Latest / Daily Influence / 714. The Power of “Now What?”: Leading Yourself Through Change with Intention
Transcript
- 0:10[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
- 0:14[SPEAKER_00]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
- 0:19[SPEAKER_00]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
- 0:27[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IA Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
- 0:32[SPEAKER_01]: Be sure to follow, subscribe, and share Daily Influence with someone who could use a little extra positivity today.
- 0:39[SPEAKER_01]: And make us part of your Daily routine, whether it's during your commute, on a walk, or an quiet momentous for you, because you're influenced matters.
- 0:48[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence.
- 0:50[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host, Greg Kaleno.
- 0:51[SPEAKER_01]: Today, I'm honored to welcome someone who has helped thousands of professionals navigate pivotal moments of change with clarity, courage, and intention.
- 1:00[SPEAKER_01]: Laura Burman forking is a pioneer in the coaching industry, a TEDx speaker, and the CEO of Inner Coach Inc. She's widely known for helping people answer one powerful question.
- 1:12[SPEAKER_01]: Now what?
- 1:14[SPEAKER_01]: through her coaching, writing, and speaking, Laura and Powers individuals to step into their next chapter with confidence, alignment, and purpose.
- 1:26[SPEAKER_01]: Making her a beautiful example of responsible influence and action, Laura, I am so glad to have you here.
- 1:32[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence.
- 1:34[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Lord of ground our listeners.
- 1:36[SPEAKER_01]: Could you share a bit about your background and what led you to where you are today?
- 1:40[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
- 1:41[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it's kind of an unconventional background.
- 1:44[SPEAKER_02]: I went college.
- 1:46[SPEAKER_02]: I'll go back that far because my parents wouldn't let me be a theater major.
- 1:49[SPEAKER_02]: I was a communications major with all the other frustrated actors.
- 1:54[SPEAKER_02]: And then went off to New York City to pursue my Broadway dreams.
- 1:57[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to be a musical theater.
- 1:59[SPEAKER_02]: And it was going relatively well, but I still spent half my time waiting on tables and doing all those other odd jobs and became disillusioned and depressed to tell you the truth and I had a big depression on the other side of that depression was a three year big hiccup.
- 2:18[SPEAKER_02]: I had an intuitive inkling to call an old acting mentor of mine and he'd become a coach and never heard of such a thing.
- 2:24[SPEAKER_02]: I was telling him I may want to do something else, but I don't know what else I would do in my life.
- 2:28[SPEAKER_02]: So I followed this coach down the path and then I became one of the first trained coaches in the United States and one of the founders of the International Coaching Federation, which is the largest body that exists to credential this profession now 30 some odd years later.
- 2:43[SPEAKER_02]: And so I kind of was at the burgeoning for a front of a new profession and how it morphed into helping people figure out what they want to do with their life.
- 2:54[SPEAKER_02]: It was after 9-11 that, you know, my phone went dead for a couple of days as the world was shaken and within four days after 9-11.
- 3:03[SPEAKER_02]: I was getting so many incoming calls for people saying anything can happen.
- 3:07[SPEAKER_02]: I have to take the back burner dream and put it on the front burner, you know, life is too unpredictable.
- 3:12[SPEAKER_02]: I got a little bit for now.
- 3:14[SPEAKER_02]: And that's how career coaching became my my now what methodology came out of that.
- 3:20[SPEAKER_02]: And the whole 20 years that I've spent doing that came out of 911.
- 3:25[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, you know, your journey reflects intentional choices in moments of self-awareness, something we often talk about the Iintene series.
- 3:34[SPEAKER_01]: You know, in the Iintene, we emphasize that we responsible influence because begins with self-awareness.
- 3:40[SPEAKER_01]: How did understanding yourself, your values, strengths, even your doubts, shape the way you lead and influence others.
- 3:49[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean, it's a constant journey of being, you know, it's a constant journey of evolution mean you never stop growing you can you know as human beings are always looking for that next thing or the now what and you know you're you're evolving and as long as you're willing to face some of the darker quarters over here being.
- 4:07[SPEAKER_02]: you keep moving forward.
- 4:11[SPEAKER_02]: And so I've always been one to invite it, you know, when there's a hiccup or an upset or something bad, you know, go back to therapy, check it out, you know, see what's going on or, you know, have that difficult conversation.
- 4:23[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, I kind of look at it as the
- 4:33[SPEAKER_02]: press precious pearl.
- 4:36[SPEAKER_02]: And so we need to take the irritants and take the sand and swallow the dust and come out on the other end better, hopefully.
