Latest / Inspiration and Transformation / Tips for a Better Night Sleep

Transcript

Tips for a Better Night Sleep · Inspiration and Transformation

0:04
Welcome to inspiration and transformation from the banks of the Gunga with Sadvi Bagwati Saraswati,
0:11
an American Sanyasi living at the parmarth Nikitan Ashram in Rishikesh, India.
0:16
Sadvi is President of the Divine Shakti Foundation, a charitable organization bringing education,
0:23
vocational training, upliftment and empowerment programs to women and children. Sadvi is also
0:29
Secretary General of the Global Interfaith Wash Alliance and director of the world famous International
0:35
Yoga Festival. Joined the musings of an American Sanyasi as Sadvi shares the wisdom
0:40
and teachings of her Guru, His Holiness Pujiaswami Chinnant Saraswatiji, Welcome everyone to
0:51
inspiration and transformation from the holy banks of the Sacred Gunga River in the land
1:02
of Rishakesh, India. Do you have any tips for how I can get
1:11
a better night's sleep? It's so it's so beautiful because with the questions that
1:29
come in sut sung, I always say there's no such thing as a wrong
1:37
question, because sometimes people feel they feel shy, they worry. Maybe my
1:45
questions silly. Maybe it's stupid, Maybe it's wrong, And I always emphasize
1:53
there's no such thing as a wrong question, as long is it something that
2:00
is deeply important to you in your life. That such songs not a time
2:09
about philosophical debates. It's not a time for being in our heads and intellectual
2:19
questions of what's the semantic difference between this word and that word? But it's
2:25
a time of diving deep into truth so that we can live free from suffering,
2:38
free from ignorance. And yet occasionally there are questions that arise that aren't
2:50
exactly on that normal level that we tend to talk on, but nonetheless actually
2:57
are really important because because we are spiritual beings having a human experience in human
3:09
bodies, and those bodies are the mediums that we use for our spiritual experience.
3:20
If I couldn't sit and close my eyes and meditate, I wouldn't have
3:25
the experiences that I have in meditation. If my back were killing me in
3:32
such a way that whether I sat on the ground, on a chair,
3:37
on a couch, that sitting in any way caused me so much pain,
3:45
well, it would be really hard to ignore that pain or to be free
3:53
of that pain enough that I was able to have the types of spiritual experiences
4:00
that I have sitting in meditation in the same way when our physical body is
4:08
sick. Many of us have discovered that it's a lot easier to drag a
4:16
healthy body out of bed early in the morning to meditate than it is to
4:23
drag a sick body out of bed early in the morning to meditate. That
4:28
there's there's a pull of the sick body that says, and it's human,
4:36
it's part of the human experience. No, it doesn't want to cook food,
4:42
and no, it doesn't want to get up and meditate. It just
4:46
wants to lie in bed. And so this is where all of the spiritual
4:53
traditions emphasize care for the body in different ways, and in our Sanathan darma,
5:02
I mean, we've got a whole emphasis from a practice of yoga,
5:09
practice of pranium, science of irivaid. It's all about keeping the physical body,
5:18
the energetic body as it flows through the physical body, healthy so that
5:26
we have the very best chance to be able to use this body as a
5:34
medium for awakening in the same way if we're not sleeping. So this was
5:42
all a build up to the answer to the question of do you have any
5:46
tips on how I can get a better night's sleep. Well, when you
5:55
wake up from not having a good night's sleep, it's not simply a matter
6:00
of feeling a little groggy or a little cranky. There's actually a lot of
6:08
science. I've got a science background, which probably many of you know but
6:15
some may not know. And I love science, and I love the way
6:19
that our brains and the science of the world, the physics, the biology,
6:26
how all of that overlaps with spiritual teachings. So what we know now
6:34
scientifically is that not sleeping is literally the equivalent of being drunk. Now,
6:45
I forget the exact numbers and the exact glasses of alcohol, but there's lots
6:51
of statistics around. If you get less than a certain number of hours of
6:58
sleep, or if you go more than a certain number of days getting fewer
7:04
than a certain number of hours of sleep, your cognitive abilities are literally just
7:13
as bad as if you were drunk. The research came to play around things
7:21
like truck drivers who are on the road for many days at a time and
7:27
cause all kinds of accidents, and so the research was done proving that these
7:32
exhausted truck drivers are actually just as dangerous to themselves and others as drunk drivers.
