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NFL Week 18 Gambling Picks, Player Incentives, Hot Dog Strategies · Three For The Money

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after a two -day free trial. the pod didn't drop
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this morning at Thursday, 6am central per use,
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but you know, things happen. And now we're doing
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it on Thursday, and it's coming out on Thursday.
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So information will be more up to date, or something
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that was coming out today. Yeah, I'm gonna edit
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it and just put it out. So I have to think about
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it. I mean, I'm not doing anything else today.
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But last time we met, it was before Christmas.
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Now it's after Christmas, and it's also after
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the New Year. Just to kind of kick us off here,
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week 17 for me felt really terrible in terms
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of betting. It felt like I didn't win a bet until
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Sunday night, which was kind of the case. I won
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the Broncos chiefs under on Christmas. Um, but
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then I didn't win another bet until Sunday night
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football, which happened to be my sure fire.
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Uh, so that was great. And then the overhead
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on Monday night, uh, the Rams Falcons. So I actually
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ended up going three and four won the sure fire.
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So I'm about even not too bad. A lot worse than,
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uh, than I, I, I, it felt a lot worse than, than
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what it actually was, but But yeah, I spent the
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holidays with screaming children so that was
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also Not fun. It was fun seeing family but the
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children aspect was Lack thereof I don't know
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if I'll regale y 'all with some stories today,
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but We'll see we'll see what happens Chris. How
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did your holiday week go? It was pretty similar
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to you. I felt like I didn't really win a bet
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for a long time. I went over on Christmas. I
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only won one bet and like the Sunday, um, or
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like the noon to afternoon slate with, which
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happened to be my sure fire Titan saints over,
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which was one of the easiest wins I've had in
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a while. Um, but yeah, it was rough. I ended
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up going three and five, um, with a sure fire
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when one, the Sunday night over, which shout
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out to will those clutch and then won the Monday
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night game. So that, so with three and five,
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but really won my last two bets. So, I mean,
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that's something, um, we'll roll that into week
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18. Uh, yeah, pretty sad. So yeah, pretty sad
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that the regular season is over, but you know,
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let's go out the bank. Uh, Sean, how'd you do?
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Yeah, I think we're kind of all in the same boat.
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I think it could have been better I Had two bets
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per game on Christmas Day went three and three
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Then went oh and three on Saturday Surefire Didn't
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cash that had no chance in hell. I mean rest
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in peace that that Ravens Packers under I mean,
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shit. God. Fuck. I mean, I think the Ravens hit
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the over by themselves. They did. But went four
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and four on Sunday. Since I was planning on taking
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the Titans over as my surefire pick last week,
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I made another one. I'd put two units on the
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Titans over but I did buy up to 41 and a half
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at plus 115 so that was a nice little boost and
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then Falcons covered on Monday, so Hey, we take
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week we could get at this point. But um Yeah,
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I'm one to know in 26 right now since Oregon
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Moneyline just cashed so hell yeah let's keep
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it going. Oh yes let's keep it going I have not
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paid a single attention to college football really
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since the YouTube TV thing happened and I know
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it's back but like I don't know it just kind
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of got me out of it I'm like not in college football
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I'm just solely NFL right now well Oregon just
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got done bitch slapping Texas Tech so Yeah, I
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have it on the TV. Well, it was on the TV. Now
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it's just waiting for the Rose Bowl. In the Rose
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Bowl, there's a monsoon coming down. So I had
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there was this morning. So I hammered the under.
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OK, we'll have 30 minutes to make a decision
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on a bet. So we can talk about that later, though.
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OK, it's week 18. The regular season is all but
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over. We're only really talking about four games
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here and I'm ready. I'm ready for the playoffs.
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I'm ready to watch meaningful football and not
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not tiptoe around certain kind of bets that that
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we need to happen for like seeding and playoffs
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and shit. There are two win -in -win -in games,
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which is exciting. The first one we're going
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to talk about here, Saturday game in the afternoon,
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Panthers at the Bucs, NFC South matchup win -in
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-in. The Bucs are favored by three and a half,
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by three. Playing in Tampa Bay over or under
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is 43 and a half. I have zero stats to back up
7:00
this game. I'm taking the Panthers plus three
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Just it's purely vibes purely vibes and if this
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loses I will be okay I really really want the
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Panthers in the playoffs I think that would be
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hilarious If you if you don't have a dog in the
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fight, I think if you're a sports fan you crave
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chaos And this is what I crave and I'm going
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Panthers plus three. It's divisional matchup.
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It's not a lot of points, but There's no match
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was pretty close and the Panthers beat the Bucks
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the last time they played a couple weeks ago,
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so I'm going Panthers plus three also the Bucks
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are still a little bit beat up not so much on
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offense, but Still a little bit on defense and
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the Panthers are just a generally more healthy
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team right now Chris, what do you think about
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Panthers box? I agree. I'm on Panthers You can
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keep your damn points. I'm gonna take them on
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the money line Uh, Tampa Bay is just a free fall
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right now. One in seven, the last eight with
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that one win coming against Arizona. They're
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just, they're just bad right now. They're really,
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really bad. I don't think Carolina is particularly
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great, but they deserve it more than Tampa Bay.
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And I, I think they win this game. Um, really
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nothing more than that. I do have a stat from
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our friends at the trend center. Um, since 2014,
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NFC South dogs of less than 10, when with a total
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between 41 and 53 are one 95, one 14 and six,
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but nine and one in the last 10. So yeah, I think
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they covered the spread. Obviously I think they
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win the football game out. Right. Um, yeah, I
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just don't think the buck. I think the bucks
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just want the year to end. They, they're terrible
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right now. So yeah. Panthers money line. Let's
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have some fun. Let's get the Panthers in the
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playoffs. Sean, do we have a clean sweep? Uh,
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yes, we do. Sorry. Um, when you said I'm taking
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Panthers money line, I know the people at home
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didn't see it, but will made the shack on hot
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ones face. He went, and that just kind of broke
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me for a second. I was over here laughing at
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it. Uh, yes. Uh, Panthers plus three. Yeah. I
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think the only way that the Panthers can thrive
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is when they're Underdogs I gave out that stat
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that they are 26 and oh Or that was 26 and oh
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on the trend center. They've lost 26 straight
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being favorites Plus this season they are seven
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to know against the spread after a straight -up
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loss They played pretty bad against the Seahawks,
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but they've got a good defense And with the division
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on the line, I at least like them to cover. I'm
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going to play it safe, go for plus three, but
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that money line is kind of, it's tempting. It
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is very tempting. But Panthers can still win
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this division, even if they lose. Really? Yes.
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If the Saints win, or is it the Falcons? The
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Bucks will be like holding out for a prayer.
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If the Bucks win they will be holding out for
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a prayer that the Saints or the Falcons lose
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to the Saints That Rams win that the Falcons
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got on Monday night that set them up to also
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be eight nine Which these three teams could be
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all end up they could all end up being eight
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nine and only one of them is gonna make the playoffs
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pretty crazy But the Panthers have the it comes
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down to the head -to -head record and the Panthers
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are three and one in the head -to -head record.
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So even if the Bucks lose, Panthers could still
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win this division. Crazy. But I like that even
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more. I think the Panthers like to keep this
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one close. I think they'll just wrap up this
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division with a nice tight bow. Also, I'll be
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taking Rico Dowell for a touchdown at plus 130.
