Latest / Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel / True Confessions of a Sugar Baby

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True Confessions of a Sugar Baby · Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to Misunderstood, the podcast where we dive deep into
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: intriguing and thought-provoking topics. I'm your host, Rachel Yucatel, and
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: today's episode is going to be an eye-opening and fascinating one.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: We have a very special guest joining us, someone who
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: has chosen to share their unique perspective and experiences as
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: a sugar baby, but as an anonymous source. In this
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: captivating interview, we will explore the world of sugar dating,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: shedding light on the intricacies and complexities that often go unnoticed.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Our guests will take us on a journey through their
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: life as a sugar baby, sharing stories and insights that
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: challenge societal norms and preconceived notions. We'll delve into the
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: motivations behind becoming a sugar baby, the dynamics of sugar relationships,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: and the misconceptions that surround the lifestyle. Our guests will
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: provide us with an intimate look into the emotional and
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: practical aspects of being a sugar baby, discussing the balance
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: between companionship, financial assistance, and personal growth. Throughout this conversation,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: we aim to foster understanding and empathy, recognizing that everyone's
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: journey is unique. We'll explore the power dynamics at play
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: and the importance of consent, while also addressing the potential
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  Speaker 1: challenges and risks faced by those involved in the sugar
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  Speaker 1: dating world. Our goal is to create a safe space
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: for open dialogue and nuanced discussions By delving into the
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: experiences of our guest, we hope to challenge stereotypes and
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: encourage a more compassionate and informed perspective on this often
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: misunderstood aspect of modern relationships. So get ready to broaden
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: your understanding, challenge your assumptions, and engage in a conversation
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: that's as thought-provoking as it is empowering. Please enjoy today's
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: episode of Confessions of a Sugar Baby. I'm so excited
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: to welcome Christina. She is coming on today to talk
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: about sugar baby and sugar daddy relationships. She and I
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: have known each other for the last couple months, and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: this topic has been something that is taboo for a
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: lot of people. But first, we are going to start
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: by going way back and talking about your childhood and
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: how you got into this. And so first, I want
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: to talk to you about where you're from and the
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: beginning of time for you.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And I'm glad that we were introduced because I'm sitting
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: here with you today, which is a great honor. So
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: thank you guys for inviting me. So where did it
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: all start? It definitely started from my childhood. My mom
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: and I and my father and my brother lived in Atlanta, Georgia.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: And at that time, my mom wasn't happy.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: She didn't want to live in Atlanta.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: She wanted to live the California dream and live in
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: a luxury lifestyle in a wealthy neighborhood. Even though we
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: were supposedly going to live above our means, she wanted
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: that for us because she knew that that was safety
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: for my brother and I. And so when I was
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: 10 years old, we moved to California. During the dot-com boom,
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: my dad sort of won out a little bit enough
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: for us to live in a very wealthy neighborhood. And
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: were we the richest family on the block? No, but
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: we definitely, we lived the life of that town in
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: the East Bay. And I noticed that my mom had
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: given us a better life by financially living above our means.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: So at that point, that's when I realized finance equals money, safety, and.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Health, right?
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: And what was the relationship like between your parents?
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  Speaker 3: My dad and my mom got divorced when they moved
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: to California. She actually ended up significantly getting more money
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: than my father during the dot-com boom. However, my father
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: was able to move out and move into his own apartment.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: And even though my mom had full custody of me,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: I chose to live with my father. And I stood
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: up in court and I said, I want to live
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: with him. Because I wanted to learn about his infidelity.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: And I knew that there was some good to that.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: There was something that he was doing. Maybe my mom
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: wasn't in the right the whole time. And I wanted
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: to give him the benefit of the doubt. And so
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: by moving in with him, I understood the lifestyle. And
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: so my dad was, for lack of a better term,
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  Speaker 3: a sugar daddy. I mean, he dated girls that were
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: half his age. Most of them were from out of
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: country that he would like, you know, move into his
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: house with me. But I ultimately knew that my dad
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: was a sugar daddy.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: And how old were you when you were seeing all this?
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: 13.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: And to this day, I still think he is the
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: coolest person ever after that. Because those women were the
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: smartest women. They were so emotionally intelligent. Actually, they had
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: a lot of the qualities that I knew of my mother.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: They had a lot of the emotional intelligence, the caretaker,
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: the opinionated. These girls weren't, you know, the ones that
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: he chose to be long-term women.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, he had the short term.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: I saw them come and go in hours and never
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: come back again. But the ones that really stuck around
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: were really, really interesting women that reminded.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Me of my mom. And when did you have your
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: very first boyfriend?
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  Speaker 4: Right.
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  Speaker 3: So my first boyfriend was when I was 18. After
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: high school, I wasn't really a scholarly type, which is
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: why I went to fashion school. And during fashion school,
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: I found a minor league baseball player, which he was
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: a nice guy. He was the nicest guy. He was
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: a great looking guy. He was perfect on paper, hits
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  Speaker 3: all the marks. The one thing he never had was money.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: And so I knew I can't, I'll never be happy.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: Because I realized my love language is gift giving. And
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  Speaker 3: I wanted somebody like my father who lived lavishly, who,
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  Speaker 3: you know, that was what I knew. But more so, that's,
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: you know, I saw from my mom just the way
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: that life had changed.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: So wait, I love this. Your love language was gift giving.
