Latest / Almost Famous Enough / ep30 Begonia unravels the fantasy

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ep30 Begonia unravels the fantasy · Almost Famous Enough

• 0:23
  As a general rule, I am pro say whatever you want, air quotes as an artist.
• 0:31
  As a rule, I might also be anti-air quotes.
• 0:36
  Talk about your life as a singer in your songs.
• 0:39
  It just never seems to come off too well, you know, as a general rule, or maybe because it can generally be perceived as complaining.
• 0:48
  It's either bragging or bawling about it.
• 0:51
  We are still spinning the fantasy of life as a pop star, rockstar, life of excess and ease.
• 0:57
  I'm talking about the collective we, the media, the public, the influencers behind the machine of pop and rock who have clung to the vision of Elvis, to Madonna, to Bieber, to Swift as the epitome of this kind of success.
• 1:15
  But what happens when you are on these tracks?
• 1:18
  And you question what success actually is.
• 1:21
  What if you question it in lyrical satire and wit within your songs, you run the risk of perception for sure.
• 1:29
  So you better have pushed past the point of caring about perceptions like Winnipeg, indie pop artist, Begonia.
• 1:37
  Who somehow spins these satirical questions into her newest album, Fantasy Life, keeping it light and satisfying while managing to evade the triggers that commonly make said subjects self-indulgent or shortsighted.
• 1:52
  And when you can walk through a mini minefield like that, as an artist, you've truly made art.
• 1:59
  Begonia recently released Fantasy Life, her third full length album, riding a career long wave of what many aspiring artists would consider success.
• 2:09
  The first two albums were both Juno and Polaris Music Prize, nominated The Golden Gooses, or Geese or Gooses of the Canadian Music Industry.
• 2:20
  Her trajectory has been steady and full of the common ingredients for greater success.
• 2:26
  Extensive touring and breaking into global markets, great collaborations, increased radio play, critical acclaim, et cetera, et cetera, and adoring fan base.
• 2:35
  What does she use the satire for, then to stay grounded in reality.
• 2:42
  There is the tongue planted firmly in the cheek of an album and a song titled Fantasy Life.
• 2:49
  My Fantasy Life, Delivered by an artist.
• 2:52
  Also willing to say, here I am, sitting on my couch in Winnipeg reading the YouTube comments like I don't give a fuck.
• 3:01
  And as a general rule, that's my kind of pop star.
• 3:06
  My name is Glen Erickson.
• 3:08
  This is Almost Famous Enough.
• 3:10
  Thanks for spending your time with us.
• 3:12
  This is Begonia.
• 3:26
  Glen Erickson: What Ken told you.
• 3:27
  Glen Erickson: I I know you have, you know, obviously podcasts are a new part of the, um, publicity cycle, I'm sure.
• 3:34
  Glen Erickson: but full transparency.
• 3:35
  Glen Erickson: So, you know, like I, I never started this thinking or planning that I was gonna be part of publicity cycles, even though I used Ken used to be my publicist way back when, and,
• 3:46
  Begonia: uh
• 3:47
  Glen Erickson: he's a dear man, isn't he?
• 3:48
  Glen Erickson: Like, he's
• 3:49
  Begonia: is a dear.
• 3:50
  Begonia: That's a, he's delightful.
• 3:52
  Glen Erickson: he is, he is like such a joy in this industry to just, to actually just to go to a show with him is maybe one of the best guys to take a show in with, I find.
• 4:02
  Begonia: I love that.
• 4:03
  Begonia: I'm not into baseball like he is, but probably to go to a baseball game is, is incredible with him too, I'm sure.
• 4:09
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 4:09
  Glen Erickson: He, uh, he, he told me how hard he took that loss, so, um,
• 4:15
  Begonia: Dang.
• 4:15
  Glen Erickson: it's funny.
• 4:16
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, so these are, I, I started the podcast, you know, with just a goal of like, I've, I've spent my whole career doing a thing and I'm like, how do I get that out?
• 4:26
  Glen Erickson: And I'm like, I want to get it out, talking to other people.
• 4:29
  Glen Erickson: And
• 4:29
  Begonia: Hmm.
• 4:30
  Glen Erickson: I love the way conversations kind of draw the, the best version of truths and things we'd want other people maybe to hear.
• 4:37
  Glen Erickson: And anyhow, so that's my premise, but I'm really happy to talk to you, like coming out of, obviously just having released a new album and doing all of the work for it.
• 4:47
  Glen Erickson: But to start us off, you're, you're in Winnipeg right now.
• 4:52
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 4:52
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 4:53
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 4:53
  Glen Erickson: Have you always been Winnipeg?
• 4:56
  Glen Erickson: Sometimes I hear you as like they say like a Manitoba artist, which to everybody can only, most people would only assume Winnipeg, but I don't wanna make that assumption.
• 5:06
  Begonia: There's lots of rural areas here,
• 5:09
  Glen Erickson: Well,
• 5:10
  Begonia: Winnipeg born and raised.
• 5:11
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 5:12
  Glen Erickson: Born and raised.
• 5:13
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 5:14
  Glen Erickson: Well I was gonna ask,'cause obviously your performing name is Begonia, all of that, but real name is Alexa Dirks, and I'm very familiar with Dirks being a Mennonite name.
• 5:30
  Glen Erickson: And you're in Manitoba and you talk about the towns.
• 5:32
  Glen Erickson: And I'm wondering, did your family, is it a steinback thing?
• 5:36
  Glen Erickson: Is it a, what is
• 5:37
  Begonia: You know what?
• 5:38
  Begonia: No, but I, but I know a lot of Steinbeck, Mennonites, I know a lot.
• 5:43
  Begonia: I
• 5:43
  Glen Erickson: freezes teas.
• 5:45
  Begonia: oh, you name it.
• 5:46
  Begonia: I know.
• 5:48
  Begonia: at least the names all.
• 5:49
  Begonia: Like, I probably know someone with that name, if not the person you're referencing.
• 5:54
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 5:55
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 5:56
  Glen Erickson: Okay, good.
• 5:56
  Glen Erickson: I, I've known some Dirks
• 5:58
  Begonia: Uhhuh?
• 5:59
  Glen Erickson: my life.
• 6:00
  Glen Erickson: They all came across from Manitoba to Alberta where I was, and I went to college with a whole bunch of people from Steinbeck and they were all, teasings and Friess and all that, like I said, so I always feel like if there's a little point of reference, I gotta crack that door open
• 6:16
  Begonia: Oh yeah.
• 6:17
  Begonia: Well, and that's the classic Mennonite game of it all.
• 6:20
  Begonia: When you meet someone, whenever I meet someone with like a Mennonite adjacent name, I'm like, Hmm, who do you know?
• 6:27
  Glen Erickson: yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 6:29
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 6:30
  Glen Erickson: Uh, So.
• 6:32
  Glen Erickson: There's things that obviously I want to talk to you about the record and what you're feeling about it and sort of where that's going.
• 6:38
  Glen Erickson: I also love to just go all the way back and talk through somebody's timeline with them a little bit to find out how they got to where they were and then see what comes out of it, if that's totally okay.
• 6:51
  Glen Erickson: Um, but starting where you're now,'cause you're at home in Winnipeg, you're not even a month into the album being released, but that always feels like a lot longer to you because you started releasing singles probably I think in July or June.
• 7:06
  Begonia: Yes.
• 7:06
  Begonia: And started working on it however long ago.
• 7:09
  Begonia: So
• 7:09
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 7:10
  Glen Erickson: It's been with you forever and then now the world like Me treats you like it's brand new and it's anything but for you.
• 7:19
  Glen Erickson: But I was gonna ask, the, the one thing I did notice right off the bat was, like the tour dates don't start until the new year.
• 7:26
  Glen Erickson: Which, you know, and I don't know if that's a, a product of just kind of the new world of touring and not this like before, right?
• 7:33
  Glen Erickson: Like you would
• 7:34
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 7:35
  Glen Erickson: start touring if not before even the album released, you'd be into the big long tour to be associated so closely and that kind of stuff maybe doesn't have the same impetus as it used to, but I, I'm just curious what, how that sort of like, came to be and fell out and, and
• 7:56
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 7:57
  Glen Erickson: way it worked out, or?
• 7:58
  Begonia: getting those opening dates with the bros Landri, are you familiar with the bros?
• 8:03
  Begonia: Like, yeah.
• 8:03
  Glen Erickson: well.
• 8:03
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 8:04
  Begonia: Come on.
• 8:04
  Begonia: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:05
  Begonia: You just never know.
• 8:06
  Begonia: Who knows?
• 8:06
  Begonia: Da da.
• 8:07
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 8:07
  Begonia: But getting those opening dates just felt like such a perfect.
• 8:11
  Begonia: Kind of kickoff to
• 8:12
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 8:13
  Begonia: and then getting some time at home too, and getting also some time for people to listen to the record and actually know the songs.
• 8:21
  Begonia: I feel like that's a novelty that I, I've done it so many different ways, and I've been in bands all my life, and I've done it in so many different ways where it's like you gotta get on tour immediately and you're already feeling kind of crushed in your brain from the output of just releasing an album.
• 8:38
  Begonia: And then you're out there just like vulnerable as ever, and people don't really know the music as much yet, or they know your old stuff or they don't.
• 8:48
  Begonia: So I feel like we're, we're just experimenting.
• 8:50
  Begonia: We're doing it in a different way.
• 8:52
  Begonia: And there will be a ton of North American dates and more like broad dates like coming up in the new year as well.
• 9:01
  Begonia: So we're just kind of taking this time to refine the show for me to be like present online with the record in a way that I.
• 9:09
  Begonia: Haven't really been before
• 9:11
  Glen Erickson: Well, this is what I'm talking about,
• 9:13
  Begonia: it.
• 9:13
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 9:14
  Glen Erickson: This is the new thing where.
• 9:18
  Glen Erickson: Your success is gonna come so much to what happens online.
• 9:22
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 9:22
  Glen Erickson: Like why, why wouldn't you?
• 9:24
  Glen Erickson: Like, why wouldn't you take the time to be present online rather than, uh, you know, going out and being a road warrior And And
• 9:31
  Begonia: And I love it all.
• 9:32
  Begonia: I mean, I still have such a romantic kind of idea when it comes to being a road warrior, like, regardless of the, the amount of time we've done it, but it's like, yeah, we, we did it, we've done it that specific way a couple times, and now we're just trying it a different way, and like seeing how it feels.
• 9:46
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, I love that.
• 9:47
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 9:48
  Glen Erickson: And you, the way you said earlier just kind of alluded to the early band experience, you know, like, you probably remember this like we all do.
• 9:58
  Glen Erickson: So freshly, like the early days when you would kill yourself just to make the album and then put on a CD release show, and that was like 95% of your output, and then someone told you like, you should probably be marketing the record, or, and you would just be flat after that.
• 10:14
  Glen Erickson: You'd be like, dead,
• 10:15
  Begonia: Totally.
• 10:16
  Glen Erickson: but you learn the tricks as you go and
• 10:18
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 10:19
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 10:19
  Glen Erickson: you you try out all the different iterations, so that's kind of fun.
• 10:24
  Glen Erickson: the Bros Landreth, like I was gonna ask, like that to me didn't immediately stylistically
• 10:29
  Begonia: No.
• 10:30
  Glen Erickson: like align.
• 10:31
  Glen Erickson: So I'm wondering how you, like, what are your thoughts that, because I'm sure they're incredible boys to, to hang out with and you, and you had, you sang with one or you had them on here so.
• 10:42
  Begonia: I mean, so we, they, okay, so those brothers, I've known them since I was like 16.
• 10:50
  Begonia: I started playing music with Joey.
• 10:53
  Begonia: Joey is who I kind of learned to harmonize with.
• 10:55
  Begonia: We were in our first bar bands together, like we have a lot of history.
• 11:00
  Glen Erickson: sweet.
• 11:00
  Begonia: So it's, there's all this kind of, and, and forever, like we both kind of then went our separate ways and started our own solo projects and just did different, we're in different bands, being side people for different people, and then now it feels like we're kind of coming back together.
• 11:15
  Begonia: And yeah, stylistically it's not necessarily the, the most like obvious fit, but I'm opening as a duo, so I'm opening on that tour with just myself and a piano.
• 11:28
  Begonia: So I feel like it'll be more kind of like focused on the song writing paired down, more focused on the voice.
• 11:36
  Begonia: And I feel like that does lend itself to what
• 11:39
  Glen Erickson: Oh, for sure.
• 11:40
  Begonia: they're so songwriting focused and they command such a quiet attention that I feel like that's.
• 11:47
  Begonia: Kind of how I'll be, hopefully like presenting what I'm doing as well.
• 11:51
  Begonia: So I feel like it will kind of fit and it's nice.
• 11:53
  Begonia: They live literally blocks away from me.
• 11:55
  Begonia: Like it,
• 11:56
  Glen Erickson: That's unbelievable.
• 11:57
  Begonia: see their kids.
• 11:58
  Begonia: I see.
• 11:59
  Begonia: Like I, we feel like we've developed such a bond that I can't believe this is the first time we've toured together, but I, I'm very excited to be kind of with them and also be introduced to their crowds.
• 12:10
  Begonia: Like they have loyal fans and they have quite the following, like overseas and I feel like I, I don't, so it's
• 12:17
  Glen Erickson: Well, I was gonna say, this is the UK who are renowned listening audiences, which is pretty amazing and I think probably far more receptive to a little variety and change.
• 12:31
  Glen Erickson: Yeah,
• 12:32
  Begonia: I hope so.
• 12:32
  Begonia: And I I look forward to attempting to win people over that wouldn't normally listen to my music.
• 12:41
  Glen Erickson: It's kind of fun, right?
• 12:42
  Glen Erickson: Like I was saying this to someone the other day, I miss the flirtatiousness of being on stage,
• 12:48
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 12:49
  Glen Erickson: and they didn't, they didn't understand me.
• 12:51
  Glen Erickson: They didn't understand what I meant at all.
• 12:53
  Glen Erickson: And I'm like, I'm flirting.
• 12:55
  Glen Erickson: I technically, I'm flirting all the time.
• 12:57
  Begonia: Totally.
• 12:58
  Begonia: Oh,
• 12:58
  Glen Erickson: I want your attention.
