Latest / She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ / Beauty From Ashes With Kellie Haddock

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Beauty From Ashes With Kellie Haddock · She Speaks Life - Christian Women, Strengthen Your Faith, Bible Study, Grow Spiritually In Christ

• 0:02
  Hi listeners, welcome to the. She speaks live podcast a weekly
• 0:07
  encouragement where we share our God's stories.
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  I'm your host. Jamie Elizabeth and I am so glad
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  you are spending time with us today to listen.
• 0:20
  Hi friend, welcome back to. She speaks live podcast with be
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  today. I have Kelly, haddock Kelly,
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  have an incredible story to share with us about tragic car
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  accident, losing her husband. And at the time, not knowing, if
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  her 14-week, baby boy would survive, Kelly will be sharing
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  how God carried her through and the growth, she encountered in
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  her relationship with God. She is a beautiful song writer.
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  And has a new album coming out and she just has a huge heart to
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  pump. Hope in your soul.
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  Thank you Kelly for coming on here.
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  It's so good to be with you. Jamie and thank you for
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  listening as well. Yes, excited about your new
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  album. That's out into the world.
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  We share a little bit about that.
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  Yeah. So my new album is called
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  orchids from fire and our family, we have Three kids.
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  We were a couple years ago touring this Wilderness preserve
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  and the guide was telling us how wildfires are actually really
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  healthy for the ecosystem. It helps get rid of invasive
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  species and put important nutrients back into the soil.
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  When he said that in this particular part of Florida.
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  When there's a wildfire, the first thing that grows our
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  orchids, so you see their bright pops of purple color against the
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  black ashes. And I was just so struck by that
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  image because, you know, the scripture that talks about how
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  God gives us beauty from ashes. And so I love that image of the
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  black, ashes all around. And then these bright orchids,
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  just the symbol of Hope bursting forth against the black this
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  image of Destruction. And I think we've all
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  experienced those seasons in our life where it just feels like
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  everything around us is just destroyed.
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  Or falling apart or our hearts or chaos and all of these things
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  and I am a hope giver and this record is pumping with hope and
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  no matter what it is that you're going through.
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  I think I have a song on there to meet you.
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  So even if your life feels perfect, I've got, I've got some
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  fun songs just to meet you where you are, but it's the ultimate
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  cheerleader album, and I'm so excited about it, and I hope
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  that you all go listen to it. Guess.
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  Well, you're a beautiful writer. Her and seeing her to have that
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  both. I mean, what a gift from God.
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  So cool and how God gave you that impression for the title of
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  the album and he's so beautiful that way.
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  Yeah. And so being a hope Giver, it's
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  because you had a experience going through your own hope and
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  what that looks like, you had gone through something very
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  tragic and if you don't Mind. Just taking us back to that day
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  where you found yourself in that car with your husband and your
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  14-week baby boy. And what did that look like?
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  Take a yeah. So my husband in our baby boy
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  and I were driving home from visiting his parents.
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  So we were on the highway and we were playing the air trumpets to
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  Al Green's. Let's Stay Together.
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  This is one of our favorite songs and the sun was setting.
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  There was just one of those Beautiful Moments where life was
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  perfect. And that's the last thing I
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  remember. I think it's a Grace that I
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  don't remember more. It's just like my mind goes
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  black. And the next thing I remember
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  there was somebody walking up to me and they said you're going to
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  get to ride in a helicopter. And I was so excited.
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  I said, oh, I've always wanted to ride in a helicopter and they
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  looked at me and said, you haven't always wanted to ride in
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  one of these helicopters and I was a little confused, but I I
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  went with them and they put myself and our baby boy on the
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  helicopter and flew us to the nearest hospital, which was in
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  Orlando, and they wield are baby one way and they wheeled me
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  another way and I really wasn't worried at that time about my
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  husband. I just figured oh, his injuries.
