Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / 216: My Karma

Transcript

216: My Karma · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

0:00
Speaker 1: Aloha, Zach Graham. Hi, everybody.
0:03
Speaker 2: Hi, everybody. Hello, friends. Hello, Donald. Hello, Daniel. Hello, Joelle.
0:09
Speaker 2: What is that?
0:10
Speaker 1: These are olives with garlic in them.
0:13
Speaker 2: Why would you bring those to our meeting?
0:15
Speaker 1: Because it goes so good with this.
0:18
Speaker 2: What is that?
0:19
Speaker 1: This is a bourbon.
0:21
Speaker 2: Oh, nice.
0:23
Speaker 1: What are you sipping? Is that champagne?
0:25
Speaker 2: Well, we're out of wine glasses, and I wanted to
0:29
Speaker 2: have a little... sans serre with you today um so
0:32
Speaker 2: i poured it into a champagne flute i don't want
0:34
Speaker 2: you to think i'm drinking champagne i'm not donald.
0:38
Speaker 1: Uh well this is a scotch glass and i don't
0:41
Speaker 1: want you to think i'm drinking our orange juice or
0:44
Speaker 1: something like that this is actually scotch.
0:47
Speaker 2: Yes i see you i see you how are you
0:49
Speaker 2: how's it going the hair is looking good.
0:51
Speaker 1: The hair is feeling good too, man. You are looking good.
0:54
Speaker 1: You're looking all shaggy and everything. The head's looking all shaggy.
0:57
Speaker 1: Look like Han Solo in episode one.
1:00
Speaker 2: There you go. Okay. Well, that didn't take long to
1:02
Speaker 2: get us into that.
1:05
Speaker 1: Well, not episode one. Episode four, I should say. Episode four.
1:08
Speaker 1: I shaved.
1:09
Speaker 2: My hair is long. My hair is long, but I'm
1:12
Speaker 2: freshly shaved and excited to see you guys. It's always
1:15
Speaker 2: nice to check in With our friend group here. And
1:19
Speaker 2: everyone listening, it's nice. I feel excited to be talking
1:22
Speaker 2: to all these fine people who are listening. Someone told
1:24
Speaker 2: me on one of the social media that we've actually
1:28
Speaker 2: helped them lose weight because they are listening to the
1:32
Speaker 2: podcast as they jog or power walk, whatever they're doing.
1:36
Speaker 2: And that as they go longer, they're increasing the distance
1:40
Speaker 2: they're going. And they said, like, I wanted to thank
1:42
Speaker 2: you guys because it gave me motivation.
1:44
Speaker 1: I read that too. That was... That was pretty cool.
1:47
Speaker 1: It made me feel good, man. I don't know about you,
1:49
Speaker 1: but if we're entertaining you while you're working out right now,
1:52
Speaker 1: that makes me so happy. I don't know about Daniel
1:56
Speaker 1: and Joelle, how that makes you guys feel. But for me,
1:58
Speaker 1: that's like one of those things, like if I can
2:00
Speaker 1: distract you to the point where you don't feel the
2:03
Speaker 1: pain anymore.
2:04
Speaker 2: Hell yeah. Yeah.
2:06
Speaker 1: Yeah.
2:06
Speaker 2: You know, I think it's a great feeling. And if
2:09
Speaker 2: you haven't done that yet, you know, you can take
2:11
Speaker 2: your dog on a walk with us. We're willing to
2:13
Speaker 2: go with you. Take us, take us anywhere you go.
2:16
Speaker 1: You could take us in the pool if you got
2:18
Speaker 1: the right headphones.
2:19
Speaker 2: Yes, that's true. Don't electrocute yourself on our behalf. But yeah,
2:25
Speaker 2: I mean, no, it's nice. It was in all seriousness.
2:26
Speaker 2: It was nice to hear that we were sort of
2:28
Speaker 2: indirectly aspiring someone to to take care of themselves and
2:33
Speaker 2: do some cardio. I felt happy. I felt happy about that.
2:36
Speaker 1: Made me feel good, too. It was also nice to
2:39
Speaker 1: see the love that Shay got on the show last week.
2:41
Speaker 2: Everybody loves Shay.
2:43
Speaker 1: How do you not love Shay?
2:45
Speaker 2: And he's just so smart and humble and kind. And
2:49
Speaker 2: I want to be real friends with Shay.
2:51
Speaker 1: I would love to be real friends with Shay.
2:52
Speaker 2: When the pandemic's over, I would like to like, you know,
2:55
Speaker 2: hang out with Shay.
2:56
Speaker 1: Maybe go to a restaurant, have a meal.
2:59
Speaker 2: It's hard to make new guy friends when you're our age, right?
3:04
Speaker 2: You just kind of have your friends. But I feel
3:06
Speaker 2: like Daniel and Joella are our new friends. I didn't
3:08
Speaker 2: mean to specifically say guys, but I mean, you know,
3:11
Speaker 2: like I run across someone like Shay and I think,
3:13
Speaker 2: you know, I would be real friends with this person.
3:16
Speaker 2: But what do you do? You go on like a
3:17
Speaker 2: man date? Like, hey, let's go on a man date
3:20
Speaker 2: and get a drink.
3:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't know if it'd have to be
3:25
Speaker 1: called a man date. It just could be called a date.
3:27
Speaker 1: Let's go out. Let's go and do something.
3:30
Speaker 2: I know, but don't you think it's a little weird
3:32
Speaker 2: to be like, hey, man, do you want to go
3:34
Speaker 2: on a man date? If you came, it wouldn't be weird.
3:37
Speaker 2: Then it'd be a threesome man date.
3:39
Speaker 1: And then... We're talking, and then we're talking.
3:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, then she could go down.
3:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, then it could happen. I love it.
3:49
Speaker 2: Oh, by the way, I meant to tell you that
3:51
Speaker 2: Florence's mother was kind enough to record her admonishing us
3:56
Speaker 2: for talking about our willies, and I've sent it to Dan,
4:00
Speaker 2: and any time that we saunter into talking about our
4:04
Speaker 2: penises too much, you will hear something like, The following,
4:08
Speaker 2: which Dan will now play. Oh, for fuck's sake, just
4:11
Speaker 2: stop talking about your willies.
4:14
Speaker 1: Well, we got a problem because this episode, there's a
4:18
Speaker 1: lot of sex in this episode. And usually when you
4:21
Speaker 1: talk about sex, the first thing you talk about, at
4:24
Speaker 1: least me, is how my willy feels after or during
4:29
Speaker 1: or before sex.
4:30
Speaker 2: Why is there a lot of sex? Isn't this my
4:32
Speaker 2: karma that we watched?
4:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's a baby being born. Oh, okay.
4:36
Speaker 2: Well, that's not sexual. A baby being born is not sexual.
4:39
Speaker 1: Elliot and Nurse Flowers do the do finally, and we
4:44
Speaker 1: find out. You know what? How about this? Five, six, seven, eight.
4:52
Speaker 3: About a bunch of dogs and nurses and a janitor
4:56
Speaker 3: who loved to hate. I said he's got stories that
4:59
Speaker 3: we all should know. So gather round to hear our,
5:04
Speaker 3: gather round to hear our Scrubs Rewatch Show with Zach
5:08
Speaker 3: and Donald.
5:12
Speaker 1: You want to just, let's get this out of the
5:13
Speaker 1: way right away. I want to get this.
5:15
Speaker 2: Okay. You feel like you're sort of revved up. I
5:19
Speaker 2: feel like you came to work today prepared. You got
5:23
Speaker 2: a little pep in your step, and you want to
5:24
Speaker 2: do this summary.
5:25
Speaker 1: I want to do it now.
5:27
Speaker 2: All right. Well, let Daddy get out his timer.
5:30
Speaker 1: Get that timer, Daddy.
5:32
Speaker 2: Oh, shit. That's the weirdest erection I've ever had. For
5:37
Speaker 2: fuck's sake.
5:38
Speaker 1: No, enough. That's enough.
5:40
Speaker 2: Sorry, Deb. Sorry, Deb.
5:42
Speaker 1: What's happening? You ready?
5:43
Speaker 4: Yeah.
5:44
Speaker 2: Yes, and go.
5:46
Speaker 1: Karma's a bitch.
5:48
Speaker 2: Ta-da! That's it?
5:53
Speaker 1: That is it.
5:54
Speaker 2: You just didn't fucking do your homework.
5:56
Speaker 5: Why don't you be honest?
5:58
Speaker 1: I did do my homework. It's just that there's nothing
6:00
Speaker 1: really to this. This episode, I don't know, man. This episode,
6:03
Speaker 1: the only thing that really is depth that we talk
6:06
Speaker 1: about in this episode is how karma is a bitch.
6:08
Speaker 1: How it comes around and bites you in the ass
6:11
Speaker 1: like a dog would. You know what I mean?
6:13
Speaker 4: Turk.
6:14
Speaker 1: JD, Cox, Jordan, and Kelso all learned this lesson in
6:19
Speaker 1: the episode, you know, and that's really all there is
6:22
Speaker 1: to it. Even in the summary at the end of
6:24
Speaker 1: the episode, it's pretty much that.
6:26
Speaker 2: You know, when I was a child, my father would
6:30
Speaker 2: rate us how well we'd eaten off our dinner plate.
6:33
Speaker 2: And he'd go, and when he was mad and grumpy,
6:35
Speaker 2: he'd go, that's an F job. That is an F job.
6:38
Speaker 2: And I think I want to say to you right now, Donald,
6:42
Speaker 2: that is an F job.
6:45
Speaker 1: Well, you know what? I take that. That's an honor
6:47
Speaker 1: for me because it's something that your dad used to
6:52
Speaker 1: say to you guys. And you know how much I
6:54
Speaker 1: love your dad. So, bam.
6:57
Speaker 2: Yesterday was his birthday.
6:58
Speaker 1: Oh, man. How are you?
7:01
Speaker 2: I'm, you know, sorry. You couldn't. I'm about to say
7:03
Speaker 2: for those of you who don't know. But why would
7:04
Speaker 2: you know? Although I have spoken about my father dying.
7:06
Speaker 2: My father has passed away. But, of course, anyone who's
7:10
Speaker 2: lost a parent, you sometimes... look down at the calendar
7:13
Speaker 2: and go, oh my God, it's his birthday. And in fact,
7:16
Speaker 2: my calendar, he's still in my iCal thing, which puts
7:18
Speaker 2: up a reminder. And it came up yesterday. It was like,
7:21
Speaker 2: it's dad's birthday. And, you know, I don't know what
7:24
Speaker 2: to say other than it stings a little. He would
7:27
Speaker 2: love this. This would be his favorite thing in the world.
7:29
Speaker 2: My father was my biggest champion. As you can imagine,
7:33
Speaker 2: he loved Donald Faison like the fourth son he never had.
7:39
Speaker 2: And he would love this. He would love more than
7:42
Speaker 2: anything us sitting around talking about scrubs because he's such
7:46
Speaker 2: my champion. He loved scrubs more than anyone.
7:49
Speaker 1: I remember one of the last times I saw your dad,
7:52
Speaker 1: we were in Mexico, and I sat down next to him.
7:58
Speaker 1: He said, okay, tell me everything. I just want to know.
8:00
Speaker 1: Tell me, what are you doing? Tell me everything. Yeah.
8:03
Speaker 2: He was so, my father, you know, some people were like,
8:05
Speaker 2: most people in our lives, I find, just they go, hey,
8:08
Speaker 2: how's it going? They don't really want a long answer.
8:10
Speaker 2: They just want, oh, good, good.
8:11
Speaker 1: How are you?