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  Speaker 4: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: Meaning that you needed somebody to be giving you gifts
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: or giving you something.
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  Speaker 3: In order for me, my entire life, in order for me, and,
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: you know, people are going to say, well, this is because.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: this is some.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: Trauma that you've had from your father. It's like, okay,
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: so what? So do you. I want to know what
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: your love language is. And I can trace that back
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: to what your dad did to you.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: So you want to do that?
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: But ultimately, yes, my love language is gift giving. And
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: I've known that my whole life. And so in order
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: for me to feel fully happy and successful in a relationship,
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I need to have that aspect of it.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: So moving on to your next boyfriend, then who was it?
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: On my 21st birthday, I met a very famous guy.
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  Speaker 3: I had no idea what show he was a part of,
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: but he was very, very famous.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: And where are you living at the time? Just so
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: we get a picture.
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  Speaker 2: Still in the Bay Area.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Okay. But he would fly me to Vegas pretty much
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  Speaker 3: every weekend. And we were together for A good year
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  Speaker 3: and a half. That was a long-term one for me.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: And what did he do for a living?
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  Speaker 3: He's a TV show host of a very, very famous
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  Speaker 3: TV show. And I had a taste of that lifestyle.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, he was able to pay.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: For a lot of my bills.
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  Speaker 3: Whenever I hung out with him, we went to like
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: the finest Michelin-starred restaurants. His car was a black Matt Lambo.
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  Speaker 3: It felt like more aligned with what I wanted long-term.
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  Speaker 1: Now, did you feel... Any sense of love from this
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: man as well? Yeah.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: We had an amazing emotional connection. Actually, I just talked
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: to him like two nights ago. So you'll hear again
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: and again as we talk that the men that were
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: long-term for me have stayed in my life unless they
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: broke it in some horrific way where I don't want
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: to talk to them anymore and they're blocked.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: But ultimately.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: him and I are on good terms. And at that
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: time we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
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  Speaker 2: We were exclusive.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Now tell me how you actually got into, I mean,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: those are sort of young relationships.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was when I was 19.
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  Speaker 2: So that's much younger than I am now.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Right. So, and you can chalk that up to you
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: were young, you were, you know, sort of replacing your,
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: Okay, let's get started.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Are you first time buyers?
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's our first time.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: So it's your first time?
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: No, it's first time buying.
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: Did you say no for first time buying?
• 10:00
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• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Father figure for these men. Probably.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: So now talk to me a little bit more how
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: you got into the sugar baby, sugar daddy relationships.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: When did that start?
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: So after that, when I was dating that actor, I
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: decided to move to LA because I'm like, that was
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: the promised land. The land of everything that glamorous and perfect.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: And mostly.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: As I was driving here even today, I was thinking.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Did I choose L.A. because of L.A. or did I
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: choose L.A. because of the men? And I think I
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: chose L.A.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: Because of the men.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Wow. And you weren't coming here for a job or.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Anything else in particular?
• 11:01
  Speaker 6: I did.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: I did move here.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I was working on Rodeo Drive in retail and living
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: in Hollywood. And I was making a retail salary. And
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: it was cool because I went to fashion school and
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: everyone thinks, oh, pretty woman, you know. Okay, yeah, you're
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: making $ 9 an hour. Good luck.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Good luck living in LA. And was your dad giving
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: you any money?
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: My dad has never given me a dollar.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: My dad didn't give my mom alimony either.
• 11:25
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah. All right. So you were really on your own?
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I've always been on my own. I've paid for all
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: of my school on my own. That's 40 grand that.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I've paid off. From working? From sugaring.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: From sugaring.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: So we'll get to that. All right. So let's go on.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I mean, I guess both, but when I make money,
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: I usually on my own, I've spent it on like hair,
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: makeup and nails.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: But when I make money for men, I usually put
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: it toward investments like my school loans or cars or
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: mortgage or not mortgage payments, lease, you know, down payments
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: for a lease on an apartment.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Right.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, so let's go back to it.
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  Speaker 1: So you get to LA and how do you figure
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: out about the sugar baby life?
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I was working on Rodeo Drive and the
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: story is a beautiful Korean lady, well, not lady, she
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: was like a girl.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: She was like 25.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Beautiful, very tall, probably 5'8, walked in with a guy
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: with white hair. He was about 75. And he hands
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: over the American Express block card to her and then
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: gets on the phone and leaves the store.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Then the Korean.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Lady walks up and it was me and my coworker,
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: my gay best friend. I loved him to death. He
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: was 43. I was 21. So this is 10 years
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: ago that I'm going to give away my age. How
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: dare I?
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so I was 21 and my gay coworker.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: It was just a stunt that this had happened. And
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: she goes, I want every shoe in my size and
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: I want you to rip up the receipt in front
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: of me.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: And what did you say?
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Well, my gay best friend said, how the fuck did
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: you find that guy? And she was like, how did
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: you not know about the site? Because my gay best
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: friend said, he goes, this girl has had devastating relationships
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: since she got to L.A. and we need to help
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: her out. Can we get her whatever you're doing and
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: make sure that she's doing it right? And she said, oh,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: it's seekingarrangement.com.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: And you immediately go and write this down. No, I
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: was in horror. How dare you? I'm not doing that.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: That was my immediate response. Yeah, we had an elevator
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: up to the top floor. I literally remember getting in
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: the elevator like, I don't want to hear this conversation.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: I was disgusted almost.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: So that's how against it I was back then. And
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: why did you think it was not for you?