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  Maybe weren't very bad. Maybe they put him in an
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  ambulance to somewhere close by so I began asking different
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  nurses. Oh, can you tell me what room my
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  husband's in? Oh, do you know how my husband's
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  doing? Nobody had any answers, but I
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  still really didn't feel scared at that point.
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  The few hours went on and my mom and sister had driven in from
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  Jacksonville where they lived. And once they got there, a
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  hospital chaplain came into my, ER room.
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  And she showed no emotion at all, and she just looked at me
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  and she said, you guys were in a bad car accident and your
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  husband was killed instantly. Hmm, and I looked at her and I
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  said the first thing that came to my mind.
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  Mind, you know, we never premeditate what we're going to
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  say when our life falls apart, and I certainly never imagined.
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  I'd be in that spot. At the first thing that bubbled
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  out of me surprised. Even me and I said, God is good.
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  And Jesus is Lord, and she turned said, nothing showed, no
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  emotion and left the room. A few minutes later.
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  An ER doctor walked in and said, you have no injuries and you're
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  free to go and your son is in the children's.
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  Which was just across the street.
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  And so he said, you know, you can walk over and see her son.
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  He's in the Pediatric, Intensive Care Unit and that was one of
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  the longest walks of my life because I knew I was going to
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  walk into his room and have to face him and tell him.
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  He doesn't have a daddy anymore. Hmm, and it was incredibly hard
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  and I don't know how I put one foot in front of the other, but
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  somehow I made it through grad brought me through and our son
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  was severely injured. I get a traumatic brain injury
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  bleeding on his brain, multiple strokes.
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  And he was having seizures that they couldn't control.
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  And when he would have a seizure, he would Flatline stop
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  breathing. And it was very touch-and-go
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  after a few days. One of the doctors told me that
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  if he survived he would probably never walk talk or show emotion.
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  So again, my world was falling apart and I was realizing that
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  if our baby survived, I was going to be a mom.
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  Child with severe disabilities. And I knew God, you are still
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  good and you are still Lord, even though everything is
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  falling apart around me and Eli has an incredible story of a
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  healing. He's 17.
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  He's a miracle. He's still has special needs
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  when so many ways. Has special needs make them more
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  special and it's just so fun to get to be as Mom.
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  And I've talked a lot about being a mom of a child with
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  special needs and his unique story of healing and so if
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  you're Sit in that you can go on my website or I have some other
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  podcast where we really focused more on what that part was like.
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  But one thing I will say is that you know for a lot of his life,
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  you know, he's been in therapy for pretty much ever and for a
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  lot of his life, all the well-meaning adults and
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  therapists and school teachers and myself.
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  We were focused on helping him get better but to do that we
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  were focused on all the things he couldn't do and so I became
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  Came very just like frustrated with who he wasn't and what he
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  couldn't do. And there was a lot of
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  disappointment as a mom, as his mom in that.
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  And when the Lord showed me, that and broke me of that, and
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  help me to just celebrate him for, who he is, and what he can
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  do. I experienced so much healing
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  and then he'll, I also experienced a lot of healing,
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  and I think that's a really important thing for us to
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  realize As moms if you're listening and your mom, whether
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  your child has special needs are not.
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  I think it can be easy to focus on who our children aren't and
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  what they're not doing, or can't do and we're missing the
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  Incredible Gift and opportunity in front of us.
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  What our kids need from us, is to celebrate who they are, and
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  what they can do, because God is made each of us.
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  So unique, and there's so much there to celebrate, and that is
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  really freed my heart and and really free to Eli's heart to be
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  to just be Himself, and it's wonderful.
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  Yeah. What great was them and just
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  godly perspective and the shift of heart for you.
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  That's just amazing. I know I grew up with special
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  needs. My mom was a teacher for 30,
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  something years. And so growing up as a child.
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  I'd go to her classroom and meet all the kids and they have just
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  such a joy to them and just so unique special.
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  About them. That just are a gift from God
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  and I get that. I understand that.
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  So, that's great. So I had a question when you
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  were talking about getting the news about your husband and you
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  instantly, your knee-jerk reaction was to say, God is
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  good. Give us a little glimpse of your
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  faith before all this happened. Yeah.