7:42
But I take that research in a different way as well, which is,
7:47
if we're going to follow a path of yan yoga, a path of
7:54
wisdom, if we are going to be introspecting, who am I? If
8:01
we're looking for wisdom rather than ignorance, and we are so tired that we
8:11
are essentially chemically drunk, it's a lot harder to grasp wisdom. It's also
8:22
a lot harder to do any of the practices. If you haven't slept well
8:26
and you go to sit for meditation, what happens? Oh, yeah,
8:31
you fall asleep. If you fall asleep, you know, people will ask
8:37
me sometimes what do I do about the fact that I fall asleep in meditation?
8:41
And the answers always get a better night's sleep the night before. You
8:46
know, you're falling asleep in meditation because your body's exhausted. So if we're
8:56
not able to sleep, we're not going to be able to meditate y well,
9:01
We're not going to be able to do yogo well. The body just
9:05
won't have the strength and the vitality that it needs. And cognitively we're drunk,
9:16
which makes our yearning for wisdom a much more challenging experience. So sleep
9:24
is important and tips to getting a better night sleep. The main thing that
9:35
keeps us from sleeping when our bodies are tired is the mind. We're stressed,
9:45
rely in bed, and we're worried about what we have to do.
9:50
We're making to do lists, We're worried about what's going to happen tomorrow or
9:54
next week. We're playing out all kinds of scenarios in our mind, or
10:00
we are worried about that which has already happened. We're replaying conversations we had,
10:09
thinking, oh my god, why did you say that? That was
10:15
so stupid? What are those people going to think about you? Or oh
10:20
my god, how did you do that? Why did you do that?
10:24
That was such a mistake. You're making such a mess of your life.
10:31
These are the types of things that keep tired bodies awake at night, and
10:39
so the best solution to that is a practice of meditation before you sleep.
10:46
You know, we know that staring at your device, whether it's a handheld
10:52
device, whether it's a TV or a computer, the literal blue light that
10:58
it emits shuts off the brains signals for sleep that the blue light signals wake
11:07
up. So we're getting it actually from the light of our devices. And
11:13
of course we're getting it from the stimulation of our devices because we're clicking here,
11:18
clicking here, watch now, watch now, watch now, and so
11:22
our brains are getting overstimulated. We're angry, we're upset, we're triggered.
11:31
I mean, that's what drives the algorithms of social media. We know that
11:35
now, So get off your device. Get off your device at least an
11:45
hour before you sleep, spend that time meditating, reading, Read a book.
11:58
You know those things with paper and they're bound, got covers. The
12:03
statistics around how many people read books these days is heartbreaking. Heartbreaking. Again,
12:13
I can't remember the exact statistics, but it's something like seventy percent of
12:20
people have not read a book this year. Yeah, I mean, just
12:24
heartbreaking statistics. Read a book. Read a book that's inspiring. Read a
12:35
book that brings you joy. Read a book that gives you a deep dive
12:39
into another culture another time. It doesn't have to be hard core spiritual teachings.
12:48
Could be a novel takes you into some other beautiful experience, awareness,
12:54
time, whatever it may be. But something that is bringing you into that
13:03
space of where you want to be before you go to sleep. Don't read
13:07
murder mysteries, don't read spine novels. Read things that are putting you into
13:18
the mindset of where you want your mind to be. That's the most powerful
13:26
thing. And then, of course there's all the very simple things that we
13:31
know, but they bear repeating, just in terms of for example, don't
13:35
have a heavy meal late at night. It's awful for your digestion. Eat
13:39
early, lay off the caffeine. I mean, all the same stuff that
13:46
Google could tell you, but it's worth remembering because when things seem so simple,
13:54
we tend to ignore them. We tend to go out and buy hundred
13:58
dollars contraptions that are going to, you know, put our brains into a
14:03
certain wave state. We go out and we buy thousand dollars mattresses that are
14:09
gonna, you know, make us sleep better. I remember a few years
14:13
ago I was driving through Harridoir, which is most of you know, a
14:20
city quite near here. But I was driving from a very very rural jungle
14:26
area behind the city of Harridor. And as I was driving through there,
14:35
there was a man. It was just village India. You would have no
14:39
idea that you were five to seven kilometers from a city as big as Harrydoor.