• 13:00
  Begonia: of energy and and I feel like for me, there's, there's, kind of a challenge to that, to go on a festival stage where, you know, maybe you're not the biggest name and maybe no one knows you.
• 13:11
  Begonia: And you I walk out and I'm like, okay,
• 13:16
  Glen Erickson: Here we go
• 13:17
  Begonia: on, I'm gonna work on you, and you and you and you.
• 13:21
  Glen Erickson: Do you do that?
• 13:22
  Glen Erickson: Do you pick people out in the audience that seem like they're a little engaged and you're like, I can lock on with this
• 13:27
  Begonia: some, sometimes, yeah,
• 13:28
  Glen Erickson: of fun.
• 13:29
  Begonia: Absolutely.
• 13:30
  Glen Erickson: I first saw you here in Edmonton at the first version of our Winter Rion
• 13:36
  Begonia: Nice.
• 13:36
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 13:37
  Glen Erickson: I was standing with, uh, one of the official photographers who was absolutely loving the whole presentation on show.
• 13:44
  Glen Erickson: And I was one of those people, and I'm sure you've encountered so many of them, right?
• 13:47
  Glen Erickson: Who didn't know who you were, saw you for the first time.
• 13:52
  Glen Erickson: And as I'm sure you've been told, a lot of times, you command the stage in a way that makes you stop paying attention to everything else in the room.
• 14:00
  Glen Erickson: It was a fantastic performance.
• 14:03
  Glen Erickson: and actually, oh, I almost forgot to do this.
• 14:05
  Glen Erickson: I've only done this once before in my podcast, Alexa, but, I actually own, I don't know if you can see, I actually own a Begonia shirt.
• 14:15
  Glen Erickson: I won a
• 14:16
  Begonia: og.
• 14:17
  Glen Erickson: I won a contest during COVID with breakout West.
• 14:21
  Begonia: Oh, no way.
• 14:22
  Glen Erickson: they said, Woody, you can take merch from any of our artists.
• 14:25
  Glen Erickson: And I went on like, I I want the Begonia shirt,
• 14:28
  Begonia: Oh, that's awesome.
• 14:29
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 14:30
  Begonia: That's awesome.
• 14:30
  Begonia: That's a classic.
• 14:31
  Begonia: I don't even have any of those in my
• 14:33
  Glen Erickson: is it, are those out of run out of print?
• 14:36
  Begonia: are outer run.
• 14:36
  Begonia: I got a lot of stuff in my basement, but not those
• 14:40
  Glen Erickson: oh, I believe it.
• 14:41
  Glen Erickson: My very first episode was with Dan Mangan and I've known Dan a long time
• 14:45
  Begonia: I love Dan.
• 14:46
  Glen Erickson: first conversation on my very first episode was how he had just got back from Victoria and was doing inventory in his basement to ruin all the glamorization of what it means to be an indie
• 14:57
  Begonia: hate it.
• 14:59
  Begonia: I hate it.
• 14:59
  Glen Erickson: is doing your own inventory.
• 15:01
  Begonia: I hate it so much.
• 15:03
  Glen Erickson: that's crazy.
• 15:04
  Glen Erickson: So let's, let's go back a bit.
• 15:06
  Glen Erickson: I wanna find out a little more about you and how you got.
• 15:10
  Glen Erickson: To where you are now and making, by the way, which is an incredible album.
• 15:15
  Glen Erickson: Um, I've been enjoying listening to some of the interviews I've already done and reading comments, and I almost never like to read comments, but yours seem so enjoyable to read.
• 15:26
  Glen Erickson: So, but going back, he said Winnipeg born and bred, kinda raised.
• 15:30
  Glen Erickson: obviously you've already alluded to how incredible I've always been envious of the Winnipeg music scene.
• 15:37
  Glen Erickson: I think it's been obviously shown a lot of fruits, but just a lot of merit in the fruits for the kind of artists that it's raised in the, in the kind of community.
• 15:47
  Glen Erickson: So I'm maybe just even before you started cutting your teeth in music, was this, I've, I'm finding this lately and I'd love to hear what it is for you.
• 15:59
  Glen Erickson: Sometimes the music thing is because my house was music.
• 16:03
  Glen Erickson: Everything was music.
• 16:04
  Glen Erickson: I had it in me.
• 16:05
  Glen Erickson: I was raised musically.
• 16:07
  Glen Erickson: There was never, barriers to entry where like that's a silly dream type.
• 16:11
  Glen Erickson: So there's this version of like, I'm raised in this and then there's a version of people who were like, this was my escape.
• 16:19
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 16:19
  Glen Erickson: So often I'm curious if you land in one of those or what was the thing that kinda led you down that path early on?
• 16:28
  Begonia: it was definitely an escape for me.
• 16:30
  Begonia: No one in my family is, pursuing music or particularly like pointedly musical.
• 16:37
  Begonia: Like my Dad?
• 16:39
  Begonia: would listen to a lot of music.
• 16:40
  Begonia: My mom would sing in church like sometimes, and like I grew up kind of with, uh, going to church and singing hymns and hearing my mom like on my mom's hip, hearing her sing the harmonies in my ears and stuff like that.
• 16:52
  Begonia: But no one was, musical.
• 16:54
  Begonia: Um, so I didn't really have an example.
• 16:58
  Begonia: Of how this would happen.
• 17:00
  Begonia: I, I didn't even know if it was a viable career option.
• 17:03
  Begonia: I would just see people on tv.
• 17:04
  Begonia: I watched a lot of television and I did not have screen time limits.
• 17:09
  Begonia: I had shows I was not allowed to watch because they were not from the Lord.
• 17:15
  Begonia: But I definitely consumed so much of just like watching other artists on like much music or like, I
• 17:25
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 17:26
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 17:26
  Begonia: opera Prodigy Charlotte Church from the UK who was
• 17:29
  Glen Erickson: Oh yeah.
• 17:30
  Begonia: and she, that we're around the same age.
• 17:33
  Begonia: And I remember I'm a little, maybe younger than her, I don't know, but I just remember watching her on TV and running to my room and just sobbing, being like, how can I, how can that be me?
• 17:43
  Begonia: And my mom says, when I was eight, I was crying to her saying that I need a manager.
• 17:48
  Begonia: And I didn't know what that meant.
• 17:49
  Begonia: Like I had no idea what that meant, but I, I knew that I had this, this.
• 17:55
  Begonia: Oh, this like burning desire in me to do it, but had no idea how.
• 18:01
  Begonia: So it really was, it, it, it just kind of like put one foot in front of the other, would audition for all the musicals at school.
• 18:09
  Begonia: Uh, heard that there was this band leader that was going around to different churches and, he needed a singer.
• 18:15
  Begonia: So I put on a little cassette tape my voice singing to some spiritual song that I thought was good, sent it to him.
• 18:21
  Begonia: And that's how I first met Joey.
• 18:22
  Begonia: Meg Ryan, like Joey Landreth, like, and started my first band when I was 15.
• 18:27
  Begonia: So everything just kind of felt like it.
• 18:31
  Begonia: I just had such a desire and I didn't really have a distinct path that I knew to follow.
• 18:36
  Begonia: So I just was saying yes.
• 18:38
  Begonia: To anything and everything I could, I could do singing everywhere I could, being in my room, just listening to music, like I feel like I'm not a scholastic person.
• 18:47
  Begonia: I, I didn't really go to school, well, I didn't go to school for music at all, but I was in school, like in my own school, like listening to artists that inspired me and trying to emulate and understanding what my voice could do.
• 19:01
  Begonia: It was almost like I was learning through osmosis and just by doing it so much from a young age.
• 19:09
  Begonia: So it definitely wasn't escape, but I was encouraged.
• 19:12
  Begonia: I mean, my parents didn't know either, so they were like, yeah, go to those auditions, but like, you gotta get a job or like, go to school.
• 19:19
  Begonia: But like, what does that mean?
• 19:21
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 19:22
  Begonia: So it wasn't necessarily, they, they weren't discouraging.
• 19:25
  Begonia: My dad is a visual artist and my mom was a bank teller.
• 19:30
  Begonia: Like we didn't grow up with a lot of money and, but they definitely knew kind of the idea of a.
• 19:35
  Begonia: Different lifestyle.
• 19:37
  Begonia: So I think that was modeled for me in a certain way that then inspired me to think that I could do whatever I wanted to do.
• 19:46
  Glen Erickson: Well, I, I, yeah.
• 19:47
  Glen Erickson: And I think that, that, I always like listening for that because that, you know, how early do we form a belief system that it's, it's possible or it's not possible and, and it's, it's Winnipeg, but I mean, in the scope of the music scene and where it exists in the world, that's like small town still coming outta nowhere type idea and pretty isolated in a, in a number of ways as far as Canadian geography goes, as far as a major city, um, definitely can make you feel landlocked to opportunity.
• 20:21
  Begonia: I didn't know though.
• 20:22
  Begonia: I, I wasn't aware because I didn't really know what the opportunities were.
• 20:27
  Begonia: I tried out for Canadian Idol when I was 15.
• 20:30
  Begonia: I was like, maybe this is how, this is how, you
• 20:33
  Glen Erickson: just had a guy on who did that twice.
• 20:35
  Begonia: Oh, really?
• 20:36
  Glen Erickson: from out here
• 20:37
  Begonia: Okay.
• 20:38
  Begonia: Amazing.
• 20:39
  Glen Erickson: four times before he got on.
• 20:41
  Glen Erickson: I didn't even know it had that many seasons of
• 20:44
  Begonia: exactly.
• 20:45
  Begonia: I tried out once and it did not go well for me.
• 20:48
  Begonia: And I'm, and, and in some ways thinking about it, I'm glad that I had that experience, but I'm glad that I didn't go too far in it too now upon reflection.
• 20:58
  Begonia: 'cause if I would've gotten the career that I thought I wanted when I was 15, it would've been not the one that I want now.
• 21:06
  Glen Erickson: yeah, I mean, that's a great point of reflection that it's so hard to probably tell somebody who's 15.
• 21:13
  Glen Erickson: and it's kind of, seems to me like what you're saying is like being able to look back and know a lot of shit had to happen to get you where,
• 21:22
  Begonia: I'm glad you said shit.
• 21:23
  Begonia: cause I didn't know if I was allowed to swear or not.
• 21:24
  Begonia: And I say
• 21:25
  Glen Erickson: fuck yeah.
• 21:26
  Glen Erickson: Go ahead.
• 21:26
  Glen Erickson: Like, like, come on.
• 21:29
  Begonia: because I was being very, uh,
• 21:31
  Glen Erickson: oh my goodness.
• 21:33
  Begonia: Okay, great.
• 21:34
  Glen Erickson: Was that before I talked about the Mennonite Church stuff even that you thought you had to behave or
• 21:39
  Begonia: I just never know.
• 21:40
  Begonia: I never
• 21:40
  Glen Erickson: C, B, C.
• 21:41
  Glen Erickson: we
• 21:41
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 21:42
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 21:42
  Begonia: You just, I never know.
• 21:43
  Begonia: And I, I have such a sailors mentality that sometimes I, I stop myself.
• 21:47
  Begonia: I have to stop myself first and then just kind of see how,
• 21:51
  Glen Erickson: Good
• 21:51
  Begonia: host says
• 21:52
  Glen Erickson: mean, it's good to have that self-awareness I'm sure, but
• 21:55
  Begonia: but yeah.
• 21:56
  Begonia: No, it's interesting.
• 21:57
  Begonia: I feel like some people feel like some artists, young artists know what they want so early and, and feel so realized.
• 22:05
  Begonia: It took me longer.
• 22:06
  Begonia: It took me longer to kind of get my stride.
• 22:11
  Begonia: That doesn't mean I wasn't trying the whole time.
• 22:13
  Begonia: I, I've written so many songs that now I would look back on and be like, oh no.
• 22:18
  Begonia: But I also feel like that's part of the journey of it.
• 22:21
  Begonia: And when I started this project after being in bands forever and started this solo project, I was so hesitant to put anything out there.
• 22:29
  Begonia: 'cause I wanted to feel.
• 22:31
  Begonia: Perfect.
• 22:32
  Begonia: I wanted to feel like I was ready and, uh, my manager, who I still have, who we still work together, and I love him, and he's just so supportive and he was like, well, you just gotta put, you just gotta start somewhere and then like, think, reflect on like your favorite artists and how you can see their catalogs and you see their growth and where they started and you're not like, look at that loser.
• 22:54
  Begonia: You're like, wow, they were young and they wrote a record that maybe doesn't resonate with them anymore, but that's the journey.
• 22:59
  Begonia: Like, yeah.
• 22:59
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 23:01
  Glen Erickson: I mean, I was gonna ask you about that.
• 23:02
  Glen Erickson: So kind of one of the first big things from the outward appearance that happened for you, and I hope I'm saying the artist, the band name, is it just as it looks Chic Gamine?
• 23:14
  Glen Erickson: Or how do you say
• 23:15
  Begonia: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:16
  Begonia: No, you got it.
• 23:16
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 23:17
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, Okay.
• 23:18
  Glen Erickson: So I mean that is sort of like where, I guess, of the groups that you've played with and stuff that you obviously really registered,'cause it registered nationally.
• 23:30
  Glen Erickson: You release your first record that gets JUNO nominated, JUNO win like, like very small, 21 years old.
• 23:42
  Glen Erickson: Very small company.
• 23:44
  Glen Erickson: To release a record, get nominated in a category even, and also win now that like you're just talking about like the journey and some people know what they want early.
• 23:55
  Glen Erickson: You had a lot to figure out.
• 23:58
  Glen Erickson: I, I can't help but think that that has a real interesting impact on like your expectations of what my, you're 21, what my life is gonna look like.
• 24:08
  Glen Erickson: How easy is this career gonna be?
• 24:11
  Glen Erickson: Does, you know, does everybody just like what we do or do you feel like a fraud?
• 24:16
  Glen Erickson: Because sometimes that can be a problem.
• 24:18
  Glen Erickson: I'm wondering how did that, you know, how did that play out a bit for you in trying to then now make that whole thing continue to have success?
• 24:28
  Glen Erickson: You did get nominated again on your second album, so,
• 24:32
  Begonia: And I haven't won, but like, who cares?