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  It's a great question and for you.
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  You who are listening right now. I want to remind you that I'm 17
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  years into my journey of grieving and healing and healing
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  just takes time. There's no shortcuts.
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  I wish there was. And if there are, if somebody's
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  telling you that there are run the other way because it just it
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  really does take time. And so we cannot compare our
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  stories. So wherever you're at in your
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  journey of healing and grief or whatever it is that you are
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  struggling with. I would encourage you that where
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  you are today is not a mistake and the Holy Spirit is at work
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  in your life and you are right where you're supposed to be.
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  And and I'm 17 years into where I'm supposed to be.
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  And so, our stories are unique and I don't want you to get
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  stuck in this trap of comparing your story or your healing to
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  anyone elses. So, I came to know the Lord when
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  I was in high school and it was just like the switch flipped.
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  I was all in, you know, I just I would read my Bible during lunch
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  and just as soon as I encountered the Living, God, I
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  was just like, yes, I'm on team Jesus and so I'm grateful for
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  that because he had formed a solid foundation of faith.
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  In me before, I was going to encounter what he knew was was
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  coming my way. So you were just on fire.
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  Already, so that's why you got the knee-jerk reaction and just
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  the Holy Spirit, speaking through you with that.
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  And that show that when I was reading in the word, a few
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  months later, I read that. No one can say Jesus is Lord,
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  except by the power of the Holy Spirit.
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  And I realized that it wasn't Kelly haddock responding to that
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  hospital. Chaplain.
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  When I heard the worst news of my life.
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  It was the Holy Spirit. Bubbling up out of me.
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  It was a holy spirit speaking truth, through me and it was his
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  power and his with meanness. That was getting me through that
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  darkest moment of my life. Wow, that's powerful.
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  Okay, so take us into now, you're home and you're
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  physically healing, but I'm sure you said it takes a lot of time
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  for that, emotional healing. And if you even Old spiritually,
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  take us through what it looked like for you to heal from this
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  trauma. Yeah, in some ways.
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  I'm still healing and I really the first two years.
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  I was afraid to grieve and I was afraid to be honest with God, I
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  was afraid for it to get messy. And what started out as this
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  powerful moment of saying God is good and Jesus, as Lord, kind of
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  became this thing that I hid behind.
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  I had a very public Ministry at the time, and I felt like it was
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  my job to defend. God to say, oh, this horrible
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  thing happened to me, but it's okay because guys, good, Jesus
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  is Lord, and I was like, I had to present him on a silver
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  platter to everybody else. And I felt like the weight of
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  making him look good was on me and I had to be perfect and
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  grieving or doubting or being angry or questioning.
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  God was not an option, but when I hid behind That that meant
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  that I couldn't begin to heal because we can't heal if we're
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  not honest. And so it was about two years in
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  when I experienced some other frustrations and losses.
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  Because what I really wanted I thought, well God.
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  Yeah, this horrible thing happen to me.
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  But if you just give me a new husband, then it'll fix
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  everything. And we can keep going on.
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  And God was like, I love you too much.
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  I'm not gonna put a Band-Aid on a flesh, wound here.
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  So, his withholding what I thought.
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  I needed and giving me what I actually needed, which was space
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  and time with him to grieve. And heal was a severe Mercy, but
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  it was the only way. Now, I could see that I could
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  actually heal. And so I was reading in job and
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  at the end of job. I mean, you probably know job
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  loss like everything and jobs friends.
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  Were all presenting God on a silver platter like, oh, but God
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  is good and Jesus Lord. Right, they were acting a lot.
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  Like I was acting and job was like, this ain't right?
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  Like this is hard. This is messy.
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  I don't like this. What's going on?
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  God like job was so honest with God, asking the hard questions
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  and his friends, like could not handle that.
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  So at the end of job, my Bible in the message version says God
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  restores the job. And so the first verse there the
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  last chapter says My friend job. And I believe that's the first
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  time chronologically. Were God calls a human his
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  friend. So, God says my friend job.
