Latest / Anything But Routine / 229. Placements, Levels, Ages, and Why Growth Isn't Always Comfortable

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229. Placements, Levels, Ages, and Why Growth Isn't Always Comfortable · Anything But Routine

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: We don't wait for the rhythm.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do we make the rhythm?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: We call, we create rhythm.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: Hi everybody, welcome back to anything but routine.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: This is Allie Garrett, and actually we don't have Cindy here today, but I do have a good friend of mine, Shreya Gobel.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: Hey.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't have you been on a podcast before?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: I have not.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: Which is so crazy because so just to give you a little background of Sherea, she for like five years, did you work here?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: She was like my right hand at our studio for the past five years.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: And um, she like does all of our camp coordinating.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: She did a lot of other things in our home office here as well.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and last year, like right before our studio season started, three weeks before, uh, we had one of our directors um resign.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so very quickly we had to make the decision to move Shreya down to um our Medina just for kick studio.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: And so it was kind of stressful for both of us.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: We cried a lot.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: I cried a lot last August.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: Me too.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm looking forward to not crying so much this August.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but it was really fast and it was just like a big change for everyone and stressful, but we made it through the year and we still talk all the time.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: And actually, the other night we were having a conversation on the phone, and we were like, gosh, this should really be a podcast.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: So we just decided to kind of come and chat about a few things that, you know, for us, it's been tryout season at our studios.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I think for a lot of studios and dance teams, it's maybe tryout season or coming up will be tryout season.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I just think there's so many things to talk about in terms of tryouts.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I also feel like we just did a parent podcast not that long ago.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm sure we're gonna kind of touch on some of those same things, but also looking at stuff from a different perspective and from a kid's perspective a little bit too.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, so basically what we're wanting to talk about today is placement levels, ages, why growth isn't always comfortable.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I think that's a big thing dancers and parents to hear is that growth isn't always comfortable.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I think this day and age, especially, I feel like there's a lot of in terms of parenting, wanting to make everything feel good and be perfect for kids.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's a big part of their growth is it not feeling good and feeling perfect.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: Uh whatever it is.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, every year we have conversations with dancers, parents who are excited, nervous, disappointed, confused, all the things at once.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: And that's really normal.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I think it is a really personal thing.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_03: And and I know, like as a teacher, I hate tryout season.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: It's like least favorite time of the year.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_04: I hate it.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's not fun.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: We don't like doing it.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we love all of our kids so much, and I think I think that's what's really hard is like you know, when you're making these lists, like you're gonna break little hearts.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: And you're so like attached to them and you care about them, who they are as people and their feelings.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: And at the end of the day, we have to look at like where we're gonna place them, where they're gonna grow the most.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that that's hard to take away like your personal feelings towards a dancer, um, and be like, this is where they're going to grow the most and be able to become the best that they can be.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes it's not on the A team, and that can be really hard.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's where you know, I feel like parents and dancers, you need to realize, I would hope that your coaches are, you know, really looking at each dancer, and that's something we really do.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like we talk through after our tryouts, we will sit as the the judges of the tryouts and or whoever you have there watching your tryouts, and we will go through each kid and go, okay, well, this kid, yeah, based off their tryout today, uh, I'm kind of borderline with them, but you know, this is a kid that I feel like needs to be right in front of the teacher, or if we lose them focus-wise, or this is a kid I know their personality, they are going to a hundred percent shut down if they don't make that class.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_03: Or, you know, it might be like they need that extra little push, and they might be a kid that that does better when they're struggling, when they feel like they're the weakest one, or or the opposite.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I think we, you know, we really are looking at every single kid.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I just hope parents and dancers can understand that coaches are doing that and that we're really trying to make the best decisions.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Are we always right?