14:43
And there was a man lying in front of his shop. He had
14:48
a little shop, and in front of the shop he had a little bed.
14:52
And this must have been I don't know, noon, one o'clock in
14:56
the afternoon, maybe two. And the guy's lying on a bed and basically
15:01
the edge of the road and he's got his shop and then a little space
15:07
in front of the shop, and then the road and he's essentially lying on
15:11
the edge of the road, fast asleep. People are walking by, there's
15:16
dogs, there's cars. He's fast asleep. Ten minutes later we enter into
15:28
the industrial area of Horrid, where it called Sidcool, and it could be
15:33
the industrial area anywhere in the world. I mean, big buildings, looks
15:39
just like an industrial area and its factories and its offices and buildings and people
15:46
rushing rushing across the street in there, you know, suits and ties and
15:54
office gear and briefcases and rushing, rushing, rushing, And I had this
16:00
moment of realizing what's actually development. Right, we consider this area developed and
16:14
the early area undeveloped, or are euphemistically developing, And yet what kind of
16:22
development have we created where everybody's rushing around and no one can sleep. This
16:30
guy, undeveloped, has no trouble sleeping at all. He doesn't need a
16:36
thousand dollar mattress, he doesn't need a few hundred dollars pair of headphones that
16:41
change the brain waves he's having. He just lies down and he sleeps.
16:48
And it really made me rerealize how very simple that which most of suffer from
17:00
me is, how very simple the solutions are. But the solutions that we're
17:06
being given are solutions that are so complex because they buy into the problem.
17:11
Right now, in order to sleep, I can't sleep because I've got these
17:15
endless desires that are never fulfilled. And so I'm stressed because my desires aren't
17:22
being fulfilled. But now what am I being told in order to sleep?
17:27
Oh, the answer is thousand dollars mattress, three hundred dollars, a pair
17:33
of special headphones, this and that, Well, it just feeds into the
17:40
whole problem. Now I can't sleep because I don't have the right mattress.
17:47
Now i can't sleep because I'm too poor to buy the headphones. If we
17:56
just went back to a bit of simplicity. Endure day as close to when
18:03
the sun goes down as you can rely on artificial light is infrequently and minimally
18:14
as possible. Meditate, read, sleep early. The last great tip that
18:26
goes along with this is get up early. What most of us do is
18:30
when we can't go to sleep. Let's say we decide, okay, I'm
18:33
going to go to sleep early nine thirty. I'm in my bed, but
18:38
of course I'm wired. I've been on my phone until thirty seconds ago.
18:47
My brain is wired. It's hours before I'm used to going to sleep.
18:52
So I lie in bed, can't sleep, can't sleep, can't sleep,
18:56
and so it take my alarm, which originally I had set for five in
19:03
the morning because I'm going to get up early and meditate. But now when
19:07
nine thirty becomes ten thirty becomes eleven thirty becomes midnight, I realize, well,
19:15
I need more than five hours of sleep, and so I turn off
19:18
my alarm instead, leave the alarm set. Even if you end up with
19:30
not enough sleep that night, get up anyway, start your practice anyway,
19:37
because then that night I guarantee you at nine thirty you're going to be tired.
19:44
But if you turn off the alarm every night because you're not able to
19:48
fall asleep, and then you sleep until eight in the morning. Well,
19:52
obviously you're not going to be able to go to sleep at nine thirty at
19:55
night. So set an alarm for whatever time you want to get up in
20:00
the morning, and then get up regardless of when you went to sleep,
20:07
and slowly, slowly, what you will find is your whole body realigns with
20:12
the sun and it's such a beautiful and healthy way to live. Then,
20:19
slowly, slowly, you don't even need the alarm because your body is just
20:25
attuned with the sun. You're listening to OTRFM, part of the IOM Radio
20:33
Network. Being a radio host on iomfm allows you to build your show on
20:38
a rich platform with the power of the Internet, to fulfill your outreach goals
20:42
and connect with a very specialized and global online audience unlimited by time and distance.
