Latest / The Matt Walsh Show / This Lesbian Bar In Massachusetts Ended Their Mask Mandate. All Hell Broke Loose.
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: We've established a pattern on this show, as I'm sure
- 0:07Speaker 1: you've noticed, and the pattern goes like this. I bring
- 0:10Speaker 1: up some kind of current event or cultural issue. I
- 0:13Speaker 1: explain the event or issue, and then I offer my
- 0:15Speaker 1: analysis of said event or issue. And that last step,
- 0:19Speaker 1: the analysis, is typically very important because without it, I
- 0:21Speaker 1: would just be reporting on things that are happening.
- 0:24Speaker 2: And that would make me a reporter.
- 0:25Speaker 1: Or a journalist, which is somehow a species even more
- 0:28Speaker 1: debased than podcaster. And so to avoid any specious charges
- 0:31Speaker 1: of journalism, I like to color my recounting of events
- 0:35Speaker 1: with my own opinion, as opposed to journalists who come
- 0:37Speaker 1: to think of it, do the exact same thing. However,
- 0:40Speaker 1: on rare occasion, there is a circumstance so momentous or
- 0:43Speaker 1: bizarre or extraordinary that it leaves almost no room for
- 0:47Speaker 1: subjective analysis. All I can do in these cases, if
- 0:51Speaker 1: I'm going to speak of it at all, is simply
- 0:53Speaker 1: relay it to you in stupefied amazement. So for example,
- 0:57Speaker 1: if aliens landed in my backyard, or if I went
- 0:59Speaker 1: hiking in the woods and I happened to see Bigfoot
- 1:01Speaker 1: dash through the trees, riding a unicorn or something, all
- 1:04Speaker 1: I would be able to do is just report the event.
- 1:07Speaker 1: And all you'd be able to do is listen and
- 1:09Speaker 1: conclude that I'm a schizophrenic lunatic, just as you'd always suspected.
- 1:12Speaker 1: But the point is, I wouldn't have much of a
- 1:14Speaker 1: take to offer. The event would speak for itself. And
- 1:18Speaker 1: that is a situation that we find ourselves in today,
- 1:22Speaker 1: thanks to a now infamous article this week in the
- 1:24Speaker 1: Boston Globe. Now, this article is not about Bigfoot, although
- 1:28Speaker 1: it does feature a number of people who one can
- 1:31Speaker 1: assume probably bear a striking resemblance. Instead, the article has
- 1:34Speaker 1: this title. A Western Massachusetts lesbian bar required KN95 masks.
- 1:40Speaker 1: When it changed the rules, all hell broke loose. Last
- 1:43Speaker 1: Stitch Bar in Greenfield wanted to build community They got
- 1:47Speaker 1: a firestorm instead. Now, I'll reiterate here that this article
- 1:51Speaker 1: is from this week, and this week did occur in
- 1:54Speaker 1: the year 2026. We have not entered a time warp
- 1:57Speaker 1: that sent us barreling back to 2021. So this is
- 2:01Speaker 1: a firestorm over a relaxed mask mandate in the current
- 2:05Speaker 1: year AD. So already we have a situation that's obviously
- 2:09Speaker 1: quite funny, but it gets so much better. Or so
- 2:13Speaker 1: much worse, depending on whether you're cynical enough to find
- 2:15Speaker 1: the collapse of Western civilization somewhat amusing, as I do.
- 2:19Speaker 1: I fear that if I try to summarize the article,
- 2:21Speaker 1: you'll be deprived of the Alice in Wonderland journey that
- 2:25Speaker 1: those of us who read the entire thing experienced. And
- 2:28Speaker 1: so we're going to go through this piece by piece.
- 2:32Speaker 2: Bear with me. Here goes. Quote.
- 2:35Speaker 1: The August 31st Instagram post from Last Ditch Bar and
- 2:39Speaker 1: Arts Venue, a lesbian bar in Greenfield, was upbeat, teasing
- 2:42Speaker 1: a new DJ lineup and a volunteer meetup. But partway
- 2:46Speaker 1: down the rainbow-hued post labeled Updates was a sentence that
- 2:49Speaker 1: would splinter the queer community in this small Pioneer Valley
- 2:53Speaker 1: city and beyond. It's with love we inform our immunocompromised
- 2:58Speaker 1: disabled divas We'll be opening Saturday nights as mask optional,
- 3:02Speaker 1: wrote Last Ditch. Previously, patrons were required to wear a
- 3:05Speaker 1: well-fitted KN95 mask or better at all times. The new
- 3:10Speaker 1: policy was not received with love. Now, I know what
- 3:13Speaker 1: you're thinking. You're thinking that immunocompromised disabled divas sounds like
- 3:17Speaker 1: the worst 70s disco band of all time. You're also
- 3:20Speaker 1: wondering what KN95 or better means.
