Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Gia & Envy Talk 'Real Life, Real Family,' Parenting Styles; 'Casey Crew,' Trials, Tribulations + More

Transcript

INTERVIEW: Gia & Envy Talk 'Real Life, Real Family,' Parenting Styles; 'Casey Crew,' Trials, Tribulations + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the world knows Dangerous wanting to show to
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: breakfast Club Charlamagne da God.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: Laura le Ross is here, just hilarious? Is here?
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Who's feeling in for envy? Laura l Rosse is feeling
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: in for envy? Is a me filling in? He's here?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I'm here, but she's feeling in?
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a guest today though, because his new book,
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Real Life, Real Family with the Queen of the House
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Gia Casey.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Is out right now.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Will comes like April fifteenth?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Comes April fifteenth?
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, how you feeling?
• 0:29
  Speaker 5: You humbled by being given the opportunity to write a
• 0:34
  Speaker 5: book about something that is the most important thing to me,
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: the thing I'm the most passionate about, the thing that
• 0:42
  Speaker 5: brings me the most joy, family, parenting, my household, our home.
• 0:47
  Speaker 6: So yes, I'm very humbled.
• 0:50
  Speaker 7: This is the second book. Yes, it's amazing. You know what,
• 0:53
  Speaker 7: let's just rewind it back for those who don't.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: Know, who is the case Secret? Where did that name
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: come from? How did y'all get starty?
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Do you remember the KSE crew?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Yes? Our last name? What do you mean?
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: No?
• 1:05
  Speaker 6: No, no, but do you remember how we came up
• 1:07
  Speaker 6: with the name.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: How do we come up with the name.
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: We were doing our first podcast and it was before
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: we were doing like the audio version of the video version.
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: It was just the audio version, and we started the
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: podcast without a name. And we sat there and we
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: kind of was coming up with like different names, and
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: one of us said, well, how about the k C Crew.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: You know, our last name is Casey. We have a
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: whole crew of kids, a whole gaggle.
• 1:29
  Speaker 6: What about the k C Crew.
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: And then people you know, DMed us and emailed and whatnot,
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: and they said, yeah, we love that name.
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: We love that name.
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: So we decided to call ourselves the KC Crew.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Amazing that's where it came about.
• 1:41
  Speaker 8: And whenever you post on social you always hashtag the
• 1:44
  Speaker 8: k C Crew.
• 1:44
  Speaker 6: Yes, V does as well.
• 1:46
  Speaker 8: But one of the things that you guys were really
• 1:47
  Speaker 8: good from the podcast to bringing it online is you
• 1:50
  Speaker 8: pay attention to the comments and the responses.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: Ki.
• 1:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and you guys.
• 1:54
  Speaker 8: Bring them into the podcast, but you also like reflect
• 1:57
  Speaker 8: on them on social media. So I want to read
• 1:59
  Speaker 8: one of the the posts that we pulled in. I
• 2:02
  Speaker 8: thought that this was great. You inspired me. This is
• 2:05
  Speaker 8: someone commenting to you, guys, you inspired me. I wish
• 2:07
  Speaker 8: all parents had this level of intention, planning and vibe.
• 2:10
  Speaker 8: Truth is, most parents, moms are stressed, overworked by trying
• 2:15
  Speaker 8: to make ends meet, in harboring trauma. Therefore, it's passed
• 2:17
  Speaker 8: down to the children. You've passed down light and love
• 2:20
  Speaker 8: because of that and because of what you are, high
• 2:22
  Speaker 8: five to all of the parents during their best and
• 2:25
  Speaker 8: you use that as a moment to talk about like, no,
• 2:27
  Speaker 8: it gets a little crazy over here, but oh yeah,
• 2:30
  Speaker 8: but it's important because when you if you've ever been
• 2:32
  Speaker 8: around your family, it is a lot of love and
• 2:33
  Speaker 8: a lot of light. But I'm sure on inside things
• 2:35
  Speaker 8: get crazy.
• 2:36
  Speaker 5: Well, you know, that's a big misconception. People assume that
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: because you live a certain lifestyle or because you've earned
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: a certain financial status, that you don't have the same
• 2:47
  Speaker 5: problems that they have. You know, in the same comment section,
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: you'll see people like, oh, it's easy when you have money. Oh,
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: you know, like your problems are not our problems.
• 2:57
  Speaker 6: But that is such a misconception.
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: You know, we just got over one of the toughest
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: years of our lives, probably the worst year of our life,
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: and that yeah, the last two years have been and
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: that's a conversation for another day, But we've gone through
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: a lot of trauma, a lot of disappointment, a lot
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: of heartache, a lot of sadness, and things that we
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: had to shield our children from, things that we had
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: to figure out how to keep that brave face and
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: how to not let it affect our family foundation. You know,
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: because that trickle down effect is so real. Your kids
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: know when you're not happy, they know when you're stressed,
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: they know when you're struggling, they know when you're upset
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: with one another, and they receive that energy and they
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: project that energy.
• 3:49
  Speaker 6: And that's something that is.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: Universal because there's not a single family out there that
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: doesn't have trials, tribulations, heartache, setbacks, finance stress is I
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: don't care who you are, you have experienced that. So
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: financial abundance, financial security, even for people that have that,
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: that in and of itself doesn't mean that you're happy.