- 4:45[SPEAKER_02]: But it takes, you know, takes constant work and it doesn't have to be horrible.
- 4:50[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it can be joyful.
- 4:53[SPEAKER_01]: In a self-awareness often shows that most clearly in moments of real connection.
- 4:59[SPEAKER_01]: Can you share a moment or experience where you realize you made a positive impact on someone's life and how that moment reinforced the work you do today?
- 5:07[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I'm really lucky to be in the position to pretty consistently affect other people's lives because that's what I do every day.
- 5:16[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm thinking of a particular phone call that I got from somebody who had been in an audience when I spoke somewhere.
- 5:23[SPEAKER_02]: They had not come up to speak to me after the event.
- 5:26[SPEAKER_02]: I did not know them.
- 5:28[SPEAKER_02]: And somehow five years later, I'm on the phone with them and they're like, because of what you said at that conference five years ago, I changed my life in the following way.
- 5:37[SPEAKER_02]: And she had been a corporate executive and she sold everything to,
- 5:41[SPEAKER_02]: by a farm in North Carolina and created into a retreat center and, you know, it's just mind blowing that I said something that made all of that happen and, you know, I wasn't even a part of it, you know what I mean, it was just that it just makes you very conscious and aware of like the ripple effect that you can have and how it is a big responsibility.
- 6:05[SPEAKER_02]: You know, even fighting over a parking spot in a mall crowd and mall parking lot could affect somebody's life.
- 6:11[SPEAKER_02]: So watch what you're doing.
- 6:15[SPEAKER_01]: Influences all around us is in every little step that we take along the way or anything that we say so you sound like five years ago you had a positive influence on her.
- 6:24[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, it's pretty amazing.
- 6:28[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so I mean, and I get gifts occasionally from people, like, here's the book that I wrote because of what I overheard you say on an airplane.
- 6:35[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, what, you know, it's humbling.
- 6:39[SPEAKER_02]: It really is humbling, it makes you aware that we all have a ripple effect.
- 6:45[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you don't have to be on a stage to do so.
- 6:48[SPEAKER_02]: It's just how you interact every day with people and you have that choice.
- 6:51[SPEAKER_02]: Like, do you want to be a good influencer?
- 6:55[SPEAKER_02]: I was going to say two four letter words and I held them back.
- 6:59[SPEAKER_02]: But you want to dump on people there.
- 7:01[SPEAKER_02]: There's a four letter word that's not so bad.
- 7:06[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you're always on a stage.
- 7:08[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that example you just shared about the airplane and someone overheard your conversation.
- 7:12[SPEAKER_01]: So essentially,
- 7:14[SPEAKER_01]: you're doing your dream of being on a stage.
- 7:17[SPEAKER_01]: You're always on a stage having positive influence on people or negative teachers.
- 7:22[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that was, you know, when I had this mental breakdown of my acting career not going the way I wanted it.
- 7:27[SPEAKER_02]: 10 years later in hindsight.
- 7:30[SPEAKER_02]: I realized just what you're saying, that the real reason I wanted to be an actor wasn't so much the applause in the fun of being somebody else and all that, but it was because I wanted people to be moved by something they saw on the stage.
- 7:42[SPEAKER_02]: So like that analogy for my life of that I move I still am doing that it's just in a different form.
- 7:50[SPEAKER_02]: You know, that's not lost on me.
- 7:53[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, now the world is your stage versus the actual physical stage on Roger.
- 7:58[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
- 7:59[SPEAKER_01]: And a theater.
- 8:01[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, uh, those moments, you know, often become anchors, especially when navigating change or on search and team, your work focuses on helping people navigate transition points.
- 8:11[SPEAKER_01]: The now what moments from a responsible influence perspective, how can leaders move through these transitions while staying grounded at the
- 8:21[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you have to take stock, right, you have to make sure that you still are in touch with those through lines.
- 8:26[SPEAKER_02]: I call it your life blueprint.
- 8:27[SPEAKER_02]: Like the things that are the values, you know, your needs, the things that are truly you in your talents, you know, they you keep that through line even while the chaos is going on around you.
- 8:39[SPEAKER_02]: And if you can remember that, then you're not influenced by the changing landscape constantly, you know, we, we are leading right now through.
- 8:50[SPEAKER_02]: You know, very turbulent times, you know, you don't even get a chance to adjust to one change before there's another.
