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347: Decoding Your Patterns with Human Design · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

• 0:01
  Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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  helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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  flow without sacrificing results.
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  Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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  according to your human design.
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  I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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  Hello, and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody.
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  I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and we are going to talk about patterns today.
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  Now, why are patterns important?
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  Well I obviously, I have a program where I work with entrepreneurs
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  who are building businesses according to their human design.
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  And let's even just talk about the people that end up in that program.
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  Usually, the people that are attracted to me, and this is my cosmic niche as well.
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  Why?
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  Because it's the story that I'm connected to these people.
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  I speak to them in a way that feels really authentic to them.
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  Where they say, I believe her, I believe that she understands this journey.
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  And those people that end up in there, usually, what they fall into is, they're
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  people who have, mostly women, not, it doesn't, it's not exclusive to women, but
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  we have mostly women in there, in fact, we have all women in there at the moment.
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  But they are people who are taking action, but they're not progressing as quickly
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  as they, I'm gonna use the word should.
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  Although there's no shoulds in our world, but you know what I mean.
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  it feels like I'm doing a lot.
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  I feel like I'm showing up a lot, but the results aren't there.
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  I don't necessarily know what it is.
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  I feel like I'm doing all the things.
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  I feel like I'm doing the right things.
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  But for some reason it seems harder for me than it does for other people.
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  And somewhere on some level they know.
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  That they're holding themselves back.
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  But they also know that that's not all of it.
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  It's not just, Oh, I'm stuck.
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  They're plateaued.
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  And they know that they've reached that inner glass ceiling.
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  And they also probably know that there's some things in the things
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  that they're choosing to do.
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  The tasks that they're doing, the way that they're doing things, that
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  there is some structure and there is some strategy that's needed
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  beyond what they have at the moment.
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  That there's something that they can't see There's something where they're
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  like, okay, I've got all of this here, but I you know, I don't know
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  if I can see what's wrong with it.
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  I don't know if I'm able to see So they end up coming into my world.
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  And sometimes I just have conversations with them.
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  I have clarity calls with people who have this same problem.
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  I'm doing all these things.
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  I have a lot of balls in the air.
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  I am taking action.
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  I'm really trying to make something happen.
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  I'm ambitious and I am putting in the work.
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  But I don't feel like there's an equal exchange of the work that I'm putting
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  in and the results that I'm getting back from the work that I put in.
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  Sometimes the answer to that can be systems and getting better at
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  some of the strategies that we use.
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  Usually what it is, I see that as a separate thing, like that's
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  how we amplify what we're doing.
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  That's how we make it easier to do more, our systems.
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  But no matter what you are doing, I don't care if you're a coach or if you're a
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  real estate agent or if you're, but if you're an entrepreneur, if you're in
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  this, business of making something happen from nothing, you create your results.
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  If that's you, then you are the most crucial, You are the thing that
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  will make or break your business.
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  You are the thing that will make it grow super fast and have amazing results
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  and you will most likely be the thing that holds it back at different stages.
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  So we have to look at ourselves as entrepreneurs and usually the
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  people who work with me know that.
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  So they're game for this.
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  They say, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's dig into my stuff.
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  And what I wanted to talk about today is because I used to I've been doing this
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  I've been coaching in some way since 2016.
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  So for a long time.
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  And since 2016, I haven't been doing human design since 2016.
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  I've been doing human design since 2020.
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  But what I was doing before I was a peak performance coach
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  was what I called myself.
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  I'm an NLP practitioner.
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  I work with EFT.
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  Everything was about overcoming the self.
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  What are the limitations, the self imposed limitations that we put
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  on ourselves that are holding us back from our ultimate potential?
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  I've always been obsessed with it and the reason I've been obsessed
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  with it is I have had big dreams.
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  I've been ambitious.
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  I have been, I've had my sights set on things.
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  I've had my heart set on things that I couldn't make happen and
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  it wasn't for lack of trying.
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  And I became obsessed with, I know I'm in my own way, but how
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  do I learn to navigate me?
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  There's two different levels for this.
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  and I'm going to get into both of them a little bit, but what
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  helped me more than anything.
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  So for years I use those other modalities and sometimes it would
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  take me, if I worked with a client, it might take us a couple of months
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  to even figure out what was in there.
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  There'd be a lot of talking.
