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How to Get and Stay Sober Today : Cravings, Anxiety, Triggers & What to Expect in Early Recovery · Recovering Out Loud

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  If you're in your first 30 days of sobriety and wondering
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  yourself, is this normal? Am I doing this right?
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  Let's talk about what you can actually do and what you can
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  expect in the next month. My name is Anthony.
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  I'm an addict in recovery, came into recovery at 2310 years ago.
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  I relapsed after eight years sober and now I'm an addictions
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  counselor giving the message that was passed on to me back on
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  to you. If you're just trying to get
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  sober or you're constantly relapsing and you're wondering
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  what the hell am I doing wrong, this video is for you.
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  We're going to break it down week by week.
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  Cravings, sleep, anxiety, what to expect, social stuff, and
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  what you can actually do each day to stay sober.
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  Quick disclaimer, I'm sharing lived experience.
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  Although I am an addiction counselor, I'm not a medical
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  doctor and if you're physically dependent on alcohol or drugs,
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  you need to go to a doctor and get detox properly and safely.
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  Why are the 1st 30 days such a big deal?
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  This is where most people relapse.
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  They start over and over again. They can't figure out why your
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  body and your brain are coming off of something they haven't
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  been without for a long time. The goal of the next 30 days is
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  not to fix your whole life to feel amazing every day.
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  The real goal is to survive those intense cravings without
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  having to pick up, build tiny, simple routines that make the
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  next day easier, and to show your brain that you can live
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  without alcohol. If you've been drinking heavily,
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  you should see a doctor before detoxing on your own.
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  Alcohol withdrawal is dangerous and lethal.
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  So before you quit drinking, you will feel anxiety, you will miss
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  alcohol. This is all totally normal.
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  I want you to shift your mindset from I have to figure out the
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  rest of my life sober to I'm just not going to drink today.
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  I'm learning how to do today without drinking.
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  All right, so days one to seven, this is a typical experience.
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  So from a physical standpoint, restless sleep or weird dreams,
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  sweat, shakiness, low energy, upset stomach, changes in
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  appetite. From an emotional standpoint,
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  there's going to be a lot of anxiety, repetitive thoughts,
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  mood swings, hope you could be hopeful in the morning and then
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  everything is coming to a screaming halt at night.
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  I remember my first night in this third rehab that I was at.
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  I had these crazy, I had these crazy thoughts of my wife dying
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  on the way home from dropping me off because and there was going
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  to be no way for them to tell me because I was in rehab.
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  Just these crazy thought loops in my head and I was convinced I
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  was like, what if she died? Scary stuff.
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  All totally normal. Talk about it, get it out there.
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  It loses power as soon as you get it out and it's not
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  ruminating in your head. So most important thing is to
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  focus on the 24 hours ahead. That's it.
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  Don't think about tomorrow, Don't think about next week.
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  Don't think about staying sober at your cousin's wedding or your
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  wedding. Can I get through today without
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  a drink? Or even better, can I get
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  through the next 15 minutes without a drink?
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  Drink lots of water, electrolyte drinks, try to eat something
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  even though you're definitely not going to be hungry.
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  Blood sugar crashes make cravings way worse.
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  I want you to simplify your life this week.
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  You might have to say no to some optional social event.
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  Keep your schedule basic sleep, food, movement, support, and
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  when a craving hits, pause, breathe and delay.
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  Tell yourself things like I can drink tomorrow if I still want
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  to, I'm not going to drink today.
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  Change your state, get up, go for a walk, take a cold shower,
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  call a friend, do something else.
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  Get your mind off of it. So week two days, 8 to 14, you
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  might think I'm feeling better. Was it really that bad?
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  It wasn't that bad. I was overreacting back.
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  You know, it's not that bad. I was overreacting.
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  Cravings can be more psychological than physical.
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  Now boredom hits extremely hard. You'll find that when you quit
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  drinking, you have a lot more time to do things.
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  Now that you're not going to the liquor store all the time and
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  trying to find ways to fund your escapades, people might now
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  start asking you why aren't you drinking?
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  Fucking weirdo, right? My favorite thing is when
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  someone offers you a drink in recovery.
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  No, I'm good, I'm just not drinking today.
