Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 200 | Money, Marriage and Business (with my husband, Jason Worff)

Transcript

200 | Money, Marriage and Business (with my husband, Jason Worff) · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

0:00
Erin Gray: Welcome back to the podcast.
0:01
Erin Gray: Today's episode is a really special one because today's episode is number 200.
0:06
Erin Gray: And I am so grateful for each of you that tune in every single week and share your time with me.
0:11
Erin Gray: I absolutely love being with you, sharing my thoughts, my ideas with you every week.
0:17
Erin Gray: And I think podcasting is so special because it's such an intimate thing that you are in someone's ear every week, and that person is getting to know you, to learn about you, to trust you.
0:26
Erin Gray: And so I understand and recognize that you can listen to anyone.
0:30
Erin Gray: So I just want to say thank you for listening every week and for paying with your time and your attention.
0:36
Erin Gray: I thought that it would be fun to celebrate the 200th episode by bringing my husband on, Jason.
0:41
Erin Gray: I thought that would be a lot of fun.
0:43
Erin Gray: He's definitely the guy that supports me behind the scenes and all of my crazy ideas.
0:47
Erin Gray: He typically is on board for all of them.
0:49
Erin Gray: And he definitely is one of the guys or people that is not necessarily as familiar or comfortable with being front and center and being on video.
0:59
Erin Gray: And so I'm just grateful that he came on to have fun with me to share all of his insights on me and on money and marriage and business.
1:08
Erin Gray: So in this podcast, we're going to talk about our money journey, how we have navigated it together, and how our perspectives have actually developed over time.
1:17
Erin Gray: We talk about business in general, what it looks like to build, to lead, to support each other, and to run a company together as a married couple.
1:24
Erin Gray: And also we discuss where there's still room for growth for both of us.
1:28
Erin Gray: And we dive into marriage, the highs, the lows, and like everything in between.
1:32
Erin Gray: And so my desire for you for this episode, as you listen, is to see that money and business and marriage can feel fun and it can feel easeful, not something that is stressful and divisive, and that you can truly create the life that you want based on what you actually desire and what your dreams and goals are for you and your family.
1:55
Erin Gray: So let's dive in.
1:56
Erin Gray: I'm so glad you're here.
1:57
Erin Gray: You ready to rock and roll?
1:58
Jason Worff: Yeah.
1:59
Erin Gray: Okay, what's the hardest part about being married to me?
2:02
Jason Worff: I knew this question was coming up.
2:04
Jason Worff: I saw it on your notes.
2:06
Jason Worff: Um I would go with how I don't know if the it's the right, it's like strong-willed.
2:15
Jason Worff: I don't want to say it's your way or the highway, but sometimes it's Aaron's way or the highway.
2:22
Jason Worff: So yes, I would say that is the hardest.
2:25
Jason Worff: Like, do you think you you have you have your way of wanting to do things?
2:29
Jason Worff: And yes, you do take input on doing it those ways, but the car gets parked in a certain spot, or the car has to be facing away from the sun so it doesn't heat up.
2:44
Jason Worff: And I don't think it that much.
2:46
Jason Worff: I and it all makes sense after the game's played out, but it's like, but I can just park right.
2:51
Jason Worff: No, I don't want you to park right there.
2:53
Jason Worff: And and then I, you know, it that happened this weekend at wherever we were going to Target or wherever.
2:58
Erin Gray: But I think also, too, when you when you ask me where do you want me to park, I'm gonna tell you where I want you to park.
3:05
Jason Worff: But I don't think I'm am I no, because wherever you want to park is fine, and then well, that's not the right direction of the park.
3:14
Jason Worff: So we'll just go at it that way.
3:16
Jason Worff: Like if we're gonna stick to the parking because that's the safest thing here, you know, it's like you can park wherever you want to.
3:22
Jason Worff: Okay, cool.
3:22
Jason Worff: I'm just gonna park way out here.
3:24
Jason Worff: So, you know, not that we have to walk farther, but then you know, the school bus is easier to pull into right here.
3:30
Jason Worff: There's nobody around us.
3:30
Jason Worff: I can be protected, you know, by a curb and we don't get any door dings on the car and all that kind of stuff.
3:35
Jason Worff: And then nope, you got to face the other direction.
3:37
Jason Worff: That happened at volleyball.
3:39
Jason Worff: I mean, if if we're going down examples, and I have mad, I have what do they call it?
3:44
Erin Gray: Methods to my madness.
3:45
Erin Gray: Because it's typically always about how is the sun going to be, right?
3:48
Jason Worff: Yeah, it's per but and that's what I'm saying.
3:51
Jason Worff: So it's not any way that park wherever you want to is not it's park wherever you want to as long as it's okay with where my motions were.
4:00
Jason Worff: What do you want for dinner?
4:01
Jason Worff: I don't know, whatever you make.
4:02
Jason Worff: Well, as long as it's this thing that you're making.
4:05
Jason Worff: Hey, let's go for a hike today.
4:07
Jason Worff: Sure, you picked a hike spot.
4:08
Jason Worff: Well, I don't want to do that kind of hike, I just want to do a leisurely stroll hike.
4:13
Jason Worff: Well, am I allowed to take you on pavement?
4:15
Jason Worff: Can we go on hard pack gravel?
4:18
Jason Worff: Are we allowed to go uphill?
4:19
Jason Worff: You know, are there gonna be other people there?
4:21
Jason Worff: Is there shade?
4:22
Jason Worff: You know, all those things.
4:24
Jason Worff: Are there places for me to pee?
4:26
Erin Gray: Would you say that I'm very particular?
4:28
Jason Worff: Extremely particular.
4:29
Jason Worff: And maybe that's a better way to put it.
4:31
Jason Worff: It's not like set in your ways, it's particular.
4:34
Jason Worff: That's a cleaner way to say it.
4:36
Jason Worff: You're more particular, like their outfit is very expressive that we've discussed.
4:42
Erin Gray: I was gonna wait to go here, but we're already on that.
4:45
Erin Gray: What do you think that women wish that understood about men?
4:48
Jason Worff: So we've we've had this discussion.
4:50
Jason Worff: I had this discussion with somebody else too.
4:52
Jason Worff: Sometimes we just need to be told what to do.
4:55
Jason Worff: And well, because we don't want to be told what to do, but we do want to be told what to do.
5:01
Jason Worff: Okay, like we're not gonna be like, oh, I want to take the she's wearing the pants roll.
5:06
Jason Worff: But sometimes it's just like, you know, we're gonna go back to that, but just like just park right there facing away from the sun.
5:12
Jason Worff: Perfect.
5:13
Jason Worff: I'll do it.
5:14
Jason Worff: Easy.
5:14
Jason Worff: I gotcha.
5:15
Jason Worff: You can park wherever you want, just don't park facing the sun so it doesn't get too hot in here.
5:19
Jason Worff: Okay, perfect.
5:20
Jason Worff: I'll do exactly that.
5:21
Jason Worff: You know, like we we had this discussion about going and seeing Stormy, and you know, and then when I got with Stormy and we were talking, it was just like you were like, I'm not gonna make him the appointment.
5:32
Jason Worff: He's gotta put his big point pants on and make the appointment.
5:35
Jason Worff: Well, we both know that's not gonna happen.
5:37
Jason Worff: So just hey, I'm gonna make an appointment with Stormy.
5:40
Jason Worff: You get to pick, like what we talked about with my clients, you get to pick Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday.
5:45
Jason Worff: What day do you want to go see Stormy at 10 a.m.?
5:47
Jason Worff: Those are the three days she has opened.