8:11
Speaker 2: My father wanted the genuine long answer. He would, he
8:14
Speaker 2: would go, okay, Donald, um, I saw you a year
8:18
Speaker 2: ago at Zach's birthday. Tell me everything that's happened since.
8:24
Speaker 2: And he would, he would genuinely want to hear it.
8:28
Speaker 2: He was so genuinely interested in people, you know? I
8:31
Speaker 2: love that quality about him.
8:33
Speaker 4: Yeah.
8:33
Speaker 5: He loved you, man.
8:35
Speaker 1: I loved him.
8:36
Speaker 2: He loved coming to the set and, uh, Everything I
8:39
Speaker 2: ever did, he came to. When I did the Broadway show,
8:41
Speaker 2: he came like 11 times. He loved it.
8:44
Speaker 1: I remember when you got nominated for the Emmy for
8:47
Speaker 1: the first year. And we did that thing in the
8:51
Speaker 1: bathroom where we were pretending to rob Tony Shalhoub of
8:55
Speaker 1: his Emmy. And your dad played the bathroom attendant. And
8:58
Speaker 1: we shot it at Scrubs right before you went to
9:02
Speaker 1: the ceremony. Because I guess we knew... The chances of
9:06
Speaker 1: you winning aren't going to be big.
9:08
Speaker 2: You can't beat Shalhoub. You can't beat Shalhoub. Are you crazy?
9:13
Speaker 2: You think you're going to beat Shalhoub?
9:14
Speaker 1: It was either him. It was something like that. We
9:17
Speaker 1: either robbed him or it was Hugh Laurie or something
9:19
Speaker 1: like that. And we took his cane or some shit
9:22
Speaker 1: like that. And then we ran out of the bathroom.
9:24
Speaker 1: I just remember, I remember if anyone out there has
9:27
Speaker 1: that thing, I'm sure it's on YouTube somewhere. Your dad
9:32
Speaker 1: played the bathroom attendant in that episode. And I feel like.
9:35
Speaker 6: Yeah.
9:36
Speaker 1: That was one of the first times. That's one of
9:37
Speaker 1: my first memories of your dad, actually.
9:39
Speaker 2: I put my dad in Garden State and I gave
9:43
Speaker 2: him a long monologue and he kept messing it up.
9:46
Speaker 2: And I felt so bad because he was so, you know,
9:49
Speaker 2: like my dad used to do community theater or as
9:55
Speaker 2: they call it in England, amateur dramatics. But, he was
9:58
Speaker 2: always the lead in the local play.
10:00
Speaker 5: Come on in.
10:02
Speaker 2: Oh, hi. Hey, look who it is.
10:04
Speaker 5: Do you want to give another cooking tip to Donald?
10:08
Speaker 7: Yeah.
10:09
Speaker 2: Oh, she's going to pour me some Sancerre and my
10:11
Speaker 2: champagne flute. Hey, how you doing? Welcome back.
10:13
Speaker 3: Thanks.
10:14
Speaker 4: Hi.
10:14
Speaker 5: How's everyone doing?
10:15
Speaker 1: Everyone's great.
10:16
Speaker 2: How are you?
10:16
Speaker 1: We're good over here. The pizza came out good, as
10:19
Speaker 1: you can see.
10:20
Speaker 4: Yeah?
10:20
Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Did you like the oil?
10:22
Speaker 1: I loved the oil. The problem was I got to
10:24
Speaker 1: figure out a way to fuse the garlic into the
10:28
Speaker 1: olive oil. I think maybe if I cook it, that'll
10:31
Speaker 1: help out.
10:32
Speaker 6: Well, also, what you could do is instead of chopping it,
10:35
Speaker 6: did you do the grater tip?
10:37
Speaker 4: No.
10:38
Speaker 1: I literally took olive oil and just dropped garlic into it.
10:42
Speaker 6: Right.
10:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no. And then covered it and shook it.
10:46
Speaker 6: No, I get you. So what you're going to do
10:47
Speaker 6: is you have obviously one of those big graters with
10:50
Speaker 6: like all the different levels.
10:51
Speaker 1: Yeah.
10:51
Speaker 6: So if you go on to the thin slice rather
10:54
Speaker 6: than the, what you do on Parmesan and you grate
10:57
Speaker 6: the garlic and put it in the oil and then
11:00
Speaker 6: mix it around, it will start kind of getting all
11:02
Speaker 6: good and juicy pretty much after 10, 15 minutes.
11:05
Speaker 4: Okay.
11:05
Speaker 6: Okay. And that lasts actually for a week. So you
11:09
Speaker 6: could put that on your salads, on your garlic bread.
11:12
Speaker 4: Okay.
11:12
Speaker 2: So you'll be good with that. This has been another
11:15
Speaker 2: edition of Flossie's cooking tip.
11:19
Speaker 1: You look great.
11:20
Speaker 2: I was just going to.
11:21
Speaker 6: Say, Donald.
11:21
Speaker 2: Give him another one.
11:22
Speaker 6: Put some, okay, so your next pizza, you're going to
11:25
Speaker 6: get some goat's cheese. The one that's not wet, but
11:27
Speaker 6: it's like in the tube, like the white tube.
11:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
11:30
Speaker 6: And you're going to do that. And you're going to
11:32
Speaker 6: do your pesto oil. And then you're also going to
11:34
Speaker 6: put some Parma ham on it and it will.
11:37
Speaker 5: Blow your mind.
11:38
Speaker 1: What is Parma ham? That sounds delicious.
11:41
Speaker 6: It's like, I mean, do you have ham on? Like
11:44
Speaker 6: a Spanish cut ham?
11:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure I could find it. I'm sure I
11:47
Speaker 1: could find it. Yeah.
11:50
Speaker 6: Like strip that up, put that on your pizza with
11:52
Speaker 6: goat's cheese and some of your pesto and actually your
11:54
Speaker 6: garlic and you'll have an awesome pizza.
11:57
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Like I made the sauce myself. Yeah.
12:02
Speaker 2: Did you?
12:03
Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah. So what I did was I took
12:05
Speaker 1: 10 tomatoes and I put some garlic into the tomatoes
12:10
Speaker 1: and then I blended it all up in a blender.
12:15
Speaker 1: And then I poured it over some heat in a
12:18
Speaker 1: pot and then add some sugar and some salt and
12:21
Speaker 1: some vinegar. Very little sugar, a lot of salt, a
12:27
Speaker 1: lot of vinegar. And that shit came out.
12:29
Speaker 7: Mwah.
12:30
Speaker 1: It was great.
12:31
Speaker 2: Naughty.
12:31
Speaker 1: Naughty, yeah.
12:32
Speaker 6: That sounds naughty.
12:33
Speaker 1: But this was all from watching. All of this came
12:36
Speaker 1: from watching you that day, just like you are a natural, yo.
12:40
Speaker 2: You were mesmerized.
12:42
Speaker 1: I was. You are a natural at cooking. I watch
12:45
Speaker 1: when you do the Instagram stuff and you're chopping stuff
12:47
Speaker 1: up and you're about to cook. I watch that stuff too, Flo.
12:51
Speaker 1: keep it coming please keep it coming as a matter
12:54
Speaker 1: of fact okay i'm okay all right no.
12:56
Speaker 6: No i was doing it all right you were doing
13:00
Speaker 6: it in a quiet.
13:01
Speaker 2: Well this has been another edition of flo's cooking tips
13:06
Speaker 2: all right see this podcast has something for everyone let's
13:09
Speaker 2: say you don't even like scrubs well you just got
13:11
Speaker 2: some pizza cooking tips.
13:13
Speaker 1: Listen that's not all she can cook though she can
13:15
Speaker 1: cook so many things You're a very lucky, lucky man.
13:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am very lucky, of course. It's idiotic. It
13:21
Speaker 2: makes absolutely no sense. I get it. People who write
13:26
Speaker 2: on the internet, why the hell is she with him?
13:28
Speaker 2: I get it. I don't understand it either.
13:35
Speaker 1: Listen, as your best friend, you're a little bit above
13:40
Speaker 1: your pay grade right now, dude.
13:42
Speaker 2: I know. Well, you don't have to join the people
13:44
Speaker 2: on the internet, Donald. I honestly thought that was going
13:48
Speaker 2: to go the other way. Donald was going to say,
13:49
Speaker 2: you know, as your best friend, she's lucky to have
13:52
Speaker 2: you too. No, no, no, no, no, no. And instead
13:55
Speaker 2: he's like, as your best friend, yeah, you're hitting above
13:58
Speaker 2: your fucking pay grade right now.
14:01
Speaker 1: But you'd say the same thing to me. You say
14:03
Speaker 1: that shit to me all the time about Casey.
14:06
Speaker 2: It makes absolutely no sense. I get it. Listen, she
14:08
Speaker 2: was helping with an audition the other day. It was
14:10
Speaker 2: a voiceover audition.
14:13
Speaker 1: She got the part and you didn't.
14:15
Speaker 2: No, listen, this is my joke. I'm positive that's what's
14:17
Speaker 2: going to happen. Because it's an... Listen, it's an animated character.
14:21
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say anymore because it's super top secret.
14:23
Speaker 2: But I love doing animated voices. And it's for a
14:27
Speaker 2: huge thing. And I'm like, babe, I need you to
14:29
Speaker 2: read with me. And she's like, all right, but tell
14:31
Speaker 2: me about my character. I'm like, don't worry about your character.
14:34
Speaker 2: You're off camera. I mean, it wasn't being filmed. It
14:37
Speaker 2: was just audio. So it was like normally if you're
14:39
Speaker 2: doing it, for those of you who don't know, if
14:40
Speaker 2: an actor is doing a video edition, your friend who's
14:43
Speaker 2: reading with you is behind the camera. You never even
14:44
Speaker 2: see them. But with an audio edition, it was like
14:46
Speaker 2: we were kind of on the same playing field. So
14:49
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, trying to say in so
14:51
Speaker 2: many words, like, don't like upstage me with your fucking
14:54
Speaker 2: great acting. This audition is about me, okay? So your
14:58
Speaker 2: character can't be like great.
14:59
Speaker 1: Right, right.
15:02
Speaker 2: So she starts getting into character and little by little,
15:05
Speaker 2: I'm like, she's going to get the fucking part over me.
15:07
Speaker 2: They're going to be like, who was reading with him?
15:10
Speaker 2: Because that was fine. I mean, Zach was fine, but
15:12
Speaker 2: whoever was reading with him was amazing.
15:14
Speaker 1: I think we all went out for the same part.
15:17
Speaker 1: Did you audition for.
15:19
Speaker 2: Yes, that was it. You auditioned for that too?
15:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, who didn't, man? That shit is everywhere, man.
15:24
Speaker 2: All right. Well, I thought that I was one of... Well,
15:28
Speaker 2: I understand why you should definitely read for that part.
15:31
Speaker 2: We can't give away too many specifics, but I could
15:34
Speaker 2: actually even imagine you being way better at it than me.
15:37
Speaker 1: I imagine... No, no way!
15:40
Speaker 2: Well, because of certain specific aspects of the character that
15:43
Speaker 2: you would do well.
15:44
Speaker 1: Dude, you're perfect for it. And look, well, look, we're both...
15:48
Speaker 1: We both love.
15:50
Speaker 2: No, you beeped that, Dan. We're both blank fans.
15:53
Speaker 1: We're both....
15:58
Speaker 2: Dude, I'm not trying to break an NDA before I
16:01
Speaker 2: even get the part. Anyway, Donald, I just want you
16:08
Speaker 2: to know that you know the audition now. You know
16:10
Speaker 2: the scene. And Flo was reading the other part in
16:13
Speaker 2: the scene. And I'm sitting here as a director being like, oh, fuck,
16:16
Speaker 2: she's good at this. And I'm like, everyone's going to
16:19
Speaker 2: be listening to this and be asking about fucking her.