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: Some of the most miserable people that I know do
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: very very well. It doesn't mean that you come along
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: with the skill set to know how to live a
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: happy life and how to teach your children how to
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: have a happy life. So that comment really really stood
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: out to me because she spoke on the troubles and
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: the trauma and the word trauma that she used, and
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: Rashan will speak on the word trauma. Sometimes he feels
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: as though it's a word that's overused, but it's a
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: word that represents something that so many people endure. The
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: difference now is that we have words to identify how
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: we feel and what we go through, and it's articulated.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: Because when our feelings and our experience says are articulated,
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: then you're able to communicate. People are able to understand you,
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: You're able to understand other people. You're able to have
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: empathy and compassion for other people because now we're all
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: speaking a universal language. Like the word triggered, like the
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: word trauma, like the word gas. You know, these are
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: things that some may think are overused now, but yes,
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: but there is value there. There is value there because
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: now we can see each other, we understand each other.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: When you're trying to create a safe space, you know,
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: how is it to venture into an unsafe space like
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: the comics, Especially when somebody looks on the air every day,
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean, You have an opinion about it.
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: Every day so I read every single comment. I interact.
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: It started when I had a lower follower account. It
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: started because I always felt that if someone follows me,
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: that's an investment in a small invent maybe, but it's
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: an investment that they put into me. And they're looking
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: at my content content, they're looking at my pictures. And
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: you left a comment, I want to respond back to you.
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: I used to respond to almost every comment, you know,
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: but then when my followers went up, I wasn't really
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: able to do that. And that was something that you know,
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: I had to take that on the chin. I wasn't
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: able to. But it's a sign of respect. And you said,
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: why do I do that to myself? Because I'm strong
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: enough to do that. I'm strong enough to do that.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: The comments don't if they are negative, and I have
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: to say, I don't receive a lot of negative comments, thankfully,
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: thank God. But if they are negative, I look at
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: it as insight. I might ask myself, why might someone
• 6:48
  Speaker 5: have that perspective? Why may you have drawn that conclusion?
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: To me?
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: It feeds my mental because I'm a thinker. I'm a
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: deep thinker. I'm all over things. I love to understand people,
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: I love the concepts that kind of creates society. I
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: love to understand cause and effect relationships and things of
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: that nature. So for me, the comments are food and
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: they also bring me happiness when they're good. It lets
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: you know that you're reaching someone whatever it is that
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: you're putting out, because it's in the sense of sharing.
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: There's a lot of things that I don't share.
• 7:22
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: So if I choose to share and it's well received,
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: then that's a good feeling. I think that's why a
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: lot of people are on or part of the reason
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: why a lot of people are on social media, you
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: know what I mean, And I'm strong enough to do so,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: and that's because of the way that I was raised.
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: I was raised to be a very strong and resilient woman.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: It comes directly from my parents, and I'm fortunate in
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: the sense that I can look back and identify things
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: about the way that I was raised that created the individual,
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: the woman, the mother, the wife that I am, and
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: it's for me. It's a very beautiful thing. Both of
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: my parents are no longer here, so to be able
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: to say, wow, when my mother did this every single day,
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: or when she took me here once a week or
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: when she said this to me, and those compliments, and
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: that the way that she fed me and she fed
• 8:18
  Speaker 5: my soul, and the joy that I experienced and the
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: amount of fun that I had as a kid, like
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: I loved my life. And it's not because we were wealthy.
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: We were not.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: We were a middle class family. I'm from Brooklyn, from
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: East Flatbush. We weren't raised, you know, like I'm from
• 8:33
  Speaker 5: an urban area.
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: And it's not.
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: It had nothing to do with money. It had nothing
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: to do with wealth. It had everything to do with
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: what my parents poured into my home and the love
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: that I felt. And that is what we put into
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: writing this book. There's a lot of books that we
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: could have written, you know, so many ideas came out
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: because Real Life for Love was a huge success. It
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: was a national bestseller. So it's I go, you can
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: write book about this. You We said we to write
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: a book about family. It's what we know best. It's
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: what we know best. We've had so many ups, so
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: many downs, so many wins, so many losses, so many
• 9:09
  Speaker 5: things that we thought we were doing right that we weren't.
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: That we had to regroup and make sure that we
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: were balanced, you know. As as a married couple, because
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: when we didn't agree, it's like my way is better,
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: know what my way is better? And this, you know,
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: we have to come to a meeting of the minds. Yeah,
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean. So our relationship, you know,
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: the relationship grew, you know, because we had to learn
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: how to see eye to eye as parents. So there
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: was just there was many, many ups and downs, and
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: we wanted to pour that all into a book, you know.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: We wanted to let everyone know like it's really that
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: village mentality. It's really that like we are a community,
• 9:47
  Speaker 5: especially our black community because I'm black, yes, yeah, yeah,
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: for the record, for the record, some Spanish blood. But
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: it's like I know that you're well aware because you
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: speak to things of this nature often. But our history
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: is being erased in schools and it's being stripped away
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: silently in society. So the foundation starts in our homes.
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: We have to teach children how to identify themselves. We
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: have to teach children that sense of belonging and they
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: have to understand that they come from something meaningful. And
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: if you leave it up to society to teach them that,
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: you're going to wind up with children that are lost,
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: that are overlooked, that don't know how to identify themselves,
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: that get taken advantage of, and that are susceptible to
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: what society wants for them. So for us, our core,
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: our nucleus, our foundation, our home superseds anything else in
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: this world. We put our family first.
• 11:14
  Speaker 7: Would you say that you and and we have two
• 11:18
  Speaker 7: different parenting styles, the more lenient parent.
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: Who was the more lenient parent?