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  There'd be a lot of sharing.
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  There might be a lot of crying.
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  And we would work through stuff.
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  But in order for me to get to the heart of it, sometimes
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  that would take several months.
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  And that's just a slower process than I'm comfortable with.
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  I like to move quickly.
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  I want to see results fast.
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  And that's what human design helps us do.
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  Because human design, when you're using it as a map, as a way to
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  decode your patterns, you can start to change your day to day behavior.
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  You can start to bring awareness to behaviors that maybe you didn't even
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  know that you had, but that are getting in your way because they're unconscious.
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  I always assume sometimes that people know these things, but there's a very good
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  chance that you're listening to this and maybe you don't, but if you've been in
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  the mindset world for a while, it's not a new concept to say that our brain's job
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  is not to make us rich, powerful, have all of our hopes and dreams come true.
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  That's not its job.
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  Its job is to keep us safe.
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  And what it does is it has some sort of limit set and it's subconscious.
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  We don't know what that limit is, but that limit says it is safe
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  for us to have this much money, this much success, this much love.
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  These are safe levels.
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  Stay here.
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  Don't go too far below them.
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  Don't go too far above them because that would mean it's unknown to us.
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  And if it's unknown equals danger.
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  And danger equals death, so we don't want to go into the unknown, even if
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  it sounds like it could be better.
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  So I'm making 100, 000 a year.
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  And you continually work harder, but for some reason you
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  can't bump up past 100, 000.
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  Somehow you magically end up at that number every single year.
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  It's interesting, right?
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  That's where your thermostat is set.
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  There's a wonderful book called The Big Leap.
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  Where Gay Hendricks takes you through that entire framework for what he calls
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  your, it's a subconscious program.
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  It's like a thermostat.
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  It is your inner limit.
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  It is your limit.
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  And what he calls when you bump up against that limit, alarms start to go
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  off and you're hitting your upper limit.
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  It's like the warning bells go off and then what happens is subconsciously
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  your mind says send out the troops.
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  Distract them.
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  Keep them from going in that direction that might get them to where they
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  want to go, but is not safe to us.
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  We have to keep the body safe.
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  So what are we gonna do?
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  Let's throw a crisis into play.
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  Let's distract them over here.
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  Let's make them feel like they have no time.
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  Let's get them all worked up and freaked out about something
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  that doesn't really matter.
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  Just long enough, could be a couple of days, to take them out of the game
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  to keep them at this comfortable pace.
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  This will keep them at status quo.
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  So when we start to understand that, when we start to understand that's
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  how the brain operates, then , it doesn't matter what level you're
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  at, you're dealing with this.
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  The difference is between you and people at different levels is their limits are
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  set at different levels than yours are.
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  So how does human design help us?
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  So what human design can do is it can start to tell you,
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  what are your stuck strategies?
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  What are the most common shadows that you might fall into that your
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  subconscious is going to use as its go to behavior to keep you stuck?
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  When I started to see this, now, obviously, there is, I want to
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  acknowledge that there is trauma and deeper subconscious experiences that can
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  exacerbate everything that I'm talking about, can exacerbate our shadows, that
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  can make it harder to break the pattern.
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  So this is where I'm going to talk about the magic of human
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  design, but also the limitations of it, because it is a cognitive
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  awareness program in a lot of ways.
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  It's obviously beyond that, but the way that we work or we're taught to work
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  with human design in its traditional frameworks is, Oh, just be aware that
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  thing is there and then stop doing it.
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  wouldn't it be wonderful if we all could just stop doing the
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  things that didn't serve us?
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  Of course we work to do that, but some of us find, and I count myself
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  in this group as well, that just wasn't possible for me.
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  And that was deeply troubling, frustrating, like beyond, beyond
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  frustrating, like where I was tearing my hair out, just being like, I
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  can't, why can't I overcome this?
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  And there was subconscious trauma that I had to deal with, small T,
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  big T trauma, I had small T, what I consider small T trauma, some people
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  would consider it big T, but you know, I had issues with I had issues
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  with feeling loved, feeling accepted.
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  I did not feel those things growing up.
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  That wasn't my truth.
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  So walking around in a world just telling myself, that
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  wasn't true, that wasn't true.
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  You are loved, you are, that wasn't enough.
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  I had to go deeper than that.