5:49
Jason Worff: Just fine, we'll just do Wednesday.
5:50
Jason Worff: And then boom, here we are, several months later, every Tuesday, 10 a.m., going to see Stormy.
5:56
Erin Gray: I think that men have an innate desire to please their spouse or women.
6:03
Jason Worff: Yes.
6:04
Erin Gray: I think that women sometimes actually don't know what they want.
6:08
Erin Gray: So it actually makes it or feels confusing for men because like on the one hand, I know we joke, like you're like so particular, Erin, but I'm very clear in what I want and what I don't want.
6:18
Erin Gray: Like, I don't think that there's a lot of gray areas for me.
6:21
Erin Gray: I think I've gotten a lot better with like, no, I don't like that.
6:24
Erin Gray: And here's why I don't like that, or this is what I want, and here is why I want this.
6:28
Erin Gray: And and I think that this kind of comes back to like the whole feminist movement, which I'm not on board with, but I think we as women can say what we want from a very loving and wanting to be supported and nurtured place from our spouse.
6:41
Erin Gray: We don't have to come from the energy of an asshole or you're gonna do what I say.
6:47
Erin Gray: But I think as women, if we are more assertive and we just say, this is what I want, this is why I want it, I think it clears up so many miscommunications or things that arguments that could occur in the relationship because women, him and ha, most of the time, I don't say most of the time, but sometimes, right?
7:05
Erin Gray: Versus just being very direct and saying exactly what we want.
7:09
Jason Worff: Well, I I always think of like, cause all the little shorts or whatever, the little YouTube things that I watch, and they're always they always default to like, what do you want to eat?
7:19
Jason Worff: I'm hungry, feed me.
7:20
Jason Worff: Okay, what do you want to eat?
7:21
Jason Worff: And you list off a bunch of things.
7:23
Jason Worff: And if you were just say, I want Chick-fil-A fries, take me there.
7:27
Jason Worff: Boom, take you there, done.
7:30
Jason Worff: So, like the hemming and the hong, I don't know what I want to eat.
7:32
Jason Worff: Well, how about we just get you something until you can figure out the further down the road of what you want?
7:38
Jason Worff: How do we fix, you know, because I don't know, do guys, I know I do, just want to solve problems, want to make the situation a little bit better, like what we talked about yesterday when you were like, I want to have a long-term game plan of an accomplishment of something in the physical, whether it's hiking something or riding something or whatever it is.
7:56
Jason Worff: And I'm like, okay, what if you do this, this, this, and this?
7:58
Jason Worff: And you're like, I didn't want all that.
7:59
Jason Worff: I just wanted to tell you something, but then you have to come out and it's like, I think my brain, and I'm not gonna speak for all the guys, but my brain is wired to, okay, this is what she wants to do.
8:10
Jason Worff: Let me go solve it.
8:11
Jason Worff: Like when we went to the plant store yesterday, you were like, I want the hydrangea trees and I want some peonies, and oh, okay.
8:19
Jason Worff: So I went and talked to the neighbor lady.
8:21
Jason Worff: Hey, are these gonna work in our yard for our sun, for our sun exposure and all those things?
8:26
Jason Worff: Yes, okay, fine.
8:28
Jason Worff: I'll get the truck emptied out today and I'll go get you those things because that's what you asked for, so on and so forth.
8:34
Erin Gray: So yeah, I think that the this goes back to like a deeper level of communication because I didn't say to you, hey, I'm in the beginning stages of a challenge for my body.
8:44
Erin Gray: I just want to brainstorm with you.
8:46
Erin Gray: And so I wasn't more clear on the front end with you because you are correct.
8:51
Erin Gray: I think a lot of times men want to problem solve.
8:53
Erin Gray: I mean, I know my dad always did that for my mom.
8:55
Erin Gray: And then my mom would be like, I just want you to listen to me.
8:58
Erin Gray: And it's like, I don't think innately, biologically, men actually just want to listen.
9:02
Erin Gray: I think they want to serve and please and help and support their spouses, which is actually a very natural thing to do.
9:11
Erin Gray: I think as we as women, we can be more clear and we can say, like I should have said when we were sitting out on the patio last night, hey, I'm in the very beginning stages.
9:20
Erin Gray: I just want to brainstorm right now.
9:21
Erin Gray: I don't want to problem solve or like figure out what I want to do.
9:25
Erin Gray: Or maybe that's even something I just should have kept to myself and been like, hey, Aaron, let this percolate for a little bit and then share it.
9:33
Erin Gray: And I also think, like going back to human design, if 70% of us are sacral beings where we are yes or no, when you ask me what do I want for dinner, I'm like the deer in the headlights versus understanding what your human design is and also moving from that place of like, but if you ask me, do you want Thai food, I will sell you yes or no.
9:53
Erin Gray: Do you want specific, if you give me specific things that I can say yes or no to, then that is where.
9:58
Erin Gray: And I think a lot of us don't know our human design and we don't know how we make decisions.
10:04
Erin Gray: So we think we're being helpful by saying a blanket, like, what do you want for dinner?
10:09
Erin Gray: But for most of us, we're like, uh, but if you're like, you want McDonald's, which we don't eat McDonald's, but you know what I mean?
10:14
Erin Gray: Like, you want McDonald's?
10:15
Erin Gray: No.
10:16
Erin Gray: You want Thai food?
10:17
Erin Gray: Yes.
10:18
Erin Gray: You want Mexican?
10:19
Erin Gray: No.
10:19
Erin Gray: You know what I mean?
10:20
Erin Gray: So it's like that, I think going to this deeper level of communication of like, how does your spouse actually need to be heard?
10:28
Erin Gray: How does the conversation like, you know what I mean?
10:31
Erin Gray: Like versus I'm trying to help you.
10:33
Erin Gray: And I think both parties at the end of the day, both parties want to please their spouse.
10:37
Erin Gray: It's just sometimes we don't know how to communicate effectively and be more direct and to like, I think so often we don't even know what our own wants are.
10:47
Erin Gray: So we're trying to have somebody else figure out and help us, and we don't even know what our own wants are, right?
10:52
Erin Gray: So starting with us individually, whether you're a man or a woman, of like, what do you actually want and being very clear because I think that's something that you and I've had to work on is me saying exactly how I feel and allowing you to have your own feelings with that.
11:07
Jason Worff: And if you were to just say, hey, will you get me this?
11:11
Jason Worff: It would occur.
11:12
Jason Worff: But I know that's not how the communication part works for human site.
11:16
Jason Worff: Just tell me what you want and I will achieve it.
11:19
Jason Worff: Just and that's why I used that plant example.
11:22
Jason Worff: You said you want this one, this one, you took pictures of it, so it's in my phone.
11:26
Jason Worff: Boom.
11:26
Jason Worff: Yep, it'll be here next week.
11:28
Jason Worff: There you go.
11:28
Jason Worff: Problem solved.
11:30
Erin Gray: What season of marriage do you think stretched us the most and why?
11:34
Jason Worff: I don't know what you mean by season of marriage.
11:36
Erin Gray: Or like when maybe when Grayson was littler, or like different, if you can think about different parts of our marriage, of I say seasons, like maybe specific months or years that we have as we've evolved and grown closer together, were there any, was there or is there anything that comes to mind for you that you feel like was some working through for us to then get to where we are now?
12:04
Jason Worff: Uh I think definitely when Grayson was a newborn, that all went on to you.
12:10
Jason Worff: And I just said, okay, I just have to work and make money, and then all the problems would be solved.
12:17
Jason Worff: I mean, I didn't know it was our first kid, obviously, or only.