16:22
Speaker 1: Dude, I totally get it.
16:24
Speaker 2: All right, should we get into the episode, Donald? Let's
16:25
Speaker 2: get into the episode. These people came in for a
16:27
Speaker 2: Scrubs podcast. They're getting pizza podcasts for free. They're getting
16:31
Speaker 2: Star Wars podcasts for free. But they tuned in for
16:34
Speaker 2: a Scrubs podcast, Donald.
16:36
Speaker 1: Okay, well, then let's start it off. Dude, I thought
16:39
Speaker 1: it was very funny that Nurse Roberts is at the
16:41
Speaker 1: diner with us.
16:43
Speaker 2: I'm laughing at that too. Nurse Roberts has never socialized
16:46
Speaker 2: with us ever.
16:47
Speaker 1: Ever, ever.
16:48
Speaker 2: Why is she there?
16:49
Speaker 1: Because she's best friends with Carla.
16:52
Speaker 2: No, because I said I'd buy.
16:54
Speaker 1: No, I know, but that's what you said. You said, hey,
16:57
Speaker 1: it's on me. It's my treat. And then you're pissed
17:01
Speaker 1: off at her. And she's like, you said it was
17:03
Speaker 1: my treat. You didn't say it's my treat except for
17:05
Speaker 1: the lobster.
17:08
Speaker 2: And I go, I said no shellfish. First of all,
17:12
Speaker 2: why is Nurse Roberts ordering, who the fuck orders lobster
17:16
Speaker 2: at a diner?
17:17
Speaker 1: A diner? Right. Dude, I went to a.
17:21
Speaker 2: Diner with a dude. Nurse Roberts was like, pre-food, I'll
17:25
Speaker 2: have the lobster. But Nurse Roberts, we're at a diner.
17:28
Speaker 2: That's fine. Lobster, please.
17:29
Speaker 1: Lobster, please. You go to a diner, you get a burger,
17:35
Speaker 1: you get the freaking pancakes, you get the French toast,
17:37
Speaker 1: you get the eggs and bacon. Those are, you can't
17:39
Speaker 1: go wrong. But when you start ordering like the shepherd's
17:42
Speaker 1: pie and stuff like that, just know that it wasn't
17:46
Speaker 1: made that day.
17:46
Speaker 2: I know. It wasn't made at that moment. You know
17:50
Speaker 2: when you go to a diner or someplace that has
17:52
Speaker 2: like a menu that's like 10 pages long and you're like,
17:54
Speaker 2: how the fuck do they make all this stuff? Like
17:57
Speaker 2: Cheesecake Factory is one of those places. It's like a novel.
18:00
Speaker 2: The menu is a light novel, a novella. And you're like,
18:04
Speaker 2: how could they possibly make all this stuff? And then
18:07
Speaker 2: there's always that person that like orders like the fish.
18:10
Speaker 2: And you're like, I wouldn't be ordering the fish here. Oh, well,
18:15
Speaker 2: how are the scallops at IHOP?
18:17
Speaker 1: Right. Cheesecakes.
18:31
Speaker 2: First of all, not only is Nurse Roberts there because
18:34
Speaker 2: she was going to get free food, but I'm sitting
18:37
Speaker 2: there with the woman I love is macking with her
18:40
Speaker 2: new boyfriend. And I wanted to ask you, do you
18:43
Speaker 2: think you could ever be out with your girlfriend? Girlfriend's
18:46
Speaker 2: new ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. They're like, who does that?
18:49
Speaker 1: Dude, I've been very lucky in my life for that
18:51
Speaker 1: to never happen to me. Uh, I saw it happen
18:54
Speaker 1: to a buddy of mine and that shit. And I,
18:56
Speaker 1: and I saw how it fucked him up. I don't
18:58
Speaker 1: want to say his name, but you were there too.
19:00
Speaker 1: And we were out and somebody was out with us
19:04
Speaker 1: and his ex-girlfriend was there. And we were like, let's
19:08
Speaker 1: bring her over. And he was like, please. No, no, no, no, no.
19:11
Speaker 1: Don't you dare do it. He knows who it is.
19:15
Speaker 1: But I've been lucky. Like, you've gone out and run
19:17
Speaker 1: into ex-girlfriends of mine with their new boyfriends a.
19:21
Speaker 2: Couple of times. Yeah, that's always so awkward when it's like, hey, you.
19:26
Speaker 5: Hey, you.
19:29
Speaker 2: But, I mean, I would never do what JD does
19:32
Speaker 2: in this. He allows himself to go sit in a
19:35
Speaker 2: diner booth with the woman he still clearly has feelings
19:39
Speaker 2: for and her new guy. And they're, like, making out
19:43
Speaker 2: at the diner booth. That sounds like fucking hell.
19:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then he bests JD also in the freaking... in.
19:49
Speaker 2: The he gives a beautiful toast and jd and jd
19:53
Speaker 2: wipes a tear away.
19:54
Speaker 1: Your father would say yeah right your father would have
19:56
Speaker 1: said to yours that's an f that's an f yeah.
20:00
Speaker 2: F job F job. Speaking of my father, he was
20:04
Speaker 2: very into public displays of, not affection in terms of
20:08
Speaker 2: physical affection, in terms of going around the table and
20:12
Speaker 2: all saying something nice. Like if it was someone's birthday,
20:14
Speaker 2: let's all go around and say what we love about Donald.
20:17
Speaker 2: And some people were like really shy when that happens.
20:20
Speaker 2: They're like, oh no. But my father loved like, well,
20:24
Speaker 2: I'll start. And he just loved going around the table,
20:27
Speaker 2: all saying things about people. And, uh, so yeah, in
20:30
Speaker 2: this scene, JD, uh, is so mad that, that, uh, that,
20:35
Speaker 2: that Ricky Schroeder's there. And he says something like, I'm
20:37
Speaker 2: going to say something that only people that know Turk
20:40
Speaker 2: and Carla for a long time would really understand, but
20:44
Speaker 2: you guys rock. You do, you do. And that's the
20:50
Speaker 2: extent of the speech. Yeah. And then, and then he,
20:53
Speaker 2: he gets up, he gets nurse, nurse flowers gets up
20:56
Speaker 2: and gives like a beautiful speech. And I just love
20:58
Speaker 2: how I, I surreptitiously swipe a tear.
21:03
Speaker 1: And then go, lame!
21:04
Speaker 2: I go, lame! And then I go, lame! And I go,
21:11
Speaker 2: this guy. Like, what an asshole.
21:15
Speaker 1: Great.
21:16
Speaker 2: He's really good, Ricky.
21:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude. He's freaking Rick Schroeder, dude. I mean, come on.
21:22
Speaker 2: Let's talk about golf, Donald, because at 214, you have
21:26
Speaker 2: quite a golf swing on the roof of the hospital,
21:28
Speaker 2: and this was before you had an interest in golf.
21:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, I brought that down. You're not very good at it. No,
21:36
Speaker 1: my golf swing is pretty shitty in this episode. It's bad.
21:41
Speaker 1: And yours is too. But, you know, I love golf now.
21:47
Speaker 2: You tell me to take a running start. As you say,
21:49
Speaker 2: I wrote it down, you said, A lot of the
21:51
Speaker 2: better pros take a running start.
21:55
Speaker 1: I think this is all from Happy Gilmore. I think
21:59
Speaker 1: all of our dialogue at this is from Happy Gilmore.
22:03
Speaker 1: And I'm doing the Carl Weathers dialogue from that movie.
22:09
Speaker 2: Oh, really?
22:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, so Carl Weathers in Happy Gilmore is.
22:13
Speaker 2: I never saw Happy Gilmore.
22:15
Speaker 1: It's a golf movie about a guy who's down on
22:18
Speaker 1: his luck.
22:18
Speaker 2: Danil just looked really upset by that.
22:22
Speaker 1: It's funny. It's such a good... Look, dude, Apatow. It's
22:26
Speaker 1: Apatow and Adam Sandler. So a lot of people don't
22:30
Speaker 1: know this. I know this just by luck. Just by luck.
22:34
Speaker 1: But Judd and Adam are best friends from college or
22:38
Speaker 1: some shit like that. And when Adam was coming up,
22:42
Speaker 1: he would be like, dude, check out my stuff. And
22:45
Speaker 1: he'd be like, oh, let me fix this for you
22:46
Speaker 1: or let me help you out here. Like he does
22:48
Speaker 1: with all of his protege. He does that with Seth.
22:51
Speaker 1: He does it with Jason. He does it with all
22:53
Speaker 1: of them. You know what I mean? He's one of
22:55
Speaker 1: those cats that you go to that kind of helps
22:57
Speaker 1: you along the way. He mentors people. He's a great mentor.
23:02
Speaker 1: And Adam and Judd, have a relationship that spans all
23:07
Speaker 1: the way back from when Adam was on MTV, from
23:10
Speaker 1: what I understand. Now, this is all somebody telling me
23:13
Speaker 1: this story. And so when Adam's making all these movies
23:16
Speaker 1: back in the day, he would bounce all of his
23:18
Speaker 1: ideas off of his best friend, Judd Apatow. If I'm wrong, Judd, Adam,
23:23
Speaker 1: please feel free to call in the fake doctors, real friends,
23:26
Speaker 1: and put me in my place. We would love it.
23:29
Speaker 2: Listen, you've said it, and you've said it on the
23:32
Speaker 2: internet now, so I think that makes it true.
23:36
Speaker 1: There it is.
23:39
Speaker 2: I'm looking it up right now. It all plays. They
23:41
Speaker 2: moved in. They were old roommates.
23:42
Speaker 3: Yeah.
23:44
Speaker 1: Wow.
23:45
Speaker 2: Now, Don, you were not into golf at all. And
23:47
Speaker 2: in fact, you say in this episode, like, damn it,
23:51
Speaker 2: you damn you, Tiger Woods. Why did I have to
23:53
Speaker 2: get into golf? But we have clubs and everything. Like,
23:57
Speaker 2: we have the gear. Why are we so bad?
24:01
Speaker 1: That's golf. That's how it is. That literally is how
24:04
Speaker 1: it is. Your first... I mean, you have to invest
24:08
Speaker 1: in yourself and in golf to get really good at it.
24:12
Speaker 1: There's no way that you can come into golf and
24:14
Speaker 1: just be a really good player. You know, it took
24:17
Speaker 1: me a year to break 100. And after I broke 100,
24:21
Speaker 1: people were like, you're now in the 10th percentile of
24:23
Speaker 1: golf players. And then from breaking 100 to breaking 90
24:29
Speaker 1: to breaking 80 to all of these things, it just
24:32
Speaker 1: gets smaller and smaller. There are very few people that
24:35
Speaker 1: are scratch golfers in the world.
24:38
Speaker 2: What are you hitting these days?
24:39
Speaker 1: So my handicap right now is 7.9. It was at
24:45
Speaker 1: one point. I got it all the way down to 6.6,
24:47
Speaker 1: which was really cool.
24:49
Speaker 2: How are you on when they put sort of the
24:52
Speaker 2: obstacle things, like if there's a windmill or a loop-de-loop,
24:55
Speaker 2: are you good at those?
24:56
Speaker 1: I don't ever play that stuff anymore. When I was
24:58
Speaker 1: a kid... That was a great first date, but I
25:00
Speaker 1: don't ever go anywhere.
25:01
Speaker 2: So you're saying, what you're telling me here, and this
25:03
Speaker 2: is probably a lot of, this is new information for
25:05
Speaker 2: a lot of people listening, is that when you get
25:06
Speaker 2: into the bigger golf courses, there are no loop-de-loops or windmills?
