Latest / Revisionist History / A Treat for the Die-Hards
Transcript
- 0:15Speaker 1: Pushkin. Hello, Hello, Hello, thank you for coming. My name
- 0:36Speaker 1: is Malcolm Baba. I am the most history baught to
- 0:44Speaker 1: you by pushing the industries. I think there's a whole
- 0:46Speaker 1: Not long ago, in a probably illogized experiment, all of
- 0:50Speaker 1: us at Revision's History decided to do two live shows,
- 0:54Speaker 1: one in New York and one in Philadelphia. All kinds
- 0:57Speaker 1: of people came to watch a little treat for the diehards,
- 1:01Speaker 1: and in the spirit of the experimentation, we thought we'd
- 1:03Speaker 1: share a few excerpts from those shows with all of you,
- 1:07Speaker 1: the real audience. And what hearing is me standing up
- 1:10Speaker 1: in front of the crowd confessing I have no idea
- 1:14Speaker 1: what's about to have. They tried to get me to
- 1:17Speaker 1: rehearse tonight. Didn't want to do it, so you're all
- 1:22Speaker 1: kind of guinea pigs, for which I apologize, but I'm
- 1:26Speaker 1: very excited. I broke out snazzy Adidas, Adidas seersucker, the
- 1:34Speaker 1: whole thing. This is. I rarely dress up, so this
- 1:37Speaker 1: is a very very big occasion for me. So what
- 1:40Speaker 1: we're gonna do is we At the time, I was
- 1:43Speaker 1: working on an episode of Revisionist History about a very
- 1:46Speaker 1: well known movie, almost a perfect movie, except the writers
- 1:50Speaker 1: had screwed up the ending. If you want to listen
- 1:52Speaker 1: to that episode, it's called Starstruck. You can check it
- 1:55Speaker 1: out in the feed. It goes in a million directions,
- 1:58Speaker 1: Gone with the Wind, Star was Born, Samuel Goldman Car
- 2:01Speaker 1: Accidents Atlanta. We hung out in graveyards and took a
- 2:04Speaker 1: group road trip to Margaret Mitchell's archives of the University
- 2:07Speaker 1: of Georgia, very revisionist history in mash up. But at
- 2:12Speaker 1: the live show, I just wanted to zero in on
- 2:14Speaker 1: the core question raised by the episode, which is what
- 2:18Speaker 1: makes an ending work? Because the truth is, most endings
- 2:23Speaker 1: don't work right. You sit in the movie theater and
- 2:26Speaker 1: at hour three of the Blockbuster, you think, did no
- 2:29Speaker 1: one at the studio give any thought about how to
- 2:32Speaker 1: wrap this thing up? That's what I wanted to get at.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Why are endings so hard? So in our New York
- 2:41Speaker 1: show at the town Hall, I invited the comedian Mike
- 2:44Speaker 1: Birbiglia up to the stage to join me in the discussion. Brilliant,
- 2:51Speaker 1: brilliant comedian, a member of the famous Georgetown University comedy Mafia,
- 2:55Speaker 1: which we can talk about with Mike if we want.
- 2:57Speaker 1: It's basically every indie comic worth their salt went to Georgetown.
- 3:01Speaker 1: I don't know why, what we do with frustrated Catholicism.
- 3:05Speaker 2: I'm not sure.
- 3:07Speaker 1: He's about to go on tour with his show Old
- 3:10Speaker 1: Man in the Pool, The Old Man in the Pool.
- 3:13Speaker 1: It's a brilliant, brilliant title, and so he we can
- 3:17Speaker 1: start with Mike, Mike, come on out.
- 3:20Speaker 2: I hope you back there.
- 3:35Speaker 3: Thanks.
- 3:37Speaker 4: This is my favorite podcast.
- 3:38Speaker 5: So it's a very strange sensation to be inside of
- 3:42Speaker 5: my favorite podcast.
- 3:44Speaker 6: I don't know how it is.
- 3:44Speaker 1: Go that man of mine. By the way, you weren't
- 3:48Speaker 1: offended when I said you were part of the Georgetown
- 3:50Speaker 1: University comedy move the legit. No, it's a description.
- 3:55Speaker 5: I mean, gosh, it's John mulaney and uh nik Krol,
- 3:59Speaker 5: Gavin Nick Krawl, Jackman Novak.
- 4:03Speaker 4: Yeah, there's just a whole bunch of them. Marling, Britt Marling,
- 4:06Speaker 4: There's just there's so many.
- 4:08Speaker 1: And by the way, Cooper, it's kind of unbelievable, you
- 4:12Speaker 1: remember that.