• 11:24
  Speaker 9: It depends what it is like. You know, everybody knows
• 11:27
  Speaker 9: my dad is retired police officer and ex military, so
• 11:30
  Speaker 9: I'm disciplined. I was the yell of the screamer because
• 11:32
  Speaker 9: I said, so is a lot different, Like she wants
• 11:35
  Speaker 9: to know why did you feel that she likes to
• 11:38
  Speaker 9: break down?
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: You don't get it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 7: You're gonna get it by the end of the right exactly.
• 11:44
  Speaker 9: So you got to think, really think before you speak
• 11:46
  Speaker 9: to us, because she's like, all right, well, explain that,
• 11:48
  Speaker 9: like I just said it, just because no, no, no, explain this.
• 11:51
  Speaker 9: But so I'm more like, because I said so, she's
• 11:54
  Speaker 9: more like, well, you can't go to the more because
• 11:56
  Speaker 9: of this, because this could happen. Explain your parenting style
• 11:59
  Speaker 9: mine is my dad was like, no, and you didn't
• 12:01
  Speaker 9: ask why it was what it was.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: You just figured out later. GI is a little different.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: I prefer the explanation.
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: So that's how my parents were with me.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: I knew that my parents were invested in me living
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: a happy, fulfilled and fun life, and we didn't go
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: lightly on the fun. And because I knew that, and
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: my parents never said no.
• 12:27
  Speaker 6: Just for the sake of saying no.
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: Because parents are overworked and they are stressed, and the
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: last thing they want to hear when they walk through
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: the door is.
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: Mommy, can I can you take me here? Can you
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: buy me this? Can we watch this together?
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Can we go?
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: Like slow down?
• 12:40
  Speaker 8: No?
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: And sometimes you say no, you don't even know why
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: you're saying no. That's not a good parenting technique. You
• 12:48
  Speaker 6: really have to take a moment. You have to take
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: a beat.
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: We all have to take a beat to listen to
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: our children and be patient. And because I knew that
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: my parents were invested in me that way, I knew
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: that when they said no, there was a good reason.
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: Because they would never slight me. They would never tell
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: me no because they were too tired. They would never
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: tell me no just because they didn't want to be bothered.
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: So it's like, oh, well, if mommy said no, that
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: means that I'm not supposed to be there, or that
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: means that she genuinely can't take me. And they both
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: would take the time to explain to me, you know, like,
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: you don't want to go to that party in Conye
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: Island because in that neighborhood there's a lot of shooting
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: and da da da, and you're a young girl. And
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: I'll take it a step further. You know what my
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: parents used to do from time to time. They would
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: take me to a party, not the one in Coney Island,
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: but a party and they would park and wait outside
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: for me for two or three hours until I came out.
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: And this was before cell phones and all that stuff.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: My dad had this whole portable TV and he would
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: recline his seat, set the portable TV up on the dashboard,
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: and just watch TV until or whatever it was that
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: he was watching, until I came out. That let me
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: know that my parents rooted for me.
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: They wanted me to enjoy life.
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: So when they told me no, I knew that I
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: had no.
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: Business considering it.
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: Considering whatever it was that I was considering.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Take a step forward. The other day, London, which is
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: our eleven year old, wanted to walk to a friend's
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: house after school. A friend's house was a block.
• 14:18
  Speaker 6: Away, two blocks, two blocks.
• 14:20
  Speaker 9: Gear drives in a car looking like a stalker and
• 14:22
  Speaker 9: followed them the two blocks as they're walking.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: But London, no, London was like, that's my mom following us.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I don't worry. But she just wanted to walk, and
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Gear followed her ass right to that house.
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: Well, the thing is that, you know, she's eleven, so
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: she wants to all of her friends, all of them
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: they walk home from school because they all live in
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: the same neighborhood and they all walk home. But London
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: is not allowed to walk home. No, absolutely, positively not.
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: And there's there's this very significant reason for it, well
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: at least a partial reason. And I said, all right, babe,
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: you can walk, but I'm going to follow you those
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: two blocks.
• 14:57
  Speaker 6: She's like, okay, mommy, no problem.
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: Meanwhile, you have a kids that might be like, oh
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: why can't I just can't you trust me eleven?
• 15:05
  Speaker 6: I'm not stupid, you know, other kids would rebel.
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: Our kids are so conditioned to understanding that it's for
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: their safety, and they welcome it, especially like our oldest Madison, Madison,
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: when she went to college, she was like, can you
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: chip me, like, like put a chip in her arm.
• 15:28
  Speaker 9: Because it was almost kidnapped as a kid. They try
• 15:32
  Speaker 9: to grab her the door, someone face being cut. So
• 15:36
  Speaker 9: we are very extra.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: When it comes to our kids.
• 15:40
  Speaker 9: And then you know, Charlemagne and you guys know things
• 15:42
  Speaker 9: that has happened, you know, behind the scenes, but we're
• 15:44
  Speaker 9: very careful when it comes to the kids.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, when I was nine, a man tried to abduct
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: me and it was awful.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: She was walking the door, I was, and all that
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: he choked.
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: Me out like he he had a change of clothes hidden.
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: He was caught. He was caught.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: But that's yeah, that story is in the book. But
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: you know, so I experience, I understand. I come from
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: a place where I understand that the worst can happen
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: to you, you know, because we go through life hily like,
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: oh no, that happens to other people, you know, other
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: people go through things like that. I've been through so
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: much that I understand that the worst can happen to you.
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: So I protect my kids with vigilance because of that
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: personal knowledge that I have of it.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, make sure, you not. You're raising the kids out
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: of love and not fear.