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  I want you to pray for your friends, for not being honest,
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  either with me or about me and then it goes on.
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  Do, you know to the list of how God restores job, but that just
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  jumped off the page to me because I realized I had not
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  been honest with God or About God and God broke me of that in
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  that moment because I realized the way Joe became friends with
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  God was because he was in an honest tenacious relationship a
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  back-and-forth vibrant relationship, you know, if we
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  don't talk to our husbands or we're upset and we're just like
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  I'm fine, you know, that that relationship is not going to
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  function and it's the same with God.
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  We have to be honest with him and realize that he's big enough
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  to handle our questions and our doubts.
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  And he will still love us. He's not going to be shocked
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  like you thought what yeah what Grace is hard.
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  It's like no. Thank you for coming to me
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  Kelly. I want to wrap my arms around
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  you and carry you through the hard because I know I see I get
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  it and I don't want you to be alone in it and I don't want you
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  to feel like you have to hide. And so, when I began to be
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  honest with God, first of all, I stepped away from a very public.
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  Mystery and that's when things got messy.
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  But that was also when I began to heal.
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  Mmm, I love that. And I love that you brought up
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  Jobe because I've used this to be time and time before the
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  first chapter. That's when he had all those
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  Messengers come up to him and telling him horrible news.
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  And then at the very end, it says a job worshipped after he
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  gets all the The bad news with one message after another.
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  And I just I see that and you just you got that bad news and
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  you're like, oh, but God is still good.
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  It is a form of worship. So yeah.
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  Yeah, and I'm all about pouring out everything to God.
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  I can't emphasize that enough. It's so important.
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  It's the first step to Healing like you said, and it's a point
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  of surrender when we just pour out all our John coming.
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  God already knows like you're saying, what's in our heart and
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  minds and when we there's something about voicing that out
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  and getting it out. You're not hiding anything.
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  And I really feel like that the enemy fleas at that, you know,
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  has you're resisting the Devil by doing that and getting it out
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  and sharing and talking with God on a friend level and a dialogue
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  with him. Hey, this is how I'm feeling.
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  Everything anger pain. Why me whatever it is that
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  you're going through and like you said, he can handle it so
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  good. Yeah.
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  Okay. I'm curious.
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  Did you always have this gift for music and a beautiful voice
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  and know how to write songs? So beautifully.
• 18:13
  Yeah. Well, thank you.
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  I'm classically trained and for piano Voice.
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  I taught for 13 years and so I've always wanted to be a
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  songwriter and musician and I've known since pretty much.
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  I became a believer that God created me to do this and it's
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  it's my dream and my passion and Chariots of Fire, the movie
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  Chariots of Fire. He says, why do you run any
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  said? Because when I run, I feel God's
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  pleasure and I feel the very same way when I am doing music
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  and do. What God.
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  God created me to do. It's like yes, I feel his
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  pleasure and is such a gift and you know, to Circle back to what
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  we were saying about God is good and Jesus as Lord and then this
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  this journey of kind of honesty and almost questioning that, not
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  almost, I questioned that I definitely question his
• 19:08
  goodness, but he brought me through that.
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  He didn't leave me stuck in any one of those questions, but he
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  brought me through that to a place where I can sit right
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  here. And talk into this microphone
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  with 100% confidence and say, yes.
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  I have tested this to the brink. And yes, God is good.
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  And Jesus is Lord, and it's not just some nice Pie in the Sky
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  idea anymore. It's like, no, like I have been
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  through some of the worst things.
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  And, I know, I'm still here because of his grace and
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  faithfulness, and he is enough for our hearts.
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  No, Our what it is that we're going through.
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  Yeah, because he is good. That's right.
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  That's right. Did worship the music.
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  Help your healing. Absolutely.