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  Most of the time people will leave you alone, but if they
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  need to know and they just won't leave, it might be good to give
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  them a little bit of a taste of what it's like what happens when
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  you drink. And maybe it's time to be honest
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  for me. If I pick up that drink today,
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  I'll end up smoking meth again on your couch, crashing your
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  wife's car into the garage, then calling you and asking you to
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  bail me out of jail. Usually that shuts people up.
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  Be aware of the brain negotiation.
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  So maybe I'm not an addict. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
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  Maybe I can have beer instead of Scotch.
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  Your brain is going to continually try to trick you
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  into drinking again because your addiction wants you dead.
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  Let's be honest, this is where you can start introducing my one
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  of my favorite tools halt hungry, angry, lonely and tired.
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  Do not make decisions when you are in one of these phases or
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  states of mind. Whenever you have a craving, ask
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  yourself, am I hungry, am I lonely?
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  Am I angry? Am I tired?
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  This is where you should start to build a support system.
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  I mean you can really do this from the beginning in my
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  opinion, but something like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics
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  Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, SMART Recovery, right?
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  Doesn't have to be 12 step. I know a lot of you out there
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  are like fuck you 12 step, you old white bastards.
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  It's to each his own. Listen, I'm not going to stand
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  here and tell you there's only one way to recover.
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  Alcoholics Anonymous does not have a monopoly on recovery.
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  Find your way that works for you, that you like, and that
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  keeps you sober. You need a community of like
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  minded people who are sober because they've gone through
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  what you're going and they can better direct you.
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  Not your mom, not your sister, not your cousin.
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  All right, days 15 to 30, some of your energy is going to start
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  to come back. Brain fog may start to slowly
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  lift. You might be able to start
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  seeing things clearer. You might get some random strong
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  cravings out of nowhere. The other day I was, you know,
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  walking outside and I had this idea that I should probably get
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  into drug dealing because I don't have enough money
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  completely out of nowhere. But that was my brain trying to
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  get me to do drugs again to to jump back into addiction, right?
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  It literally can come out of nowhere.
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  You hear a song, you see someone used to party with, and all of a
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  sudden you think about the good old days, right?
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  How fun was that? It wasn't fun, let's be honest,
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  otherwise you wouldn't be watching this video.
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  It's important at this point to start building life routines,
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  simple stuff that we never did in our drinking and using that
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  people all around the world do every single day.
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  Making your bed, going for a walk in the morning, calling a
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  friend, cooking yourself three meals, brushing your teeth.
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  God when I was on when I was on Vyvanse for a long time I went
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  three days sometimes without showering and brushing my teeth
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  and I didn't even notice it. I abused Vyvanse by the way.
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  I don't have ADHD. If you're a spiritual person, I
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  highly recommend introducing prayer meditation in the
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  mornings. I do journaling and meditation.
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  Getting out all my thoughts. I do 3 pages every single
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  morning. I've just whatever is on my
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  mind, doesn't need to make sense, doesn't have to mean
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  anything, doesn't have to be perfect.
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  I just do it every morning and I find that it clears my mind and
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  allows for more positive thoughts to come.
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  Then at night, reflect on your day.
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  What went well today? What helped keep me sober today?
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  Did I do anything that maybe I shouldn't have done?
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  Do I own an apology somewhere and then make the amends?
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  Recovery is all about honest self appraisal, self searching.
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  I need to learn myself in recovery.
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  I need to learn why I do the things that I do and I need to
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  not do them anymore. If I in order to not do those
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  things anymore, like I don't know, yell at my wife or yell at
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  the guy riding the bike on the street, I need to be aware of
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  them. I need to know that I do them.
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  And I do that by journaling, by getting honest with myself and
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  telling people when I do fucked up shit.
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  Another thing that can help you at this time in your sobriety or
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  anytime really, start doing one thing at a time.
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  You know, we all have bills when we come in that pile up.
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  Maybe you haven't paid the bills in a while.
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  Maybe you haven't, I don't know, fed the dog.
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  Maybe you haven't called your mom in a while.
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  Start doing these little things 1 by 1 and keep a checklist to
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  do simple things. And that get that dopamine rush
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  of like, yeah, I did that today. Good job, Anthony.
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  Way to go. This is huge.
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  Give yourself a break, right? This is hard.