20:48
Om Time's Radio will provide you with web relevance, a recognizable, conscious
20:53
brand, and with the standard of excellence that has accompanied every single Circle of
21:00
Hearts. Radio is a sanctuary on the airwaves. Join me Grandmother Elia in
21:07
the Circle on Sunday two pm Eastern as I share information to both enlighten and
21:11
nurse your soul. Hi, this is Christina Ricci with RAIN. Every two
21:19
minutes, another American is sexually assaulted. If you or someone you know has
21:25
been sexually assaulted, you are not alone. Help is just a call or
21:30
click away through the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Please call one eight hundred six
21:36
five six HOPE. That's Hope, or visit RAIN dot org. That's r
21:41
AI NN dot RG. Brought to you by RAIN and this station. Welcome
21:48
back to inspiration and transformation. I'm so glad to have you all back here
21:56
with me. I am totally confused about what to do with my life.
22:03
How do we find the true purpose of life? The dilemma for most of
22:12
us is an over emphasis on the what and not nearly enough emphasis on the
22:23
how and the who. For just a moment, stop worrying about the what
22:36
are you going to do? Shift your question who am I? When I
22:49
don't know who I am, then I have no way of knowing what to
22:56
do. Then I'm literally simply taking keys from what society, the culture,
23:03
social media influencers. I follow my friends, my family, what they say.
23:12
In order to really know what to do, I have to know who
23:15
I am. So begin with a question of who. Tell yourself, I'm
23:23
not gonna worry about the what for right now. I'm just gonna worry about
23:30
who. And in your meditation, in your contemplation, as you're walking,
23:40
as you're driving, as you're cooking, as you're eating, as you're doing
23:45
dishes, as you're doing whatever you do, just keep asking yourself, who
23:52
am I? Who am I? Who am I? There's a beautiful practice
24:03
of meditation called nat nati. Does not this not that I am not the
24:11
clothes I wear. I'm not the skin beneath the clothes. I'm not the
24:18
blood beneath the skin. I'm not the organs. You go through all of
24:23
what you are, not until there's really nothing left to name. Not my
24:33
thoughts, clearly, because our thoughts are just chemical and electrical patterns of behavior
24:41
in our brain. We can artificially induce thoughts, give people drugs, stimulate
24:49
their brain in a certain way, They're gonna think in a certain way.
24:56
So if my thoughts are chemical and electrical, well I'm not chemistry or electricity.
25:03
They're not who I am. And slowly, slowly, slowly, as
25:12
you realize what you are, not that space of who you are. Suddenly
25:26
it just becomes apparent. So focus on who, then focus on how.
25:37
So whatever you are doing, you are cooking, you are cleaning, you
25:44
are walking, you are waiting tables, you are filing, you are stuffing
25:48
envelopes, you are designing a website, you are sweeping the floor, you
25:55
are doing whatever you may be doing, How are you doing it? Are
26:03
you doing it mindlessly? Is your mind saying, oh my god, I
26:07
can't believe this is so stupid. I got stuck doing this. When I
26:14
find my real purpose, then I won't be stuck doing these stupid things.
26:18
Then someone else will do those things, because clearly it's someone else's purpose to
26:23
sweep the floor. Or as you're doing those are you doing them in the
26:36
spirit of mindfulness of awareness? Are you able to be fully aware of what
26:48
it feels like to actually have warm, soapy water on your hands as you're
26:56
doing the dishes? Are you able to feel what it feels like as your
27:00
foot touches the ground when you walk? Are you able to be aware of
27:07
the muscles in your arms as they rise up to put in a letter into
27:15
an envelope? Are you able to be so aware of the microflow of energy
27:25
through you that what you're doing starts to become irrelevant because you are just so
27:33
anchored in that awareness that one minute you're doing this, another moment you're doing
27:40
something else. A third moment you're doing a third thing. But the what
27:44
becomes irrelevant because the awareness is constant and you're anchored not in oh this is
27:55
boring, oh now this is fun, but you're anchored in simple people awareness,
28:02
not judgment, but just awareness. So focus on who, then how,
28:17
and when you've done both of those for a few months. I'm not
28:22
talking years, I'm not talking lifetimes. Just give yourself a few months of
28:29
stopping to worry about what, focus on who and how. And what I
28:37
am very sure of is that in the stillness, in the spaciousness, in
28:48
the openness, in the availability of you to the universe, that's suddenly the
28:57
what we'll make itself now, that suddenly what your dharma is in this moment.