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Because I think that, you know, when my dad like
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: outright paid a woman, it was never the same as
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: it was for a long-term relationship.
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, because you saw that as being a hooker. Yeah.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: That's exactly what I had seen, you know, with my
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: own two eyes. And you had seen that as your father.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: You saw the difference in him paying a hooker and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: him having a girlfriend.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: When some of them were all set up to be
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: a hooker, but maybe one of them lasted because she
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: was funny and cool and actually he wanted to hang
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: out with her.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Long term. And that became a much longer... And those
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: women would make a shit ton more money. Right.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: So... Yeah.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to be that girl. I was very
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: against being that girl. I wanted to be the Bonnie
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: and Clyde. I wanted to be the partner in crime
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: that I knew myself even in a weird way. Like
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: I felt like with my dad, I was always his partner.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: And so I didn't want to be seen as that girl. Right.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: And so that's why I was disgusted.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: But this woman that you're talking about in the store,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: she didn't come off as being a hooker.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Not at all.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: She was so well put together.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: She was where she was.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: And she just had a very strong appearance, strong personality,
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: and not in a way that was contrived. She was
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: just naturally a very cool woman. She had pretty much everything.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I looked up to her when she walked in.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: I really did.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Take away the guy, I still would have felt that way.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: So anyway, my coworker said, listen, I don't care how
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: you're reacting right now. We need to go get a
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: two-buck chuck from Trader Joe's, go home, create a profile
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: for you.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: I'll create the profile. Okay.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: And we're just going to see how it goes. And no,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: you know, for him to say it, I'm always, I
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: was always, okay, fine. I'll just do it. So we'd go,
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: we'd make the profile. While the next morning, I had
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: 178 messages. And this was 10 years ago.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: So it was a very new... A new site. A
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: new site.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: I was probably one of the first 200 users, or
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: I believe I was one of the first 100 women
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: on Seek Arrangement. So I just remember laying in bed
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: and going, oh, I was so excited. So I went through,
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: I just started looking and, you know, they had all
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: the photos and that had their net worth, their annual,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: which it still has today. And then a little about
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: me and what they're looking for. And it was something
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: that I had never seen before. We didn't have Bumble
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: or Tinder back then. There was maybe Match, which no
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: girl my age would have done anyway.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: So I finally had like a place online where I
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: could find a man. Right. And it was well put,
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: like put together. The website, the platform wasn't, confusing to me.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: And what did you put on your profile at first?
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Well, it was my gay co-worker who wrote that for me.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: However, I did choose the photos.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: And I'm very good. I'm very good friends with one
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: of my first sugar daddies and he sent me all
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: of my first photos. I used to be blonde and
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: they were great though. None of them, I was never promiscuous.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: I never thought of it, bottom line. to me, it
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: was always a dating site. It was a dating site.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: It was to find a best friend. And so I never,
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: and I'm not comfortable wearing bikinis in a photo. I'm just,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I'll never be that girl. I was in my shopping.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: I was with my mom. I had my family in
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: my pictures, which I would never do now.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: But it showed my true lifestyle. And none of them,
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: back then, there was no filtering. And Right. So it
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: was truly me.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: But it still was probably pretty refreshing for these people
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: looking on these sites because a lot of those girls
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: were probably quite slutty, for lack.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Of a better word. I'm absolutely certain of it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: They were on that site to find a one night
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: stand or a flat out sugar daddy. And you probably
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: came out there looking much more innocent.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Maybe so.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: And I didn't realize that at the time. I had
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: no idea what was going on.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: So my first date, he drove up in a black Lambo,
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: suicide doors, was 35, looked just like Scott Dizdik and
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: was really like a dream date.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Well, wait, back up. So how did you pick him?
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: So I went through and I found guys with the
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: photo and I wanted the net worth to be very high.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to go on there and think, you know,
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: there was guys that had the two mil, one mil.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, I'm going to shoot for the stars, baby.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Well, so let's talk about that because I'm also on
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: the site, as you know. And I think people get
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: caught up and they look at the annual versus the
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: net worth and, you know, they get caught up in that.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: But the net worth on that site is what makes
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: that site different than other sites. And the net worth
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: really shows what these guys are worth. And this is
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: why you choose that amount to look for the guys
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: or to filter for these guys, right? Yeah.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Net worth is everything.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: Net worth is your network.
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: So, okay.
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: So you picked based on the guys that were worth
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: the most on this site.
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Even back then.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, for 50 mil for a 35-year-old, I was.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: Listen, I was 21, but I was smart. I was
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: smart like a 45-year-old. I've always been street smart. Have
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: me sit down in a classroom, I don't do so well.
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: But when it comes to people and understanding, I do
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: understand the way that the world works and money does
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: kind of run the world.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I think that. And how old was this guy?
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: 35.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: Okay. So did you believe that What he wrote that
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: he was.
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: Worth that much?
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because back then there was no pushback. Nobody had
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: anything negative to say about it. Nobody even knew about it.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: I had nothing going against what I was doing that night. Now,
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: I had him pick me up at my place. Don't
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: ever do that.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Don't do that.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: I got very lucky. But he listened to what I liked.