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He only needs one more to get a quarter mil bonus.
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Adding that in. Locking that in. I had a bunch
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of incentive stats as well. I was going to save
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them for the end because as my like extra plays,
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because I don't, there's only like four games
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that matter. But we didn't talk about it, so
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that's fine. We were on the topic. Yeah, we're
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on it. I'm in. Whatever. OK, moving on. I'm gonna
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have to get that stat later because it immediately
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went out of my head. Or that incentive moving
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on next game on Saturday Seahawks at the 49ers
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49ers at home underdogs by point and a half over
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under is 47 and a half Is this whoever wins gets
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the one seed Yes, it's the battle one seed. This
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is the battle for the one seed Sean I'm gonna
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let you take this one first. I Just want to yeah
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I just want to say how blessed we are for this
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to be such a standalone matchup on Saturday night.
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I mean, I'm not even joking. Seahawks Niners
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for the one seed, that fucking rocks. But I am
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going with the Niners on the money line, riding
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with the hot hand. Six straight wins. Brock Purdy
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is back. He is no longer Brock Turdy. Last three
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games, he's passing for at least 300 in just
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about every one. 11 TDs, just two interceptions.
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This kind of just comes down to I feel more confident
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in Purdy than I do Sam Darnold right now. Seahawks
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are also Purdy's best opponent. In his career,
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he is six and one straight up and five and two
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against the spread. And he's been listed as a
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favorite in all seven of those contests. And
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as a favorite of four points or less, the 49ers
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are 3 -0 straight up and against the spread.
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But I could very much see someone winning by
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one with a walk -off field goal here. I kind
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of really hope this one comes down to the wire.
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I really want a good 49 -second drill down the
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field. This is a playoff game. And it rocks.
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And we're blessed to get it early. So, yes, 49ers
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money line. Also, Joon Jennings TD, scored in
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six straight games. Coincidence, they've won
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six straight. He's scored in six straight. I
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don't think so. This hot streak has to start
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somewhere, so I will be taking him as well. Chris,
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I saw you shaking your head. You probably do
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not agree with me, but... It's not that I disagree
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with you. Everything you said is correct. Um,
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Brock Purdy is playing probably the best football
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he's ever played. Um, but I'm, I was very torn
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on this game. I'm going with the Seahawks on
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the money line. Uh, I've been riding them on
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the road all season, so I can't abandon ship
14:25
now and the most important game of the year.
14:28
Um, yeah, I said a few weeks ago, I thought they
14:31
could win the Superbowl. So. I feel like I have
14:34
to take them to win this game. So, yeah, I don't
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love it. Especially the stats you read, but I
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do have a stat from the trend center is a road
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division favorites of less than two and a half.
14:46
Um, and a game between two winning teams over
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the last 18 years are 27, seven and two against
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the spread nine and one last 10. So they cover
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one and a half that wouldn't football. So I'm
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gonna take Seahawks on the money line. Um, yeah.
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Do we have a tiebreaker? Will. No We have a different
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play. I like the over in this game over forty
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seven and a half It feels like the last five
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weeks the Niners have just been dog walking teams
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putting up like 30 to 40 points, but also giving
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up like 20 so I think to piggyback off of Sean
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I think this game will rock and For that reason,
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I choose fun. I don't I don't like choosing sides
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here. Let's go with the over over forty seven
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and a half. I think both teams are very capable
15:41
of of winning this game. But I mean. The last
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five weeks, the Niners Niners overs have just
15:50
been cruisin Seahawks, very good defense. That
15:55
is a bit of a worry, but I think. The Niners
16:00
offense kind of overcomes this and I feel like
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if the Seahawks want a shot in hell at this game
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They need to put up some points and so I think
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I think this keeps gonna rock I think it's gonna
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be a point to Palooza over 47 and a half Yeah
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moving on next game lions at the Bears NFC North
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matchup bears favored by three points in Chicago
16:29
over under is 50 and a half Lions put up a stinker
16:34
last week knocked him out of the playoffs Lions
16:38
will not be making the playoffs this year. They're
16:40
back to sucking some are saying The Bears it
16:45
feels like every game that they play at least
16:48
as of recently has been awesome kind of crazy
16:53
Kind of crazy to say that a Bears game was awesome.
16:58
Kind of like, what year are we in? And the Lions
17:00
are out of the playoffs. This is like, this is
17:02
like 10 or 15 years ago. This is crazy. Chris,
17:07
I'm gonna let you take this one first. All right.
17:10
I'm taking the under 50 and a half. Feels like
17:14
too many points for a relatively meaningless
17:16
game. I know the Bears, it's pretty much, if
17:20
they win, they get the two, if they lose, get
17:21
the three. Uh, that doesn't really seem like
17:23
that much of an incentive to run it up. Um, and
17:27
the lions, like you said, they've just been laying
17:29
stinkers lately, especially on offense. Um, this
17:33
doesn't help that it's out in the cold. Um, on
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the road, Jared golf sucks in the cold outside.
17:39
Um, so I just don't think Detroit's really going
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to move the ball that well. Almanra might not
17:44
be playing really. There's no point in him playing.
17:47
I, I think the Bears probably win. I don't want
17:52
to say comfortably, but I think they control
17:53
the pace of this game. I, I just don't see them
17:57
really trying to light it up. I know Ben Johnson
17:59
maybe has like some personal reasons. Maybe that
18:02
would come into it, but also you can say, well,
18:03
Matt Campbell doesn't want him to his former
18:06
employee to run it up on him. So yeah, it seems
18:09
like too many points for a meaningless game.
18:11
So yeah, give me under 50 and a half. Uh, well,
18:13
what do you think? I think the opposite. I think
18:17
this game is also going to rock. Um, bears. I
18:21
mean, they got Ben Johnson. They got. A little
18:24
bit of something to prove in that aspect. Seating
18:29
not too important. But also, I think the main
18:35
factor in this is this is a Dan Campbell Lions
18:39
team. No matter if they're kicked out of the
18:42
playoffs, they're they're going balls to the
18:45
wall. And that's just that's just what they do.
18:48
It doesn't matter that it's week 18 and they're
18:50
not in the playoffs Dan Campbell expects the
18:53
most from his guys And I think this game's gonna
18:57
rock I like the over over 50 and a half The Bears
19:02
have been playing in shootouts the past couple
19:04
of weeks I like that and the Lions Have definitely
19:09
shown in the past that they can run it up. So
19:13
I'm going over 50 and a half here. I think I
19:18
think this is a game neither team wants to lose,
19:21
um, regardless of whatever is at stake. So I
19:27
like the over, uh, Sean, what do you think? Yeah,
19:31
I, uh, I also liked the over. Um, yeah, Dan Campbell,
19:36
I, yeah, it's just grit for grit. You know, he's
19:40
a great guy. He's going to grind it out till
19:43
the very end. Um, And he's definitely not letting
19:46
Ben Johnson get the easy dub here. And I'm not
19:50
asking for a bloodbath, but I think this one's
19:54
going back and forth, point for point. Give me
19:57
the over. Just one last chance, one last good
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licking against a heavy playoff contender. I
20:08
think this goes well over if Goff doesn't turn
20:11
over the ball five fucking times. Looking for
20:15
a week 18 bounce back game, you know the classic
20:18
spot And you know bears been humming they've
20:23
been humming right now getting hot at the right
20:25
time Even though they lost putting up 38 on San
20:29
Fran that game was nuts More or less looking
20:34
for a sequel to that game, I guess even though
20:38
this game has way less implications. So yeah,
20:42
give me the over 50 and a half. Let's have some
20:44
fireworks. All right, there it is. Okay, last
20:49
game we're talking about here. For the main slate.
