Latest / ok storytime / My boyfriend EXPECTED me to pay for our entire trip... and never told me beforehand! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3136

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My boyfriend EXPECTED me to pay for our entire trip... and never told me beforehand! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3136 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime hosts. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up. But before that,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: we have a quick two-minute break from our sponsors that
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend expected me to pay for our entire trip
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: and never told me beforehand.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: I hope that trip is all expenses paid. I, 29.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Female, really want to share the story with you. All
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: because I was generally so shocked and disgusted about what happened.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: And I really just need to let it all out.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Before I tell you the story, you just got to
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: let it all out. Give it to us.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I have to add that my boyfriend, 31 male, has
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. Then he
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: is not your boyfriend, 31 male. It's just a man.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: He's a 31-year-old male.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: That's it. This is like platonic or strangers.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Yes. That's it. There is no in-between. I kind of
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: thought this would be the weekend he'd do it. I'm
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: not going to lie, there have been a few tiny
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: red flags in our relationship before our holiday, but I
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: really wanted to have a go at making it work.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Not anymore. So about a month ago, Brad told me
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: he wanted to take me away for a romantic weekend.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Our first. He ended up choosing an expensive apartment at
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: the beach, so I offered to pay for half of
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: the accommodation costs. But Brad refused to let me help
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: pay and just said I should use my money as
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: spending money so I could enjoy the weekend. Okay. Okay, Brad.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: All right, Trip King. I feel you.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: From what we had talked about. I was under the
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: assumption we would get groceries for the entire weekend and
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: go 50-50. This is what we usually do. I'm on
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: a really tight budget at the moment and only had
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: $ 150 to spare. TBH, OP was expecting to pay for
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: half of this. I don't think we should be going
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: on romantic trips. If you have to pay for any
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: of this.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: What do you mean, though?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: She's only got $ 150 to spare.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my bad. My bad we have $ 50 in our
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: bank accounts.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry. I can't go on this trip with you.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, my bad. We can't spend an evening in Rome. Yeah, yeah.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I was guessing groceries would be about $ 75 each for
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the weekend, and then I could use the rest for
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: spending money. By the way, this comes from Cassant. And
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: if you want to spend your own stories, go to
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: the RSL Showcase Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: And I'm Mike.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: And OP says.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And make dinner together at the apartment, thinking it would
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: be romantic. But he was a bit tired from the
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: drive and wanted to grab some food right away. As
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I knew the area better, I pointed out the main
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: fish and chip restaurant near the beach, the only one
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I knew of that had great reasonably priced food. And
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: he said, how about we sit down and eat? I
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: was thinking, oh, great. He wants to take me out
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: for dinner. That's just a bit romantic. Just a bit romantic.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Just a tiny, just a little bit.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Just a dash of romance.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Just a little bit, a little bit.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Just a little bit. I really had no clue what
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: was about to happen.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: The restaurant was one of those pay-before-you-eat places, so we
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: go up to the counter to make our order. Brad
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: chose a really expensive meal, and when the time comes
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: to pay, Brad hung back, didn't make any move to
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: reach for his wallet.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Whoa, what the? The first, the audacity.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Audacity. The audacity. That's crazy. Yeah, he invites you on
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: a romantic weekend.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: And then says, let's go out to eat.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: And then doesn't even offer to split.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: Lee just leaves it on the table. Yeah, can't be
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: doing that.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I quickly realized he was expecting me to pay. All
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: the while, the server was flicking anxious glances between the
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: both of us.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Awkward.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: She's like, I hate that.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I remember this cold wash of panic rushed down my
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: spine as I handed my money over. The food and
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: drinks came out to be about $ 70, which was about
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: half of the money for the weekend, of her money
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: for the weekend. Later, as we were eating, he got
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: all smiley and jovial and said how nice it was
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: he wouldn't have to pay for food and drinks the
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: entire weekend because he paid for the accommodation.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God, dude.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Huh? When did we make that agreement?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: No.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Bro, it's literally, dude. The, the, the, the balls on
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: this guy, the audacity.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: No, I mean, this is not your boyfriend and he's
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: making it very clear.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: Oh my God. I totally forgot about it. Bro, you, yeah, dude, man, bro,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: man up. Just do it.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Just do it.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: You know, hit up Nike, bro. Yeah.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to say no now.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: It's too late now.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: To say I was shocked was an under-effing statement. We
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: had never discussed this. Even though I passed away a
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: little inside as we were eating, I just smiled and
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: nodded and realized I was effed. I'd have to spend
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: the entire weekend stuck at the beach with a guy
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I had no respect for and couldn't even look at.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I know I should have told him I wasn't prepared
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: to pay for any more meals due to lack of funds,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: but I was worried he'd get cranky and I still
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: had two days to get through with a guy. The
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: next morning I said, how about we go to the
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: store and get food for the rest of the weekend
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: so we can enjoy the apartment by the beach without
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: having to go out for food all the time. He
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: finally agreed. But when we got to the store, he
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: never offered to pay. And I ended up footing the
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: entire grocery bill. He didn't even offer to pay half.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: And then I ended up cooking all of our meals
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: for the rest of the weekend. And he never offered
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: to help out. Not once. All he wanted to do
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: was sit in front of the TV and watch sports
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: or check the score. That is diabolical to on a
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: romantic weekend. Instead of like, even if he doesn't know
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: how to cook or like doesn't want to help cook.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: To not just like sit next door and be like, oh,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: let's chit chat.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you mean that normal stuff that couples do?
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Ew.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Gross, dude. Jesus.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: It was a real eye-opener, and I'm so glad I
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: got a chance to see what he was really like.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: It was almost as if he wanted me to woo him,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: not the other way around. I mean, he does. He's like,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: when is she going to ask me to be her boyfriend?
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Just waiting. Oh, my God.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Which you could, but don't.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, no. Yeah. But also, too, like, as a guy, too, like,
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: it is, like, our responsibility to kind of just be like, dude, like,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: you got to throw the ball in their court.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I guess it does depend on the situation.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, yeah, of course.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I think it's, like, whoever.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: If they're married, like, hey, dude, you want to.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Throw the ball in your court.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: Listen, guys, don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: your wife. For real. Okay?
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: For real.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Just keep on going out there. That's the moral of
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: the story.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's just like, whoever is kind of
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: holding back in this situation.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: They kind of have to be the one to say, Hey,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I'll do it.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I feel what you're saying. I feel what you're saying.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Whoever's being like, okay. Cause sometimes there's one person who's like,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I'm all for this.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh yeah. I think, but like, I think 90%
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: of the time that's, that's why like I'm thinking where
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: I was just like, yeah, like you're the guy who's
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: holding back. He's just always holding back. Um, No, yeah.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: It was like, ask.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Who cares?
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: On last morning at the beach, as we were dropping
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: off the keys to the real estate, he said he
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: wanted to get some takeaway coffees before we started the
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: drive home. When we walked into the cafe, he hung
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: back and I knew he wanted me to pay again.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: Real Prince Charming, this guy.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I'm not getting you anything. Except I
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: had forgotten my wallet and only had my phone on me.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: I turned to him and whispered, do you have your
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: wallet on you? He said, oh, you're tricking me so
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: you don't have to pay. Very smart. Is this Saw?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: You think she's trying to trap you? Insane. Insane.
• 7:59
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what?
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: Bye.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I was shocked into silence as he paid. I was
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: close to bursting into tears at this point as we
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: were waiting for our coffees. I said, look, I really
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: didn't mean to forget my wallet. And he said, nah,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: don't believe you. You definitely tricked me. I hate this man.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I just remember thinking, what the F? Did that just happen?
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I was ready to snap at him, but we still
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: had the trip home to get through. During the three-hour
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: drive home, I slept the whole way so I didn't
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: have to talk to him. Please tell me I'm not
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: being unreasonable and what he did was really crappy. I
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: haven't ended things with him yet, but I was thinking
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: of doing it this afternoon. Would it be wrong of
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: me to call him up or should I do it
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: face to face? Some friends have suggested I meet up
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: with him and say something like, sorry, but this relationship
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: isn't working for me. So I need to break up
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: with you. I really do wish you well. And I
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: know that you'll find that special girl one day. Others
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: have suggested I ghost him. But what I really want
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: to do is send him a text message saying this.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: You were a total D-bag over the weekend expecting me
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: to pay for everything. And I never want to see
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: you again. And if I haven't made it clear, this
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: is me breaking up with you. I'll be blocking you
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: on everything as I have a no contact policy with
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: my exes. So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Goodbye. Is he
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: your ex, though?
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Not to get hung up on that, but is he
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: your ex?
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. They were never official in the first place.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: He's just a man. You can release him. Don't ghost.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I don't like ghosting.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ghost is a little harsh.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Just be like, hey, it's not working out.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: It's not working out. Sometimes ghosting is necessary, though.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: I feel like if they're creepy or if it's a
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: safety thing, I'm like, yeah. I don't need to tell
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: you why. Or if I haven't met them yet.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: If it's like I just was talking. Let's say if
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: it was like an app. or something that I met
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: them through and I was just talking to them, then
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well, we just stopped talking.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: But I don't, I mean, obviously.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but if you guys are like going out together,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: A short little, hey, not working.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: But we got to edit. Yes, I know, red effing
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: flags everywhere, but I just swerved around them and kept going.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Relevant comments. Halahart says, it was the coffee thing that
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: really made me think so. He made you cry. I
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: hate that. Then basically called you a liar. It was
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: so mean and immature of him. I'm sticking to my
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: resolve and still saying, don't go. Don't go where? Sometimes
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: silence can really get the point across. Plus, I would
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: hate for him to have a reason to lash out
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: at you over this. Silence is golden. I disagree with that.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah? You disagree with that?
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Just the ghosting. I'm just like, just a little, hey,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: this isn't working out.
• 10:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: You don't even have to go into detail.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: It's not working out.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Just leave it at that. Leave it at that. Leave
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: it at that.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Opie says, thank you. The coffee thing was pretty hard
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: to get through. You know when your chin starts trembling
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: and it takes all of your willpower not to cry?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: That's pretty much what happened. When I recounted the story
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: to my parents yesterday, I almost started crying again at
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: that point. And my mom and dad both got misty-eyed
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: and just hugged me for a while. They both knew
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: how excited I'd been and how much I trusted him,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and they were devastated for me, particularly my dad. He
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: just kept shaking his head, saying, oh, I'm just so
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: sorry that happened to you.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to go cry again. I have to stop.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Raw says, okay, I was leaning toward the benefit of miscommunication.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: After all, you agreed that he paid for accommodation, and
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: it was not clearly worded that you'd pay for food
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: and fun. However, if he believed that, he probably would
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: have said, I thought you were paying for food and
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: drinks and not, you're tricking me. I'd put that on
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: par with usually the one accusing of cheating is cheating. Hence,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: the guilty projection. I think he was knowingly using you.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Opie says, that's really interesting. I never thought of that.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I think he just wanted to weaken away.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's not. This is just like a master plan
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: that this other person is telling this Opie.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, he's like, no, you don't understand.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You just told me that like he's stepping outside.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: No, he said he was, uh, he just needed to.
• 12:12
  Speaker 8: Like, he's plotting against you.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: He's plotting against you. They're after you.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: He may have been holding a grudge because he paid
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the entirety of the accommodation costs, even though I offered
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: and thought I should just automatically offer to shout him
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: all weekend. And if I didn't, I was the bad guy.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I just can't believe he made not a single mention
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: of this beforehand. I just assume we do what we
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: usually do. Go 50-50 or have one person shout food,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: the other person pay for drinks, and then swap the
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: next night. I'm just wondering how he ever thought that
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: forcing your girl to pay for the entirety of dinner
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: while on your first night out on holiday would ever
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: be attractive. Nunu Brad says, I hope you don't take
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: this wrong way because he really sounds crappy and you
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: should definitely break up with him, but you let all
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: of that happen to yourself. At the first restaurant, why
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: didn't you just say, yeah, that was like half of
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: my money? That's kind of awkward though.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Just what? What about it is awkward? Just like the
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: whole scenario where.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Well, this commenter is saying after OP was told to
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: pay for them the first night, they're like, oh, well,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: you should have just told them you only.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: Had $ 150 total to spend.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but sometimes people get weird about money.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I'm like, it would be a
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: little bit awkward. You're like, actually, I only have $ 70 left. Well, okay.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: I will say it's only awkward about money when you're broke.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she's broke.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: She doesn't have money.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Dude, you're going out. That's the only time where you're
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: just like, you're counting the pennies, bro.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: You're like, I actually do need that $ 4 back. Thanks.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Bro, but spending $ 20 is like, ugh, you know?