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: He brought me to Boa Steakhouse, private chef dining room.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: I told him I liked comedy shows. He had me
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: meet Dane Cook, a VIP showing. I told him I
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: liked spending my mornings at the W Hotel rooftop. He
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: bought me my own suite that he didn't stay with
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: me in at the W Hotel. It was like the
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: high roller. And I had an envelope on the nightstand.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: And did you have to do anything with him?
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: No, he actually, he chose to drop me off and
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: he didn't ask for anything. And I knew what we
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: were going to see. He wasn't ghosting me. There wasn't
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: that happening. I knew that we were going to.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: See each other again.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: He really just, I could tell at that point that
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: he was so respectful from our conversation at dinner. He
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: was one of the most respectful, endearing, honest, genuine, like
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: concerned people. listener of any date that I've ever had.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: And I knew that he had very high integrity and
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: that he himself wouldn't want to cheapen the relationship.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: I was certain at that point that he wanted to
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: see me again and that there was more than just that.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Would have been really cheapening the night.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: If he had asked to do that. So, all right.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: So now we can get into general conversation about this
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: thing in general. I think that a lot of people
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: mistake sugar baby and sugar daddy dating because they think
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: that it is borderline hooking. And I think that in general,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I think that I'd like to ask you, you know,
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: how you draw the fine line, because I think you're
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: very good at figuring out how to not exchange money
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: for sex. And you do a really good job of
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: making that clear and how to go on a date
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: and really draw the line and go on a date
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: and not do anything intimate with somebody.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think it was, you know, we can
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: we can draw it back to my father and knowing
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: the difference.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Don't cheapen yourself first, you know.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: If you come out with your boobs hanging out, there
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: are some girls on Seeking Arrangement that are my good
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: friends that I know verbally. Like, we talk just like
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: you and I are today. And they're great people. You know,
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: they're very emotionally intelligent, love them. And then they show
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: me their Seeking Arrangement profile, and it's all almost nudes.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: And so at that.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Point, of course the man is going to think that's
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: what you're out for. Right.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: And that's how they can be treated, right?
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you represent yourself that way, the man's
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: going to probably think they can treat you that way, too.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: But that's not even who they are.
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: It's like, what are you doing?
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: You know, you're just, you're ruining it for yourself from
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: the start.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: So, and also, get on the phone.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Call the guy. Create that chemistry before you even meet them.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: Check in.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: Make sure that, you know, if you want to be
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: a sex worker, by all means. I have nothing wrong
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: with it.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: It's fine. I know some girls who are. That's good.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Do that.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: But if you really are out for an emotional connection,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: which I've always wanted... Because I am a hopeless romantic
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: and I also am really bad at acting on dates. Mm-hmm.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Me too.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I'm like diarrhea at the mouth. Mm-hmm.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: So I definitely like think that if you want the
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: emotional connection, you have to really think about who you
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: are first. What are you looking for? What is your goal?
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: What's your end all goal?
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: If you're just out for the money, there is another
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: way to go about it.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. But if you really.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Want long-term financial gain from a man, and I know
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: this from the back of my hand, do not do
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: quick dollars. You are going to make so much less.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: You can make 1K today, but you'll never see that
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: guy again. Right.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: So, for example, people that have been on Seeking Arrangement, uh,.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: com or any other sites like that will know that
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of this conversation about pay per meet. Um,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: and that means for people that don't know, um, that,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: that men will join the site and women will join
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: the site and it'll say, you know, I'd like to
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: meet you on Wednesday night and.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: It's $ 500 PPM.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: And that to me sounds like sex work sort of,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: or media for hooking it purposes it can be and
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: it might be meeting up for a cup of coffee
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: and they'll give you 500 tap.
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: Into exclusive offers every week with the my center app
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: this week get seven up pepsi and club 1.75 to
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: 2 liter only 175 each nature valley bar multi-pack range
• 28:26
  Speaker 6: only 150 each and selected tato and king crisp six
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: pack only 125 each get loyalty that loves you back
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: only with my centra centra live every day drs supplies.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you should never talk about it before.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't do stuff like that because, first of all,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I'll never go meet somebody for a cup of coffee
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: for $ 500. I would get nervous about that anyway. But
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I'm in it for a relationship, you know, and I
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: would be in it for an agreement. Now let's talk
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: about agreements. How I think a lot of listeners would
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: want to know from you, who I consider an expert,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: how do you talk about an arrangement or an agreement
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: with somebody?
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so, I mean, like I said, you want to–
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: I usually FaceTime them. Don't ask them for money before
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: you meet them. The girls who call me and say,
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: how do you get such good-looking billionaires who give you
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: the world? Well, it's because I don't ask for $ 500
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: for a coffee meet.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Let's start there.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: Maybe if you're asking for $ 1, 000 to go to coffee
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: for 15 minutes, that guy is going to be desperate
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: and weird.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Right, exactly. Those are the ones that are never going
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: to give you real money. Those are the creepy. That's
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: what the girls call a toad.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, okay, so let's change that first. So
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: I think ultimately getting on the phone, establishing. For me,
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: I had a great success story for my first date.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: I usually bring that into it. And when I'm helping
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: my friends who are new to the sugar bowl, I
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: tell them, Even if you've never been on a date before,
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: tell them what you say that you used to have
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: a sugar daddy off the site. You never used the
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: site before, but you had somebody who was taking care
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: of you. And this is what he was giving you
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: every month. That way you take.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: Him out of it.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: But ultimately, I always say this was my first date
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: and this is how it went. He ended up giving
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: me like $ 10, 000 a month. If it scares off the guy,
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: the guy is scared off. Right. I don't get upset
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: about that. I don't get mad at him. I don't
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: try to pull someone into a situation where they can't
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: do it. You'll just move on.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you just move.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: There are so many men on that site.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: There's many, many fish in the sea. Just move on.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: So I do establish that on the phone before I
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: even meet them. I try to, you know, take it
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: off the site. I try to make sure that I
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: even like the guy first before even talking about the money.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: And do you think of this as a job? Like,
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: are you putting enough time into this as a job?