20:52
It's Ravens Steelers win and in the Steelers
20:59
at home. Dogs by three and a half. DK Metcalf
21:03
still suspended because he's a bum that can't
21:06
control his temper. Ravens beat the shit out
21:10
of the Packers last week Surprisingly with Tyler
21:16
Huntley at the helm Which kind of begs the question?
21:20
What kind of Ravens team are we getting here?
21:24
Is who do we do what do we know who's playing
21:27
a quarterback Lamar is likely to return. He's
21:31
been practicing this week. Hmm. Okay I gotta
21:36
be straight up I don't have a pick for this game.
21:39
I have no idea what to pick. I kind of hate this
21:43
game. The implications of, you know, this being
21:48
Sunday Night Football and winning it in and you
21:50
know, there's no Monday Night Football this week.
21:52
So it's that's this is kind of it. And it's like,
21:55
I don't. It's like, it's like I think this game
21:59
is going to suck, but also this game has the
22:03
potential to not suck. So I don't uh, I don't
22:06
really have a pick for this game. I would love
22:08
to be Steered in the right direction or at least
22:12
Collect some of your thoughts Chris I'm pretty
22:18
surprised you I'm pretty surprised you don't
22:20
have a pick for this. Well, I mean it's death
22:23
taxes Raven Steelers unders under 41 and a half.
22:26
I know With Huntley it felt it feels like they're
22:31
a competent team And it's like, I don't, I don't
22:34
know if that guy's playing, but if Lamar's likely,
22:37
then I, uh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, anyway, uh, DK
22:43
now you're good. I would say Pittsburgh has no
22:46
downfield attack without your boy, DK and Baltimore
22:50
finally kind of realized like, Hey, if we just
22:53
give the ball to Derek Henry, like every other
22:55
play, we're probably going to win the football
22:57
game. So, um, I don't know if Harbaugh will.
23:01
do that this game? I hope he does. Sometimes
23:03
he will do it for most of the game and then just
23:05
stop like you did against New England. So I think
23:08
they keep it on the ground primarily in this
23:10
game. Pittsburgh can't do anything offensively.
23:14
It's prime time. It's cold. It's week 18. This
23:17
is just where defenses rise up. The under is
23:21
nine and two in the last 11 games between these
23:23
two teams. Five have known the last five in Pittsburgh.
23:26
This game, I mean, We've seen this a billion
23:29
times. It's going to be a rock fight under 41
23:31
and a half. Sean, what do you think? I'm going
23:37
Ravens minus three and a half. Just to kind of
23:41
piggyback off of Chris here. Yeah, I don't think
23:46
that was so much a Tyler Huntley game as much
23:49
as it was a Derek Henry game. Derek Henry had
23:52
231 yards and four touchdowns. The Ravens have
23:58
not really been relying on Henry like that last
24:02
week, too much this season. So hopefully this
24:06
game awakened something in Harborough that he
24:09
was like, hey, we have one of the best running
24:12
backs to ever do it. Maybe let's get him going
24:16
here a little more and let's make a run into
24:18
the playoffs because as we know, playoff Henry
24:22
is different. He's a different animal. Plus,
24:28
Rogers just doesn't have anyone to throw it to.
24:31
And that really showed during that cleavage game,
24:34
which, by the way, hilarious. Throwing to MVS
24:39
three times in a row, the game on the line, and
24:43
it not working three times, is the literal definition
24:47
of insanity. But he kinda had no other choice.
24:52
He had nobody else to throw it to. So DK not
24:57
being out there is actually a huge difference
24:59
major Rogers went 3 and 15 in completions when
25:05
throwing it 10 yards or more downfield Against
25:08
Cleveland. That's fucking bad And I I kind of
25:13
think they're gonna be forced into this situation
25:15
again had their backs against the wall forced
25:17
to throw it downfield No one there to catch it
25:21
Little stat I found Under Harbaugh Baltimore
25:26
is 8 -0 straight up when playing a back -to -back
25:29
night game all other teams in this spot or 45
25:32
in 49 and 45 over the last five seasons We all
25:39
know that Tomlin as a dog is amazing, but I want
25:44
to raise the question If the Ravens lose this
25:47
game and miss the playoffs Harbaugh's gone, right?
25:53
Mean it kind of feels like they have they have
25:57
to move in another direction it this this feels
26:00
like I've heard some people talk about this game
26:02
and It kind of feels like a loser leaves town
26:06
like the losing coach kind of leaves town, you
26:09
know it's like Tomlin has been here for like
26:11
fucking 20 years and like he has a negative playoff
26:15
record like All he does is go above 500 by like
26:21
one is so Yeah, I think I agree with what I think.
26:25
I don't know if it's a loser leaves town like
26:27
official. I think it's a loser next year. Their,
26:30
their seat is incredibly hot. I don't, I mean,
26:34
Tomlin, I think more so if they lose, I could
26:35
see them firing him hardball just cause they've
26:38
actually had great success in the last ham ever
26:42
since I've had Lamar really, um, it'd be hard
26:45
to see them firing it. I mean, if he, if he just
26:48
bungles this game and he's the reason they lose,
26:51
I can see it. But if they just lose straight
26:53
up, like whatever, then I think his seat is incredibly
26:57
hot next year. But if either coach got fired
27:01
after this game, I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah.
27:04
So, I mean, I'm kind of going off the Ravens
27:07
just for that fact. I mean, they, they've got
27:10
to make it. I mean, I mean, they don't have to,
27:14
the world's not going to end, but like, man,
27:17
if you want to. keep coaching this team for at
27:20
least one more game after this. It feels like
27:22
you need to win this game. So I'm going to go
27:25
with the Ravens minus three and a half. I kind
27:27
of took a long time trying to figure out what
27:31
this pick actually is because I liked the under
27:36
as Chris said, but there was I've been burned
27:41
by those those Ravens unders for far too long
27:44
now. And yeah. But will did did we did we sway
27:51
anything? Yeah, I'm gonna take the under I do
27:55
think the Ravens will win this game Hopefully,
27:59
you know piggybacking off you Sean Hopefully
28:02
they figured it out with with their if you just
28:05
keep feeding them It's you're gonna win as long
28:10
as doesn't fumble which has been an issue, but
28:15
But yeah I was a bit afraid of the under because
28:19
I was looking at the The Raven schedule this
28:23
year and the last time they played it went over
28:25
and I remember I remember watching that game
28:27
at the bar and That game like accidentally went
28:32
over I think if I'm if I remember correctly Yeah,
28:36
a bunch of like fuck shit happened in the second
28:37
half. Yeah, so But I was looking at the score
28:42
and I was like that definitely went over for
28:43
a Raven Steelers game I was like, I don't know
28:46
so But I'm taking the under this this week. Because
28:52
it's like I think. I think Ravens minus three
28:55
and a half is a little bit too juicy, and it's
28:56
like I don't want to take the money line, so
28:59
just just just ride the under. Does does DK come
29:06
back if they make playoffs or like was he just
29:09
suspended for two games? OK, yeah, OK, so I didn't
29:13
know if it was like suspended for rest of the
29:15
season. Regardless of what happens or what no,
29:19
I think if he would have punched that fan in
29:22
like week five He would have been suspended for
29:24
12 weeks Yeah, it was like you got it. You got
29:27
to sit out the rest of the regular season Yeah,
29:30
okay. No, I mean like yeah, but playoffs. It's
29:33
like hey, we need we need that TV money Of course
29:38
You can't hit a fan Okay, well You're a millionaire.