- 4:12Speaker 5: I'll tell you a funny thing about when I was
- 4:14Speaker 5: I intersected with Bradley Cooper. I never knew him except
- 4:17Speaker 5: that we were in theater at Georgia at the same time,
- 4:20Speaker 5: I may think maybe one year as a little older
- 4:22Speaker 5: than me, and he was most famous on campus for
- 4:26Speaker 5: being the most attractive person anyone had ever seen that.
- 4:30Speaker 6: I'm not even kidding. I'm literally a People would say,
- 4:33Speaker 6: have you seen Bradley Cooper? I swear to God, not
- 4:38Speaker 6: in a play? Have you seen him?
- 4:42Speaker 1: Yeah? That's gotta be hard.
- 4:45Speaker 4: My life could be really hard sometimes, Mike.
- 4:49Speaker 1: Okay. So, and the reason I wanted to talk to
- 4:51Speaker 1: you with endings because I feel like I've often felt
- 4:54Speaker 1: that no one's more obsessed with endings than I am.
- 4:56Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why. But and I say this
- 4:58Speaker 1: also to say that I think you might be as
- 5:01Speaker 1: obsessed as I am. I am someone who I will
- 5:05Speaker 1: very often read a thriller and stop five pages before
- 5:08Speaker 1: the end because I'm concerned that the author isn't going
- 5:12Speaker 1: to pull it off, and I I just don't want
- 5:16Speaker 1: to be there for that. I was like, all right,
- 5:18Speaker 1: it doesn't matter that I've spent three days getting to
- 5:20Speaker 1: page three hundred and ninety five. Yeah, I just I
- 5:23Speaker 1: can No.
- 5:24Speaker 5: No, I'm similarly obsessed, you know, but I go through
- 5:27Speaker 5: four or five endings before I land on an ending.
- 5:31Speaker 1: You don't start with the ende of of them.
- 5:33Speaker 6: No.
- 5:33Speaker 5: No, As a matter of fact, the old man in
- 5:34Speaker 5: the pool, I'm deliberating right now between two different, distinctly
- 5:38Speaker 5: different endings.
- 5:39Speaker 1: And what we describe the two options simply describe them emotionally.
- 5:43Speaker 1: Is there a difference in the emotional.
- 5:46Speaker 5: It's I can't give away what the ending is. It's
- 5:50Speaker 5: a little fundamentally, but you know what I'm kidding, But
- 5:52Speaker 5: you know what I'll do. I can tell you that
- 5:54Speaker 5: the two different endings for my last show, which is
- 5:56Speaker 5: called The New One and uh and one of them
- 6:01Speaker 5: is me and my wife and my daughter sort of
- 6:04Speaker 5: laughing together on the couch together in our house, and
- 6:08Speaker 5: I early you're in the show.
- 6:09Speaker 4: I talked about how the premise.
- 6:11Speaker 5: Of the show is I never want to have a child,
- 6:13Speaker 5: and the show is about and it's all the reasons
- 6:15Speaker 5: why I never want to have a child, and then
- 6:17Speaker 5: it's about how we had a child and how I
- 6:19Speaker 5: was right, uh and then and then and then the
- 6:24Speaker 5: emotional turn of it is that I was wrong and
- 6:27Speaker 5: and uh and and and and there. But there were
- 6:32Speaker 5: two different endings that we had along the way that
- 6:36Speaker 5: we're uh and and one of them is the one
- 6:39Speaker 5: that it is, which is my wife and daughter and
- 6:40Speaker 5: I are laughing together on the couch and I basically
- 6:43Speaker 5: I don't say this, but I say I basically become
- 6:45Speaker 5: all the cliches that of parents who I find so annoying,
- 6:50Speaker 5: which is like, I just want to see the world
- 6:52Speaker 5: through babies eyes.
- 6:54Speaker 1: You know, wait, we have that. Yeah, we actually show them,
- 6:56Speaker 1: we show oh yeah please, yeah, okay, okay, let's show this.
- 6:58Speaker 1: Let's just show this.
- 7:01Speaker 5: Who loved the couch?
- 7:02Speaker 1: She goes couchs wog ow, Wow.
- 7:12Speaker 7: She's a genius.
- 7:18Speaker 5: Three of us sit on the couchs in the department store.
- 7:23Speaker 5: None is hiding behind each of us, and we could where' zuona?
- 7:25Speaker 4: Where's Zuona?
- 7:26Speaker 5: She's clinging into my back because I spend The more
- 7:28Speaker 5: she clings, the more I'm committed.