• 24:35
  Begonia: It's, I'm not bitter about it all.
• 24:37
  Begonia: No, I'm actually not.
• 24:38
  Begonia: And I feel like, because with that band, I was so, I, I barely knew my head from my ass.
• 24:48
  Begonia: Like, I barely knew my, like I didn't know what the fuck was going on half the time.
• 24:52
  Begonia: Like I was along for the ride.
• 24:54
  Begonia: I started touring with that band.
• 24:56
  Begonia: I was 18, 19 when I started, uh, doing stuff with them.
• 25:00
  Begonia: And then we were immediately on tour because they were fulfilling an old band's contract, whatever, whatever, semantics.
• 25:06
  Begonia: But like, we were out there right away and everyone in that band was a little older than me.
• 25:11
  Begonia: I felt like I learned so much from them, and by the time I was kind of awake to what was really going on.
• 25:19
  Begonia: In terms of like the business itself and how things ran, we were all basically not working together.
• 25:25
  Begonia: Like we were starting to kind of break up.
• 25:27
  Begonia: So it was like I, by the time I felt like, okay, you know what?
• 25:30
  Begonia: I think I get this whole industry thing.
• 25:33
  Begonia: But winning the JUNO, while it was so exciting, we weren't even there for it because we were on tour, we did a lot of like soft C contract kind of gigs where we would be on tour for long periods of time in the US doing, like season ticket holder theater kind of gigs, where we would kind of be on the bill and people would show up, not necessarily knowing who they're going to see, but they would be there.
• 25:56
  Begonia: So it was a totally different lifestyle.
• 25:58
  Begonia: So we'd go in and we were very like insulated, and then we played one of these shows and during intermission they were like, oh, you wanted Juno?
• 26:05
  Begonia: Because no one in our camp thought we were gonna win.
• 26:08
  Begonia: So we didn't go.
• 26:09
  Begonia: We didn't try to go, we just, we couldn't afford to go.
• 26:12
  Begonia: So it was like, why would we go?
• 26:14
  Begonia: And then we were nominated
• 26:16
  Glen Erickson: they're gonna win.
• 26:17
  Begonia: No.
• 26:17
  Begonia: Oh my gosh.
• 26:17
  Begonia: So then we won.
• 26:18
  Begonia: We were like, holy shit, this is crazy.
• 26:20
  Begonia: And I'm just eating like this cheese plate, like from the rider, like being like, okay, now, now, now what?
• 26:28
  Begonia: Now what do we do?
• 26:30
  Begonia: And
• 26:30
  Glen Erickson: the big thing.
• 26:31
  Glen Erickson: That's the question.
• 26:32
  Glen Erickson: Now what?
• 26:33
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 26:34
  Glen Erickson: So, but you just referenced, like by the time you've said you felt like you got it together, the band was already maybe starting to pull apart.
• 26:42
  Glen Erickson: Like that's what, was that about a five or seven year
• 26:45
  Begonia: It was like eight,
• 26:47
  Glen Erickson: that Yeah.
• 26:47
  Begonia: eight years.
• 26:48
  Glen Erickson: That run?
• 26:49
  Begonia: 2007 to, yeah, 2016.
• 26:54
  Begonia: 15, 15 or something
• 26:55
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 26:56
  Begonia: 14.
• 26:56
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 26:57
  Begonia: And then I didn't wait very long.
• 26:59
  Begonia: I, I hopped right off that train and I was like, 26.
• 27:04
  Begonia: And I'm like, I am too afraid to stop for too long, because what if I stop?
• 27:10
  Begonia: Like putting stuff out there, going on tour, like, what's gonna happen to me?
• 27:14
  Begonia: Like I've already felt like I was too old, which is crazy now that I think about it.
• 27:19
  Begonia: But there was this part of me that was like, I have to keep going.
• 27:22
  Begonia: I have to keep going.
• 27:23
  Begonia: I can't stop and grieve this, and that affected me in different ways in the future,
• 27:27
  Glen Erickson: Okay, that's good.
• 27:28
  Glen Erickson: I was gonna ask you about this,'cause I'm curious always about a transition like that, but for so many reasons.
• 27:35
  Glen Erickson: For you, one of them, the obvious was it did feel like a pretty big genre transition, like to a degree.
• 27:42
  Glen Erickson: So there's always some curiosity about that and whether, uh, and sometimes whether it felt like a full starting over or sometimes you bring, maybe you've made a lot of connections business-wise, industry, you have somewhat of a team already or sometimes you're starting over.
• 27:56
  Glen Erickson: But before I even asked those ones, so I'll just pin in those ones.
• 28:00
  Glen Erickson: Like you just said, I felt like I was too old.
• 28:03
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 28:03
  Glen Erickson: And I've got a couple of friends in this business that I've had long talks about that with.
• 28:09
  Glen Erickson: Um, one of them was a guest, I dunno if you're familiar with an artist named Adaline Canadian artist.
• 28:14
  Begonia: yeah.
• 28:15
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 28:15
  Begonia: Familiar with, yeah.
• 28:17
  Glen Erickson: And so, and she always talked to me at length about how the industry made her feel so old.
• 28:23
  Glen Erickson: And it's strictly a gendered conversation
• 28:26
  Begonia: Of course.
• 28:27
  Glen Erickson: like until guys are my age, they're not made to feel too old for the business.
• 28:32
  Glen Erickson: And 29 is like being
• 28:35
  Begonia: your expired meat.
• 28:37
  Glen Erickson: for, for
• 28:37
  Begonia: turn 30, they take you behind the barn.
• 28:41
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 28:41
  Begonia: It's crazy.
• 28:43
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 28:44
  Glen Erickson: So that was part of the pressure, that was part of the thing going in.
• 28:47
  Glen Erickson: Do you feel like that, I guess I'm curious, I don't know whether you'll be able to answer like were there like specific things that were either said or you experienced from people?
• 28:59
  Glen Erickson: Or do you, was it more of the osmosis of the industry doesn't accept and I know
• 29:04
  Begonia: was more of the osmosis of the industry, I think, and, and like people would ask my age and then I would say it.
• 29:12
  Begonia: 'cause I don't, I was, because I was like, I'm not gonna care about this because this is gonna be what stops me if I do.
• 29:19
  Begonia: Like, I was hammering that into my head.
• 29:22
  Begonia: Like as soon as I felt that fear, I had enough people, friends in, in the industry that believed in me, that really encouraged me.
• 29:32
  Begonia: That made me feel like, oh yeah, fuck this, then I can do this.
• 29:36
  Begonia: But then I also had this looming sense of like, okay, so what if, so what's on the opposite side of that?
• 29:42
  Begonia: So I give in and I say, yeah, you're right.
• 29:44
  Begonia: I'm too old.
• 29:45
  Begonia: So I stop and then I turn.
• 29:47
  Begonia: So then in 10 years from now, I kept reflecting on like me 10 years later when I'm 36, looking back, being like, are you kidding me?
• 29:55
  Begonia: You thought you were old then?
• 29:56
  Begonia: Because I just, I.
• 29:58
  Begonia: I just had to like remind myself like, you think you're old now?
• 30:02
  Begonia: 'cause I always thought I was too old.
• 30:03
  Begonia: When I met Joey when I was 15, I had just started learning acoustic guitar on my own.
• 30:09
  Begonia: I met him, he had started playing when he was four.
• 30:12
  Begonia: I was like, oh, I'm too old.
• 30:14
  Begonia: I can't do this.
• 30:15
  Begonia: And I put my guitar away because I felt shame for being too old.
• 30:19
  Glen Erickson: Hmm.
• 30:20
  Begonia: He never made me feel like that, ever, ever, ever, ever.
• 30:23
  Begonia: But it was this thing of like, oh my gosh, that feeling of like always being a few steps behind that I'm always fighting in this industry and that I feel like every time I do something, I'm just saying like, fuck you to that feeling.
• 30:36
  Begonia: And I feel like that's what drove me is that I had a very supportive team around me that no one instilled those beliefs in me that I was working with closely.
• 30:48
  Begonia: And anyone that did, I could just be like, fuck you.
• 30:52
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 30:53
  Begonia: And that's the attitude that I took on and that that's not to say that sometimes.
• 30:57
  Begonia: It would affect me and it still does when people make it a thing.
• 31:01
  Begonia: But I also have come to realize too, it's, I have a lot of control over that feeling that it's like someone could say, I'm too old.
• 31:08
  Begonia: And it's like, okay, so should I just stop?
• 31:10
  Begonia: I'm not going to, so then do I let that affect me?
• 31:14
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, and I oversimplified this in a conversation of the day and I'm wondering whether you feel like that re this resonates with what you're talking about.
• 31:24
  Glen Erickson: I feel like it's entirely boiled down to the hyper fixation on the marketing aspect of the music industry.
• 31:32
  Glen Erickson: Has nothing to do with the art, right?
• 31:34
  Glen Erickson: It has nothing to do with the art.
• 31:35
  Glen Erickson: It's a hundred percent the marketing like machine, um, which tends to care more about itself than the music itself.
• 31:44
  Glen Erickson: Um, but.
• 31:45
  Begonia: totally.
• 31:46
  Glen Erickson: we all know that.
• 31:47
  Glen Erickson: Um,
• 31:48
  Begonia: out there.
• 31:49
  Glen Erickson: so, so you make this transition to a solo artist and there's a couple interesting things, like I said in there for me.
• 31:56
  Glen Erickson: Number one is, did you already know the musical direction that you're like, I need to go this way, this is what I wanna do,
• 32:04
  Begonia: Not
• 32:04
  Glen Erickson: was that to you had to flush it out.
• 32:07
  Begonia: Yeah, I had to flush it out.
• 32:09
  Begonia: Oh my gosh.
• 32:09
  Begonia: There's a giant squirrel looking at me right now in the window.
• 32:12
  Begonia: Sorry.
• 32:12
  Begonia: I got distracted by the Winnipeg Wilderness.
• 32:14
  Begonia: okay.
• 32:15
  Begonia: I had to flesh it out a little bit.
• 32:18
  Begonia: I had been working kind of on the side with some friends of mine named Matt Sheinberg and Matt Peters from a band
• 32:25
  Glen Erickson: Royal Canoe.
• 32:26
  Glen Erickson: Yep.
• 32:26
  Begonia: so I'd been working with them since I was also quite young in tandem.
• 32:32
  Begonia: Like I had my main band chicken in.
• 32:33
  Begonia: That was like my main project.
• 32:35
  Begonia: They were my ride or dies.
• 32:36
  Begonia: Like I would always, and then I'd be home and Helberg would be like, why don't you come over and we just work on something with you?
• 32:43
  Begonia: He was definitely like a huge proponent of me.
• 32:46
  Begonia: Having my voice standalone.
• 32:48
  Begonia: So I'd always been tinkering with him kind of in the background on little things that felt more like bedroom poppy, indie pop kind of stuff.
• 32:57
  Begonia: More highly produced, a little less organic in terms of the tones that were being used, but the voice always being like at the center of it, the most organic instrument there is.
• 33:07
  Begonia: And so I always found myself drawn to that instead of necessarily a specific Jo genre.
• 33:15
  Begonia: It was more like, how can I take my main instrument, the most organic thing and blend it with these modern kind of symptoms and modern production and, and make that something that resonated with me.
• 33:30
  Begonia: And that was kind of the main, so it wasn't like, we're gonna make a this kind of song, or we're gonna make a, this kind of song.
• 33:36
  Begonia: It was like.
• 33:37
  Begonia: How can the voice shine?
• 33:38
  Begonia: And it, it, it's taken us a while to kind of get there together, recorded live.
• 33:44
  Begonia: I find it so much easier for me to just like, let loose and be raw and then I would get in the studio and I'd be like, it has to be perfect.
• 33:52
  Begonia: It has to be perfect.
• 33:53
  Begonia: And that would kind of suck some of the soul out of it.
• 33:56
  Begonia: And it's taken me a while to
• 33:58
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 33:59
  Begonia: understand and recognize that like my favorite albums, my favorite artists are not by definition perfect in any way.
• 34:07
  Begonia: So why am I trying to strive for that?
• 34:09
  Begonia: Just so that people can say she's a great singer.
• 34:12
  Begonia: It's like, why?
• 34:14
  Begonia: Like that's not, yeah.
• 34:15
  Begonia: It's more, the feeling of it all means so much more to me.
• 34:18
  Begonia: And when people will come up to me and be like, the album is amazing, but you live is crazy.
• 34:24
  Begonia: I'm like, okay, so how can I, what am I missing here?
• 34:28
  Begonia: So it's it, I'm always
• 34:30
  Glen Erickson: Hmm.
• 34:30
  Begonia: thinking about it.
• 34:31
  Begonia: And from the beginning I've been thinking about it in that way, like, how can I connect?
• 34:35
  Begonia: But I've definitely.
• 34:38
  Begonia: Learned that to be a singer and to be perfect is not what I'm trying to do.
• 34:44
  Glen Erickson: Well, that's a great point.
• 34:47
  Glen Erickson: Let me ask you this based on what you just said, because I think the most common way I get that direction spun is that people make as perfect a record they can, and then they absolutely freak out.
• 35:01
  Glen Erickson: Melt in anxiety about trying to recreate it live.
• 35:04
  Glen Erickson: And you have people coming up to you and saying the record's really great and all, but you're crazy live, uh, because you know you are and you put a lot into it.
• 35:13
  Glen Erickson: And, and obviously your charisma, I think in real life just brings things to life that, you know, a record that's melted down to have a nice mastered EQ can never, can never do.
• 35:25
  Glen Erickson: Or the, or the way a room is gonna contribute to that experience for a person and they don't even know it and, and stuff.
• 35:32
  Glen Erickson: So, but, so for you, having that consideration being a little bit the other way around, is that, is that relatively new?
• 35:43
  Glen Erickson: Are you saying like, at this point in your career, at this
• 35:46
  Begonia: I've always tried to strive for that, but that I've still kind of stood behind the engineer and been like, Polish that.
• 35:53
  Begonia: Polish that off.
• 35:54
  Begonia: Don't, don't, I don't wanna say that.
• 35:56
  Begonia: Oh, that sounds rough.
• 35:58
  Begonia: But then now this record was one that's specifically the ethos of it that we talked about was like, leave some warts in, leave some messy moments.