29:47
Why do you give a fuck about what anyone else
29:49
thinks? Jesus Christ. Oh my God. If I had that
29:54
money, I'd be like... Bro, you can say anything
30:00
to me. I wouldn't care. That guy could have hit
30:04
me. Yeah. And I would have been cool with it.
30:09
Anyway. In the face of a snow shovel, I would
30:12
have been like, thanks! Would you hit your 45
30:15
million dollars? Yeah, you can hit me in the
30:17
face with a snow shovel. Will, would you hit
30:21
your wife for a million dollars? Yeah. I'd do
30:27
it for a million. Who wouldn't? What's the don't
30:31
care about your lowest. I don't know if we can
30:37
have that discussion right now. I don't know.
30:41
I don't know if you want that recorded. I don't
30:44
think we can have it off air, but... Yeah, we
30:47
can do that. Kota mysteriously disappears. Like,
30:52
uh, we have this recording. Kota's gone and you
30:57
bought a boat? What's that about? Anyway. Okay,
31:04
that's the slate. Now moving on to surefires.
31:08
Not much to choose from. If if you see fit Depending
31:13
on what type of type of game you're looking for
31:15
here, but I'll go first here I love the Seahawks
31:19
Niners over. I think this game is going to rock.
31:22
I have zero stats I need to come better with
31:26
stats, but The Niners have just been kind of
31:30
on fire right now and the Seahawks have as well
31:33
But it's kind of like the one seat on the line
31:36
like Sean alluded to last week If the Niners
31:39
win this game, and they get the one seed, that's
31:45
where the Super Bowl is. You know? So it's kind
31:48
of like, I mean, they're going to be firing on
31:51
all cylinders. And if the Seahawks want a prayer
31:54
in this game, not that they need a prayer because
31:58
they're a good team, but if they want to compete,
32:02
I guess, with the kind of effort that the Niners
32:06
are putting out, then I think You're going to
32:08
need to figure it out on offense a little bit
32:10
more. So I like the over 47 and a half. Sean,
32:14
what is your sure fire? Going at the Rams minus
32:19
seven and a half versus the Arizona Cardinals.
32:22
For this one, I'm going to turn to our friends
32:24
at the Trends Center for a 91 and a half percent
32:27
win rate supporting my sure fire pick. It's called
32:31
Rams bounce back in late season after a loss
32:35
11 and one all time. That pesky one comes from
32:40
the Monday night game versus the Falcons. But
32:44
the Falcons are a much better team than this
32:48
Cardinals team is. Jacoby is, I don't know, I
32:53
feel like he's better than Kyler, but he's still
32:55
0 -8. And yeah, he's just yet to win a game.
33:02
They've lost all of those games by at least 15
33:06
points. Rams put up a beating on them four weeks
33:11
ago. They beat them 45 to 17. Also McVay is one
33:17
of the most profitable coaches on short rest
33:20
going 18 and eight against the spread. So give
33:24
me the Rams. The only thing that worries me is
33:29
resting the starters kind of later in the game.
33:32
But depending on how this Niners game goes, Rams
33:35
could still be playing for the five seed in which
33:38
they'll play the winner of the Panthers bucks
33:41
or the Raven Steelers. However, those seedings
33:44
fall. But yeah, give me the Rams minus seven
33:48
and a half. Chris, you're sure for our double
33:52
unit guaranteed play not to lose. Go. All right.
33:56
I am going to everyone's favorite division in
33:59
football, the NFC South, the New Orleans Saints
34:02
plus three and a half. against the Atlanta Falcons.
34:06
Tyler Schuck might be the best quarterback in
34:08
football. This guy's fucking amazing. He's gonna,
34:13
I wanna say gonna, he might win rookie of the
34:15
year and he's only played like, well, I don't
34:18
know how many games exactly, but he hasn't even
34:20
played the entire season. That's incredible.
34:24
I think they're just a better team than the Falcons.
34:28
Falcons on short rest. They almost choked to
34:31
the Rams on Monday night football with a 21 point
34:34
lead at halftime. Um, yeah, I just, I like the
34:38
saints. I mean, they've been balling out. They've
34:40
won five in a row or they've won four in a row
34:42
with, I think for a lost season, we loved in
34:46
on a five game win streak. Um, yeah. And I'm
34:49
going back to our friends at the trend center.
34:51
Uh, I've used this, um, before on a sure fire
34:55
Atlanta. in their last 109 games playing at 1
35:00
p .m eastern with a spread of less than nine
35:02
is 36 and 73 against the spread i use this i
35:07
believe it was seahawks minus seven a few weeks
35:10
ago and seahawks won by 30 so um legitimately
35:15
i think like it was like 36 to 6 so saints plus
35:20
three and a half uh they might went out right
35:23
but w unit i'll play it safe keep it with three
35:25
and a half uh yeah guaranteed not to lose hell
35:29
yes that is a surefire picks this week um hell
35:34
yeah hopefully we can catch one more surefire
35:38
parlay uh before the end of the regular season
35:41
um that would be tight um but yeah that's uh
35:48
that's pretty much it Oh, yeah, he died yesterday.
35:56
Who's that? The guy from the wire. I forget his
35:59
name. Oh. That's where that comes from. Oh, I
36:04
didn't know that's what people said. Oh, all
36:10
right. Well, you learn something new every day.
36:13
That's the main slate of games. Now talk about
36:16
our extra plays. I don't have any, but I do have
36:21
some player incentives. Do we want to? Do you
36:23
guys have extra plays or do we want to save the,
36:27
the, the props for later? I've got three extra
36:30
plays that aren't like incentive or prop base.
36:33
If we all want to just go through those before
36:35
getting into props. Let's do that. All right.
36:39
Um, okay. We'll do it. Yeah, go first. Okay.
36:44
Okay. Um, first one, I'm going to double dip
36:46
on my sure fire take over 43 and a half and saints
36:49
Falcons. I just want that game to rock. I think
36:52
it's two electric offenses, not playing for shit.
36:55
Just go out there, ball out. It's going to be
36:57
fun. Uh, bingles my seven and a half against
37:00
the Browns Browns let down spot kind of big win
37:02
against the Steelers. Um, right there. They're
37:05
not that good a team. Um, they especially suck
37:09
on the road. Brown's defense has given a 28 points
37:11
per game away from home this season. I think
37:15
Bing was just put it on a Bingles defense playing.
37:18
better the last couple of weeks, uh, gave up
37:21
21 to the dolphins, 14 to the Cardinals. I know
37:24
that's not great, but for their standards, I
37:26
feel like anything under four touchdowns is not
37:28
that bad. So bingles minus seven and a half.