12:20
Jason Worff: So it's like, I go work, bring home money, you raise baby and work and clean, and you were doing all, and we had these discussions.
12:30
Jason Worff: You're like, you know, I was doing this and this and this and this and this, and I was like, oh my gosh, because I was out of the house.
12:35
Jason Worff: I would, and the only thing you ever sent me was, okay, you're, you know, sometimes you would send me a text message like I'm having a hard day, or Grayson spit up, or whatever it happened to be.
12:46
Jason Worff: You know, there were just things like that, but it wasn't like you never expressed to me that that I can remember, at least you probably do remember that you were overwhelmed or the boat was sinking, all those other things.
12:57
Jason Worff: So I, at least in my mind, that was hard because then when we called on our support system, there was nobody to.
13:05
Jason Worff: I remember trying to call and be like, hey, can you come over?
13:08
Jason Worff: Just watch Grayson for a couple hours, let you know, let Erin do whatever she needs to do, just not have a hundred percent attention, and then was like, yeah, I got something else going on.
13:17
Jason Worff: So there were all those little stories that we had.
13:19
Jason Worff: I know that was tough.
13:21
Jason Worff: I know it was hard on me when I was going through some career changes.
13:24
Jason Worff: That was just like quiet time for me, where I don't think I was being a husband, I was being a dad, I wasn't being a friend, whatever you want to call it.
13:34
Jason Worff: I know I kind of had checked out is the best way to say it.
13:38
Jason Worff: Because like in the in the earlier, like I go work, make money, and then it's like, okay, I'm going through some career changes now, trying to figure out what I want to do next.
13:45
Jason Worff: And it's like, what do I do?
13:47
Jason Worff: How do I provide and do that part?
13:50
Jason Worff: So those were the challenges.
13:52
Jason Worff: Uh, and I don't know if you have a follow-up question for like where it's really blossomed for us or whatever you want to say, but I definitely think you and me working for a common goal and be that with my company now, you're just like, I think that's been a lot of fun, shared times.
14:10
Jason Worff: It's not like, okay, let's cook together, or let's go for a walk together, or go for a bike ride, or go ride the chairlift and go ski together and do all that kind of fun stuff.
14:22
Jason Worff: Where it's like, oh no, let's, you know, let you, let Aaron teach me QuickBooks.
14:28
Jason Worff: Let me show you how to do SEO stuff and like watching me grow as the business partner with you and all those things, like, oh my gosh, like this has been a lot of fun.
14:39
Jason Worff: And it's a different shared experience than you know, our normal outside outdoor activity lifestyle experiences.
14:48
Erin Gray: I think also, too, that back when Grayson was little, which was what, 14 years ago, we were very different people.
14:55
Erin Gray: And I know for myself, I was not emotionally regulated.
14:59
Erin Gray: So everything felt like like running, you know, the family business.
15:04
Erin Gray: And then I also was like helping my grandfather with all of his trust and estate planning stuff.
15:09
Erin Gray: And then I had a newborn that I was taking care of all the time, which you don't know until you do, right?
15:16
Erin Gray: And then relationship stuff with you.
15:18
Erin Gray: And I think not having the tools that we have now, like I always think about, and everything happened perfectly just as it should to be where we are now.
15:27
Erin Gray: So it's never like feeling a regret or feeling like, oh, I wish it was different.
15:31
Erin Gray: But I am always curious, like, what would it have been like had I been more regulated?
15:36
Erin Gray: Had I had done some of this work that I've done over the last seven years, if I had done that before we had Grayson, so that, you know what, everything didn't always feel like this mountain that I was having to take care of or to solve or all of those things.
15:52
Erin Gray: So I think when you're in that state of survival of what I call it, right?
15:56
Erin Gray: Like that fight or flight, and you are just like trying to put one foot in front of the other, any little thing feels like a really big thing because number one, your nervous system is at that state on a consistent basis.
16:08
Erin Gray: And two, you don't have the tools to process emotions and to work through things and to, you know, I think we've always been a good team and I've always seen you as a partner.
16:18
Erin Gray: But I definitely think back then there were times where I felt very alone because, like you said, like I think the biological of the man is like, okay, I think I'm doing well because I'm going out and I'm providing for my family.
16:31
Erin Gray: And from the woman's point of view, it's like, I just want 10 minutes by myself where I can just not receive phone calls from employees, not have a baby wanting to nurse, not having my grandfather call me about questions about his estate.
16:45
Erin Gray: And that is a feeling which comes from, you know, our thinking, but like this feeling of aloneness of like nobody gets me, nobody understands what I'm going through versus if I would have had tools like going to store me with emotional release therapy, EFT, the tapping, the journaling, the just giving yourself more space in the day to not have everything so jam-packed.
17:07
Erin Gray: What would it have been like?
17:08
Erin Gray: You know, who knows?
17:09
Erin Gray: But I just think that all of those things could exist right now.
17:13
Erin Gray: And I think we would handle them very differently.
17:15
Erin Gray: So I want listeners to know that it's not the circumstances that what is creates all of the feelings within you.
17:22
Erin Gray: It's like, what is your actual state of being and how do you feel on a consistent basis is what's creating all of what you're experiencing in the out in the outside world.
17:31
Jason Worff: And I also think, like, because you brought it up, being aware of like what your spouse might need and not being able, like, I've always like, you know, been up on myself or been proud of myself because like you can see, like, okay, that's a situation over there that needs to be taken care of, that needs to be taken care of over there.
17:47
Jason Worff: But then you're coming home and you're not like, you know, maybe my wife, you know, needs to go out in the car by herself and just escape the house.
17:56
Jason Worff: And and of course I gave that to you, but it was you, I think you had to ask for it, or you know, because I thought in my brain, I had to be at work, or else I was gonna get in trouble at work, like, oh, you got to be there, you know, Monday through Saturday, seven to seven, you know, work your 12-hour days six days a week, and provide in that sense, but then you forget that there's other people at home.
18:22
Jason Worff: And, you know, when you work with similar-minded males, yeah, where everybody's in that same position.
18:30
Jason Worff: Like, how many of us at work had newborns, babies, toddlers, kids that needed the spousal help?
18:39
Jason Worff: And your boss is the same way because that's the way he raised his family.
18:42
Jason Worff: And then the one guy above you, that's the way, and it's just like, oh no, no, your wife stays home, she takes care of the kids, and that's her problem.
18:50
Jason Worff: You're here at work, and these are all your problems at work.
18:53
Jason Worff: And then when you get home, you gotta sort that out and figure that out.
18:57
Jason Worff: So being aware that, like, hey, no, no, no, the the home life should be coming first because that's who is gonna be there, you know, in in the 20 years if you want to retire from that, or you know, in the 10 years because you wanted to do a little life change and you didn't want to be inside anymore, whatever it happens to be.
19:15
Jason Worff: But your spouse and your family are the ones that are gonna be there.
19:18
Jason Worff: And did you somewhat neglect them, you know, or put them on a different tier because you thought work had to come first?
19:26
Erin Gray: Yeah, I also think I had very different feelings around money back then, too.
19:32
Erin Gray: I mean, obviously I wasn't emotionally regulated, and my fear around not having enough money, even though we did.
19:38
Erin Gray: I remember I was leaning over Grayson's crib, and you asked me, Do you want me to take like a leave of absence?
19:45
Erin Gray: And my first thought was, how are we going to continue to save and how are we gonna continue to meet our goals?
19:52
Erin Gray: And like, it wasn't like, oh, like now, if that were the case, it'd be like, we'll just figure it out.