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: At though that's such a good question, it comes with
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: the explanations, do you know what I mean? I don't
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: tell them you can't do this and you can't do that.
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: Why because I said so, let me explain to you why.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: You know, sometimes we'll watch the news together, you know,
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: when they're at an appropriate age, at about nine years old.
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: You know, I think that they're mature enough to ingest
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: certain things. So what I do is I would record
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: it on my DVR and then cherry pick different stories
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: that I think that are appropriate, that speak to the
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: protective measures that we take on them, you.
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: Know what I mean.
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: So it's like, if I see a child abduction that's
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: not too traumatic, I might save that and then show
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: it to a child that's old enough. You know.
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: I did it with Madison.
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: I did it with Logan, and I find that they
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: take that into their adult lives and they're very very
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: Madison Like. Madison walks around like a police officer. She
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: has a boyfriend. His name is Andrew, and when they
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: go into a restaurant, she's the one that sits facing
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: the door. She feels like the protective force in that
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: relationship because her head is always on.
• 17:40
  Speaker 6: Swivel, you know what I mean.
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: She could tell you a car that was driving six
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: cars ahead, you know, and she's always paying attention to
• 17:48
  Speaker 5: license plates. When she was young, I used to go
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: through like in case you get kidnapped scenarios because it's
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: the type of information that can save a child's life.
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: It's the type of information that can save a life,
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: especially now with all of this human trafficking and all
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: the stories with you know you they put like a
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: zip zip tag on your on your on your door,
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: and they put a dollar or money near your there's
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: there's all these techniques.
• 18:30
  Speaker 6: Girls are being taken. So if you have a.
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: Young girl, it is very proactive to educate them about
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: the realities and the tricks and the cons that people.
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: You know, because even me as proactive as I try
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: to be, that whole technique with a baby crying outside
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: your house, I would I would be inclined to open
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: the door if I hear a baby crying and someone
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: that sounds like a mother yelling and screaming outside the house.
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: I am that type of person, but not me, but
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: now I am I am.
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: I would my heart with my I would be inclined
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: to open that door. But now with all the knowledge
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: and some of the good things about social media is
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: that so much knowledge is being spread, so now we're
• 19:18
  Speaker 5: consuming good information as well. So I heard that, I'm like, wow,
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: that's absolutely absolutely right.
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: It jogs your thinking.
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: It makes you say, oh, wait a minute, I do
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: have to put myself first, even if someone else, a stranger,
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: seems to be in need. I have to prioritize myself,
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: my home, my family. So you know, it's it's important
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: to spread information and to teach your kids, even though
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: it may be a little scary, but you do have
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: to do it in a way where it doesn't incite fear.
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: How do y'all, ah, how y'all pick and choose?
• 19:49
  Speaker 8: What do y'all like, what y'all decide to be transparent about,
• 19:51
  Speaker 8: because there's so much, Like you have stuff that you
• 19:54
  Speaker 8: have to protect them from just because they're going to
• 19:55
  Speaker 8: school and you guys, people know you. But then you
• 19:57
  Speaker 8: also have stuff that just happening in the world that
• 19:59
  Speaker 8: they could encounter with their friends. Like it's just so much.
• 20:02
  Speaker 8: Your kids are getting older and they're like, you know,
• 20:03
  Speaker 8: like they they're wanting to walk by themselves with their friends.
• 20:06
  Speaker 9: Know, if it was up to me, I'm transparent with
• 20:08
  Speaker 9: everything right has to hold back a lot. And the
• 20:11
  Speaker 9: reason I think I'm suaming, Well, the reason I'm so
• 20:13
  Speaker 9: transparent I'll explain. But the reason I'm so transparent.
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: What you mean?
• 20:25
  Speaker 9: But you know, so some things get you know, like
• 20:28
  Speaker 9: for instance, like with Logan. Right, Logan when he was
• 20:32
  Speaker 9: in high school used to get picked on all the time. Right,
• 20:35
  Speaker 9: but he used to get picked on. Guess for what reason?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: No, because because Charlamage. Yes, yes, so when you gave
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: me to ask, that's.
• 20:45
  Speaker 9: Why he gave me the buck cake when he gave
• 20:52
  Speaker 9: me much better.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, We're not about to hate.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: He used to get made fun of it because of that.
• 21:06
  Speaker 9: So, but the reason I'm so transparent is there's so
• 21:08
  Speaker 9: many families and people dealing with the same things but
• 21:11
  Speaker 9: never want to talk about it. Scared to So that's
• 21:14
  Speaker 9: why I talked about the orgasm thing in the first book.
• 21:16
  Speaker 9: That's why in this in the second but we talk
• 21:18
  Speaker 9: about you know the time that from.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: No, no, not every every you want to do some.
• 21:33
  Speaker 9: Even like in this book we talk about the time
• 21:35
  Speaker 9: that that uh Logan found a bloody condom at one
• 21:40
  Speaker 9: of his friend's house, so he can't, but he's he's
• 21:44
  Speaker 9: comfortable while looking at that.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: It wasn't mine.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: He's like, oh he found blood.
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: Right friends, and and he was like maybe nine years old,
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: nine years old.
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: He was about nine years old.
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: But he was comfortable enough to keep in the basement.
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: And the little boy had an older brother.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when Charlamagne gave daddy, so she had That's when
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: we had the sex talk and had to have the
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: sex talks with Logan and Madison. What kind of sex
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: talk though, it wasn't a backdoor sex talk that they
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: just birds and beans and wasp and.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: They got a full blown okay sex talk. They had
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: to understand because if you leave it back.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: Door sex, if that's what I'm really trying to figure out,
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: why was the condon bloody?