- 7:29Speaker 1: Like where is Oh? Where is it?
- 7:33Speaker 5: And she starts laughing so hard, like the hardest I've
- 7:36Speaker 5: ever seen anyone laugh my whole life.
- 7:37Speaker 4: And I'm in the joke's business.
- 7:41Speaker 5: At this idea that she's tricking us, the people in power,
- 7:46Speaker 5: the people who know everything. She's fooled us completely at
- 7:49Speaker 5: least this once. And look, I know she's gonna grow
- 7:52Speaker 5: up and find out that the earth is singing in
- 7:54Speaker 5: the ocean. We might have to live in an almond
- 7:56Speaker 5: milk jug in Pennsylvania, and people can be horrible. But
- 8:00Speaker 5: as I'm staring at this monkey on a couch, I
- 8:04Speaker 5: feel like she might be one of the people who
- 8:05Speaker 5: changes that trajectory. She's laughing so hard that I start
- 8:10Speaker 5: laughing in a new way from my perspective and Jen's
- 8:14Speaker 5: perspective and Owner's perspective all at once, we're.
- 8:17Speaker 7: Laughing as one. And in that moment, I feel full.
- 8:33Speaker 7: I'm seeing the world through babies.
- 8:51Speaker 1: So what what's the work that ending's doing?
- 8:55Speaker 5: Oh?
- 8:55Speaker 1: So that ending is cheering up, cheering, cheering up, you
- 9:01Speaker 1: cheering up, watching yourself?
- 9:04Speaker 4: How dare you, sir?
- 9:06Speaker 1: At the town hall?
- 9:08Speaker 4: You call me out where we have our town meetings
- 9:11Speaker 4: every week? We're all at them right.
- 9:15Speaker 1: The uh, No.
- 9:18Speaker 7: It is.
- 9:18Speaker 5: It's emotional because it's it's about when my daughter was
- 9:21Speaker 5: eighteen months older and and she said, you know, seven
- 9:26Speaker 5: years old now, So it's a yeah, so that part
- 9:27Speaker 5: of its emotional. But yeah, So the goal of this
- 9:31Speaker 5: ending is the show really mocks to the point it
- 9:37Speaker 5: mocks people with children so mercilessly. If you never want
- 9:42Speaker 5: to have children and want to mock people who have children.
- 9:45Speaker 4: You're gonna love the first half.
- 9:47Speaker 1: Of this special.
- 9:49Speaker 4: For example, like when I like a year after this
- 9:52Speaker 4: came out. This came out a few.
- 9:53Speaker 5: Years ago, I was sent a Reddit thread that was
- 9:59Speaker 5: from like a child free community on Reddit, and I
- 10:04Speaker 5: have never seen a group of people more excited about
- 10:09Speaker 5: the first half of a comedy special because they don't
- 10:13Speaker 5: know it turns to me having a child, and then
- 10:16Speaker 5: they feel completely betrayed when I have then they hate it.
- 10:21Speaker 1: It's you know, that's one of my definitions of a story.
- 10:24Speaker 1: The definition of a story and an anecdote is a
- 10:27Speaker 1: story is a narrative that betrays through the listener's expectations. Right,
- 10:32Speaker 1: there must be an act of betrayal for the story
- 10:34Speaker 1: to work. Oh interesting, that's but.
- 10:37Speaker 5: Wait, so there's a bit, so there is a betrayal,
- 10:39Speaker 5: and then but then ultimately, with this ending, the goal
- 10:45Speaker 5: is to point out after all the cliches of like
- 10:48Speaker 5: seeing the world through baby's eyes and all this stuff,
- 10:51Speaker 5: and it's the most joy I've ever experienced, all these
- 10:53Speaker 5: things that you hear these.
- 10:56Speaker 4: Annoying parents say all the time. I concede that.
- 11:03Speaker 5: I have a moment of that, Yeah, a moment where
- 11:07Speaker 5: I'm seeing the world through of his eyes and and
- 11:10Speaker 5: and and to me, that's the essence of an the
- 11:13Speaker 5: type of ending I enjoy, not everybody enjoys. I enjoy
- 11:17Speaker 5: an ending where there's a hint of we understand that
- 11:23Speaker 5: the that the emotional journey of the story is this big,
- 11:28Speaker 5: we've we've swun to ball over the pendulum, but ultimately
- 11:33Speaker 5: the person, the character who we invest in changes this much.
- 11:38Speaker 5: So like one of my favorite endings of all time
- 11:40Speaker 5: is from the movie Big.
- 11:41Speaker 4: You know, Penny Marshall move with.