- 3:24Speaker 2: What would be better?
- 3:26Speaker 1: A gas mask, a hazmat suit, a full scuba diving outfit?
- 3:30Speaker 1: Maybe those are all safer alternatives. I don't know. Of course,
- 3:32Speaker 1: if you're really serious about public health, then another option
- 3:35Speaker 1: is to have your lungs surgically removed so that you
- 3:38Speaker 1: aren't expelling or breathing in any infected air at all.
- 3:42Speaker 1: And those are all perfectly valid points, but let's stay
- 3:44Speaker 1: on task. We've barely started reading on. The new policy
- 3:47Speaker 1: was not received with love. Just say you're being complicit
- 3:50Speaker 1: in a mass disabling event. And get it over with,
- 3:54Speaker 1: wrote one commenter. People like you kill disabled people in
- 3:57Speaker 1: the name of your own leisure and convenience, posted another.
- 4:00Speaker 1: Just to scrape extra revenue from ableists, wrote a third.
- 4:11Speaker 1: The thread grew to 442 comments, some supportive, but many furious.
- 4:15Speaker 1: People running the bar were accused of being ableist, eugenicist even,
- 4:19Speaker 1: for relaxing their signature policy in the face of what
- 4:22Speaker 1: commenters consider an ongoing pandemic. Greenfield has not reported any
- 4:26Speaker 1: COVID cases in more than two months. I will say
- 4:29Speaker 1: that mass disabling event is a much better band name.
- 4:33Speaker 2: So there's that.
- 4:34Speaker 1: But that aside, keep in mind, as we continue, that
- 4:36Speaker 1: the illustrious last-ditch lesbian bar had only announced a relaxation
- 4:40Speaker 1: of the mask policy for one day of the week.
- 4:44Speaker 1: And even then, masks are optional, not prohibited. So according
- 4:49Speaker 1: to the let's be polite and call it strained logic
- 4:52Speaker 1: of these let's be polite and call them fanatically delusional
- 4:55Speaker 1: whack jobs, they're only being potentially exposed to deadly COVID
- 4:58Speaker 1: fumes on one night of the week. And then only
- 5:01Speaker 1: if they choose to go to this bar, which they
- 5:03Speaker 1: don't have to. And then only if they also are
- 5:06Speaker 1: forgoing their own mask and hazmat suit.
- 5:08Speaker 2: Which they don't have to.
- 5:10Speaker 1: So it seems that even if we make the astronomical
- 5:13Speaker 1: leaps of logic required to grant them their underlying premises,
- 5:17Speaker 1: you know, that there is a COVID pandemic currently happening
- 5:19Speaker 1: and that masks are necessary to protect against it. And
- 5:22Speaker 1: that COVID aside, there's any personal protective equipment in the
- 5:25Speaker 1: world that can save you from the hellish primeval diseases
- 5:28Speaker 1: and afflictions that must cover every square inch of a
- 5:32Speaker 1: seedy lesbian bar in Massachusetts. There still wouldn't be any
- 5:35Speaker 1: reason to be overly upset at this lesbian bar with
- 5:38Speaker 1: its slightly relaxed mask policy on one day of the
- 5:41Speaker 1: week out of seven. And yet these people are upset.
- 5:45Speaker 1: In fact, they're so upset that they think the bar
- 5:47Speaker 1: should be burned down with everyone inside it. In the
- 5:51Speaker 1: name of public safety, of course. Note, too, how the
- 5:54Speaker 1: person who makes the firebomb threat isn't even trying to
- 5:57Speaker 1: justify it using any kind of like tortured self-defense argument. Instead,
- 6:01Speaker 1: they wish a fiery death on everybody associated with the
- 6:04Speaker 1: bar for interfering with, quote, their Saturday plans. I mean,
- 6:09Speaker 1: at least the other angry commenters have the decency to
- 6:11Speaker 1: pretend that the bar is actively eradicating the entire disabled
- 6:15Speaker 1: population or whatever. This one, on the other hand, is
- 6:18Speaker 1: just casually saying that anyone who causes them to have
- 6:20Speaker 1: to shift around their weekend schedule deserves to burn alive.