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: I'm really because when somebody ran red.
• 22:45
  Speaker 7: Like yeah, just ripped some my butt open, somebody ran
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: a red.
• 22:54
  Speaker 8: Don't be like the first time thing?
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, but no they at that point I found
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: that they were old enough and mature enough, and they're
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: encountering things now. These conversations are being had amongst their peers,
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: and I knew that if I didn't set them straight,
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: that they were going to be absorbing all of this
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: wrong information and wrong ideas. So I told them sex
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: feels good. It's a pleasureful experience. God made us that
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: way because God wants us to reproduce. He wants us
• 23:27
  Speaker 5: to create offspring. So he made it something that we
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: would enjoy. But it's meant for someone that you love,
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: and that's the reason why. So they're like, oh, okay,
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: so what is it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Like and what did you say?
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: Okay, if I'm being honest, I told them that there
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: is a penis, and there is a vagina and it
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: does slide in and out. And my son Logan was like,
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: so like this, yeah, they're a bad Yeah, they're eleven
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: about they're about eleven and nine.
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: That I'll never forget since you asked, he was like,
• 24:08
  Speaker 6: so is it like like? I was like, yeah, something
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: like that.
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: I said, you know, some people look at it as
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: a negative thing.
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: No, no, no, he really didn't know. He really didn't.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: He really didn't even even like my eleven year old
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: son right now, he does not know. He asked me
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: three days ago, like what does sexual mean?
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: I said, it's not for you. It's not for you
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: to understand right now.
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: So when they asked me questions that I don't want
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: them to know about. And he's older than Logan was,
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: But now with I have a better grip on his
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: friends and a grip on what he's exposed to on
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: his phone and whatnot in Parameter's boundaries, So I'm really
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: abreast of what he knows and what he doesn't in
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: our lines of communication are better, way better.
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: Like he like those kids.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: They come to me every day and when they get
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: home from school, either for a half an hour an hour,
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: depending on what activity they have.
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: Afterwards, they have their turns.
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: They sit at the foot of my bed, they lay
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: down or they sit down and they tell me about
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: their entire day.
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: They tell me the.
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: Best part of their day, the worst part of their day,
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: and one kind thing that they did for someone else
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: that day. So that's just our routine, that's our ritual.
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: And they tell me everything. And you would be shocked
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: and appalled to know the things that they divulge. But
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: it's because we create that safe space, We create that
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: soft place to land, We create a no judgment zone.
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: You could tell me anything. It could be the world's worst.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: I will never ever judge you. I will help you
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: fix it. We'll extract all the lessons everything that you
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: need to learn from it, whether you were wrong, whether
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: you weren't whatever. It is like this is your safe
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: space and they have that foundation. So they share, they share,
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: and we take that time like we share.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you have six games?
• 26:00
  Speaker 7: So was there anything because y'all have all age groups?
• 26:03
  Speaker 7: So is there anything that you felt like in the
• 26:06
  Speaker 7: beginning y'all didn't know until y'all got to that six kid,
• 26:11
  Speaker 7: of course, like what were some of the I'll give
• 26:14
  Speaker 7: you an example.
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: You didn't know. You just was like, well we may
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: and Rashan winging.
• 26:17
  Speaker 6: This, I'll give you. I'll give you an example.
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: But to speak to what you said, like we wrote
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: a book, that doesn't mean that we know everything, and
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: it doesn't mean that it's not an evolution. It doesn't
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: mean that we're still learning every single day. Like I
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: said earlier, it's a sense of community where we share
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: our experiences and the wins and the losses so that
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: other people can understand they're not alone.
• 26:41
  Speaker 6: And it comes in.
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: All shades, all forms, all fashions, all financial groups. We
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: all speak a universal universal language as parents with Logan,
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: so one of one of the fails, and this was
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: something that we disagreed on. So it was the explaining
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: everything to the kids.
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: I have the patience to do it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: And he really is a because I said so type
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: of guy. And it worked beautifully with Madison, but with
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: Logan from a young age, I would explain everything to
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: him and he's a mama's.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Boy times thirty and he tells us he.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: Is that boy, Like we have a thing, you know,
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: and I have a different thing with all of my kids,
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: but me and him.
• 27:26
  Speaker 6: Have our thing. Like he calls me at.
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: All times of the day, all time. He will call
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: me at three o'clock in the morning, like at twelve
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: o'clock in the afternoon, and she's like, yea, what's up, mom,
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: what's going on?
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: You're good?
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm good. I was just at the club home.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: I'm about to FaceTime you. Lucas and Andrew are here.
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: Take a look, take a look, and I'm like, what's up?
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: Sleep is up? But okay, you know what I mean.
• 27:46
  Speaker 6: Like we're very, very close.
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: But it kind of went wrong with him because what
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: we found was that we created an environment where he
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: felt that he was entitled to an explanation, and he
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: felt as though because we gave him too safe of
• 28:05
  Speaker 5: a space that he could challenge me. And he can
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: challenge a decision that I made. And he's very and
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: he's very intelligent. He's very, very intelligent. So Rashwan always
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: says that I'm like a lawyer, right, he says it
• 28:23
  Speaker 5: all the time. I know what it feels like because
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: I have a logan and logan lawyers me, do you
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: know what I mean?
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: So they do it each other all day long.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: Yes, all day.