- 11:42Speaker 5: Tom Hanks and I wish I was big, And then
- 11:46Speaker 5: he goes to the carnival and then he's like.
- 11:48Speaker 4: A grown up and he has a girlfriend and a
- 11:50Speaker 4: job and all these things, and he literally and he
- 11:52Speaker 4: does the whole thing.
- 11:53Speaker 5: And then he gets to choose at the end, and
- 11:55Speaker 5: he's gonna he's gonna be big, he's gonna be small again,
- 11:58Speaker 5: and he chooses small, and there's this devastating moment where
- 12:02Speaker 5: she looks back at him and it's his child self
- 12:06Speaker 5: in a suit, and it's the visual metaph for of
- 12:10Speaker 5: what we've experienced. Because he's both he's both of those things,
- 12:14Speaker 5: and the change in him is imperceptible, but we know he's.
- 12:21Speaker 1: Changed probably this much. I'm going to go back to
- 12:26Speaker 1: your show for a moment. When you were doing that show,
- 12:29Speaker 1: did you have that turn in mind to that idea
- 12:31Speaker 1: that you were going to be moving just a little?
- 12:34Speaker 3: Was that in?
- 12:36Speaker 1: Did you start with that?
- 12:37Speaker 7: Yeah?
- 12:37Speaker 5: I think yeah, we because the alternate ending. I've literally
- 12:41Speaker 5: never spoken about this. We I performed an alternate ending
- 12:45Speaker 5: because I tore these shows for like numbers of years,
- 12:47Speaker 5: like Old Man in the Pool, the Joe i'mtarn Now.
- 12:50Speaker 5: I've toured for you know, for probably three plus years,
- 12:53Speaker 5: probably three and a half years, have been workshopping it,
- 12:56Speaker 5: and so this one was called the New One. I
- 13:00Speaker 5: had another ending where this true story where my wife
- 13:04Speaker 5: and daughter and I are on we go on a
- 13:07Speaker 5: vacation together to the beach in California and we're on
- 13:11Speaker 5: the beach and we're having this beautiful moment on the
- 13:14Speaker 5: beach and UNA's like, it's similar to this.
- 13:16Speaker 4: It's like it's like sand you know, like.
- 13:19Speaker 5: Osha waa, you know, it's similar as like she's a genius.
- 13:24Speaker 4: It's the same. It's sort of the same joke.
- 13:27Speaker 5: But then she picks up like a piece of plastic
- 13:30Speaker 5: from the beach and she's the spice garbage and it
- 13:34Speaker 5: invokes it evokes all of those feelings I have about
- 13:37Speaker 5: like we're just living in the dystopia and why are
- 13:41Speaker 5: we having children?
- 13:43Speaker 7: This is insane?
- 13:44Speaker 1: Right, I could see why you didn't go that.
- 13:47Speaker 5: End, Malcolm, how dare you in the location of our
- 13:52Speaker 5: weekly meetings?
- 13:55Speaker 4: You no, I know it was it was too sad,
- 13:58Speaker 4: too sad.
- 13:59Speaker 1: Yeah, it's too much movement. You wanted a little movie? Yes,
- 14:02Speaker 1: you don't want to.
- 14:03Speaker 5: So that's why that ending went away because ultimately people
- 14:06Speaker 5: would leave the theater and they would go like.
- 14:08Speaker 4: That made me feel sort of bad about stuff. But
- 14:12Speaker 4: the ending that but the ending that we went with.
- 14:16Speaker 5: Just to be clear, I mean, endings are very personal
- 14:19Speaker 5: for people. Like some people, I don't in that ending.
- 14:23Speaker 5: You just watch some people left the theater and said,
- 14:27Speaker 5: you're still kind of a jerk, you know what I mean.
- 14:32Speaker 5: Like I would get very personal responses where people are like, yeah.
- 14:35Speaker 4: You're like an ungrateful dad, You're a bad dad.
- 14:38Speaker 5: All this stuff, and I'm like, no, no, I'm being
- 14:41Speaker 5: honest with my experience.
- 14:43Speaker 4: And this is pretty close.
- 14:50Speaker 1: This is exactly what we're talking about, which is that
- 14:53Speaker 1: endings carry massive disproportionate weight. You don't go to a
- 14:58Speaker 1: show or a movie or read a book and decide
- 15:00Speaker 1: after the first ten pages that you love it. That's it.
- 15:03Speaker 1: I mean, you might say that, but it's a contingent conclusion.
- 15:08Speaker 1: You will rescind that opinion in a heartbeat if the
- 15:11Speaker 1: last five pages or the last five minutes don't work.