25:12
Speaker 1: No, there are no longer loop-de-loops and windmills. I'm with Zach.
25:16
Speaker 1: It sounds considerably less fun.
25:18
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yes. I mean, I used to love it when my,
25:21
Speaker 2: when my, when my ball would go in the hole
25:23
Speaker 2: and then you'd go into the tube and you'd be like,
25:25
Speaker 2: where's it going to come out?
25:26
Speaker 7: Oh shit.
25:26
Speaker 2: Where's the tube go? And then you'd be running down
25:28
Speaker 2: to look for where the tube came out. And then, Oh,
25:31
Speaker 2: are you telling me you're removing the most fun element
25:33
Speaker 2: of golf from the game? There's no secret tubes.
25:38
Speaker 1: Yeah.
25:38
Speaker 2: You know, in the last hole in mini golf, when
25:40
Speaker 2: you get like a free game, if you get it
25:42
Speaker 2: in the right hole, I once did that.
25:45
Speaker 4: Yeah.
25:46
Speaker 2: And it was thrilling. Bells went off.
25:50
Speaker 1: Did you keep score? Nice.
25:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't remember what I got, but it was
25:54
Speaker 2: probably a 7.9, I think, is what I got. Actually,
25:58
Speaker 2: I am recalling.
25:59
Speaker 5: It was a 7.85.
25:59
Speaker 2: By the way, you know what would be a good
26:05
Speaker 2: product for us to invent? It would be a full,
26:08
Speaker 2: huggable plastic suit that you can put on to hug
26:12
Speaker 2: people during COVID. It's like the Michelin Man outfit. It's
26:16
Speaker 2: got like inflatable aspects to it.
26:18
Speaker 1: It's like Marty McFly and Doc Brown in Back to
26:21
Speaker 1: the Future when they got the freaking nuclear... The hazmat
26:27
Speaker 1: suits on. We should make fake doctor real friends hug
26:31
Speaker 1: hazmat suits for all.
26:34
Speaker 2: Of the populace. And then we'll have to do a
26:35
Speaker 2: little disclaimer that's like, we are not responsible if you
26:37
Speaker 2: get COVID from using this thing and hugging people. Do
26:41
Speaker 2: you remember when... Do you remember when Dan came over
26:43
Speaker 2: to drop off the Funko Pop?
26:46
Speaker 1: And he was hazmatted out?
26:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what we're going to wear.
26:50
Speaker 1: I said it before and I'll say it again. Dan's
26:51
Speaker 1: a lot bigger than I thought he was. I thought
26:53
Speaker 1: Dan was going to be like 5'2.
26:54
Speaker 8: Yeah.
26:54
Speaker 1: He's like 6'1. Well, you've only seen Dan sitting. Very true.
27:06
Speaker 1: Dan looked like he could fuck somebody up. Dan looked
27:13
Speaker 1: like he could fuck somebody up. When I saw him,
27:15
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, Dan. Oh, shit. Wow, I'm honored
27:20
Speaker 1: by that.
27:21
Speaker 2: Should we take a break? What are we doing here?
27:24
Speaker 3: Probably.
27:26
Speaker 1: We're going to take a break. Let's get back into it.
27:37
Speaker 2: One of Bill's favorite lines he always quoted was, do
27:39
Speaker 2: not say splotchy. Good splotchy, Dr. Splotchy. When Ken comes
27:46
Speaker 2: in with his face all burnt.
27:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought he was amazing in this episode. This
27:52
Speaker 1: is a perfect example of a storyline in an episode
27:56
Speaker 1: where It's like the D storyline in the episode. And
28:00
Speaker 1: it's so funny that you laugh at it the whole
28:05
Speaker 1: way through. From the beginning where he's talking about how
28:08
Speaker 1: the coffee sucks in the hospital and he has to
28:10
Speaker 1: go to the freaking coffee box across the street to
28:14
Speaker 1: get it. to it's spilling on his face to hide Dr. Splotchy,
28:20
Speaker 1: that line, all the way to the shit that fucking
28:23
Speaker 1: Johnny says to him, dark roast and fucking like all
28:27
Speaker 1: of those things. This was one of the funny, I
28:29
Speaker 1: remember this storyline from when we recorded it, from when
28:32
Speaker 1: we shot it back in the day. And I always thought,
28:35
Speaker 1: if you're ever on a show and you have the
28:38
Speaker 1: opportunity to have something this funny and that least amount
28:41
Speaker 1: of work, Like, you know what I mean? Ken had
28:44
Speaker 1: to work maybe two days the whole episode, but his
28:47
Speaker 1: storyline is so funny and so good that it's memorable. It's,
28:52
Speaker 1: you know, it's a win, dude.
28:53
Speaker 8: Yeah.
28:53
Speaker 2: And everything, it's one of those things where it was
28:55
Speaker 2: the gift that kept on giving. Every time he showed up,
28:58
Speaker 2: there'd be another funny joke about it.
29:01
Speaker 6: Yeah.
29:02
Speaker 2: And what about this? How about my Seinfeld impersonation where
29:05
Speaker 2: I go, what's the deal with Q-tips? They're not Q's
29:08
Speaker 2: and they're not tips.
29:08
Speaker 8: Yeah.
29:10
Speaker 1: I loved it.
29:13
Speaker 2: I know it's meant to be a horrible joke, but
29:15
Speaker 2: why couldn't the writers have come up with an actual joke?
29:18
Speaker 2: This is just like nothing. You can come up with a.
29:24
Speaker 1: I'm confused. Are you trying to tell me that Seinfeld
29:27
Speaker 1: isn't funny?
29:28
Speaker 2: No, I love Seinfeld. I'm saying that this joke that's
29:33
Speaker 2: a fake Seinfeld joke doesn't even make any sense. What's
29:38
Speaker 2: the deal with Q-tips? They're not Qs and they're not tips.
29:40
Speaker 2: There are great Seinfeld one-liners, like one of my favorites.
29:43
Speaker 2: If the black box is the only thing that survives
29:46
Speaker 2: a plane crash, why don't they make the whole plane
29:48
Speaker 2: out of the black box?
29:50
Speaker 1: It's a great, great fucking joke, dude. Great joke. He
29:54
Speaker 1: has some of the best jokes that are, you know,
29:59
Speaker 1: it's like, He took the simplicity of what it means
30:04
Speaker 1: to tell a joke, and he does it so well.
30:07
Speaker 1: He's one of the, in my opinion, I love Jerry Seinfeld.
30:10
Speaker 1: I think he's one of the best comedians out there.
30:13
Speaker 2: Me too. I'm just saying, I didn't know why they
30:15
Speaker 2: just didn't come up with a real joke. I guess
30:18
Speaker 2: it's supposed to be so not funny, and then they
30:21
Speaker 2: cut to the patient going....
30:23
Speaker 1: Right. I love Jerry Seinfeld. I think he's amazing. I
30:27
Speaker 1: think Jerry Seinfeld, like, When I was a kid, Bill
30:30
Speaker 1: Cosby himself was one of the dopest stand-up jump things
30:36
Speaker 1: that I had ever seen. And my parents would let
30:38
Speaker 1: me watch it because Bill Cosby didn't curse, right? And
30:43
Speaker 1: I feel like Jerry Seinfeld is one of those people
30:45
Speaker 1: that I can put my... You want to learn the
30:49
Speaker 1: algorithm of how to tell a joke and how to
30:51
Speaker 1: make it funny? I would play that documentary that he
30:55
Speaker 1: had back in the day. What was it? Comedian? Was
30:57
Speaker 1: that what it was called? where he starts off doing,
31:01
Speaker 1: it's the anatomy of how he builds a set. And
31:05
Speaker 1: it's one of the greatest.
31:06
Speaker 2: Well, I think that that one was, that's when he
31:09
Speaker 2: like went back and like said, I'm going to do
31:11
Speaker 2: all new material.
31:12
Speaker 4: Yeah.
31:12
Speaker 1: I'm going to start.
31:13
Speaker 2: They did a, they did a documentary that followed him
31:16
Speaker 2: and other comics, but.
31:18
Speaker 1: And Chris rocks in it. Like a bunch of.
31:21
Speaker 2: Comics will always use some of their go-to jokes forever.
31:24
Speaker 2: Whereas he was like, no, I'm going to throw out
31:26
Speaker 2: everything I've ever done, and I'm going to start from scratch,
31:28
Speaker 2: which was pretty cool. I like that documentary. Yeah, it
31:31
Speaker 2: is called Comedian.
31:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, such a great storyteller he is. And I took
31:37
Speaker 1: offense just now when you said they were trying to
31:39
Speaker 1: make a bad joke, like as if Seinfeld told bad jokes.
31:43
Speaker 1: He tells great jokes.
31:45
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I hope I didn't offend you, Donald.
31:49
Speaker 1: No, I'm telling you right now, I took offense. I
31:53
Speaker 1: took offense.
31:53
Speaker 5: Okay.
31:54
Speaker 1: For him. For this New York native. For the dude
31:57
Speaker 1: whose show is based on the building I grew up in.
32:00
Speaker 1: I took offense.
32:02
Speaker 4: Okay.
32:03
Speaker 2: Do you watch Cars and Coffee with comedians?
32:07
Speaker 1: I don't watch any of his work. I just took offense.
32:09
Speaker 1: I'm just saying. Oh, my God.
32:11
Speaker 2: I would like the record to reflect that Donald has
32:13
Speaker 2: never seen an episode of Seinfeld. He's never seen an
32:16
Speaker 2: episode of drinking coffee with comedians in Cars.
32:21
Speaker 1: I have seen episodes of Seinfeld. I have seen several
32:25
Speaker 1: episodes of Seinfeld.
32:26
Speaker 2: I told someone the other night that you had only
32:28
Speaker 2: seen the finale of Breaking Bad. And they were like,
32:34
Speaker 2: they had to like sit down. They were so upset
32:36
Speaker 2: by this. They were like, who would do that?
32:40
Speaker 6: I did.
32:41
Speaker 1: I did. My wife was like, my wife binged the
32:44
Speaker 1: whole shit. She binged all of it. And I wouldn't
32:47
Speaker 1: watch any of it. She was like, you got to
32:49
Speaker 1: watch this show. It's so good. And she was doing
32:52
Speaker 1: it so she could be on time for the finale,
32:55
Speaker 1: for the last season. So she watched everything within like
33:00
Speaker 1: a six-month span. She watched every episode of Breaking Bad
33:04
Speaker 1: just so she could watch the last season, right? I
33:07
Speaker 1: didn't watch any of it. I didn't watch any of it.
33:09
Speaker 1: I would walk into the room and I would see
33:11
Speaker 1: shit and I'd be like, that's overacting. Oh my God,
33:13
Speaker 1: he's overacting. And I would clown... I would clown certain spots,
33:19
Speaker 1: knowing that, look, when you watch a show in its entirety,
33:24
Speaker 1: there's a reason why certain things are done. But when
33:26
Speaker 1: you just see little specific moments in it, you're lost, one.
33:33
Speaker 1: And two, you don't get what's going on, and so
33:36
Speaker 1: therefore you're very judgmental.
33:39
Speaker 2: I had a very bizarre.
33:40
Speaker 1: That being said, that last episode is one of the best...
33:45
Speaker 1: things I've ever seen on television. And I've never watched
33:47
Speaker 1: one episode of Breaking Bad in my life.
33:49
Speaker 2: That last episode- The disconnect I have in my brain,
33:52
Speaker 2: and I'm sure every person who has at least one
33:56
Speaker 2: ear listening to this is thinking, then why would you
33:59
Speaker 2: not go back and watch the show many people think
34:02
Speaker 2: is one of the greatest of our lifetime?