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  But the day to day, and where we can figure out where that trauma
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  might be, and how we find it, human design can really help you do that.
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  I wanna to step away from the trauma piece because that's going to be, so much
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  deeper and there's another path of work.
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  But what it tells us is that if you're in the entrepreneurial game,
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  this has to be part of your process.
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  It has to be, or you will constantly just bump up against that glass ceiling
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  that you have imposed on yourself.
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  If you don't notice those limits, if you're not paying attention to that and
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  starting to work with it to get past it.
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  And there's two ways that we do that.
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  We do that with the trauma work and then we do it with the awareness work.
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  And we're going to talk more about the awareness part today.
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  And how you can start to use that to get to the deeper trauma,
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  subconscious work, subconscious reprogramming, the other ways.
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  I will say this, finding out what was in my human design chart made me look
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  at the challenges very differently.
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  It wasn't something that was wrong with me.
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  It was something that I had that could be very right with me, was
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  actually a gift, but I was just in a lower expression of it.
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  That suddenly made it seem more like a game that I could play, rather
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  than something that was fundamentally wrong with me, that I couldn't fix.
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  And when you get out of that business of trying to fix yourself, And you get into
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  the business of playing with your energy to get it tuned just right to what you
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  want to create and who you want to be.
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  A much more empowering space to be in.
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  And that's one of the things that human design did for me.
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  It opened that up.
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  And so today, , what I want to talk to you about is the two aspects, of human design.
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  Because we can get into the whole chart.
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  We can certainly go through all of our open centers and the shadows
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  of our type, there's all of that, that is valid and the deeper work.
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  And that's what I do with my clients.
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  It's why my program is a year and, not two weeks.
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  Because as we work, we find the different things.
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  We start walking the path and you start finding the different shadows there.
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  And you work on them and you're tuning each one.
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  It can take some time.
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  But it has such lasting, amazing results when you do it this way, when
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  you pair it with the subconscious work and also the awareness work.
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  But I want to share with you one of the areas that you can see a lot of bang for
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  your buck in this shadow tuning business.
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  In decoding your patterns, seeing them for what they are, and then starting
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  to work with them and this is where Gene Keys really opened things up for
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  me, because just the fact that Richard read the way that he, and for those of
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  you who aren't familiar with the gene keys, they are 64 keys of the gene keys.
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  They're 64 gene keys, and they are synonymous with gates and human design.
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  Gene keys and gates are the same.
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  The difference is, Gene Keys is a system that Richard Rudd created.
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  And these are his, interpretation.
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  So if you look at the Gene Keys book, if you buy the Gene Keys book,
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  it might be very confusing because you're like, what do I do with this?
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  It's like a big encyclopedia.
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  It is his contemplations and his transmissions on what each of
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  the Gates slash Gene Keys means.
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  And what he did, which I think is what makes it so helpful.
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  It gets you seeing how you can actually use this work as opposed to it
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  feeling like, Oh, it's my lot in life.
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  I should just accept this.
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  Which is a little bit more in alignment with kind of the way
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  that Ra talked about this stuff.
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  That Richard Rudd, he gives you a frequency band for each gene key.
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  There's a shadow frequency.
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  There is a gift frequency.
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  And then there is a city frequency, which is like the
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  high gift, the enlightened state.
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  And those are wonderful to cast your vision on a possibility.
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  But we want to live in the gift.
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  Like that's the goal is not to live in the city.
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  Cause I'm not Buddha.
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  I think those are states that we, and the way he explains it is the city state
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  is something that we touch, maybe, but we don't live in it 24 7 because, quite
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  frankly, none of us are going to be that enlightened all the time, probably,
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  because we're normal people, maybe you are, I have not gotten to the point
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  where I'm living in the civic state of any of my gates, but how we use this
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  and how you use this to decode your patterns and how this can be so amazingly
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  helpful is if you look at the gates of your incarnation cross, and this is
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  why incarnation cross is so powerful to work with, that your incarnation
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  cross is, it's your greater life theme.
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  It's the 70 percent of your energy is going to be in these gates.
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  So it's a very powerful piece of you that you're working with.
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  Now, if we're looking at understanding ourselves helps us to be better.
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  If we are being better than we get to create different results, and if
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  we create different results, then our businesses are getting more
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  successful and our lives are getting better and we're living in abundance.