- 6:25Speaker 1: Your bed has one job, which is to provide a
- 6:28Speaker 1: comfortable place for you to remain unconscious for several hours. Nowadays,
- 6:32Speaker 1: there are sleep trackers and apps and supplements and elaborate
- 6:35Speaker 1: nighttime routines. People are monitoring 17 different metrics to determine
- 6:39Speaker 1: whether they successfully went unconscious for eight hours. Maybe all
- 6:43Speaker 1: that has some value, but before you redesign your entire
- 6:46Speaker 1: life around sleeping, you might want to consider the thing
- 6:48Speaker 1: you're actually lying in every night, which is your bedding.
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- 7:41Speaker 2: Exclusions apply.
- 7:44Speaker 1: Now, the saving grace for the bar is that this
- 7:46Speaker 1: commenter is, we can assume, a woman who is, we
- 7:48Speaker 1: can assume, morbidly obese and who we can assume wouldn't
- 7:52Speaker 1: know how to make or deploy a firebomb, even if
- 7:54Speaker 1: she had an IKEA instruction manual, and we can assume
- 7:57Speaker 1: would probably just blow herself up in the process accidentally anyway.
- 8:00Speaker 2: So that's the good news.
- 8:02Speaker 1: Continuing, two days later, Last Ditch posted an apology. We're
- 8:06Speaker 1: sorry for our passive and dismissive tone of our change
- 8:09Speaker 1: to the norms and schedule impacting the most intersectional among us,
- 8:13Speaker 1: management wrote on Instagram. We understand everyone faces different intersections,
- 8:17Speaker 1: and we are always working to consider all needs fully.
- 8:20Speaker 1: Instead of diffusing the situation, the apology seemed to make
- 8:23Speaker 1: things worse. The bar had aired. It posted an Instagram
- 8:26Speaker 1: card without providing alt text for the visually impaired. This
- 8:30Speaker 1: set off a fresh round of accusations of ableism. This
- 8:33Speaker 1: is not an accessible post, wrote one user. It indicates
- 8:36Speaker 1: the lack of care or interest in disability intersectionality. Now,
- 8:41Speaker 1: I don't want to break up the momentum here right
- 8:43Speaker 1: as we get into the second act, but I'll just
- 8:46Speaker 1: clarify a couple of things. First, in case you aren't
- 8:48Speaker 1: up on the lingo, the phrase everyone faces different intersections
- 8:54Speaker 1: is not, as far as I know, a reference to
- 8:57Speaker 1: a city with a confusing and chaotic street layout. She's
- 9:01Speaker 1: not talking about Boston or Washington, D.C. Intersections here refers
- 9:05Speaker 1: to the places where all of your personal victimhood identities meet.
- 9:10Speaker 1: And the goal, if you're on the left, is to
- 9:12Speaker 1: have an intersection that is as busy and frantic and
- 9:16Speaker 1: poorly marked and congested and convoluted as possible. So your
- 9:20Speaker 1: personal victimhood intersection should resemble like a traffic intersection in Nairobi.
- 9:27Speaker 1: No traffic lights, no signs, 12 different roads converging at once.
- 9:32Speaker 1: pedestrians wandering into the road and getting flattened one after another.
- 9:36Speaker 1: That's how you win on the left. Now, meanwhile, as
- 9:39Speaker 1: a straight white male, my intersection doesn't exist.
- 9:44Speaker 2: It's just one.
- 9:45Speaker 1: Straight, well-maintained, well-lit road, everything humming along smoothly. And so
- 9:52Speaker 1: in the leftist view, I lose. They all point and
- 9:54Speaker 1: laugh at me and say, you're normal and functional and
- 9:57Speaker 1: not in a state of constant crippling self-obsession.
- 10:00Speaker 2: Loser.
- 10:01Speaker 1: Second and related, if you're wondering what alt text is,
- 10:06Speaker 1: it's a written description of an image which makes the
- 10:09Speaker 1: content more accessible for blind people. Now, you might be
- 10:12Speaker 1: slightly confused by this because you're thinking, or at least
- 10:15Speaker 1: I was thinking, if blind people can't can't see the image,
- 10:18Speaker 1: then how can they see the written description of the image? Well,
- 10:22Speaker 1: the answer to that question is to begin with, how
- 10:24Speaker 1: dare you ask for any explanations about the lived experience
- 10:27Speaker 1: of disabled folks? They don't have to explain themselves to you,
- 10:31Speaker 1: you disgusting bigot.