34:05
Speaker 1: Because I saw the end. I know how it ends.
34:07
Speaker 1: It's a waste of time to go back and see
34:08
Speaker 1: all that shit. Oh my God.
34:09
Speaker 2: Oh my God. All right, listen. I watched the finale
34:14
Speaker 2: of Breaking Bad at Kate Hudson's house. She had a
34:18
Speaker 2: soiree where they were going to do a viewing party
34:23
Speaker 2: of the last episode. Now, in hindsight, I don't know
34:26
Speaker 2: why I went to this. If you love the show,
34:27
Speaker 2: you kind of just want to be like on your
34:29
Speaker 2: couch focusing. But I thought it sounded fun. Now, you
34:33
Speaker 2: know the guy who plays, Donald won't know, but you
34:36
Speaker 2: guys know the guy who played Hank, the bald cop, right?
34:40
Speaker 2: Wasn't his name Hank? I think so.
34:42
Speaker 1: Hold on. His neighbor.
34:44
Speaker 2: His neighbor and best friend, yes. What's that actor's name? Anyway,
34:48
Speaker 2: the point is.
34:48
Speaker 1: Isn't it Dean something?
34:49
Speaker 2: Thank you. It's by Dean Norris. Yeah, Dean Norris. All right,
34:53
Speaker 2: so Dean Norris is a wonderful actor. With his head shaved,
34:57
Speaker 2: he looks a lot like Bruce Willis. If you've ever
35:00
Speaker 2: seen them next to each other, they could easily be brothers.
35:05
Speaker 2: So I get to Kate Hudson's house and they've got
35:10
Speaker 2: TVs set up You know, it's a party. There's multiple
35:13
Speaker 2: places within her house to watch the show. I want
35:16
Speaker 2: to pick a good location, so I find a good spot.
35:21
Speaker 2: And I look over and then seated on the couch
35:24
Speaker 2: next to me is Dean Norris. And sitting next to
35:28
Speaker 2: Dean Norris is Bruce Willis. And there's not much more
35:36
Speaker 2: to the story other than it was really weird because they...
35:41
Speaker 2: They didn't know each other. It was clear they didn't
35:43
Speaker 2: know each other and they had just met. It was
35:45
Speaker 2: clear that they really, really look a lot alike. And
35:49
Speaker 2: then there we were watching this elaborate finale with Dean
35:53
Speaker 2: Norris sitting right there. It was very trippy. I wish
35:57
Speaker 2: the story had more of a flourish ending. And then
35:58
Speaker 2: I wrestled them both to the ground and tickled them.
36:04
Speaker 1: Kate throws some dope parties, man. I've been to two
36:07
Speaker 1: parties at Kate Hudson's house, thanks to you. And both
36:11
Speaker 1: times I was like, holy shit, Leo's here? Best party
36:17
Speaker 1: of my life.
36:19
Speaker 2: It's funny that you would bring up, of all actors, Leo.
36:24
Speaker 5: Are you surprised?
36:26
Speaker 2: I just wonder that of all actors that are in
36:28
Speaker 2: the Screen Actors Guild, you decided to bring up one
36:31
Speaker 2: actor specifically.
36:34
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I love Leonardo DiCaprio. It's just how
36:38
Speaker 1: it goes. He's my favorite actor of my generation.
36:44
Speaker 2: You know, a lot of the fans are clamoring for
36:47
Speaker 2: merch that says, I dock with Leo. And I think
36:50
Speaker 2: that's a great idea.
36:51
Speaker 1: I'll call him if I could. I would call him
36:55
Speaker 1: and I'd get him to sign off on it. I
36:57
Speaker 1: know a lot of people, look, we used to be friends.
37:00
Speaker 1: We're not, we don't talk much anymore unless we see
37:03
Speaker 1: each other, but I would hit him up if I
37:05
Speaker 1: could and say, Leo, I want to put out a
37:07
Speaker 1: shirt or some merch that says, a mug that says,
37:12
Speaker 1: I would dock Leo.
37:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd wear a tank top that says, I'd dock Leo.
37:21
Speaker 2: For fuck's sake, just stop talking about your willies. All right. Sorry, Jed. Sorry.
37:27
Speaker 1: All right. Let's get back to the show. Who knew
37:30
Speaker 1: that Carla was scared of toilet snakes?
37:33
Speaker 2: Yes. Carla is afraid of a snake crawling out of
37:37
Speaker 2: the toilet.
37:38
Speaker 1: Have you seen the video of the dude who went
37:42
Speaker 1: to the bathroom and had to jump off the fucking
37:44
Speaker 1: toilet because there was a snake coming out of it?
37:46
Speaker 4: No.
37:47
Speaker 5: Go on.
37:47
Speaker 1: You haven't seen this?
37:49
Speaker 8: No.
37:50
Speaker 1: Somewhere in Florida, of course.
37:52
Speaker 2: Of course. Of course.
37:55
Speaker 1: There is a man who was sitting on the toilet
37:57
Speaker 1: and he jumped off the toilet because there is a
38:00
Speaker 1: snake literally coming out of the toilet. Which means it's
38:06
Speaker 1: like a water moccasin or some shit like that that
38:09
Speaker 1: could really fucking do damage. I mean, I don't know
38:14
Speaker 1: any other serpents that fucking swim. Like, I guess a
38:18
Speaker 1: There's an anaconda. An anaconda swims. But it didn't look
38:22
Speaker 1: like an anaconda.
38:23
Speaker 2: You're saying it came out of the toilet, like up
38:26
Speaker 2: the sewage?
38:28
Speaker 1: Up the sewage, and it's coming out of this dude's toilet.
38:31
Speaker 1: Look it up. Look it up.
38:33
Speaker 2: I will. I mean, a little tickle. If it was
38:35
Speaker 2: just a little tongue lick, it might feel nice. Just
38:42
Speaker 2: a little tickle.
38:42
Speaker 1: Who doesn't like a tongue lick? But I'm thinking it's
38:45
Speaker 1: some type of poisonous serpent or some shit like that
38:47
Speaker 1: that will bite you.
38:50
Speaker 2: How about Elliot calling herself four-date Reed, which means she
38:54
Speaker 2: waits until the fourth date to have sex with everyone?
38:58
Speaker 1: How about Elliot admitting the fact that she's crazy? She
39:01
Speaker 1: says to Carla, Carla, you know that I'm crazy, right?
39:04
Speaker 1: And she goes, yeah. She goes, I'm having a hard
39:07
Speaker 1: time hiding it from Nurse Flowers.
39:09
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, later in the episode, she has a really
39:12
Speaker 2: funny monologue about... That she just did a great, it
39:15
Speaker 2: was written very well. It was funny, but she, she
39:17
Speaker 2: just delivered it really funny about how fucking nuts she is.
39:21
Speaker 2: And then, and then she's just, just finally, finally, finally,
39:24
Speaker 2: she says to Rick Schroeder, like, you want to know,
39:26
Speaker 2: this is why I'm hiding. And he just lets all
39:29
Speaker 2: her fucking. crazy loose and it's really really funny and
39:31
Speaker 2: then Rick Schroeder's like I'm so turned on right now
39:34
Speaker 2: and then they go and like furiously make out.
39:37
Speaker 1: That was funny do you know why he's so turned
39:39
Speaker 1: on why because crazy because crazy is good it gets
39:45
Speaker 1: old quick but it's good in the beginning You can
39:49
Speaker 1: find yourself somebody crazy in the beginning. You're like, holy shit,
39:53
Speaker 1: we were doing so many crazy things.
39:55
Speaker 2: Oh, you mean crazy sexually or do you mean crazy,
39:58
Speaker 2: like a crazy person? You mean crazy in bed?
40:00
Speaker 1: I mean crazy sexually. So what happens is crazy person
40:04
Speaker 1: usually means crazy sexually. And so from crazy sexually, you're like,
40:09
Speaker 1: holy shit, look at all the things we're doing. But
40:11
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Crazy gets old real quick because at
40:15
Speaker 1: some point you're like, yo, this person's fucking crazy.
40:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also, don't you worry sometimes if someone's too
40:21
Speaker 2: nuts in bed that you're a little like, Jesus, they've
40:24
Speaker 2: got 10,000 hours.
40:26
Speaker 1: Who gives a fuck? Who cares? They're with you at
40:28
Speaker 1: that moment. Who cares? Who cares? Dude, who the fuck
40:32
Speaker 1: cares what happened before you and what's going to happen
40:35
Speaker 1: after you? This was something I was hung up on
40:37
Speaker 1: for so long. Oh my God, she's too experienced. Or,
40:40
Speaker 1: oh my God, she's not experienced enough. Fuck that shit.
40:44
Speaker 1: When you're with someone, you're with someone. And that's your
40:46
Speaker 1: moment together. What happens before and after is irrelevant, dude.
40:51
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with you, so why worry
40:54
Speaker 1: about it?
40:54
Speaker 2: All right. Well, I think that's good advice for people.
40:58
Speaker 2: I'm sure there's other people out there who's crossed their
41:00
Speaker 2: mind when their partner all of a sudden is doing
41:04
Speaker 2: some position that not even the Kama Sutra had time
41:08
Speaker 2: to draw, but they're like, where did this come from?
41:12
Speaker 1: That's your own hang-up. Honest to goodness, that's your own hang-up.
41:15
Speaker 1: If what I do... is too advanced for you and
41:20
Speaker 1: you're not having a good time, then you know what?
41:22
Speaker 1: We shouldn't be together and vice versa.
41:24
Speaker 2: Your love, your love might be too much for me.
41:26
Speaker 2: It might be like a double black diamond sex and
41:29
Speaker 2: I'm just ready for, for blue square.
41:33
Speaker 1: Is there such thing as a blue square?
41:35
Speaker 2: Is that, is that, yeah, it goes green. It goes
41:37
Speaker 2: green circle, blue square, black diamond, double black diamond.
41:42
Speaker 1: Got it.
41:43
Speaker 2: And I, I, I'm just saying, you know, you might be,
41:47
Speaker 2: a blue square, um, person in bed. And then all
41:51
Speaker 2: of a sudden you're in bed with a double black
41:53
Speaker 2: diamond person. You're like, Oh shit, this is scary. These
41:57
Speaker 2: moguls are hard. I don't know how to keep this metaphor.
42:03
Speaker 1: Listen, did someone die? As long as you don't die,
42:07
Speaker 1: it's all good. Right? If you survive a double black diamond,
42:10
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm gonna do that double black diamond again. Right.
42:13
Speaker 2: As long as you don't die.
42:15
Speaker 4: Right.
42:15
Speaker 1: As long as you survive.
42:17
Speaker 2: Donald, why did golf clubs need socks? I've been dying
42:21
Speaker 2: to know this my whole life. Why do you have
42:23
Speaker 2: to put little booties on them? They get cold.
42:27
Speaker 1: No, it's just that dents and things like that happen
42:31
Speaker 1: to clubs and scratches happen to clubs. And, you know,
42:35
Speaker 1: it's all about what you see when you look down
42:37
Speaker 1: at the ball and the club. So. If there's a
42:41
Speaker 1: dent or a scratch on your club, it might throw
42:44
Speaker 1: your alignment off. When I first started playing golf, I
42:49
Speaker 1: didn't understand why all these people had socks on their clubs.
42:53
Speaker 1: But it's actually to keep the shit looking so much...