19:56
Erin Gray: We'll just figure out how to make more money later or whatever the case might be.
19:59
Erin Gray: But back then it was just like a terrifying, like, yes, I wanted you to, and like, how's that gonna work financially?
20:05
Erin Gray: Like, that is where my brain went immediately.
20:07
Erin Gray: And I think that that clouded so many of my decisions back then around working and being off and doing all of the things because I was constantly so fixated on money, I was confused, confusing that with safety and security.
20:24
Erin Gray: What have we learned about money, success, and what actually matters?
20:28
Erin Gray: This kind of ties into what we were just talking about.
20:30
Jason Worff: I mean, I think we, yeah, it is ex like what we were just talking about.
20:34
Jason Worff: I think you can say that.
20:36
Jason Worff: So I I'm I'm going down the route of does making money mean you're successful?
20:42
Jason Worff: And on one hand, yes, like if you're a business owner, you know, you you have to say, yes, things are paying for themselves now.
20:53
Jason Worff: We're no longer doing owner contributions, as we would have put into the QuickBooks, you know.
20:59
Jason Worff: And like, so it is nice that the that it's not necessarily self-supportive, but it's getting closer and closer to being self-supporting.
21:08
Jason Worff: So, yes, to me, that is successful, but also me being having the freedom right now is feeling very successful.
21:18
Jason Worff: Getting another client is feels successful, and not in terms of, oh, that's going to be more money, but like there's the okay, this is working.
21:27
Jason Worff: This is like what we always talk about with the train or the plane taking off.
21:30
Jason Worff: Like we are moving down the runway now, you know, we're doing good.
21:34
Jason Worff: So the money part successful, but also the tying it back to being at home and being being more present.
21:44
Jason Worff: And I don't know if I'm if I've strayed off the question too much, but I feel like today you were like, hey, let's, you know, because we were trying to fit into both of our schedules, and it wasn't because we were both doing things, it was like there were other household things that we were doing.
21:57
Jason Worff: The weather was nice.
21:58
Jason Worff: So we're like, oh, let's go to These farmers' markets, and there are all these other things that we were skipping on doing this episode.
22:04
Jason Worff: But it's like, okay, yeah, if I was in a different position, I wouldn't be able to do the Zoom call with you because I'd be tied into something at work.
22:11
Jason Worff: Or, but you know, having more freedom, I think, gives you successful.
22:15
Jason Worff: So repeat the question so I know because I think I've strayed off way too far.
22:20
Erin Gray: No, what have we learned about money, success, and what actually matters?
22:23
Erin Gray: Like, I think we have redefined.
22:24
Erin Gray: Yeah, yeah.
22:26
Erin Gray: I'm like, you're not straight off.
22:28
Jason Worff: Is opening up that time in your schedule to be able to do things and being like not set, well, not six days a week, 12 hour days.
22:37
Jason Worff: There is a machismo effect of like working that grind and doing that.
22:43
Jason Worff: That when I guess when you're younger and single, that sounds good.
22:46
Jason Worff: But to me, it's like, no, I can go take my daughter to school in the morning, and I'm not feeling rushed and you know, florined out of the school parking lot because I got to get to work by a certain time.
22:58
Jason Worff: So that does feel, I don't know if it necessarily feels successful, but it's definitely given me a better priority to say, okay, this feels more is congruent to the word.
23:10
Jason Worff: This feels more congruent with the lifestyle I want to live.
23:13
Jason Worff: I don't want to be rushing around like we always say, we see people on the road.
23:16
Jason Worff: Everybody's rushing to get to work.
23:17
Jason Worff: Everybody's rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing.
23:20
Jason Worff: It's like, nope, take some time.
23:21
Jason Worff: Like you've taught me, sit down and eat your lunch.
23:24
Jason Worff: Don't eat your lunch, you know, hovered over the hood of a car with partially clean hands, which is what I did for whatever many years.
23:31
Jason Worff: You know, no, sit down, eat your lunch, even if it's just on the curb or sitting down in a cooler, you can sit down and eat your lunch.
23:38
Jason Worff: You don't have to be working while trying to inhale a burrito or whatever it happens to be.
23:44
Erin Gray: I think for me, the way I used to think about success was how much money did you have?
23:49
Erin Gray: Or how like successful was a business.
23:52
Erin Gray: And now what I have modified it to is those things are important, right?
23:57
Erin Gray: Like it's fun to have money.
23:59
Erin Gray: It's fun to be able to go do the things that we've been able to do.
24:02
Erin Gray: Like we would not have been able to take the time off that we did if we didn't have the money that we had.
24:06
Erin Gray: So to say that money doesn't matter, it absolutely matters.
24:10
Erin Gray: At least in my world, it absolutely matters.
24:12
Erin Gray: And what also matters is what you're saying is to be present is what is the relationship like with yourself, with your body, with your spouse, with your child, with your parents, like all of your like those most important relationships.
24:26
Erin Gray: Like I know plenty of people that have so much money they will never be able to spend it in their entire lifetime, nor would their grandchildren be able to spend it, but they don't have the relationships, right?
24:35
Erin Gray: And so it's like it's a both and for me of like to have the money, to have the business, to have the relationships, to have the healthy body, to feel calm, to feel present, to feel confident, to feel at ease, to love yourself.
24:49
Erin Gray: Like it sounds cliche, but it's like that whole package.
24:52
Erin Gray: Like success, I think for so long, because of who I was around and maybe my role models was like success was just this piece, right?
24:59
Erin Gray: It was just money and business versus like, I want all of that.
25:02
Erin Gray: And I want all of it with ease.
25:04
Erin Gray: Not that it's not going to take effort, but the the feeling of having things like what you're saying, of like, we can have our business, we can have all of these things, and we can still wake up at when we want to wake up.
25:17
Erin Gray: We don't need to be waking up at five o'clock in the morning and hitting the gym and like hurry up and take your kid to school so you can drop them off to go do the next thing, you know?
25:25
Erin Gray: And so I think for me, of like redefining what success means, it's like it's a double, right?
25:31
Erin Gray: It's like I already am no matter what happens, right?
25:34
Erin Gray: Like no matter what happens in the world, no matter what 3D circumstance happens, like I already feel successful and love for myself and all of those external things are great as long as they are, I'm not the word that comes to mind is sacrifice.
25:50
Erin Gray: Like I I used to believe in order to feel or be successful, you had to sacrifice family time in order to have the money, right?
25:58
Erin Gray: Versus I'm gonna have all the money and I'm gonna have my family time and I'm gonna have my alone time and I'm gonna take care of my body and all of those things too.
26:07
Jason Worff: I think that's a good point.
26:08
Jason Worff: When you say the success doesn't have to, and I think that would sum up every the way I would feel the success doesn't have to equal a sacrifice because the 20 to 40 year old me definitely sacrificed time and whatever else, whatever other sacrifices you make, but they were a sacrifice for money.
26:33
Jason Worff: Yeah, that's how you made money.
26:34
Jason Worff: You left the house, you went and you worked for somebody else, and you gave them your time, and they gave you money.
26:40
Jason Worff: What and it doesn't have to be necessarily family life, it could just be whatever hobby you like to pursue.
26:47
Jason Worff: You know, I like to ride my bike, so I sacrificed riding my bike all last year, you know.
26:52
Jason Worff: So I went from riding every day to barely even riding on the weekends because I wanted to give my time to somebody else that would give me money in exchange for physical labor.
27:06
Jason Worff: I mean, that's as easy as it was.
27:08
Jason Worff: So so yeah, money doesn't mean you have to sacrifice for it.
27:11
Erin Gray: Yeah, for sure.