- 15:15Speaker 1: And what's weird about this, of course, is that it's
- 15:17Speaker 1: the opposite of the way we evaluate human beings. There's
- 15:21Speaker 1: a famous set of studies about college professors where they
- 15:24Speaker 1: take student evaluations of their teachers that are generated over
- 15:27Speaker 1: an entire semester and compare them to teacher evaluations made
- 15:31Speaker 1: by students who've only seen a tiny video clip of
- 15:35Speaker 1: the professor, like ten seconds. What do you find that
- 15:39Speaker 1: the two sets of evaluations are the same. In other words,
- 15:43Speaker 1: you're sitting in a class, you listen to your teacher
- 15:46Speaker 1: for the shortest moment, and you decide I like them,
- 15:50Speaker 1: I don't like them, and you never revisit that conclusion.
- 15:54Speaker 1: The ending doesn't matter. If you have thirty classes with
- 15:57Speaker 1: your history professor, your experience in the final class, or
- 16:01Speaker 1: the final five classes, or even the final twenty nine
- 16:04Speaker 1: point nine to nine classes does not alter your impression
- 16:08Speaker 1: about the teacher. Our evaluations of other people are front loaded.
- 16:13Speaker 1: That's why, correctly, our parents told us again and again
- 16:16Speaker 1: about the value of making a good first impression. But
- 16:19Speaker 1: our evaluation of stories is the opposite. It's backloaded. What
- 16:24Speaker 1: happens in the last five minutes colors every conclusion we
- 16:28Speaker 1: drew in the first two hours. Now, why is this?
- 16:31Speaker 1: I have no idea, but I will guarantee you that
- 16:34Speaker 1: every screenwriter and author and podcaster frets endlessly about how
- 16:38Speaker 1: their stories begin, rewrites the beginning a million times, but
- 16:43Speaker 1: aren't nearly as fastidious about the ending, which is nuts.
- 16:48Speaker 1: We're all idiots, with the exception, of course, of micro biglail.
- 16:55Speaker 1: When we come back endings Part two, a week after
- 17:10Speaker 1: we did our town hall show, we took the train
- 17:12Speaker 1: down to Philadelphia, rented out the Filmore Theater, eight cheese steaks,
- 17:16Speaker 1: got into the mood, and for the opening of the
- 17:19Speaker 1: Philly show, I decided to reflect back on some of
- 17:22Speaker 1: revisionist history's most and least successful endings. What we're talking
- 17:28Speaker 1: about tonight is endings, because I happen to be obsessed
- 17:32Speaker 1: with endings. If I'm watching a movie and you know,
- 17:36Speaker 1: three quarters the way through there's just too many balls
- 17:39Speaker 1: in the air, I'm.
- 17:41Speaker 7: Out.
- 17:42Speaker 1: I'm not going to be party to that kind of
- 17:45Speaker 1: destruction of the narrative form. You know, I can go
- 17:50Speaker 1: on forever about this, and we will, actually this evening
- 17:53Speaker 1: be going on forever about this. But you know, the
- 17:56Speaker 1: crucial distinction in my mind is a distinction between an
- 17:59Speaker 1: anecdote and a story. An anecdote is a narrative that
- 18:03Speaker 1: conforms with your expectations. So the braasiest thing happened to
- 18:10Speaker 1: me last night I found one hundred dollars bill on
- 18:12Speaker 1: the street. That is not a story. That is an anecdote.
- 18:15Speaker 1: The first sentence, craziest thing happened is the equal of
- 18:19Speaker 1: the second sentence, one hundred dollar bill on the street. Right.
- 18:25Speaker 1: A story, by contrast, is a narrative that betrays the
- 18:30Speaker 1: audience's expectations. So a story would be the craziest thing
- 18:36Speaker 1: happened to me last night. I found one hundred dollars
- 18:38Speaker 1: bill on the street. I gave it to a tried
- 18:41Speaker 1: to give it to a homeless man, and he said,
- 18:44Speaker 1: I don't want your effing money. That's a story, right.
- 18:48Speaker 1: It betrayed your expectation. That's not how you expected it
- 18:52Speaker 1: to end. And the challenge of Revision's history is we
- 18:56Speaker 1: always want to tell a story. We always wanted some
- 18:59Speaker 1: way to betray our audience's expectations. So I wanted to
- 19:04Speaker 1: give you a couple of examples of how we approach
- 19:06Speaker 1: that at Revision's History. You know, a couple years of
- 19:09Speaker 1: seasons ago, we did an episode called Free Brian Williams,
- 19:13Speaker 1: which some of you will remember.