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: Long, and in a lot of ways, I enjoy it
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: because I feel like he really does challenge me, and
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: he's one of the only people that I feel like
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: does that in my life. And I love to see
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: the mental exercise. I love to see how his brain
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: is moving and how he's getting around the things that
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: I'm saying and things like that.
• 28:48
  Speaker 6: So it's good at his adult age.
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: Now because he's twenty one, But when he was a child,
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: it wasn't acceptable because I'm going to explain because this
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: is what I do. But now you're not understanding that
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: that's a grace that I show you. It's not something
• 29:03
  Speaker 5: that you're entitled to This is a courtesy that I'm
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: extending to you, but you're not entitled. So we had
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: to dial that back. And then we had to teach
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: boundaries and let him know his place because he started
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: to misunderstand his place. So that was that was a
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: fail in a sense. And Rashalmud always looking at me
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: like see I told you, Like see I told you.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Because he's a bad guy.
• 29:32
  Speaker 9: Because now I got to go discipline that, right, So
• 29:35
  Speaker 9: now me and Logan get into it.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: And now you can't beat Logan because Logan.
• 29:41
  Speaker 9: So now I got a discipline Logan, and then me
• 29:42
  Speaker 9: and Logan get into it. But one thing about Logan
• 29:44
  Speaker 9: and all of our kids, which is the craziest thing,
• 29:46
  Speaker 9: is they're very forgiven. Like with Logan, I have to
• 29:50
  Speaker 9: get sometimes so disrespectful for him to understand.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: And the next day he's like, hey Dad, what's up.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, hey Dad, what's up. But that's how
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: he is, and he just has conversations.
• 29:57
  Speaker 9: But we have those conversations and we understand and we
• 30:00
  Speaker 9: but he's the one that just like.
• 30:02
  Speaker 6: His mom, did you fail like a failure?
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: No?
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: No, I didn't feel like a failure, but I knew
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: that that technique wasn't wasn't necessarily a fail, but it
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: needed tweaking.
• 30:13
  Speaker 6: So then we had.
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: Our other four and there was a huge gap. There's
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: about nine years between Logan and London. So I wanted
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: to maintain what I always believed in and how I
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: was raised, but I wanted to implement some of because
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: I told you so as well, Like I am going
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: to explain to you, but I'm going to let you
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: know that it is because I'm showing you grace and
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: it's because I respect you. So in turn, you have
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: to respect me, and you have to respect the decision.
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: And we can talk about it as long as it's
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: coming from a good place. And I'm not sensing any
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: attitude from you, any entitlement from you, or anything that
• 30:47
  Speaker 5: I don't like to feel as we sit here and
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: discuss it. So you got to make sure you keep
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: it right. And my kids get it. So this pack
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: of three, because Peyton's three years old, but my eleven,
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: my ten, and my eight, they get it. Like I
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: tell them, if they were really curious, they might question,
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: and then after I say it again, they're like, okay, absolutely,
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: whatever it is. And so it's it's through that trial
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: and error with Madison and Logan that were able to
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: take all the good stuff, you know, all the good
• 31:17
  Speaker 5: stuff and pour it into this second batch of kids.
• 31:21
  Speaker 8: No, go ahead, I thought, I'm asking so much.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: So no, it's okay.
• 31:26
  Speaker 7: So in the beginning, So going back to something you
• 31:39
  Speaker 7: said earlier, you were saying that the past two years
• 31:41
  Speaker 7: was very traumatic and not getting into that. How challenging
• 31:46
  Speaker 7: was it writing this book? Like was it ever moments
• 31:49
  Speaker 7: where you AMers or just you like broke down, like
• 31:53
  Speaker 7: not like giving up, But it was challenging for you
• 31:56
  Speaker 7: to get deep into any you know, any of the
• 31:58
  Speaker 7: chapters or what you win through within the pastry.
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: You you know what, I'll be honest with you, no
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: pun intended, But I'm an open book. I'm not a
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: private person. I've never been a very private person. And
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: it's because I feel as though the value in life
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: is truth. You know, even if it's not pretty. You know,
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: there's no value to anything if it's not honest, if
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: it's not true, if it's not transparent, if it's bs,
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: it's worthless. You know, if you wrap everything in a
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: pretty bow, it's worthless because who can relate to you, nobody.
• 32:33
  Speaker 5: I can't relate to people that appear to be perfect
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: or pretend to be perfect, because I don't know you.
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: I don't know anybody like you, you know what I mean.
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: So anytime that I'm honest or I'm vulnerable about something,
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: to me, it's like giving a little gift from myself.
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: It's sharing something that I know other people wouldn't share
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: because they'd be too embarrassed or it disrupts the image
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: that they're trying to present, so that I don't respect.
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: So it's very easy for me to tell my truth
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: from where I genuinely come from.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: You know, did you have a family mission statement?
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: What is the mission statement? And tell people the importance of.
• 33:12
  Speaker 9: That, well, just so we know, we don't have it
• 33:14
  Speaker 9: on our wall and then make the kids read it
• 33:15
  Speaker 9: when they walk in the house.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: It's not like that.
• 33:19
  Speaker 9: So our mission statement is just something that we, you know,
• 33:22
  Speaker 9: as a family, we all live by, right, And I'll
• 33:24
  Speaker 9: read some of them. And the reason is is we
• 33:26
  Speaker 9: are a close unit, right, So if you see us together,
• 33:29
  Speaker 9: we're all always out together. You see me the other
• 33:31
  Speaker 9: day with Jackson, You've seen me before, and Chelan has
• 33:34
  Speaker 9: seen before.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: So the mission statement is we are a unit, right,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: we all ride together like we are really a unit,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: a unit.