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's how much that was?
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: OP says, I effing wish I'd done this. I wish
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: so much I'd stood up to him and told him
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I had practically no money left. If I could go back,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I'd do things differently and stand up for myself for once.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: I'd probably tell him what he did wasn't cool, that
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I wanted to break up with him, and that I
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: wanted to go home now. Instead, I put myself through
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: the weekend of heck. It just got worse and worse
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: and worse. OP mentions past things that boyfriend has done.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: I'm so, so lucky this happened. I reckon it would
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: have taken me a fair deal longer to break it
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: off with him without a flag as huge as this
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: one landing in front of me. He was doing a
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: few other things I didn't like, but I was letting
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: him get away with it, canceling dates for 24-hour bugs,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: forgetting to get back to me about dates, never calling,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: no longer bothering to take me out for dinner, no
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: daytime dates... He's not your boyfriend. Everything that you've told
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: me about this man.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: He is not your boyfriend.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: I keep on forgetting that these guys are not together, bro.
• 14:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: And, like, that's not me saying, like, oh, you shouldn't
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: expect that. That's just me saying, like, he's proven.
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: He's proven he's not.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: There's nothing going on to, like, make him just be like, hey,
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: you're my girlfriend.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: There's no evidence here that proves to me that he
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: likes you. So I'm glad that you finally realized, oh,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I probably shouldn't go out with him.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. They lifted the blinders on him.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: One of my friends suggested what a few of you
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: pointed out. He really didn't deserve anything but a good ghost,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: seeing as we weren't official or exclusive anyway. So how
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: do you break up with someone when you were never
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: in a relationship in the first place? I thought I'd
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: wait until he messaged me to organize a catch-up. Then
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I'd call him and let him know that our non-relationship
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: was over. I feel like he's going to ghost her.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, my. This is what it's coming down to. I
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: didn't even think. It makes so much more sense, though.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like she's going to be like, I'm just
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: going to wait until he texts me.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: And then he never will.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: You want to know what this is going to come to?
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: It's going to be like, she's going to be thinking
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: about like, oh, maybe I'll just like... Yeah, yeah. Maybe
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: I'll ghost him. Maybe I'll give him another chance. And
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: then he's just kind of just straight up just not ghost.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: He's just going to ghost him, bro.
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Like, he's just not going to respond.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Dude, I really hope that that's not what it comes
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: down to.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I feel like she was probably setting up all the dates.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: And he was just kind of going on them because.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but guys, we're done. We're done, though. We are done.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy especially.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Biggest moron in town, baby.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Ovi continues, but he hasn't contacted me to organize anything,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: and it's been two to three days since we got
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: back from the beach. My friend said it was a
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: mutual ghost ship, which made me laugh at least.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, they both ghosted each other.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they both ghosted.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Look at that.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: All right, then.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: Look at that. We were thinking it was going to
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: be her or him. It was both of them. It
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: was both of them.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to block him on everything and let's leave.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: Sure, yeah.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: That's so funny.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Seeing as our lives were separate, I only have to
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: block his number and Facebook. That's it. Don't have anything
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: of his at my place and there's nothing of mine
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: at his. We only ever had one photo together on
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Facebook and I've already deleted that. This is probably the
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: easiest erase I've ever done.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's easy when you've never been in a relationship
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: to begin with.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's easy when you weren't dating him.
• 17:08
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Or, like, officially. Breakups are so.
• 17:12
  Speaker 9: Easy, dude.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so easy when you're not officially with this man.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Dude.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story. Good luck, OP.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Good luck. My girlfriend hid her pregnancy for a month,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: then told me in the worst way possible.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: She did the skywriting thing.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Man, I, 33 male, am humiliated but also emotional right now.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: I've been dating this girl, 24 female, for seven months,
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: but we had three short breakups during that time.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, seven months and three breakups? That is not good.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, talk about keeping the relationship spicy, I guess.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: Never know what's going to happen. So we are currently
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: still together, but took a week off of seeing each
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: other just because I got really busy at work. We
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: communicate maybe once a day. And today my receptionist said
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: I received a fax, which is weird.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: A fax?
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: What year is this? It's 2002.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: I never use the fax machine to send things. I
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: have never received a fax before.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: This is like if someone shows up with a telegram
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: and they're like, I've got a telegram for you.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: This is a pigeon flies into the window. Oh, we
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: got a message order for dear John. Stop. Stop.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I'm pregnant.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Stop. It is not something I would use at work.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: We have company email. So I look at the fax
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: cover sheet. It is to me, as expected, my girlfriend's
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: name is written. It is clearly her handwriting. The memo was,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: I hope we can discuss this. Cannot call now. This
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: is really reading as stop right now.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Literally, yeah. I hope we can discuss this.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Stop.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Cannot call now.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Stop.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: Let's talk tomorrow.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Stop.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: I turned the page and saw a really low quality
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: picture of what appeared to be made from a picture
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: of a pregnancy test.
• 19:12
  Speaker 6: Oh.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Getting faxed machine a pregnancy test is crazy work.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: It was positive.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: Below it she wrote, four weeks ago.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: Next is a printout of some sort of a medical facility.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Maybe an OBGYN. It is official. She
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: is pregnant and is apparently known for four weeks. By
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: the way, this comes from you slash uncomfortable indeed. And
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: the r slash okay story time subreddit. My name is Mike.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I'm Sophia.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: And today we're going to read this story, but we
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. and we're going to give advice,
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: but we don't always know all the answers. It's true.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: So if you guys know anything or have some piece
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: of advice, leave it down in the comments below.
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: Do it.
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: As OP says, I have tried to call her about
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: 20 times since then, but I do not get an answer. However,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: I do not think this is someone I want to marry.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: I also am really hurt with the way she told me.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: She told me such huge news via fax of all methods.
• 20:17
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Heck, even a text message would have been better than that.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Well, she clearly didn't want to talk to you.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. Sending a fax isn't like, hey, this is
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: like the.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: This is a conversation I want to have.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: It's like, this is the news, and do with that
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: what you will. I'm not talking to you.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: This is that's it for you. You know, she had
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: to have known that my receptionist, who was one of
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: the most gossipy people on earth, would see it. Not
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: an hour later, I had five or six coworkers congratulate
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: me on the news.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, this is terrible. This is like, hey, thank you.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: My work mom lectured me for about 10 minutes on
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: how I need to be a good father and how
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: I need to marry this girl. There are employees there
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: who I do not talk to much, but I can
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: tell that they know. I don't think that it is
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: the pregnancy thing that they care about, but the facts
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: part of things. Amen.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: And me too.
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: I just am not sure what to do.
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: Reddit.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: Do I have a right to be upset about this
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: and the way that she handled it? What do I
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: even say to her? I understand if it was hard
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: for her to tell me, but a fax that she
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: knew would be seen.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for real.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: How do I explain this to my family? And can
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I truly be a good father?
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Fax them. I don't know.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Send a fax back.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Just return the fax. Just be like, oh my God. Yeah.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: You fax her if you're excited or you're just like,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: you're not, you're scared.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. That's what fax machines are for.
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Should do that.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: This is tough.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What are we thinking, Sophia?
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I can't tell you
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: if you'll be a good father. You kind of have
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: to figure that one on your own.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: But you don't have to marry her.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: That is true. You don't have to.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: You could just kind of co-parent.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: But can I tell you this?
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't know if this is like, this is
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: maybe just like my background. This does seem very like immigrant,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: like just like scenario to where it's just like, it's the, well,
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: not the fax machine. Like definitely not that. But just, like,
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: it's the getting pregnant, you know, getting pregnant. It's on accident,
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: which I assume it's an accident. She doesn't know. Like,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: nobody knows what to do in this scenario.
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: You got the Cheeseman gossip workers over there, you know. But, like,
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like you just decide what
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: you want to do.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You somehow get in contact with her. You say, hey,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: what are we doing? VFX.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, VFX.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: You say, hey, what are we doing?
• 22:55
  Speaker 7: Whatever.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: And then you go back to your family and say, hey,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: I might be having a kid. And I need your help.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: Ooh, I kind of messed up here. Yeah.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: And then you wear protection from now on.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: Wrap it up.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: So we got an edit. I am literally nauseated. And
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: my supervisor, who also knew from the gossip, tells me
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: that this is not a medical emergency and will dock
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: my pay if I leave. Of course he did. I
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: am a wreck. We got another edit. Edit two. I
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: need some time to decompress, I think. But right now,
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: I just see no way I can stay with her
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: considering this. Maybe after we talk and she explains herself,
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: but she is still not answering my calls. She's probably
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: just scared.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's probably dealing with it herself. She's like, I
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: don't know how to do this.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I texted one of her friends who
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: says she is still at work. and she told me
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: she would give her a message to call me. I
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: did not tell her any details. Also, to the idiots
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: who are PMing me, telling me to just dump her,
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: and it's like, yeah, okay, thank you. As one person
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: put it, Just let her be a single mom. Jesus Christ, stop.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: That is not helpful. Maybe that is how you would
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: handle things. I won't. Updates. She did not respond to
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: any of my texts on the day in question or
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: the next day. I was waiting. How quick is this update?
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm trying to figure out.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Good point.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. This could be like two hours
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: from now.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: She hasn't responded. I haven't heard anything.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: I was waiting for her at her apartment when she
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: got home. She told me she didn't want to talk,
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: but I gently insisted. She invited me in and I
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: did my best to hide how livid I was. I
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: realized that some of you doubted she was pregnant in
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: the first place. While that accusation seemed odd to me
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: at the first time, I figured I would approach her
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: about it first. As I figured, and I never really
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: doubted in spite of the skepticism here, she is indeed pregnant.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, she sent a picture of the pregnancy test.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, also true.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: We had a pregnancy. And we also had the OBGYN report. Yeah.
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: We had a lot of proof.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: I don't think we're faking any medical documents over here.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I don't think there was any doubt about that.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but what do doctors know anyway?
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Doctors are liars.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: They are nothing but. That's what Reddit says.
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: They are nothing but. big fat liars from Redditor. I
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: hate doctors. She was a bit annoyed, but she said
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: she understood and went with it. She said she would
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: like for us to co-parent. However, she said that if
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I wanted nothing to do with the child, she would
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: be devastated, but would not put up a fight and
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: would not even seek child support. I assured her that
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: only a complete irresponsible man, piece of trash would accept
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: such an offer. And I'm not into that.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, good, Opie.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: All right, go off, King. Hell yeah. I definitely want
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: to try my best to co-parent. She has promised to
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: remain in the area, and I am invited to all
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: of her appointments. All right, there you go. I asked
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: her if she was sleeping with anybody else during the
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: time period in question. She said no, and she said
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: something to the effect of, trust me, it is your kid.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: Without further prompting, she told me we could do a
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: paternity test any time. including during the pregnancy and that
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: she would pay for it and asked me to pay
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: for half when I could say if I turn out
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: to be the father. But I'll be I'll be honest
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: with you. This sounds like this sounds like. she's a
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: bad chick bro she knows how to handle herself get
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: her money I.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Feel like I mean the relationship seems to not be
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: good but like it seems like she's handling.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: This pretty well she's handling it pretty good she's.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Like you don't have to I'll be sad but you
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: know also too you want to know what I like
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: about her though that she's standing on business you know
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: what I mean Take it.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: As a job. She's like, bro, I will pay. You're
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: sounding stupid right now, but I will pay just to like,
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: it's your kid. You know?
• 26:55
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: This is your kid. That is the result I expect,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: but I will do it just to be sure. Concerning
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: the fax thing. Okay, cool. She was dumbfounded that I
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: had a problem with this. Okay.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: So funny.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: She's like, what?