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: It depends on where I'm at in my life.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Because you're making $ 10, 000 a month doing this?
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: It's always been a supplement. But I definitely couldn't live
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: the lifestyle I've had without that income.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I can't see my life without it. And have you
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: had any bad stories, horror stories? Only from Bumble.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Tell me. Bumble and Tinder is very unsafe. Why is that?
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: Seeking Arrangement has a great vetting system. They read every
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: single message that's coming in and out. And you have
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: the filtering. If you really are concerned about safety, they
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: have the diamond members who are already verified by their
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: income and everything is solid. Bumble, they can make up
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: who they are. They can make up the whole profile
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: and Tinder.
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: And it's also just based on a photo, right? I mean,
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: you really don't know who anybody is.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: One photo, they pretended they had five mil. It doesn't
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: even say that, you know, it doesn't even have their income.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: No, they could be living with their mother for all
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just because they were a rock star in 1995
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: in a famous band doesn't mean that they have any
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: money right now.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is the horror story in February. I'm like, Okay.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: Guy was like a major rock musician.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like so excited for the date.
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: He lives in a shack. And it was during quarantine.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: And quarantine really got me off my regular standards, I
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: have to say, with dating.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: So we drive up.
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: His car was, it was a BMW from like 2013
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: or something.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: We drive up. God forbid. Might as well just hung
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: me now.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: So we drive up and it was like a cottage,
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: like really it was just small.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And honestly, the whole date was a disaster.
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: The guy was a total socio, like psychopath. And that
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: was preceding another horrible relationship that I had, or not
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: a relationship, but a date that.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I had from a matchmaking agency in New York.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: It was tumbling and I could not wait to get
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: home and get back on CK.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: But you're really good at weeding out these guys and
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: finding what we call these whales. What would you suggest
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: to people that are listening to find the right guys
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: that are, you know, if they want to be living
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: this kind of life, the sugar baby life, how would
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: you suggest that they find these men? that they can
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: sift easier through the site to find them.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: So I have been like coaching certain girls on just
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: how to, you know, be a part of the life
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: and actually do it right.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: And so I will say, what are your favorite characteristics
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: about yourself? Name me five aspects of you that you
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: really like. And usually, well, I have really pretty hair.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: I work out every day.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: I always... Okay, rewind.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: We're starting over.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Tell me five characteristics that are unique about yourself that
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: nobody else has.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Now go.
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: Some girls aren't even that pretty, but they're funny and
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: they're cool and they have stories and they're inspiring to
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: these men because these men hold businesses. These are very
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: intelligent men. They want an intelligent conversation. I mean, even
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: if you're a softer personality... you still have unique characteristics
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: about yourself.
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: So lead with that. So I think this is good.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: I think people need to realize that women do not
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: need to feel like, number one, they need to be
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: dating older men to be in a sugar baby, sugar
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: daddy relationship. You can find younger men. And you definitely
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: don't need to be trading... sex for money because number one,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: that's illegal. And number two, you definitely don't need to
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: be in bed with somebody to be making these arrangements
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: that you should be thinking of this as a long-term
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: relationship that you're going to get into and that somebody
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: is going to hopefully be supporting you almost like in
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: a marriage, because that's what that kind of relationship is
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: because they should be giving you something to get something else,
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: which is your affection, your time. And you want that
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: kind of relationship and there's nothing wrong with it. But
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: a lot of people that are listening might have a
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: problem with that because, well, for many reasons, there's so
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: many stigmas and taboos in that. Now, Tim, as a man...
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: How are you feeling listening to all this?
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: I think it's an interesting story. And I mean, I
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: like her as a person.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you.
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: You're just a good person.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, say more. You can really tell that, though, from
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: listening to her, right?
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: I mean, she's a good person. So I think that,
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: you know, obviously a lot of us are raised in
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: a certain way where we think that life should go
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: a certain way. And that is like you get married
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: to somebody and the whole idea is you fall in
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: love no matter how much money you have. You find
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: things in common and then you have children and you
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: get old together, retire and move on. So, you know,
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: that's how some people think. But I think that your
• 36:04
  Speaker 5: story is obviously different and it's outside the box.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: But, you know, life is evolving. Life is changing. And
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: so who are we to judge how you think and
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: what is working for you?
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: I ultimately think that anyone can find their successful relationship.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: Like what is your successful relationship and how do you
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: define that?
