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I think we have an attitude problem · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: I think we've got an attitude problem. It's one more thing.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: I'm strong and getty. One more thing. Shut up. I
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: hate you, I hate everything.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: So Reddit has been around for a while. I don't
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: know when it started, but it certainly was around in
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  Speaker 1: twenty ten. And this is a big a research piece
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  Speaker 1: they did on Reddit responses to a particular question, people
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  Speaker 1: that are in unhappy marriages.
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  Speaker 2: There's lots and lots of Reddit threads around this sort
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  Speaker 2: of stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Anyway, they filtered out relationship advice from one point two
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  Speaker 1: million comments over the years since twenty ten to twenty
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  Speaker 1: twenty five, So over fifteen years, one point two million comments.
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  Speaker 1: When you describe being in a bad relationship, you know,
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  Speaker 1: my marriage isn't going why? What? Well? Whatever?
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  Speaker 2: The reason is back in the day.
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  Speaker 1: And by back in the day, I mean twenty ten,
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  Speaker 1: I don't mean like nineteen thirty, in nineteen eighty.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, it's not the amount of change, it's the
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  Speaker 2: pace that's making people insane.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah it is. Yeah, I want to make sure I
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  Speaker 1: get the number completely right.
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  Speaker 3: God, the fact that twenty ten was fifteen years ago.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome to aging well and worth well. Yeah that too.
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  Speaker 2: But the idea that in a lot of these things.
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  Speaker 2: It's worth drawing a comparison between now and twenty ten.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, why would it be that didn't exist. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: if you compared you know, obviously eighteen seventy to eighteen
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  Speaker 1: sixty in terms of marriage trends, there will be a
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  Speaker 1: lot of difference.
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  Speaker 2: Well, if you compare them in terms of number of
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  Speaker 2: civil wars going on there, it'd be a difference.
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  Speaker 1: But no, yeah, and so as recently as twenty ten,
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  Speaker 1: so it's only fifteen years ago. Overall, the advice of
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  Speaker 1: end the relationship was about a third, less than a third.
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  Speaker 1: Thirty percent of the respondents would say end the relationship.
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  Speaker 1: When you got on there with you, my marriage is
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  Speaker 1: not happy.
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  Speaker 2: Here's what's going on.
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  Speaker 1: It's now over fifty percent. It's gone up twenty percent
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  Speaker 1: just since twenty ten. Of people would say just end
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  Speaker 1: your marriage.
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  Speaker 2: Then, well that's got to be because fewer and fewer
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  Speaker 2: people are in relationships, so they have no idea. What
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  Speaker 2: they're talking about is that is that what's the explanation
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  Speaker 2: is according to what you're looking at or well, all.
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  Speaker 1: The other numbers decline a lot, So, uh, give space
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  Speaker 1: and time to your spouse who you're having a problem
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  Speaker 1: with has gone from twenty five percent of respondents down
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  Speaker 1: to barely double digits. Say you should give your spouse
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  Speaker 1: some time in space to try to fix this. It
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  Speaker 1: all went down. Communicate about this went from a quarter
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  Speaker 1: down to uh, barely double digits, just you know, the
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  Speaker 1: simple idea of talk to them about it.
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  Speaker 2: That's crazy, it is, I mean, that's stupid, it's toxic,
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  Speaker 2: it's inexcusable. It's an indictment of everything that will follow.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, so communicate and give space dropped a lot. Set
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  Speaker 1: boundaries went up some, which is also a bit of
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  Speaker 1: a negative. I mean it, it can be positive, but
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: it's got a little bit of a negative flare to it.
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  Speaker 1: More than talk to them or give them some space,
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  Speaker 1: set some strong boundaries with me, you're no longer allowed
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  Speaker 1: to do this.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, take a relationship.
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  Speaker 3: That's another way of cutting you know, cutting it off
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  Speaker 3: kind of.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's altimate to me. Sometimes it's necessary.
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  Speaker 1: But yeah, h compromise went down about by about half.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, of course it did. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: The only one that went up much, and it went
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  Speaker 1: up a lot, from thirty percent to over fifty percent,
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  Speaker 1: is end the relationship divorce that is crazy.