27:12
Jason Worff: And even if you enjoy what you do, you'd be like, Well, I'm not sacrificing, I really enjoy what I do.
27:17
Jason Worff: You're still giving up something to do that something because I've always really enjoyed what I did through all the different endeavors in my life.
27:25
Jason Worff: I've really always enjoyed it, but I'm still not with you.
27:29
Jason Worff: Missing out on, you know, a volleyball game for Grayson, missing out on, you know, dinner time with you guys, whatever it happens to be.
27:37
Jason Worff: There was always something in exchange.
27:39
Jason Worff: So maybe it's not a sacrifice, you know, but you're giving an exchange of time for the money and that time can be spent with somebody else.
27:48
Erin Gray: Yeah.
27:49
Erin Gray: And I think us going from that employee standpoint to then business standpoint, you know, really I think has changed a lot of things, like where you recognize like there is not money is created created through value.
28:01
Erin Gray: It's not created through time and hours spent.
28:03
Erin Gray: And I think that even though we that that you have liked what you have done, I think it comes back to the sovereignty and authority, maybe of like sometimes because we have taken off so much time to be with our with our daughter and with our family.
28:19
Erin Gray: And now we're in the season like, okay, let's go create more money now.
28:23
Erin Gray: And we're creating something that is legacy building.
28:26
Erin Gray: And so I think that now we come at it from the place of like we don't have to, we're choosing to.
28:32
Erin Gray: And when you come from it from that place, like, oh, okay, I'm choosing to maybe not go to her practice because what I mean, but I'm choosing to spend that time to work on my business.
28:42
Erin Gray: That feels very empowering versus I have to do this thing and I can't go see her practice or something like that.
28:49
Erin Gray: And I think it's a it's a mindset shift that we have also done in terms of now we're choosing what we want to do and we're being very intentional with our time versus somebody's telling me this is what I have to do.
29:04
Erin Gray: And so we think that that's, you know, and I think also, too, like when you've had success from saving and investing your money through the traditional working for somebody else route, you have so much evidence that sacrificing and working hard does get you there versus now what we are looking at is okay, we don't want to sacrifice anymore.
29:26
Erin Gray: We want to create assets that pay us indefinitely.
29:30
Erin Gray: And that is something that we're putting in the time and the effort now so that we can reap the benefits, you know, down the road versus okay, I'm just gonna save enough to finally get to a place where I can actually use this money.
29:42
Erin Gray: Tell me how has being with me challenged you to grow?
29:46
Jason Worff: I get nervous when you look down because I I know you're reading your screen, your your phone screen.
29:52
Jason Worff: I'm like, oh no, new question.
29:54
Jason Worff: Um, how has being with you challenged me to grow?
29:59
Erin Gray: Yeah.
30:00
Jason Worff: It it like it indefinitely, because there's a comfort zone that you can just settle into.
30:06
Jason Worff: There's a comfort zone of I'm gonna go back to work, comfort zone of coming home from work and sitting on front of the TV with a drink, whatever it happens to be, and and watching TV and doing something of that sort.
30:19
Jason Worff: But it's like, no, we like to cook.
30:23
Jason Worff: So now you gotta be, okay, we're not gonna be able to sit in front of the TV.
30:27
Jason Worff: We're gonna have to make something, make some food.
30:29
Jason Worff: We're gonna have to do something of that.
30:31
Jason Worff: So the pushing you outside of your comfort limits.
30:35
Jason Worff: I was just using that as the comfort thing.
30:38
Jason Worff: I I definitely feel like pushing you past.
30:41
Jason Worff: What would I have started my own business if it wasn't for you?
30:46
Jason Worff: Probably not.
30:47
Jason Worff: Really?
30:49
Erin Gray: You think so?
30:49
Jason Worff: Yeah.
30:50
Jason Worff: If I did, it wouldn't have been successful.
30:52
Jason Worff: Like I would own a truck and some chainsaws and be like, um, I'm a I'm I'm a business owner.
30:58
Jason Worff: Look at me.
30:59
Jason Worff: And it's like, do you have insurance?
31:01
Jason Worff: You know, are you licensed?
31:03
Jason Worff: Like all those little things that you brought into it.
31:05
Jason Worff: You know, are you doing your books?
31:07
Jason Worff: What books?
31:08
Jason Worff: You know, like we joked about like the accountant having the or the business owner having a shoebox of receipts.
31:14
Jason Worff: It's like, you know, like how are you marketing yourself?
31:18
Jason Worff: Are you advertising?
31:19
Jason Worff: There's so many things that you have brought to my attention of this is actually what it takes.
31:28
Jason Worff: You know, you can't just have generic insurance.
31:33
Jason Worff: You have to have very specific things and make sure you have the very specific things for whatever hazard you're going forth with.
31:43
Jason Worff: Do you just say, oh, I have my vehicle insurance and that's fine enough?
31:47
Jason Worff: Like, oh no, but you have to have commercial vehicles, like, there's all these different things that you've brought to the table.
31:53
Jason Worff: And I'm like, oh man, I really didn't know that that stuff existed.
31:58
Jason Worff: Then there's the challenges.
32:01
Jason Worff: There's definitely a personal growth that's occurred, and I'm hesitating because I'm trying to get the right word for it.
32:11
Jason Worff: I think like intellectually, you've caused me to grow.
32:15
Jason Worff: Emotionally, you've caused me to grow.
32:18
Jason Worff: And being aware that it's just not, I know I think a lot of what we're talking about is through for work things, and obviously that's very appropriate for you know your podcast, but being aware of my emotions, the things that I say, the the calmness that you've brought out in me.
32:39
Jason Worff: There's all these different things that you've done over the years that have taught me, okay, you know, sit back, take 30 seconds to process what just occurred, and then react.
32:53
Jason Worff: You know, be it five seconds even, and then react based upon that.
32:57
Jason Worff: Don't just go do something, stop, think, proceed.
33:02
Jason Worff: Then all just all the things that you've taught me, you know, you know, business-wise is what I mean by all the things that you've taught me of what it takes to run a business.
33:12
Jason Worff: Is I'm not gonna go down all the specifics because there's there's so many, but insurance and marketing and SEO stuff, all that.
33:21
Jason Worff: So website building, you know, having having a specific phone number for your business, you know, as opposed to your own personal cell phone number, you know, all those neat little things.
33:31
Jason Worff: And uh, I'm gonna add also that no one else is gonna do it.
33:36
Jason Worff: You gotta do it yourself.
33:38
Jason Worff: Yes.
33:39
Jason Worff: So that that's a very big one because when you're not the only person, when you're not the owner, you can be like, oh, somebody else has already done that or already figured it out or will end up doing that.
33:52
Jason Worff: But when you are the owner or the only person, it's like, oh, that somebody is now you, or in our case, also you.
34:01
Jason Worff: I'm pointing at you, Aaron, in the picture or in the video.
34:04
Jason Worff: So it's either gonna be me or her that does it.
34:07
Erin Gray: And if she doesn't have time to do it, this guy's gonna do it over here, or what you know, what you're talking about business-wise, like you're just talking about some of the stuff with business, or are you saying in general, like in our relationship and stuff?
34:19
Jason Worff: Well, it I think I think it rolls down to that as well.
34:22
Jason Worff: Like you you can say it that that's actually really good because on the business side, if I don't go to T-Mobile or whoever we use and get the second line added so that I have my own local area code for the business, then you're gonna have to do it.
34:38
Jason Worff: Okay, so on the personal side, if I don't make dinner, then you're gonna have to make dinner.