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  It's not easy to get sober. Start to notice the conversation
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  you have with yourself, right? Oh, you fucking idiot.
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  Replace that with I'm just doing the best I can and I make
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  mistakes. I'm a human being and I make
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  mistakes from time to time. Get that vocabulary of I'm a bad
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  person out of your head. It's not going to help you at
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  any point in this journey. All right, Common traps that you
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  will encounter in the first day, 30 days.
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  I feel better now. I'm going to drink normally.
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  I can just have one. Oh my God, I hear that all the
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  time. Let's be honest.
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  When was the last time you just had one of anything?
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  Don't fall back. Try your best not to fall back
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  into that cycle of drinking consequences, swearing you'll
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  never do it again, a few good days or weeks, forgetting all
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  that pain you just cause yourself and then back to maybe
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  I can just have one. You're probably feeling better
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  now because you've removed the substance, not because you can
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  drink normally again. Another trap you might fall into
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  is cross addiction replacing alcohol with sugar or gambling
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  or I don't know zins watch out for this stuff.
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  Shopping is another one. You know at one point my Amazon
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  guy replaced my drug dealer. I'm being dead serious.
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  I'm a lot better now. But hey, if buying sneakers on
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  the Internet is going to keep you sober another day, go for it
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  man. Your brain is looking for
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  dopamine right now so you might be so scrolling on social media
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  more. You might be gambling.
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  Just be aware of that stuff shopping included.
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  You just removed an important, the main really source of
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  dopamine that you were getting for all this time.
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  Beware of that trap 4 all or nothing, right?
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  We are very black and white thinkers.
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  I missed the meeting. I suck at this.
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  What's the point? I ate terribly last night, might
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  as well go drink. You can mess up your day without
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  throwing away your sobriety. Just get to tonight.
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  It's progress, not perfection. All right, I'm going to walk you
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  through a quick template of a day, if you will, in recovery.
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  That's going to be beneficial for you.
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  Wake up, drink water, hygiene routine, make your coffee reads
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  recovery literature journal, pray, meditate, say something
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  out loud like today's going to be a great day or I'm choosing
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  not to drink today, I will reassess tomorrow.
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  If that sounds stupid and I don't know hoaxy to you right
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  now, just try it. What do you have to lose?
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  Maybe you're wrong about getting sober.
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  I know I was. I needed help.
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  Next, move your body. So go to the gym, go for a walk,
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  something simple doesn't need to be a 2 hour thing at the gym
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  where you're lifting with all the Bros, 5/10/15 minutes on the
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  treadmill, anything, bike, whatever.
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  Move your body. Eat something real every three
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  to four hours. If a craving hits, go back to
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  the halt. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired.
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  What am I actually feeling right now?
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  Do I really want alcohol or am I hungry, angry, lonely and tired?
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  Text or call someone or listen to a recovery podcast to get
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  through it. It'll always pass.
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  I promise you, this too shall pass.
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  Every craving will pass eventually.
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  You have to do something about it.
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  You can't just sit in it and will your way through it.
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  You've done that long enough. Time for something new.
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  Start a gratitude list. One to three things you're
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  grateful for, even if it's as simple and seemingly
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  insignificant as I'm grateful for coffee, I'm grateful for my
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  legs, I'm grateful for my family.
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  Write it down, get it out. You don't need to feel confident
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  to be sober. Just keep making one good
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  decision at a time, and if you can't do the next right thing,
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  do the next thing right. I'm just not drinking today.
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  Just don't drink today. Get those bed sober, get to
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  midnight sober. I'll reassess tomorrow.
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  And if you're like me and you've relapsed 1000 times, you're not
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  alone though. As long as you're still alive,
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  you still have. There is still hope.
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  As long as you're still alive, there is still hope for you.
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  Keep trying, don't give up if you keep relapsing, maybe you
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  need a new plan, maybe you need to ask somebody else for help
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  and then follow the direction I want you to.
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  Drop your sobriety date in the comments.
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  How long you been going for? Tell me how your day is going.
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  Check in with me. Recovery is simple, not easy.
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  I've been doing this for 10 years and I'm anything but
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  perfect. I fuck up all the time, but what
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  I don't do today is pick up a drink or a drug and I pick up
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  the phone before I take that drink or drug.
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  Most important thing. Hardest thing.
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  Most important thing.