- 8:56[SPEAKER_02]: So it's constantly, you know, taking stock, taking inventory of yourself and, you know, actually making your world really small as to the things that you can control, which is your behavior and how you're being and.
- 9:09[SPEAKER_02]: who you're being and how you're reacting to others.
- 9:13[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, it is within our power, even though there's so much stuff that's out of our control going on around this.
- 9:21[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that makes sense.
- 9:22[SPEAKER_01]: You know, one of our core messages in the I&T series is that when individuals take responsibility for their own growth, the entire team benefits.
- 9:32[SPEAKER_01]: What advice would you give to leaders who want to strengthen their teams
- 9:39[SPEAKER_02]: That's paramount is first doing your own in a work because it's going to spray out on everybody, whether you do the work or not.
- 9:46[SPEAKER_02]: So if you do the work, you've got a better result.
- 9:49[SPEAKER_02]: But it's also not taking less from people, not settling for less from them.
- 9:54[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not saying, you know, your hard nose driver, but there are ways to bring out the best in people that are not damaging.
- 10:01[SPEAKER_02]: And you know, when
- 10:05[SPEAKER_02]: When I get the opportunity to be on stage, I'm often speaking about coaching skills as a management style, like as a leadership style of asking questions, growing the answers out of people instead of giving the answers to them, making people do a little of the work so that they're blossoming and evolving and becoming that parole.
- 10:24[SPEAKER_02]: Even if you're, you know, I want you to be an irritant in the oyster, but a positive irritant.
- 10:28[SPEAKER_02]: How's that?
- 10:29[SPEAKER_01]: I love that, you know, that brings us to the people listening right now who are asking how they can make a difference.
- 10:37[SPEAKER_01]: What message or words of encouragement would you like to share with our listeners who aspire to make a positive difference in their work and their communities or the next chapter of their lives?
- 10:46[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's really it's almost like, you know, there's what to do and what not to do.
- 10:51[SPEAKER_02]: So the what not to do is don't get hooked by the drama, like people have a propensity for drama, you know, it gets them attention, it gets them sympathy.
- 10:59[SPEAKER_02]: They don't mean to be that way sometimes, but not getting hooked by it takes a lot of work, you know, like when someone wants to give you some juicy gossip and you're like.
- 11:09[SPEAKER_02]: you know, how do I not take in this gossip and yet not make this person feel bad that they're gossiping, right?
- 11:14[SPEAKER_02]: So that that fine line of like, well, tell me something good about them, you know, change the subject, take the higher road.
- 11:20[SPEAKER_02]: So the two do is constantly choosing the, you know, take the higher road, how can you elevate the conversation, how can you elevate the situation, you know, without having to be a raw raw cheerleader, but truly, whether it be through a question
- 11:39[SPEAKER_01]: That is great advice, Laura.
- 11:41[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, experience, and grounded perspectives on influence.
- 11:47[SPEAKER_01]: Your work remind us that leadership is in about having all the answers.
- 11:51[SPEAKER_01]: It's about asking the right questions and moving forward with intention.
- 11:56[SPEAKER_01]: If our listeners want to get in touch with you, what's the best way to do so?
- 12:00[SPEAKER_02]: If you Google Laura Burman forking, if you can spell it, L-A-U-R-A-B-R-M-N-F-R-T-G-A-N-G. .com, but you can just Google my name and you'll find me.
- 12:10[SPEAKER_02]: If you find Laura Burman, that could be Dr. Laura Burman, the sex doctor, so no, I'm not her.
- 12:15[SPEAKER_02]: Although I've been getting male for her since the 90s, but Laura Burman forking.com, that's the best way.
- 12:23[SPEAKER_02]: Or LinkedIn.
- 12:24[SPEAKER_01]: Great.
- 12:25[SPEAKER_01]: We'll put that information in the show notes.
- 12:27[SPEAKER_01]: Laura, thank you so much for being with us on daily influence.
- 12:31[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
- 12:33[SPEAKER_01]: And to our listeners, thank you for tuning in to Daily Influence.
- 12:36[SPEAKER_01]: If today's conversation resonated with you, take a moment to reflect on where you may be standing at right now at what point and how your influence when users responsibly can create meaningful impact.
- 12:49[SPEAKER_01]: And share it with someone who could use a little positivity today.
- 12:52[SPEAKER_01]: Remember, small actions create Bing and Mac.
- 12:55[SPEAKER_01]: Keep showing up leading and growing one data time.
- 12:57[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, stay inspired and keep having a positive, responsible, and fluent.
- 13:02[SPEAKER_01]: Bye-bye.