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SoWhoCaresAnyway E54 Emergence 2: The Swirl Inside · SoWhoCaresAnyway

• 0:04
  Welcome to So Who Cares Anyway, a fortnightly podcast exploring stories that shape care, community, and the systems we live in.
• 0:12
  I'm Ruth Germaine, and in each episode I'm joined by my guests, people from behind clinical doors to the North York Moors, whose experiences open a window into how we care for one another.
• 0:24
  Together, we explore care through creativity, connection, and the strengths we already hold.
• 0:31
  Because care isn't small.
• 0:32
  Care isn't soft.
• 0:34
  Care shapes the world.
• 0:36
  So who cares anyway? It's time to talk about it.
• 0:42
  Hello, and welcome to the second in my miniseries of this podcast called Emergence.
• 0:51
  For those of you that listened to the first episode, you may have remembered that we started inside the cocoon, and that I promised a caterpillar with two faces.
• 1:03
  Well, I decided that before we actually meet those two faces, that I needed to go right back to the beginning, to the moment when she first awakes.
• 1:16
  So as before, I'm gonna start by reading the blog that will be re- released on my website the same day, time as, as this episode goes out, and then I'm gonna move into the reflection and just talk through afterwards It was a Monday morning, early.
• 1:37
  She blinked, looked up, and gazed at the magnificent moon, neither waxing nor waning, but full.
• 1:49
  Full of life, ambition, and promise.
• 1:53
  She felt a little swirl inside, enough to take that first half-inch forwards.
• 2:00
  And as she did, even in the quiet moonlight, she realized that she was someway beautiful.
• 2:09
  She felt it again, that swirl deep inside, and with that, she inched forwards into life.
• 2:18
  She didn't know it then, but that swirl inside was her barometer, her compass, her guide to her true north I'm gonna reflect on that bit today and talk about it a bit.
• 2:34
  So I'm just gonna say that last piece again.
• 2:38
  She didn't know it then, but that swirl inside was her barometer, her compass, her guide to her true north So my first question is, would you think that swirl was I mean, it could be any number of things, and I think that it brought up for me was excitement, little bit of nervousness, even hope.
• 3:07
  But actually, it's hers, and I think the important thing is nobody else can name it for her.
• 3:14
  So I thought, "I best not name it."
• 3:18
  And I expect that sh- she didn't know it then either.
• 3:23
  She hadn't stopped to think about what was that swirl, and most of us probably don't.
• 3:32
  So I thought to myself, for this podcast, I knew what I wanted to talk about, but I couldn't quite articulate it.
• 3:40
  So I thought to myself, "I'm gonna go for a walk up the woods."
• 3:42
  I needed to take my dog out anyway, so I thought, "Let's go up there, and I can start to think about what those swirls are and what that really means."
• 3:51
  And the thing that I noticed was every time I thought about those moments of swirl where there was that, for me, excitement, that anticipation, that something, every time I thought about that and moments where I thought that might have happened, there seemed to be these wobbles creeping in.
• 4:10
  But the one time that I did remember it, I suddenly visualized a photograph that my parents have in their photo album of me.
• 4:18
  I'm about six, and I'm kneeling in the sand, and I know I'm about six, because my front teeth are missing.
• 4:24
  But I was outside, and I didn't have a care in the world.
• 4:29
  I was just there enjoying the moment for the moment.
• 4:34
  No pressure, no expectations.
• 4:38
  And as I thought about that, as I walked through the woods, I suddenly thought to myself, "Actually, I'm feeling it today.
• 4:46
  I've got this swirl, this anticipation, this excitement in writing my blog," because actually, is this a blog or a story that I'm writing? I'm not sure.
• 4:57
  In recording the podcast, is it a podcast? Is it just me talking? What is it? But actually, what I've realized is there's nobody telling me what to do, and there's no rules unless I make them, and that's what's giving me that swirl.
• 5:18
  And I think as well that going rogue seems to be my comfortable place.
• 5:24
  W- I met a colleague from work a couple of weeks ago, and I said to her, "I always thrived when I was in roles where people weren't quite sure what it was that I was supposed to do or achieve, but actually, I could do and achieve so much more than if I'd been asked."
• 5:41
  And she laughed and agreed with me And then today, I remembered I'd read a LinkedIn post from Martin Whiskin.
• 5:49
  So Martin, you'll hear this as you're editing it, but you spoke about that doing something a little bit different and being yourself, so doing something to stand out.
• 6:02
  But I don't know if it's always about standing out for me, but it is about that being yourself, and you said, "If it's being yourself, that's more than enough."
• 6:11
  And I think, Martin, what you were describing there was your swirl.
• 6:16
  And it's lovely when somebody notices us, but the swirl, I think, comes from before anybody notice, and it doesn't always need them to.
• 6:26
  It depends what our swirl is.
• 6:29
  And it came to me as well back in episode 48, it was another one of my solo reflections called Listening Inwards As We Listen Outwards.
• 6:40
  I talked about reflective models and thinking about how things made us feel, and I think we u- usually only reflect when something's gone wrong, and we hardly ever listen.
• 6:55
  And they're the...
• 6:55
  those feelings are actually hard ones to manage, and if we're not careful, they can throw us into a feeling of defensiveness as we start to feel that guilt or shame.
• 7:07
  And I think it's really important and worthwhile listening to the swirls as well.
• 7:14
  Sometimes that swirl comes on its own, like when I was on the beach as a child, like when I was walking up the woods, just completely liberated, feeling I was able to do what it is I want to do, and I'm in a very fortunate position to be able to do that.
• 7:29
  But I was also aware that there were many other things that had happened over my lifetime, whether it's work or as a child or in my family, where quite often what I do, and I think we all tend to do this, is we listen to the bits that are hard and difficult, that go wrong, and go into that defensiveness.
• 7:48
  But actually, even those, at some point there will have been a swirl in there, and if we can go back and find that swirl, well, I think that's the bit where we can go back and go, "Ah, that's the way I needed to go.
• 8:02
  That's where my true north was pointing."
• 8:07
  So take a moment now and think of a time when you felt that swirl Do you notice your swirl when it happens? Or do you only notice when you're looking back? Where are you where you feel it? What are you doing And who isn't telling you what to do? And when did you last stop and ask, "What is that swirl telling me?" So I'll tell you now, my caterpillar, you didn't always listen to it, and you're here as other voices will soon become louder For now, I'd really love to hear your swirls and ask you to share them with me.
• 9:03
  I'd love to read some of them out and think about them in some of the later episodes.
• 9:09
  So for now, go on your way and look and feel for your swirls I hope today's conversation gave you something to think about.
• 9:21
  If it did, please share it with someone.
• 9:23
  Ripples matter.
• 9:24
  You can also follow the show so you don't miss future episodes.
• 9:28
  And if you have reflections or ideas, then please leave a rating, or to support my work, head over to my Linktree, which you can find in the show notes.
• 9:37
  But for now, stay caring, stay connected, stay curious.
• 9:41
  Thanks for listening