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: I think one of the challenging things for, for me
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: would the fact that I have power and I do
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: have money, um, is that I want as a man,
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: I want to be loved for me. And that's one
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: reason I have such big boundaries because I started doing
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: very well early in life because of the career that
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: I have. And so I was always wondering, like, what
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: is this person's motives? So for the way I think
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: about life, I want to be loved. I want to
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: be appreciated for me and not so much what I have,
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: what I've done, where I live, and who I know.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: What I find valuable and what I think is amazing
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: is rarely in the financial side. Like, I think of,
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: I mean, this could sound crazy, but Nelson Mandela was
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: not necessary.
• 37:23
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• 37:26
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• 37:41
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• 37:42
  Speaker 5: DRS supplies. Apparently the richest guy in South Africa, but
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: the guy helped change so many people's lives. I mean,
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: Mother Teresa was not a supermodel like a lot of
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: girls that I know, but she's very, very valuable. So
• 38:01
  Speaker 5: to me, in living a long time and seeing people
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: at their highest and at their lowest, I think that
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: there's so much value in communication, connection, a real bond,
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: that has nothing to do with the way I've lived
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: in Beverly Hills.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: I think that ultimately you can kind of feel that out.
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: You know when somebody is emotionally connected to you. You
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: can tell on the first date, no matter what. You
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: can tell on the first, you know, even if you
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: meet another guy who's out to just network with you.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: You can tell.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: And when you know that they're out for that, that's
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: when you cut it. And that's why I tell these girls,
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: if it's money before emotional connection, you'll never have success.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: Because this is an opportunity to meet people, network, but
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: at the end of the day, you're going to be
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: on the couch with them watching TV, and you're going
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: to want that person to be your best friend.
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, for me, who has not been that
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: exposed to this subject, I think it's another lane that's
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: obviously out there. And I think that This conversation that
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: we're having with Rachel is just bringing it to light
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: in a different way. And it's very, very interesting to me, Rachel,
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: to hear it from the inside.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting because you've obviously been able to have
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: relationships where you found experience. connection without having to take
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: care of somebody. And if you've found a relationship with
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: the connection with somebody, maybe that's just come naturally. You know,
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: if you meet someone, you fall in love with them,
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: you're the one that's been more successful in in life,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: you probably end up taking care of that one just
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: because that's your nature or that's the situation, right? That's true.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: So I'm curious, has anyone ever come up to you
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: and acted like the sugar baby and been like, hey, okay,
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: so I'd like you to take care of me?
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: All the time.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: And so how does.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: That go down?
• 40:06
  Speaker 5: Well, I think the thing is, is that because I
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: was raised by like a single mother and three older sisters,
• 40:15
  Speaker 5: there's like a respect that I have for women that
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: I think is unusual that some men do not have.
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: But when I started to become very well known in
• 40:24
  Speaker 5: Beverly Hills is, you know, you had some very beautiful
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: women coming after you. And the whole idea was take
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: care of me.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 40:35
  Speaker 5: So that was very foreign to me.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Did it feel good?
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: I would say that it was, The fact that I
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: probably lead more by my personality and my sense of
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: humor rather than my looks. So it was flattering, but
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: it was also confusing. Yeah, but it was flattering, I'm sure. Yeah,
• 40:58
  Speaker 5: so it was an interesting thing. To me, I think
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: that there are so many different lanes and paths in life.
• 41:05
  Speaker 5: This is just one that some people choose. But I've
• 41:08
  Speaker 5: also seen it on the flip side. I know a
• 41:10
  Speaker 5: lot of really good looking guys in Hollywood and Beverly
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: Hills that are taken care of by older women. Oh, totally.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: For a long time. Oh, yeah.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: There is that, yes. And that's very prevalent here in LA.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: It's very prevalent in New York as well and London.
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: One of my good friends is not a gay man,
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: but he's a sugar baby and he's straight. I do
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: think that most of the girls on Seeking Arrangement that
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: are out for love and not money see your personality
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: first no matter what.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: And so....
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: I know in Beverly Hills, there's so much good-looking men.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of those. It's a dime a dozen,
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: just like it is for a man. And so we
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: see it the same way. And we want that emotional connection.
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: We want a guy to.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: Be funny and charismatic and have manners. We want the
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: older guy who has manners, who knows how to be chivalrous,
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: who knows how to be a gentleman.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: And that's usually an older man.
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: Can I tell you my challenge with that, though?
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: Is that Rachel knows this. So part of what I'm
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: known for is I've been life coaching people for over
• 42:20
  Speaker 5: 30 years. So my doctorate is in world religion. And
• 42:24
  Speaker 5: then I've been a therapist for over 30 years. And
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: most men are bullshitting. And they're living a lot of
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: different lives. And so I know that because of life
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: coaching the most powerful men in this city, that they
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: may be making one woman feel a certain way, but
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: they're doing the same to two or three others. But
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: it does go both ways. So I think it's very,
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: very easy to play that role of, I'm this guy,
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: and then I took her to Barney's, and then I
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: did this, and then... oh my God, so then I
• 43:01
  Speaker 5: knew so-and-so, so we took his helicopter to, I mean,
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: I've been around this for days.
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: It's a small place. But yeah, you ultimately can tell.
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: And the best thing about seeking arrangement is that you
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: have an ability and a platform to say, I'm dating
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: other people. And it's in a place where it's okay.
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: So to me, this is not about talking about that
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: particular formula or company or site.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: But my point is this, is depth, is I think
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: that deep calls out to deep. And at the end
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: of the day, if I was life coaching you, I
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: see a whole lot of depth that I would like
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: to pull out of you. I really would.
