:17The fourth complainer is the perfectionist and the
- 24:20perfectionist, you know, that they get down on themselves, but
- 24:24they also get down on others and that, is there expecting
- 24:27everything to always go as planned happen, exactly, like
- 24:31they have prepared for, and it doesn't always happen that they
- 24:37can't. Make things be perfect.
- 24:39And so, they find things to complain about their famous
- 24:42phrases phrases are phrases. Such as is that the best you can
- 24:45do or don't you want Excellence? Try harder?
- 24:54A couple of passages that I think maybe.
- 24:58In a way, convey. This thought is one found in
- 25:02Proverbs chapter 27, and verse 15.
- 25:04Now, the new King James says, this Proverbs 27, 15 a continual
- 25:09dripping on a very rainy day. In a contentious woman are alike
- 25:14and I'm not going to pick on the women, but what the author is
- 25:17trying to get at is that, you know, a husband with his wife
- 25:20who's always nagging him and never pleased with anything that
- 25:24he's doing and he can't do anything, right?
- 25:27It's like just a drip drip drip, drip, drip that never ceases a
- 25:33version of the Bible that I'm not familiar with the gnb.
- 25:37And I thought, I wrote down what that stands for.
- 25:40But I don't remember that version words that passage this
- 25:43way. A nagging wife is like water
- 25:46going, drip, drip drip, on a rainy day in chapter 21 of
- 25:51Proverbs, verse 19, new King, James says, better to dwell in
- 25:55the wilderness than with a Tensions and angry woman.
- 25:59Now, the southern version says better to live out in the desert
- 26:02than with a nagging complaining wife.
- 26:06And you know, there's absolute truth that we don't want to be
- 26:09married to someone who's never happy with anything that we do
- 26:13that, everything that we do is an epic failure.
- 26:15We're always at fault. We can't meet any expectations
- 26:19wives. I want to be married to a
- 26:21husband like that and husbands don't want to be married to a
- 26:23wife like that. That's that is the
- 26:27perfectionist. Someone who is never happy with
- 26:30anything. So we look at these with these
- 26:33passages and we talked about some of these types of people
- 26:36and we take our minds back to Philippians chapter 2, verses 14
- 26:39and 15. And we understand that God
- 26:41instructs us as his children to not be and to not have a
- 26:47complaining attitude. We know that to be fact because
- 26:50we find it in scripture. So what can we as Christians
- 26:52today do about it? What is the solution?
- 26:55What can we do to make sure that we're not that type of person,
- 26:59so that we can be the right kind of influence to people around
- 27:03us. I'm going to give you those five
- 27:04things right now. Number one.
- 27:06The first thing that you need to do is the same thing that any
- 27:09person suffering from substance abuse has to do in order to get
- 27:15clean and that is admit you have a problem.
- 27:20So again back to what I said at the beginning of the lesson this
- 27:23morning, let's don't think about the people in the audience who
- 27:26struggle from this let's ask ourselves.
- 27:29Is this something that I struggle with and do I need to
- 27:33make some changes in my own? Own life.
- 27:36The first step is you have to admit that.
- 27:40It is something that you struggle with Solomon writes and
- 27:42Proverbs 28:13, he who covers his sins will not Prosper, but
- 27:50whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy to fix the
- 27:56sin in our lives. We have to confess the sin in
- 28:01order to begin the changes and this is probably the hardest
- 28:04thing. Thing that we have to do in the
- 28:06things that we're going to suggest here is recognizing that
- 28:09we ourselves are the ones suffering from this problem.
- 28:13It is so easy. And we talked about it in our
- 28:15Young Adult class, Allison brought up the passage from The
- 28:19Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus is discussing, how, you know, if
- 28:21you got that beam sticking out of your eye, how are you going
- 28:24to go and help someone else with the spec?
- 28:26And there's, it's so easy to see the speck and so difficult to
- 28:30see the beam in our own eyes. If someone recorded our voices
- 28:38for an entire week of everything that we said, what would it
- 28:41reveal concerning our speech? What would we hear things that
- 28:48were negative or things that were positive?
- 28:50Would we hear someone that we would want to be around or
- 28:54someone? We would try to avoid?
- 28:57I'm playing is not only a bad habit.