34:45
Jason Worff: I know we go back to food a lot with our conversation, but if I don't make dinner, you have to make dinner.
34:51
Jason Worff: If I don't start the dishwasher at night, then you're gonna have to start the dishwasher.
34:56
Jason Worff: Whatever it happens to be, it's there's gotta be that remembrance of, oh, if I do it, that's less than she has to do.
35:03
Erin Gray: You know, yeah, and not an over-responsibility, because I think that's one of the things that I have done.
35:08
Erin Gray: I think we both do it in our own right in different ways that we're learning about that.
35:12
Erin Gray: But I think just as partnerships, as husband and wife, wanting to make the other partner's experience be as simple and easy as it can be, and also not over what I call over-responsibilitying, like, but not overdoing all the things where there's not growth for you or there's not growth for me.
35:32
Erin Gray: And I think one of the things like we just experience, one of the things that we we are having to do is like what you said, is take some time to pause because it's in the, it's in the awareness.
35:43
Erin Gray: And many times the awareness happens after the fact, after the phone call has already happened, after you've already done all of these things that you're like, oh wait, hang on a second.
35:52
Erin Gray: I I need to be different here.
35:54
Erin Gray: I'm going off of that same pattern that I have been.
35:57
Erin Gray: How do I actually want to be?
36:00
Erin Gray: How do I want to feel?
36:01
Erin Gray: How do I want to move forward?
36:02
Erin Gray: And a lot of times what I think people don't realize is awareness happens after the phone call, after you've already done the thing, after you're like frustrated and all of the stuff.
36:12
Erin Gray: And then you're like, oh, wait, hang on a second.
36:14
Erin Gray: And it's in those moments that we are willing to experience that, then we get to ask the question, okay, so what is the growth?
36:22
Erin Gray: Right?
36:23
Erin Gray: We just, you and I just experienced this as parents.
36:26
Erin Gray: And it was like, okay, wait, where is the growth here?
36:28
Erin Gray: The simple thing, and I think for a lot of us overachievers or high achieving people, the simple thing is to just go do the thing because that's that's what we have done, that's what we do.
36:38
Erin Gray: It feels easy, it feels simple.
36:40
Erin Gray: We'll just take care of it.
36:41
Erin Gray: And the growth is actually, but where does that person actually have to meet us halfway?
36:47
Erin Gray: Where does that person or our children or our spouse or you know, in business?
36:51
Erin Gray: Like the growth sometimes is not doing, right?
36:55
Erin Gray: Letting, letting go of control, letting go of trying to do all the things, resting more.
37:01
Erin Gray: So yeah, I think I think the awareness happens after the fact.
37:05
Erin Gray: And too, I think the amazing thing about relationships are we get to experience ourselves in those other people, right?
37:13
Erin Gray: So when you are experiencing something, I get to see the contrast or I get to see where am I experiencing this through your lens and how can I shift?
37:24
Erin Gray: Where is my growth here?
37:26
Erin Gray: And we get to do that through having relationships, which I think is beautiful, versus thinking like, uh, my spouse is annoying me so much, versus, oh, where's the growth for them and where's the growth for me?
37:37
Erin Gray: Um, a couple more.
37:39
Erin Gray: Okay, so when have you felt most proud of us?
37:44
Jason Worff: I pause not to think about, or I pause to think about a specific one.
37:50
Jason Worff: Because there's a lot of stuff that we've done where I'm like, holy smokes, like what are your top five?
37:56
Jason Worff: Top five that would have never occurred.
37:58
Jason Worff: The travel and the places we've been through travel just amaze me.
38:02
Jason Worff: Like, I look back at it and I'm like, holy smokes, we have gone so many places for such long periods of time.
38:09
Jason Worff: It's not like, oh yeah, we were, you know, bouncing here, bouncing there, and doing all these things.
38:13
Jason Worff: Like, oh no, we went to here for this many months and here for this many months, and navigated foreign countries with rental cars, and like, you know, it's like there's just really interesting things.
38:25
Jason Worff: We're like, man, that's pretty cool.
38:27
Jason Worff: While bringing a child, not a baby, but while bringing a child, like, yeah, I know there were some places that was more resorty places we traveled when she was much smaller.
38:36
Jason Worff: So yeah, like I'm like, boom, that's that's pretty darn cool.
38:39
Jason Worff: Like, that's a neat, neat story.
38:41
Jason Worff: I think also relocating us as a family has been really neat.
38:47
Jason Worff: I mean, how many people do you do you know, do you meet that are like, oh yeah, I've lived within the same, you know, 10 mile radius of where they were born.
38:56
Jason Worff: You know, I have my sisters are examples of that.
38:59
Jason Worff: And so relocating three different states, you know, on our own and just figuring out how to do it, you mostly figuring out how to do it.
39:07
Jason Worff: This guy just kind of following along.
39:09
Jason Worff: I'm really proud of what we've created in the last, what is it, six months business-wise for me.
39:15
Jason Worff: We created it.
39:16
Jason Worff: Yes, I can say my business-wise, but yes, you are the creator of it.
39:21
Jason Worff: I just am the implementer of it.
39:23
Jason Worff: And I know you say you like to do that.
39:25
Jason Worff: Like you get the vision, and then somebody else has to implement it.
39:29
Jason Worff: Like, yeah, there's a good looking this way because my truck's parked in on the street, you know.
39:33
Jason Worff: Like, that's pretty darn neat.
39:35
Jason Worff: I'm really, really proud of that.
39:36
Jason Worff: When we send out my marketing material, I'm really, really proud of that.
39:39
Jason Worff: Like, that's our little, we call it our our little baby, our new little baby, you know, that we're growing and we're we're building up.
39:47
Jason Worff: So really proud of where we've become as parents.
39:49
Jason Worff: That's pretty, I'm really, really proud where we've come from for our relationship with each other.
39:57
Jason Worff: We're not just a husband and wife.
40:00
Jason Worff: We're like, we truly are, I think, best friends.
40:02
Jason Worff: Yes.
40:03
Jason Worff: I don't know if that's how you would term it.
40:05
Jason Worff: Yes.
40:05
Jason Worff: I know, absolutely, but we we've called it something else in in the past.
40:09
Jason Worff: Instead of like the best friends, it's like your little, your, your chosen soul, or there was some little cutesy little thing we called it.
40:16
Jason Worff: I don't want to go hang out with the boys, I want to hang out with my wife.
40:19
Jason Worff: Like, that's so much more fun for me.
40:21
Jason Worff: And then just not like, oh man, what are we gonna do for the next 10 years?
40:25
Jason Worff: It's like, oh man, what are we gonna do for the next 10 years?
40:28
Jason Worff: Like this, there's gonna be some weird, crazy things that are gonna occur, probably.
40:32
Jason Worff: Like, it's fun.
40:33
Jason Worff: It I'm I'm really, really proud of where we've developed as a relationship and how we tackle things as like it's not, it's I I don't sometimes like there there could be like a not necessarily between me and you, but there there could be a married couple, like it's you versus me, as opposed to like with a situation like, oh, it's it's him versus her as a situation as opposed to them versus the problem or whatever the situation is.
41:01
Jason Worff: Like, well, we just you know, it's like, oh, how do we solve this problem as opposed to what are you gonna do to fix this or whatever it happens to be?
41:10
Erin Gray: Yeah.
41:10
Erin Gray: I think we look at things very much so as like we're a team, like I always say, like, and you always say this about us like we make a really good team, like we are a really good team.
41:19
Erin Gray: And I know you joke about like, well, I have the vision and I have the creator, and then you implement, but I think that that's where you really love to be.