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: You don't fax all the time?
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Wait, I thought we still faxed today.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I thought everybody faxed.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: I thought everybody faxed. She said that it was the
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: easiest way to get the paperwork. Some people mention text too.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Text works.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: A picture. A picture, yes. Also does the job.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: Some people mentioned her printing an ultrasound from somewhere online.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: It wasn't an ultrasound.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: It was the OBGYN report. Yeah. It did not include
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: an ultrasound. She has not had one yet.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: It's been a month.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: So that was speculation. She sent a few pages from
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: the OBGYN. I asked her why she didn't tell me
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: by phone, text, email, just wait until I was done.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: She said, and I quote, I wanted to make sure
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: Nancy knew. Nancy is my... Who's Nancy?
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Well, I think we're about to find out.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: We're about to find out, right? Nancy is my ex-girlfriend
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: who is good friends with the receptionist.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Damn. She's messy.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Yo.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: She's like, fax is just really... It's just a really
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: good way to send things. And also, I wanted your
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: ex to know.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But also, dude, I like that kind of petty, though.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I low-key like that kind of petty.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: I'm just asserting my dominance.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Right? So... Nancy is continuously trying to get back together
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: with me. Oh, that's what it is. I knew she
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: was doubling down for some reason, bro. I knew she
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: was doubling down. She's good.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: She's good.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: She's on top of everything.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: Dude. Tell me about it.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: She's playing chess, man.
• 28:42
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: So this is a way to try to tell her
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: to back off. I would have gladly told Nancy myself, though.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: I'm about 95 percent no contact with her. Not a hundred, though.
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: She told me that the gossip around the office was
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: juvenile and that I should just ignore it. Somewhere in
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: the conversation, she leaned in to kiss me and to
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: try to initiate spicy stuff. I declined and backed away.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: All right, dude.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Not the time, girl. We're talking about our new kid.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: So this caused her to start crying and then told
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: me that she also did not think we should be
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: romantically involved anymore. She is all over the place, dude.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: I agreed with her. Eventually, I left pretty upset about
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: the whole thing. and still trying to figure out how
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: to best handle the future. About an hour later, she
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: sent me a text telling me that she loved me
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: and saying that when she told me she wanted to
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: end things that she thought I would ask her to stay.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: She didn't do it to test me. She just wanted
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: to feel important to me. I chalked it up to
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: pregnancy hormones, but who knows? I cannot trust her again.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: Just the fact that she doesn't see the big deal
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: of sending a fax. OK, I don't think that's the
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: big deal, bro.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Just going back one more time.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: One more time about the fax machine, though. You know,
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: it's like, brother. OK, get over it. So not the
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: big deal of sending a fax machine and knowing she
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: did it intentionally to get to Nancy is ridiculous. I
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: didn't think it was to make it public like it had,
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: but I expected it was more than just being the
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: best way to send information. I don't think we can
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: wrap this up. We talked about it. I think we
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: talked about it. I think like he's not really being
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: considerate of just like, yeah, you know what I mean?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I think pregnancy hormones can be a lot.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: And also she just found out.
• 30:36
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: And it was not planned.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I do think there may be not the right for
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: each other romantically given everything that's happening.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Well, I would say probably give them about like two
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: more breakups and then they should be good.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: And then, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it two more tries
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: and then we'll know for sure.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: But I think at least try and have some sort
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: of amicable relationship so that you can like co-parent.
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: All right, man. Got to meet in the middle sometimes.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: She do well there is an update we are going
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: no contact for a bit but I did send her
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: flowers confusing well there you go I cannot say that
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: I love her and I cannot say that I will
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: be able to look past this. I do, however, have
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: to be, this guy is, oh man. This is such a,
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: it's such like an on and off. Yeah.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know the flowers and the, I don't know.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah. The flowers is kind of like.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: I think he just needs a minute. I think she's
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: all over the place a little bit and he's also all.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Over the place.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. Also true. Also true. They're both all over
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: the place.
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Maybe they are perfect for each other.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe actually taking it back.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Let's get back together.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: Let's get back. And that's number six, folks.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: I do, however, have to be a good parent. I
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: also learned that there are some awesome people on this subreddit,
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: but also some very cynical ones. Still, I appreciated both sides.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: So now, what do I do? He later updated with
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: an edit. Someone asked about work. Everything has calmed down
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: for the most part, thankfully. It is business as usual.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: It was a running joke for a bit, but I
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: came in on Monday and most people didn't say anything
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: about it.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, cool. They've got something else to focus on.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Eventually, there's going to be new workplace drama.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: There always is.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: Always is. So the receptionist, administrative assistant, is always annoying
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: in general, but she seems to be especially judgmental now.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: I guess now that I realize the Nancy angle, it
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: makes sense. I didn't even think about it. My boss
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: even voluntarily told me that if I needed to take
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: some days off for appointments that he understood, which was
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: pretty cool of him. I had never really seen that side.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: And that is that story.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: That is a big switch up from him being like,
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: you can't take any time off.
• 32:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: It's just a medical emergency.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: You're not allowed to leave.
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: Dude, that is so true. I forgot about that.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, then.
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: All right, boss.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: Sure.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: Get some paid time off, I guess.
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: Well.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Good luck, OP.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, best of luck.
• 33:09
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 33:11
  Speaker 11: go to the next one. Hey, it's Carly, your favorite
• 33:15
  Speaker 11: axolotl host here.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 33:22
  Speaker 7: My girlfriend stopped supporting my career and I blamed her
• 33:26
  Speaker 7: parents for it.
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: Good, go after the elders.
• 33:29
  Speaker 7: Gee Ann and I have been together since she was
• 33:32
  Speaker 7: in middle school and I was in high school. She
• 33:34
  Speaker 7: is the best friend of my little sister and I
• 33:37
  Speaker 7: have known her since elementary school pretty much.
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: Wow, I actually hate that a lot. Anyway, I have
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: always been in love with music.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Thank God.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought that was going to get
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: even worse.
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: For a second.
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: When I turned 18, I got booked to DJ at a.
• 33:54
  Speaker 7: Skating rink in town. Gianne supported me like crazy. For
• 33:58
  Speaker 7: the next few years, she came to listen to my
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: sets no matter where I was currently booked. Her parents,
• 34:03
  Speaker 7: on the other hand, haven't been quite so supportive. They
• 34:06
  Speaker 7: think that I'm wasting my life and that I am
• 34:09
  Speaker 7: not and never have been good enough for her. At
• 34:12
  Speaker 7: one point, they forced her to go out on dates
• 34:14
  Speaker 7: with other guys. They've been trying to separate us forever.
• 34:18
  Speaker 7: I kind of love that technique of like the, oh, yeah,
• 34:21
  Speaker 7: for sure. If I make her go on dates with
• 34:23
  Speaker 7: other guys, she won't even feel like more inclined to
• 34:27
  Speaker 7: date that guy we don't like.
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: Telling your kids they can't do something never makes them
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: want to do that thing twice as hard.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: Exactly!
• 34:35
  Speaker 7: It's against the rules! That's why kids never break rules!
• 34:39
  Speaker 7: Things changed after Jeanne graduated and started university. I've been
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: getting more and more gigs and playing at bigger clubs.
• 34:47
  Speaker 7: People have started to recognize me. I feel that my
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: time is finally coming. Jeanne is not happy for me anymore, though.
• 34:56
  Speaker 7: She doesn't even come to listen to my sets. She
• 34:59
  Speaker 7: always complains about money, and she complains that being a
• 35:02
  Speaker 7: musician won't be enough to take care of our future children.
• 35:05
  Speaker 7: She says that I can't take care of her this way.
• 35:07
  Speaker 7: Last night, Jian finally said it. She said that it
• 35:11
  Speaker 7: was time for me to grow up and get a
• 35:13
  Speaker 7: real job.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: It's every DJ's worst nightmare.
• 35:18
  Speaker 7: She wants me to go and work at her father's
• 35:20
  Speaker 7: Korean barbecue restaurant.
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: I don't know, bro. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: to me.
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like I don't know how much money Korean barbecue
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: restaurants are making, but I feel like.
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: I've spent a pretty penny on Korean barbecue.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: You've single-handedly kept them afloat.
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: I just might.
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: But I still feel like DJ, if he's getting bigger gigs,
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: he's got to be making something.
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he's on the right trajectory. By the way.
• 35:48
  Speaker 7: This comes from user ElectronicDanceMagic. And if you want to
• 35:52
  Speaker 7: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: I'm Dakota.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: And I'm Adrian.
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: And I'm Savannah.
• 35:57
  Speaker 7: And it's our job to oomph oomph our way through
• 36:00
  Speaker 7: this story and give some good advice goofily. But we
• 36:03
  Speaker 7: don't have all of your DJ answers. We only know
• 36:05
  Speaker 7: what we do. So let us know what you would
• 36:07
  Speaker 7: do in the comments. And OP says... Her saying this
• 36:10
  Speaker 7: just tells me that her parents finally got to her.
• 36:13
  Speaker 7: They finally turned her against me.
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: Okay, Anakin Skywalker.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say. It's over. She has the high ground.
• 36:23
  Speaker 7: She knows that this has been my dream forever. I
• 36:26
  Speaker 7: support the fact that she wants to go to college
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: and get into crippling debt and try to become a vet.
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: Do you support that? Because it sounds like you're a
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: little bitter about it.
• 36:35
  Speaker 7: So if I support that, she should support me too, right?
• 36:40
  Speaker 7: And by the way, my genre is EDM. I do
• 36:43
  Speaker 7: play other types of music if I get booked for
• 36:45
  Speaker 7: a wedding or a quinceanera or something. How do I
• 36:47
  Speaker 7: convince her that my dream is valid and that even
• 36:50
  Speaker 7: though I'm barely scraping by, With hard work, I can
• 36:52
  Speaker 7: build a life for us both with my music.
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: And there is an update. I have bad news for you, pal.
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: The way that you prove it is by being like,
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry you feel that way, Gian. I wish you
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: the best.
• 37:01
  Speaker 7: And then you become that guy and you live the
• 37:04
  Speaker 7: rest of your life.
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: That's how you do it.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:07
  Speaker 4: He was a skater boy and she said, See you later, boy.
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: Bro, she's saying see you later, boy, right now.
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: Right now. You're in the see you later, boy phase.
• 37:15
  Speaker 7: And I don't know if you've heard the rest of
• 37:16
  Speaker 7: that song, but by the end of it, you're a superstar, dude.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: She's seeing you on TV.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:22
  Speaker 7: So think about that. But, you know, it's never good
• 37:25
  Speaker 7: to have hate in your heart. So don't do it
• 37:27
  Speaker 7: with hate, but use it as fuel, dude. Like, honestly, people,
• 37:30
  Speaker 7: the artists need that. Artists need that fuel.
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: Sometimes there's that thing where you're like, I'm going to
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: show them, you know, and you can use it.
• 37:37
  Speaker 9: That's what make great artists, the struggles that they go through,
• 37:40
  Speaker 9: not when they're all happy and loving and me, me, me, me.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: It's more like my life sucks. I'm going to write
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: something about it.
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: This guy's going to make the greatest set.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: List of all time. Just straight bangers.
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: Update.
• 37:52
  Speaker 7: So after work last Saturday night, I was talking to
• 37:56
  Speaker 7: some of the club security about my problem. This guy, Jose,
• 37:59
  Speaker 7: said that I should come and work with him at
• 38:01
  Speaker 7: his job. He's a painter, and he said that his
• 38:04
  Speaker 7: company is in need of helpers. The schedule works with
• 38:06
  Speaker 7: my DJ schedule, too. It's Monday to Friday, 6 a.m.
• 38:09
  Speaker 7: to 2.30, and Saturday, 5 a.m. to 11 a.m. The
• 38:12
  Speaker 7: work was not too hard. It's mostly just standing around,
• 38:15
  Speaker 7: holding onto a hose, mixing paint, and cleaning brushes. Sometimes
• 38:18
  Speaker 7: I would hold onto a ladder or something. The job
• 38:21
  Speaker 7: comes with health, dental, and vision, with a 40% copay
• 38:24
  Speaker 7: and a 401k. 4% all in.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: Yo, are you still hiring? Cause like hook a brother up.