• 4:21
  unknown: No.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: No, we make mistakes, and I won't even say mistakes, but like sometimes we'll put a kid in a class and then you'll get there the next year and be like, ooh, they were not ready.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think it's tricky too, like in my own experience this last year.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like you have kids who will switch over to your studio and you know nothing about them, and they may have had a really great tryout that day.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: And that's just sometimes like the nature of what we do.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes, you know, just because we know your kid and know how they are in classic out, always say that I'm not judging your kid based just on their tryout.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like sure, we'll go through like how did they show up to class?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: How were they as a teammate?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: How was their work ethic?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, all of that.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: And it really plays a part into like what's coming in the season.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I and I know that sometimes if a new person's coming in, you don't have those like background details.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's hard to know.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: And then you might make screw up and be like, oh my gosh, I thought they were ready, but they had a really great tryout, but they don't try hard, correct?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: Or vice versa.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: You might have had a kid that had a terrible tryout, you don't know them, and they didn't make the class, and then you're like, oh my gosh, they definitely should be in the next level.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: And so I just and we we are very quick to like correct that if we really feel like a kid gets in the wrong class.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: However, that's very rare.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like that I really feel like a kid is so far above a class that they need to get moved.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where I think, you know, we're gonna kind of talk about that later a little bit, but like the challenging yourself with in what class you're in.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: So I just think really trying to trust that your coaches are making the best decision for your dancer or for yourself.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we're really trying to do what's right.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And as a coach, being able to recognize if you did make a mistake that you can fix it.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I know I've had a lot of conversations like with parents, like, if your dancer works really hard this summer and does show up above and beyond everybody else, then I am happy to move them up.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: I actually would love to do that.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: So not promising anything, but being like, you know, I can be wrong too.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: So just having that conversation of like if you work hard, it's not to say that things can't shift.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's on your shoulders, you know.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I think that's something I when I've had meetings with kids that are ticked off about what placement they're in, I'm like, prove me wrong.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_03: Use getting mad at me, use it as fuel to push yourself, like get so good this summer that I can't not move you.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that in most of the time it doesn't happen.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I think because you kind of have to be outstanding in order to move up into the next level and really stand out from the other side.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: But like Ali just said, it's kind of on your on the dancer's shoulders, then like work hard and then it will pay off.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I love this quote though.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: The the challenge is, I don't even know if I'd call it a quote, I guess, but yeah, the challenge is that what feels best today isn't always what helps a dancer grow the most tomorrow.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I think the goal isn't status, it's growth.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's something like I feel like even more in the last like 10, 15 years, it's become such a thing that parents and dancers are so worried about what it looks like to be in a certain class in a good way and a bad way.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like I know we talked about this a lot on our last podcast, so I won't hammer this one.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: But like if you're having fun and enjoying it and working hard and getting exercise, like, isn't that what it's all about?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: And growing and getting better.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like oftentimes when we have kids who are super disappointed in their placement, we have to remind them like, are you dancing to be on a certain team or to be with your friends?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: You can't dance for those reasons.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: You need to dance because you love to dance.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so always reminding yourself.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: We often will tell kids before placements come out, like, write down your why.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you dancing?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's probably not to make the A team.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's probably not your goal.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it is your goal, and it's probably not the reason why you're doing it.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_03: But I like the I love this too.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like the real goal is growth.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: A placement isn't a reward.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I really want that to like set in for dancers.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like, a placement is not a reward for working hard.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: And that's something I get a lot from parents is like, well, my kid works so hard.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of kids do.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like a lot of kids do.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes what happens is like your kid maybe started here and this kid started here, and they're both working hard, and they just kind of keep that gap, or sometimes the gap gets bigger.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: Also, there's kids that we have known for years and years and years who work really hard, and like unfortunately, their ability is just probably never gonna be there.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: And that's like hard to swallow.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_02: But again, that's why you have to dance because you love dance and not to be on a team.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: And along with this reward thing, I think I've had some parents, you know, say to me, like, we've danced at this studio for so many years and put so much time and money and effort.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm like, time, money, and effort doesn't equal a placement.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: So yes, that's so valid.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like all of those things, like I appreciate your dedication to our studio and everything, but unfortunately, a lot of kids have danced there for a lot of years, and it doesn't mean that you just make the 18 because of your dedication to our program.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: So it's an important reminder.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I also like on that, like everybody, yeah, everybody's put in that time and that money, and like you can't pay for a placement.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's like I think it's a large misconception in the dance industry, right?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: That other dance parents are like, oh, you just pay your way to the top, but that's not really what's happening.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_03: And if it is, I would maybe look at going to a different studio.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because I feel like that, like, if you have a great coach, they are never going to let anything like that like have an effect on placements.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: And and I also think, you know, like on the flip side of that, I multiple times have had parents say, Well, I didn't want to say anything to you because I didn't want you to treat my child different.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: And to me, that's probably like one of the most offensive things because I would never treat a dancer different because their parent made me upset.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like because the parent is not the dancer.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: I would never put a kid in a lower level class because I didn't like their mom or didn't like something their mom said.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: Or even them.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like if they're a kid who maybe isn't your favorite, like I still would never like hold them back because of their personality, because that's who they are.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_03: And we try to be as as as fair as possible.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: But fair isn't always equal.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: Which is a hard pill for kids to swallow too, I think.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: Especially right now.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's always a tricky one.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Become a youth program director and work with just for kicks.
