Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Learn to Lose With Grace: The Secret to Winning | Ep. 126
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset. I am Sean Tucker, human performance scientist and authority architect. We are here in the Living Lab documenting the science, the struggle, and the shift for every high performance dad and founder who's ready to bridge the gap between their presence and their ambition. Why do we only talk about the wins? When you talk about failure and your relationship to failure, oftentimes it gets better. Our relationship to failure actually dictates how we succeed. And let me explain that, what I mean by that. You're gonna lose. You're gonna fail. I am probably one of the biggest fails failures there is. And I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean the the part that keeps us stuck is the fact that It carries weight. And it shouldn't carry weight. Because there's this idea between what is a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. If you haven't read the book Mindset by Carol Duack, I would highly recommend at least getting the synopsis of the book. Or at least getting a little bit of an insight into what the book's all about because There's a number of studies that have been done on different areas of especially children in developmental stages and what allows them to grow and what allows them to kinda stay stuck in their in their ways and in their thinking. And when it comes to the growth mindset, is understanding that failure and losing is part of the journey. When you are in a fixed mindset, there are traits of perfectionism, there are traits of procrastination, there are all these traits that keep people stuck. Because what happens in a fixed mindset is you might be a high achiever and it might cost you a lot to stay at the top. But as soon as you start losing, It's like you become a sore loser, which is not good for anyone. And it's actually really hard and detrimental to that person's well being and overall mindset because I've been there. I've been there. I was someone who really struggled with this. I remember coming back, I think I've told this story once before on the podcast. Coming back from Singapore after being married, this is seven years ago. After having built my business for probably one and a half years or so, my in person personal training business I got it up to pretty much operating at a six figure level. I was going overseas to get married, and I had to take a month off work, or I got to take a month off work, so that I can go marry the girl of my dreams. And I knew when I came back, it was gonna be hard yards to get the momentum moving again. And I blamed I blamed my wife for making me take it a month off work. Like That was the level of mindset that I had, that was the level of neuroses that I had. And that fixed mindset was keeping me stuck. Had I have used a growth mindset, had I've accepted the fact that, wow, if I want to run a business that is not determined and dependent on me, well, I need to make sure that I have systems in place where I can take holidays. Cause if you want to work a business 247, go ahead and be my guest. But I'm actually loving the revolution that AI is coming in to bring because These agents, they they can work twenty four seven. Right? They're not reliant on human battery. They are reliant on obviously energy in a different form. But point being is they don't have a they don't need to have a swit an off switch. You can just reset them and reboot them and it will come back as good as new. So are you in a fixed mindset or are you in a growth mindset? You might think that you're in a growth mindset, but look, are you victimizing yourself? Are you blaming others for your situation? If that's true, it probably means you need to do a little bit of work. Maybe it's just simple reflection work. Maybe it's just work of stillness, just sitting there and being with it. Because one I look back at that moment where I was blaming my circumstances and blaming my situation and blaming the people that I love for a situation that I get to go overseas and get married to the girl of my dreams in a beautiful place. Like that's a dream. But it wasn't for me at the time. And it's because I had a very fixed mindset. So this is something you can develop. But you have to be really self aware and really work on yourself to the point where you get better at losing because being a sole loser is not fun for the people around you and it's most certainly not fun for the person who is the sore loser. Don't get addicted to winning because you hate losing. Maybe learn to lose with grace and you'll get better at winning too. And you'll actually be fun and loving and loved around. That's my invitation at least. So this is a really short and sharp episode, but I just wanted to deliver as much value as I could in as little as time as possible. So it brings us to the end of this episode of the reset. If you are ready to stop being a passenger in your own life and start being the architect of your legacy, make sure you comment the word reset and I will send you the seven day integrity reset absolutely free of charge. Remember, most people wait for their life to change. We are the ones who architect a choice. Change your state, choose how you show up. I am Sean Tucker and I'll see you in the next one.