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  Speaker 2: And then that's something. What does that mean about society?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, if people aren't willing to work it out anymore,
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  Speaker 2: clearly effort, Michael, I enjoyed judging as much as anybody.
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  Speaker 2: I ought to be on the Supreme Court. I'm so judgment.
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  Speaker 2: But if you not only haven't had serious relationships and
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  Speaker 2: you just live an online life, and you're like kind
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  Speaker 2: of the second generation of that fewer and fewer relations
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  Speaker 2: so you haven't seen role models of good relationships in
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  Speaker 2: front of you, how the f would you have any
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  Speaker 2: idea what advice to give? And so what you're seeing
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  Speaker 2: here is a bunch of cynical I live my life
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  Speaker 2: online types saying very onliney things.
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  Speaker 1: I would love to know. I don't know how much marriage.
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  Speaker 1: The number of people getting married is chained in fifteen years.
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  Speaker 1: I know it's declining, but I don't know. But I
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  Speaker 1: think it's pretty solid that the number of people getting
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  Speaker 1: into relationships at all has declined quite a bit. So
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  Speaker 1: if you've never been in a relationship and you secretly
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  Speaker 1: want to be in one, I don't care what you
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  Speaker 1: say about how happy you are alone, you want to
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  Speaker 1: be in a relationship.
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  Speaker 2: You just do that's the way you're built.
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  Speaker 1: But so you of course you're happier that other people
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  Speaker 1: aren't in relationships. It whether you're whether you acknowledge it,
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  Speaker 1: or it's all subconscious you hate somebody else being in
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  Speaker 1: a happy relationship.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds yeah. These And this also sounds like
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  Speaker 3: it might be coming from people who had one bad
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  Speaker 3: relationship and have just said f them all kind of.
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  Speaker 2: I was just going to bring up the person who's
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: had a couple of relationships and have given up or
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  Speaker 2: they say, you know, there's no woman worth you know.
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  Speaker 2: I won't put a sacrifices blah blah blah.
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  Speaker 1: I won't put too fine a point on this to
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  Speaker 1: keep myself out of trouble. But if your spouse starts
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  Speaker 1: hanging around with divorced people it is who who are single,
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  Speaker 1: it's much worse for you than if your spouse hangs
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  Speaker 1: around with people who are making it work, going through
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  Speaker 1: the grind of being married and raising kids and doing
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  Speaker 1: the whole thing, as opposed to hanging around with somebody
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  Speaker 1: who's divorced and talking.
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  Speaker 2: About all the fun they could happen. Why do you
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  Speaker 2: put up with that?
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  Speaker 1: And blah blah blah, Because they love to cut this
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  Speaker 1: divorce is a contagent. I've seen it over and over
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  Speaker 1: again at various workplaces and stuff like that. Friend groups.
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  Speaker 1: It is absolutely a contagion. And somebody else gives the
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  Speaker 1: permission structure and then starts, you know, with the caretive.
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  Speaker 1: Look how great this and fun this life is out
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  Speaker 1: here compared to your drudgery. But if you hang around
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  Speaker 1: with other people who are, like I said, doing the deal,
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  Speaker 1: it's less likely to happen. And so you got all
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  Speaker 1: these people on here reading these things. They're they're in
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  Speaker 1: the no no, no, no, you should join us in
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  Speaker 1: our happiness using my finger goes, because they're not that
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  Speaker 1: happy out here in single world.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, misery loves company.
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  Speaker 2: Yep, exactly. You know that's two hundred percent as a friend.
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  Speaker 2: As a student rather of language, I have like shelves
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  Speaker 2: of books of quotations. Is there one? I mean, because
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  Speaker 2: misery loves company, Drunks want everybody to drink more, stoners
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  Speaker 2: want everybody to take another hit or smoke if they
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  Speaker 2: don't smoke pot, you know, is maybe birds of a
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  Speaker 2: feather flock together. I'm trying to think, is there a
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  Speaker 2: great quotation that communicates what we're talking about. Everybody feels
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  Speaker 2: better if more people are doing what they're doing, they
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  Speaker 2: feel justified in themselves.