• 10:24
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• 10:31
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• 10:38
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• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I think when it comes to placements, and maybe you touched on this in your other podcast that you talked about, but um how you as a parent, like when if if a placement comes out and it's maybe not what your child expected, how you as a parent handles it is gonna be how your child handles it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're like this is outrageous, like you should be on the placement team, then they're gonna think that, and then they're gonna feel almost worse about themselves, probably because they're you're their parent and they believe what you say.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so if you but if you're like, you know what, sweetie, it's okay, you're gonna grow here and we're gonna work hard and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: That is how your child is gonna see it.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: Totally, totally 100% makes a difference.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_03: So our reaction as parents is huge.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: It really is.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: And it's we did talk about this on that last podcast, but it it definitely like you see it in different kids.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like you see kids that are mad and kind of like digging their heels in, and then you see kids that are just enjoying it and having fun, and you're like, Well, these are two kids on the same level.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: And you're like, this one's like super pumped to be here, doesn't care, and is like working their butt off, and this kid is having an attitude, but it's because mom and dad had an attitude.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and that does make such a difference.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: And honestly, you you usually see the kids who are just there and loving it and it working hard, they're the ones who grow the most.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I just think like there's you know, even if in the back of your mind you're like, what the heck was the coach looking at?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: Don't say that to your kid.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like if you are not respecting their coach or their teachers in front of them, how do you expect them to go to class and be a respectful student?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like if you are disrespecting and saying negative things about their coaching, your kid is not gonna be as coachable.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: So even if you like think the coach is crazy, don't say that out loud.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like, say it to your husband in the at night.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't say it to your kid though, like and be like, what are they doing?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-uh.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's just gonna make them question their coach and then they can't grow because now they don't trust their coach.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: And if you have a team who doesn't trust their coach, you're not gonna probably gonna go very far.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: You have that trust is huge.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: So I think you know, and dancers, like if you're confused why a coach put you somewhere, go ask them.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and you can do it in a respectful way.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: There's a difference between saying, Hey coach, could you give me some feedback?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um, like I'm just curious, like feedback, like what could I be doing better?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_03: Where do you see that I need to grow the most?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: Instead of saying, Can you tell me why I didn't make the A class?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like to me as a coach, like that makes me feel like, well, I have to put up the defense because I feel like you're mad.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_02: I also um had dancers themselves in my older age group, like 9th to 12th, they emailed me themselves being like, Hey, what time work on?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then I had some kids in the same age group, their parents email me, and the tone of the two emails were just very different.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like I really like I'm always happy to give feedback, but I really appreciated those kids reaching out and taking it upon themselves to be like, How can you help me versus having their parents in the middle because those parents having their children reach out is teaching them good life skills, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like how to communicate with adults and you know, ask for feedback on how to be better.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, in the workplace, you have to ask for feedback on how to grow, or you're gonna get it regardless.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just teaching them like really great life lessons in that regard, too.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think, especially right now, because I think communication is a tricky thing for kids.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like we've noticed it in the last even like two years that the communication skills has majorly gone down.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I think the more you can make your kids communicate, and we kind of have that rule on our high school team that like we don't want to hear, hear from mom and dad.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we want to hear from the kids.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: So, like if you have a conflict, we want you to come to us, not your mom.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think too, like in terms of you know, your placements, like this.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: So this was something that Shri and I were talking about on the phone the other day, and I had like a oh aha moment of I think sometimes like as coaches, we're dealing with this stuff every year and con constantly.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: That we're like, well, duh, obviously this is why, like, you know, we can get like a little razzled.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm like, okay, but this like if you're a parent that has never been a coach or ever had kids in sports, and maybe you this is your oldest child, right?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like you don't think about it from a coaching perspective.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like, of course you don't.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like that is obvious, but sometimes we forget that it's obvious.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: But I think you know, sometimes it's like I I feel like recently I've had a few more of the like, well, I think you know, now that my kid's the oldest one in the age group, they need to move up because those new kids coming into the class are not nearly as good as them.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_03: Well, duh.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like to me, it's like because your kid was there once.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like well duh, they're not as good.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: And and I think that especially if you're dealing with like three age groups, like sixth, seventh, eighth, right?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, like that is such a big difference.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like it usually when they're younger, they're dancing two ages, like two grades together, and then they get to the bigger age groups where it's more grades, and the gap is a little bigger, right?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: So it feels a little harder.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where I'm like the sixth graders in our like we have sixth to eighth grade, right?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: And our our sixth graders and our sixth to eighth grade class should feel a little stressed out because they're behind in terms of the eighth graders.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Now, what I don't like is like it's all about potential, right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then what I don't like is then when you get the eighth graders or the eighth grade parents going, Well, those sixth graders are nowhere near as good as my child.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think they need to get moved up.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like you're not seeing the perspective of the role switching and what your child is now, the the eighth grader that's the leader is learning in the class, taking them and continuing to move them and having them always be the youngest one or always be, you know, trying to keep up.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: That's not great for them either.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I think sometimes having them go, okay, now I have to be the leader.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: Now I have to demonstrate perfect technique, or Susie Q over here is not gonna have perfect technique because I'm one of the strongest ones in the class.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: So she's following my lead.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Now they're stepping into that leadership role.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where their growth is coming from.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like you grow so much from now being being one of the best ones and perfecting what you haven't perfected.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Versus those kids in the back, they're being their growth is coming from being challenged with those stronger kids.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: And being like, I'm trying to keep up and I don't even know what's happening.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: But like the older ones, now you do know what's happening.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can like maybe work on your feet a little bit, work on your strength of your base leg on your turns.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like maybe you've been able to rotate, but are you doing it with good technique all the time?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: And that's like talking about kids in a plate, like the A team, for example.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: But the growth in a different team looks like slowing down and building your fundamentals.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Is your movement quality up to par?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Is your technique there?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, again, how you show up.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it may be your growth is commitment and stuff like that.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just different depending on the the levels of the placement teams you're working with and your and your dancers.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_02: And the groups can change every year.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like maybe the level of your A team last year is not gonna be the level this year.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's maybe it's taken a little step down just based on the group of kids you have too.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: So like you can't ever compare past years and future years.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I think parents also, again, need to trust the teachers that like we see it, like we know that there's gaps in some of our classes, and we sometimes sit and go, okay, how are we gonna do this?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, how are we gonna challenge this kid who's the strongest one?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: And how are we gonna also keep this one that's the weakest one up to par?