• 33:39
  Speaker 9: I'm an only child, so I'm I'm heavy into taking
• 33:43
  Speaker 9: care of each other.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 33:45
  Speaker 9: We respect each other, of course, it's simple, like we
• 33:48
  Speaker 9: make sure that, you know, we respect each other's feeling.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: We always have each other's backs.
• 33:51
  Speaker 9: That's one thing that we always do, and it's you know,
• 33:53
  Speaker 9: sometimes when we have conversations up here, I always talk
• 33:55
  Speaker 9: about my kids.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: So when they see stuff on social media.
• 33:58
  Speaker 9: At times I have to stop them because they will
• 34:00
  Speaker 9: go in, especially Logan Logan, Oh yeah, we always loved
• 34:05
  Speaker 9: uplift each other and point out the good in one another. Right,
• 34:08
  Speaker 9: So we see that more especially with our girls in
• 34:10
  Speaker 9: dance because they compete against each other a lot. So
• 34:12
  Speaker 9: when they do, we have to make sure that regardless
• 34:14
  Speaker 9: of what happens. Like a couple of weeks ago, London
• 34:17
  Speaker 9: lost and we thought London got jerked. So I told
• 34:20
  Speaker 9: you know, I had a conversation with Brooklyn, and Brooklyn
• 34:22
  Speaker 9: was like that, don't worry, I'm gonna get first and
• 34:23
  Speaker 9: second four And she went out there and busted at
• 34:25
  Speaker 9: that first and second.
• 34:26
  Speaker 6: He got first place and second again.
• 34:28
  Speaker 9: You know gave the first place to her sister, because
• 34:30
  Speaker 9: that's what it was. We represent each other at all times.
• 34:33
  Speaker 9: That's how it always is. So we always tell our
• 34:35
  Speaker 9: kids if we're not there, you make sure that those
• 34:37
  Speaker 9: parents come back and say, oh my gosh, she was
• 34:39
  Speaker 9: such a pleasure.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: He was polite, he was this even with Jackson at
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: the game.
• 34:44
  Speaker 9: You know, Jackson said thank you a million one time,
• 34:46
  Speaker 9: so you said hello million one time.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: So you because that's what he's taught to do, that
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: you show.
• 34:50
  Speaker 6: Respect one before you go on with that.
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: My goal for my kids is that when they leave
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: our house, I want everyone that they come in contact
• 35:01
  Speaker 5: with to know that they're well loved.
• 35:03
  Speaker 6: Do you know what I mean?
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: Like, I want them to know that they're well loved.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: What we teach you inside this house, you exemplify outside
• 35:10
  Speaker 5: of this house. And it's so interesting because you know,
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: as parents, we have a goal, you know, and these
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: are goals that we vocalize to one another. So when
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: we get calls from other parents when our kids are
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: on a playdate, teachers principles. Both sets of kids went
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: to a new school and we got calls from like
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: the parent the teachers, like what are you guys doing
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: in that house? What are you doing with these kids?
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: Like I've never seen this before, and all three of
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: them are like this.
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: It lets you.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: Know that you're doing something right, you're doing something meaningful.
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: Those teachers know.
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: That they're well loved, and of course other children are
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: well loved. It's not that, but it's coming from a
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: mental space that you understand. And like what we talked
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: about earlier about articulating words and things, when you articulate
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: something to a child and you do it in a
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: way where they understand what it means and what their
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: actions mean. Because you can love your child to death,
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: you could take a bullet for them. You do, you
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: work hard, you hustle, you do everything for your kids.
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: You love your kids, but they could still go out
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: and be a menace because the lessons may be lost.
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: And these are things that a lot of parents don't
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: put into perspective when raising children because what do.
• 36:30
  Speaker 6: We usually do. We take it.
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: We take, like, you know, an idea, and we throw
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: it up against the wall and we see if it
• 36:36
  Speaker 5: sticks or not.
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean? Oh that worked, Oh that
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: didn't okay.
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: But a lot of people don't have something tangible that
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: they can go back to and be like, this is
• 36:47
  Speaker 5: this is this is a way to create a foundation.
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: This is a way to create a structure. And because
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: we had so many ups and downs, we were able
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: to do that and put it in one place.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: And I think the biggest story now hate want to
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: tell a story was Jackson. Right.
• 37:01
  Speaker 9: So we had a parent teacher's night a couple of
• 37:03
  Speaker 9: weeks ago and a teacher came up to me.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: The teacher that I had no idea you know who
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: he was a step night. Yeah, So he walks off
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: to me. He was like, are you Jackson's dad? And
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like yeah. When a teacher usually asked that' usually
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: some bs.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, hey, we go what did Jackson do?
• 37:17
  Speaker 9: And he was like, I just want to tell you, you know,
• 37:19
  Speaker 9: Jackson did something that no child or adult has done
• 37:22
  Speaker 9: in my life.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, what's that?
• 37:25
  Speaker 9: And he was like the other day, I'm walking down
• 37:26
  Speaker 9: the hall and Jackson comes running up to me and
• 37:28
  Speaker 9: he goes, you know, are you okay?
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: And the teacher was like, what do you mean? He
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: was like, you just don't look as happy as usually do,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: or you are right? Is anything bothering you. Would you
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: like to have a conversation with me and just talk
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: it through.
• 37:42
  Speaker 9: I was like, nah, you just don't seem as happy
• 37:44
  Speaker 9: as you do, but don't let things stress you out.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Just pray on it and tomorrow be better. Right and
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: if you need to talk to me, come talk to me.