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: It's like, you got to hold a hose and fill
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: a bucket and mix paint.
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: 401k for a painting job. It's crazy.
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Hey dude.
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: I mean, talk about, yeah, the blue collars are up.
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: Not sure what that means, but it's 401k.
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: It means you have $ 401, 000. No, but okay.
• 38:50
  Speaker 7: I used to think that until like way too recently.
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: Like not even a year ago.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: 30 seconds before this stream started.
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: I just never, I was like, it made sense.
• 39:02
  Speaker 7: I mean, that sounds like a good amount of money
• 39:03
  Speaker 7: you want to have before you retire.
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: It's a really specific number to pick if you're not
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: going to actually give me 401k. I'm like, maybe they
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: got it.
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: Once they get to 401, it stops. Yeah.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why would they lie?
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: It's just the name of the form. It's just the
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: name of the form.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: Well, that's false advertisement.
• 39:22
  Speaker 9: Okay.
• 39:23
  Speaker 7: So I took a picture of myself in my new uniform,
• 39:26
  Speaker 7: orange rubber work boots, white coveralls, orange rubber gloves. and
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: a respirator. I sent the picture to GN saying, check
• 39:33
  Speaker 7: out my new uniform. I didn't expect her to respond
• 39:35
  Speaker 7: at 6 a.m., but she did.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: She didn't believe me at first.
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: And when she finally did.
• 39:40
  Speaker 7: She told me that I needed to come to her
• 39:41
  Speaker 7: house directly after work because there was something important that
• 39:45
  Speaker 7: we needed to talk about. So, after work, I went
• 39:48
  Speaker 7: to see Jeanne. Her family went out for breakfast to
• 39:51
  Speaker 7: give us time to talk. She congratulated me on the job.
• 39:55
  Speaker 7: She said that she knew I could do it and
• 39:57
  Speaker 7: that she loved me. She also apologized for her attitude
• 40:00
  Speaker 7: the past couple of months. She said she needed to
• 40:02
  Speaker 7: tell me something. She has wanted to tell me for
• 40:05
  Speaker 7: a while, but she was too afraid.
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: Working as a DJ... It's amazing, she said.
• 40:10
  Speaker 7: She said that she knows I'm very talented and that
• 40:13
  Speaker 7: given enough time, I could be huge. The problem is
• 40:16
  Speaker 7: there isn't enough time anymore.
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: Then she told me she's pregnant.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: Oh, boy.
• 40:23
  Speaker 7: At this point, she starts crying. She is sobbing so
• 40:26
  Speaker 7: hard that I can hardly understand her. She says to
• 40:29
  Speaker 7: me that she's so sorry that she must have missed
• 40:32
  Speaker 7: a day taking birth control and that she didn't realize
• 40:34
  Speaker 7: it until it.
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: Was too late.
• 40:36
  Speaker 7: I asked her if she was sure and she said yes.
• 40:39
  Speaker 7: She has been to a doctor, and it was not
• 40:41
  Speaker 7: a false positive. I tried to hug her and tell
• 40:44
  Speaker 7: her it's going to be okay. I tell her there
• 40:46
  Speaker 7: are options.
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: She cries even harder. Yeah, I don't know if I
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: would have led with that, brother.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that feels like a second or third conversation, not
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: right off the top.
• 40:55
  Speaker 7: I think maybe you just go, you know, I support
• 40:58
  Speaker 7: whatever your decision is.
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: This, you know, I'm not like, well, you know.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Statistics say. You know, if you.
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: Really think my DJ career could take off, there is something.
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: There are options.
• 41:12
  Speaker 7: Anyway, she pretty much screams no in my ear. She's
• 41:16
  Speaker 7: going to keep the baby. She just stayed in my arms,
• 41:18
  Speaker 7: sobbing for a little while. I was the first person
• 41:21
  Speaker 7: she told.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 41:23
  Speaker 6: Oh.
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: So her parents didn't even know.
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: Parents don't know yet.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: I was thinking that, too. I was like, they probably knew.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: That's why they left, to give them some space. But
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: I guess not.
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: That's gonna, the parents who don't think you're good enough
• 41:35
  Speaker 5: for their daughter?
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: Oh boy. They're not gonna love that.
• 41:38
  Speaker 7: She had been dealing with this all on her own
• 41:41
  Speaker 7: for months. I thought she just put on a little
• 41:43
  Speaker 7: weight and I didn't want to mention it.
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: Good for you, I guess. I guess that's right. That's
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: the right way to go about that.
• 41:51
  Speaker 7: I had been blaming her for changing on me and
• 41:54
  Speaker 7: for trying to change me into something I'm not. And
• 41:57
  Speaker 7: after all this, I felt like a massive dummy. After
• 42:01
  Speaker 7: Gian calmed down, she explained a little more. She said
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: she was going to leave school. She would work in
• 42:06
  Speaker 7: her dad's restaurant until she had the baby in order
• 42:09
  Speaker 7: to save money. Then we could get a place together
• 42:11
  Speaker 7: since my place is too small for two people and
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: a baby. She wanted me to come with her when
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: she broke the news to her family and she would
• 42:17
  Speaker 7: come with me when I told mine. She said she's
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: proud of me that I got a day job with
• 42:22
  Speaker 7: benefits and she apologized to me again for ruining everything.
• 42:26
  Speaker 7: I tried to tell her that it isn't her fault
• 42:28
  Speaker 7: and that everything would be fine. I can tell, though,
• 42:30
  Speaker 7: that she really is blaming herself. Last night, we had
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: dinner with all of the parents together. We told them
• 42:36
  Speaker 7: everything about the baby, about my job, about her deciding
• 42:39
  Speaker 7: to quit school. My parents took things okay. They have
• 42:43
  Speaker 7: always loved Gianne. They wanted us to have children together
• 42:47
  Speaker 7: one day. They expressed disappointment that we made a mistake
• 42:50
  Speaker 7: like this right now, and they know it will be hard,
• 42:53
  Speaker 7: but they think that we can handle it.
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: I mean, any closing thought? I mean, I'm optimistic.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think, you know, life comes at you fast sometimes,
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: but it seems like they're moving forward.
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that you're in a good spot.
• 43:09
  Speaker 7: And, you know, I mean, you want to make sure
• 43:11
  Speaker 7: you're taking care of Jeanne, and especially once the baby's here,
• 43:14
  Speaker 7: you got to make sure you're.
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: Taking care of the baby.
• 43:16
  Speaker 7: But until then, if you really are talented and good
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: at this DJ thing, the potential upside for that is
• 43:23
  Speaker 7: pretty good.
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: If you've got the chaps, you know? Sure.
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Take care of the baby during the day. Rock the
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: club at night.
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: That's a good setup.
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: I mean, if the money's right, the money's right.
• 43:35
  Speaker 7: I've heard some of the numbers, you know, sought after
• 43:39
  Speaker 7: DJs get, and it is great money.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: 401k money. Yeah, exactly.
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: But like actually 401k.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 43:47
  Speaker 10: $ 401, 000.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:53
  Speaker 7: Okay, let's see how Jian's parents take the news. Jian's
• 43:57
  Speaker 7: parents were not so understanding. They berated her for being
• 44:01
  Speaker 7: so irresponsible. Her father said that she is disgraceful. And
• 44:05
  Speaker 7: I could tell that she wanted to cry, but she
• 44:08
  Speaker 7: held it in and only apologized more for our mistake.
• 44:12
  Speaker 7: Her father said that they would not support her anymore.
• 44:14
  Speaker 7: He gave her until the baby is born to move out.
• 44:16
  Speaker 7: As of right then, though, she wouldn't receive one single
• 44:19
  Speaker 7: dime that she didn't work for herself. It seemed like
• 44:22
  Speaker 7: her mother was going to say something different, but he
• 44:24
  Speaker 7: shushed her with a sideways glance. Things are going to
• 44:27
  Speaker 7: be harder than ever for me. I will be working
• 44:30
  Speaker 7: harder than I ever have in my life, but at
• 44:32
  Speaker 7: least I have a reason. I still refuse to give
• 44:34
  Speaker 7: up music, though. I didn't tell her that I saved
• 44:37
  Speaker 7: up $ 5, 000 in the last few years for an engagement ring.
• 44:40
  Speaker 7: Maybe I should use what I have and get her
• 44:42
  Speaker 7: a ring. I really doubt she will say no now.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 44:46
  Speaker 5: I trapped her. That's one way to think about that.
• 44:50
  Speaker 7: Let's maybe instead of buying a ring for $ 5, 000, we
• 44:55
  Speaker 7: put that away for the baby, right?
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, or for rent on that new place you're going
• 44:59
  Speaker 4: to need.
• 44:59
  Speaker 7: Yeah, literally anything except the engagement ring. We can take
• 45:03
  Speaker 7: care of that later.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you can still propose, but like, you know.
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: I got this for like 70 bucks.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: Go.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: Go. Get that.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: It's pretty. I like it.
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: It's the thought that counts.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: And I would appreciate it.
• 45:16
  Speaker 7: If I was her, I would appreciate it if you
• 45:17
  Speaker 7: were thinking about saving that money for our baby.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: Um, yeah.
• 45:22
  Speaker 7: So good luck on your burgeoning music career and your
• 45:26
  Speaker 7: burgeoning fatherhood and also low key, like getting the job
• 45:29
  Speaker 7: for the painting company. Dude, every single guy you work
• 45:33
  Speaker 7: with is going to support you so heavy for being
• 45:37
  Speaker 7: like a father at your age. They are going to
• 45:39
  Speaker 7: have your back all the time.
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: I guarantee it.
• 45:41
  Speaker 4: And that's what you need because it takes a village.
• 45:43
  Speaker 5: Truly.
• 45:44
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: As I say, and you have a village full of painters.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: They can paint you a better life.
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: Yes. Yes, there's some poetry in there somewhere.
• 45:53
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 45:55
  Speaker 11: go to the next one.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: My girlfriend sent private photos to multiple people. So I
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: ended it right there. This was private.
• 46:03
  Speaker 9: My girlfriend, 20 female, and I, 21 male, have been
• 46:06
  Speaker 9: dating for just over a year now.
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: She wanted to get her nips pierced for a while now,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: and a few weeks ago, she went through with it.
• 46:14
  Speaker 9: She talked about this pretty openly with a lot of
• 46:16
  Speaker 9: her friends, which seemed kind of strange to me, but
• 46:19
  Speaker 9: it's not really my business what she talks about, so
• 46:22
  Speaker 9: I didn't really care. A couple days ago, I happened
• 46:24
  Speaker 9: to be looking over her shoulder as she was texting
• 46:26
  Speaker 9: one of her friends, and I saw that she was
• 46:28
  Speaker 9: texting a topless photo of herself.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Okay, I will say, from my friends who have experienced this...
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: Not that they sent this to me, but like from
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: my friends who have experienced, like I have, I think
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: I know multiple people who have done this and they
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: all say, yeah, no, I want it. I was sending
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: like pictures of them so that everyone could like, I
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: was showing people. Yeah. Cause you were like, why, why,
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: why would you get them if you didn't want to
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: show them? So unless she's sending these to like male friends,
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: but sorry, what were you saying? No, I like to
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: send all of my body parts to my sisters.
• 46:59
  Speaker 9: My sister literally, actually, it's funny that we say this
• 47:01
  Speaker 9: because my sister said she just got new nip things, whatever.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: You're really putting your sister on blast. She's fine. She
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: would show up.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: She would.
• 47:14
  Speaker 9: But she just sent us. She's like, I took a
• 47:17
  Speaker 9: really good picture for my boyfriend.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Which kind of makes.
• 47:20
  Speaker 9: And you guys have to see it because it's probably
• 47:22
  Speaker 9: the best photo I've taken.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: So I feel like it's not that crazy that OP
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: is out here... sending picture or no sorry OP's girlfriend
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: is sending pictures to friends so I like that's not
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: that crazy.
• 47:33
  Speaker 12: I I think it is crazy just invite him over yeah.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: Sure show him but like if you but like if
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: it's a male friend different but if it's like your
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: girlfriends i there is there is different it's like a different.