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  You see how this works, right?
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  So this is such a key.
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  to unlocking whatever it is that you want to create in your business.
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  It all comes back to you on some level.
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  And then of course you have to do stuff.
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  I never want to leave that out.
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  You have to take some action.
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  You do have to have systems.
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  You have to have strategies.
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  It's why I don't teach just one piece.
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  But this is the part that makes it sustainable or not.
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  You don't have all the strategy in the world, but if you, the operator, are
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  operating, constantly battling your shadow, and constantly battling this
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  difficulty, this challenge you're always facing, and you're always losing, at
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  least for a few days, that is where you are going to constantly suffer,
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  and you'll find that you're doing all the things, you're trying really
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  hard, but the results aren't there.
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  I had a client in a call this week.
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  One of the best compliments I could get was she had a really, she has a corporate
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  job and she had a really hard time.
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  She had a really difficult, challenge that she's facing in her job.
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  And she said on our call, she said, I have to say, I want to call this out that, a
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  year ago, this would have taken me out.
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  I wouldn't have been able to do anything, it would have been like
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  weeks of like just battling this thing.
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  But the work we do in here, I'm like, you know, , I dealt with it, I went into it,
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  I processed it, and I'm like, okay, fine.
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  And that's the difference between somebody who's able to create a new
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  experience and a new result in their life versus somebody who is trapped
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  in an old way of being who's going to attract and create the old results
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  that they constantly keep getting.
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  We break the pattern, you break the pattern of being yourself.
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  That is how you get something new.
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  And your incarnation cross.
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  You get four gates in your incarnation cross.
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  Each one of them has a shadow, a gift, and a city state.
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  If you start to look at the shadows of those gates, those four gates, and
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  you start to become aware of those shadows showing up in your life.
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  And you start to get curious about them.
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  Remember, my line is curiosity over criticism every day, all the time.
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  Curious, not critical.
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  We don't want to be critical of ourselves, but when you see a shadow
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  come up, go, huh, wonder why I did that.
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  That's interesting.
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  Oh, there it is again.
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  Hmm.
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  What are we doing there?
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  I wonder if there's something I could do to change that.
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  I wonder if there's something I could shift in me.
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  Maybe I'm doing it right now just by looking at it differently.
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  You can start to change that pattern by having that line of questioning.
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  And when you start to not live in the shadow and start to live in the gift,
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  you will start to see your life change.
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  Now, fun exercise that you can do.
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  Look at the shadows of the gates of your incarnation cross.
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  Get the Jean Keys book, look up the shadows, read the shadow,
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  and then think about how has that shadow been present my whole life?
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  How have I been battling that shadow in some way, shape, or form my whole life?
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  Look at it.
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  It's right there in front of you.
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  And you can start to decode all the challenges that you've
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  had through that exercise.
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  You're welcome.
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  I can't tell you the level of growth I had just going through this and I work
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  with my clients on this all the time.
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  This is the shadow pattern and if you can break it, if you can see it, if you
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  can be aware of it, then you can change it and if you can change it, then you're
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  living in your gifts and then you're attracting people with your gifts.
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  That's how we work with this.
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  So I hope you found this helpful.
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  We do have, oh I didn't even mention it.
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  I I got so wrapped up in this.
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  We do have a new business by design ebook.
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  So we have a new, build your business by human design guide.
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  And all you have to do is DM me the word ebook on Instagram.
• 19:30
  I'm at NicoleLainoOfficial and you can get it there.
• 19:33
  Or go to the show notes and grab the link and you can go straight
• 19:36
  to the website and download it there if that's what you prefer.
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  But this is a free guide that we've made for you.
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  Basically the whole process of all the pieces that it takes to build your
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  business according to your human design.
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  What does it take?
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  The strategy and the energy.
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  If you want that, please go and get that.
• 19:53
  It's a totally free guide It's our gift to you.
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  Thank you so much for being here.
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  I appreciate you as always.
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  And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must
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  first become an unshakable human.
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  So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everybody.
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  We will see you next time.
• 20:09
  If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
• 20:12
  us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
• 20:14
  the show and leave us a review.
• 20:16
  And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
• 20:18
  design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
• 20:23
  Go to nicolelaino.
• 20:24
  me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
• 20:28
  design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
• 20:32
  We'll see you there.