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: What did I sign up for today?
• 43:46
  Speaker 5: No, no. It's just how I see you. Because I
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: think that this idea, part of my life is dealing
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: with billionaires as a life coach. I've been to 75
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: countries doing this, okay? And I think that, okay, so
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: you got the billionaire, then I will not deal with
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: somebody underneath this certain thing. Okay, no judgment, because I
• 44:08
  Speaker 5: tell you again, I like you. But I think your strength,
• 44:12
  Speaker 5: my gosh, you're a leader, you're an entrepreneur, you're like
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: going to just kick butt in your own right. I
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: think these silly boys could be in your way. They
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: literally could be standing in your way.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: They may have done that.
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: I would rather move their butts out of the way,
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: life coach you for 12 months, and then say, hey,
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: see you at the top. Because that's what I think.
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: Because I think otherwise, sometimes you're being enabled by somebody
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: who really is getting in your way. And they become
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: your ceiling.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I did say that.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: To her, to you, Christina, that what happens if, because
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: you're going month to month or day to day, sort
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: of not knowing what's gonna happen next. And if somebody
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: doesn't show up, so to speak, for you, Like you
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: don't have a job right now or whatever. So you
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: do depend on these men showing up for you.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, once I left my tech job last year,
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: I've been a full-time just sugar baby. And so it's
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: been a year of that. I've never done this before
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: where I didn't.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Have a career.
• 45:18
  Speaker 3: And it's been a life-altering experience.
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: But I could say this, Rachel, that I don't blame
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: her if she's sitting in a designer store. She sees
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: this gentleman leave the store.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: Give the black card, and then the lady can do
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: what the heck she wants. And you're making only so
• 45:38
  Speaker 5: much money and driving a car that you would rather
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: not drive. You go, I may have what she's having.
• 45:46
  Speaker 5: So I see the possibility of oh crap, that might
• 45:53
  Speaker 5: be an interesting way.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: It's the American dream, isn't it?
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: And it's a lot of hard work.
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I mean, I have friends also that literally do this
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: to supplement their life because they have to, they have kids,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: they have bills to pay. They don't have, you know,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: ex-husbands that pay them a lot of money and they're
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: stressed and they are going from date to date to
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: date on sugar daddy, you know, any sugar daddy site
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: or matchmaker or whatever it is.
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: And I think ultimately they want to find love.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: But it's, They're trying to find something that supplements an
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: income kind of. Yeah.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: But it is, there are days where it's not worth it. Right.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: And women put themselves in danger. All for money.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: And it's not just for money to put in their
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: pocket to get their hair done. It's because they are
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: single mothers or they're putting themselves on the line because
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: they have to pay bills, you know?
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of them are going through that.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: And it's been, especially during the pandemic, it was because
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: they were trying to supplement income.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: And also I have had a career where I was
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: making a hundred grand and that wasn't enough.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: Because, you know, I was living above my means probably,
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: and I always have been. And so I've gotten comfortable
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: with having that supplemental income and no, like having a
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: higher position at $ 250 a year rather than $ 100 and
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: make that money on my own would have caused a
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: lot more stress for myself and so that's kind of
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: where I go no I'd rather this job and then
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: have sugaring but at some point which is probably like
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: now or next year I want to find somebody who
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: can afford all of that and I can have my
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: job and it's consistent because right now I don't feel
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: consistency and without that it doesn't feel right it feels
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: kind of like a temporary life.
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: Do you mind if I add something from my life
• 47:45
  Speaker 5: coaching side? See, again, I think that some things we do,
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: as you've heard, you've heard this before, for a reason,
• 47:52
  Speaker 5: a season, or a lifetime, okay? So we've all had
• 47:56
  Speaker 5: chapters of our life. Rachel's had chapters. I've had chapters.
• 47:59
  Speaker 5: You've had chapters in your life. So maybe this is
• 48:02
  Speaker 5: a chapter or chapters in your life that has given
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: you exposure to what you want and do not want.
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: Because as I read you I just see you as
• 48:13
  Speaker 5: an entrepreneur that can kick butt wherever you land. If
• 48:18
  Speaker 5: I put you in Marbella, Spain, I think you would
• 48:20
  Speaker 5: just like run three companies.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she'll figure it out.
• 48:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she'll figure it out.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: I have moved nine times.
• 48:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so part of the thing that I'm thinking, in
• 48:29
  Speaker 5: my opinion, is that I feel that you're not pulling
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: out some of your potential. And I think that there's
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: so much potential there And that sometimes we have to
• 48:41
  Speaker 5: play these silly games to get what we want, including me.
• 48:45
  Speaker 5: So for me, as a black man in Beverly Hills,
• 48:50
  Speaker 5: who's lived in amazing houses as a young black man,
• 48:54
  Speaker 5: I had to play little games to fit in. Does
• 48:57
  Speaker 5: that make sense? Or if you're in entertainment, you have
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: to put up with silly people to get the job
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: or to fit in. But I think that you come
• 49:07
  Speaker 5: to a place in your life where you say, kind
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: of the hell with that. I'm going to be me.
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: And I say it this way. The real you makes
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: a demand on the you that you become. Because I
• 49:17
  Speaker 5: think we've all been there in life where we're just like,
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: this is not me.