• 47:45
  Speaker 9: Vibe yeah if it's guy friends and i'm like yeah
• 47:48
  Speaker 9: like i don't think guy friends do this but like
• 47:49
  Speaker 9: girlfriends are very we're very open i at least yeah
• 47:53
  Speaker 9: i am with my friends.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: Okay i'm very open i change all the time in
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: front of everyone like i've had friends who've been like
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: hey look at this picture and i'm like okay thanks
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: i do not care yeah um I confronted her about this,
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: and she told me that she was showing him her
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: new piercings. And there we have it. Is this a
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: straight male friend? Because now, you know, I really was trying.
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: I was sticking my neck out for her, and they
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: just chopped it.
• 48:19
  Speaker 9: I got pretty angry and asked her how many times
• 48:21
  Speaker 9: she'd done this, and she showed me her recent texts.
• 48:24
  Speaker 9: From what I could tell, she sent photos to five
• 48:26
  Speaker 9: guys and six girls. Oh!
• 48:30
  Speaker 12: They might as well have been there when she did it.
• 48:34
  Speaker 9: Uh, I basically flipped out and asked her why the
• 48:37
  Speaker 9: heck she thought I would be okay with that.
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 48:39
  Speaker 9: And she said it was totally non, non-schmexual. And she
• 48:42
  Speaker 9: didn't see why it was a big deal.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Well, because you are telling her it's a big deal.
• 48:47
  Speaker 11: True.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: It might not be non-schmexual for her, but it is
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: a big deal for you.
• 48:51
  Speaker 9: Yeah. Uh, we fought about it for a few minutes
• 48:55
  Speaker 9: and she apologized, but didn't even seem to realize why
• 48:58
  Speaker 9: I was so upset.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: What should I do here? Am I right to be
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: upset about this?
• 49:03
  Speaker 9: By the way, this comes from Relationship Throw 51, and
• 49:06
  Speaker 9: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 49:07
  Speaker 9: the rslashokstorytime subreddit.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: I'm Riley.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: And we hate to talk.
• 49:12
  Speaker 9: About some stuff and, you know, comment on some things,
• 49:14
  Speaker 9: but we don't have all your answers. We're only going
• 49:16
  Speaker 9: to tell you what we would.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Do, but let us know what you'd do down in
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: them comments.
• 49:20
  Speaker 9: It would be one thing if it was just her
• 49:22
  Speaker 9: female friends, but the thought that five other guys had
• 49:26
  Speaker 9: just seen my girlfriend's chest and have photos of her
• 49:29
  Speaker 9: to add to their personal spanks seriously bothers me.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: Super fair.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: Super fair.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: And she doesn't even see what's wrong with it.
• 49:36
  Speaker 5: She's bank.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: That's what they call it. Yeah, that's crazy. Pretty famously.
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: What?
• 49:42
  Speaker 9: I know some of these guys and the thought that
• 49:44
  Speaker 9: they've all seen my girlfriend in such an intimate way
• 49:47
  Speaker 9: really pisses me off.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Really pees me off.
• 49:51
  Speaker 9: These weren't even just pics of her nips. They were
• 49:55
  Speaker 9: full body pics of her wearing just sweatpants with her
• 49:58
  Speaker 9: face in full view. She basically offered to show them
• 50:02
  Speaker 9: without them even having to ask, which makes it even
• 50:04
  Speaker 9: worse in my opinion. Yeah, I can see why this
• 50:09
  Speaker 9: would be taking the wrong way.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just the, yeah. I mean, again, I can
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: see how she might have thought, well, I'm comfortable, but
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: I just don't understand how she couldn't have even considered
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: OP's feelings. Yeah. Or even still hasn't considered them.
• 50:24
  Speaker 12: I would Thanos snap myself away.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: I really don't know what to do here. And there's
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: an update six days later.
• 50:30
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it out.
• 50:35
  Speaker 4: Break up.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 50:36
  Speaker 12: Break up or find all five of those guys, make
• 50:39
  Speaker 12: them lose their memory, and.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: Stay with her. Do the Men in Black mind wipe
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: update six days later.
• 50:46
  Speaker 9: After taking a day to think about it, I decided
• 50:48
  Speaker 9: to talk to her like a lot of people were suggesting.
• 50:51
  Speaker 9: I brought up that I was really angry about what
• 50:53
  Speaker 9: she did and it violated my personal boundaries. She asked
• 50:56
  Speaker 9: what the problem was and I told her that I
• 50:59
  Speaker 9: wasn't comfortable with her sending those kind of messages to
• 51:02
  Speaker 9: other guys while we were dating.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: She just said that I had nothing to worry about
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: and it was totally non-schmectual. And then you go, for you,
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: for you. But you cannot guarantee that all five of
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: those men that you sent it to consider it non-schmexual.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: And I don't consider it that. They're like, yeah. Yes,
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: this is totally non-schmexual. Maybe they could be great guys,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: but we don't know.
• 51:27
  Speaker 9: I feel like that would also cause, if, say, the
• 51:29
  Speaker 9: five other guys were in relationships, that would cause a rift.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Are any of these men in relationships?
• 51:35
  Speaker 12: Oh my gosh, did that happen? I'm calling my girlfriend
• 51:37
  Speaker 12: immediately and telling her what happened.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: Well, also, it's concerning. Honestly, I think it is really
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: rude on this girl's end because OP said they didn't
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: even ask. That's true. Yeah, she just sent a, I
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: don't know where. Which is totally inappropriate if she didn't say, hey,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: can I send you a pic? Imagine them working their
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: accounting job and all of a sudden be like, oh.
• 51:55
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: Whoa.
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Oh. Oh.
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: Did that hurt?
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 52:00
  Speaker 12: That's a bunch of zeros.
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: Like the colors. Yeah.
• 52:03
  Speaker 9: I was getting pretty angry at that point, so I
• 52:06
  Speaker 9: just told her that even if.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: She really felt that way, it was still a serious
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: problem for me. I think, honestly, it's just the communication.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: And she refuses to compromise, understand you. And she's making this.
• 52:19
  Speaker 9: She's... manipulating you in a way that is more like
• 52:23
  Speaker 9: it's not that big of a deal when it is
• 52:25
  Speaker 9: a big deal especially to you like you can't if
• 52:27
  Speaker 9: someone finds something a big deal the worst thing you
• 52:30
  Speaker 9: can say is calm it's not a big deal yeah
• 52:32
  Speaker 9: calm down it's not a big deal calm down it's
• 52:34
  Speaker 9: not a big deal like now i just want to
• 52:36
  Speaker 9: beat you yeah and also elevate everything else to being
• 52:39
  Speaker 9: the biggest deal just to prove you wrong.
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah right now that's how opie.
• 52:43
  Speaker 9: Feels he's going yeah She asked me why I was
• 52:47
  Speaker 9: so obsessed with this, and I just kind of flipped
• 52:49
  Speaker 9: out and told her to knock it off or we
• 52:51
  Speaker 9: were done.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: She asked me to calm down. I'm telling you.
• 52:54
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: And there it is. That's the first sign of the eruption.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: He already snapped.
• 52:59
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: And now you're like, calm down, girl. No, no, no, no, no.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: Mm-mm.
• 53:04
  Speaker 9: She asked me to calm down and still didn't seem
• 53:07
  Speaker 9: to understand why I was so upset. I was getting
• 53:10
  Speaker 9: really annoyed that she kept expecting me to explain something
• 53:13
  Speaker 9: this obvious. So I just broke up with her right there.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: Whoa.
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: I saw her coming a mile away. Fair.
• 53:20
  Speaker 9: She seemed a little upset and asked if I was
• 53:22
  Speaker 9: sure and said it was a pretty dumb thing to
• 53:25
  Speaker 9: break up over.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: Don't really think that's too dumb.
• 53:27
  Speaker 9: No. I just said I was sure and walked away.
• 53:30
  Speaker 9: I think I made the right decision. I tried a
• 53:32
  Speaker 9: couple times, but she really didn't seem to give any Fs.
• 53:35
  Speaker 9: So walking away was the best choice I had. There
• 53:38
  Speaker 9: are a million other girls out there who aren't crazy.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 53:44
  Speaker 12: And for context, OP is 21. Girlfriend is 20.
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: You'll find someone else. Don't you worry, OP. You've only
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: been with this girl for like a year.
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, a year.
• 53:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah.
• 53:54
  Speaker 12: You'll find someone else.
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 53:57
  Speaker 9: I mean, it stinks, but, you know, that's kind of
• 53:59
  Speaker 9: when you start to show true colors.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when you tell someone that they hurt you and
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: they just dig their heels in and they refuse to admit.
• 54:07
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 54:09
  Speaker 11: go to the next one.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend's 10-day trip is with his ex-fiance, and he
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: never told me. Ooh, that's prick-worthy. I, 53 female, have
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: been seeing a guy, 59 male, for the last three months,
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: and we have been getting closer and closer, especially over
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: the last few weeks. He told me he dates with
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: the intention of marriage and has been single for a while.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: While looking for the right person, I have been single
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: for the last eight years by choice. When I met him,
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: he ticked a lot of boxes and I decided to
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: give it a go. He invited me to go on
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: a trip with him in September and I agreed to
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: go because I felt like this relationship was moving in
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: a good direction. There has been a lot of talks
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: of future plans for trips and the fun things we'll
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: do this summer. Three weeks ago, he mentioned that he
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: had an upcoming album. 10-day trip planned to Canada. He
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: told me he had originally booked the trip himself, but
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: that he had a friend who lived in Washington and
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: she was going to come up and meet him. He
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: was very casual about it and gave me the impression
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: that maybe she was joining him for a couple of days.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from SquirrelUnusual4280, and if you
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 55:19
  Speaker 5: I'm Riley.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: And Opie says, just last week, he shared with me
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: that he was engaged about five years ago. He had
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: told me a great deal what happened with all of
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: his marriages, but gave me a very vague explanation of
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: what went wrong with the engagement. He just said things
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: didn't work out. He told me she had moved here
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: from the West Coast when they got engaged. And when
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: they broke it off, she moved back to Washington. I
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: realized in that moment that the person coming to meet
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: him on his trip was probably his ex-fiance.
• 55:52
  Speaker 12: And because you're so smart, you connected it.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: You connected the freaking dots. He had several other opportunities
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: to tell me it was her, but he didn't. When
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: I asked him who was joining him and for how long,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: he said her name. I knew her name because he
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: still had pictures of them together on Facebook, and he
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: still did not say, When I asked him how he
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: met this person, pretending I still didn't have any inkling
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: of who he was traveling with, He just told me
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: vaguely they had met through mutual hiking friends. Again, still
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: did not say ex-fiance. No. You're about to have another ex, buddy.
• 56:32
  Speaker 9: Yeah, you got to rip the band-aid off. Why are
• 56:34
  Speaker 9: you trying to dance around it? I already know.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: Marriages and a failed engagement after those three marriages. There's
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: a reason why this guy is not with anyone. He's
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: not learning anything.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: I understand he may have made plans with her before
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: things progressed with me, but he could have explained that
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: to me with full transparency. To me, he is lying
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: by omission and it feels very deceitful. I sent him
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: a text letting him know how I feel and I
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: still haven't heard back from him. He's about to get
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: on a plane and leave for 10 days. I'm most
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: upset about the lack of transparency because that makes me
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: feel like there's something he's hiding somewhere. Advice? And we
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: have an update. What do you think Opie should do?
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: Call him out.
• 57:13
  Speaker 4: Call him out.
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: Call him out immediately.
• 57:14
  Speaker 9: I wouldn't even break up because I wouldn't like, I
• 57:17
  Speaker 9: would want him to like try to be like, oh,
• 57:20
  Speaker 9: I'll fix it. Like I wouldn't break up immediately because
• 57:23
  Speaker 9: I would want to see like what he's going to
• 57:24
  Speaker 9: do to try to like figure this out.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: He is 59. Yeah.
• 57:28
  Speaker 4: By the way.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: He's too old to be up to these shenanigans.