42:58
Speaker 1: You're used to a certain picture when you're playing golf
43:01
Speaker 1: and you're looking down at a golf ball and your
43:03
Speaker 1: driver or your three-wood or your hybrid club, you're used
43:08
Speaker 1: to a certain picture. If there's a scratch on it,
43:10
Speaker 1: that might throw off your swing. If there's a dent
43:14
Speaker 1: in it, that might throw off your swing. So it's
43:16
Speaker 1: important to take care of your clubs. When I first
43:20
Speaker 1: started playing golf, I was like, that's bullshit until it
43:23
Speaker 1: happens to you. And then you're like, oh, okay, I
43:27
Speaker 1: get it now.
43:27
Speaker 2: But Donald, excuse me for not knowing this is true,
43:30
Speaker 2: but it seems to me only certain clubs get little
43:34
Speaker 2: dinky cozy socks. Not all the clubs get them.
43:37
Speaker 1: Right, because there are certain... Like your irons usually can
43:40
Speaker 1: handle clinking against each other. Your woods.
43:45
Speaker 2: Your one wood. Your one wood.
43:47
Speaker 1: Well, that's more like a driver. Your one wood is
43:49
Speaker 1: a driver. But like your drivers and your woods, if
43:53
Speaker 1: they get a dent on them, they're not as effective
43:56
Speaker 1: as they would be if they were in good condition.
43:59
Speaker 1: So you want to keep those... in pristine shape you
44:03
Speaker 1: want to keep all your clubs if you paid a
44:05
Speaker 1: thousand like them things ain't cheap like usually you pay
44:08
Speaker 1: like a thousand dollars for clubs upward of a thousand
44:11
Speaker 1: dollars for clubs and so you want to maintain that
44:14
Speaker 1: investment you want to you want.
44:16
Speaker 2: To keep that all of your clubs or one club.
44:19
Speaker 1: For all of your clubs so like you go from
44:21
Speaker 1: putter putter to driver you're spending upwards of a thousand
44:26
Speaker 1: dollars usually there are some people there are some manufacturers
44:30
Speaker 1: that make clubs that are like, I'm, I'm, I'm very lucky. I,
44:33
Speaker 1: I am down with PXG and that's like the ultimate
44:37
Speaker 1: club in golf. In my opinion, uh, they are the
44:43
Speaker 1: dopest of the dopest. And because of that, you damn right. I,
44:48
Speaker 1: I protect that shit. I protect my driver. I protect
44:52
Speaker 1: my three wood. I protect my hybrids. I protect that.
44:55
Speaker 2: Or you might want to change where you're playing because
44:58
Speaker 2: where I play, they give you, a club and you
45:02
Speaker 2: don't have to take care of it. You just pick one.
45:03
Speaker 2: That's the right size for you.
45:06
Speaker 1: And you, you, you also play where they got windmills.
45:09
Speaker 1: You also play where they got windmills.
45:11
Speaker 2: And freaking, there's no extra charge for the windmill. There's
45:14
Speaker 2: no extra charge for the windmill.
45:15
Speaker 1: And there are snacks.
45:18
Speaker 4: Right.
45:18
Speaker 1: But there's snacks. There's snacks at real golf courses.
45:22
Speaker 2: We got to call it.
45:22
Speaker 1: We got to go to break. Let's go to break.
45:23
Speaker 1: Let's go to break.
45:25
Speaker 2: We gotta, we gotta be right back after this break.
45:31
Speaker 7: And we're back hi there ladies and gentlemen please welcome
45:44
Speaker 7: to the show we have nicholas.
45:51
Speaker 2: Hi nicholas hey how are y'all doing how are you
45:56
Speaker 2: good to see you sir welcome.
45:58
Speaker 1: I am loving your COVID beard and hair.
46:01
Speaker 5: Thank you. Thank you.
46:02
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's getting longer and longer. The beard I have
46:05
Speaker 8: to keep. My wife said she'll leave me if I
46:06
Speaker 8: ever get rid of it.
46:09
Speaker 1: You must look like a baby without it. I do.
46:15
Speaker 2: I'm nervous.
46:16
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry.
46:17
Speaker 2: Don't be nervous.
46:18
Speaker 1: Don't be nervous.
46:20
Speaker 2: You're just sitting around talking with a couple friends. You
46:23
Speaker 2: got Joelle and Daniel here. That's Donald.
46:27
Speaker 1: Why are you sleep deprived? What is going on? What's
46:29
Speaker 1: going on? Are those action figures in your background or no?
46:34
Speaker 8: Yeah, some of them are. There's Godzilla. There's a dog.
46:37
Speaker 8: I got him on some travels. And then there's just
46:39
Speaker 8: a bunch of mess. My wife and I are both teachers.
46:41
Speaker 8: So this is our teacher show. We're teaching from home.
46:43
Speaker 8: And so we have to switch in and out to
46:47
Speaker 8: teach right now because we're all doing virtual.
46:49
Speaker 5: I'll show you the reason I'm sleep deprived.
46:50
Speaker 1: Let's see if he's... Oh, here comes the baby, y'all.
46:56
Speaker 2: It's going to be a baby, y'all. It's going to
46:57
Speaker 2: be a baby, y'all. Or a puppy.
46:59
Speaker 1: It better be a baby. It better not be a baby. Hey, Morgan.
47:04
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Morgan and the baby.
47:09
Speaker 1: You guys are those precious baby angels. Hello, cutie. Oh,
47:13
Speaker 1: my gosh.
47:13
Speaker 5: He's so cute. He's Liam. He's our angel.
47:19
Speaker 8: He's a little going back on sleep regression right now,
47:21
Speaker 8: so we're trying to see if we can get him
47:23
Speaker 8: back to sleep at some point.
47:25
Speaker 5: So he's been staying up a lot of nights and stuff. Well, congratulations.
47:29
Speaker 2: That's very exciting.
47:30
Speaker 5: Thank you very much. Yeah, it's just been an exciting
47:32
Speaker 5: week overall, so I'm super happy. Can I do one
47:36
Speaker 5: thing right now?
47:37
Speaker 2: Anything you want.
47:38
Speaker 6: Yes.
47:39
Speaker 1: Well, he knocked over the chair, first of all. Are
47:41
Speaker 1: you okay?
47:43
Speaker 2: I fell over.
47:43
Speaker 1: Are you okay, dude?
47:45
Speaker 2: Nicholas may or may not be happy.
47:46
Speaker 5: No one can see me.
47:47
Speaker 1: Nicholas, don't die, dude. Don't die, dude.
47:50
Speaker 5: I told you I was nervous.
47:52
Speaker 2: Don't be nervous. Okay.
47:54
Speaker 5: You guys know how you do it with a whiteboard.
47:57
Speaker 5: And then I wrote, the day after that, I wrote, one,
48:00
Speaker 5: ask a question on Fake Doctor's Real Friend.
48:03
Speaker 1: And it happened.
48:04
Speaker 2: And it happened. Thunders applause. Thunders applause, Dan. Turn your
48:08
Speaker 2: key down. Turn your key.
48:09
Speaker 1: Turn your key. Turn your key.
48:10
Speaker 2: I turned my key. I turned my key. Nicholas has
48:12
Speaker 2: held up a whiteboard. And it says goals at the
48:15
Speaker 2: top because we did a segment talking about whiteboards and
48:18
Speaker 2: writing down your goals. And the very first thing on
48:21
Speaker 2: his goal list is ask a question on Fake Doctors,
48:24
Speaker 2: Real Friends. And it is beautifully crossed out.
48:27
Speaker 1: And then after that, it's win a dance battle. Dude,
48:32
Speaker 1: we can make that happen today too.
48:34
Speaker 2: Yeah.
48:35
Speaker 1: But you better know how to dance.
48:37
Speaker 4: Okay.
48:37
Speaker 5: It's done.
48:38
Speaker 3: It's done.
48:40
Speaker 5: I'm not going to win that one right now.
48:43
Speaker 2: Well, I'm really happy for you, man. And we joke
48:45
Speaker 2: around 99% of the time here, but I really believe
48:49
Speaker 2: in this stuff. I really believe in writing your goals
48:52
Speaker 2: down and manifesting things and looking at it every single day.
48:55
Speaker 2: And I've seen a handful of people out there who've
48:58
Speaker 2: sent me sort of jokey, or maybe they're not joking,
49:01
Speaker 2: screenshots of the whiteboard they got. And I really am
49:05
Speaker 2: a big fan of it. I think looking at something
49:08
Speaker 2: every day, even if it's going in your brain subconsciously
49:11
Speaker 2: and going, God, what have I done today to further
49:14
Speaker 2: that goal? I think that it's very, very effective. So listen, Nicholas,
49:18
Speaker 2: you're walking proof. It worked. Here you are on the show.
49:22
Speaker 5: I know. It's so exciting. Yeah, I totally believe it.
49:25
Speaker 5: I told my students that.
49:28
Speaker 8: I try to put a lot of positivity in the world,
49:29
Speaker 8: and I try to do positive stuff. And so I
49:32
Speaker 8: just also try to think positive thoughts. So I'm like,
49:34
Speaker 8: if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but I'm going
49:36
Speaker 8: to keep on trying. And so, yeah, I've sent Joel
49:39
Speaker 8: a few emails and this is the one that got picked.
49:42
Speaker 8: So I was like, hey, it worked, it worked.
49:44
Speaker 5: So I'm super excited.
49:45
Speaker 2: Good, good. Well, you made me happy. You made me happy.
49:48
Speaker 2: I just, the fact that we can make a minuscule
49:50
Speaker 2: difference in your life in any way makes us happy.
49:52
Speaker 1: All right, wait, hold up. I have a random question
49:55
Speaker 1: for Nicholas.
49:56
Speaker 4: Yeah.
49:57
Speaker 1: Have you ever watched Eight is Enough?
50:00
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a long time ago, but I've seen it.
50:02
Speaker 1: Do you remember Nicholas from Eight is Enough?
50:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was so cute.
50:07
Speaker 5: He's still cute, but yeah.
50:09
Speaker 2: He had the bowl haircut.
50:10
Speaker 1: The bowl haircut. He was like Joey Lawrence. Joey Lawrence
50:14
Speaker 1: was Joey and everything. I feel like Nicholas was Nicholas
50:17
Speaker 1: and everything. This is just a non sequitur moment. A
50:20
Speaker 1: non sequitur moment for me.
50:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Joey Lawrence really always played Joey. And I
50:26
Speaker 2: always wondered why. Does he have it in his contract
50:28
Speaker 2: that the character is going to be named Joey? The
50:30
Speaker 2: guy never played anyone not named Joey.
50:32
Speaker 8: Apparently he did that too tony was always tony in
50:35
Speaker 8: almost every show that he ever did.
50:37
Speaker 1: Even on taxi yeah.
50:39
Speaker 8: Taxi then it was tony uh and who's the boss
50:42
Speaker 8: and then he was tony he just came out with
50:44
Speaker 8: another netflix show a little while ago he was always
50:46
Speaker 8: tony in every show all right.
50:47
Speaker 2: Nicholas do you have a question for uh for any
50:50
Speaker 2: of us it could be about any topic in the world.
50:54
Speaker 5: I have a question, and then I also have a
50:56
Speaker 5: fix it for your favorite segment.
50:59
Speaker 2: Don't worry.
50:59
Speaker 1: We're excited to fix your life. We're going to fix
51:01
Speaker 1: your life.
51:02
Speaker 2: We can fix anything.
51:03
Speaker 1: You got a new baby, a beautiful wife. We're going
51:06
Speaker 1: to fix your life.
51:07
Speaker 2: This new segment, a lot of new segments hitting the show, Donald.
51:13
Speaker 2: But fix it, I think, is the world's favorite. Everyone
51:15
Speaker 2: is clamoring about all the fixing we're doing.
51:18
Speaker 1: They want me to fix their life, and they want
51:20
Speaker 1: you to fix their life.
51:21
Speaker 2: Well, we're going to do it. All right, Nicholas, question first.