• 36:09
  Begonia: Leave some where I'm just fucking being an idiot.
• 36:12
  Begonia: Like riffing on the mic.
• 36:13
  Begonia: Like leave, leave that shit in.
• 36:16
  Begonia: That is what makes the show, what gives the show that energy.
• 36:21
  Begonia: So we tried to do that more.
• 36:22
  Begonia: We definitely, like, I still feel like I have further than I can go, but at the time.
• 36:28
  Begonia: That's as far as I felt like I wanted to go, and now I listen and I'm like, okay, I know I can push this further.
• 36:32
  Begonia: So that'll be for the next one, I guess.
• 36:34
  Glen Erickson: Well, I was gonna ask, I was, I was gonna say, do you have an idea of what you bring?
• 36:39
  Glen Erickson: Like what would that mean?
• 36:41
  Glen Erickson: Like what do you need to bring
• 36:43
  Begonia: I
• 36:43
  Glen Erickson: that's in your live show to a record that somebody who's encountering
• 36:49
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 36:49
  Begonia: It's just even more abandoned.
• 36:51
  Begonia: I feel even more abandoned.
• 36:54
  Begonia: But I do feel like I've tapped into that more with this record, and that is something that I feel I felt very good about.
• 37:01
  Begonia: When we were done recording.
• 37:02
  Begonia: I didn't have any kind of regrets or anything that I would wanna go back on, but that's always, I always wanna push myself to be a bit uncomfortable, and I think I'm now far more comfortable with being uncomfortable than I used to be.
• 37:20
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 37:21
  Glen Erickson: Well, I was gonna say at one point, I mean, I like hearing you say that because, uh, a couple of things of my own observation of the whole thing, which is, um, I would normally talk to somebody in their growth, in their discography or timeline.
• 37:38
  Glen Erickson: I, we'd probably be talking around the concept of evolution, and I think that's how we often will talk about an artist, but.
• 37:46
  Glen Erickson: Honestly like that.
• 37:47
  Glen Erickson: I just knew, I was even writing last night.
• 37:49
  Glen Erickson: I'm like, that's not the word, that's not the word for her.
• 37:52
  Glen Erickson: Um, and I realized it was really amplification, if that makes
• 37:55
  Begonia: mm.
• 37:56
  Glen Erickson: Like I feel like, like the, and just the way you were describing, and I don't know if that makes sense for you and, and your process is that it was always there.
• 38:05
  Glen Erickson: Like even when I saw you in 2020, you seemed kind of badass on, badass on stage and, and commanding attention and, and the confidence was there and both in just the way you carried yourself, but also the way you sang.
• 38:20
  Glen Erickson: and then I hear now, which I, by the way, side side note, I first heard you're harder than the sun single on our alt station Sonic here, who
• 38:32
  Begonia: Oh,
• 38:32
  Glen Erickson: not typically go that far
• 38:36
  Begonia: Hell
• 38:36
  Glen Erickson: fringe of their little box.
• 38:38
  Begonia: I love
• 38:39
  Glen Erickson: was.
• 38:40
  Glen Erickson: I was pretty excited.
• 38:40
  Glen Erickson: I thought this is absolutely amazing.
• 38:43
  Glen Erickson: Um, so many of your songs on this record have like serious cahones behind them in the way you're delivering them.
• 38:50
  Glen Erickson: And, and, and I guess I would say this in the way that I'm like, it's not evolved, it's amplified.
• 38:57
  Glen Erickson: It's like it was always there, but now you sound like, um, I was just comfortable enough to be on my Canadian stage, or I was just comfortable enough.
• 39:08
  Glen Erickson: You know what I mean?
• 39:09
  Glen Erickson: And now it's, you're sounding like, uh, give me any stage in the world and I'm gonna blow you over.
• 39:16
  Glen Erickson: But that's what it sounds like to
• 39:18
  Begonia: I love, I love that.
• 39:19
  Begonia: I love that.
• 39:21
  Glen Erickson: So when I hear you say that, I feel like I need you to know.
• 39:24
  Glen Erickson: Like I really think it's obvious.
• 39:26
  Glen Erickson: I think that it's really obvious.
• 39:27
  Glen Erickson: Um, really
• 39:29
  Begonia: love that.
• 39:30
  Begonia: Thank you.
• 39:31
  Glen Erickson: so you made make this transition.
• 39:33
  Glen Erickson: You had some direction in music.
• 39:35
  Glen Erickson: And by the way, I think it's interesting working with the guys and they use the, the moniker Deadman in, in this effort of theirs.
• 39:43
  Glen Erickson: Royal Canoe comes out pretty organic.
• 39:45
  Glen Erickson: It's a band.
• 39:47
  Glen Erickson: So they're obviously all also bringing energy of like, we wanna experiment with this other stuff.
• 39:53
  Glen Erickson: And you're bringing this energy of like, I want to see how my voice can just be over anything.
• 39:59
  Begonia: Yep.
• 40:00
  Glen Erickson: So it, it makes a lot of sense, I guess, is what I'm saying.
• 40:03
  Glen Erickson: Like that's a
• 40:04
  Begonia: and we, yeah,
• 40:05
  Glen Erickson: dynamic of two, two purposes hitting each other.
• 40:10
  Begonia: a really beautiful friendship bond and vulnerability with each other over the years.
• 40:16
  Begonia: I think making music together, it's such a vulnerable thing when you're really, when you really just let all the ego go and you just are showing that voice memo that you put into your phone at three in the morning when you sound groggy and you're like, do you guys see anything in this?
• 40:34
  Begonia: It's like, there's such a, and even with them, I would still be like, don't listen.
• 40:38
  Begonia: No, no, no.
• 40:38
  Begonia: That's not right.
• 40:39
  Begonia: Like, I would still get nervous.
• 40:41
  Begonia: But we've developed, I feel such a safety with them at the end of the day, and I think that that's what comes through then that's what's allowed me to amplify or like evolve or whatever is is working with people that I know.
• 40:56
  Begonia: I respect and they respect me, and I have their back.
• 40:58
  Begonia: They have my back, and we're all just going towards what feels the most like real at the end of the day.
• 41:08
  Glen Erickson: yeah.
• 41:09
  Glen Erickson: So I mean, you've already made the joke, by the way, about like, I never win shit.
• 41:13
  Glen Erickson: but, but here's the funny angle of the way I'm seeing it, which is I already made the, you know, the comment, like the first band puts out this first album wins like rare, rare experience for most people to go through.
• 41:29
  Glen Erickson: Um, but then you go solo, you're got all of this stuff you said is going on, like I just need to do it.
• 41:36
  Glen Erickson: That real fear that people will a forget about me.
• 41:40
  Glen Erickson: Or even just your connections probably to people to make stuff happen.
• 41:43
  Glen Erickson: You just want to keep that, you wanna just keep it going, right?
• 41:46
  Glen Erickson: I'm sure.
• 41:47
  Glen Erickson: so you release an ep, but then you release a full length, your first full length album, which is the 20 19 1 right?
• 41:54
  Glen Erickson: Fear.
• 41:54
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 41:55
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 41:56
  Glen Erickson: So your, your first two full length records get.
• 42:01
  Glen Erickson: Like carte blanche nominations in Canadian royalty.
• 42:04
  Glen Erickson: You get the Juno noms, you get the Polaris Noms.
• 42:08
  Glen Erickson: Long list and short list.
• 42:10
  Glen Erickson: I'm just wondering personally,'cause I know like humor deflects things
• 42:14
  Begonia: But yeah, of course, that's my
• 42:16
  Glen Erickson: I'm just, I'm just, I'm the same way.
• 42:18
  Glen Erickson: Um, I'm just curious how that has, how that's felt for you, that experience, like what you're putting out is getting critical acclaim in our country For sure.
• 42:33
  Glen Erickson: I don't know that anybody really knows, and I'm always wondering how many, who listens to my podcast, whether they would know like how that actually translates into quote unquote success.
• 42:46
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 42:47
  Glen Erickson: does it actually put gas in the tank?
• 42:50
  Begonia: Uh, that's, yeah, that's a good que My mom always says Safeway doesn't care if you're nominated for a Juno.
• 42:56
  Begonia: Like, just as a form of like empathy, like sympathy with me, like whatever.
• 43:01
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 43:02
  Begonia: You know what, uh, okay.
• 43:04
  Begonia: My partner and I talk about this a lot.
• 43:06
  Begonia: We've been together for about 10 years.
• 43:07
  Begonia: So basically since this project started, and we've worked on all the art for this project together, all the visuals, all, and we're in the same home.
• 43:15
  Begonia: We pay the same bills and we talk about this a lot.
• 43:19
  Begonia: We're like, okay, what is, what is success?
• 43:21
  Begonia: And that is an ever changing goal for me.
• 43:25
  Begonia: I, I feel like I, if I'm thinking of where I started, I have defied what I thought I would ever be able to do.
• 43:35
  Begonia: Defied what I thought success would be for me in exactly the things that you're listing in the way that I, we rent a home here in Winnipeg and I mean, it's cheap, cheaper to be an artist here than it is to be in many places in this country.
• 43:50
  Begonia: But we make do, and I am borrowing my parents' car right now, but we put some gas in the tank every once in a while and it's like, it's, it's enough, it's enough for me.
• 44:02
  Begonia: I want, I strive for more, I strive for more in terms of, not necessarily, I, I don't strive for like monetary gain other than just to be able to pay off debts and pay my bills.
• 44:14
  Begonia: That's what I want.
• 44:16
  Begonia: But I strive to be, I strive to be able to go overseas, play any kind of what that 1000 cap room that I want to, and people will show up.
• 44:26
  Begonia: That would be the dream for me.
• 44:27
  Begonia: And that would be something that would be like.
• 44:30
  Begonia: all like the kind of check marks of the barometers of success that I've achieved so many that I'm so grateful for.
• 44:37
  Begonia: That's one that I have yet to achieve, that I want to achieve is just to feel comfortable and, and to go on tour and not be like, how many people are gonna be in the room tonight?
• 44:48
  Begonia: I don't wanna have to have those, those fears.
• 44:51
  Begonia: And there is a, a part of being from Winnipeg and being in the community that I am in, where being an underdog is just a feeling that I'm used to like being kind of like.
• 45:03
  Begonia: Coming from a city that everyone's like, fuck, Winnipeg.
• 45:05
  Begonia: Like, but now people are starting to see it a little bit more.
• 45:07
  Begonia: But whenever I go anywhere more,
• 45:11
  Glen Erickson: fuck
• 45:11
  Begonia: more, more, especially Ontario, I see you.
• 45:15
  Begonia: But like they, they're all, they're all like, oh Yeah.
• 45:18
  Begonia: Winnipeg, you like it there, you like it there.
• 45:20
  Begonia: And people telling me in the industry for years that I have to move to Toronto
• 45:24
  Glen Erickson: A hundred
• 45:24
  Begonia: somewhere more if I wanna make it.
• 45:26
  Begonia: And I love, like I have this defiance in me that's just like, well then I'm not gonna do it
• 45:33
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 45:33
  Begonia: fuck you.
• 45:35
  Begonia: And I don't know if that's always like, good for me, but that's how I usually am.
• 45:39
  Glen Erickson: yeah, but here you are.
• 45:40
  Glen Erickson: So
• 45:40
  Begonia: And here I'm, so, I feel like it may be a different road, uh, or a longer road, but I'm also like not trying to just do this for a few years.
• 45:49
  Begonia: I'm trying to do this for the rest of my life.
• 45:51
  Begonia: So
• 45:51
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 45:53
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 45:53
  Glen Erickson: I always remember saying to some people,'cause I didn't even get started until I was in my thirties and I remember sitting with Grant Lawrence at, in Radio three, and he kept asking me just questions about, why are you like, how do you, you're a dad?
• 46:08
  Glen Erickson: Like you, like I had a new kid.
• 46:10
  Glen Erickson: And they're like, what are you doing this for?
• 46:12
  Glen Erickson: And um, but I always thought like, if I have to work three times as hard to get to play the game with everyone else, I'll work three times as hard.
• 46:19
  Glen Erickson: 'cause this is all I wanted.
• 46:20
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 46:20
  Glen Erickson: And,
• 46:21
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 46:21
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 46:22
  Glen Erickson: and I love what you were saying, and thanks for just being bold enough to just say Ontario, because lot of, well, a lot of people still would be too scared to say it because they.
• 46:33
  Glen Erickson: It is still like the, the Golden Teet that we have go to on, on Mother Cow.
• 46:38
  Glen Erickson: But, we, my band, by the way, they have my, I was gonna say my band actually named our second record, we called it Hauntario because one half of it was a band called The Wheat Pool back in the two thousands.
• 46:52
  Glen Erickson: And so, um, but half of the concept of that joining of words was the constant pull to Ontario we were experiencing where people were like, are you gonna move to Ontario or are you gonna move to Ontario?
• 47:02
  Glen Erickson: Like, you're gonna go to Toronto.
• 47:04
  Glen Erickson: And so that pull is very real.
• 47:06
  Glen Erickson: I've talked about it quite a bit on the podcast, but, I appreciate you talking about what success looked like.
• 47:11
  Glen Erickson: I did, I, I'd heard you and I even wrote it down, you made the statement to Tom on, on Q of, of.
• 47:18
  Glen Erickson: How you grew up being like, I just want a career.
• 47:21
  Glen Erickson: And then you got the career and it's like, I just want success.
• 47:23
  Glen Erickson: But then you're like, what actually is success now?
• 47:26
  Glen Erickson: 'cause it can be a lot of things to people, and for some people it's just like, can I just afford to keep doing this?
• 47:33
  Glen Erickson: You know?
• 47:34
  Glen Erickson: Can I believe that?
• 47:35
  Glen Erickson: Like I can take a break and come back and start and there will still be opportunity for me.
• 47:41
  Glen Erickson: Is that success?
• 47:42
  Glen Erickson: You know?
• 47:42
  Begonia: still, that's still a, a thing that plagues me sometimes is the whole how to take.
• 47:49
  Begonia: How to take breaks.
• 47:50
  Begonia: How to take breaks in like the online realm.
• 47:53
  Begonia: And I find myself, even right now, I feel like I'm kind of in that place right now where it's like, okay, I just put the record out, but I'm feeling kind of seasonally depressed, to be honest.