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:31
  Speaker 12: And he's been married three times. Had an ex-fiance.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 57:34
  Speaker 12: I know he checks a lot of your boxes, but
• 57:36
  Speaker 12: that's worrisome.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Well, clearly, yeah. He's clearly a charmer. He just hasn't.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: He's a charmer, but he's not a committer.
• 57:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: Charmer, not committer. But we have an update. I sent
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: him a text calling him out and letting him know
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: I was done. yeah he did respond with arrogance which
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: further underscored why i am all set with this guy
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: i'm editing to add how he responded he totally gaslit
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: me he said we had had a clear conversation about
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: it once which we did not he drip fed me
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: information until i finally connected the dots the day before
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: yesterday and he felt that was sufficient so he didn't
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: feel the need to bring it up again then he
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: told me that the stance i was taking on this
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: was disturbing to him i'm sorry what now What's disturbing, Savannah?
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: That's crazy to say.
• 58:23
  Speaker 9: He said, it's disturbing that you are breaking up with
• 58:26
  Speaker 9: me when I lied about going to go on a
• 58:29
  Speaker 9: trip with my ex.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he said, your take on this is disturbing. The
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: fact that you want to break up because I lied? Disturbing.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I thought you were just going to take that. I
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: thought you were going to be okay with this. Yeah.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: There's a little bit left. He's blocked. I'm feeling fine,
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: and I'm just looking at my own part in the
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: story and taking mental notes. Yes, three marriages and a
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: failed engagement are definitely red flags, but he didn't speak
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: poorly about any of his exes, and I gave him
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt, probably because I was hopeful
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: there was something good here. I unfortunately just met a
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: new version of the same guy I've dated a million
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: times before. Luckily, this time I caught it before it
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: went much further. I have dated casually over the Lovely. Sure.
• 59:00
  Speaker 10: I hope he said, I don't need a man. I'm
• 59:24
  Speaker 10: disturbed by your four failed marriages.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man. Truthfully. Yeah. That's just, that's really disturbing.
• 59:30
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 59:32
  Speaker 11: go to the next one.
• 59:34
  Speaker 9: I told my boyfriend not to ask my father for
• 59:37
  Speaker 9: my hand.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: He did anyway.
• 59:39
  Speaker 9: Don't even look at his hand. I, 25 female, have
• 59:42
  Speaker 9: been dating my boyfriend, 25 male, for almost two years now.
• 59:46
  Speaker 9: We met in college, and things have been an absolute
• 59:48
  Speaker 9: dream so far. He's kind and supportive, comes from a
• 59:51
  Speaker 9: great background, and has always put me first. We've always
• 59:55
  Speaker 9: known that we both want to get married someday, and
• 59:57
  Speaker 9: we've discussed at length what that means to us. And
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 9: our views align for the most part. The problem is,
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 9: he wants to ask my father for my hand in marriage.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 9: For context, my father was the worst for everyone. In
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 9: our household, I vividly remember the way the tone of
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 9: the entire home shifted when we saw his car pull
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 9: up in the driveway. My parents never got divorced. They're
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 9: separated now but are more interested in keeping up appearances
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 9: than actually going through the process of divorce. That being said,
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 9: I had a rather ugly childhood. I don't think my
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 9: boyfriend understands this as he grew up in a very
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 9: loving and.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: Supportive two-parent household. His parents are still very much in
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: love today.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 9: By the way, this comes from Important Talk 8808, and
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 9: if you want to spend your own stories, go to
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 9: the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 12: I'm Riley.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give some good advice, but we
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: don't have all your answers. We're only going to tell
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: you what we would do, but let us know what
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: you would do down in the comments.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 9: As Opie says, I feel like we have the same
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 9: combo fairly often.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: Me.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, when are you going to ask?
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: Him.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: When I speak with your father?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: Me.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: I don't even speak to.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 9: My father, and he hasn't had a hand in raising
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 9: me outside of financial obligations since late middle school. He
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 9: literally moved out of our family home to get away
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 9: from us. I don't feel comfortable with that.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 5: Him.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Well, I've got to do it the right way. I'm
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: still going to propose regardless, so it doesn't even matter
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: what his answer is. Why does it matter if you
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: ask him? Yeah, then don't ask him.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 9: Me so why even do it then we go around
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 9: and round in circles like that my final stance is
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 9: this if after everything i've told you you still feel
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 9: the need to ask him and do it the right
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 9: way then you might as well just not propose see
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 9: it's just listen when when she's talking just listen yeah
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 9: just you know don't hear what she's saying don't yeah
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 9: don't listen to respond just listen it's true Is this
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 9: an unreasonable decision? I almost feel like he's not convinced
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 9: that he's a bad person. I've already deemed my dad
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 9: undeserving of participating in this convo. Why can't he accept that?
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 9: There's an update.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't think regardless
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: of whether or not he thinks your dad is a
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: good or bad person, it doesn't matter because you don't
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: want that type of relationship with him.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 9: It's just that this is like a strong stance. It
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 9: is like a non-negotiable on OP's side. And he is
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 9: just completely disregarding it. Like, well, it's important to me.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: OK, well, that's not your problem. It's not your choice, actually.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 9: Yeah, it's your choice to propose to me. But I'm
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 9: telling you, I'm not even close with him. I don't
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 9: want it to come back to me. I don't want
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 9: anything to do with him. Why would you bring up
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 9: that trauma for me? Yeah, would he even be going
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 9: to the wedding?
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: Exactly. Yeah, probably not. And that would be a whole
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: big thing, probably. Because now he knows that there is
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: a wedding. You know? Yeah.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 9: It's just like, I don't talk to him for a reason.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 9: He's out of our lives for a reason. Why are
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 9: you forcing me to make amends with my dad? It
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 9: makes you feel like high and mighty. Like, oh, I
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 9: saved this family.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: Like, screw you. All right. Piss me off. Piss me off.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: Piss me off. There's an update. So I ended up
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: breaking up with him. Honestly, good.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 9: I want to start off by saying thank you to
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 9: anyone who replied to the last post. I'm someone who
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 9: can be blinded by the good in people, but your
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 9: comments put things into perspective for me. I did end
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 9: up showing him the post and his initial reaction was
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 9: that everyone commenting was a Single bitter witch.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So he wasn't changing his stance at all, which
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: is just so crappy to do.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, like your partner asked you for one thing. No,
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: one thing we say not to. One thing. Well, I
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: have to.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: For me, I just have to. For me, I want to.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: And I don't actually.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: The thing where I'm proposing to you to have to
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: be together with you and, you know, is really bad.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: literally just about our relationship together yeah I need to
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: involve this guy that you hate.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 9: Yeah I had never heard him speak about anyone that way.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 9: I guess the mask finally dropped. A couple of hours
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 9: after that, he ended up saying, fine, I won't ask
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 9: your dad, just your mom. This was definitely just an
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 9: attempt to save things since he could tell I was
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 9: being distant with him.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: We dated for about another two months after that. I know,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: I know. I'd be the same way. I was trying
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: to find ways to mend things because I'm a dummy. No,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: because you have a heart. Yeah. And you were about
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: to marry this guy. Savannah, that was sweet. Well, I'm
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: just saying you do.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 9: Like you don't have to feel bad about yourself. You
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 9: just want this guy to listen to you and he's not.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: And then it's like, oh, now I have to be
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: the bad guy for not wanting you to like, I
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: don't know, ruin my life.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 9: After the initial convo, I went through a fast track
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 9: of realizations and saw that we were so misaligned in
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 9: so many different ways. I'm not even sure how he
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 9: had made it as far as we did. Eventually, it
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 9: got to a point where I think he was just
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 9: doing things to get me to break up with him
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 9: since things clearly weren't working out. Some of those things
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 9: include taking a trip and staying with a friend that
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 9: regularly cheats on her boyfriend.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: Saying, I didn't sign up for.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 9: A therapy session every time I would try to talk
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 9: through things.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: I hate that. Oh my goodness.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 9: Letting his phone battery drain every time he went out.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 9: Being overly cautious with his phone when we were previously
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 9: pretty lax about opening each other's phones. Not in a
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 9: snooping way, mainly for finding documents, responding to a text
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 9: or email for one another, etc.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 4: He's cheating.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 9: So he obviously, like, it's... It's like the ego boost
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 9: of just like, yeah, I'm going to do everything that
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 9: you don't want me to do because I'm in charge
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 9: here type of thing. And then when you stand up
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 9: for yourself and they're like, oh, look at you being
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 9: all high and mighty. Well, I'm going to show you
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 9: by making you feel like crap and doing everything that
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 9: you didn't want me to do.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: So stupid when you're trying, like when this whole thing
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: is about expressing love. It's all backwards.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 9: Now it's like transactional and weirdly competitive. Like it's like, dude,
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 9: I just didn't want you to ask my dad.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: That's all. That's it. That was literally the only issue here.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: And then you had to spiral and make it 20
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: other issues. So yeah, I'm good here. See ya.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 9: Unfortunately, the list goes on, but I'd rather not relive
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 9: all of that. Clearly he got what he wanted and
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 9: deserved though.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: He did the standard. Oh no, please. We can work
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: this out.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 9: Song and dance for a couple of weeks after I
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 9: broke up with him. before finally giving up. I'm clearly
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 9: not great at picking them, but I'm glad that I
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 9: was able to get out of there before two years
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 9: became ten years.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, and that's it.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 9: Truthfully, you have to find, like, the blessing in disguise
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 9: because you never know until you actually.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: Take the leap of faith. And sometimes it doesn't work out.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: Other times it does.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: And this time it didn't work out. And you only lost, what,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: two years?
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 8: You only lost two years of your life.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, you know, harm no foul. Yeah. All good.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 9: It's just it's unfortunate. But the thing is, you live
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 9: and you learn and you were meant to go through
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 9: that experience. And so now you come out stronger.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 1: And yeah, now, you know, like, hey, these are things
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: that I are important to me in the next relationship. Exactly.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: And you look for those signs and you don't repeat
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: the pattern. You live and you learn.
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 11: go to the next one.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I bought a house together in his name.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: Then he cheated.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 5: Oh, God.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: This is the worst thing that could possibly happen. I,
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: female 27 and male 29, have been together for eight years.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: Have been with my boyfriend. You just said that. For
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: eight years. We're not married and we love each other
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: very much. Well, usually when you say boyfriend, it implies
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: that you're not married. Marriage is on the table in
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: the future, including children. However, he has saved up a
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: large deposit to buy a house and wants me to
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: move in with him. He only wants to buy the
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: house under his name only. He will be putting the deposit, $ 70, 000,
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: towards the house and I will just move in and
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: help with bills. The houses we are looking for are
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: a little further away from our family and friends. I'm
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: not sure how I feel about this, as we have
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: been together for eight years and feel it makes sense
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: to buy together, regardless of him having the full deposit.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: If we love each other very much, he shouldn't be
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: thinking of doing it on his own. By the way,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: this comes from SuspiciousOne1695. And if you want to submit
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash okay story
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 8: I'm Keon.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: And Opie says, help me solve the situation as I
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: need to know if I'm doing the right thing moving
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 1: in with him under the house he buys under his name,
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: even though he's claiming that it would be our house.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: And we've been together for eight years.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 5: We know.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 6: That's the fourth time now. Do we have any guesses
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 6: how many times she's going to say that?
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: Eight years.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 4: Eight times?
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: Eight times. One for each year. Opie, my immediate advice,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: don't do that. What's your immediate advice, Savannah? I'm going
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 1: to have to go with don't do that as well.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: Don't do that. Keon?
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 3: Eight years.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: Comments.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 5: Butt flea.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 11: No, say it.
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 8: Say it.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: I can't. You can say ass flea.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 8: Ass flea.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 5: Ass flea.
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: Ass flea. You shouldn't buy a house with someone you
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 1: aren't married to. So he's doing the right thing by
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: securing the mortgage alone. But why aren't you engaged after
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: eight years together? What's your timeline for that? Once you're married.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: is he planning to add you to the deed opie
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: says we're both in uni up until three to four
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: years ago and both our careers are starting to take
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: off he wants to get married after he has secured
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: a place for us to live but with the way
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: it's expensive to buy a house alone I have suggested
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: we go in it together as one to expand our chances.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: But he's very adamant. He buys the house on his
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: own since he's been saving up for this long. And
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: it's been his dream to own his own house. I'm
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: not sure how to think of it. And we do
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 1: have an update two freaking years later. Oh, wow.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 8: Two freaking years later. So that's now 10 years.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 8: Or still eight years.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: What is 10 years?