- 10:33Speaker 2: You should be.
- 10:33Speaker 1: Stabbed in the stomach and thrown into a pit of scorpions. Also,
- 10:37Speaker 1: the answer is that blind people use screen reading technology
- 10:40Speaker 1: that can read the image description. Now, if you're next
- 10:44Speaker 1: going to ask why the screen reader can't itself just
- 10:47Speaker 1: describe the image, well, then I refer you back to
- 10:50Speaker 1: the Pit of Scorpions. Now, of course, even if the
- 10:52Speaker 1: last-ditch lesbian bar had included alt text, that may have
- 10:58Speaker 1: been more accessible for the blind, but it would have
- 11:00Speaker 1: done nothing for the Helen Keller-style blind and deaf community. Indeed,
- 11:05Speaker 1: the alt text just assumes that those who are visually
- 11:08Speaker 1: impaired aren't also intersectionally hearing impaired. which itself is an
- 11:13Speaker 1: ableist and bigoted and colonialist assumption that is morally tantamount
- 11:17Speaker 1: to genocide, if you ask me.
- 11:18Speaker 2: I mean, at the very.
- 11:19Speaker 1: Least, the bar could have provided the alt text, but
- 11:22Speaker 1: then also mailed a description of the text in Braille
- 11:26Speaker 1: to everybody in the community. Is that so much to ask?
- 11:30Speaker 1: That seems like a logical compromise. Although even that raises
- 11:34Speaker 1: its own intersectional problems, because what about disabled people who
- 11:38Speaker 1: are blind and deaf and also have no arms or legs?
- 11:42Speaker 1: How are they supposed to hear the text description or
- 11:45Speaker 1: feel the Braille?
- 11:48Speaker 2: What do you want them to do?
- 11:50Speaker 1: Smack their head against the Braille, dragging their forehead across it?
- 11:53Speaker 2: Is that what you want? Do you think it's.
- 11:56Speaker 1: Funny to imagine a blind and deaf lesbian with no
- 11:59Speaker 1: arms or legs flailing her head against a piece of
- 12:01Speaker 1: braille in order to understand the new masking guidelines at
- 12:04Speaker 1: the local lesbian bar? Would you like that? Okay, would
- 12:07Speaker 1: that be amusing to you, fascist? This is, again, why
- 12:11Speaker 1: you should be killed, with all due respect. Anyway, let's
- 12:15Speaker 1: jump forward a few paragraphs and continue. Quote, nevertheless, Last Ditch,
- 12:20Speaker 1: which opened last year as a bar for dykes, transsexuals,
- 12:23Speaker 1: gender freaks, workers, and their friends, is struggling. Three housemates
- 12:27Speaker 1: in their mid-twenties opened it together, hoping to fill the
- 12:30Speaker 1: void left by two local queer bars that had shuttered.
- 12:33Speaker 1: One of the trio, Asa Rosario, a drag performer who
- 12:36Speaker 1: uses it, its pronouns, envisioned a venue where it and
- 12:41Speaker 1: its friends could perform. Quick time out here just to
- 12:44Speaker 1: say that although I'm very firmly on the record as
- 12:47Speaker 1: someone who doesn't care about your personal pronouns, it is
- 12:51Speaker 1: is one personal pronoun that I might actually respect. I
- 12:55Speaker 1: never thought I'd say that. But if you want me
- 12:57Speaker 1: to call you it or that or that thing or
- 13:02Speaker 1: my God, what is that monstrosity?
- 13:05Speaker 2: Then you know what? I'm on board. I can do that.
- 13:08Speaker 2: I am willing to do that.