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and like how are we gonna help them grow so that they're not developing bad habits while still challenging those other kids?
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, what well, one other thing I was just gonna say is I I liked the the thinking of it in this way of sometimes growth comes from being one of the strongest dancers in the room and learning leadership.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes growth comes from being challenged by dancers who are stronger than you.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: And both of those are good things.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I think every kid needs to experience both positions.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that's where I think a lot of times parents want to see their kids in the sometimes.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: Growth comes from being challenged by dancers who are stronger than you rather than being the strongest one, because I think parents worry that they're not gonna like get better, and that's not the case.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: And I think again, you have to really trust the process.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I think sometimes you get kids coming home and going, Well, the dance isn't hard enough, or this is too easy.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I think sometimes you have to step back and go, do they really know what they're talking about in terms of that?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because I often like that nothing like makes me feel more crazy.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's coming up here.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: It is, yeah.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: So maybe just transition.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: We'll just go there.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: But um, I just started reading now and got distraught.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: The the biggest thing though that she's kind of saying is like when it comes to choreography and stuff or class placements, is that I'm worried my child won't be challenged, or as a dancer, I'm worried I won't be challenged.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: And being challenged is being challenged is a choice.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: Say it again.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: Being challenged is a choice.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like we could take our highest, most elite level dancer in our studio and put her in a beginner class, and she can make it difficult.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: Because of how she is, he or she, I should say, how they are taking class.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: Are they thinking about their technique so hard in everything they're doing, pushing their movement quality, dancing super full out?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's a choice, right?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: And as well.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: I said that's like in terms of like solo choreography, you know.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: I I feel like that's often something that that you'll hear from parents, especially around comp season, but like, well, their dance isn't hard enough.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: Well, their dance is the choreography is not not good enough.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of times I like parents to put in perspective, like, okay, well, if I took your child's choreography and gave it to the most famous dancer you know, do you think it would look different?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely, it would.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a lot of times it's how they're doing it, it's not the choreography itself.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, choreography matters, but not as much as I think some people put weight on it.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I actually was doing a masterclass yesterday with a dance team, and just like I had said to them, like, you're out of winter season right now, like just make this combo feel good to you.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: And it and it it's just plain sight.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, some kids can make it look very basic, but some kids can really make it look like an entirely different combo.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's just kind of like how they're doing what they're doing, and again, it's just like effort and the choice that they're making to take and how they're taking class.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and when and I was gonna say too, like when you're saying like this, if you took this choreography, maybe I think sometimes parents think their dancer can do more than they actually can, and sometimes it's it's more about like, can we make this actually look good, or do we want the whole class to look like we're like struggling with it?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of that's also the thing, too, is you maybe the dance itself has a little bit more easier or simple choreography, but maybe they're working on harder skills in class.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: So just because the what you're seeing of routine is not what's happening in class necessarily, right?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I think sometimes, like if they're making it look really great, then great.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like their challenge maybe has been that they've are mastering it and like thinking about details more and thinking about their technique.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: So maybe it wasn't so hard that they like can't get through it, but it was hard enough that they're getting better.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's that's huge.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I I mean, I know as a teacher, like the most cringy thing a kid can say to me is this is this is easy, like, or like I'm this isn't hard enough.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not challenged, like that makes me want to like rip my eyeballs out.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: I like it is not something any teacher wants to hear.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm like, okay, well, so make it harder then for yourself.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: Can you make the movement bigger?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: Are you really Do you have the ink at technique?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's okay, let's film you and go through the video then and let's fit.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: I'll point out all the things that you could do better for you then if you don't think this is hard.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's also about consistency.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: Can you consistently do the routine the same way every time?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of kids can't hit the turn set the same every time.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's a huge thing.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, can you make it look effortless?