29:11
And of course, we don't only have one dharma in our lifetime.
29:15
It's not a matter of finding that one thing, like finding that one soul
29:19
mate. We have many different dharmas even at one time. If a dharma
29:29
is a child to your parents. You have a dharma as a parent to
29:33
your children. You have a dharma to do whatever your work is, regardless
29:41
of whether you love it or hate it, but to do it sincerely.
29:45
We have a dharma to our society, our community, to mother Earth.
29:53
And then of course we've got our our individual dharmas of the moment. And
30:00
they're not rocket science. They haven't been sent to us in some kind of
30:07
uncrackable code. It's just that we're not quiet and still and open enough to
30:15
hear them. So instead of driving yourself crazy with the what, focus on
30:25
the who and the how, and let the rest just make itself. Now.
30:34
This is OTRFM, part of the IOM Radio Network. Home Times Magazine
30:41
is one of the leading online content providers of positivity, wellness, and personal
30:47
empowerment of philanthropic organization. Their net proceeds are funneled to support worldwide charity initiatives
30:52
via Humanity Healing International. Through their commitment to creating community and providing conscious content,
31:00
aspire to uplift humanity on a global scale, Home Times co creating a
31:04
more conscious lifestyle. Do you have time to read that inspiring book or that
31:11
blog post you've been meaning to get to in your busy world? How do
31:15
you improve yourself and keep your life going. I'm Lisa Kay and my Between
31:19
Heaven and Earth Radio show can transform your life just by listening. Be uplifted
31:26
with inspiring topics, positive stories and ideas that really work. Between Heaven and
31:32
Earth Radio is conscious living for your soul every Wednesday at four pm Eastern Time.
31:40
Like Baldwin, with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I grew
31:44
up loving circuses and other traveling animals shows, but it never occurred to me
31:48
what life might be like for the animals. Training wild animals to do things
31:52
they don't understand takes. Force routine discipline with a hook or whip with the
31:57
heel of a boot shows the animal exactly who's the boss. Don't patronize animal
32:02
acts. Please contact People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals five seven six two
32:07
two pet a. Welcome back. This is Sadvi Bagavati Saraswati with inspiration and
32:19
transformation. So how do we combine spirituality in our normal lives, especially when
32:27
we leave this heavenly place and go back? So the first and most powerful
32:37
way you can imagine this is a common question when people leave. The first
32:43
and most important way is make sure that when you're here you're really letting yourself
32:49
be changed. Only then will it go home with you. If it's only
32:54
as deep as a sun tan, you'll lose it on the airplane home.
33:02
Let that change within you go really deep. It's very easy to feel peaceful
33:10
when you're away from the stresses and strains of your normal life, but you
33:15
would get that lying on a beach drinking pina coladas. Also, there's something
33:21
very different, deeper, more powerful, more transformative about being here than being
33:31
on a beach sipping pina coladas. But you've got to make sure that that
33:38
actual deep transformation happens, not just oh, I had this nice time away
33:46
from the stress and strain of my normal life. And that's the work that
33:52
you need to do while you're here, is really make sure that that transformation
33:58
is happening inside you, and then when you go back, set up a
34:07
series of things. There's a lot of different ways. Number One, reevaluate,
34:15
and some of this you should do while you're here before you get back.
34:17
It's good work for the plane. Also is really reevaluate how you spend
34:24
your time. Some of it we have no control over it's our jobs.
34:28
We've got to put food on the table. But we've got a lot of
34:35
time in our hands. And the thing you need to think about is how
34:38
are you spending it. What's your choice of ways to spend that time.
34:45
Is it an alignment with your newly transformed self? And if not, then
34:52
plan before you get back what you're going to do differently and write it down.