• 48:03
  Begonia: Like feeling kind of like, and, and my goal was to post every day.
• 48:08
  Begonia: This is so the minutiae of it all, but it just gets to me, man.
• 48:10
  Begonia: It's like I, my goal was to post every day and then last week I was so confusingly sad that I just couldn't, I had to take, it's been maybe like a week and I was looking forward to this podcast because I was like, okay, maybe this'll like kind of massage some things out of me.
• 48:30
  Begonia: Like to just talk about music for a while just to get some,'cause it doesn't make sense all the time.
• 48:35
  Begonia: Like I do feel like I am.
• 48:38
  Begonia: Living a life that I never thought I would.
• 48:41
  Begonia: And and it's almost like every time you get to that next, you, you like see the, see through the glass ceiling or whatever, and you see everyone partying up there.
• 48:50
  Begonia: Then you get to that floor and you realize that there's like 17 floors and you're like, what the fuck?
• 48:54
  Begonia: I thought I got there.
• 48:56
  Begonia: But, but I also think that that is part of it, that's part of the journey if, and I have to make friends with that a little more.
• 49:04
  Begonia: And it's hard for me.
• 49:05
  Begonia: It's hard.
• 49:06
  Begonia: It's hard to like expend all that energy and put all that emotion out there because my music is so close to me as that, like almost every artist, it feels so sensitive and then it's all out and then everyone's like, what's next?
• 49:21
  Begonia: What's next?
• 49:22
  Begonia: And you're
• 49:22
  Glen Erickson: That's the first thing always.
• 49:24
  Begonia: birthed a fucking.
• 49:26
  Begonia: I can't fucking think straight, but I have to be like, Hey guys, you'll never guess what I'm eating for breakfast today.
• 49:33
  Begonia: It's just like, oh fuck.
• 49:34
  Begonia: Like, I just can't.
• 49:35
  Begonia: It's, it's difficult.
• 49:36
  Begonia: it's it's been, it's been interesting.
• 49:40
  Glen Erickson: Well, I mean, that's the artist's life, right?
• 49:41
  Glen Erickson: Which is you like, you have to be cognizant of the fact that you're gonna put yourself and be seen by people who.
• 49:50
  Glen Erickson: A large portion you hope are, they're seeing you for the first time and then you have to bring that same new energy the same way as you said, I just birthed this fucking album that took me two years to make or whatever.
• 50:02
  Glen Erickson: But people consume albums like, there's gonna be a new one out tomorrow and there's a new one today.
• 50:08
  Glen Erickson: And, and you have to show up with the same energy as if you just recorded that sucker yesterday as if you just felt that heartbreak in that song
• 50:17
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 50:18
  Glen Erickson: that anger like yesterday.
• 50:19
  Glen Erickson: And then I have to deliver it every night on the stage.
• 50:22
  Glen Erickson: Like this is the part of that version of artist that I think is so challenging that people don't always understand.
• 50:30
  Glen Erickson: Trickles down the layers of the business of it, the
• 50:33
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 50:34
  Glen Erickson: of it.
• 50:34
  Glen Erickson: Like everyone else.
• 50:36
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 50:37
  Glen Erickson: Everyone else is in a cycle
• 50:39
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 50:39
  Glen Erickson: nine to five, five days a week for the most part.
• 50:42
  Glen Erickson: Of, you know, in some version and an artist is, has no cycle.
• 50:48
  Glen Erickson: Then I put a thing out, you know, and then now everyone's asking what's next?
• 50:53
  Glen Erickson: And now I don't have anything to do for a while.
• 50:55
  Glen Erickson: And then all of a sudden I'm on the road and my life is 16 hour days and then all of a sudden, immediately it's nothing again.
• 51:03
  Glen Erickson: Like it, it can drive people a little crazy.
• 51:05
  Begonia: I, I totally, I went on my first bus tour two years ago, like full bus tour, and I saw like all the lore around like the road dog being on the bus tour, going crazy, doing a shit ton of drugs and all that shit.
• 51:21
  Begonia: I just saw how easy it could be to go absolutely insane on a bus tour.
• 51:25
  Begonia: I love touring and hey, one day if I can afford to do a full bus tour, I'm not gonna shake my my head at that, like I'm gonna fucking do it.
• 51:33
  Begonia: But it's like, oh my gosh, you just wake up and you're in this different place.
• 51:37
  Begonia: You walk out the door, you're like, how do I find a bathroom?
• 51:40
  Begonia: And it's like, I can see how it could drive a bitch.
• 51:42
  Begonia: Crazy.
• 51:44
  Begonia: All this being said though, I don't wanna go down this road too, of just like saying, oh, it's so hard.
• 51:49
  Begonia: 'cause that's not, I don't, I don't feel like a victim to this life.
• 51:54
  Begonia: Like I have chosen this life so actively and I've been doing it in my entire adult life, in half of my teens.
• 52:02
  Begonia: Like it's definitely, the fact that I've been able to do it for this long is incredible if I really think about it.
• 52:10
  Begonia: Do it in the way that I've been doing it.
• 52:12
  Begonia: And I do feel like it's this slow kind of rise for me.
• 52:16
  Begonia: I'm not the kind of artist that has had these big pings and then down, it's been just kind of like chugging up, chugging up.
• 52:24
  Begonia: It's never been like a full downturn.
• 52:26
  Begonia: It's just been like a quiet chug.
• 52:28
  Begonia: And I feel like I'm constantly just making friends with that.
• 52:32
  Begonia: And I'm constantly just kind of, just when I think I understand.
• 52:37
  Begonia: It's like being in Winnipeg in the snow falls for the first time and everyone's like, what the fuck?
• 52:41
  Begonia: And it's like you've lived here all your life, you know?
• 52:43
  Begonia: This happens.
• 52:44
  Begonia: This happens every year.
• 52:46
  Glen Erickson: change your tires already.
• 52:47
  Begonia: Exactly.
• 52:48
  Begonia: And I feel like with this, even just my little bouts of kind of post-release depression or post tour depression, I can't be surprised like, but I'm trying to just make friends with that a little bit more.
• 53:05
  Begonia: And I don't have the answer.
• 53:06
  Begonia: It's just like my, I feel so lucky to be able to do this and do this with my partner and that we're so entrenched in this life and there is a lot of beauty to it and the highs are highs and the lows are fucking low.
• 53:19
  Begonia: And, but, but I don't, I'm not necessarily wishing that I was doing anything else.
• 53:27
  Begonia: It is confusing as fuck sometimes though.
• 53:30
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 53:30
  Glen Erickson: But I love knowing what keeps people going.
• 53:33
  Begonia: Yes,
• 53:34
  Glen Erickson: described some of those things because there's such, there's so much life apart from what people see.
• 53:40
  Glen Erickson: And by the way, I'm guilty of, so I, I, I sort of have apologized that I love commiserating and what we were just doing is commiserating.
• 53:49
  Glen Erickson: And then I
• 53:50
  Begonia: and I love
• 53:50
  Glen Erickson: have to be, but I have to be cognizant that I'm putting out a podcast that then you have a perception of like, I don't want to look like I'm complaining
• 53:59
  Begonia: Literally,
• 54:00
  Glen Erickson: that you and I are just commiserating.
• 54:02
  Glen Erickson: 'cause I know what you're talking about.
• 54:03
  Glen Erickson: So I have to be a little bit better at, being cognizant
• 54:06
  Begonia: No, no, I hear you
• 54:07
  Glen Erickson: those conversations.
• 54:09
  Begonia: I appreciate you understanding though,'cause it does make it easier to just be frank about it all because
• 54:16
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 54:16
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 54:17
  Begonia: I, I feel heard.
• 54:18
  Begonia: It's not like, but it is, it's, it's not even me kind of counteracting what you're saying.
• 54:23
  Begonia: It's me also just like, because I'm in this head space that I'm in right now trying to be like, okay, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 54:29
  Begonia: This is hard.
• 54:31
  Begonia: Okay.
• 54:31
  Begonia: But in conclusion, I am pretty lucky.
• 54:34
  Begonia: So let's, let's try to not end, like for, this is for me, like me reinforcing kind of how I'm trying to think.
• 54:43
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, I think that's awesome.
• 54:45
  Glen Erickson: so tell me a couple things about yourself.
• 54:48
  Glen Erickson: I want to know then, um, that I really sort of, in talking about your new record and me saying it feels amplified, which I think is just an amazing, I don't, I just haven't gotten that impression in someone's trajectory very often.
• 55:01
  Glen Erickson: So it stood out to me.
• 55:02
  Glen Erickson: but if I'm gonna like, drill down on what stands out to me is, I think there's two things that probably stand about.
• 55:07
  Glen Erickson: About you to everybody right off the bat, which is your voice and your stage performance, which we've already talked about a little bit, which are like unreal.
• 55:17
  Glen Erickson: Like you've obviously both got the natural talent, but you've been doing this long enough.
• 55:23
  Glen Erickson: You have to hone your talent to be able to take it, continue to take it next level.
• 55:28
  Glen Erickson: So I'm just, guess one of my questions is like, how much work have you had to do on those?
• 55:37
  Glen Erickson: Or is the vocal work more maintaining, like there's a lot of work to be able to do this more full-time all the time.
• 55:47
  Glen Erickson: Is it, is it that kind of work?
• 55:48
  Glen Erickson: And I, I guess my natural curiosity is which, which side do you feel like you have to work on more, or which side do you just tend to lean on?
• 55:58
  Glen Erickson: Your, your kind of your gut and your natural,
• 56:02
  Begonia: With stage performance, it is all, not necessarily all, but mostly gut and natural instincts and trying not to overthink and, and there are certain, like for certain shows, I definitely really enjoy producing and curating and understanding how a set lifts and dips and, and, and in certain moments.
• 56:26
  Begonia: I know.
• 56:27
  Begonia: Okay.
• 56:27
  Begonia: I will speak there.
• 56:28
  Begonia: I don't know exactly what I'm gonna say yet, but I know that I will be speaking.
• 56:32
  Begonia: Be it, uh, some sort of hello everyone, or be it a Hong Kong, like I have no fucking clue what it will be, but something will happen there.
• 56:40
  Begonia: And then when you're on like a longer tour, you kind of start, I would start like throwing things out there and then seeing like, oh, that lands.
• 56:47
  Begonia: Okay, I'll probably say that again tomorrow.
• 56:48
  Begonia: Then like, just see like certain, certain things.
• 56:51
  Begonia: To me, it's all about being in the room with people, so it's so hard.
• 56:55
  Begonia: I like rehearsing obviously is great and I wanna do it and whatever, but like it's hard with the stage, like the banter side and exactly how I'm gonna sing things.
• 57:07
  Begonia: It's hard to know until I'm on stage in front of people because there is this power, there is this thing that happens sometimes during shows where like you do things or you say things that you wouldn't normally do when you're in a rehearsal space with the dudes like just staring at you being Like whatever.
• 57:25
  Begonia: Like it all kind of comes together when I'm on stage.
• 57:28
  Begonia: There's just that magic.
• 57:29
  Begonia: Fairy dust that doesn't exist anywhere else.
• 57:33
  Begonia: So there's a part of me that, like, I, I'm definitely thoughtful about it and I try to take care of my voice, and when I'm more like on tour and stuff, I'll de, I have warmup routines, I have routines to like keep me, uh, my ability up.
• 57:49
  Begonia: But like, when it comes to just the alchemy of all of that, it's like certain things just can't happen unless I'm in that room doing it Exactly live.
• 58:00
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 58:01
  Glen Erickson: Do you have a lot of like, it, actually, the better way to say this and frame it like you just got like some really big strong vocals and you belt a lot and you, and you do a lot of things that aren't easy.
• 58:17
  Glen Erickson: I was watching a live performance, uh, recently, like.
• 58:20
  Glen Erickson: you did some breath control at the very, very, very end of this live performance song that, you know, that's the part where you're most tired.
• 58:28
  Glen Erickson: And it was impressive, obviously, technically.
• 58:32
  Glen Erickson: but, you know, you hear like renowned some people who like, I won't talk to anybody for five hours before the performance.
• 58:38
  Glen Erickson: Like, is, is your life still fairly loose and free, or have you had to start to lock some disciplines down?
• 58:46
  Begonia: definitely locked some disciplines down.
• 58:49
  Begonia: When I first started touring with this project, I was far more loose, fast and loose when it came to even just going out after shows.
• 58:58
  Begonia: Not, not in a alarming sense, but just I, I wouldn't think about it as much and then I would get to the end of tours and I wouldn't be able to maintain and I'd be so confused as to why.
• 59:10
  Begonia: And then I would get home and be like, yeah, duh.
• 59:12
  Begonia: 'cause you're burning the candle at both ends like this, this is a job.
• 59:16
  Begonia: Like, and so now I am a bit more.
• 59:19
  Begonia: Uh, I, I gauge how I feel.
• 59:21
  Begonia: It's, if I'm feeling kind of more strained, I don't go out for dinner with the band.
• 59:26
  Begonia: I don't, like, I get to the venue and then I just stay there and I do my warmups.
• 59:32
  Begonia: I won't usually go out and party after shows unless it's like the end of a tour.
• 59:37
  Begonia: I have like, maybe a drink or two a night or not.
• 59:44
  Begonia: Like, and I don't, the the one discipline that I had to put into place, which is sad, is just not going out to the merch table anymore after shows.
• 59:52
  Begonia: 'cause that was something that I would really enjoy doing to actually like meet people and connect with fans.
• 59:56
  Begonia: But I, it's the talking that is
• 59:58
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, that's exactly it.
• 1:00:00
  Begonia: that is when I would.
• 1:00:02
  Begonia: Find myself at the end of tour.
• 1:00:03
  Begonia: It's like even more than just like going out.
• 1:00:05
  Begonia: It was the talking in bars, in clubs, uh, talking to people emphatically share these emotions.
• 1:00:11
  Begonia: It's like by the end of it, I wouldn't be able to speak and that is something I've had to cut out of my tour life.
• 1:00:17
  Begonia: And it's sad'cause I miss seeing people, but it's also like if I wanna perform the show, I can't do that anymore.