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  It was it was vital and essential, a lot of my songs are
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  processing songs. So it's sort of what I'm
• 20:06
  learning. I'll go to the piano and I'll
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  write a song about that and it's my hope that it'll help others
• 20:14
  as you or processing something. You know, we have those songs
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  where it's like, oh my goodness. You know, how did she get in my
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  head? Or she said what I was always
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  thinking but I never had words to say and those are really the
• 20:24
  songs. I aim to write or those songs
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  that just come alongside of you and help, you know show you the
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  way forward or help hold your hand as we move forward
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  together. I really am passionate about
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  seeing us. Not only encounter the Living
• 20:39
  God, but live our life with just freedom and joy and hope in all
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  the ways. He's created us to do that.
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  At. Yeah, it's beautiful.
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  Now. When did you start with your
• 20:53
  albums? Was it after the car accident?
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  Or were you tapping into this beforehand?
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  Yeah. So my first record AJ, my
• 21:02
  husband and I we were actually in the middle of recording.
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  What was it kind of my first, you know, album and and so I
• 21:10
  about a year after the accident. I kind of went back in the
• 21:12
  studio and finish that up. And so I think I'm kind of
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  always been in this cycle of kind of birthing out.
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  Birds. But, you know, I've been doing
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  it for more than 20 years now. And so I think I've gotten a lot
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  better over the time. I hope so.
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  It's been really fun to just see that journey and that
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  progression and getting to work with some of the best people in
• 21:35
  the industry. And this record is just I think
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  the culmination of my entire life of healing and growth and
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  journey and work and putting my hundred percent best into every
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  moment of this record. I there's not a single moment
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  where I was like, oh I cut a corner.
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  Oh, I could have done that better.
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  I just I I've been focusing a lot on the story where the Widow
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  gives her last two coins and and God says, you know, why her gift
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  is so significant is because she gave me her all and I felt like
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  that's what he's calling me to do with this record is it's not
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  it's not do I have as big of a budget as Artist or do I have
• 22:20
  this or a big following or this or that?
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  But it's am I going to trust God to give him my all and distrust
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  him. Like this is, this is my entire
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  offering. This is my best.
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  Here you go. Lord, I'm all in and so that's
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  what I feel challenged to and I've just loved kind of that
• 22:40
  fulfillment of saying yes to God.
• 22:43
  Yeah, beautiful. Whoo.
• 22:45
  I love it. Oh, I can't wait to listen to
• 22:48
  it. Album, okay.
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  So as we finish up each episode, I asked the guests to leave us
• 22:55
  with a takeaway for The Listener to ponder on which you speak
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  life to us with that. Mmm.
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  I want you to know. I said it early and I'm going to
• 23:05
  say it again. Where you are today is no
• 23:08
  mistake and I want you to know that God has you right?
• 23:13
  Or he wants you to be and that doesn't mean that you're going
• 23:16
  to be stuck there forever. If you're in a way.
• 23:19
  In place and that feels like a hard place.
• 23:21
  Don't be discouraged by that. Don't don't hear me saying, oh,
• 23:25
  you'll be in that hard place forever.
• 23:27
  But no, also the God, God is with you where you are, and he
• 23:33
  is leading you forward, and you are on a triumphant journey.
• 23:39
  I just see this mountain. Like you are climbing that
• 23:42
  mountain and you're not giving up and you are not alone.
• 23:46
  It's almost like there's this whole parade.
• 23:48
  Deaf people like helping carry your backpack and helping carry
• 23:53
  your light and helping carry the, you know, the whole load
• 23:56
  you're not alone and God is with you and he is giving you
• 24:00
  everything you need and he will provide everything you need
• 24:06
  because he is good and he is Lord.
• 24:09
  Yeah, that's right. Amen.
• 24:12
  Okay the name of your album again, and we're can everybody
• 24:17
  connect with you. And get that album in their
• 24:21
  hands. So the album is orchids from
• 24:24
  fire and it is streaming everywhere that you stream
• 24:28
  music. So Spotify.
• 24:30
  Apple, iTunes Amazon, wherever you like to stream music, you
• 24:35
  can find my album there. If you're the kind of person
• 24:38
  that likes to hold it in your hands.