51:23
Speaker 2: Go ahead.
51:23
Speaker 4: Okay.
51:24
Speaker 5: Question first, and this is one that was really hit home.
51:27
Speaker 8: I was trying to think of a lot of shows
51:29
Speaker 8: before y'all's that had like two male characters that were
51:32
Speaker 8: very open with their emotions and so loving. And I remember,
51:36
Speaker 8: like I had a roommate, we lived together forever. We like,
51:39
Speaker 8: that was what we did. We were just very open
51:41
Speaker 8: and loving. loving I remember we it wasn't just like
51:44
Speaker 8: toxic masculinity where you had to be you know rah
51:46
Speaker 8: rah rah all the time and it was just like
51:48
Speaker 8: I really thought like Scrubs spoke to me and I
51:51
Speaker 8: think the more I watched it the more seeing y'all's
51:53
Speaker 8: friendship it was for me it was a way to
51:55
Speaker 8: just kind of be like oh I can be open
51:57
Speaker 8: with my feelings and I can say I love you
51:59
Speaker 8: and even now like as you know growing up and
52:01
Speaker 8: raising my son that's something I want too I want
52:04
Speaker 8: this openness and I don't like you guys have talked
52:06
Speaker 8: about it a lot but even in the first season
52:10
Speaker 8: it was very there was very a lot more Even
52:13
Speaker 8: before y'all had built a lot of chemistry and stuff
52:15
Speaker 8: outside of the show. So I didn't know, like, did
52:17
Speaker 8: Bill bring that in or did he just build off
52:20
Speaker 8: because y'all just instantly connected?
52:21
Speaker 5: Like, how did that happen?
52:24
Speaker 1: I don't know how that happened. That's a good question because.
52:27
Speaker 2: I think it was both of us, two things happening simultaneously.
52:31
Speaker 2: It was my and Donald's friendship really growing and becoming
52:35
Speaker 2: really true best friends in real life. And then we
52:38
Speaker 2: were so like that. that I think that he started
52:43
Speaker 2: to lean it even more in that direction.
52:45
Speaker 1: I feel like it was always... JD and Turk were
52:51
Speaker 1: always meant to be the relationship that every guy wishes
52:56
Speaker 1: they could have with another male. But Zack and I,
53:01
Speaker 1: we became that relationship And then it was like, well,
53:10
Speaker 1: then I know, let's go even further with it. You
53:13
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I don't know how that happened.
53:16
Speaker 1: That's a great question because it started off that way
53:22
Speaker 1: and then we just ate it up and took it
53:26
Speaker 1: to the next level, I guess.
53:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think if you look at the pilot,
53:29
Speaker 2: there's not a whole lot of like commentary on masculinity.
53:33
Speaker 2: I mean, my character's a little nerdy, but it's more
53:35
Speaker 2: about like, about me and Donald being best bros. And
53:39
Speaker 2: there's stuff about like race. There's stuff about like, Hey,
53:42
Speaker 2: if there's a rap song and the N words in there,
53:44
Speaker 2: am I allowed to sing it? And he's like, no.
53:46
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay, good. I needed to know that.
53:47
Speaker 2: Thank you very much. So there's, I think Bill wanted
53:50
Speaker 2: to like talk about two close friends who were, who, um,
53:55
Speaker 2: who were best buds and, and, and race barely even
53:57
Speaker 2: came into the equation. But I think this sort of,
54:00
Speaker 2: commentary we started doing on what is traditional masculinity sort
54:04
Speaker 2: of developed over time with me and Donald's relationship.
54:09
Speaker 8: I really liked it. I mean, it was very freeing,
54:11
Speaker 8: I guess. And I couldn't think of any other show
54:13
Speaker 8: before y'all's that had that type of relationship. It was,
54:16
Speaker 8: you know, you think of all these ones and it's
54:18
Speaker 8: just two dudes hanging out, drinking beer, stuff along those lines.
54:20
Speaker 8: But this was, this felt very like an authentic friendship.
54:23
Speaker 8: And I mean, it was, but it was just, it
54:25
Speaker 8: was very, I really enjoyed that.
54:27
Speaker 5: So thank you for that.
54:28
Speaker 1: Nicholas, I agree with you on that. because on television
54:32
Speaker 1: you don't see it, but in real life, that is
54:34
Speaker 1: how guys are. You know what I mean? I remember
54:37
Speaker 1: my best friend in high school, he's also an actor now.
54:41
Speaker 1: My best friend in high school was Dash Myhock, right?
54:43
Speaker 1: Him and this other kid, Kevin Jordan. But Dash Myhock,
54:47
Speaker 1: who is now on Ray Donovan and has been in
54:50
Speaker 1: several movies and stuff like that, he and I were
54:53
Speaker 1: best friends in high school. And we both moved to
54:57
Speaker 1: Los Angeles at the same time and I remember one
55:01
Speaker 1: time seeing him and his roommate, who just happened to
55:04
Speaker 1: be Josh Hopkins, who was on one of Bill's shows.
55:08
Speaker 2: Cougar Town.
55:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, Cougar Town. And I saw them act the way
55:13
Speaker 1: Zach and I act towards each other. And it was like, oh,
55:19
Speaker 1: Zach and I aren't, you know, we're not, obviously we're
55:23
Speaker 1: one of a kind because we're who we are, but
55:26
Speaker 1: this relationship is out there. There are plenty of people
55:29
Speaker 1: out there that are like Turk and JD, that are
55:32
Speaker 1: like Zach and Donald. Now, I hate to talk about
55:35
Speaker 1: myself in the third person. I apologize for that.
55:37
Speaker 2: I love it.
55:38
Speaker 1: But there are a bunch of people out there that
55:40
Speaker 1: are like that. It's just not portrayed on television in
55:44
Speaker 1: a positive way that Zach and I were able to
55:47
Speaker 1: portray Turk and JD. You know what I mean?
55:49
Speaker 5: Yeah.
55:52
Speaker 2: But I really like that you said that that's going to...
55:54
Speaker 2: I don't mean to imply that it was... from watching us,
55:58
Speaker 2: but the way you talked about wanting to raise your son,
56:00
Speaker 2: you know, not programming him to be filled with the
56:04
Speaker 2: same bullshit that a lot of us were, were, were, were.
56:06
Speaker 1: Programmed with, right? Yeah, absolutely.
56:09
Speaker 5: It's like the same, like I, I didn't drink beer
56:11
Speaker 5: until I was 26.
56:12
Speaker 8: I was always drinking appletinis and I was drinking, you know, these,
56:16
Speaker 8: and like everybody gave me a hard time for it,
56:17
Speaker 8: but I was like, well, yeah, That's doing it like
56:19
Speaker 8: I can do it. Like it just, it was very
56:21
Speaker 8: free and I loved it. And I was just, I
56:24
Speaker 8: don't know. I really did appreciate that, especially growing up.
56:26
Speaker 8: Cause it meant I could be more open with the
56:28
Speaker 8: people around me and stuff. And now, you know, you're
56:30
Speaker 8: older and you're set in your ways and you're like, yeah,
56:33
Speaker 8: this is just who I am.
56:34
Speaker 4: I'm okay.
56:34
Speaker 5: But when you're younger, it's kind of hard to, to
56:36
Speaker 5: be as open.
56:37
Speaker 1: As, as I think.
56:39
Speaker 5: Yeah.
56:39
Speaker 1: Cause you're judged, you're judged and, and other people's judgment
56:43
Speaker 1: has an effect on you, which it shouldn't. You know
56:46
Speaker 1: what I mean? And when you become an adult and
56:50
Speaker 1: you realize that, you know, everybody else is dealing with
56:53
Speaker 1: their own shit and you need to deal with your own,
56:55
Speaker 1: who gives a fuck what everybody thinks about you?
56:57
Speaker 2: It really warms my heart, though. I got to tell you,
56:59
Speaker 2: when you say something like that, the show in some
57:02
Speaker 2: way inspired you to be more who you truly are,
57:05
Speaker 2: whatever that is. I mean, I think that's what we're
57:07
Speaker 2: all striving for is to be in relationships that allow
57:12
Speaker 2: us to be who we truly are. And, you know,
57:15
Speaker 2: we were just at the time making a comedy, but
57:17
Speaker 2: then we did kind of tiptoe into something cultural about
57:21
Speaker 2: masculinity and talking about what is acceptable in our society.
57:26
Speaker 2: And this was 20 years ago. As we all know,
57:28
Speaker 2: we're still battling a lot of these issues, you know,
57:32
Speaker 2: in 2020.
57:33
Speaker 1: That's crazy. All right.
57:33
Speaker 2: Now, how can we fix your life? Because that's what
57:36
Speaker 2: we're really good at. That's where our specialty is.
57:39
Speaker 1: Nicholas, I'm going to fix your life right now.
57:44
Speaker 5: Well, you're the one I'm going to ask for. Number five.
57:47
Speaker 5: It says sleep more.
57:49
Speaker 8: Baby boy is going through a sleep regression right now.
57:52
Speaker 8: And I wanted to know, Donald, you have so many children.
57:54
Speaker 8: I was wondering, do you have any tips on methods
58:01
Speaker 8: for sleep training and how to get them to sleep
58:03
Speaker 8: more at night?
58:04
Speaker 1: Okay. First of all, how old is your kid?
58:06
Speaker 5: He's three months, three.
58:07
Speaker 1: And a half.
58:07
Speaker 5: He's about to be four. And the books say that
58:09
Speaker 5: this is about the time when you start doing it. Right.
58:12
Speaker 1: So you're trying to sleep train right now, right?
58:14
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think we're going to start this weekend because
58:17
Speaker 8: he's been staying up most nights for these last few nights.
58:22
Speaker 1: So when the baby starts crying, you kind of have
58:26
Speaker 1: to ignore it. It is very heartbreaking, but you kind
58:32
Speaker 1: of have to ignore it and trust that the baby
58:36
Speaker 1: will put himself back to sleep.
58:40
Speaker 2: How long do you have to wait while the baby's screaming?
58:42
Speaker 2: I mean, that must be really.
58:43
Speaker 1: Hard for people. You know when there's a problem. You
58:47
Speaker 1: know what I mean? You know if it's... Here's the thing.
58:51
Speaker 1: You have a healthy baby, right? Am I correct in
58:53
Speaker 1: saying that? Correct. So you know when there is a problem.
58:58
Speaker 1: Right now, it's just like every kid out there in
59:01
Speaker 1: the world, at a very young age, you're being tested
59:07
Speaker 1: to see if you will jump when called for. I
59:12
Speaker 1: promise you what I'm telling you is true, dude. Listen,
59:16
Speaker 1: we were very lucky and we hired a night nurse
59:19
Speaker 1: and all of that stuff. And the night nurse explained
59:23
Speaker 1: to us the whole situation too. It really is you
59:27
Speaker 1: being able to say, I know you're crying. I know
59:32
Speaker 1: you want me right now. Sort this out for yourself.
59:38
Speaker 1: And if your baby's crying for over an hour, then yes,
59:42
Speaker 1: obviously run into the room. 45 minutes, obviously run into
59:45
Speaker 1: the room and see what's going on. But most likely,
59:49
Speaker 1: it's not going to last for more than 15 to
59:51
Speaker 1: 20 minutes, and then they're going to go back to sleep.
59:53
Speaker 5: All right, we'll give it a shot.
59:55
Speaker 2: All right, Nicholas, do you think we've fixed your life?
59:58
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're going to see.
59:59
Speaker 2: A thunderous applause. A thunderous applause, Dan. A thunderous applause.
1:00:03
Speaker 2: I think we did it.
1:00:05
Speaker 1: Nicholas, it doesn't happen overnight. It's going to take some time.