• 1:00:24
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, I mean talking in bars is literally like,
• 1:00:28
  Begonia: The killer
• 1:00:28
  Glen Erickson: way you have to talk in a bar, what that does to your vocal strain is like maybe the worst version
• 1:00:34
  Begonia: Oh yeah.
• 1:00:36
  Glen Erickson: It's
• 1:00:36
  Begonia: long to understand that and it makes so much fucking sense.
• 1:00:39
  Begonia: As soon as the light went off, I was like, uh, duh.
• 1:00:42
  Begonia: But it took me so long to like make that connection and then when I did it changed everything for me on the road.
• 1:00:47
  Begonia: Now I can last a whole tour.
• 1:00:49
  Begonia: No problem.
• 1:00:50
  Glen Erickson: that's pretty great.
• 1:00:52
  Glen Erickson: So fantasy life is a fucking great record.
• 1:00:56
  Glen Erickson: I would be so surprised if it didn't continue your run of nominations, but we all know how fickle those things are.
• 1:01:04
  Glen Erickson: I'm,
• 1:01:04
  Begonia: never know
• 1:01:05
  Glen Erickson: you just never know.
• 1:01:07
  Glen Erickson: I'm guessing though.
• 1:01:09
  Glen Erickson: I have this hunch I had it before we talked and now that we've talked for an hour, I have an even greater hunch that you give the least amount of shits about that now in your career.
• 1:01:20
  Begonia: be cool.
• 1:01:21
  Begonia: I'm not gonna say I, I'll go, I'll fucking go to the gala, man.
• 1:01:25
  Begonia: If you wanna invite me to the gala.
• 1:01:27
  Glen Erickson: well, you would, you would probably be the best, coolest, dressed person there for sure.
• 1:01:31
  Glen Erickson: They need you at the gala, is
• 1:01:33
  Begonia: I had a lot of fun actually.
• 1:01:35
  Begonia: Like last Junos I went to in Halifax, I was kind of like, oh fuck, I don't wanna be here.
• 1:01:44
  Begonia: I'm nervous.
• 1:01:44
  Begonia: And then I went there and I had actually so much fun with other artists.
• 1:01:49
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:01:49
  Begonia: with other artists com, commiserating with other artists and being like,'cause you, you, you think, you know how other people feel because everyone online obviously wants to put out their best face.
• 1:01:58
  Begonia: So you think, oh, that person's obviously so thrilled about life right now, and then I'm getting my hair done next to this person and we commiserate about the shit and I'm like, oh, I feel so much better.
• 1:02:07
  Begonia: It was just so many moments like that that, uh, we didn't win, but I had so much fun.
• 1:02:13
  Begonia: I, and, and that is not always something for me at industry events like that.
• 1:02:17
  Begonia: Uh, not always my thing to be like, I may seem more like a schmoozer than I actually am, but like, but I had so much fun.
• 1:02:24
  Begonia: So like I, Hey, I'm happy to be at the table.
• 1:02:27
  Begonia: I don't have to win.
• 1:02:28
  Begonia: Like I, but if, if I did, I would be thrilled.
• 1:02:32
  Begonia: But I don't have to to have a good time.
• 1:02:35
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:02:35
  Glen Erickson: I guess what I'm wondering is, and you, maybe you alluded to this already, I should say that like about, you were talking about getting across and, and.
• 1:02:45
  Glen Erickson: You know, the places you'd like to go and the sizes of rooms you'd love to be able to connect with that would make you sort of feel,'cause we keep having this and this is what I find interesting and it's kind of the nature, by the way, of my podcast, of this, just the way I named it.
• 1:02:59
  Glen Erickson: Just this concept about like, it's different for everybody.
• 1:03:02
  Glen Erickson: What does it mean to actually arrive
• 1:03:05
  Begonia: Mm-hmm.
• 1:03:05
  Glen Erickson: that you, we end up having those narratives in our head that maybe go all the way back to the beginning of when we were listening to so and so on much music and about what that looks like and what it means that still creep in even though you've been doing the business for so long and you know better.
• 1:03:23
  Glen Erickson: But you've gone through some cycles of this and you've got this new record out and great things are being said.
• 1:03:29
  Glen Erickson: And I'm wondering what you feel like if you and I were to talk in a year.
• 1:03:37
  Glen Erickson: What would you hope to say was the thing that made you feel like, yeah, like this is exactly what I needed this album and this cycle of my life to be?
• 1:03:47
  Begonia: Oh, I think just like fulfilling tours.
• 1:03:50
  Begonia: I, I'm very excited for this brothers land or tour.
• 1:03:54
  Begonia: I feel like that will fill my cup in a huge way.
• 1:03:57
  Begonia: Uh, just being exposed to new fans, like I just want.
• 1:04:01
  Begonia: To play in front of more people.
• 1:04:03
  Begonia: Like, that's, that's what I want and I wanna be able to create music with more people.
• 1:04:10
  Begonia: Like, I just wanna be, I wanna be out there more.
• 1:04:12
  Begonia: Like that is something I desire.
• 1:04:14
  Begonia: Like I love my Winnipeg home life, and I, I love that I have this place to come back to, but I'm not retiring.
• 1:04:20
  Begonia: Like I'm, I, I wanna be out there.
• 1:04:22
  Begonia: Like, I, I, I have a lot more to give.
• 1:04:25
  Begonia: And I feel like in a year from now, I would love to say that I'm still like, that it's, the album is not sunsetted in a year from now, I'm still promoting this album.
• 1:04:33
  Begonia: Like I'm still, I put so much work into this.
• 1:04:37
  Begonia: Like I, and I feel like also things are changing where you can kind of make shit what you want.
• 1:04:41
  Begonia: And I'm not trying to fit into certain parts of the industry that maybe I thought I had to before.
• 1:04:47
  Begonia: I'm just, it, it's just not
• 1:04:49
  Glen Erickson: Hmm.
• 1:04:49
  Begonia: where I'm gonna be.
• 1:04:51
  Begonia: So I just wanna do things my own way and I, and I hope.
• 1:04:54
  Begonia: That I can just continue to do that.
• 1:04:56
  Begonia: So in a year from now, I would hope to say like, oh my gosh, I played some of my favorite festivals this summer.
• 1:05:01
  Begonia: I had an amazing time with my band, and we're tight as ever.
• 1:05:06
  Begonia: And like people are responding well to the record and, and I played a tiny desk and everything's great.
• 1:05:14
  Glen Erickson: That would be cool.
• 1:05:15
  Glen Erickson: That'd be
• 1:05:16
  Begonia: That would be fucking cool.
• 1:05:17
  Begonia: That would be a, that would be fucking cool.
• 1:05:19
  Glen Erickson: Well, I don't think anybody's suspecting you of retiring, by the way I like at all.
• 1:05:23
  Glen Erickson: I don't see any retirement anywhere
• 1:05:25
  Begonia: me either.
• 1:05:26
  Begonia: Me either.
• 1:05:26
  Glen Erickson: unless, unless you've had enough of this shit,
• 1:05:29
  Begonia: No.
• 1:05:29
  Begonia: They'll have to drag me out.
• 1:05:31
  Glen Erickson: Well, you've been really generous with your time.
• 1:05:33
  Glen Erickson: Um, I wanna wrap it up by just, I wanna throw at you some of your comments on this new record, which I loved reading, and like I said, like reading your YouTube comments and some of the online comments are, I mean, it's soul sucking.
• 1:05:49
  Glen Erickson: We all know it.
• 1:05:50
  Glen Erickson: And yet I found joy in reading a bunch of yours.
• 1:05:52
  Glen Erickson: So these must be validating for you because, artists are absolute validation junkies.
• 1:05:59
  Glen Erickson: We all know it.
• 1:05:59
  Glen Erickson: So, I mean, the fact that people said this album came to my life in the best fucking moment, that feels just really nice and raw.
• 1:06:08
  Glen Erickson: That's gotta feel really good.
• 1:06:10
  Glen Erickson: Or, or saying thank you for existing and creating this music was a comment I read, you know, where you know that
• 1:06:17
  Begonia: been so nice.
• 1:06:19
  Glen Erickson: you became a part of somebody's.
• 1:06:22
  Glen Erickson: Life probably for them to make that statement, right?
• 1:06:24
  Glen Erickson: The taking your music with you or you wouldn't say it that way, which is pretty great.
• 1:06:29
  Glen Erickson: I'm wondering how you feel about these two type of comments, which I always find funny.
• 1:06:34
  Glen Erickson: when people say, this is freaking excellent, you're gonna make it big.
• 1:06:37
  Glen Erickson: I'm so glad you popped into my feed last month.
• 1:06:39
  Glen Erickson: And they say, you know, these artists you find before they majorly blow up and you feel a sense of pride for being there before Begonia is one of those artists, she one those artists has the talent to be a big name in the music one day.
• 1:06:51
  Glen Erickson: So I'll happily be able to say, I watched it when it happened.
• 1:06:54
  Glen Erickson: You know, those are the, the backhand compliment
• 1:06:57
  Begonia: I know.
• 1:06:58
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 1:06:58
  Glen Erickson: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:06:59
  Glen Erickson: It's like
• 1:07:00
  Begonia: I know.
• 1:07:01
  Begonia: And I'm like,
• 1:07:01
  Glen Erickson: when you're big pagon
• 1:07:04
  Begonia: No pressure or
• 1:07:05
  Glen Erickson: awesome.
• 1:07:06
  Begonia: So you're still gonna feel cool about this though, if I say exactly the same, right?
• 1:07:10
  Begonia: Like if I'm exactly at the same level, because I have to be cool with that.
• 1:07:14
  Begonia: So I hope, I hope they're cool with
• 1:07:15
  Glen Erickson: and I'm, I don't wanna take away they're being.
• 1:07:18
  Begonia: Oh, literally.
• 1:07:19
  Glen Erickson: A hundred percent sincere and
• 1:07:21
  Begonia: So kind.
• 1:07:21
  Begonia: And I've had like the uh, yeah.
• 1:07:24
  Begonia: People sometimes also just like wanna say something and don't always know exactly what to say.
• 1:07:29
  Begonia: So then.
• 1:07:30
  Begonia: But I read that as kindness.
• 1:07:32
  Begonia: I read that as if I am being like the shadow version of myself, as my therapist would say, then I would read that Think you think.
• 1:07:41
  Begonia: Then I would read that as like, well, I guess I'm never gonna fucking make it.
• 1:07:43
  Begonia: I'm disappointing everyone, but that's not how I decide to read that.
• 1:07:48
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:07:48
  Glen Erickson: That's
• 1:07:48
  Begonia: have, I have had trolls in my life, but all of the, almost all of the YouTube comments that I've gotten on the videos that I've been posting have been so overwhelmingly kind, surprised, like I'm surprised because I'm, it hits some algorithm where people are just happy to be nice and I'm like, oh,
• 1:08:11
  Glen Erickson: Well, I found the best one.
• 1:08:12
  Glen Erickson: I found the absolute best comment.
• 1:08:14
  Glen Erickson: I.
• 1:08:15
  Begonia: Okay.
• 1:08:16
  Glen Erickson: Thank you for everyone who supports my auntie.
• 1:08:18
  Glen Erickson: This is my auntie and I love her.
• 1:08:22
  Begonia: Oh my gosh.
• 1:08:23
  Begonia: My niece FaceTimes me when that, when she put that comment out and it started getting likes, she would FaceTime me every night and be like, auntie Alexa, there's, there's 400 likes on my comment.
• 1:08:33
  Begonia: Like she was flipping the fuck out.
• 1:08:36
  Begonia: 'cause she sends me videos as if I'm her YouTube audience.
• 1:08:39
  Begonia: 'cause her mom doesn't let her have her own YouTube channel, which I think is very good for her at this point in her life.
• 1:08:45
  Begonia: So she'll be like, Hey guys, she's doing a makeup tutorial.
• 1:08:46
  Begonia: Like she'll send me shit.
• 1:08:48
  Begonia: So now that this is on public YouTube, she's like freaking the fuck out
• 1:08:53
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:08:53
  Begonia: and I love it.
• 1:08:54
  Glen Erickson: so fun.
• 1:08:55
  Glen Erickson: That's so fun.
• 1:08:56
  Glen Erickson: Um.
• 1:08:57
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, that's adorable.
• 1:08:59
  Glen Erickson: That's like the best comment I read out of all of them.
• 1:09:01
  Glen Erickson: but it is a lot of fun.
• 1:09:02
  Glen Erickson: I love the fact that you own the stylistic part of your career and now to find out that that's a endeavor with your partner, which
• 1:09:11
  Begonia: Yeah.
• 1:09:11
  Glen Erickson: more cool.
• 1:09:13
  Glen Erickson: I think I love just when I see people owning every part of their career and their persona.
• 1:09:20
  Glen Erickson: 'cause we end up building one and you obviously made that kind of choice early, which is, just followed a really cool trajectory.
• 1:09:27
  Glen Erickson: And I love the new record.
• 1:09:28
  Glen Erickson: I've already told you that a whole bunch of times, but, I'm really curious to see like what happens more with it.
• 1:09:34
  Glen Erickson: I hope I hear more of it on my local station and um, and now I know that I need to like, put this shirt away and kind of preserve it if it's a, a one of a
• 1:09:45
  Begonia: that shirt.
• 1:09:46
  Begonia: It is one of a kind.
• 1:09:47
  Begonia: I love it.
• 1:09:48
  Glen Erickson: I don't even wear white shirts.
• 1:09:49
  Glen Erickson: I have two and this is one of.
• 1:09:51
  Glen Erickson: This is it.
• 1:09:52
  Glen Erickson: So, uh, it's pretty great.
• 1:09:55
  Glen Erickson: But, I really appreciate your time paia, and, and coming in and talking just about your career and how you got to where you are and, and talking about the album and, can't wait to promote it and push it and see all the good things that for you and hopefully catch a show on the other side of your European tour.
• 1:10:13
  Glen Erickson: So,
• 1:10:13
  Begonia: literally, and in a year from now we'll talk and see what happens.
• 1:10:16
  Begonia: See what has happened.
• 1:10:18
  Glen Erickson: I would love it.
• 1:10:19
  Glen Erickson: I appreciate you all the
• 1:10:21
  Begonia: you.
• 1:10:21
  Begonia: Appreciate you too.
• 1:10:22
  Begonia: Thank you.
• 1:10:22
  Begonia: for your thoughtfulness.