34:58
Otherwise you get back and you are in the throes of habits, back
35:05
in the throes of Maya. Really make a very concrete plan. These are
35:10
the activities I'm still going to do. These are the activities I'm not going
35:15
to do. So my morning walk with my close friends definitely still going to
35:24
do that, Friday night at the bar, we can skip that. Really
35:31
think about these things so that you know in advance what you're going into and
35:39
then figure out ways to bring your connection into your daily life. Things as
35:46
simple as when you walk, what do most of us do. We're on
35:53
our phones, we're talking on it, or if it's longer, listening to
36:00
some podcast or something. Well, can you take some time that you're just
36:12
with yourself so you're regrounding Because these are what all of these practices need to
36:17
do is they need to reconnect you to the self, who is here right
36:23
now, who's having these experiences. You need to reconnect to her. So
36:30
find opportunities during the day for just a few moments of silence before you eat,
36:40
close your eyes, have a few moments of deeply reconnecting before you drink
36:49
water. And you know you could choose different things. These are just things
36:53
we tend to do a lot, so they're good opportunities. Just close your
37:00
eyes, spend a few minutes reconnecting. Decide that when you're walking you're just
37:06
gonna be with yourself with your breath, reconnecting, chanting amentra, and recognize
37:15
that this presence of the Divine that you feel here exists everywhere. Look for
37:22
it. Make it your daily practice to see whether you can actually see the
37:27
divine in everyone. We know that the Divine is in everyone. Can you
37:35
see it? Just make it your daily practice. It won't be easy,
37:39
that's okay. It's not about how much you succeed. It's not about what
37:43
percentage of people you actually could see the Divine in. It's about an intention
37:49
that instead of looking at them as physical beings fat, thin, tall,
37:54
short, white, black, brown, rather than that. Can you actually
38:05
look in everyone's eyes and see the divine in them, or at least intend
38:09
to. It'll change your entire way of moving through the world. You're checking
38:15
out at the grocery store, can you look in the eyes of the person
38:19
checking you out and see the divine? Instead of thinking, oh my god,
38:23
why is she so slow? Can you actually look look in our eyes
38:31
or his eyes, see the divine and then keep coming back and recharging your
38:39
batteries. This is OTRFM, part of the IOM Radio Network. Home Times
38:49
Magazine is one of the leading online content providers of positivity, wellness, and
38:53
personal empowerment of philanthropic organization. Their net proceeds are funneled to sup port worldwide
39:00
charity initiatives via Humanity Healing International. Through their commitment to creating community and providing
39:06
conscious content, they aspire to uplift humanity on a global scale. Home Times
39:12
co creating a more conscious lifestyle. Do you have time to read that inspiring
39:17
book or that blog post you've been meaning to get to in your busy world?
39:22
How do you improve yourself and keep your life going. I'm Lisa Kay
39:27
and my Between Heaven and Earth Radio show can transform your life just by listening.
39:32
Be uplifted with inspiring topics, positive stories, and ideas that really work
39:38
between Heaven and Earth. Radio is conscious living for your soul every Wednesday at
39:44
four pm Eastern Time. Like Baldwin, with People for the Ethical Treatment of
39:51
Animals. I grew up loving circuses and other traveling animal shows, but it
39:54
never occurred to me what life might be like for the animals. Training wild
40:00
animals to do things they don't understand takes. Force routine discipline with a hook
40:05
or whip with the heel of a boot shows the animal exactly who's the boss.
40:08
Don't patronize animal acts. Please contact People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
40:15
seven five seven six two two peta Welcome back. This is Sadvi Bagavati Saraswati
40:23
with inspiration and transformation. I imagine that if I said to all of you,
40:36
does anyone here have a habit that you would like to stop? That
40:43
most of us would raise our hands, or we could flip it around and
40:46
say, does anyone have a positive habit that they would really like to implement
40:53
in their lives but haven't yet been able to really get it to be become
41:00
a habit? Anything ranging from a beautiful meditation practice to flossing your teeth.
41:09
Right, I mean, how many things are there that we would love to
41:15
make an absolute, un questionable part of our day. But things happen.
41:22
And similarly with the bad habits that we'd like to be free of, this
41:29
is really common. It's not something to feel ashamed of at all. Here
41:36
are the keys. The way that our brain functions is actually very mechanical.
41:45
Most of the time. The overwhelming majority of what happens in our brain happens
41:53
automatically. Now, some of that is just which makes our body go.
42:00
We're breathing, we're digesting, we're able to hold our bodies erect. But
42:07
then there's a lot of the automatic things that have become automatic in our lives.
42:16
So people bite their fingernails or crack their knuckles, or twirl their hair
42:22
or you know, people have all kinds of habits that they're just unconscious of.