- 19:15Speaker 5: And.
- 19:17Speaker 1: You'll remember Brian Williams was the NBC anchor who was
- 19:19Speaker 1: fired from his job because he went on Letterman one
- 19:22Speaker 1: night and he told a story about being in a
- 19:24Speaker 1: helicopter during the Gulf War, flying low over the desert
- 19:28Speaker 1: and he was fired upon by the enemy and he
- 19:30Speaker 1: was terrified, And then turns out he wasn't fired on,
- 19:35Speaker 1: And so all kinds of people brought this up and
- 19:38Speaker 1: called him a liar and a self aggrandizing and he
- 19:41Speaker 1: was for he was forced out of his job. And
- 19:45Speaker 1: if you've listened to it, the whole episode of the
- 19:47Speaker 1: Defense of Brian Williams, it's a sort of argument about
- 19:50Speaker 1: memory that says that our memory, particularly in high stakes
- 19:53Speaker 1: moments like that, is profoundly flawed, and all of us
- 19:57Speaker 1: make mistakes of memory along the lines of Brian Williams.
- 20:01Speaker 1: So he wasn't a self a grand advertising liar, he
- 20:03Speaker 1: was just a human being. And now none of that,
- 20:07Speaker 1: of course, trace the expectations of the audience.
- 20:11Speaker 7: Right.
- 20:11Speaker 1: The show's called Free Williams. Brian Williams. You know I'm
- 20:13Speaker 1: going to defend Brian Williams. But here's how it ended.
- 20:17Speaker 1: It's a clip of the very end of the show.
- 20:21Speaker 1: It's a clip of Brian Williams apologizing for his mistake
- 20:27Speaker 1: looking back.
- 20:28Speaker 3: It had to have been ego that made me think
- 20:32Speaker 3: I had to be sharper, funnier, quicker than anybody else,
- 20:41Speaker 3: put myself closer to the action, having been at the
- 20:45Speaker 3: action in the beginning.
- 20:48Speaker 1: Oh, please stop apologizing for a crime you didn't commit.
- 20:54Speaker 1: Free Brian Williams. Yeah, do you see the betrayal there?
- 21:00Speaker 1: You thought this was a defense of Brian Williams. But
- 21:03Speaker 1: the last thing I do in the entire episode is
- 21:05Speaker 1: attack Brian Williams for not defending himself. He's not a liar,
- 21:10Speaker 1: but he's a coward.
- 21:12Speaker 4: You didn't do anything wrong.
- 21:14Speaker 1: Stand up for yourself, big man. Stop all right. Now,
- 21:20Speaker 1: we don't always pull this out. There are times when
- 21:22Speaker 1: the endings don't work. And a really good example of
- 21:25Speaker 1: this is we did an episode last season called I
- 21:27Speaker 1: Love You. Weimo which was you know. Weimo is a
- 21:32Speaker 1: division of Google that makes autonomous cars, the kind that
- 21:34Speaker 1: drive themselves, and they have them in Phoenix. You can
- 21:39Speaker 1: go to Phoenix and you can order a Weimo and
- 21:41Speaker 1: it just shows up the snow driver and you hop in.
- 21:44Speaker 1: And so we went there, many of my producer, Jacob,
- 21:46Speaker 1: and we drove around these Wemos, and our whole point
- 21:50Speaker 1: was that people worry about autonomous cars because they think
- 21:53Speaker 1: that they are will make a mistake, you know, and
- 21:54Speaker 1: run over pedestrians. They think they're imperfect, but that's actually
- 21:58Speaker 1: completely wrong. The problem with autonomous cars is that they're perfect.
- 22:03Speaker 1: They don't make mistakes. I mean, they got twenty cameras
- 22:06Speaker 1: and light ar and radar. They're so perfect that they
- 22:09Speaker 1: allow everyone else to misbehave so that if you're if
- 22:14Speaker 1: you see it, if you're a jaywalk, you want to
- 22:17Speaker 1: you want to cross the street, and you see a
- 22:20Speaker 1: Weimo coming, you just jaywalk. Because you know it will stop, right,
- 22:25Speaker 1: It's perfect. And if you're a kid and you're playing
- 22:27Speaker 1: soccer in the middle of the street with your friends
- 22:29Speaker 1: and a Weimo comes, you keep playing soccer. You don't move.
- 22:34Speaker 1: And if you're a cyclist and you want to cycle
- 22:37Speaker 1: to work down, I'm ninety five. You cycle to work
- 22:40Speaker 1: Down ninety five because the Weimo will drive very patiently
- 22:44Speaker 1: behind you. It's not ever. So it's been sold to
- 22:48Speaker 1: us by Silicon Valley as this kind of epical technological breakthrough.