- 29:00It goes directly against the will of God.
- 29:06We have to admit that we have a problem.
- 29:09God did not want the nation of Israel to be complainers.
- 29:12In fact, God, condemned the nation of Israel because of
- 29:17their complaining and they complained all the way from
- 29:19Egypt and all the way to the promised land in numbers.
- 29:23I'm not going to give you all these scripture references.
- 29:25If you feel like you need them. I'll give them to you later.
- 29:27But for Times Sake, all the things that they completed
- 29:30claimed about complain about on their Journeys, they complain
- 29:32about what they had to drink, what they had to eat the fact
- 29:35that they were missing out. Don't know the good food that
- 29:37was back in Egypt. They complained about their
- 29:39leaders. They complained about what they
- 29:42were giving and they were complaining about how much of
- 29:45what they were given was given. They had eventually developed
- 29:49this grumbling complaining attitude of which God says in
- 29:52numbers 11 and verse 1. Now, the people complained about
- 29:56their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard
- 30:01them, his anger was aroused. In fact, you read further on
- 30:05into numbers. Chapter 11, you'll see that God
- 30:07punish the nation of Israel by consuming some of its people
- 30:11with a fire executing them because of their complaining.
- 30:18God said in Numbers, Chapter 14 and verse 29 and following that
- 30:21complainers, were not going to be able to enter into the
- 30:23promised land and because of their complaining, wandered in
- 30:27the wilderness for 40 years and eventually losing their lives.
- 30:33You want to conquer the complaining that you have in
- 30:36your life? It makes you have a problem
- 30:38number to accept responsibility for our own lives.
- 30:42I say this. Let's just brush over this one
- 30:44real quick here. Many times the things that we
- 30:46complain about. We have brought them upon
- 30:48ourselves because of our poor decisions.
- 30:51You ever heard the expression, you made your bed now.
- 30:53Sleep in it. That's harsh.
- 30:56That's harsh. It's real harsh.
- 30:57When someone says, well, you made your bed now sleep in it.
- 31:00Well, what I think we should gain from this, is that Back
- 31:03that many times the complaints that we have are an attempt to
- 31:07blame other people and blame circumstances.
- 31:11But the reason that we are complaining about these things
- 31:14that we're experiencing is because we made poor decisions.
- 31:18So what can we do? Let's make some better
- 31:20decisions, make some better choices.
- 31:24Proverbs 19. And verse 3 says, when a man's
- 31:27Folly, brings his way to ruin its his folly.
- 31:30It's his foolishness, his foolish.
- 31:32This has brought upon him some hardship ruin when that happens.
- 31:37The the wise man says his heart, rages against the Lord.
- 31:42He wants to point and blame others.
- 31:45Now God comes down to earth walks in the garden and says to
- 31:48Adam Adam. What are you doing?
- 31:52My wife gave it to me, you know, that's that's what we do.
- 31:57What do we need to do? Is we need to accept
- 31:59responsibility for our actions. Not complain about how things
- 32:06happen when it's of our own fault.
- 32:09We're free to choose what we will do in our lives.
- 32:13We're free. And how will react and respond.
- 32:16We're free to say, whatever we wish, God gives us all.
- 32:19These abilities gives us free will, but once we make a choice,
- 32:27we're no longer free to complain about the consequences of that
- 32:31choice. People complain about being in
- 32:33debt. They're spending all their
- 32:35money. People complain about not having
- 32:38this and not having that, but they're sitting on the behind,
- 32:41not working for this, or for that.
- 32:44People find all kinds of things to complain about and often it's
- 32:49because they're not willing to accept her responsibility for
- 32:52themselves. I found this on the internet.
- 32:54I thought it was pretty funny. There's three types of people in
- 32:57life. Three types of people, the
- 32:59accuser the excuse, ER, and the chooser.
- 33:03You know, when it comes to complaining many people, they
- 33:05just blame others. Many people make excuses about
- 33:08life circumstances, you know, I was born this way.
- 33:11I was born into this and this is how I was raised.
- 33:14It's not my fault, but then those people who are choosers.
- 33:18They choose to make a change, make a difference and be better
- 33:23admit that you have a problem except the responsibility and
- 33:27thirdly and this this right here is the solution.