• 37:50
  Speaker 9: And he said Jackson ran off and he was like,
• 37:52
  Speaker 9: I've never had an adult or a child ever do
• 37:54
  Speaker 9: that to me.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: So he was like, whatever you're doing at home, continue that,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: and you know, I mean.
• 37:58
  Speaker 9: That just shows what the kids are learning that home
• 38:00
  Speaker 9: is worth every Yeah, so you.
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Need to report that teacher too. He don't need to
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: be in school.
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: Was like, you got some time.
• 38:15
  Speaker 7: So it was the only person, I mean, London was
• 38:17
  Speaker 7: the only person that saw him at.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Jackson.
• 38:28
  Speaker 6: So that was stem night.
• 38:30
  Speaker 5: But at the parent teacher conference, one of the teachers
• 38:33
  Speaker 5: said that if she could use one word to describe Jackson,
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: it would be grateful. And she said, in thirty years
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: of teaching, I've never used that word with a child before.
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: I said, well, what do you mean by grateful? He says?
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: She said, every day, after every lesson, he comes up
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: to me and says, thank you for teaching. Me today
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: and I said really, And he said she said where,
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: Like where did like where does he get that from?
• 38:58
  Speaker 6: Like what's what's like? You know?
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: I said, that's his own interpretation. But when he plays
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: sports after every game, I tell him to shake the referees'
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: hand and look him in this, look him in the
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: eye a nice strong handshake, and say thank you. And
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: do the same thing with your coach, because these are
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: people that give their time, that don't have to give
• 39:16
  Speaker 5: their time, and it's for you and for your benefit
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: in your learning and your greatness. So you acknowledge that
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: man or that woman and you say thank you. So
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: I think that that's his interpretation how he's doing it
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: in another way, you know what I mean.
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: Such a beautiful family, Thank you. And this man will
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: crashed out for any of y'all. I know.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Behind the scenes a bunch of times.
• 39:41
  Speaker 9: And Jessica was like, yo, you crash out for you?
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: No, man, tell me I'm interested.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Excuse me?
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: Shut up? Anyway, when is baby number seven?
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: The shop is closed?
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: This ship has said the shop is not closed.
• 40:02
  Speaker 6: No, no, there's no sip snip.
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: But I know how not to get pregnant. No, no,
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: I don't want them to get the case you ever wanted.
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: No, I just don't think it's necessary. I know how
• 40:15
  Speaker 6: not to get pregnant.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: Want the husband. I'm sorry say that again for the
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: wives who want their husbands.
• 40:26
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: Other other women may have gotten pregnant unintentionally and have
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: a different view, But me personally, I just you know,
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: like people have asked me, like, do you want to
• 40:37
  Speaker 5: get your tubes tied? I just like our natural bodies
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: and I like them to function the way that they function.
• 40:43
  Speaker 5: And if I can take a human precaution to prevent
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: a particular result and don't do that, I don't. I
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: don't think that it's for me. It's not necessary. I
• 40:51
  Speaker 5: absolutely understand why people do both of those procedures, but
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: for me, I just don't find it to be necessary.
• 40:55
  Speaker 5: That's all, you know.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: April fifteen, it'll be out in bookstores everywhere everywhere you
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: buy books.
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: Man Gid, thank you for pulling up.
• 41:07
  Speaker 6: Thank you so much. You can pre order on Amazon
• 41:09
  Speaker 6: right now.
• 41:10
  Speaker 9: And for everybody else. We just want to add this
• 41:12
  Speaker 9: last part. We actually wrote it with somebody that helped
• 41:14
  Speaker 9: us out that we'll talk about that that helped us
• 41:17
  Speaker 9: with terms and helped us with different phrases and helped
• 41:19
  Speaker 9: us with made sure that we were actually doing the
• 41:21
  Speaker 9: right thing when it came to raising our kids.
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so we wrote it alongside a psychologist because yes,
• 41:28
  Speaker 5: because we wanted to make sure that our outlooks were
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: were on the level that I would want to put
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: it out to the public. I wanted the psychological research
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: and quarterbacking behind the way that we parent to pretty
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: much put a stamp on it, to know that what
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: we're doing not just from our personal experience driven point
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: of view is sound, but from a psychological point of
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: view is also sound. I wanted to make sure that
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: alongside the true truth and the transparency and the experience
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: that we had that backing to the book as well.
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: I wanted that level of value in the book as well.
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: So and also, you know, if you have a child
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: with anxiety, add ADHD, other setbacks, other disabilities, you know
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: we speak to you in this book as well, because
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: those people are very like they don't have that many resources.
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: This book is for anyone who is a parent, a
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: single parent, a parent.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: That is married, may be about to have kids.
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: Someone that wants to have a child.
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: Look over here.
• 42:38
  Speaker 6: Thank you It's, It's, It's, It's Forever.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: It's a very relatable book, and there's a lot of
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: exercises in the book. We kind of also created it
• 42:44
  Speaker 5: in like a workbook style, so there's a lot of reflections.
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: There's a lot of places in there for you to
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: answer questions, so you can kind of analyze yourself and
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: understand your own point of view in a way of
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: like articulation, where if you haven't really thought about certain things,
• 42:57
  Speaker 5: it'll jog you to think about things. And even if
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: you don't do don't take our take, it encourages you
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: and helps you to come up with your own takes
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: on parenting.
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: So you have April fifteenth, guys, pre order it now.
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: Pre order it now.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: My Real Family, The Casey Crew's The Breakfast Club.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning, Come Breakfast Club.