1:00:09
Speaker 2: No, we fixed his life, Donald. Stop fucking up the segment.
1:00:11
Speaker 2: It fucking worked.
1:00:13
Speaker 1: You're welcome. Nicholas, you're welcome.
1:00:15
Speaker 2: Nicholas, you're welcome.
1:00:17
Speaker 5: Thank you guys so much for fixing my life. Thank you, Nicholas.
1:00:20
Speaker 2: Good luck with the baby, Nicholas.
1:00:23
Speaker 1: Good luck.
1:00:23
Speaker 2: Bye, buddy.
1:00:24
Speaker 5: I'm sorry I fell out of my chair.
1:00:26
Speaker 2: No, you're amazing. I'll always remember it. I'll always remember it.
1:00:30
Speaker 2: Nicholas should put on that whiteboard, learn not to fall
1:00:32
Speaker 2: out of chair. What a nice man. Balance.
1:00:38
Speaker 1: Speaking of babies, JD fights a demon baby in this episode.
1:00:41
Speaker 2: That was funny when he fights the demon baby, huh?
1:00:45
Speaker 1: Not only was it a demon baby, it was a
1:00:47
Speaker 1: demon baby doll. Because the baby didn't move. And it
1:00:50
Speaker 1: looks like you're.
1:00:51
Speaker 2: Holding the baby. No, it was so bad. But I
1:00:53
Speaker 2: think the badness of it made it even funnier. That
1:00:56
Speaker 2: I'm like running. And then I fall out of frame
1:00:59
Speaker 2: with it. Oh, my God. I had a field day
1:01:01
Speaker 2: with that fake baby. Hey, guess what? This is the
1:01:05
Speaker 2: very first episode where the janitor meets Turk.
1:01:10
Speaker 1: I was about to say that. Turk and the janitor
1:01:13
Speaker 1: finally meet for the first time.
1:01:15
Speaker 4: And.
1:01:15
Speaker 1: The janitor says to Turk, I don't care. He's like,
1:01:18
Speaker 1: what's your name? He's like, oh, hi, I'm Turk.
1:01:20
Speaker 2: Who are you? By the way, you're so excited to
1:01:22
Speaker 2: meet him. I mean, JD must have told you about
1:01:24
Speaker 2: this janitor. And you're like, I'm Dr.
1:01:25
Speaker 4: Turk.
1:01:26
Speaker 2: You've got like a smile on your face.
1:01:26
Speaker 1: Like, Dr.
1:01:27
Speaker 8: Turk.
1:01:27
Speaker 2: He's like, I don't care.
1:01:30
Speaker 1: Also, when he's doing the with the fist, and he
1:01:34
Speaker 1: punches me, and I laugh when he goes, when I, yeah,
1:01:37
Speaker 1: I laugh the whole time.
1:01:37
Speaker 2: You can see, if you go back and watch, you guys,
1:01:39
Speaker 2: you can see that Donald is fucking holding in his
1:01:42
Speaker 2: laughter at that. You thought Neil was hilarious in that moment.
1:01:46
Speaker 1: Well, and then what about, this was my first time
1:01:48
Speaker 1: working with Neil on a show.
1:01:50
Speaker 2: Yeah. That scene in the office with, uh, with Ted,
1:01:54
Speaker 2: the lawyer, our Sam Lloyd is hilarious. Uh, I really
1:01:57
Speaker 2: laughed out loud at that. We go in and we
1:01:59
Speaker 2: tell him, Hey, um, we go in and we say,
1:02:01
Speaker 2: he goes, Hey fellas, uh, always nice to have some visitors.
1:02:04
Speaker 2: What's the dealio? And we're like, uh, Hey, uh, Ted, if,
1:02:07
Speaker 2: if two doctors were hitting golf balls off the roof
1:02:09
Speaker 2: and they caused the car accident and now the guys
1:02:11
Speaker 2: in the ICU were, Would that be a big problem?
1:02:14
Speaker 2: And there's like a long pause and he's just frozen.
1:02:16
Speaker 2: And we go, Ted? And he goes, hey fellas, always
1:02:19
Speaker 2: nice to have visitors. What's the dealio? He just totally.
1:02:23
Speaker 2: He totally went into like a dark hole. And then
1:02:29
Speaker 2: I laughed when you put out your fist. You put
1:02:32
Speaker 2: out your fist to fist bump him and then he
1:02:33
Speaker 2: slaps it like he's slapping you five.
1:02:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I... Dude, it's always great to
1:02:41
Speaker 1: watch him at the end of the episode when he's
1:02:43
Speaker 1: on the roof with the Todd and he's hitting golf
1:02:46
Speaker 1: balls off the roof. He's like, I wonder, I just
1:02:48
Speaker 1: can't believe I, where did I get the idea to
1:02:50
Speaker 1: hit golf balls off the roof? And Todd's like, yeah, man. Hey,
1:02:54
Speaker 1: do you mind if I strip down to the banana hammock?
1:02:57
Speaker 1: And he looks back at him and he's like, oh God.
1:03:00
Speaker 1: And he's about to hit the golf ball.
1:03:03
Speaker 2: Why is Todd, is Todd sunbathing? Why does he feel
1:03:06
Speaker 2: the need to get into the fucking fire covered banana
1:03:09
Speaker 2: hammock at this moment?
1:03:11
Speaker 1: This isn't the traditional fire. This isn't the traditional one either.
1:03:14
Speaker 1: This is like a, this is one though. It's a
1:03:17
Speaker 1: little different. It doesn't look the same. It's not as flammable.
1:03:19
Speaker 2: It had flames on it, but it had flames on it.
1:03:22
Speaker 1: But it wasn't as flame on as the, as the
1:03:25
Speaker 1: real Todd one.
1:03:26
Speaker 2: You're saying the fire, the fire is burning lower on his,
1:03:30
Speaker 2: on his banana hammock?
1:03:31
Speaker 1: On his, on his banana hammock in this episode. That's
1:03:33
Speaker 1: a good thing. We should bring Todd in right now. Todd. Hey,
1:03:37
Speaker 1: let's ask Rob. Here's a great, great moment to ask Rob.
1:03:40
Speaker 5: Todd talk.
1:03:41
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Todd Talk. Rob, the Todd
1:03:44
Speaker 1: has had several banana hammocks. What was the most comfortable
1:03:49
Speaker 1: for you?
1:03:50
Speaker 2: And is it us, or if you don't mind referencing
1:03:53
Speaker 2: the one that you wear at the end of My Karma,
1:03:57
Speaker 2: why does that banana hammock feel slightly different from some
1:03:59
Speaker 2: of your other more notorious banana hammocks? And feel free
1:04:03
Speaker 2: not to write this in a long, prepared paragraph.
1:04:07
Speaker 1: Or feel free to write this in a long, prepared paragraph.
1:04:10
Speaker 2: Whatever you prefer.
1:04:11
Speaker 1: Whatever you want. Comfortable?
1:04:17
Speaker 4: The Todd Hammock's up for the people. Comfort is of
1:04:19
Speaker 4: no importance. Now, after Season 2, Episode 1 with the
1:04:22
Speaker 4: premiere of the Banana Hammock in Mirror Todd, it made
1:04:26
Speaker 4: a big impression. There's a lot of talk. A lot
1:04:28
Speaker 4: of scuttlebutton. I think they wanted to tone it down,
1:04:30
Speaker 4: tamp it down, tape it down. But you can't keep
1:04:33
Speaker 4: the big dog down. In this episode of My Karma,
1:04:36
Speaker 4: that was no banana hammock.
1:04:38
Speaker 2: It was a speedo.
1:04:40
Speaker 4: I should swim the 100-meter freestyle in the Olympics in
1:04:42
Speaker 4: that thing.
1:04:44
Speaker 2: Never again, Five. And please, if you're listening to this,
1:04:47
Speaker 2: hire Rob on Cameo. You can send your scrubs, friends,
1:04:53
Speaker 2: messages from the Todd.
1:04:55
Speaker 1: He just had a birthday, guys. He just had a birthday.
1:04:57
Speaker 1: He turned.
1:04:58
Speaker 2: I know. I put him on my Insta. 53, I think.
1:05:02
Speaker 1: I think it was 53 or 54. One or the other.
1:05:06
Speaker 2: Yeah. He looks good.
1:05:08
Speaker 1: He looks real good, man. I'm telling you. When we
1:05:12
Speaker 1: were doing the show, he would always joke that he
1:05:14
Speaker 1: was much older than us. And he was. He really was.
1:05:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he looks good. He's got nice skin. You know,
1:05:25
Speaker 2: the episode really is about, I felt at the end,
1:05:27
Speaker 2: was about vulnerability, about putting yourself out there, being afraid
1:05:32
Speaker 2: of how you're going to be judged. Several characters are
1:05:36
Speaker 2: afraid of being vulnerable. And I just thought that was
1:05:40
Speaker 2: another theme that crept up for me. I just wrote
1:05:42
Speaker 2: down vulnerability in relationships and how we're all wearing this
1:05:48
Speaker 2: armor to protect our hearts. But the characters in this
1:05:51
Speaker 2: episode are going out of their way to put themselves
1:05:54
Speaker 2: out there and be brave.
1:05:57
Speaker 1: I wish I would have thought of that when I
1:05:58
Speaker 1: was doing the recap of the show.
1:06:00
Speaker 2: Well, your recap was so thorough. It was so incredibly thorough.
1:06:03
Speaker 2: I don't know where you would have had time in
1:06:04
Speaker 2: the 30 seconds to do that. All right, everybody, that's
1:06:11
Speaker 2: our show. Donald, anything else you want to tell the people?
1:06:15
Speaker 1: Yes, I do want to tell all the frontline workers
1:06:18
Speaker 1: still at this moment right now, we still want to
1:06:23
Speaker 1: shout you out and give you all the love we
1:06:26
Speaker 1: possibly can. And I don't just mean the frontline workers
1:06:29
Speaker 1: in the hospitals. I mean the frontline workers that work
1:06:32
Speaker 1: at supermarkets, that work at testing sites, the frontline workers
1:06:37
Speaker 1: that are out there, the essential job people that are
1:06:40
Speaker 1: out there in the streets right now. You are living
1:06:43
Speaker 1: a life that a lot of people are afraid to live,
1:06:49
Speaker 1: and I respect you, and I support you from my
1:06:54
Speaker 1: closet right now because I am afraid to do those things.
1:06:58
Speaker 1: So that being said, God bless you, and I support
1:07:02
Speaker 1: you 100%.
1:07:03
Speaker 2: Thank you, everybody, for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to
1:07:07
Speaker 2: the show. Tell your friends about the show because you
1:07:09
Speaker 2: might be loving the show, but you're not telling all
1:07:11
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1:07:16
Speaker 2: put your friend's name there unless their name is so-and-so.
1:07:19
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1:07:23
Speaker 2: bad shit every week. You got to check this thing out.
1:07:27
Speaker 2: Rate the show. Subscribe to the show. Follow Joelle and
1:07:31
Speaker 2: Daniel on Twitter. We love you guys. We'll see you
1:07:34
Speaker 2: next time.
1:07:34
Speaker 1: Five, six, seven, eight.
1:07:35
Speaker 3: Stories about show we made. About a bunch of docs
1:07:41
Speaker 3: and nurses.
1:07:42
Speaker 2: In a Canada who love making ice.
1:07:44
Speaker 3: And he's got stories that.
1:07:46
Speaker 1: We all should know.
1:07:49
Speaker 3: So gather round to hear our, gather round to hear
1:07:53
Speaker 3: our Scrubs Rewatch Show
1:07:55
Speaker 2: With Zach and Donald.