- 13:10Speaker 1: Continuing, quote, the three were intentional about the kinds of
- 13:14Speaker 1: values they wanted to bring to the divy basement bar,
- 13:17Speaker 1: which they decorated with discoveries from Facebook marketplace and pieces
- 13:20Speaker 1: from local artists. No one would be turned away from
- 13:23Speaker 1: the space for lack of funds. Poor and unhoused people
- 13:26Speaker 1: are welcome in the space. The police were not. Our
- 13:29Speaker 1: mission is to create systems of care and action and aid,
- 13:33Speaker 1: says Jackie Mattelian, one of the founders. When it first opened,
- 13:36Speaker 1: Last Ditch did fairly well. Customers fondly remember a raucous
- 13:40Speaker 1: opening night with a clothed simulation of a lesbian sex act,
- 13:44Speaker 1: masks in place, on the dance floor. But over time,
- 13:49Speaker 1: foot traffic to the bar slowed. More and more visitors
- 13:51Speaker 1: said they didn't have the cover fee. The bar let
- 13:54Speaker 1: them in anyway. The owners fell behind on bills and
- 13:56Speaker 1: couldn't pay themselves or the people who worked there. So
- 13:58Speaker 1: after consulting with the Massachusetts LGBT Chamber of Commerce, they
- 14:01Speaker 1: came up with a plan to bend one of their
- 14:03Speaker 1: rules and hopefully attract more customers. But by the time
- 14:06Speaker 1: of Last Ditch's monthly community meeting on September 11th, only
- 14:10Speaker 1: one of the original founders, Mattelian, is still involved. The
- 14:14Speaker 1: two others stepped back from the daily operation months before,
- 14:17Speaker 1: Mattelian says. citing various pressures and health issues, one had
- 14:21Speaker 1: enrolled in clown school. Now, there's obviously quite a lot
- 14:25Speaker 1: going on in these couple of paragraphs. I am particularly
- 14:28Speaker 1: fascinated by that last sentence. And the article doesn't dwell
- 14:33Speaker 1: on it or tell us anything else. It just tells us, oh, yeah,
- 14:36Speaker 1: they went off to clown school. No other information. But
- 14:40Speaker 1: I want to know more. One of the queer lesbian
- 14:43Speaker 1: founders of this bar has stepped away from the business
- 14:45Speaker 1: in order to enroll in clown school. You know, there
- 14:48Speaker 1: are a lot of insulting and sarcastic remarks available here,
- 14:52Speaker 1: which I am far too polite and mature to make. OK,
- 14:56Speaker 1: you could, for example, observe how for a woke LGBT
- 14:59Speaker 1: person to become a clown is to become paradoxically less
- 15:04Speaker 1: creepy and bizarre. Gay leftists are the only people in
- 15:08Speaker 1: existence who go to clown school and come out more
- 15:11Speaker 1: normal and presentable than they were going in. You might
- 15:15Speaker 1: say that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that
- 15:19Speaker 1: because it's insulting and beneath me. I'm saying that you
- 15:21Speaker 1: might say that. And again, how dare you say that? Instead,
- 15:26Speaker 1: I find myself focused on the fascinating fact that clown
- 15:29Speaker 1: school is a thing that actually exists. I mean, I'd
- 15:33Speaker 1: heard of it before. I always thought it was more
- 15:35Speaker 1: of like a figure of speech. But it turns out
- 15:37Speaker 1: that it's a literal, physical reality. You know, I had
- 15:42Speaker 1: to look it up and I discovered that indeed there
- 15:44Speaker 1: are many clown schools. There are like a lot of them.
- 15:48Speaker 1: In fact, you can go to the website Clowns Without Borders,
- 15:52Speaker 1: which is again real, and find a list of dozens
- 15:55Speaker 1: of clown schools all across the country and even the world.
- 16:00Speaker 1: When's the last time anyone's even seen a clown?
- 16:05Speaker 2: There's like thousands of clown schools.
- 16:06Speaker 1: I mean, we're just churning out millions of clowns. I've
- 16:08Speaker 1: never even, I haven't seen a clown in 35 years.
- 16:13Speaker 1: Where are all these clowns? That's my question. Like I've
- 16:16Speaker 1: never been one to be, oh, clowns are scary. But
- 16:19Speaker 1: the fact that we're creating so many clowns and no
- 16:22Speaker 1: one knows where they are.
- 16:25Speaker 2: That's kind of terrifying. What are they all doing? Where
- 16:29Speaker 2: did they go?
- 16:31Speaker 1: Now, one of the more prestigious institutions appears to be
- 16:34Speaker 1: the Northeast Clown Institute, whose website offers many academic resources
- 16:38Speaker 1: for clowns and prospective clowns, including the 2026 Northeast Clown
- 16:42Speaker 1: Institute course schedule, which covers topics such as the business
- 16:46Speaker 1: of clowning, kids shows, juggling for fun, and where to
- 16:51Speaker 1: hide the bodies. That last one is not really a
- 16:54Speaker 1: listed topic, but I assume they covered it at some point.
