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Light In The Dark: Fear Is Making Your Decisions — And You Don't Even Know It · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

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  Hey, it's Sarah. I am so glad that you were here
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  again. Now, whether you stumbled onto
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  this tonight or you came back because something in you needed
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  to, I want you to know that this space is for you.
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  Just you, right here, right now. So imagine that in this moment,
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  I am just a Lantern in the dark, shining a little bit of light so
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  that you can see the next few steps.
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  Because tonight I want to talk to you about fear.
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  And not the kind that makes you jump when a door slams, but like
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  the quieter kind. The kind that lives in your
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  chest and makes decisions on your behalf before you even
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  realize it happened. Now, yesterday morning we talked
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  about being the lighthouse and about cultivating that
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  steadiness inside yourself and those small daily moments that
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  anchor you so that when the storm comes, you become the
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  stillness other people navigate by.
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  You become the stillness for yourself.
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  But tonight I want to sit with the part that doesn't get talked
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  about enough. What happens before you become
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  the lighthouse? And what happens when the storm
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  is inside of you and it's wearing the face of fear.
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  And I'm willing to bet you might be a little bit afraid tonight
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  of something. And if you're really truly
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  honest with yourself, just sit with that.
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  What are you afraid of right now?
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  Because here's what fear does that nobody tells you.
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  It doesn't announce itself. It doesn't walk in and say
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  hello, I'm fear. And I'm about to run your life
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  for a little while. It comes in dressed as logic and
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  as practicality, and I'm just being realistic.
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  It comes in as the reason you don't send the message or the
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  reason that you don't take the leap, that you don't leave, that
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  you don't stay, that you don't ask for what you need, that you
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  don't believe you deserve what you want.
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  And fear is a masterful disguise artist.
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  And when fear is at the wheel, we think we're driving.
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  So I want to ask you something, and I want you to just sit with
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  it. And you don't have to answer out
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  loud. Is there a decision you're
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  carrying right now? Something you've been circling
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  or avoiding or rushing toward that might be coming from fear
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  rather than the truth. And I know that's a tough ask
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  and I know it's, it can be even scarier to have to really sit
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  with that question and own it. But that's why I'm sitting here
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  with you. No judgment, no assumptions, no
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  expectations. Just notice.
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  Is there something that you are carrying right now that you've
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  been circling, avoiding, dodging, that might be coming
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  from fear rather than the truth? And just notice if something
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  comes up, just sit with it for a minute.
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  Because here's what I've come to understand about fear based
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  decisions. They almost always have a
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  particular feeling to them. They feel urgent and contracted
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  and restrictive and like you need to decide right now or
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  something terrible will happen. Kind of like if you slow down,
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  everything might fall apart. But that urgency and that
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  tightness, that's not wisdom talking.
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  That's a nervous system that learned a very, very long time
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  ago that uncertainty equals danger.
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  Just think about that. It feels dangerous when we just
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  don't know. And that makes sense.
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  It makes complete sense because at some point in your life,
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  probably when you were very young, uncertainty was
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  dangerous. And hell, it might have.
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  You might have had moments like that as an adult, and
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  unpredictability might have meant that someone wasn't
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  coming, or that someone was coming and you didn't know what
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  you were getting and it wasn't safe, whether physically,
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  emotionally, mentally, and it may have actually been safe, but
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  you perceived that it wasn't. So your body learned to scan and
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  to brace and to decide fast and to decide preemptively, because
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  waiting felt like a threat. And that was survival then.
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  I want you to hear that it was survival in those moments, and
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  it kept you going. But it might be running the show
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  now in places it was never meant to reach.
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  So what do we do with that? And this is where I want to
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  bring you back right now, gently into your body, because fear
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  lives in the body before it ever becomes a thought.
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  And the lighthouse, your lighthouse is built in your body
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  too. So let's just do one small thing
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  together. Wherever you are right now,
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  sitting lying down in your car, I want you to feel the surface
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  beneath you, the chair, the bed, the seat, Feel it hold you.
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  Literally put your hands on whatever surface is underneath
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  you right now and just feel it. close your eyes so that you can
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  stay in the moment and really notice what you're feeling under
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  your hands. Now I want you to take one
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  breath, just one in through your nose, slow, and then let it out
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  through your mouth. So we're going to do it right
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  now. Now that exhale, that's your
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  nervous system being told you are safe right now in this
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  moment, you are OK. The inhale that is bringing in
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  so much beautiful air, but the exhale that my friends, that is
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  where you calm your system down. And remember, you don't have to
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  make the big decision tonight. You don't have to have it
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  figured out. That's fear that's been rushing
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  you, and it can wait. You are allowed to slow down
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  because the lighthouse doesn't make decisions in the middle of
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  the storm. It holds steady and it stays lit
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  and it waits for the water to settle, and then it shows the
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  way. And you are building that in
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  yourself. And every small moment you
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  choose presence over panic and every breath where you come back
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  to your body instead of disappearing into the spiral
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  that is the work. And you are already doing it
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  because you're here. So tonight, before you sleep, I
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  want to leave you with just one question to sit with.
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  Not to answer, just to hold it. Is this decision coming from the
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  truest part of me, or from the part of me that's still afraid?
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  And you don't have to know the answer yet.
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  Just asking the question is enough.
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  And you're not alone in this. Whatever you're carrying
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  tonight, the uncertainty, the fear, the weight of not knowing
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  what comes next, you are not alone in it.
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  And I'll be back Thursday with another few moments of being
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  present with you and holding up that Lantern so that you can see
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  a little bit further ahead. And until then, I'll leave the
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  Lantern right here next to you so that you can remember there
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  is always a little bit of light and you are never alone.
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  But for tonight, just rest and just breathe.
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  You're OK.