• 1:10:24
  Begonia: Bye.
• 1:10:32
  Alexi: It's already started.
• 1:10:33
  Glen Erickson: It's already started.
• 1:10:35
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 1:10:36
  Glen Erickson: I feel a little something in my nose, so I'm gonna, you sound like, like a little something in your nose.
• 1:10:40
  Glen Erickson: I know.
• 1:10:40
  Glen Erickson: So I'm gonna try to bring the energy so it's not so bad.
• 1:10:44
  Alexi: That was me last week.
• 1:10:45
  Alexi: This light is
• 1:10:46
  Glen Erickson: okay.
• 1:10:47
  Glen Erickson: Not, not about the light again.
• 1:10:48
  Alexi: Okay.
• 1:10:48
  Alexi: Sorry.
• 1:10:49
  Alexi: No, it's, let's just,
• 1:10:49
  Glen Erickson: no, we'll just move on from the light.
• 1:10:52
  Glen Erickson: Hi.
• 1:10:52
  Alexi: Hi.
• 1:10:53
  Glen Erickson: your energy sounds lower than mine.
• 1:10:56
  Alexi: Okay.
• 1:10:56
  Alexi: What's
• 1:10:56
  Glen Erickson: the problem?
• 1:10:57
  Alexi: None.
• 1:10:59
  Glen Erickson: You are usually the one that brings the pizazz to post fame.
• 1:11:01
  Alexi: That's'cause I'm awesome.
• 1:11:03
  Alexi: Um, I'm in final season now, officially as of today.
• 1:11:07
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:11:07
  Alexi: So you know what?
• 1:11:09
  Alexi: Allow it.
• 1:11:10
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 1:11:11
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:11:11
  Glen Erickson: I'll allow it.
• 1:11:12
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:11:13
  Glen Erickson: okay.
• 1:11:14
  Glen Erickson: So.
• 1:11:15
  Glen Erickson: This, um, did you, did you make notes?
• 1:11:19
  Alexi: I thought you were gonna say, did you listen?
• 1:11:21
  Alexi: I was like, no, no, I did listen.
• 1:11:23
  Alexi: Would
• 1:11:23
  Glen Erickson: that be offensive if I,
• 1:11:24
  Alexi: yeah.
• 1:11:24
  Alexi: I would be a little bit hurt.
• 1:11:25
  Alexi: Okay.
• 1:11:26
  Alexi: Um, I actually, you know what?
• 1:11:27
  Alexi: That's funny because I was thinking about the episode today and I was like, you never ask if five notes I was bringing up and I don't for the first time.
• 1:11:35
  Alexi: And I was like, yeah, he doesn't ask.
• 1:11:38
  Glen Erickson: I asked And you don't have notes, is what you're telling me?
• 1:11:40
  Glen Erickson: Don't
• 1:11:40
  Alexi: have.
• 1:11:40
  Alexi: Well, listen, no, I have mental notes.
• 1:11:42
  Alexi: I just don't have like my usual Oh.
• 1:11:44
  Alexi: notes I have, so we have unre,
• 1:11:46
  Glen Erickson: we have unreliable reference notes is what you're saying.
• 1:11:49
  Alexi: I just didn't quote this time, but I have one big mental note.
• 1:11:52
  Alexi: It's one bullet point.
• 1:11:54
  Alexi: It's
• 1:11:55
  Glen Erickson: okay.
• 1:11:56
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:11:57
  Alexi: Okay.
• 1:11:57
  Alexi: Do you wanna hear it or do you have something to say first?
• 1:12:00
  Glen Erickson: Uh, I don't have something to say about that right off the bat.
• 1:12:05
  Glen Erickson: I was just thinking about some of the things I was gonna say afterwards.
• 1:12:08
  Glen Erickson: But,
• 1:12:09
  Alexi: yeah.
• 1:12:09
  Glen Erickson: So
• 1:12:10
  Alexi: well, first of all, love this, love, love this episode.
• 1:12:14
  Glen Erickson: You did.
• 1:12:14
  Glen Erickson: I
• 1:12:14
  Alexi: did.
• 1:12:15
  Alexi: And you know what?
• 1:12:16
  Alexi: I'm always not skeptical, that's not the right word, but I just don't have like.
• 1:12:21
  Alexi: Expectations.
• 1:12:22
  Alexi: You don't expect to love it.
• 1:12:23
  Alexi: No, no, no, no, no.
• 1:12:24
  Alexi: Lemme rephrase this.
• 1:12:25
  Alexi: No, no, no.
• 1:12:26
  Alexi: Lemme rephrase this.
• 1:12:27
  Alexi: When it's someone I already know, get out of here.
• 1:12:31
  Alexi: When it's someone I already know, I go in with good expectations because I know them.
• 1:12:36
  Alexi: When it's not somebody I know, I don't go in with good expectations.
• 1:12:40
  Alexi: Not to say I don't go.
• 1:12:41
  Glen Erickson: You mean you just go in with No, I just go in.
• 1:12:43
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:12:44
  Glen Erickson: Like impartial.
• 1:12:45
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:12:45
  Alexi: And so I went impartial and you know, I never know how that's gonna go, but.
• 1:12:50
  Alexi: I quite liked it.
• 1:12:52
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:12:53
  Glen Erickson: You weren't familiar with Begonia beforehand, correct?
• 1:12:55
  Glen Erickson: No.
• 1:12:55
  Glen Erickson: At all.
• 1:12:56
  Alexi: And that's my thing.
• 1:12:56
  Alexi: Usually the people you have, if I'm not, it was like, if I don't know them on like some kind of a personal level through you, I've usually heard about them.
• 1:13:04
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:13:05
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 1:13:05
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:13:07
  Alexi: Hadn't
• 1:13:08
  Glen Erickson: hadn't
• 1:13:08
  Alexi: but love.
• 1:13:11
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, I thought, um,
• 1:13:13
  Alexi: and she speaks so well.
• 1:13:15
  Alexi: Like she really does.
• 1:13:15
  Alexi: I was listening like to it and I was like.
• 1:13:19
  Alexi: I forgot it was like your podcast for a second when I was listening to it on the train.
• 1:13:23
  Alexi: 'cause she just has a way of speaking that, first of all, her voice sounds lovely.
• 1:13:27
  Alexi: Like her speaking voice.
• 1:13:28
  Alexi: Yes.
• 1:13:28
  Alexi: Like what a gift.
• 1:13:30
  Alexi: But the way she speaks, I'm like, I could listen to her talk about nonsense and I would be content.
• 1:13:37
  Alexi: She should have a
• 1:13:38
  Glen Erickson: podcast.
• 1:13:39
  Glen Erickson: What you
• 1:13:39
  Alexi: say?
• 1:13:39
  Alexi: She should have a podcast.
• 1:13:40
  Alexi: This is true.
• 1:13:41
  Glen Erickson: Maybe, maybe she'll consider it.
• 1:13:43
  Glen Erickson: You know what, my, one of my favorite parts was.
• 1:13:47
  Alexi: Hmm.
• 1:13:47
  Glen Erickson: Near the end when she, when we were joking around about something and she's like, well, then I'll just come back in a year and we'll circle back to it.
• 1:13:55
  Glen Erickson: And I'm like, that's the first guest who is like,
• 1:13:57
  Alexi: let me back on, I'll, I'll
• 1:13:58
  Glen Erickson: come back on and be a guest again.
• 1:14:00
  Glen Erickson: Or something like that.
• 1:14:01
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:14:01
  Glen Erickson: And I don't know why.
• 1:14:02
  Glen Erickson: It just kinda like.
• 1:14:03
  Glen Erickson: Tickled me being there like, yeah.
• 1:14:05
  Glen Erickson: I was like, that's kind of a nice thing.
• 1:14:07
  Glen Erickson: Um, she was extremely pleasant.
• 1:14:09
  Glen Erickson: Yes.
• 1:14:09
  Glen Erickson: And, which is awesome because, obviously I've seen her play, like I've seen her live of Yeah.
• 1:14:15
  Glen Erickson: Like listen to her music on and off.
• 1:14:17
  Glen Erickson: the, yeah, there's just, I'm trying to think of what the way I wanna put this, but there's this certain, I, I guess I was feeling.
• 1:14:25
  Glen Erickson: There hasn't been many of these where I go into it feeling like an actual, like interviewer in the media.
• 1:14:32
  Glen Erickson: Mm-hmm.
• 1:14:32
  Glen Erickson: Like I'm preparing for somebody that I haven't met or have any familiarity.
• 1:14:37
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 1:14:37
  Glen Erickson: Or background.
• 1:14:39
  Glen Erickson: And they're used to doing these things in a, in a publicity cycle and media.
• 1:14:43
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:14:43
  Glen Erickson: Very media trained way.
• 1:14:44
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:14:44
  Glen Erickson: Media trained way.
• 1:14:46
  Glen Erickson: And you know.
• 1:14:48
  Glen Erickson: So, and I arranged all this through, like Ken, my old publisher
• 1:14:52
  Alexi: mm-hmm.
• 1:14:52
  Glen Erickson: Publicist story.
• 1:14:53
  Glen Erickson: so I, anyhow, those things were in my head.
• 1:14:56
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:14:56
  Glen Erickson: A little bit.
• 1:14:57
  Glen Erickson: And then as soon as we start talking, I just know that I did the thing that I always do, which is try to be a bit disarming for people, right?
• 1:15:06
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:15:06
  Glen Erickson: So they'll feel like they, so they'll lose maybe some of that pretense of like, media train.
• 1:15:12
  Glen Erickson: and I could just tell right away like she was like looking for that.
• 1:15:15
  Glen Erickson: Two, to just be able to talk.
• 1:15:17
  Glen Erickson: Oh, the other part that I really love then related to that is when she was talking about kinda where she is at personally.
• 1:15:25
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:15:25
  Glen Erickson: And how she said she had ab, she was looking forward to doing the podcast'cause she wanted to talk about music and just not think about the, and how she
• 1:15:33
  Alexi: was in a funk a little bit.
• 1:15:35
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:15:35
  Alexi: The business
• 1:15:35
  Glen Erickson: and the blah blah, blah of it all.
• 1:15:37
  Glen Erickson: And just wanted to like feel inspired again by talking about what she loves about music and stuff.
• 1:15:41
  Glen Erickson: So I was like, you know, I was.
• 1:15:44
  Glen Erickson: You know, I guess right off the bat, in my mind I'm like, oh, I'm, I really hope that it does that for her.
• 1:15:50
  Glen Erickson: Right.
• 1:15:50
  Glen Erickson: Because that would be really awesome.
• 1:15:51
  Glen Erickson: Also, the first time
• 1:15:52
  Alexi: someone's been like, Hey, I've been really excited about this.
• 1:15:55
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:15:55
  Glen Erickson: For a reason.
• 1:15:56
  Glen Erickson: That's not like, Hey, you're an old
• 1:15:58
  Alexi: friend.
• 1:15:58
  Alexi: Like, I've been excited, like it like, well let's be
• 1:16:00
  Glen Erickson: honest.
• 1:16:00
  Glen Erickson: It's like, Hey, I even thought about this.
• 1:16:03
  Glen Erickson: You know, prior to 20 minutes jumping on.
• 1:16:04
  Glen Erickson: Before jumping, like, I realized I had to jump on.
• 1:16:07
  Glen Erickson: No, I mean, that's a little self-deprecating, but I.
• 1:16:10
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, it was just, it was nice.
• 1:16:11
  Glen Erickson: She, I like what you said.
• 1:16:13
  Glen Erickson: I enjoyed, she had a really nice voice, a really great demeanor.
• 1:16:18
  Glen Erickson: Mm-hmm.
• 1:16:19
  Glen Erickson: And personality, obviously that made it really easy and it made it like just a fun conversation.
• 1:16:27
  Alexi: Fun listen and
• 1:16:28
  Glen Erickson: felt like the kind of thing that maybe I've always, I always hoped for, which is like, would that be what it feel like if like.
• 1:16:36
  Glen Erickson: Her and I went to meet at, yeah, the pub over a drink and then like just dig in and find out some, each other's background right?
• 1:16:44
  Glen Erickson: Or that kind of a feel.
• 1:16:45
  Glen Erickson: Anyhow, those kinds of things feel good.
• 1:16:47
  Glen Erickson: I felt like I liked so many of the things that she had to just say about her career and the things that she learned and, you know, I always, the interest of.
• 1:16:56
  Glen Erickson: It to me is the same thing.
• 1:16:58
  Glen Erickson: I assume a lot of people who listen will be is that even if they knew who she was a little.
• 1:17:04
  Glen Erickson: Mm-hmm.
• 1:17:05
  Glen Erickson: Or none, there's a sense going in like this person's relatively new, right?
• 1:17:11
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:17:11
  Glen Erickson: Like,'cause they obviously haven't hit the big, big mainstream, but then you find out like, they've been doing this, you know, since 2005 or six or something like right outta high school.
• 1:17:25
  Glen Erickson: So they've been doing it their whole life.
• 1:17:28
  Glen Erickson: So it's kind of cool.
• 1:17:29
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:17:30
  Alexi: Do I hear my point?
• 1:17:30
  Alexi: 'cause it ties in really nice.
• 1:17:35
  Glen Erickson: I need to be able to edit that.
• 1:17:36
  Glen Erickson: Yes.
• 1:17:37
  Alexi: yeah, no, I think it ties in really nice.
• 1:17:39
  Alexi: 'cause I think, so my note was, and I'll
• 1:17:42
  Glen Erickson: mental note.
• 1:17:43
  Alexi: My mental note.
• 1:17:43
  Alexi: Okay.
• 1:17:44
  Alexi: Um.
• 1:17:45
  Alexi: Was, and I'll have to censor this because like I censor, well, listen, I'm gonna
• 1:17:49
  Glen Erickson: have to edit it.
• 1:17:50
  Alexi: No, I'll just not say the word.
• 1:17:52
  Alexi: I'm
• 1:17:52
  Glen Erickson: your dad.
• 1:17:52
  Glen Erickson: Don't say these five words.
• 1:17:53
  Glen Erickson: That's what I'm say that like,
• 1:17:54
  Alexi: it has the F word and I've never said that to you.
• 1:17:56
  Alexi: Why
• 1:17:56
  Glen Erickson: would you do that?