- 16:57Speaker 1: I should also note that the Northeast Clown Institute has
- 17:00Speaker 1: a board, I look deeply into this, okay?
- 17:03Speaker 2: It has a board of directors.
- 17:04Speaker 1: With 20, 20 members on their board of directors, all
- 17:09Speaker 1: with names like Woohoo, Boohoo, Beeboo, Rascal, and Disco. Now, helpfully,
- 17:16Speaker 1: Disco the Clown also has a video linked on the
- 17:18Speaker 1: website where he provides a brief lecture on the legal
- 17:21Speaker 1: issues of clowning.
- 17:23Speaker 2: I'm here to tell you that clowning is not all
- 17:25Speaker 2: fun and games or laughs and giggles.
- 17:27Speaker 1: Apparently, Disco the Clown is a lawyer. He's been in
- 17:29Speaker 1: the practice for 40 years, serving clients who either don't
- 17:32Speaker 1: know he's a clown or were specifically looking for legal
- 17:35Speaker 1: representation that knows how to make a poodle out of
- 17:38Speaker 1: a balloon.
- 17:39Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 17:40Speaker 1: I watched his lecture because I have no life, and
- 17:43Speaker 1: I discovered that some of the legal pitfalls clowns face,
- 17:46Speaker 1: according to Disco, are the possibility that a balloon breaks
- 17:50Speaker 1: and a child chokes on it, or that a child
- 17:52Speaker 1: might develop a skin infection from face paint, or that
- 17:56Speaker 1: the clown might be accused of, quote, unwanted touching. Disco
- 18:02Speaker 1: notes that this latter issue may not be covered by insurance. Anyway,
- 18:05Speaker 1: none of this is directly relevant to the matter at hand,
- 18:07Speaker 1: but if you were wondering about the intricacies of clown
- 18:09Speaker 1: higher education.
- 18:10Speaker 2: Or if you were not wondering at all, now you know.
- 18:14Speaker 1: We move now to the climactic scene in this saga.
- 18:18Speaker 1: I mean, the saga of the lesbian bar, not the
- 18:20Speaker 1: clown school. Distinction is subtle, admittedly.
- 18:24Speaker 2: Here it is.
- 18:25Speaker 1: Quote, there are some 10 people seated in a circle
- 18:27Speaker 1: on the dance floor, all wearing masks, Mattelian, a handful
- 18:30Speaker 1: of volunteers, some bar patrons, and two designated mediators who
- 18:34Speaker 1: will facilitate conversations between parties who disagree. Another 10 or
- 18:39Speaker 1: 15 people join the meeting via Zoom. The plan is
- 18:42Speaker 1: to go clockwise, sharing views on the masking decision and
- 18:45Speaker 1: the financial future of the bar. Each person has two
- 18:47Speaker 1: minutes to speak. It begins with a calming breath exercise.
- 18:51Speaker 1: Almost immediately, the proceedings are derailed. One of Last Ditch's
- 18:55Speaker 1: most vocal critics, the head of another queer COVID-conscious collective
- 18:58Speaker 1: in Western Massachusetts, a performer and artist who goes by
- 19:01Speaker 1: Soey Noir, has been posting complaints about Last Ditch for days.
- 19:07Speaker 2: Now Noir joins the meeting on Zoom.
- 19:09Speaker 1: He and other critics begin to flood the Zoom chat
- 19:11Speaker 1: with irate messages, which are dutifully read aloud to the group.
- 19:15Speaker 1: Quick note, Noir identifies as he. I'm not sure if
- 19:19Speaker 1: he actually is a he. In fact, I'm not sure
- 19:21Speaker 1: if any of these people in the article are actually
- 19:24Speaker 1: female lesbians.
- 19:26Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 19:27Speaker 1: It's possible that this lesbian bar is staffed and populated
- 19:29Speaker 1: entirely by dudes in dresses.
- 19:31Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not sure.
- 19:33Speaker 1: I'm too busy to investigate the matter any further, especially
- 19:36Speaker 1: now that I wasted 45 minutes researching clown schools.
- 19:39Speaker 2: So we'll just have to move on.
- 19:41Speaker 1: Reading on, quote, when it comes time for one of
- 19:43Speaker 1: the mediators, a licensed therapist, to speak, she takes a
- 19:46Speaker 1: conciliatory tone. I love that you're here on she says,
- 19:51Speaker 1: but these platforms alienate us from each other. I'm talking
- 19:54Speaker 1: about social media. She asks whether participants can try to
- 19:57Speaker 1: remove themselves from, quote, places of righteousness. I'd love to
- 20:01Speaker 1: get to a place where we all know each other's face,
- 20:03Speaker 1: where we all know each other's names.