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 9: What is 10 years for $ 300, 000?
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is concerning. This is real concerning. I don't
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: like it. Two years later. Hello, guys. It's been two
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 1: years since my last Reddit post regarding my situation with
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: my partner. I just thought I would fast forward two years.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: Since the post, we've bought a house together with both
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: our names on the mortgage.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 1: And I contributed partly to the deposit. We have since
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: done renovations to the house, which cost us a lot
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: of money, nearly 150K pounds. And the house was close
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: to finishing with renovations. Also to add, he has managed
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: to get me into debt to help fund for the
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: renovation process. Oh, yikes. Only reason I agreed was because
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: we were doing this for us and our future. During
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: this time, I brought up the topic of marriage several times,
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: but his excuse was that he was waiting to propose
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 1: once we move into our new home. I brushed this
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: off and gave him the benefit of the doubt. However,
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: three months ago, I found out he was having an
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 1: affair with his work colleague, and this has been going
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: on for six months now. He's stupid. Six months. Like, genuinely,
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: it's awful that he cheated on a relationship of 10 years,
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: but also just a really dumb to do that after
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: you bought a house with someone.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 1: What an idiot. What do you think's gonna happen, man? Dummy. Big,
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 1: ugly dummy.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: I was completely devastated considering all we had gone through
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 1: together and we had reached 10 years together. The worst
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: part of it all is he said he wanted to
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: keep us both. Whoa. He said he wanted to keep
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: us both because he loves both of us and wanted
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: to move this girl into the house. I put a
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: majority of thought into making it a home.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: Wait.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: He wants to bring his affair partner into your home
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 1: that you paid half of? So he should have asked
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: for an open relationship.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 9: Yeah. but knew that you would say no so just
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 9: cheated on you and then thought when you found out
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 9: he could just like explain it then and have her
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 9: move in and everything would be fine and dandy and you.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 6: Thought apparently so and he thought yeah everyone's gonna agree to.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: This everyone's gonna love this right.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 8: I love them so much they're gonna love they're gonna love.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: Each other it's like when you introduce your friends to
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: your other friends it's like he goes into the room
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: he goes she's gonna love this room I do love
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: this room. No, no.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: Yes. Yes.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: You. He also said that if I hadn't found out,
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: he would have continued the affair until we moved to
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: the new house.
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, good.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: So, no, babe, you don't understand. If you hadn't found out,
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: I would have kept going.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 8: What a good guy. What a good guy.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: What a dummy. After I found out and heard this nonsense,
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: I left.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 7: Nice.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: Broke off the relationship. Nice. And asked that we sell
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: the house. I would like to express that I wish
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: I listened to all your comments regarding leaving him and
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 1: realizing that he was never going to commit. It's just
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: crazy how someone you thought you knew can just switch easily.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: I am glad I managed to walk away from this
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: without children or marriage and ultimately going through divorce. Yeah,
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 1: at least you don't have that. You just have to
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: figure out how to split this house. Yeah, truthfully. It's
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: been a roller coaster, but I'm now happier than ever,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: although we're still going through the selling process. Might I
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: also add, he is coming out of this house process
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: with no money, as he's paying me every single penny
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: of debt he put me through.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: Good.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: Plus profit proceeds to me, and also paying off his
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: mom the money he borrowed from her. Sounds like this
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: guy was.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 5: A real winner.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 8: This guy's a real catch.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 8: This guy sucks.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: I was not coming out of this destroyed. And comments.
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: Active C says, some people really do show you exactly
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: who they are. and you just don't want to see it.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: Glad you got out before the mortgage and the kids
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: made it a thousand times messier. The I wanted both
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: of you bit is actually unhinged.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: Like, so this is not a timeshare. I am your girlfriend.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: Opie says, yup. In his own words, what could I
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: love two people at once? Well, you can if everyone's aware.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: If everyone's aware of the terms here. Yeah, but they weren't.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: It was the craziest thing I've heard in a while.
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: He is now losing a lot of money from the
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: whole process due to the debts he put me in
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: when I thought we were doing this for us. We've
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: got a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts? Uh,
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, glad he got out of there. Me too.
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 9: Ten years too late. But, you know, sometimes it takes
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 9: some time. And I don't know if he was, like,
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 9: cheating before. I mean, yeah, he was at least cheating
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 9: for six months. He was definitely cheating for six months.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 6: I mean, the commenters said the positives. At least, like,
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 6: I mean, yes, this is a terrible thing. Ten years
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 6: too long with this guy, but no kids, not married.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 8: Let's just look at the positives.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: Based on how he reacted, though, of just being like, yeah,
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: I would have stayed with her if you didn't know.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: I feel like he probably cheated on her multiple times.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: 100%.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: But we got another comment who says, when you say
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: he is paying me, I think you need to be
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: sure to get that in some kind of writing that'll
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: hold up in court. Because it sure sounds at the
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: moment like you have his words, but that ain't worth
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: much until you have cash in hand. You might consider
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: speaking to an attorney. And Opie says this is the
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 1: next step in the process. It's only been three months
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 1: since this happened, so only now has the logistics started
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: rolling in and getting the house on the market. Clean
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: cardiologist says, glad that you got your name on the
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: house since you put so much into it. If his
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: colleague knew that he was in a relationship, she's trash.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: He is definitely trash. They deserve each other. Good on
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 1: you for walking away. OP says she did know. She
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: knew and she had the audacity to beg me not
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 1: to break up with him because he's a highly respected
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: man at work. And he loves me very much. And
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: he wants to marry you and move in with you
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: to the new house.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 5: They're both to Lulu.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: They're in to Lulu.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 8: And he's going to.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: Move in with you. And I'm also going to move
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: in with you.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 8: And I'll love you too.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: And I'll love you. I'm good. We'll kind of be
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: a love triangle. I just won't be part of it.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 9: And you guys can have each other. You need me
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 9: there for some weird odd thing.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: How about you guys do your own thing? And I'll
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: head out.
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: Ew.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 11: go to the next one.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 9: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 9: we're going to get.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: Back to the stories, but here's a three-minute ad break
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: from our sponsors. My fiance said she doesn't need me
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: in front of our family.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 4: Well, I don't need you either.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 9: My girlfriend, 30 female, and I, 31 male, have been
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 9: together for six years. I've been planning to propose soon,
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 9: but I've been struggling with issues I've brought up since
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 9: day one of our relationship that haven't changed.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm going to have to say. This is
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: on you now. Yeah.
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 5: The main issue.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 9: I feel like I'm constantly chasing her for attention and affection,
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 9: especially in social settings. When we're in groups with her
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 9: family or friends, she won't come to me. I always
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 9: have to go to her. She won't initiate conversation with
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 9: me unless I speak first. And even then, she just
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 9: gives short answers without asking me anything back. When I
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 9: suggest things, she'll say no. But when someone else suggests
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 9: the exact same thing.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: She'll do it.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 8: I think she doesn't like you.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah!
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 9: What makes this harder is that she's bubbly and engaging
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 9: with other people, but cold towards me. It's like she
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 9: saves all her warmth for everyone else. I feel she
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 9: always prioritizes her convenience instead of our relationship. For example,
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 9: of what I mean, one... We usually meet closer to
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 9: her place, two hours commute for me.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 3: What?
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 8: Buddy, I don't think she likes you.
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 9: Even for my birthday celebration, we plan each other's birthday.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 9: She still wanted me to travel to her area rather
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 9: than meeting somewhere more convenient for me.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not okay. When it gets to, especially when
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: you live far away from each other, you have to
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: make an effort on both sides and there's just not
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: a lot of effort on her side.
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: Bummer. Yeah.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 9: By the way, this comes from PlayfulMagician831, and if you
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 9: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 9: slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 8: I'm Keon.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 9: And we're here to talk about some stuff, give some advice,
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 9: but we don't have all your answers. We're only going
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 9: to tell you what we would do, but let us
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 9: know what you would do down in the comments. As
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 9: OP says, at social gatherings with her family, she'll leave
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 9: me alone without saying anything. Even though I don't know
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 9: her family well and was expecting her to include me
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 9: or at least stay with me, Or.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: Just check in from time to time if I'm alright.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 9: When our relationship was struggling and we were about to
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 9: break up, I suggested couples therapy, which I offered to
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 9: pay for. Her first concern was that the location was
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 9: inconvenient for her.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: You know you can do it online. You could do
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: it online, yes. I've raised these issues repeatedly over six years.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: But nothing has changed.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 9: Like, that's when I say, okay, you're doing it to
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 9: yourself then. You're not trying to get out of it.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 9: You're not trying to, you know, you're just... being complicit
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 9: in what's.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah if it's been happening for six years it really
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: does feel like op is also in this comfortable space
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: and it's like well i tried to confront it but
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 1: it was scary so i didn't yeah yeah it's like
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: at a certain point yes.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 8: I just love her so much yeah.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: After six years it might be a problem that you
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 1: can't fix.
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 9: Yeah recently i sent her a message saying that after
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 9: six years together, I don't want to feel like I'm
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 9: still chasing her or courting her and that I'm not
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 9: going to pursue her all the time anymore.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 8: It's crazy that it took you six years to.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: Figure that one out. It did take him a minute.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: Her response was just, she just sends the shaking face
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 1: emoji where.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 3: It's like, huh?
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 9: And then silence. It's been over a day and she
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 9: hasn't messaged me. Historically, I've always been the one to
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 9: reach out first and apologize even when I'm the one
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 9: who's hurt.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: Surprise, surprise! Surprise, surprise!
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 9: I decided not to respond to the Because I felt
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 9: like that would just be chasing her again.
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 1: OP, don't go chasing waterfalls. But now, I'm second guessing myself.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: Was I too confrontational? Aw, OP did his first confrontation
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: in six years and he's like, was that too much?
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, was that too much?
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 8: I think she's upset at me.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 9: She's never been in a relationship before, so maybe she
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 9: doesn't understand what she's doing?
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: Am I the animal? She can figure it out with
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 1: someone else.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 8: And they'll put her in her place.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll be like, hey, you're in your second relationship
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: now and you're not doing a very good job. Yeah.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 8: Opie, how has no one shaken you?
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: I'm sure people have tried.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 8: Do you hear yourself?
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 9: The thing is, like, you can shake someone as much
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 9: as you want, but until they finally realize it, like,
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 9: they're not going anywhere.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 8: You can't bring a horse to water and force them
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 8: to drink.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah. I mean, I was the same way.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 9: I should have, like, left my ex probably, like, a
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 9: year into it, but I stayed for three and a
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 9: half years.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: And it's like, I needed to know when I was done.
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: An OP is not going to know until he knows.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: Not when someone tells him.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 5: Whatever.
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys for all of the advice.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 9: I'm now starting to see how dumb I am for
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 9: not considering to end this sooner. I will not message
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 9: her and will give an update if she ever reaches out. Also,
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 9: an info I wanted to add. I lost my father
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 9: two years ago and I've been struggling with depression. I
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 9: guess part of the reason I put up with this
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 9: is that I really didn't want to lose another important
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 9: person in my life.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: That makes sense. Okay. So this is more like a grieving. Yeah. Again,
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 1: it goes back to the familiar, comfortable. Like she's there
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: for us. She knows. Yeah. No one else is going
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: to understand. You know, we went through this together. Better
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: the devil you know.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 4: Ah.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 9: This is mostly in social settings, but it's fine when
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 9: it's only the two of us. We were happy the
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 9: past years, though yes, she indeed has selfish tendencies sometimes,
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 9: and I'm at my limit about this issue, I guess.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 9: Let me clarify the dynamics with her family. The main
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 9: thing is that I'm still sort of the outsider, and
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 9: she's much closer to them compared to me because I
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 9: only see them a couple times a year. I actually
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 9: sometimes feel much more comfortable conversing with her family- than
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 9: her because they would ask me questions to extend the conversation.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 9: I actually got super close with her two male cousins
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 9: instantly because I found out we share some hobbies in
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 9: gaming and anime. But even with this, is it not
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 9: fair for me to expect her to come to me
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 9: from time to time and not me chasing her around
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 9: all day? Or is it too much overthinking and there's
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 9: an update?
