Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / Feelings Are Information, Not Identity: Processing Emotions Without Shame
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (01:04) Did you know that feelings are just information? That having a hard day doesn't mean you're failing? Crying in your car doesn't mean you're falling apart? And feeling angry or sad or overwhelmed does not mean something has gone wrong. It means you're alive and you're paying attention. And this is something to be proud of. And maybe if you haven't been paying as close of attention to the information that you've been given through your feelings, it's time to tune in. We have this weird cultural agreement, especially in faith communities, that certain feelings are a problem. Maybe grief means you lack faith or Anger means you're not spiritual enough. But here's the truth, your feelings are just data. It's information. They're not your destiny and it's not a diagnosis. one of my guests, Mindy Cope, had this incredible moment. So she got this spider bite and her foot blew up and it was purple and black and she couldn't walk. And She'd been doing the inner work of noticing her thoughts and being curious of her emotions. And so instead of spiraling out of control and frustration about this spider bite, she made a poem about the spider. And she found gratitude in the beautiful colors on her foot. And she leaned into this moment that was quite frustrating, but trying to find the silver lining. And you know what happened? This really awesome thing where her husband walked in, saw her and offered to help in the most beautiful way. The thing that she thought was happening to her was actually happening for her. And that has been a huge reframe. And not dismissing the feelings, but letting them Be present. Don't pretend that it's not there, but let it be a part of the story. You can feel both. You can feel frustrated, but also look for gratitude. It's that toxic positivity isn't helpful, but it is helpful to acknowledge, hey, this is hard, or I feel frustrated, or I feel sad. And that acknowledgement of your truth actually helps you step into gratitude and the higher emotions and that's what's empowering. ⁓ Mindy also shared this idea from a book she loves that negative thoughts and feelings are like an alarm bell. They're not evidence that your life is a disaster. They're actually a signal that you've started believing something that isn't true about yourself. I love that. And that alarm, it's actually a gift. It's your inner knowing. It's saying, hey, let's get curious here. Let's learn something. There's some information we need to get curious about. So the next time you're having a hard moment, don't white knuckle through it or shame yourself out of it. Just say noted. What is this telling me? Because you're not failing. You are feeling. You're doing exactly what you need to do. So your affirmation. carry you through the rest of this week is I can feel this and still be okay. My feelings are information, not my identity. So give yourself permission today to feel what you're feeling and keep moving. Both are true. You've got this. Now get to it.