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  Speaker 1: If you get divorced too, Yeah, I know because I've
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  Speaker 1: seen it one hundred percent. Like I've had friends who
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  Speaker 1: I've watched this appen not only with my own life,
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  Speaker 1: but they enjoy when their friend gets divorced too. Somehow,
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  Speaker 1: it I don't know, makes them feel better.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know why. And you have kind of a
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  Speaker 2: kinship going, I guess.
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  Speaker 3: And on the flip side, I've actually been in this
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  Speaker 3: situation where I've had a friend get irritated with me
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  Speaker 3: when I got married and my life started getting better.
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  Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, I've seen that also, yep. Absolutely, Oh is
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  Speaker 2: that persons still a friend? Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Wow, absolutely. When you're younger, I remember, like you know,
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  Speaker 1: you got the friend group. All us dudes were hanging
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  Speaker 1: out or watching a football game on Saturday, drinking beer,
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  Speaker 1: and then somebody gets a steady girlfriend and they're not
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  Speaker 1: part of that anymore. You secretly want the steady girlfriend
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  Speaker 1: like they have, right, but you're kind of angry that
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  Speaker 1: they do, and you'd love it if they broke up
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  Speaker 1: and they come back to hang out with you. Drinking beer,
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  Speaker 1: watching football, wasting your wife on a Sunday afternoon.
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  Speaker 2: That's just the way we're built, I guess.
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  Speaker 1: But the fact that it's moved that much in fifteen
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  Speaker 1: years is the thing.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's right. I'd kind of spaced off
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  Speaker 2: that it was fifteen years.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so now, oh my, it's just since twenty ten
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  Speaker 1: that's gone from thirty percent to over fifty percent of
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  Speaker 1: divorce them.
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  Speaker 3: That's so crazy.
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  Speaker 2: So dump them is now almost five to one over
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  Speaker 2: communicate or give them space. That's that's okay, that's just
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  Speaker 2: you're you're in a cesspool. You're asking just stupid, ignorant,
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  Speaker 2: evil people for advice.
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  Speaker 1: Well that's kind of what redd it is. It should
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  Speaker 1: be their sub edit, right, asking stupid people for their advice.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, stupid evil people, trolls giving advice.
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  Speaker 2: We are in a spot turned to ignorant trolls. Misery
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  Speaker 2: loves company. Maybe it's as simple as that could be,
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  Speaker 2: or but it's it's more than misery though. It's it's
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  Speaker 2: every drunk wants everybody else to have one more drink
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  Speaker 2: to because it gives you cover. I don't have a problem.
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  Speaker 2: Everybody's doing it. Humans don't I don't like it.
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  Speaker 1: And on that trajectory, where's that gonna be in five,
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  Speaker 1: ten more years?
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  Speaker 3: Oh boy, that's a scary thought.
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  Speaker 1: Is there any reason I think that's gonna level off
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  Speaker 1: or start stop going at that rate?
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  Speaker 2: Miserable, childless isolation. That's fine, it's a pretty steep chart.
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  Speaker 3: All be dating robots, Yep, don't date robots.
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  Speaker 2: We'll all be dating robots. That's what's saying, Daton, No,
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  Speaker 2: damn robot. What they look like. There's one more woman
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  Speaker 2: on earth. I'm gonna find her. Oh my god, they're
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  Speaker 2: looking real. Now what can I jags do in sex bots?
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  Speaker 2: Jack's doing sex bots? How can I dress them to
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  Speaker 2: mock you like it's a schoolard?
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  Speaker 3: However you want, Jack, that's the beauty of dating robots.
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  Speaker 1: It's it's I actually feel the opposite of it. I
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  Speaker 1: feel like, as a single man out in the world,
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  Speaker 1: there's more opportunities for me as some as you weirdos
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  Speaker 1: go that direction and uh and isolate more as a
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  Speaker 1: single man.
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  Speaker 2: That I had a sex bot, I'd have it look
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  Speaker 2: just like my wife.
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  Speaker 1: Oh that that should be on a car, That should
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: actually be you gotta write that, du Yeah, send that
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  Speaker 1: to Hallmark.
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  Speaker 2: It's complete bullet, but it's you know, it's a nice sentiment. Wow,
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  Speaker 2: I've already got one of those. Maybe I want a
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  Speaker 2: tall redhead that doesn't make me a monster, does it? No,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna ask credit. Well, I guess that's it.