37:32
And then the stinker of the week Packers Vikings
37:35
under 35 and a half to third string quarterbacks,
37:38
duking it out. Uh, I think this game is going
37:42
to blow. Yeah. Uh, Brian Flores says that Vikings
37:45
defense playing lights out the last couple of
37:47
weeks. saying it's gonna suck. Don't watch this
37:49
game. Just bet the under and check the score
37:52
later. So yeah, under 35 and a half. Those are
37:55
my three. Malik not playing? No, they're not
37:58
today. That's Clayton Toon is going to start.
38:01
Did the Packers make the playoffs? Yeah, they
38:03
got the seventh seed regardless. That's why they're
38:06
not even playing like win or lose there. I see.
38:10
Okay. So yeah, those are my three. They were
38:13
playing for the one like two weeks ago. Crazy.
38:20
The mighty have fallen. Fucking way she goes.
38:25
Sean, what do you got? All right. First one,
38:29
Cowboys Giants, first half over 24 and a half.
38:32
Running it back again. One more time, one more
38:35
for the road. This has been the most profitable
38:38
system all season long. Cowboys first half overs
38:41
are 15 and one. This season so last chance to
38:46
get it saying this cashed on Christmas What was
38:50
the number 24 and a half Next one Patriots minus
38:57
ten and a half Patriots have given no risk signal
39:01
as of yet Dolphins take the cold McDaniels is
39:05
0 and 6 straight up and 2 and 4 against red and
39:08
temperatures under 40 degrees. Foxboro currently
39:12
has a high of 28 degrees. Yucky. It's pats all
39:18
day. Last one. Bengals minus seven and a half.
39:23
Another one from our friends at the Trends Center.
39:25
Fade the Browns after allowing less than 14 points
39:28
in previous game. 23 and 3 in the last 11 years.
39:32
5 game win streak. Give me Joey B and the bungles
39:36
minus seven Will I would love to hear I think
39:41
we would all love to hear your player incentive
39:44
picks for this okay, so I have I've like five
39:53
or six Did that shock you Sean Mean it should
40:01
but no Okay, so I Was only able to find a line
40:16
for one of these The player prop lines are not
40:21
currently out yet except for the one that I found
40:24
which will get you later sake one Barkley Only
40:29
needs 87 yards for an extra 500 K and They're
40:35
playing the commanders who have the league's
40:39
third worst run defense Those are scrimmage yards
40:43
so that he can get them on check downs as well
40:46
so like Take like 90 rushing yards or 90 all
40:51
-purpose yards What have you? Next Keenan Allen
40:57
Only needs 11 more yards for 250k. Um, again,
41:02
11. Yes. Okay. Um, against the Broncos, uh, which
41:09
they have a tough secondary. Uh, however, this
41:12
parlays into, well, I'm not parlaying it, but
41:15
just a term. Um, he is six catches away from
41:21
750k. So, um, Might be a little tough with that
41:26
secondary. However, the last time these two teams
41:30
played, uh, Kenan and Allen had seven catches
41:32
the last time they played Denver. So, um, however,
41:37
uh, Justin Herbert is not playing. So. Is that
41:41
official? Yeah. Pretty sure. Yeah. That makes
41:45
sense why the line's 11 and a half. Right. So,
41:50
um, consider that, um, Eat I mean he only needs
41:55
11 more yards for for one incentive the six catches,
41:58
you know I'm probably still gonna bet it but
42:02
All of these are gonna be like half unit plays
42:06
for me just so I can you know Bet them all and
42:09
I don't have my whole bankroll on these player
42:12
props Season though It uh that that's a possibility.
42:22
Um, okay next player prop, uh debo samuel only
42:26
needs 93 receiving yards, uh for an extra 450k
42:32
So consider that um marquise brown. This is the
42:37
one that I found the line marquise brown, uh
42:40
only needs one more touchdown to Get an incentive
42:44
of 250k. Um on smash wings, uh, that line is
42:49
plus 320 for any time touchdown score. So that
42:54
one could be pretty big. That one will be sprinkled.
43:01
Yeah. Okay. And then the next one is Hunter Henry
43:05
needs five plus catches for 250K. So hit the
43:12
five plus catches button on the little sports
43:16
book there. And who are they playing this week?
43:19
Dolphins the Dolphins. Oh, yeah, I mean Is Drake
43:24
may plan do we know that? Yeah. Yes. Okay Then
43:29
yeah, I mean consider that one cashed and then
43:31
um, what was that recap battle? One you had shown
43:35
He needs one touchdown for 250 K. Okay adding
43:40
it And that's all I got I did find a video on
43:47
Instagram which I will send both of you of this
43:50
guy who had every single incentive on the line
43:55
for this week and I was thinking about taking
43:59
them all but I didn't want to write them all
44:01
down so I will I'll let I'll let you guys Take
44:09
a look at that as well, but that's all I got
44:11
Sean. Do you have any other? I Do not have any
44:18
more player props, okay Christopher I don't have
44:22
any I okay didn't really I've totally forgot
44:26
about the incentives Okay. Well, I'll send you
44:29
that video Yes, and then uh Stay tuned on the
44:35
the X When we we we post our our updated picks
44:40
all of my player props are gonna be maximum two
44:44
units not two units half units sorry okay it's
44:49
like well living on the wild side here well I'm
44:55
not doing that no I want to be sane when when
44:59
Sunday comes and Saturday but yeah that's that's
45:05
pretty much all I got I did write down something
45:08
else The Raiders are playing the Chiefs this
45:11
week would love to see the Raiders beat the Chiefs,
45:15
which could be Travis Kelsey's last game in the
45:19
NFL I Have also written down slash If they win,
45:25
I think we go up a spot. Maybe I don't know Could
45:29
be could be wishful thinking that if the Raiders
45:32
win the Titans move up I Think because I mean
45:36
like the Raiders beat us And if the Raiders win,
45:40
I think they would have more wins than us. So
45:43
I think that would put us up. But honestly, at
45:47
this point, like, I mean, you could still trade
45:51
back for a haul, but we can talk about the draft
45:54
much later. But that's just wishful thinking,
45:58
personal preference. And that's really all I
46:00
got. I don't know. Titans might win this Sunday.
46:07
Good for them. Will they? I don't think so. 12
46:12
point dogs. I don't think the Jags are resting
46:15
anymore. They're not. The AFC South's kind of
46:19
coming down to the wire. Yeah. The Texans are
46:23
playing the Colts and then the Jags are playing
46:26
us. That kind of sucks. Yeah. I wish it was the
46:30
Jags -Texans to be honest, but. So can the Texans
46:33
make the playoffs? They can win the division.
46:36
Yeah. Oh. Both teams I think are already have
46:41
already clinched. Oh, okay, but It depends on
46:47
who's gonna win this division or not. Okay, so
46:50
there's no winning in situation. No Okay, that
46:54
was that's why I was like what? But I think depending
46:58
I think right now If it plays out the way that
47:04
we think it is that the the Jags the Titans and
47:08
the Texans beat the Colts, they'll play each
47:10
other in the first round. I'm pretty sure that's
47:14
how the seeding is going to come down to. Interesting.
47:18
Texans are becoming that team where it's like,
47:22
dude, I don't want to play them in the playoffs.