- 33:31This is the antidote to all. Complaining in life have an
- 33:35attitude of gratitude. And the Bible is chock-full of
- 33:40this a time. Say we cannot look at all of it.
- 33:42But I'll give you just a few. The first one is, first
- 33:44Thessalonians, chapter 5 and verse 18.
- 33:47This is my favorite Bible verse. This is the verse that I have at
- 33:50the bottom of all of my stationery.
- 33:51When I met somebody a letter, this verse is at the bottom in
- 33:54everything, give, thanks for. This is the will of God in
- 33:58Christ Jesus. Concerning you in everything.
- 34:02Now, it It doesn't mean you have to think God for the terrible
- 34:08sinful thing that is happening to you.
- 34:10That someone else has placing upon you, but you can still be
- 34:14thankful in the situation, not for the situation, but in the
- 34:18situation and in everything, give thanks look around for the
- 34:24Silver Lining. You're driving down the road and
- 34:27you're stuck in a traffic jam. Be thankful that you're in a
- 34:29motorized car. That's working.
- 34:32You're stopped for many, many, many hours, and you're going to
- 34:34be late for your appointment, be glad you got some air
- 34:37conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter.
- 34:40Your car breaks down. You got a flat tire and you pull
- 34:42over on the side of the road and you're going to miss the event.
- 34:45Be thankful that you weren't in a terrible auto accident.
- 34:47Be thankful that you have working arms and legs that you
- 34:50can change your tire. You're there.
- 34:53You can find the silver lining in just about everything.
- 34:56You're going through the worst experience in your life.
- 35:01You name it? Death disease, heartache loss of
- 35:06a loved one. Yes, steel have Heaven waiting
- 35:11on the other side. Look for the Silver Lining,
- 35:14develop an attitude of gratitude.
- 35:19Philippians 4 verse 11. Paul says, not that I speak in
- 35:22respect of want for I have learned in whatsoever.
- 35:25State. I am therewith to be content, be
- 35:29content, be thankful. The psalmist writes in a
- 35:35numerous passages, Psalm 717. I will give thanks to the Lord
- 35:40because of his righteousness. Psalm 91.
- 35:42I will, I will give thanks to you Lord, with all my heart.
- 35:46Psalm 30:5 18. I will give you thanks.
- 35:48I will praise you. Psalm 69 30 Magnify Him with
- 35:52Thanksgiving. So I'm 95 1 through 3, come
- 35:55before his presence with Thanksgiving.
- 35:58Psalm 104 through five, be thankful to him.
- 36:01Psalm 106 and verse 1. And for he is good, he is
- 36:04merciful and his Mercy endures forever.
- 36:07That's just a tiny little snippet of everything that you
- 36:11can find in God's word. Jesus Christ died on the cross
- 36:14for yours and my sins. And because of that, we have a
- 36:19Hope Of Heaven. One day have an attitude of
- 36:24gratitude fourthly. Look for God's Providence in
- 36:28your life. If you want victory over
- 36:32complaining, look around and try and find some things in your
- 36:35life that you think might be God working in it.
- 36:40Now. Even Paul was hesitant to put
- 36:43his finger on something. That was providentially God's
- 36:47doings. In fact, when Paul wrote to
- 36:49Philemon in the book of Philemon, discussing the
- 36:51circumstance with onesimus. Paul said, for perhaps, he
- 36:55didn't know for sure, but he said maybe maybe Be in.
- 37:00And so what I encourage you to do is look around at your life
- 37:02and think, maybe man, I got this flat tire.
- 37:05I was talking to Alex about this the other day that, you know,
- 37:09sometimes I'll have some kind of Automotive incident where I'm
- 37:11broke down, and I grew up in the rice family.
- 37:13We've never had the best vehicles and sometimes you break
- 37:15down on the side of the road, and I think, maybe, maybe this
- 37:19is God. Keeping me from some terrible
- 37:21automobile accident, way, on down the line.
- 37:23I don't know. But if you start doing that with
- 37:27everything that goes bad in your life.
- 37:30The complaining quickly goes away and the thankfulness
- 37:33quickly sets in try and look for the providential workings of God
- 37:38in your life. Paul wrote in second,
- 37:39Corinthians 4 verse 17. He says for our light Affliction
- 37:43which is but for a moment is life.