- 22:53Speaker 1: It's not. It's it's a complete non starter. You can't
- 22:57Speaker 1: drive a Weimo through any urban area because people are
- 23:01Speaker 1: just gonna go nuts when they see the Weimo. So
- 23:04Speaker 1: we thought the Weimo was the I Love you Weimo
- 23:07Speaker 1: was sarcastic. Right, So here's how it ends. Jacob and
- 23:12Speaker 1: I we order a Weimo to this park, to this
- 23:15Speaker 1: parking lot of uh the Almo Steakhouse in Tempe, Arizona,
- 23:20Speaker 1: and it comes and then we just start forget my language,
- 23:23Speaker 1: fucking with the weymow and we throw beach balls at it,
- 23:28Speaker 1: and it like a four dollars beach ball, and it
- 23:31Speaker 1: just stops because it's Weymo. It's like super polite, not
- 23:34Speaker 1: gonna harm a hair on the head of the beach ball.
- 23:38Speaker 1: And then then I decide what I really want to
- 23:41Speaker 1: do is I want to run next to the Waimo
- 23:43Speaker 1: and then just constantly cut in front of the weymouth
- 23:47Speaker 1: to see what the Weimo will do. Right, So here,
- 23:49Speaker 1: where's run the clip? Well he's taking up Oh, we
- 23:52Speaker 1: come through waymore is freaked out, freaked out. He thinks
- 23:59Speaker 1: he's going. He's got ahead of me.
- 24:02Speaker 7: I'm going to catch him.
- 24:13Speaker 1: Hold out you hold let you get in.
- 24:19Speaker 7: Waimo.
- 24:21Speaker 1: Stop. Weaimo was the perfect gentleman. He let me be
- 24:29Speaker 1: the crazy one. Remember this the next time some Silicon
- 24:33Speaker 1: Valley visionary promises you a future of perfect mobility, efficiency
- 24:38Speaker 1: and clarity from the backseat of an autonomous vehicle. No, no, no,
- 24:45Speaker 1: it's much better than that. It's me and Lance and
- 24:49Speaker 1: Jonathan Vaughters and Jacob with his beach ball taking back
- 24:52Speaker 1: the road. I love you Weimo. So retweet out the
- 25:03Speaker 1: announcement of the show, and you know what happens. Wamo
- 25:07Speaker 1: retweets the tweet. They're like, we love the show. It's fantastic.
- 25:16Speaker 1: So we said that autonomous vehicles don't actually work and
- 25:21Speaker 1: Weymo's like you called the show I Love You Wemo.
- 25:24Speaker 1: That's all. They refuse to have their expectations betrayed. Right now,
- 25:30Speaker 1: whose fault is that? I think it's my fault. And
- 25:33Speaker 1: then we started to get emails from I'm reading some
- 25:36Speaker 1: of the emails we got from readers, big fan of
- 25:39Speaker 1: Revision's history. I'm trying to figure out if I Love
- 25:42Speaker 1: You Weimo is sponsored content. Wait, I thought we were
- 25:45Speaker 1: attacking Weimo email number two. I'm sure Malcolm and whoever
- 25:48Speaker 1: is managing the show is smart enough to disclose when
- 25:50Speaker 1: they're being sponsored. But this really felt like an AD. No,
- 25:54Speaker 1: it wasn't an AD number three. At first, I thought
- 25:57Speaker 1: my podcast episode didn't download correctly. Love it was just
- 26:03Speaker 1: a thirty minute Weaimo love fest. No, it went on
- 26:07Speaker 1: for thirty eight minutes. You had to listen to the
- 26:09Speaker 1: last eight. Number four? What the hell was that? Number five?
- 26:18Speaker 1: Was that an infomercial for a what? Now? These people dumb?
- 26:22Speaker 7: No?
- 26:22Speaker 1: I don't know one who listens to Revision's History can
- 26:24Speaker 1: be dumb.
- 26:26Speaker 5: No.
- 26:26Speaker 1: They don't believe in stories. They believe in anecdotes. Right.
- 26:29Speaker 1: They think that you can only have a narrative that
- 26:32Speaker 1: conforms with your expectations. They don't understand that. No, no, no, no.