47:26
They figured it out. Yeah. They've won how many
47:30
in a row? Seven? Like eight? Seven or eight?
47:37
Like, uh, it's like, I mean, they may not even
47:41
win the division, but there's, it's, it's, there's
47:45
those sneaky teams. So like they're super sneaky.
47:49
Aren't they like the third or the second team
47:52
to ever make the playoffs after starting Owen
47:54
three or something like that or Owen for one
47:57
of those two. That sounds correct. I don't have
48:01
anything to. I think I saw that on TV. I think
48:06
it was after they beat the Chargers, because
48:08
that's what clinched the playoffs. Jags have
48:13
won seven in a row, Texans have won eight in
48:15
a row, Colts have lost six in a row. Hilarious.
48:19
They started out seven -two. Geez. Now they're
48:24
eight -and -eight. Could the Jags get the one
48:28
seed still, like, technically? Like I think the
48:31
Broncos and Patriots both have to lose, but yeah,
48:36
I think they as double digit favorites, but yeah.
48:41
Okay. The Jags win. Bronco. Did the Jags beat
48:47
the Broncos this year? Did they play? Yeah, they
48:50
played a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, they beat
48:54
them in Denver, which is nuts. Kind of like handedly
48:57
too. Yeah. Oh yeah, I remember that now. Did
49:01
the, did the Patriots play the, play the Jags?
49:06
I don't think, no, because the Patriots have
49:09
only been one team with a winning record. I want
49:10
to say that, but also, um, I'm taking whoever
49:14
the Patriots are playing first game of the playoffs,
49:16
I'm taking the other team. I'm going to take
49:18
the spread and then Moneyline. The team's not
49:20
that good. They're just not. The New England
49:24
Patriots may be the worst 13 and three team to
49:28
ever. Like, yeah, congrats. Like this is a hell
49:31
of a turnaround. You beat one team with a winning
49:33
record. And then it, which was the bills. And
49:36
then you turn around and lost them the second
49:37
time you played and blew like a three touchdown
49:39
lead. So I just don't think, I don't think they're
49:43
that good. Sorry, Sean, just going back to your,
49:49
um, so if the Patriots lose and the Jags win,
49:55
they'll have the same record, but they didn't
49:57
play each other. how does that how does that
50:00
get determined probably like common opponents
50:04
or strength of i don't know some schedule um
50:08
which the jags definitely have over right yeah
50:13
and that that's not happening yeah that's not
50:17
happening the only thing it could be okay the
50:22
only thing i'll say about the patriots that i'm
50:24
like all right uh that's good is they are undefeated
50:29
on the road. They have, they have not gone into
50:33
a home stadium and lost, which is kind of nuts
50:37
because like it, even being in a fourth, fourth,
50:41
fourth place opponent, like any given Sunday,
50:45
any team can run it up on you. Yeah. I mean,
50:48
they're very good team. I'm not saying they're
50:50
bad or anything. They're not the best team in
50:53
the AFC or the NFL. Like they, they're just not.
50:57
No, but Drake may is going to win MVP. Yeah,
51:02
I see the betting favorite now. I mean. Probably
51:07
I just I checked the only future lines I checked
51:11
was Chuck offensive Ricky of the year and he's
51:15
plus 105. Yeah, pretty good started. I really
51:18
want to mention this earlier. He started out
51:20
50 to one. Hey, that's for that guy. Dude, that's
51:26
plus 5 ,000. Just give it to him. That's crazy.
51:33
Oh yeah, Drake Mays minus 295. Yeah, he's going
51:36
to win MVP. I mean, he deserves it. I mean, hell
51:43
of a turnaround. He's been playing lights out.
51:48
He's been playing really well, but it's just
51:51
like, I don't want to call them frauds. But they
51:55
have a fraudulent schedule. Yeah, yes I mean
52:00
they've been you can't really call them frauds
52:02
because I mean, yeah They've won their games
52:04
You know, yeah for sure if they get beat the
52:08
first round we can call them frauds. Yes. Yes,
52:10
that's the that's the fraudulent Determining
52:15
factor, I guess well Didn't they lose yet? They
52:20
lost to the Raiders Week one yeah, but that's
52:26
like the Raiders are like objectively the worst
52:28
team in the league. Oh I think yeah, yeah That
52:33
was an almost one against the Broncos week one
52:36
We could have won technically. Yeah, it was a
52:40
one -score game. We could have won Yeah, but
52:47
the bad man is gone yes the bad man doesn't know
52:53
football is gone. Who doesn't know he doesn't
52:56
know the rules. He didn't know the rules. I'd
53:03
kind of forgotten about that. Glad you reminded
53:05
me. Well, I reminded myself, I guess. Actually,
53:10
I was probably thinking about that like a day
53:11
or two ago. I was like, that guy didn't even
53:13
know the fucking rules. I didn't know the rule,
53:16
but I'm not a fucking NFL head coach. Like It's
53:22
not my job to make millions of dollars to know
53:25
the rules. You know the rules, rules, rules.
53:28
God, it's a bum. Are the bills resting starters?
53:33
Do we know? I don't think so because I think
53:36
they still have a chance to like move up in seating.
53:39
This is like the year where it's like seating
53:42
is not yet determined for literally anybody but
53:46
the Green Bay Packers sitting at seven. I might,
53:49
might have a play on the bills. We'll see if
53:52
any news about that comes out. Um, cause I was
53:55
trying to look it up before and it was like,
53:58
according to McDermott, it was like everyone
54:00
who's healthy will like, we'll start. And then
54:02
I was reading like a bunch of like block, like
54:05
fan, like, or not fan, but like websites, like
54:09
around the team, they're like, well, it's like,
54:11
yeah, they're going to start. But if they get
54:12
up by like two touchdowns in the second half,
54:15
they'll probably pull them. And they were like,
54:18
yeah, they definitely like Josh Allen should
54:19
not be playing this game. A lot of people were
54:21
saying, especially, I think it's going to snow.
54:25
So depending on what happens with them might
54:29
have a plan, the bills. Um, so yeah, check out
54:31
their follow the Twitter or the X, excuse me.
54:35
The bills have a chance of being the five, six
54:37
or seven seed. So I don't know what you're playing
54:41
for, but so many things have to happen. like
54:44
i'm just like looking at these scenarios and
54:46
it's like 60 win plus chargers loss plus houston
54:52
win plus jacksville win and or uh chargers win
54:56
houston loss and i'm like dude this is crazy
54:59
i don't even know how like people keep up with
55:01
this there's like one guy in the end up in the
55:05
espn studio where like his job is it's like the
55:08
last like three or four weeks of the year is
55:10
always like this team has a 5 % chance to make
55:14
the playoffs. They just win their games and this
55:17
guy loses their games and this team also loses
55:20
their games and this team, their plane has to
55:25
crash in the middle of nowhere and their team
55:28
has to die and then they make the playoffs. There's
55:33
always that one guy who's like, it's his sole
55:36
job for like, you know, four weeks, the last
55:39
four weeks of the NFL season. similar vein to
55:43
Mel Kuiper. I was just about to say this, very
55:46
Mel Kuiper -ish of him. Only being relevant for
55:53
four weeks out of the year. Yeah, like a month,
55:55
Mel Kuiper is like the guy. Well, I don't know
56:00
if you'd say he's the guy, but he's the guy at
56:04
the end. He's there. He's in the mix. He's the
56:07
draft guy. He wrote that book that one time.