- 20:06Speaker 2: Well, how are we And you can't know each other's faces.
- 20:08Speaker 2: You're all wearing masks. That's sort of the whole point
- 20:10Speaker 2: of the thing.
- 20:11Speaker 1: But anyway, it's messed up that the mediator is dismissing
- 20:14Speaker 1: those attending virtually. That's not accessibility. Someone responds in the chat.
- 20:18Speaker 1: A lot of people are calling for an acknowledgement of harm.
- 20:21Speaker 1: And I'm hearing a white therapist centering the feelings of
- 20:24Speaker 1: a majority white and white adjacent staff, writes Noir, who
- 20:28Speaker 1: is black. Moreover, the Zoom attendees speculate that the mediator's
- 20:31Speaker 1: license status makes her a mandated reporter, an agent of
- 20:35Speaker 1: the state akin to the police. One person going by
- 20:38Speaker 1: Moss asks if the mediator could have them hospitalized against
- 20:41Speaker 1: their will, adding that her presence is, quote, wildly unsafe. Now,
- 20:47Speaker 1: I don't want to be judgmental, far be it from me.
- 20:50Speaker 1: My audience knows I am not one to make judgments
- 20:53Speaker 1: about people, especially harsh judgments. But I will just say
- 20:57Speaker 1: that if you're the kind of person who has to
- 20:59Speaker 1: worry about being hospitalized against your will, that's a pretty
- 21:03Speaker 1: good sign that you're the kind of person who should
- 21:06Speaker 1: be hospitalized against your will. But there were no hospitalizations
- 21:10Speaker 1: to come out of this meeting, sadly. That would have
- 21:13Speaker 1: been productive. Instead, all that was learned, apparently, is that
- 21:16Speaker 1: the woman who owns the place not only wants to
- 21:20Speaker 1: murder the entire disabled community, but is also, of course, racist.
- 21:24Speaker 1: We're told that Mattelian tried to engender some sympathy from
- 21:26Speaker 1: the group by pointing out that the business is going
- 21:28Speaker 1: under and she's in debt and she's doing whatever she
- 21:31Speaker 1: needs to do to keep her head above water, keep
- 21:34Speaker 1: the doors open. But as the article reports, her critics were, quote, unmoved.
- 21:39Speaker 1: They chastised her for centering her feelings and spilling her
- 21:43Speaker 1: white tears and forcing black heroes like Noir to, quote,
- 21:47Speaker 1: do emotional and physical labor. Now, Noir never explains how
- 21:52Speaker 1: exactly attending a Zoom call involves physical labor. Maybe he
- 21:57Speaker 1: or she or whatever has an Internet connection that can
- 22:00Speaker 1: only be powered by physically running on a wheel like
- 22:03Speaker 1: a giant hamster.
- 22:04Speaker 2: I'm not sure.
- 22:06Speaker 1: And these are questions that just cannot be answered because
- 22:09Speaker 1: they cannot be asked because asking a black person anything
- 22:12Speaker 1: or expecting them to explain or justify any claim they
- 22:14Speaker 1: make at any point for any reason is racist. And,
- 22:18Speaker 1: you know, and more ethically problematic than the Holocaust, I
- 22:22Speaker 1: would even say. The article finally ends on a melancholy note,
- 22:26Speaker 1: recounting the very sparsely attended mask optional Saturday night that
- 22:30Speaker 1: followed this meeting. And here's what it says. Quote, just
- 22:34Speaker 1: after midnight, one patron is left at the bar, a
- 22:36Speaker 1: regular who works at the Mexican restaurant next door. She
- 22:40Speaker 1: wonders aloud about holding a Lady Gaga themed night. But
- 22:44Speaker 1: Mixie demurs. Gaga is canceled, she says. Gaga is Zionist.
- 22:51Speaker 1: I don't know who Mixie is or why she sounds
- 22:52Speaker 1: like a caveman here. Gaga canceled. Gaga bad. Gaga Zionist.
- 22:58Speaker 1: Gaga make Mixie sad. Maybe that was just a transcription error.