• 1:17:57
  Alexi: Listen, because I'm just a girl, but I love her.
• 1:18:00
  Alexi: Like I don't give a bleep energy.
• 1:18:03
  Alexi: Just like, and like way about herself of like the, she just like openly was like, yeah, I'm not like trying to be perfect for anyone.
• 1:18:10
  Alexi: Like I'm not striving for perfection.
• 1:18:12
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:18:13
  Alexi: But it's like, some people say that and then the way they like curate themselves and carry themselves in person and online, it's like, well, you say that, but like, I think, you know, you're still getting influenced in, you know, like people say,
• 1:18:25
  Glen Erickson: people say it, but they It's because they want to be perceived that way.
• 1:18:29
  Glen Erickson: Yes.
• 1:18:29
  Glen Erickson: Which ironically is the antithesis of what they're saying.
• 1:18:32
  Glen Erickson: Exactly.
• 1:18:32
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:18:33
  Glen Erickson: But
• 1:18:33
  Alexi: it was.
• 1:18:34
  Alexi: I, I think it's a very rare thing, but she was like, I don't give an F.
• 1:18:39
  Alexi: Like I'm not trying to be perfect.
• 1:18:41
  Glen Erickson: And you already knew that before she said it.
• 1:18:42
  Glen Erickson: You already
• 1:18:42
  Alexi: knew that before she said it.
• 1:18:43
  Alexi: And when she was like, I'm not trying to be perfect.
• 1:18:46
  Alexi: Like, I'm just like, you know, basically really enjoying what she's doing and trying to Yep.
• 1:18:50
  Alexi: You know, do things that she loves and feels good in and about.
• 1:18:54
  Alexi: And I'm like, I think like it's, yeah, it's unsaid.
• 1:18:57
  Alexi: Like, and the way she speaks and carries herself and I think that's why she.
• 1:19:01
  Alexi: Speaks so well, and her energy's just like so delightful.
• 1:19:05
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:19:05
  Alexi: because her mind isn't being occupied by trying to come off in this like, perfect or Yeah.
• 1:19:11
  Alexi: Whatever you wanna call it way.
• 1:19:12
  Alexi: And I'm like, there's something so like admirable about that and also just like, like you just have to respect it.
• 1:19:20
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:19:20
  Alexi: Especially like being a woman in the industry.
• 1:19:23
  Alexi: Like you don't hear that often and I'm like, you know, it's refreshing to hear it and feel it.
• 1:19:29
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:19:29
  Glen Erickson: That's cool.
• 1:19:30
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:19:31
  Glen Erickson: I also liked because she's so creative and her like videos are flamboyant.
• 1:19:36
  Glen Erickson: Mm.
• 1:19:36
  Glen Erickson: And some of them are really, really well thought out and executed.
• 1:19:41
  Glen Erickson: And her just, her persona that she adopts that goes with like her like fashion style that she chooses, which kind of morphs album to album and all of that is like self.
• 1:19:57
  Glen Erickson: Conceived and self-developed.
• 1:19:59
  Glen Erickson: Like she said, her and her partner are basically the ones who put all that stuff together.
• 1:20:03
  Glen Erickson: Mm-hmm.
• 1:20:04
  Glen Erickson: I just love that sort of indie ownership still.
• 1:20:08
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:20:08
  Glen Erickson: Do you know what I mean?
• 1:20:08
  Glen Erickson: Like a lot of people give that away.
• 1:20:11
  Glen Erickson: Like we interviewed Shayla and she's the same way, right?
• 1:20:13
  Glen Erickson: Mm-hmm.
• 1:20:14
  Glen Erickson: She puts this real effort into like her outfits and that she thinks it's, you know, super awesome.
• 1:20:21
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, and I love that when people really kind of.
• 1:20:25
  Alexi: Care.
• 1:20:26
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, care and more about just the music, but recognizing that, you know, this whole thing is bigger than just whether or not, you know, it's some good songs or not.
• 1:20:36
  Glen Erickson: They just wanna be the whole package, so.
• 1:20:39
  Alexi: Mm-hmm.
• 1:20:39
  Glen Erickson: I love it.
• 1:20:40
  Glen Erickson: I love it.
• 1:20:41
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:20:42
  Glen Erickson: Yep.
• 1:20:44
  Alexi: Me too, actually, on the topic of indie ownership, do you wanna hear something a very quick cool thing?
• 1:20:48
  Glen Erickson: Okay,
• 1:20:49
  Alexi: so Mac DeMarco, his concerts in a couple weeks now.
• 1:20:52
  Glen Erickson: Edmonton boy, Edmonton born boy, okay.
• 1:20:54
  Alexi: Edmonton show.
• 1:20:55
  Alexi: Anyways, he, his whole thing is kind of like little indie ownership, right?
• 1:21:00
  Alexi: Like, he has had so many offers for like producers and like all of that on labels.
• 1:21:05
  Alexi: Like everything.
• 1:21:06
  Alexi: He's still very, just like, he does everything himself, right?
• 1:21:09
  Alexi: Mm-hmm.
• 1:21:10
  Alexi: Like he.
• 1:21:11
  Alexi: Through like producing music has kind of created his own like label in a sense.
• 1:21:14
  Alexi: Like he just, he makes everything himself, produces it himself, publishes it himself.
• 1:21:18
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:21:18
  Alexi: Everything.
• 1:21:19
  Alexi: Anyways.
• 1:21:20
  Alexi: But because of that, he has total control and artistic freedom.
• 1:21:25
  Alexi: And he has been on tour, hence why he is coming in a few weeks.
• 1:21:29
  Alexi: And when he was in Europe, he just like was giving out CDs to the audience and they were just called like unlabeled album.
• 1:21:36
  Alexi: And it's the album he is putting out.
• 1:21:38
  Alexi: Oh really soon.
• 1:21:39
  Alexi: And he just didn't label it.
• 1:21:41
  Alexi: Didn't label the songs, just like put all of the songs, but no vocals, just all of the songs played in a row on a CD and just gave it out unlabeled during his thing.
• 1:21:50
  Alexi: And then like, spoke about it like way later in an interview, but just like for fun and did the article artwork on it.
• 1:21:56
  Alexi: Like, and I'm like, I love that.
• 1:21:57
  Alexi: Like that's indie ownership to me, to that extreme.
• 1:22:00
  Glen Erickson: That's very in, that's very indie for sure.
• 1:22:03
  Glen Erickson: I liked, um.
• 1:22:04
  Glen Erickson: Like even similarly, last week when we were talking to Tyson and he was talking about the kids these days, like putting on the shows and he said like a lot of them are like making cassettes and making Yeah things and making stuff that isn't, doesn't have to be on Spotify.
• 1:22:21
  Glen Erickson: Right?
• 1:22:22
  Glen Erickson: It's like, yeah, that, that they just circulate around where they play and just kind of build that.
• 1:22:28
  Glen Erickson: Anyhow, like yeah, I love that.
• 1:22:29
  Glen Erickson: That still finds its way out.
• 1:22:31
  Glen Erickson: And then.
• 1:22:32
  Glen Erickson: You know, indie has got is indie is essentially like a mainstream category.
• 1:22:39
  Alexi: Mm-hmm.
• 1:22:39
  Glen Erickson: It feels like most of the time, except when you encounter things.
• 1:22:43
  Glen Erickson: What we're talking about now that actually truly are the concept of like, I'll do it my own way.
• 1:22:48
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:22:48
  Glen Erickson: And I'll do it myself.
• 1:22:50
  Glen Erickson: I guess that's a DIY, but that's just kind of bleeds over into the whole thing, which I like.
• 1:22:55
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:22:55
  Glen Erickson: Which is what I've always been attracted to in the business
• 1:22:58
  Alexi: I haven't been doing.
• 1:22:59
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:22:59
  Glen Erickson: Well fun for you to go to Mac de Marco.
• 1:23:02
  Glen Erickson: Well, maybe, hopefully.
• 1:23:03
  Glen Erickson: I know.
• 1:23:04
  Glen Erickson: I don't know why you're doing this.
• 1:23:05
  Glen Erickson: We keep talking.
• 1:23:06
  Glen Erickson: Don't flip flop.
• 1:23:07
  Glen Erickson: I won't stop.
• 1:23:07
  Glen Erickson: Flip.
• 1:23:07
  Glen Erickson: I'm going.
• 1:23:08
  Glen Erickson: But I mean, that's a very important exam the next day.
• 1:23:10
  Glen Erickson: I know, but, um,
• 1:23:11
  Alexi: 40%.
• 1:23:13
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:23:13
  Glen Erickson: So.
• 1:23:15
  Glen Erickson: Uh, I think, I can't remember right now.
• 1:23:17
  Glen Erickson: I think it was episode two, maybe three.
• 1:23:19
  Glen Erickson: Hotel Mira.
• 1:23:20
  Alexi: Mm-hmm.
• 1:23:21
  Glen Erickson: There on tour.
• 1:23:22
  Glen Erickson: We had talked about it way back when.
• 1:23:24
  Glen Erickson: I, yes.
• 1:23:24
  Glen Erickson: Recorded with him in July.
• 1:23:26
  Glen Erickson: We released it in August.
• 1:23:28
  Glen Erickson: and he talked about when he was going to come back around through Canada after all this touring.
• 1:23:33
  Glen Erickson: And he wasn't really able to talk about it until right then because, right.
• 1:23:37
  Glen Erickson: Or he said when I release it, because after summer festival season, and so they're gonna be coming back through now in the next week on their Canadian leg.
• 1:23:47
  Glen Erickson: Oh.
• 1:23:47
  Glen Erickson: So I just think anybody who's listening in Canada should look for Hotel Mirror because they put on an incredible show.
• 1:23:53
  Glen Erickson: They're in Edmonton on December 11th.
• 1:23:56
  Glen Erickson: but I think people should look for that.
• 1:23:58
  Glen Erickson: Somebody who I hope to maybe get on the show in the future that we loved at.
• 1:24:02
  Glen Erickson: Folk fest Was Juliana Rio?
• 1:24:05
  Glen Erickson: Mm.
• 1:24:05
  Glen Erickson: She just came through Edmonton, but she's heading through on some tours, which will be awesome.
• 1:24:11
  Glen Erickson: People should check out another live show, which is kind of cool, is a band that was really big in the very early, like nineties.
• 1:24:21
  Glen Erickson: Indie breakout in Canada was a band called Pup, PUP, and they're out playing again and they're on this little tour.
• 1:24:29
  Glen Erickson: Oh, that's what
• 1:24:29
  Alexi: you're talking about?
• 1:24:30
  Alexi: Yes.
• 1:24:30
  Alexi: I think some
• 1:24:30
  Glen Erickson: people would think is.
• 1:24:32
  Glen Erickson: Pretty cool.
• 1:24:33
  Glen Erickson: So I thought I'd pitch that one out because live music is where it's at.
• 1:24:39
  Glen Erickson: I was reading a whole thing after Tyson, uh, last week episode.
• 1:24:44
  Glen Erickson: Last episode.
• 1:24:45
  Glen Erickson: Talked about like the AI stuff coming in.
• 1:24:48
  Glen Erickson: Mm-hmm.
• 1:24:48
  Glen Erickson: He was talking about it in his context, but I read a thing yesterday morning about like, Spotify signing deals with these AI music produ production houses.
• 1:25:02
  Glen Erickson: And um, one of the things people most concerned of is AI being able to, the way ai, like for example, the way AI works right now, right?
• 1:25:12
  Glen Erickson: Is it models itself after information that you've put out there?
• 1:25:15
  Glen Erickson: Yeah, in a sense it's stealing everything we've done to put together the information it needs to make a better and complete version, which we love'cause it's giving us complete answers and that's all we're using it for most of us.
• 1:25:29
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:25:29
  Glen Erickson: But it's basically training itself off of our content.
• 1:25:34
  Glen Erickson: And AI music makers are tr are gonna train itself off of all of our music that's out there on Spotify.
• 1:25:40
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:25:41
  Alexi: Not awesome.
• 1:25:41
  Glen Erickson: And to me I'm like, well, I'll still want to know if an artist is real and if they're gonna be on touring, can I go see them?
• 1:25:51
  Glen Erickson: So I think one way to, you know, screw that system and stay connected is to go to live shows and make that your.
• 1:25:59
  Glen Erickson: I kinda source.
• 1:26:01
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:26:01
  Glen Erickson: Anyhow, uh, I just was thinking about that and then I thought I'd share shows that I knew were, I like that happening going across Canada that people shouldn't really see.
• 1:26:09
  Glen Erickson: 'cause I think they're awesome.
• 1:26:10
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:26:12
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:26:12
  Glen Erickson: That's it.
• 1:26:12
  Glen Erickson: That's all.
• 1:26:13
  Alexi: We love that.
• 1:26:14
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:26:15
  Glen Erickson: anyhow, I'm really happy with the Begonia episode and that it worked out and, um, that was so awesome.
• 1:26:22
  Glen Erickson: I've been listening to a record a lot since Fantasy Life and.
• 1:26:28
  Glen Erickson: I love when that happens too, because I feel like I'm a bigger fan now.
• 1:26:32
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:26:32
  Glen Erickson: And I'm like playing her music at work for other people and the way it should happen.
• 1:26:36
  Glen Erickson: So
• 1:26:37
  Alexi: I just saw her in the CD story actually yesterday.
• 1:26:39
  Alexi: Did you?
• 1:26:39
  Alexi: Yeah, I bought a CD and I, it was in the B section and then I was looking around for it.
• 1:26:44
  Alexi: B for
• 1:26:44
  Glen Erickson: gon.
• 1:26:44
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:26:44
  Glen Erickson: Yeah.
• 1:26:45
  Alexi: I was like, oh my goodness.
• 1:26:46
  Alexi: Look who it is.
• 1:26:46
  Glen Erickson: I love it.
• 1:26:47
  Alexi: Yeah.
• 1:26:48
  Glen Erickson: Well what a perfect bow tie on posting.
• 1:26:52
  Glen Erickson: Thank you.
• 1:26:53
  Glen Erickson: See you next time.
• 1:26:54
  Glen Erickson: Okay.
• 1:26:54
  Glen Erickson: Bye.
• 1:26:54
  Glen Erickson: Bye.