56:10
Yeah, that one time like 40 years ago. So I think
56:15
good for him. Never been wrong about anything.
56:18
I mean, he only has to work one month a year.
56:22
Well, I mean, yeah. So you think he'd be half
56:24
decent at his job, but whenever. Hey, man. If
56:29
he's really, if he really has to like work like
56:32
a lot, like one month out of the year, he's a
56:36
lot more right than I am. Well, I have, I have
56:38
more respect for this stats guy than I do Mel
56:41
Kuiper. I mean, at least like he's giving you
56:43
like actual like facts. It's like this, this
56:46
guy, this team has a 2 % chance to make the playoffs
56:50
at this, this, this, and this. And also that
56:53
has to happen. That's, that's just fucking that's
56:58
ball knowledge right there. That's certified
57:01
ball knowledge. What I don't really get is like,
57:04
these draft guys, these draft experts, quote
57:07
unquote, why are they never like talking college
57:10
football during the season? Like if you're a
57:13
draft expert, you know, like you think like you
57:17
watch, you would probably watch a shit ton of
57:19
college football, but we never hear from them
57:22
like at all during the college football season.
57:24
So that could just be maybe ESPN doesn't want
57:27
to put them on or whatever, but also it's like,
57:29
maybe they don't actually watch that much college
57:31
football. Why is Mel Kuyper never on college
57:34
game day? Because I don't think he watches college
57:37
football. He just looks at numbers and clips.
57:41
Yeah, yeah. That's why I thought Shudder Sanders
57:44
was the greatest quarterback of all time. His
57:47
numbers weren't that great either. They were
57:50
fine for Colorado. Yeah. 12 -13. Who's to say?
58:04
Well Other than the ball, how was your your holidays?
58:12
I haven't had mine yet Had some family illnesses,
58:17
so didn't get to celebrate also Sister and brother
58:20
-in -law were out of town but we're doing it
58:23
tonight and little hot dog update I bought my
58:28
dad a fire pit That you know, you've like put
58:32
wood in and stuff, but it's got Retractable grill
58:38
grates on the top of it. Oh, that's pretty cool.
58:40
So good I am definitely going to meal prep some
58:45
campfire dogs because If I'm gonna have to eat
58:49
hot dogs, I'm gonna eat them the best way which
58:51
is on an open flame That's a good strat I like
58:55
that. Yes, this was a big brain move. I bought
58:59
it like, I literally bought this on Christmas
59:03
day. And I was like, hey, this is a good idea.
59:10
I do not have anywhere to put that Chris. I guess
59:13
that's true. Plus it's something for that my
59:19
dad can use. And also I can use and exploit.
59:24
when I go over there. And it's something we could
59:26
do together. Grilling wieners. Grilling wieners.
59:31
And other things. Hey, you might want to flip
59:35
that one over. Yeah, he doesn't know about it
59:41
yet, but this episode is dropping tonight, so
59:45
whatever. So hopefully he likes it, first of
59:49
all. Yeah, hopefully. I will be exploiting the
59:55
hell out of that thing, especially for these,
59:58
these hot dogs. Yeah. Uh, which I will be starting
1:00:03
next week. Next. All right. Next week. Um, after
1:00:09
the holidays, you know, back to our regularly
1:00:12
scheduled program. Um, I'm thinking that I might
1:00:15
start it on the show. Just. So we have visual
1:00:22
reference of me actually eating hot dogs. I like
1:00:26
it. Okay. Are you going to like next week? Are
1:00:31
you thinking like you're going to like eat one
1:00:33
at the end and be like, Hey, here's to the next
1:00:35
hour for me. Or are you going to like just like
1:00:37
throughout the episode? I think with every pick
1:00:42
that we have, which I'm assuming with the playoffs,
1:00:46
we're going to have a pick for every game. Yeah,
1:00:49
probably. So I'm just gonna down six hot dogs.
1:00:53
All right. Hot dogs are however many games there
1:00:56
are in the there's six right in the wild card.
1:01:00
Yes. Because there's 18 there's eight teams,
1:01:03
but to eat two teams get a buy. Yeah. So okay.
1:01:06
So yeah. Yeah. So I think I'm gonna just down
1:01:09
six during the shot for every pick that we have.
1:01:14
All right. Do you have a strat? when it comes
1:01:18
to like, are you going to eat like three per
1:01:20
meal per day? And then do it that way? Or are
1:01:24
we just like, yeah, you know, I have three, I
1:01:27
can, I can do like two more. I think we talked
1:01:31
about this a little last week, but the strat
1:01:35
is like two, three, three, like throughout the
1:01:38
day. But two, three, three. Yeah, two breakfast,
1:01:44
three lunch, three dinner. Okay. Um, but you
1:01:50
know, there, there may be a point where I'm like,
1:01:52
you know, I could eat another one. It's just
1:02:01
funny thing about breakfast hot. Did you put
1:02:07
an egg on a hot dog? That sounds pretty good.
1:02:10
Well, fried egg on a hot dog. Fried egg. Okay.
1:02:12
I was about to ask what kind of egg you do it.
1:02:15
over medium? Do you do it more runny? I don't
1:02:19
do, I don't eat hot talks for breakfast. Okay.
1:02:24
I'm just throwing out ideas. Neither do I, but
1:02:27
I'm just asking how you like your eggs. Jesus.
1:02:32
Well, how do you like your eggs? Um, recently.
1:02:36
Well, when you get an egg, you've had an egg
1:02:39
on a burger though, right? It's kind of the same
1:02:42
principle. Yeah. Do you like it more runny? Or
1:02:45
do you like it more cooked? I like it more runny.
1:02:50
I think like cooked egg yolk is like, I don't
1:02:54
know. It's not really a great experience. It's
1:02:57
just like a chalky. I'm the opposite. I don't
1:03:01
like it runny. It's icky. I also hate having
1:03:06
to say like over hard when you order. Yeah. You
1:03:12
just scrambled the egg. Yeah. Sprinkle it with
1:03:19
like some bacon bits or something. Yeah. But
1:03:22
I mean, scrambled also kind of works for like
1:03:24
hot dogs because you can like shape it, you know,
1:03:28
with the dog. Very true. Recently, I've been
1:03:35
doing my eggs over easy, which is like kind of
1:03:40
like on a low heat, you put the top on it. after
1:03:43
you crack it and then it it kind of cooks the
1:03:46
top a little bit um but not the yolk so much
1:03:51
and so it takes like a couple minutes longer
1:03:56
but it's like pretty good and then if uh sometimes
1:04:02
I do like so that sometimes I do like uh like
1:04:07
a fried egg with like the yolk uh runny But that
1:04:13
one's like really quick because it's like kind
1:04:15
of high heat you crack it in there and Then you
1:04:20
put the top on it for like 30 seconds and it's
1:04:23
like the edges are like kind of crispy and then
1:04:25
you flip it and then you let that cook for like
1:04:28
maybe 10 seconds and then you flip it back over
1:04:32
and Hopefully you haven't busted the yoke And
1:04:35
you're done down the hatch Right anyway, this
1:04:40
was egg toss me will Yeah, real egg talk. This
1:04:44
is Will Palmer's breakfast corner. This is breakfast
1:04:50
nook, if you will. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah.