• 24:40
  You can order them on my website at Kelly had it.com.
• 24:44
  That's Kelly with an ie and I also have a ton of resources on
• 24:48
  my website. Website music videos, I'll have
• 24:50
  a link to this podcast and other podcast, I've done all their.
• 24:54
  So if you're the kind of person that likes to Deep dive, like I
• 24:58
  have the Deep. It's even have a link called
• 25:00
  Dive In, so it's just ready for you.
• 25:03
  And I'm very active on Instagram.
• 25:07
  As I said earlier. I am a hope giver and I take
• 25:10
  that calling very seriously. So my goal in Instagram is to
• 25:13
  brighten your feed and help point you to Hope every time
• 25:16
  that you see a post from me scroll past.
• 25:19
  On your phone. I hope you feel encouraged and
• 25:23
  so you can follow me there at Kelly, haddock music and I hope
• 25:26
  you do. I'd love to meet you.
• 25:27
  Yeah, that's how I met you. Yes, I think this girl's got
• 25:31
  going on. There's like some beautiful post
• 25:35
  and engaged with other people on their posts and just beautiful.
• 25:41
  Just authentic genuine heart for the Lord and want to serve
• 25:46
  others as love. And I Just love that.
• 25:49
  I had a quick question before we, and do you have this album
• 25:54
  in a vinyl. Oh man.
• 25:55
  I will literally, I was in our basement and I had all my vinyl.
• 26:00
  My Christmas record is on vinyl and so I was moving that cuz I
• 26:04
  was redoing the city that our table setting and I like had to
• 26:07
  move my Christmas off and I was like, should I put this album on
• 26:10
  vinyl? So I think this is going to be a
• 26:12
  People's Choice. So if the record gets enough
• 26:15
  traction and enough streams, and there's enough Buzz around It
• 26:19
  then I would love to press it on vinyl, but I think it's going to
• 26:23
  have to be in response to whether whether there's enough
• 26:28
  demand for that. And I hope that there is because
• 26:30
  I'd be really fun. Would you listen to it on vinyl?
• 26:33
  I share, would I have a vinyl record player?
• 26:37
  And we have two of them. Actually.
• 26:39
  My daughter has one and my son. So we love jamming to vinyl
• 26:43
  records and they're all into it at that age.
• 26:47
  The teenage years. Ears that are so.
• 26:50
  Highly recommend it. Well everybody go on there.
• 26:53
  Listen to her song Let's demand a vinyl because there's just
• 26:59
  something fun about that. I just love it and the sound is
• 27:02
  incredible and it's great to kind of gather around as a
• 27:07
  family and listen to it. It is.
• 27:09
  Yeah. I press the Christmas album on
• 27:11
  vinyl. We released that last year and
• 27:14
  what was really fun as on-site. A, we have the Christmas songs
• 27:18
  and on side. We just did the instrumentals,
• 27:20
  which is also really fun because instrumental Christmas musics.
• 27:23
  Wonderful. So that's telling me that's been
• 27:26
  really well received. What's the name of the Christmas
• 27:28
  album. Peace on Earth?
• 27:31
  Mmm, beautiful. Well, I'm going to have to get
• 27:33
  that and I will have it on my vinyl record player, especially
• 27:39
  this coming season Christmas and well, thanks, Kelly for coming
• 27:44
  on here. Thank you, Jamie.
• 27:45
  And thank you guys for listening and for your time as well.
• 27:51
  Thank you so much for listening today.
• 27:53
  I trust that God has encouraged you through this message for
• 27:58
  more information on this ministry and to access free
• 28:02
  downloads, please visit my website at Jamie Elizabeth.com
• 28:07
  and sign up. You can also find me on
• 28:11
  Instagram and Facebook at Jamie Elizabeth.
• 28:15
  She speaks life. That's ja.
• 28:19
  Why mea Elizabeth, she speaks life.
• 28:24
  Until next time, my friends. I pray God reveals himself
• 28:28
  through your own life story.