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Can you add artistry, movement quality, musicality?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: Can you add projection, confidence, precision?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's so many factors that go into it.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: I think a great example too is I'm just I'm just thinking like of a specific camp staff right now of one of our that like she was demoing an intermediate dance, and we were like, oh my gosh, this dance looks incredible.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I think often, even like our you know, like our staff sometimes will dance down to the level that they're teaching.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like yeah, we talk about that a lot.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like you don't have to perform an intermediate level dance like you're an intermediate level dancer.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where I think, you know, when when kids are saying, well, the dance isn't hard enough, make it harder.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like do it better.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's it's funny too, because if you take, if you have a camp staff who's doing an intermediate routine but making it look harder, they technically or they usually have more kids come to their class because they're like, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna go to the house.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be able to do that.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of times, like, I think kids are seeing, like, they'll say, Oh, that class is gonna be too easy for me because they were watching maybe the group from the year before in their class, and they're seeing what they're putting on the floor and not what was taught to them.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's where sometimes, like, yeah, that's maybe why they're in that class, because maybe they haven't mastered it how it's supposed to be.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I think often, even like when it comes to ballet or anything really, like, like, for example, we don't level like our kit class at the studio.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: Just because we have the best dancer at our studio and maybe some weaker dancers, that doesn't make the class easier for the best dancer just because they're not all at her level.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, don't worry about what the other kids are doing.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: Challenge yourself, like that doesn't matter who else is in the class.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that makes me so annoyed.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I I also, as a teacher, I know you are like this too, and I also try to tell my studio teachers, like, we need to teach to the best in the room.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe, so like, again, that's trusting your coaches that they are pushing your dancers and they know what they're doing and they're doing it for a reason.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I think if you ever feel like they're not, a way to approach that with your coach or your teachers would be, you know, like if your kids coming home all the time and saying, I'm not challenged, it's too easy for me.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_03: My first pause as a parent would be, what's my kid doing in class?
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_03: Because most of the time I'm like, if they're coming home saying that, to me, that's on them.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: So that would be my first thing.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_03: And and I would maybe approach it with the teacher just that way.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like, okay, so hey, my kids coming home and they're saying that class is too easy.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: What are they not doing?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: What are they missing that you're that you're giving them?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_03: Like, where do you see them like missing the details?
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because to me, it's telling me that that they're missing things that you're saying that would make it harder for them, and not that you're not giving them hard enough stuff.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: I think this comes back, it really is like because I know you said we talked about this a lot.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: Both of our moms would do this to us if we got in like fights with our friends.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be like, Well, what's what are you doing?
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think that's like a thing that to teach your child of like always guilty until proven innocent.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: So that's and I it's a great quality to have though.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it's made, I think, as like as a kid, it makes you so mad when your mom does that.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: But now as an adult, I am so appreciative that she was like, if I would complain about friends, like sometimes I just wanted to be like, Oh, your friend is mean.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but instead she'd be like, Well, what are you being mean?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: And a lot of times I was like, probably, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I think it comes back to sports too.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then and then I feel like if you approach it that way with the teachers, they're gonna be less likely to be defensive.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe you'll get some real answers of how to help your kid grow because that's the whole point, right?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like that's how we help our kids grow.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_03: Not like you're not challenging my my child.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like maybe it's a bigger conversation.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: And if you open the door to your coaches in that way, you might hear things and find out stuff that's actually going to benefit your kid, or you as a dancer, it might actually benefit you.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: You might hear something that, yeah, it might not feel the best, but you might actually grow and get better from it.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: And in the long run, it's going to help you, which maybe you should now touch on the conversation we had about the I want to dance in college.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: So I with places coming up, yeah, this boot camp thing, and I had like said to my kids, to my older ninth or twelfth graders, I was like, How many of you want to dance in college?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: And so many of them raise their hands.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: And in my head, I was like, So many of you are don't have the strength.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we're just not there.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and it's my job to get them there.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so then when I when it came into placements, you know, like how I looked at my teams for those age groups were very different because I was like, I want my a team to be, you know, like a varsity level, high-level team.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then there's all these kids who have these aspirations of dancing varsity and dancing in a college team, but they're never gonna get there if they don't fix the things now.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: And they are moving up in age group.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, yes, you're a talented group of kids, but there's so many things that need to be fixed.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: And for me to help you, we need to challenge you right now.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's kind of like dangling this carrot in front of them of like, you can move up, but you have to work for it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: And it is achievable, but I'm trying to help you like just putting you achieve your gifts.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's not doing anything for you.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's where like it a lot of times it's like, well, isn't she close enough?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, I mean, yeah, if that's what you want me to do to your kid, just push them in there.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: But we've also had this on our own elite team with our high schoolers where we're like, Oh yeah, this girl, she has something she needs to fix, we'll put her on here and then never fix it.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then and then by the time they're a senior, you're like, we should probably cut this person.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_02: And how crappy does it feel as a coach to take someone off a team they've been on for three years, but they never fix anything because they maybe put them in there.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe because of potential, and then they just and some kids writhe and some kids don't.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that's just hard again.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_03: That comes back to like the personality of a kid, right?