42:30
It's not that they're always aware. Oh right now, I'm biting my
42:35
fingernail or I'm twirling my hair. It's become unconscious. Similarly, it happens
42:44
to a lot of us emotionally. Maybe that bad habit is getting angry yelling,
42:51
having temper tantrums. Anybody out there again who's getting wet and who doesn't
42:57
want to be getting wet, feel free to come in. We can always
43:00
if you're happy getting wet, no problem, But just to let you know
43:04
that, well, we'll always scoot in. There's there's no Hindi translation for
43:12
there's no room. There's always room in India. So yeah, I've never
43:19
I've never been in a place where, no matter how packed it looks,
43:24
you can't actually squeeze more people in. So so sometimes those bad habits are
43:34
emotional habits. We get angry, we don't want to, but we do
43:39
before we even know what's happened. We are throwing a temper tantrum, or
43:45
we're yelling, maybe we're even hitting. The very first most important thing to
43:54
do, it's become conscious, because all of these habits happen when we are
44:02
unconscious. I can't stop biting my fingernails or twirling my hair if I'm not
44:10
aware when I'm doing it. I have to first become aware, and similarly
44:21
in terms of the tone of my voice, terms of my action, if
44:28
I'm aware while I'm doing it, fully aware, whether it's drinking alcohol,
44:36
taking drugs, yelling, whatever the habit. Maybe as long as I'm unconsciously
44:45
doing it on autopilot, I don't stand a chance. I have to bring
44:52
in consciousness, and what that means is that in our lives we have to
44:57
practice being aware. It's one of the great gifts that meditation gives us.
45:05
Right when we meditate, sounds very simple. Be aware of your breath.
45:12
You think, what's the big deal, Why is that so complex? Well,
45:15
first of all, it's very hard to maintain for more than about thirty
45:20
seconds at a time without the mind wandering. But as you develop the skill
45:28
of being able to watch that breath without the mind wandering, of being in
45:36
that mindful moment, it actually retrains your brain. That which we gain in
45:45
meditation is not gone when we stand up for meditation. It stays with us.
45:54
As it changes our brain, we change. So meditation teaches us to
46:00
be aware conscious, and that's the first step. The second step is what
46:10
a lot of people do, is they'd make very big resolutions. So say
46:19
I normally get up at nine o'clock in the morning, then I decide from
46:23
tomorrow I'm going to get up at four. It's unlikely it's unlikely that that's
46:34
gonna work. Now, there are some people, and especially if you go
46:37
into a meditation retreat where there's a bell and everybody's got to get up,
46:43
but on your own, it's very difficult to drag a body out of bed
46:50
that's used to getting up at nine at four. And the dilemma is actually
46:55
very deep here because if I make a commitment I'm going to get up at
47:00
four o'clock tomorrow morning, and I don't, I go back to sleep,
47:07
then what happens is my whole sense of of self. So if I make
47:19
a commitment and then I don't do it, well, I've lost the opportunity
47:27
to meditate, to have a new good habit. But something actually much more
47:31
detrimental has also happened, which is I've taught myself I am not someone who
47:40
does what I say I'm going to do. And that identification is actually much
47:50
more harmful for me than not meditating for a day, because now the moment
47:58
that I make any kind of resolution, my mind says, yeah, but
48:01
I don't do them. Yeah, I keep committing, but I don't do
48:06
it. I keep saying I'm going to stop, but I don't, And
48:10
suddenly I become in my own self identification, someone who doesn't do what I
48:20
commit to doing. And so, whether it's stopping a habit or starting a
48:25
habit, either way, bite off a chunk that you can chew. It
48:34
may not be easy, challenge yourself. We're all up to the challenge.
48:39
But bite off a chunk that's manageable. You get up at nine every day,
48:44
okay, start setting the alarm at eight. Don't try to go from
48:49
nine to four. Set an eid. Do that for a few weeks or
48:54
a month, then set it for seven. Do that for another few weeks
49:01
or month, then slowly, slowly, And the benefit of that is that
49:10
suddenly, in your mind you become some one who does what you commit to
49:16
doing. If you are used to eating dessert with every single meal, you're
49:25
used to having snacks, a you candy as snacks and dessert as every meal,
49:30
and suddenly you say no more sugar, well again, it's really unlikely
49:37
that unless a doctor has said you've got such bad diabetes you're going to die,
49:43
that you're actually going to follow it. Instead, just stop having dessert
49:47
with dinner. Keep doing everything else the same. Stop your dessert with dinner.
