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Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Cruising gone wrong · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop, stop what you're doing.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank call from Darren Wackhead,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: something exclusive to KFM Mornings.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: When last for you on a cruise?
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Sherilyn Barnes, I've never been on a cruise, never my life, never, kid,
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: never have I ever?
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Really sce you've been on a cruise. I'll be honest
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: with you.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Nothing about appeals to me.
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: No, I know, I definitely it's on the list of
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: things to do.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I want to go on a cruise.
• 0:33
  Speaker 5: No.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: I the idea of being on a ship in the
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: open waters and then it's nighttime and it's just a
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: sea of black.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Does it make you scared a little bit?
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: Imagine just like going for a weekend. You've got great
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: DJs on Dick, You're with your friends, could be a
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: good time.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: You've been on a cruise? Never ever, Finness, you must
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: have been on a cruise.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: You've left I hope indeed, where did you go? The
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: last one I was on was to vin Took, So
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: from Cape Town to to to vin Took.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: It was just it was an MSc cruise.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It was awesome.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: But off climb dune what is it six or seven?
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: The highest tune in in the world and.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: The cruise.
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: Needless to say, you don't need anything from the minute
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: you put your foot on that ship.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Party starts and producer brand I know we've done quite
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: a few cruises together.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: H No, I haven't done a cruise. You don't. I
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: know the ones you're referencing, but no, I was a
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: salon time.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: It was that guy was how terrible you don't even
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: know your guy wasn't on the boat?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: That is?
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: How much of a blood was I know the stories.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I know the story.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Look, there's there's many like theme cruises. So we sa
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: radio station theme cruises, but there's many theme cruises like
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: whatever whatever floats your boat? Literally, you know, there's a
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: heavy metal cruise you can go on. They call it
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: their head Banger's boats are all over the world. There's
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: a Nightmare it does.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Slip, not a cruise.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: There's the Temptation crewis singles or actually.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: No, it's non single. Probably go up.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: There's a Star Trek cruise. Can you imagine everybody coming
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: dressed up as cool? There's even such a thing as
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: a crochet cruise.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: It's just cruising and something for everyone.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: There is so these dear old ladies. I'll say young ladies.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: They're only sixty spring chickens. Yes, so they are now
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: booking a cruise. They're besties, long lost besties connecting, like
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: living in different parts of South Africa. Now they're going
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: to connect and they're gonna, you know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Let's do a cruise. Here, let's do a cruise. Okay.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: So they booked a cruise and this is where I
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: come in. Okay, because they just what date's suitable for you?
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: What dates suitable for me? Okay, and no diary, let's
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: think these Let's just book a cruise.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Let's go. Well, I got news for you. Here we go.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: Ladies.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Are they like best best friends?
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: They worked diven years ago and then they found each
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: other recently now again, but now they're on dis trips.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: E a year now.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Okay, Hello, I'm looking for missus.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: Please speaking.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: My name is Craig. I'm calling you from Plots Cruisers. Yes,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: it's speaky, just.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Confirming the twenty second to the twenty fifth for four person.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Look, I don't know if you have been informed about
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: the weight limitations on luggage yet. No, the weight limitation
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: on luggage is only one kilogram. Yeah, because you know,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: we don't expect people to be bringing much luggage, especially
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: for this specific cruise.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: That is least it is a little because this is.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: The let it all hang out cruise. People don't wear
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: the clothes.
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  Speaker 1: On this cruise.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, only your costume. No, this is the neudest cruise.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Oh my, this is the cruise where people don't wear clothes, ma'am.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: No clothes, no clothes, no clothes, you know, no clothes.
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: How can you expect me to wear no.
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  Speaker 1: Clothes, ma'am?
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: It's very clearly on the post decalt cruise.
• 5:00
  Speaker 6: Listen, my friend, listen, can you tell me I am
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: not allowed to wear it?
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  Speaker 1: Close? No, close, listen.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: I don't want to talk to you, but first fun
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: and okay, hold on, I'm going to call and right
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: now and we can all discuss this.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: What's about.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Hello, I'm looking for missus from speaking.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: What would your della on my note?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: I think it's a new cruise.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: And save my eyes, funny cruises off and save if
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: my ma.
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: I think you look from the houses and then gets
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: a book for a cruise.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: But I can't hear Madron.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: We were what's wrong with our cruise?
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: Actually it's just a cal it's the babes in birthday suits.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Cruise, ma'n we come.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: Down and new this cruise.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I'm sixty and new ma'am. How old are you?
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Sixty? My husband is sixty nine.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: Do you think about any chance he is going to
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: walk around nude at the age of sixty nine? Men
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: excellently proper to be influent me.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Not love company.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: Would you rather be on the Swingers cruise?
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: No?
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, no, definitely not, because if we're
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: not swingers, it.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Is a lot of fun we've got for the elderly
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: people like yourself. We've got naked binger and we've also
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: got the full monthy cabreation.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: I think it's disgusting. I don't want to go on
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: a swingers cruise. I don't want to go on a
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: New S cruise. I just want to go to the
• 6:41
  Speaker 5: Portuguese island. Maybe before the ship is an out to Sana.
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: You come and tell me it's a New S cruise.
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: I mean, this is ridiculous, and I think it's discussing
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: you people even have such a cruise and needs people
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: go and the false pretenses on the screws book on
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: the S cruiser, I'm being told from the beginning of
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: what type of cruise it is?
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Well, man, what I can do, as I said, for
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: when it's a mix up like this, because obviously you
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: don't want to be seeing anything, we will give you
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: complimentary blind folds which you can wear.
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: Listen, that's what's the helmets.
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: I woke around in a bland see ninety. I'm sorry,
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: but I've gotten.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: Because what what is he is a guy on a
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  Speaker 3: cruise with a.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Blonde folds, weigh sunglasses.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: I'm not walking around you down the.
• 7:45
  Speaker 6: Ship, ma'am.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Do you know who's speaking?
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: No, I don't.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: It's actually wicked Simpson.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: If I work your block and you're more still, look
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: if you know that your daughter Petre is involved. Yeah,
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: I know that they sound like they would be an
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: absolute jawl on a cruise.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: You would like to be sixty and going with them.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I think they would. They would rock a cruise. Yeah,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: they sound like a good time.
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  Speaker 3: Absolute jaw Okay, No, there's no new cruise in South Africa.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: By the way, you did that research him in case
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: you were wondering, like, look, I know it's a frank
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  Speaker 3: that like you need details.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I'm surprised by that.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, we're quite a free nation in many ways
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  Speaker 2: because we have nude beaches.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I think we have nude beach.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: One beach.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I think we only have one info for that beach. Yeah,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: it's still around. What is it Sandy Bay? I wonder
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: how many people go there every day?
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  Speaker 3: Never been? Well, would you like to do a bit
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: of reconnois reconnaissance.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I'll come back with the story with the full details.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: M Yeah, Okay, that was so sweet.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: Okay, if you want anybody prank down, heres at kfame
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  Speaker 3: dot co dot z a