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes we think that we know, or sometimes it comes back to like they're going through a phase.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like sometimes they're like, I'm too cool for school right now, and I'm not gonna try that hard at dance anymore.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: And now, oh, I'm still as good as I was in eighth grade and I'm a junior in high school because I just kind of coasted, like I was good enough, so that just worked, but now it's like, oh my gosh, I'm almost a senior, and like, am I really at a level to get to where I actually want to be in college?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: And some kids don't have that aspiration, and fine, like, but then don't be mad about where you're at either.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: But even yeah, even just dancing varsity in high school, I just am like you have to have so many strong fundamentals, um, good movement quality.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's just so much that goes into it, and so like that's our job is to get them there.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so And sometimes it's a kick in the butt.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where I think too.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like, parents have to realize sometimes when we're doing or placing kids off of like, well, they're a little bit too big for their britches right now.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_03: That doesn't mean we don't like your kid.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: If anything, it means we love your kid, you know, and that's where I think sometimes we're looking at them and we we're with them so much.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like sometimes we start to see them like our own kids, where sometimes it's like that tough love moment of like, I know you're probably at the level, but you're still not fixing X, Y, and Z.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm not letting you go in there until I see you fix it.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I love you, but you have to fix it, yeah.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and so I think sometimes like and some kids will rise to the okay.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_03: We're not out here just like being like, I want to be mean to so many kids and make them feel bad.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, no coach, I hope, would ever do that.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, any coach that I know is not placing kids off of that.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: They're really not, they're not trying to make anybody feel sad.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_03: If anything, we're going, okay, I love these kids and like how can I help them?
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Also, I think sometimes people think that how we place kids is like political and like maybe a business move.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if you're putting, you know, I'm like, I'm sorry, like if you choose to quit be based on your placement, that's your choice.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_02: And that's me as a teacher and director making the decision.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I know this kid might quit, but I need to push them where they're gonna be pushed.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like, it's not that's not a business move, it's not like about making money for us, it's about showing these kids how to work hard for what they want, and it's teaching them so many life lessons, and that's that's what we always say.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: We want to make good people, not good dancers.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Because how many of them are going to dance professionally?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, even how many of them are gonna actually end up dancing in college?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of kids, like, I have so many kids that I see where I'm like, oh, I kind of thought you would have gone on to dance in college, and then they just decide not to because they've been dancing for so long and now they're moving on to something else, and that's fine.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: But I think we as parents of like fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh graders, we need to remember that.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I swear I just saw something recently that said like 0.02% of these kids will end up dancing professionally.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_03: It's about a lot more than dance.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, it is.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and letting your kid lead the way in that.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if they really love, truly love dance, then let them do all the things.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, ding, ding, ding.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: Again, because don't be the parent who's like pushing them into all these things because that's how they're gonna get burnt out and then they're not gonna want to chase those dreams that they have right now.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_03: That is if like we can say anything louder for the people in the back, it's that.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I see so many parents pushing kids at like second, third, fourth, fifth grade where you're like, they know what you're doing.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like you are setting your kid up to quit.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: And again, this is what we see time and time again.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it's happened so many times.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's where I'm like, like, please don't do it to your child.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_03: We're like, please don't do it to your child because we already know what's gonna happen.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like you, it might be your first time with an athletic kid.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_03: This is not our first time seeing kids that have potential and their parents burn them out.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: And they plateau, or they like want to want it for him too much.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I see so many kids are like, their kid doesn't even really want to be here.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_03: And they're like, My kid loves dancing, she needs extra private lessons.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, I don't think your kid really wants extra private lessons.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, wait till they're coming to you going, mommy, help me, how can I get better?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_03: Don't be like, we're going private lessons today, and they're like, I don't want to go.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: That is not also check in.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think you sometimes have to take a step back and check in with yourself of like, is this what my child really wants, or do I think it's what they want?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes I think you as a parent maybe are like, oh, my child loves to dance, so I need to do this for them.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: But like letting them lead the way and taking again, taking a step back and be like, Does my child really love to dance?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: Do I sit and watch a dance class and I'm like, wow, I can see it, or are they just like taking dance class because they're there?