49:53
Do that for a few weeks, then stop your lunch dessert. Do
50:00
that for another few weeks or a month, then stop the mid afternoon candy
50:06
bar. Do that another few weeks or a month, slowly, slowly,
50:12
such that at the end of several months now you don't even need sugar in
50:16
your tea. But you didn't do it all at once. So that's a
50:22
really important part. And one good way of making sure that you follow up
50:29
is telling people you're going to do it. There's a very powerful psychological compoundent
50:37
about a publicly made resolution. I'm much more likely to cheat on my diet
50:45
if no one knows I'm on a diet. I'm much more likely to keep
50:51
smoking even though I vowed to quit. If no one knows I vowed to
50:54
quit. But if I've publicly stated as of tomorrow, I am not smoking,
51:06
Well, the sheer sense of my own self respect, right, I
51:13
don't want people to say, ah, you're the loser who couldn't couldn't do
51:16
what you said, so do to my own self respect, I'm much more
51:22
likely to keep it. So state your intentions publicly and not everything necessarily deserves
51:30
to be on social media. Sometimes things are private, but be sure that
51:34
you tell at least a few people, people whose opinion of you you respect
51:39
and matter, somebody who you really respect, tell them I've made a decision.
51:46
This is what I'm going to do, and every day I'm going to
51:52
send you a note. Sometimes people come into Satsang and they they vow,
51:57
I'm going to start meditating. Oh, I'm going to stop shouting at people,
52:06
or you know, any kind of bad habit. And I always say,
52:10
message me every day. Just send me a message every day. Every
52:15
day you meditate, message me every day. You made it through the day,
52:21
not shouting at someone, Message me because it gives them that sense that
52:30
someone's watching and paying attention. So those are some tips to do it.
52:39
But what we know about the brain as I began is it functions mostly in
52:46
many ways like an autopilot machine, which means that the first few weeks or
52:52
months are going to be much more difficult once it becomes a habit. Like
53:00
I remember when I gave up sugar. I was never a huge sugar eater,
53:07
but I had sugar in my tea, I had sugar in my milk.
53:10
And it's not that I never touch it, but I've pretty much stopped
53:15
eating it, And in the beginning it was it was difficult, but then
53:22
as the years have gone by, it's become so so much just a part
53:28
of who I am. That you know, there could be a bowl of
53:32
M and m's sitting on my my coffee table where people come and sit for
53:38
weeks, and it just never would even occur to me deep one, but
53:45
that it takes a while for the whole chemistry of the body to recalibrate and
53:52
not keep craving things. So give yourself some time. And if your habit
54:00
it is not something that's chemically related but just action related, know that the
54:06
more times you do an action, the more likely you are to do an
54:10
action. It's a sun Scott, it's an impression. The more times I
54:16
throw a temper tantrum, the more likely I am to throw a temper tantrum.
54:22
The more times I smoke a cigarette after a meal, the more likely
54:24
I am to smoke a cigarette after a meal. It's just it's the way
54:30
that the brain works. But similarly, the more times I flosh my teeth
54:36
before I go to sleep, the more likely I am to flosh my teeth
54:42
before I go to sleep. It becomes a habit. But you've got to
54:47
give yourself those weeks. There's arguments among different camps. I've heard fourteen days,
54:53
I've heard twenty one days, I've heard twenty eight days. But everyone
54:58
agrees it's a matter of a couple of weeks, it's not a matter of
55:01
years, and it just rewires our habits. So just make a commitment,
55:13
bite off a chewable chunk, tell people you're going to do it, and
55:17
then do it, not just because of the habit, but so that when
55:22
you think about yourself, you know I'm someone who does what I say.
55:30
I'm someone who follows through. I'm someone who keeps my commitments and not oh
55:38
yeah, never do anything I say I'm going to do for your own self
55:45
esteem and self worth. Follow through. This brings to a close this hour
55:54
of inspiration and transformation. Thank you so much for joining me. I am
56:02
so glad to be together with you all each week, and I look forward
56:07
to being together again next Thursday, same time on Home Time's Radio