- 26:36Speaker 1: What a real story does is betray your expectations. You
- 26:40Speaker 1: screw up if that's the story you tell, right. If
- 26:43Speaker 1: you can't convince people to make that turn, sometimes you
- 26:46Speaker 1: really have to grab people the listener by the scrap
- 26:49Speaker 1: of the neck and say no, no, you blockhead, this
- 26:53Speaker 1: is going off in another direction. The perfect ending, the
- 26:57Speaker 1: perfect story, to my mind, is the story. Will you
- 27:02Speaker 1: start with the ending and work backwards? Well, you know
- 27:04Speaker 1: absolutely the turn you want to make. And there's one
- 27:07Speaker 1: of my absolute favorite episodes was exactly this. It's it's
- 27:11Speaker 1: called the King of Tears from episode from season two
- 27:13Speaker 1: or three, and it was about the saddest song in
- 27:16Speaker 1: the world. Anyway, I'm I'm rooting around late one night
- 27:19Speaker 1: on YouTube, and I run across George Jones's funeral, which
- 27:23Speaker 1: is one of the By the way, if you if
- 27:26Speaker 1: you have three extra hours, like if you're incarcerated and
- 27:30Speaker 1: have time in your hands, you must watch George Jones's funeral.
- 27:33Speaker 1: It's one of the most ethic, extraordinary, fantastic national events.
- 27:37Speaker 1: They're all there, they're all weeping, they're all it's just
- 27:41Speaker 1: it's just schmaltz upon schmaltz upon schmaltz. So I'm watching
- 27:45Speaker 1: it like I'm weeping in my pajamas. Is two animals.
- 27:48Speaker 1: Every single person in all of Nashville is there in
- 27:52Speaker 1: full regalia. Cowboy hats up the wazoo. Everyone's like finding
- 27:56Speaker 1: a way to weep out, wheep each other on stead.
- 28:00Speaker 1: But the climax is the great George Jones song was,
- 28:03Speaker 1: of course, the saddest song ever written by Bobby Braddock.
- 28:06Speaker 1: It's he Stopped Loving Her Today about a guy who
- 28:09Speaker 1: he's in love with a woman and he stopped loving
- 28:11Speaker 1: her today when he dies. He only stops loving her
- 28:14Speaker 1: when he's And the whole song leads up to you
- 28:18Speaker 1: realize you think he's alive, and he realized, oh no, no, no,
- 28:21Speaker 1: he's dead, and that's why he stopped on him. So Alan,
- 28:23Speaker 1: we actually want to play this, play Alan Jackson. Wells
- 28:27Speaker 1: Alan Jackson, who's at the end of the funeral. It's
- 28:32Speaker 1: the climax sings he stopped Loving her Today for George
- 28:38Speaker 1: Jones's wife, who's in the front row right. So it's
- 28:42Speaker 1: so geniusly met play the beginning of Alan Jackson as
- 28:47Speaker 1: years when clo and you realize as he sings that
- 28:55Speaker 1: Braddock's song has gotten even more specific. It's no longer
- 28:59Speaker 1: about a long ago love affair. It's about right now.
- 29:03Speaker 1: This is the day George Jones stopped loving Nancy Jones.
- 29:10Speaker 1: Alan Jackson takes off his hat and places it over
- 29:13Speaker 1: his heart.
- 29:15Speaker 4: He stop loving her.
- 29:20Speaker 1: Today. And if you aren't crying, I can't help you.
- 29:29Speaker 4: I love you, George.
- 29:36Speaker 1: If only every story ended as well as that one.
- 29:45Speaker 1: Revision's history is produced by Eloise Linton, Leeman Gistu and
- 29:48Speaker 1: Jacob Smith. Our editor is Julia Barton. Our showrunner is
- 29:52Speaker 1: Peter Clowney. Original scoring by Luis Garra, mastering by Jason Gambrel,
- 29:57Speaker 1: engineering by Sarah Brugaer and Nina Lawrence, fact checking by
- 30:01Speaker 1: Kishelle Williams, and live production by Kate Downey. Special thanks
- 30:06Speaker 1: to the Pushkin crew who helped pull off this live experiment,
- 30:09Speaker 1: Kerry Brodie, Pether Fame, Blair Gilkes, Jason Gambrel, Nina Lawrence,
- 30:14Speaker 1: Nicole Morano, Eric Sandler, John Schnarz, Maggie Taylor, and Jacob Weisberg.
- 30:20Speaker 1: And a big thank you to Mike Berbiglia as well
- 30:23Speaker 1: as the town Hall in Manhattan and The Fillmore in Philadelphia.
- 30:26Speaker 1: Stay tuned for more of revisionist History Live, coming soon
- 30:31Speaker 1: to a city near you. I'm Malcolm Glabo.