41:27
Erin Gray: And I really love to be in the imagination and the creation of things, and you like to physically like do the thing, right?
41:34
Erin Gray: Like I'm gonna be the one that's like, I want to have hydrangea trees, and you're gonna be like, I'm gonna go get them, right?
41:39
Erin Gray: And I'm gonna plant them for you.
41:41
Erin Gray: Or like, I have this about you know our business, and then here you go implement it and you love that.
41:46
Erin Gray: And so I think that we both have skill sets that offset or impl or complement the other, you know, like it it wouldn't really work so well if we had two creators.
41:58
Erin Gray: Uh, you are creative, I don't want to say that you are very creative and you're very imaginative, but I I think I am definitely the one that's like vision casting 10 years down the road, and then you get to like give me feedback and but then you go do the thing.
42:12
Erin Gray: Like it wouldn't, it wouldn't work if we had two of me that were always visioning, but not actually doing the thing, you know.
42:18
Jason Worff: I'm looking at my mailers here and I'm like, okay, you're the one who's I don't want to say so proud of yourself, but yeah, you did that in the bed, playing on your phone, created a new mailer and had a 97% done product.
42:33
Jason Worff: And then I called to our staples rep and I said, Okay, this is what we got.
42:36
Jason Worff: Forwarded her the things we went back and forth a few times, boom, a box gets delivered by the UPS man.
42:43
Jason Worff: Okay, now what?
42:44
Jason Worff: Okay, now they got to be sorted, all the direct mail things and then brought to the post office.
42:48
Jason Worff: So all your creation was just which I don't want to sit there and try to create a new thing, but I can certainly implement that going forward.
42:57
Jason Worff: So there was just one really good example of that.
42:59
Jason Worff: You use the hydrangeas, but it's like I'll use the mailers, is like, oh, there we go, boom, done, you know.
43:04
Erin Gray: And I think the other thing too that I'm most proud, and this will make me cry.
43:08
Erin Gray: I think that we have created a life that we have wanted and we have changed every, at least for me on my end, I've changed every single dynamic of how I grew up.
43:23
Erin Gray: My marriage is vastly different than what I had an example of.
43:29
Erin Gray: And I and I am so grateful to my parents because I had that contrast, right?
43:32
Erin Gray: But like my marriage is because it is, because of the work that we put into it and the effort.
43:38
Erin Gray: And also I had a contrast of like, okay, what do I want and what do I don't want?
43:42
Erin Gray: Our relationship with our businesses are vastly different because of having contrast with people, you know, how we parent.
43:51
Erin Gray: We are as friends and lovers and partners in like all areas of our life.
43:57
Erin Gray: Like we are, like, I feel like.
43:59
Erin Gray: Every little area of my life, I have taken all of those nuggets from them, from my parents, from my experiences, and then tweaked it to how I wanted to have a life that I absolutely am in love with, that I never want to retire from.
44:16
Erin Gray: That, you know, when you say like the next 10 years, I'm like, man, I can't even imagine like all of the goodness that's gonna continue to, you know, like we we look forward to where we're going.
44:26
Erin Gray: It's not like, oh gosh, look at all that fun that we did have, but what's not smoked about the future and what's next, you know?
44:34
Erin Gray: And my relationship with our daughter and just all of it.
44:38
Erin Gray: Like, I really feel like I have re kind of like gone back through the video game and re-rehashed it or replayed the game to create how I wanted to have a life.
44:50
Erin Gray: Okay, so this kind of already like sums up what you have said.
44:55
Erin Gray: Like, what this is more legacy, because I think that we can sometimes be so in the minutia of business or partnerships or parenting.
45:04
Erin Gray: But it's like, what do you feel like that we are creating, like legacy building?
45:10
Erin Gray: Like, what are we really building in your eyes?
45:13
Jason Worff: So, what what I like to think about is you and I are creating an example for at least for our daughter.
45:23
Jason Worff: And uh, because you you obviously you you go out there to a lot more business people than I go out there, but I am talking to more business owners now, you know, more tradespeople.
45:32
Jason Worff: But for the most part, my example setting down towards our daughter would be having a business is really, really nice as opposed to working for somebody.
45:43
Jason Worff: And I and I don't want to say either way, because some people might want to just be like, you know what, it is nice just to work my eight to five and come home and not have to worry about anything.
45:52
Jason Worff: But I think at least for me and my work ethic and everything that I've ever contributed to employers has always been like they really do miss me when I'm gone because of the effort that I put in, because of the just of just me being a little bit extra.
46:08
Jason Worff: And, you know, when when we were thinking about doing this for me or for us, but you know, there was like we're we're over here building someone else's dreams.
46:19
Erin Gray: Yeah.
46:19
Jason Worff: And what are we doing to build our dreams based on that?
46:23
Jason Worff: So what kind of legacy do I want to do?
46:27
Jason Worff: What do I want to leave for our daughter?
46:31
Jason Worff: Is there is something, you know, and my dad had his own businesses.
46:37
Jason Worff: I think I was maybe a little bit too young, maybe a little bit too, I want to go out and drive cars and have fun with my buddies and stuff like that, that I didn't pay enough attention to it.
46:46
Jason Worff: But there was definitely something like, huh, interesting that that didn't my parents ever talk to me about, hey, do you want to do this kind of business for yourself?
46:55
Jason Worff: You want to pay attention to him?
46:57
Jason Worff: And maybe I was too young to to have picked up on a lot of that.
47:01
Jason Worff: And I wasn't too young, I was our daughter's age.
47:03
Jason Worff: But there was never that conversation of, hey, you could do this or you could go work for somebody, like make that decision for yourself.
47:12
Jason Worff: It was no go to college and then go work for somebody, and that's just the role I took, or the the route I took, rather.
47:19
Jason Worff: So definitely there's other options than just going to work for somebody, or at least having that dream to say, you know, I am gonna go work for somebody, but I do want to go work for myself one day.
47:31
Jason Worff: I want to figure out what I want to do, and also that it doesn't have to be an eternity thing.
47:38
Jason Worff: You know, it doesn't have to be 25, 30 years to retirement.
47:42
Jason Worff: Maybe it is something that, you know, you do this for a few years, you do this for a few years, you do this for a few years, and you take all that, you meld together, which I think is where I am.
47:50
Jason Worff: You took all those experiences, you meld them together, and be like, okay, now it's my turn.
47:54
Jason Worff: I'm gonna do this for my for myself.
47:56
Erin Gray: And I think too, the way that we've been brought up, right, as a society is like going and working for somebody else versus, and then that, you know, you're saving and this retirement thing, which I don't even believe in anymore, but like this retirement thing of, you know, you say for 20 plus 30 years versus we are the asset, like we are our retirement and putting all of your the investment in yourself, in your mind, in your skill set so that you can have a business that can, you know, have cash flow that you can then have people work for with you, you know, and that that is legacy building.
48:34
Erin Gray: That to me is like betting on yourself, you know, above, which is the rate of return is so much better than any stock or whatever investment that we've been told to invest in, like our mind, our skill sets, what we are creating, like that will pay dividends for years to come versus depending on whatever the stock market does or whatever that might be.
48:58
Erin Gray: Any last imparting words that you want to, I don't know, either from a marriage place, a money, or business, and it could be and all three of those that you want to give to the listeners what you've learned or things to think about, ponder, lasting words.
49:14
Jason Worff: Well, I wanted to go back to, and maybe this is part of this question and part of the the earlier question, but it's like, I think that the betting on yourself is a good uh motto, a good slogan to go with.
49:28
Jason Worff: You know, bet on yourself.