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: Of course it's fair. You can't just expect one person
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: to put all the work in the relationship. Yeah. Especially
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: with driving, because driving two hours to go visit your
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: partner all the time and they never do it for you.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: It's just like, again, it goes back to the resentment. Yeah,
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: I would immediately like that's a red flag for me.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 9: In the past, like if I hadn't dated my ex
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 9: and like, you know, didn't know any better, I would
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 9: have done that.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: I would have been like, no, I'm just like I'm
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: just the more caring one.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 9: But like now I'm like, okay, yeah, no, if you're
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 9: not going to do that for me, I'm not doing
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 9: it for you.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: What?
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 9: Like this, this is not that it has to be transactional,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 9: but I mean, that's not fair for me to have
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 9: to do it every single time.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: And for you to just sit there and be like,
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: When are you coming?
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: Come on, come over. We're waiting for you. Like, you're late.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: Like, no.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 5: Nuh-uh.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: Nuh-uh. There's an update. I couldn't help myself.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 2: No, you didn't. No.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 8: You didn't do it, did you?
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 8: After everyone told you.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 1: We told you.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 9: After she ignored my vulnerable message for two days, I
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 9: reached out again last night with messages explaining how hurt
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 9: I was by her dismissiveness and asked if she wanted
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 9: to meet up.
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 8: Ugh, OP, you could've... Ugh, you should've stayed strong, man.
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 9: I also told her I think we have an anxious
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 9: avoidant attachment dynamic and sent her videos and detailed explanations
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 9: about it, hoping she'd finally understand where I'm coming from
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 9: and maybe even give us a starting point on how
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 9: we can fix the relationship.
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, me.
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 5: You had it in the bag.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, me. I understand.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 9: I would like, I mean, I would talk, I would
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 9: try to talk to my ex about these things and
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 9: he would shut it down immediately.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 1: But like, it's like, but this could help. Like, you
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: don't want to do stuff that'll help. He's like, no.
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 8: She's probably, she's probably sent back another question mark.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 5: It's like, that's not going to help.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 1: She just sent a question mark.
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 8: She went, brother, she, she thumbs down the message.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 8: She just sends cup pong.
• 1:23:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she sends, like, what's the- Battleships, Connect Four. She
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: sends back battles.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 2: Cool.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: She sends Connect Four.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 8: Oh, V, she didn't respond to you for two days.
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's probably broken up with you in her mind.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 8: She's been broken up with you. You're her little pet.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 9: Well, actually, her response, she completely ignored everything I said
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 9: and just told me, I'm going to the insert mall
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 9: we usually meet at. Anyway, you can come if you want.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's when I just texted.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 8: And you went, okay.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mentioned things. I went and we met
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 1: up with her friends.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker 8: We met with her friends and she made me buy
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 8: everything for her.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: And I carried all their bags. Yeah, and I drove
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 1: all the way out there and I told her this
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: wasn't working and she said, hey, can you grab me
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: some Wetzels? And I did.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 8: And don't get yourself anything because you've been a bad boy.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 8: You talked bad to me.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 9: So even after pouring my heart out about feeling dismissed
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 9: and invisible, she dismissed me and made me feel invisible again.
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 5: It really hurts.
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 1: Final update. What?
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 5: No, no.
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 1: I'm just going right into it.
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 5: No discussion.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 8: Get in here. You know what? At this point, Opie,
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 8: you're the a-hole.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: Final update, we're engaged. Shut up. Shut up right now.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: Girl that never freaking tried to make any effort in
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: your relationship, you proposed to her? This is on you.
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've been saying it the whole time, but
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: this is an issue. I know 99% of you told
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: me to break up with her.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 1: Nailed it. Nailed it.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 8: And you said, never tell me the odds.
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 4: I need it.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 8: Never tell me the odds.
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: Never let them know.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 8: I like those odds. Those are fighting numbers.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 1: Those are fighting numbers. I'm going to propose to her
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: and she's going to say yes.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 8: I didn't get 100%. There was 1% that said stay
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 8: with it.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: She told me that we could have the wedding 10
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: minutes from her house.
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 5: No further.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 9: Honestly, I don't blame you based on what I shared.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 9: Some of you will probably be disappointed reading this, but
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 9: just hear me out.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 8: No, I'm not hearing you out.
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 5: I kind of want to hear him out.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 8: Finish it.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: All right, hear him out.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 8: It ends there.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 9: During the meetup after the small update, we had the
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 9: most honest conversation we've ever had in six years. She
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 9: was open and acknowledged that she might have a dismissive
• 1:25:54
  Speaker 9: avoidant attachment style.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't say. Stemming from past drama. It's too late.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 3: Genuinely?
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: It took six years. Too late.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 9: I was actually the one who brought it up and
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 9: shared resources about it, and it just clicked for her.
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 9: Something she'd never really considered before, but it made a
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 9: lot of sense. We're committing to couples therapy together, and
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 9: she's also open to individual therapy for herself.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: Are you going to pay for all of that?
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 8: Yeah, of course you.
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 1: Yes. And yes, I proposed, and she said yes.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 9: Because even through all this, I realized I can't imagine
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 9: living my life with anyone else.
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 8: You moron.
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 9: Even in moments like these, I'd still choose her and
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 9: that I really love her so much.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: All right, if you say so. I'm going in with
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 1: clear eyes though. No, you're not. Your eyes are clouded.
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 1: I'll keep communicating my.
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 9: Needs and I'm hopeful that with the work we're both
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 9: putting in, we can finally break the cycle we.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: Were stuck in.
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 9: Thanks for the advice. Either way, it genuinely helped me
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 9: have that conversation. Am I the a-hole has no bot,
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 9: but most comments judged not the a-hole and advised OP
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 9: to break up with the girlfriend and told him that
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 9: she didn't care about him.
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, there's a final, final update. Hold on. I hope it's...
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: I hope it's... I decided that I'm not engaged anymore.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: So I broke off the engagement and... I decided that
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not getting married to her anymore and that's it.
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 1: Seven months later.
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 9: I stupidly ignored all of your advice and went on
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 9: with the proposal being hopeful of the self-awareness my girlfriend
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 9: showed during our heart-to-heart talk after.
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 1: Dummy. Dummy, dummy, dummy.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: I can't lead this horse. I am shocked to the core.
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 6: Remember when we had that 99% Of Reddit saying, break
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 6: off with her.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 1: And he went, no. I'm leading this horse to acid.
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 8: And I'm, guess what? I'm the one in the acid.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm the acid.
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 9: I realize now that this was a mistake. It's really
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 9: not a good idea to love someone's potential instead of.
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 1: Who they are currently. Shocker.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 3: You don't say.
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 9: What happened after is that she never made any concrete
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 9: steps about the therapy she promised and just went back
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 9: into her avoidant tendencies.
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 1: Shocker! Even with all that.
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 9: I was still willing to push through with it, actually,
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 9: that I admit was stupid on my part.
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, the last straw. Let's see what it finally was.
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 1: Any guesses? Just that his partner didn't go somewhere. Girlfriend,
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 1: you know, didn't show up to a date. I don't know.
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: I guess. I feel like it's going to be the
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: dumbest reason beyond measure.
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 8: She farted once and I went, ew.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: He was like, that's it. I'm done.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 7: I got the ick.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: I'm out of here. It's going to be something.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 3: Stupid.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 9: The last straw for me happened just last Sunday when
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 9: we were on a pre-wedding tradition in our country where
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 9: the families of the couples would meet up and bond
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 9: and where the couples would proclaim their love for one another.
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 9: She said in this event that she doesn't need a
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 9: man to be complete and I'm just a nice bonus
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 9: for her. Also that she's the type of person not
• 1:29:00
  Speaker 9: to feel butterflies in her stomach or excitement in the relationship,
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 9: but she appreciates my consistency.
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: That's so funny. Guys, reminder, this is her first relationship.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 1: She just told you that she does not love you,
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: but she just doesn't realize it.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 8: She just appreciates it.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not the type of person who feels any sort
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 1: of attraction to their partner, you know? I don't feel
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: any of that love that other people are talking about.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 1: Maybe because you're with the wrong person, girly.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 9: No, it's literally like, like the whole point of that
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 9: was to like, kind of give like your vows, like
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 9: pre-vows is what in my, in my head is what
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 9: I'm thinking.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 6: She's like, the only person I could love is someone
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 6: exactly like me.
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: And you know what?
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 8: There's no one exactly like me.
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 5: Only me.
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 8: I can only love me.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 1: She literally was like, He's like, I love you. I'll
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: go to the ends of the earth with you. You
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: are my sun, my stars, my moon, whatever, blah, blah.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 9: And she goes, I don't need you. I'm glad that
• 1:29:55
  Speaker 9: you are still trying. And I don't have any sort
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 9: of feelings for you. But I also don't feel anything
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 9: towards you.
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, crazy.
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 8: You sound like a simp.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: And he was like, oh. In front of the whole family.
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 5: Jesus.
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 2: Jesus.
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 1: Woohoo! Worst part is, she never said she loves me
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 1: in this event. Not even once. She doesn't. She does
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: not love you. She doesn't. I don't think she ever did, truthfully.
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 9: I understand that being independent is good, but it's not
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 9: the right time and place for this. When it's supposedly
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 9: the day we should show our love for one another
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 9: in front of our families. I felt really unwanted during
• 1:30:31
  Speaker 9: that moment, and I felt invalidated again for all my
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 9: efforts and sacrifices. I talked with her earlier today about
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 9: the hurts and she invalidated me again. That's when I
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 9: decided to stand my ground and choose myself this time.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 9: At the end, she handed me back the ring and
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 9: we broke up. Stupid to not end this sooner, but
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 9: I have found respect for myself after neglecting my needs
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 9: for far too long.
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 1: Heck yeah, brother. In the end, I think I was
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: indeed the a-hole to the both of us for dragging
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 1: this for far too long. She also has a part
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: in that. You can't just blame yourself. No, I mean, yeah, OP,
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: you are a self a-hole.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: But she strung you along.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: She definitely didn't help the situation. However. She could have
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 1: also broke it off. I will say, yes, like, she
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: sucks and is the a-hole as well. However, it makes
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: so much sense that this is her first relationship because
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 1: she clearly has, like, no idea what she's supposed to feel.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, girl, stop.
• 1:31:26
  Speaker 9: And she obviously doesn't, she's not feeling the right things,
• 1:31:29
  Speaker 9: but she doesn't know.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't know. She's just like, oh, no, you're
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 1: not supposed to. I'm just not the type of person.
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: There are people out there who just don't feel anything
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: for their partners, right? Yeah, like what?
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 8: That's what love is, right?
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, love.
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: No, it really is because you go through life and
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: there isn't a way to define love or how to
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: love someone. And everyone's always like, well, you'll just know
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 1: when you get there. It's a combination of a bunch
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 1: of stuff.
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 5: But yeah, it is.
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 1: You really do just know it when you get there. Yeah,
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: you do. But you have to go through a couple
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: situations to be like, wait, is it this?
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:31:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's this one. If I stuck with
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: my first ever relationship, I probably would not be here.
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 1: Looking back at my first ever relationship, I was like, oh,
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 1: I thought I loved him for a second there. I
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, maybe I do. And I was like, no.
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:32:13
  Speaker 1: Looking back, I was like, no, I did not. Not
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 1: a great time. So she'll figure that out. And OP,
• 1:32:18
  Speaker 1: you're figuring it out now.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 1: That you should not be in a relationship here. Shouldn't
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 1: be this hard. Thank you for all the advice. I
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: hope we both heal from this in the future.
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 1: That's the end.
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 8: I don't know, man. When 99% tells you do it,
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 8: you should probably do it.
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 2: Do it.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 11: And that's the end of this story.