- 23:02Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 23:04Speaker 1: Maybe there really is a missing link and you can
- 23:06Speaker 1: find it at a lesbian bar in Massachusetts, which actually
- 23:09Speaker 1: wouldn't be all that surprising.
- 23:10Speaker 2: Who knows? But here's the final paragraph.
- 23:13Speaker 1: Quote,' The DJ is still playing EDM and Mattelian is
- 23:16Speaker 1: alone on the checkered dance floor making pensive, graceful loops
- 23:20Speaker 1: on the stripper pole. KN95 mask in place. Mattelian doesn't
- 23:25Speaker 1: expect the conflict at last ditch to end soon. She
- 23:28Speaker 1: plans to cooperatize the bar so she doesn't bear so
- 23:31Speaker 1: much financial liability.' but that will come with its own challenges.
- 23:34Speaker 1: And the discord about masking is unlikely to go away.
- 23:37Speaker 1: But it comes with the territory, she says. There's conflict,
- 23:40Speaker 1: but we just hope that there's more repair than conflict.
- 23:43Speaker 1: That's the price you pay to be in community, Battalion says.
- 23:48Speaker 1: I have to say, there's something depressing about all of this.
- 23:54Speaker 1: Not because I feel bad for this woman or anyone
- 23:56Speaker 1: else involved in the story, but because the picture of
- 23:59Speaker 1: a sad lesbian in a COVID mask Tears streaming from
- 24:04Speaker 1: her eyes, somberly gyrating on a stripper pole in an
- 24:09Speaker 1: empty lesbian bar while EDM music blasts from the speakers
- 24:14Speaker 1: is maybe the funniest single image that it's possible to imagine.
- 24:20Speaker 1: That mournful stripper pole performance may in fact be the
- 24:23Speaker 1: most hilarious event to ever occur. Have you ever heard
- 24:27Speaker 1: of anything funnier than a depressed lesbian in a surgical
- 24:30Speaker 1: mask weeping because the other lesbians accused her of genociding
- 24:35Speaker 1: the disabled as she performs a doleful routine on a
- 24:38Speaker 1: stripper pole in the middle of an empty dance floor
- 24:41Speaker 1: at midnight?
- 24:44Speaker 2: I haven't.
- 24:46Speaker 1: I don't think I ever will. Which means it's all
- 24:49Speaker 1: downhill comedically from here. And it demonstrates again that satire
- 24:54Speaker 1: is impossible. I cannot satirize these people because in my
- 24:57Speaker 1: wildest and most demented imagination, I never would have thought
- 25:02Speaker 1: to end.
- 25:03Speaker 2: The story that way.
- 25:04Speaker 1: In fact, I don't think I could have invented most
- 25:06Speaker 1: of the details of this story. It's not possible to
- 25:10Speaker 1: exaggerate these people for comedic effect. It's not possible to
- 25:13Speaker 1: take their logic to a more cartoonish extreme than they
- 25:16Speaker 1: have already taken it themselves. And there's something kind of
- 25:20Speaker 1: tragic about that. In a weird way, I now know
- 25:25Speaker 1: how our friend Mattelian must have felt while she was
- 25:29Speaker 1: grimly twirling on that sad, forlorn stripper pole. The sense
- 25:34Speaker 1: of mourning, of confusion, of not knowing where to go
- 25:37Speaker 1: from here. I feel a kinship with her. We've both
- 25:42Speaker 1: lost something through all of this. She lost her dreams
- 25:45Speaker 1: of having a bustling lesbian bar filled with vibrant and
- 25:48Speaker 1: strange and unsightly creatures resembling the Star Wars cantina scene.
- 25:53Speaker 1: And I lost my dream of ever being able to
- 25:55Speaker 1: mock these people more hilariously or effectively than they already
- 25:59Speaker 1: mock themselves. So we are in the same boat in
- 26:03Speaker 1: many ways. It almost makes me want to perform a
- 26:07Speaker 1: grieving ritual on the dance floor, but I fear that
- 26:10Speaker 1: would be an act of ableist appropriation. So instead, I
- 26:13Speaker 1: will just say that the last ditch lesbian bar and
- 26:16Speaker 1: its owner are and its other owner off in clown school,
- 26:20Speaker 1: and Noir, the black lesbian who's maybe or maybe not
- 26:23Speaker 1: actually a man, and for that matter, Disco the Clown,
- 26:26Speaker 1: God bless him, and everybody else involved in this story
- 26:29Speaker 1: at any level are all today canceled.