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_03: And because you can tell, you can do that.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: You can just put them in it.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can totally tell.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_03: And and guess what?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes they change, but let them make the change.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like, that's where I think I sometimes see kids that they are like chasing butterflies during dance class for second, third, fourth, fifth grade, and you're like, Oh, come on, you're it's never hello, hello back there.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like, are you here or are you doing courtwheels?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like, there's a lot of that happening in class.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: And those same kids, I think sometimes are getting pushed by their parents, and their parents are so worried that they're behind, and sometimes they're not, and they're like, Oh yeah, we know she's kind of chasing butterflies.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: But guess what?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: All of a sudden, those kids might have a switch flip, and all of a sudden they're like, I want to be really good.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_03: Especially if they're young, especially so many times.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_03: So don't panic or stress about like if your kid is at the level of the person next to him, like let them grow where they are, let them lead the way.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_03: And like, yes, I also see like as a parent, you want to push your kid to be a hard worker.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_03: I I get that, I agree with that.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I think there's a difference between like dedication and pushing your kid too far.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: And the difference between maybe your kid does love to dance at home, but dancing at home is very different than dancing in a studio.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like they might like to just like dance around a music, but like to actually be working on fundamentals of dance might not be their passion.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like they might just love to move their body.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_03: It's funny because I'm with my so my five-year-old.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I'm trying it's so hard because like I get the parenting perspective of it too.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: Cause I'm like, oh my gosh, what are you doing?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_03: You know, some like I get that feeling sometimes, but I'm also really, I don't want to end up being a crazy dance mom just because I'm a dance teacher.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm trying very hard to like step back and let her lead the way in terms of what she wants.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I don't try to push her to do stuff at home ever.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes she'll say, Mom, will you help me with this?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_03: Then I'm more than happy to do it.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_03: But even when she's like, Mom, watch my leap, I try really hard to not be like, you're not doing it right.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_03: Even though sometimes I want to be like, you're on the wrong leg.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm trying to like let her ask me for feedback rather than me just giving it to her.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I want her to lead the way.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if she wants to be a dancer, I actually had that conversation with her because all of a sudden at the end of the year, she didn't want to go to class.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Stevie, we are finishing the year out.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you join this, you love dance.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I know she loves it, but then sometimes she doesn't want to go.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: Which I try to be lenient about that too.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_03: But also, again, the other side of it, like you signed up for this, like we're gonna finish it out.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's an important thing to learn.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: But I one day just looked at her and said, This is the deal, though.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we're gonna finish the year out.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I want you to know, like, just because I love dance does not mean you have to love dance.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_03: And I want you to remember that.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you don't have to do this because I love it.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_03: And I think making sure that they know, like, that they are in dance because they want to be there and not because they are scared to tell their mom they want to quit because their mom has invested so much time and money and is at the studio with them and so into it.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I think there's so many kids that are scared to tell their parents how they really feel because they don't want to let you down.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's very true.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: This is turning into the longest podcast.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: But we have a couple more topics.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_02: We feel so passionate, but yeah.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we feel like self having dancers self-grade themselves kind of could be something that's beneficial because oftentimes they're gonna be harder on themselves than it is than than we would be on them.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um talk more about what you're well.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_03: We've talked about it a couple times.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_03: It was actually one of our other coaches that I coach with Julie that said she wanted to start having the kids like actually have a scorecard during the summer and grade themselves, like grade their toe touches, their leaps, their flexibility, their strength, their turns.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like on a scale of one to five or something.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: All their things so that you know, when dance team season comes for us, when they get cut or they don't get on varsity or whatever, that instead of like their parents being like, What the heck, you know, we can sit down with them and their parents and say, Okay, here's your scorecard you filled out.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: Here's what you said about your toe touches, X, Y, and Z.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_03: Does that look like a varsity level dancer to you?
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_03: Because most of the time, they're like she said, they're gonna be harder on themselves when they're giving it to their coaches.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_03: I think if you had to had them have two report cards and like one they were gonna give to mom and dad and one they were gonna give to the coaches, they'd probably look all different for sure.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_03: But if you pulled out the one they would give to the coaches, I think it would be a little bit more like, so you tell me why you're not a varsity.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_03: And it would make them kind of go, Oh, yeah.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I think proven X, Y, and Z.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I do have stuff, like it isn't on the coaches, and I think that's what's something that drives me crazy is like, you know, I even like with the extra stuff, like we're offering so much extra stuff, and then kids aren't doing it.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, you're gonna be the same kid complaining that you're not where you want to be, and that isn't on me.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_03: If it's financial, like come talk to me about it, and I guarantee you there's like 10 parents I've had before being like, I would I would sponsor a kid, you know.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_03: Like I don't do that at the studio because it would just be way too hard to like figure out who do we sponsor and who do we not, and whatever.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_03: But I've had people be like, Hey, I'll pay for that kid's dance.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_03: I know they're struggling.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah like there's stuff where we could help you or like give you a fundraiser to do or so many fundraisers, like there's so many things that they could do.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like finance shouldn't be a reason to not do something, and we can help you figure that out.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_03: But like don't complain to me about not getting where you want to get when you're not doing the extra stuff to get there because a lot of those kids that you know kids glorify and are like, oh my gosh, that person's so lucky, they're so good.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's not luck, sister.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is like purely like being there, work ethic, and doing what you're supposed to be doing at all times and not ever letting yourself slack.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_03: Like there's obviously those kids have days they want to slack too, but it's the discipline, like you have to be disciplined.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes it's like, oh, maybe I want to go out on the boat right now, but I should probably go and go to that class.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_02: And and also like if your kid is yeah, it's a choice.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: Also, if your kid is wanting to get better, like I said this to a few kids who asked for feedback.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, if you want to send me videos throughout the summer, I will happily like give you feedback on them.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, teachers are happy to do that kind of stuff.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_02: And how many kids actually do it?