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: And I do want to say one other aspect of
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: it for the people that are listening and may take
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: away that you are the aggressor on there looking through
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: the men and picking them. You know, these men have
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: signed up for this and they know what they're getting
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: themselves into.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: And a lot of these men have their own psychological
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: issues because half of these men won't even meet these
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: women that they are paying for. You know, they have
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: social phobias. They have whatever issues are going on. So
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: they will do things like they live in the Midwest
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: or whatever, for example, and they will just want to
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: have some sort of a connection and literally feel like
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: they're taking care of someone and send them money. send
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: them cars, send them things to take care of them
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: and genuinely do it because it makes them feel good
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: to take care of someone. It makes them feel good
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: to be needed because they have their own issues with
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: themselves and they want to be.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: A sugar daddy.
• 50:17
  Speaker 5: It's a very common thing. So like when I'm life
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: coaching people and I'll say to a man on a
• 50:21
  Speaker 5: scale of one to 10, how do you feel about
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: your job? 10. Your finances? 10. Your emotional life? 2.
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: Because what happens if you put so much energy towards
• 50:32
  Speaker 5: one thing, like just dominating in the area of money,
• 50:35
  Speaker 5: a lot of these guys are like dwarfs in the
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: area of their emotions. Right. And I think that that's
• 50:41
  Speaker 5: a challenging thing for a smart woman down the line.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: So maybe she'll get all that stuff.
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: And I mean, I'm not putting down Tommy Mottola, but
• 50:55
  Speaker 5: that's what Mariah's story is. She's like, okay. So I
• 50:59
  Speaker 5: got all this stuff and then I could not connect
• 51:03
  Speaker 5: to this person. Right. And that happens a lot, Rachel,
• 51:06
  Speaker 5: in people that we know.
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: That they marry these powerful men and then they feel like,
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: I got nothing in common with this guy.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: And that's actually the conversation you and I had because-
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: and tell me if you don't want me to talk
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: about this, but you have recently met someone who has
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: obviously a lot of money, has obviously a social phobia
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: and won't come out of his house, but is sending.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: You a lot of nice things.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: And I said, well, this guy sounds like a great
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: long-term relationship for you, but because he has such a
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: social phobia, probably won't be a long-term person for you
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: because you won't be able to have that connection, even
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: though the money is there.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: He wants to take care of you.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: He's very nice, but you can't end up having a
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: long-term relationship with someone who.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: If they can't have that.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: Physical connection, even if they have all the things that
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: make you feel secure and have the money and the
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: stability and all the things that you think you can
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: live in a palace.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: The money and the stability.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: You'll rather be on the street poor.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: I'd rather do what I'm doing now.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you'd rather start from the beginning because you have
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: to be attracted to them.
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: I think like what I said before is the lifestyle
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: has to be the same.
• 52:11
  Speaker 5: Can I say something about relationships? I think that even
• 52:15
  Speaker 5: from the male perspective, of who I would date or
• 52:20
  Speaker 5: who a man dates, even if they do well, is
• 52:24
  Speaker 5: that we have to be so careful who we connect
• 52:26
  Speaker 5: to because if their standard is not high in so
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: many other areas, and I break it down this way,
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: Rachel knows this, that there's like three levels of living, almost, most,
• 52:39
  Speaker 5: and not most. Almost means not quite, nearly, barely. That's
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: how you did not like living. But somebody else most
• 52:47
  Speaker 5: may not be your most. So their most may be, okay,
• 52:51
  Speaker 5: I'm worth $ 7 billion.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: Congratulations. But you're not very funny. You're not very smart.
• 52:58
  Speaker 5: Now you're really starting to bore me, et cetera, et cetera,
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: et cetera. So I think that we all have to
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: be careful so we don't get stuck in somebody else's
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: view of what the most life is.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: And then you got to now live in that. Rachel's
• 53:14
  Speaker 5: been there. I've been there, and now I'm hearing you've
• 53:19
  Speaker 5: been there. So I think that that's, for all the
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: people that are listening right now, I think that's super
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: great advice.
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: I've fallen into the trap of what is her most,
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: what is her successful relationship. And, you know, looking at
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: that Korean lady who walked into Rodeo Drive, that was
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: the dream.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: But was it?
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: And was it the dream? And it wasn't, maybe, so much.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Did I see a... emotional connection that day?
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: No.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: And that is imperative for me to be happy. I
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: need to have the emotional part in order for me
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: to live happily.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: Right. And I think everyone wants their own happily ever after.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: Well, Christina, thank you so much for joining us today.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: It was so great.
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: And I think that everyone now can hopefully understand this
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: sugar baby, sugar daddy lifestyle a little bit better and
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: that the taboos and myths surrounding it were clarified a
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And we'd love to have you back. So I
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: really enjoyed having you here.
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. I definitely, you know, I'm here to demystify the
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: whole idea of sugaring and understanding what it's all about.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: And maybe I've made my own mistakes, but we can
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: all talk about it and explore it further. So thank
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: you guys so much.
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to Misunderstood. I'm your host,
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: Rachel Yucatel. Please be sure to subscribe to the show
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: and give us a five-star rating and review. You can
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: support the show by joining our Patreon at patreon.com slash
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel. Do you have ideas for the
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: show or.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: Want to reach out?
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Email us at infomisunderstoodpodcast at gmail.com. That's spelled M-I-S-S understood.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and I'll see you next time.
• 55:17
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