- 37:46Life is a is a light Affliction. There's a lot of Heartache but
- 37:49it's you know comparing it to what Paul is about to mention
- 37:52here. It's small and it's temporary
- 37:54for our light Affliction, which is, but for a moment worketh for
- 37:57us a far more exceeding and eternal weight.
- 38:00Glory while we look not at the things which are seen.
- 38:03As don't focus on life. He says not only things that are
- 38:08seen But at the things which are not seen for the things which
- 38:12are seen are temporary but the things which are not seen are
- 38:16eternal. Try and find some things in your
- 38:21life that you could consider the providential workings of God.
- 38:25When We complain, I'm basically saying that if I were God, I
- 38:29would do it this way. What complaining are complaining
- 38:33is, is kind of like the Israelites?
- 38:35It's Rebellion against God. I'm questioning God's wisdom.
- 38:41I'm doubting God's love. I'm forgetting God's goodness
- 38:46when I complain and fifthly this morning.
- 38:50Practice speaking positively that sounds so cliche and silly.
- 38:56But if you're an individual who struggles with the complaining,
- 39:00start working on some good things that you can say, get,
- 39:03get a note card, write some things down that you should be
- 39:06being happy about and things that you should say on a regular
- 39:09basis, put it in your pocket. And when you find yourself
- 39:12complaining, whoop, that note card out and start reading about
- 39:14some things that you can be happy for and say them out loud
- 39:19brag on. Our people compliment.
- 39:21Someone, tell someone that you're so proud of this person
- 39:25over here. Don't always be talking about
- 39:28how you can't stand. So and so and you can't stand.
- 39:30So and so find something to say positively Paul says, in
- 39:36Ephesians 4:29, let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth.
- 39:41But that means here's what should come out of your mouth.
- 39:44What is good for necessary edification, that it may impart
- 39:50grace to the hearers. The Bible tells us that we're
- 39:54going to give account of every word that comes out of our
- 39:57mouth. What do you want God to be
- 39:59reading from The Book of Life when he discusses your life and
- 40:03the words that you said. What are the results?
- 40:10In our lives from not complaining, you got to go back
- 40:13to Philippians chapter 2 and look at verse 15, which is right
- 40:16after verse 14 numerically, obviously, but in verse 14, he
- 40:21said, don't Grumble and complain.
- 40:23And then in verse 15, he tells us what the outcome will be that
- 40:27you may become blameless and harmless children of God without
- 40:32fault. You're telling me if I'll stop
- 40:35complaining and grumbling, but I'll start being positive and
- 40:38I'll start saying good things. What will I become Brent?
- 40:41Well, the Bible says I'll be blameless.
- 40:43I'll be harmless. I'll be the children of God.
- 40:46I'll be without fault. And even though I'm in the midst
- 40:49of a crooked and perverse generation.
- 40:51I'll be able to shine as a light in this world.
- 40:58I know it's kind of sounds, so cheesy.
- 41:03When you say it like this, but get rid of the negative talk and
- 41:07say good things because we, as Christians of all people in this
- 41:13world, have the most to be thankful and grateful for.
- 41:19Maybe you're here this morning and you're not a child of God.
- 41:21I want to encourage you become a Christian, become a Christian by
- 41:24repenting of the sins that you have in your life confessed.
- 41:27That Christ is Lord and Savior and be immersed in water.
- 41:31So those sins can be washed away.
- 41:32We have a I'm sure you back here behind me that is prepared.
- 41:35And if that is what you need will study with, you will talk
- 41:37with, you. Will Pat you on the back.
- 41:39You can be baptized into the Lord.
- 41:41This very morning. Maybe you already are a child of
- 41:43God, but somewhere in your life, you've made some mistakes as we
- 41:45all do. Maybe you're a person who wants
- 41:47to change from being the complainer to someone who is one
- 41:51who brags and says good things and positive things.
- 41:53Maybe you just need prayers of strength and encouragement.
- 41:57Maybe you have a sin in your life that you need to repent of.
- 41:59If we can help you in any way. Please come right now, while we
- 42:01stand in the sink.