49:31
Jason Worff: Are you are you building your dream?
49:32
Jason Worff: That that's that's because that was the previous statement I made.
49:35
Jason Worff: Are you building your dream or are you building somebody else's dream?
49:38
Jason Worff: I know that I contributed a lot in building someone else's dream.
49:43
Jason Worff: And then when you decide to build your own, that there was a lot of anger involved with that, which was very not on my side, which it was was very like, hey, I want to do my thing, I want to build my dream.
50:01
Erin Gray: And I'm you're saying someone else felt anger, like previous employers felt anger when you wanted to leave.
50:07
Erin Gray: Yeah, because you're so good, you're so amazing.
50:10
Jason Worff: As opposed to so, like, like the parting, the parting wisdom is you're probably gonna ruffle some feathers.
50:17
Jason Worff: You want to build your dream.
50:19
Jason Worff: So for you to be a happier person, somebody else might take it offensively, but temporarily, yeah.
50:28
Erin Gray: And that's okay.
50:29
Jason Worff: And yeah, like it, and it's and it's really nothing that you did.
50:33
Jason Worff: For sure.
50:34
Jason Worff: That's all in them, other than everything that you did, everything that you did, you know, and now they're like, oh man, we're losing you, but why can't you just be in celebration of that?
50:44
Jason Worff: So I I know I'm I'm going off a different tangent there, but build your dream, have fun doing it.
50:51
Jason Worff: And I I think it's the working every day to say, you know, and and and I I I use it because you know, it's like, what did you do today to build your dream a little bit more?
51:05
Jason Worff: Like the little micro jobs, if you will.
51:07
Jason Worff: It's like, okay, there might not have been, you know, the full-fledged work work today, but I did this, this, and this, or just this, and that moved me one rung higher on that ladder or one more cog down the road of moving forward.
51:25
Erin Gray: Yeah.
51:25
Erin Gray: I think, you know, like what they say, like, when's the best time to plant a tree?
51:28
Erin Gray: Yesterday.
51:29
Erin Gray: Okay, when's the next best time today?
51:31
Erin Gray: It's like the time is gonna pass regardless.
51:34
Erin Gray: So why aren't you building something that you love, that you never have to retire from, that you wake up every day excited to do it, and that you are able to grow in the process of it, along with, I think obviously we got to be doing all the emotional and the nervous system regulation work because like just building what you want to build and still feeling how you felt before doesn't feel any different.
51:59
Erin Gray: So it's those marriage and combination of those two things.
52:02
Erin Gray: But I mean, I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that went into entrepreneurship, maybe I haven't talked to them, but you know, like, hey, I wish I would have still stayed at my job.
52:11
Erin Gray: Like, even in those hardest, darkest hours, at least you're doing it for yourself.
52:17
Erin Gray: You're doing it for your family, you're doing it for the people that you serve.
52:20
Erin Gray: You're not doing it for somebody else's empire.
52:22
Erin Gray: And I think more of us need to, I have full body chills, more of us need to bet on ourselves, believe in ourselves, and like go all in on us because we are the most important asset.
52:36
Jason Worff: Yeah.
52:36
Jason Worff: And when you said that, it's like, you know, the the planting of the tree.
52:41
Jason Worff: When was the best time yesterday?
52:43
Jason Worff: When's the next best time today?
52:44
Jason Worff: It's like we you and I have this conversation, man, where would this be if we started this when I first had that idea?
52:51
Jason Worff: Because I know you wrote in your journal, you wrote Jason having a tree service or something of something of that terminology, and that was whatever, 2019.
53:00
Jason Worff: Let's call it that.
53:01
Jason Worff: I was like, man, like that's been on my mind for six plus years.
53:07
Jason Worff: And you know, maybe that wasn't the time to do it because that would have not allowed us to travel, because you wouldn't be able to, I guess we could have just wrapped it up for a little while, then restarted it, and then it would have just we would have known all these little tips and tricks that you know, marketing-wise for myself.
53:24
Jason Worff: Like, I was like, oh, well, that didn't work very well, so let's try this.
53:26
Jason Worff: No, well, that didn't work very well, so let's try.
53:28
Jason Worff: Anywho, it's like if you have the thought, like maybe that thought's coming there for a reason, because I don't know how you say it, like you have the thought because it already exists out there.
53:40
Jason Worff: I think that's one of your lines.
53:41
Jason Worff: I know that is one of your lines.
53:43
Jason Worff: I don't, I think that's the term terminology you use for one of your lines.
53:46
Jason Worff: The thought exists because it the thought you're how you have the thought because it already exists.
53:52
Erin Gray: So it's already within you, right?
53:54
Erin Gray: Like God put the two parts I say.
53:56
Erin Gray: I think what you're trying to get to is when we have the thought, someone else is wanting what we are creating, right?
54:03
Erin Gray: Like, so let's just take my business.
54:05
Erin Gray: My business came from there.
54:07
Erin Gray: Are women out there that want what I am offering, and they have so we are collectively creating together.
54:14
Erin Gray: And also the reason why we have specific thoughts, the reason why we have specific desires, they were put there in our heart, is from God, is through the divine intelligence and intervention in terms of like, I don't want to be a tree trimmer.
54:29
Erin Gray: I love all the back behind the scenes part of running the tree business, but I don't want to be a tree tree trimmer.
54:34
Erin Gray: But that is something that you love to do.
54:36
Erin Gray: And it was put there on your heart for you to express it and for you to fulfill that desire.
54:43
Erin Gray: And so I think we need to lean into those things.
54:47
Erin Gray: Like we, I don't, this comes back to self-trust.
54:49
Erin Gray: We don't truly trust that that desire was put in our heart for us to actually bring it to fruition, you know?
54:55
Erin Gray: Like I love to fly, but I don't really want to be a pilot.
54:58
Erin Gray: But I always wanted to learn how to surf.
55:00
Erin Gray: Like, okay, and now I surf.
55:01
Erin Gray: It's like those, those desires are there for us to cultivate, to bring them to the 3D realm.
55:09
Erin Gray: And so recognize that we all have special gifts and we all have desires, and those are there for us to actually experience them, not for us to doubt them, not for us to say, oh, somebody's doing it better than us.
55:22
Erin Gray: It's there for us to bring it in our way, in our special gift that we bring to the world.
55:28
Erin Gray: And you trim trees and work with customers like no other tree person I've ever dealt with, you know?
55:36
Erin Gray: So like honoring your gifts.
55:39
Erin Gray: I love you.
55:41
Jason Worff: Love you.
55:42
Erin Gray: But I think I think so many people doubt.
55:44
Erin Gray: So many people doubt, like we we downplay, we minimize what is on our heart.
55:50
Erin Gray: And I think if I could say anything about that, it's just like you don't know until you do.
55:55
Erin Gray: And it's really there for you to bring it.
55:57
Erin Gray: And so if we spent as much time believing in ourselves as we did doubting ourselves, where would we be?
56:04
Erin Gray: What would we create in the world?
56:05
Erin Gray: What would we have in our lives because we actually bet on ourselves and we we spent more time in that arena than we did in the doubt side.
56:12
Erin Gray: Okay.
56:14
Erin Gray: Anything else before we say goodbye?
56:16
Jason Worff: That's all I got.
56:17
Erin Gray: Okay.
56:18
Erin Gray: Okay.
56:18
Erin Gray: Thanks for playing.
56:20
Jason Worff: Of course.
56:21
Erin Gray: I love you.
56:22
Jason Worff: I love you.
56:23
Erin Gray: And I love each of you.
56:24
Erin Gray: I'll see you in the next episode.