1:04:56
I think the strat is just take it day by day.
1:04:59
Just eat as many as I can without feeling too
1:05:02
sick. I could eat another one. I mean, we've
1:05:08
all had those days. You know, or you you feel
1:05:11
like you're done eating hot dogs and then you're
1:05:13
like, I don't know. Yeah, I used to be a pack
1:05:17
a week guy. Pack of hot dogs a week. I don't
1:05:26
eat hot dogs often. Like at all. Yeah, on like
1:05:32
special occasions like when it's for survival,
1:05:37
pretty much. Like at Bonnaroo or, or maybe the
1:05:42
4th of July. I don't know. I was going to say
1:05:44
it was 4th of July the last time I've had a hot
1:05:46
dog. It's even then I'm not sure if I had one.
1:05:50
Something that's appropriate for a hot dog, but.
1:05:55
Interesting. Well, Christopher, how was your
1:05:57
holiday? It was good. Um, not much really to
1:06:02
write home about, uh, went to. Uh, Kelsey's family's
1:06:05
house on Christmas day. And then my family's
1:06:08
the weekend after, but, um, I guess I can't share
1:06:11
this. Came down the stairs Christmas morning.
1:06:15
Looked over at the tree. See what Santa bought
1:06:17
me. There's this big ass present wrapped underneath
1:06:20
55 inch screen television. All right. It's not
1:06:26
expecting that. Let's go get Santa. See. Okay.
1:06:36
We said this year, we're only, we're only going
1:06:39
to do one big gift, but, and then like, just
1:06:42
like stocking stuffers after that, essentially,
1:06:44
because getting married, trying to save money.
1:06:46
So she, her thing she wanted, really wanted was
1:06:49
to go to the Nate Varghese thing at Bridgestone
1:06:51
a couple of weeks ago. So we did that. And that
1:06:54
wasn't like cheap. So we were, I think monetarily
1:06:58
we're even, but She didn't really have anything
1:07:01
to like unwrap Christmas Day because that was
1:07:03
a couple weeks ago And I come down I see this
1:07:06
big -ass box and I saw it in my first words like
1:07:09
what the fuck did she get me? Unwrap it and I
1:07:14
saw I was like I'm very grateful. I love this,
1:07:17
but I'm mad at you No I was like you did so much
1:07:25
better than I did this bullshit I can enjoy this
1:07:29
for years yeah and years yeah but it was when
1:07:36
we because we're gonna hang it up in the uh living
1:07:38
room and to get the tv up that we had right now
1:07:41
was a pain in the ass then we have to get like
1:07:42
a new bracket and i just i said it's like well
1:07:46
i guess it'll even out because i'm gonna get
1:07:48
furious when we have to hang this thing so right
1:07:52
might have to hire a guy I mean, we've done it
1:07:57
before. Like we can't, it's just a pain in the
1:07:59
ass, but whatever. Yeah. So that was, that was
1:08:04
very nice. I'm very, very happy. I'm very, the
1:08:08
present is one of the best I've ever got. So
1:08:10
I don't want to seem ungrateful. I was just mad
1:08:14
because she won. She won Christmas. Christmas
1:08:20
is only just a construct. You can win today,
1:08:23
even tomorrow. or even the rest of your life.
1:08:28
I'm gonna win January 3rd. January 3rd will be
1:08:34
mine. What's January 3rd? I was just down a couple
1:08:39
days from now. How was your Christmas, Will?
1:08:43
Oh, for tomorrow. Oh yeah, Will. I talked to
1:08:46
you about this, but yeah, tell Chris. Yeah, so
1:08:49
I told Sean the whole story, but I'll tell an
1:08:53
abridged version. So we went to my brother -in
1:08:56
-law's place in Indiana Christmas Eve and we
1:09:00
got there like nine and the kids were asleep
1:09:03
and I was like okay thank God I don't have to
1:09:08
deal with them today and then they were like
1:09:10
we were sleeping on an air mattress in their
1:09:12
living room and I was like this is fine and they
1:09:15
were like hey they're they're gonna wake up early
1:09:18
and I'm like that's fine they are children there's
1:09:22
three of them They're only young once I I have
1:09:27
no business being upset about this and so they
1:09:31
woke up at like 6 and then Came out there did
1:09:35
their whole Christmas thing And you know, that
1:09:39
was cool and then Christmas was like kind of
1:09:41
you know Pretty pretty pretty doable in a household
1:09:46
with three small children both one five and seven
1:09:52
And then we went to Waffle House. And the oldest,
1:09:59
he was just like, off the wall at Waffle House.
1:10:02
And I was like, hey, man, you know, the servers
1:10:06
here fight. This is Waffle House. This isn't
1:10:10
this is a Chili's. This is Waffle House. Put
1:10:13
your ass in that seat. And he wasn't having it.
1:10:17
But yeah, it's funny. Not wrong. I'm not wrong.
1:10:23
No. Um, and then Christmas was, you know, it
1:10:28
was cool. Um, and then, uh, then whenever they
1:10:31
went to bed, uh, at night, I started drinking
1:10:35
heavily and then, um, I left a bottle of whiskey
1:10:38
over there and, uh, which I was kind of sad about
1:10:42
it, but also like this guy needs it a lot more
1:10:45
than I do. Um, so I was like, you know what?
1:10:48
You can, you can have this, uh, And then the
1:10:52
day after Christmas, um, they were supposed to
1:10:55
stay in their room still seven 30, uh, but at
1:10:57
six 45, um, the two oldest had walkie talkies
1:11:02
and they were on a secret mission, uh, to go
1:11:07
get their toys from the living room, which is
1:11:09
where me and my wife were sleeping. And, um,
1:11:12
I don't know if you guys ever put this together,
1:11:14
but walkie talkies are famously not quiet. And
1:11:21
neither are two two five and seven year olds
1:11:25
running through the house trying to be quiet
1:11:29
So I was woken up. I wasn't hungover But you
1:11:34
know, I had a couple the night before and you
1:11:37
know, you obviously need your sleep after that
1:11:39
so I was a bit upset and then and then my brother
1:11:45
-in -law made breakfast and This part is hilarious
1:11:50
He makes this oatmeal bake thing, and he slices
1:11:54
up some strawberries, gives it to the middle
1:11:56
child, who's a five -year -old girl. And she
1:12:02
takes it, and she looks at her plate, and she
1:12:04
goes, I don't want strawberries. Jesus Christ.
1:12:10
And I was just like, they're on the side. They're
1:12:13
not mixed in with the main, the entree. They're
1:12:20
just on this you don't even have to eat them
1:12:22
and then she stomped And went into a room and
1:12:25
started crying and I was just like what the fuck
1:12:27
is happening right now. What are we even doing?
1:12:31
This is this is crazy and so That happened. It's
1:12:37
great birth control. Yeah, it is and then uh
1:12:42
After breakfast I got our shit ready and I was
1:12:44
like we should go home. She was like, okay That
1:12:50
was part one of my Christmas weekend extravaganza,
1:12:57
which part two was also a bit not great, but
1:13:04
different story for a different time. Stay tuned
1:13:07
for next week. Roshani's hot dogs and I tell
1:13:11
another story about children. We'll see y 'all
1:13:14
next week. And also gambling. And also gambling.
1:13:16
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