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I've maybe had two kids ever asked me for feedback.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Like I had kids do it, and guess what?
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's normally like the ones who are great, yeah.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, the ones who actually really want it, and again, it's the kid doing it, not mom.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_02: And growth isn't comfortable.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: And is that uncomfortable for a dancer to like send their dance teacher a video of themselves by themselves and be like, Can you give me feedback on this?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm sure that's very hard, especially for like a teenager to do.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: But again, it's teaching them how to ask for feedback.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_02: Again, that applies to just life in general, and it's not comfortable, but we grow where we're not comfortable.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: I kept I kept reminding myself, I said that a lot this year, like it's it was a hard year, just like with the quick transition of moving.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: But I kept like saying, like, you don't grow where you're comfortable, you don't grow where you're comfortable.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and it's I've been comfortable here, and so then it's like you move, and I've learned a lot about myself, and yeah, getting uncomfortable.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: Getting uncomfortable escaping the most important things for you to do, and I think especially as a kid, like that's one of probably one of the only times that it's kind of forced on you.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_03: And so, like, let them enjoy that because I think a lot of adults get into adulthood and then they stick to where they feel comfortable because they don't have people telling them what to do, or like you need to try this, you know, or you need to do this, because now you're just the adult, like you're your own boss.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: And like, I feel like there's probably so many people, if you ask them, like they may have been at their job for years and years and years, but they're probably just comfortable there, and like maybe they want to do something else, but it's scary, yeah, it's very scary.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I think something dancers that you can ask yourself, like instead of saying, Well, why wasn't I placed in the A class or why wasn't I on varsity?
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe shift your focus to what can I learn from where I am now?
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_03: What am I supposed to get out of this?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe you are in the wrong class.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_03: So what?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_03: Work hard where you are.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_03: I think my my mom was just saying that she listened to it, it was like something at that Star Tribune thing she was at.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_03: And it was like the Star Tribune athlete of the year.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_03: It was a guy that was, he's a hockey player, like a high school hockey player, and he said his biggest advice for younger athletes is don't worry about what team you're on, work hard wherever you are.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_03: And he said, There's so much you can learn from from every place that you're at.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: But if you let yourself get upset about what team you're on, you're never gonna get to where you actually want to be.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_02: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I will always say I would much rather have a dancer who works hard than someone who's naturally talented.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: And when they come together, talent do nothing when they come together, that's the best.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um this is a really good quote, but it says, um, because growth instead of status, because placements last only one season.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: The lessons dancers learn from how they respond to challenges like these can last a lifetime.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: And that's kind of what we've been touching on throughout this whole thing is like they're learning so much about themselves, about how to work hard, about choices they can make to get where they want to go.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_02: And that's like a lesson of a lifetime.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I've seen it time and time again, like kids that are, you know, like in the C class, the B class end up passing up kids that were in the A class.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't always matter.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_03: What kind of person are you helping like grow?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: What kind of kid are you trying to have?
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: And dancers who ultimately succeed aren't always the ones who got every placement they wanted.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: There's actually a girl I've been thinking about throughout this podcast who, when she was in middle school, made the B team.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: And like, was she good enough to make the A team at the time?
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_02: Probably, but she wasn't fixing technique.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_02: And so we were like, we've told you, you know, time and time again, you gotta fix X, Y, and Z.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_03: But once they're there, a lot of times, even if they want to, they don't because they're comfortable.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: But this one specific girl took it and ran.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_02: And like she, and then in the spring, we let her do the production number with the A team because she proved herself.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, that's like where we're not afraid to like put them where they belong, you know.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_02: And the last time it's a tough conversation, and people are mad.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: And at that point of the season, like it was almost like it was at the end, and so we were like, well, here's what we can give you now because we had already had our routines done, everything had already happened.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_02: But like being able to reward kids then once they've like progressed is also important for us to do as coaches, right?
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think that's kind of I think that kind of wraps it up, but just bloom where you're planted, people.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, the rest will follow.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: We make the rhythm, we call, we create, we don't but routine.